You Drive Me Wild
by ilithyae
Summary: Isabella has always been told she was "big boned"; always a little curvier than her other friends and never being able to fit in. Others, like Edward Cullen were less tactful. "You're fat Bella, plain and simple- pun intended." This is Bella's journey to self-confidence, self-acceptance and angry love. OOC, fluffy, future lemons and mild language.
1. Good Mood

**I've been milling this idea around for a couple years; never really taking a shape or a concrete identity but its decided it wants to play with my other stories as well. And who am I to deny its right to do so?**

**_Summary: Isabella has always__ been told she was "big boned"; always a little curvier than her other friends and never being able to fit in. Others, like Edward Cullen were less tactful, "you're fat Bella, plain and simple- pun intended." This is Bella's journey to self-confidence, self-acceptance and angry love. OOC, fluffy and future citrus._**

******_4.12.13._ Thank you sooo much to the girls at Project Team Beta for helping me out: ****_Mod Monica,_**** _hammondgirl, Nlr287bells, TheSandWillPrevail, Batgirl8968._ ****You know how everyone says "it takes a village to [blank]"? Yeah well it does take a village to write good fanfiction (if I do say so myself.) :]**

**Disclaimer: This author in no way is gaining a profit from the use any published literature and/or other media. She rejects otherwise and it is for the sole entertainment of she and the website's- fanfiction dot net- audience.**

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Edvard Grieg- _Good Mood_

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_1986._

"Oh, Charlie, look at her," Renee Higginbotham-Swan told her misting husband as she held her exceptionally big newborn in her arms. Bouquets of every flower available at the town's flower shop and pink, white and yellow balloons were spread out in the small private hospital room declaring the baby a girl.

"She's beautiful, Renee." Charlie leaned over his wife and kissed her forehead, putting some of her blonde hair behind her ear. Twenty hours of painful labor and an emergency cesarean later, his wife looked relieved and happy. Or so he thought. "What shall we name her?"

"Esme and I were thinking about Olivia," Renee offered. The couple hadn't spoken about baby names, deciding to make a decision after the birth.

"I like that name, sweetie, but how about Kelly?" Charlie asked hopeful. "It was my great-grandmother's name— you know the one that came over from Ireland in 1910?"

Renee frowned. "In that case, I want her to carry my great-grandmother's name, Marie. She fled France during the first World War." She looked down at her pink bundle and mused, _Kelly Marie Swan_. Mulling it over soon caused her to frown. "I don't like the ring to it."

"All right, she won't have Kelly Swan's name. How about my maternal grandmother, Isabella di Gallo? If we're talking about her carrying her family's heritage, we can focus on my mother's Sicilian roots," he offered.

"How about looking into my German side?" Renee wasn't willing to let go of the reins; she'd always thought Charlie didn't think outside of the box—always focusing on following the rules. _As any police trainee should_, her conscience thought but her selfishness won out. "I've always loved the name Brigitta."

"Yeah, if we want her to be part of _The Sound of Music _revival at the Forks Playhouse," Charlie uncharacteristically fought back. This was his daughter too, half of him, and he wasn't going to let Renee take that away from him. "I vote for Isabella Marie Swan." He put his foot down.

Renee wanted to fight back, but looking into her husband's deep brown eyes, she saw nothing but determination. She still held out hope. Heaving a deep sigh she said, "All right, Charlie. Let's name her Isabella Marie."

Charlie grinned, going back to seeing his sleepy baby. "Good solid name. Right, Isabella?" he asked the fat-cheeked baby.

"Isabella..." Renee winced.

Falling in love, marrying her high school sweetheart and having a baby soon after had made Renee very unhappy. She had begun arguing over insignificant things a month after the wedding which made Charlie worried she regretted her decision to stay with him instead of going to college in New York like she'd planned in high school. Charlie hoped their newborn would change Renee's attitude and make her realize that she'd made the right decision in marrying him and staying in Forks.

"How about we name her Belle Marie? Doesn't that sound so romantic? Beautiful Mary." She wanted to manipulate him into saying yes.

"No." Charlie knew that if he didn't stand his ground now, Renee would never take him seriously, especially now that the baby was here. This could cause authoritative issues when raising and rearing the child. "Isabella Marie." Renee pursed her lips, studying her defiant husband. Not that it was lost cause.

"Okay, okay Isabella Marie." _We'll call her Marie around the house, _she thought bitterly.

Charlie smiled at his victory but he knew deep inside Renee would try to undermine him somehow; his only chance was hoping and praying Isabella changed her way of thinking. He looked to Isabella Marie grinning from ear to ear. The baby was waking up and cooing lightly, taking in her new surroundings. "Hi, Isabella Marie Swan," he whispered, having a delicate hold on the baby's chubby fingers. She had come into the world weighing nine-pounds, eight-ounces, making her a little big for a newborn and causing Renee to have the emergency cesarean. "Nice to meet you, beautiful." Charlie felt his throat close up. "I'm Charlie Swan, your daddy."

Isabella looked at her father without much recognition, of course. To her, this creature was just that, some indescribable thing that was bothering her sleeping.

"This is your mommy," Charlie went on.

"Charlie, she doesn't understand a word you're saying." Renee rolled her eyes and readjusted Isabella in her arms.

"Renee, I'm going to speak to her in sentences. I I don't think baby talk helps anything, and Carlisle said as much, too." He added proudly. The new—and youngest—lead doctor of the little Forks Hospital, Carlisle Cullen, told him that studies had shown baby talk hindered the early development of the cognitive thought process of babies, hence never speaking to his own children in "cute gibberish."

"But do you really think she understands you introducing us? She's only a few hours old!" Renee whispered, causing Isabella to cry. "Look what you've done!" Renee accused Charlie, trying to rock Isabella and suddenly feeling nervous. "Call the nurse; I don't know what I'm doing!" Charlie didn't need telling twice. He ran out and grabbed the nearest nurse and brought her back to room 106.

"Don't worry, Renee, she's just hungry," Nurse Gunderson said as she took out a breast pump, making Charlie uncomfortable and hot. "Now do you want to try to get the baby to latch on, or do you want to pump?"

"I'd rather the pump." Renee looked at Isabella as if she was a foreign object. "I'm not ready to feed her myself."

Charlie looked away, blood pooling in his cheeks as Mrs. Gunderson helped his wife begin to use the breast pump. "Charlie, you'll need to help Renee whenever she uses the pump, though." This might prove difficult since Charlie was an introverted sheepish man, but his daughter came first.

Renee didn't believe he would be willing to help her out; he was very awkward and too straight-laced to even come close to anything so personal. Charlie had always been nervous around anything remotely taboo. Their sex life was to the point, not really exploring their tastes or fantasies, leaving Renee feeling empty and lonely. She knew Charlie loved her, but he'd never moved on from his thirteen-year-old boy's view on girls and intercourse. _That's the problem_, thought Renee, _it's intercourse with Charlie, not sex. Medical versus exciting and fun._

Not being able to take much more of it, Charlie excused himself, saying he needed to fill out Isabella's federal forms. She had been born in the early hours of September 13th,making a usually not-superstitious Charlie nervous. _No, Isabella is my lucky charm_, he thought, willing himself to remember it was all hokum. _Besides, she wasn't even born in October. Isn't that the true month of bad luck?_

"Charlie!" Carlisle Cullen walked towards him, medical chart in hand, wearing a white coat and stethoscope around his neck, stopping Charlie's thoughts. "Congratulations, my man!" He shook a smiling Charlie's hand and gave him a hug. "She's a beautiful, healthy girl!" He looked through the chart, green eyes sparkling. "A little bigger than anticipated, but nothing to worry about; her vitals are great and nothing seems out of the ordinary." He grinned.

"How often should we bring her by for checkups?"

"Renee won't be discharged until Tuesday, giving her three days' rest and time with the nurses to help her get accustomed to the baby. I would say come by two week's Tuesday."

"Great, I'll make sure to bring them by." He remembered something and chuckled. "By next month, it'll be your turn again." Charlie thought of Carlisle's wife Esme, who was eight months pregnant herself. She and Renee had gone to school together and had stayed in touch since then.

Carlisle ran his hand behind his neck looking sheepish. "Yeah, it's going to be a girl. To tell you the truth, I'm really nervous." Charlie cocked an eyebrow. "I think two boys are easy, you know? There isn't much to raising boys except teaching them how to treat a lady and how to wrap it." Charlie blushed slightly but said nothing. Carlisle went on, "with girls, it's more complicated."

Charlie nodded, realization dawning for the first time. _All of the female talks are going to be torture. We'll cross that bridge when we get there and besides, Renee will be there to help me out_. He wiped his palms on his sides.

"Did you decide on a name?" Carlisle recognized the look of dread on Charlie's face and decided to change the subject. He led the new father to the front office where they held all of the federal forms.

"Yes, Isabella Marie Swan," he announced proudly. He felt an indescribable amount of pride and happiness erupt inside of him.

"Wow, what a beautiful name!" Carlisle nodded. "Does it have a meaning behind it?"

"Well, I'm sure each name has its own specific meaning. But we named her after Isabella, my maternal grandmother, and Marie after Renee's _great_-grandmother."

"I have to say, Charlie, it really is a beautiful name." They reached the front desk and requested the forms for Charlie to begin filling out.

"The U.S. Social Security Administration will send you a letter requesting you to go to the nearest Social Security Office, the closest being in Port Angeles," Carlisle informed Charlie before beginning to fill a folder of official-looking forms. "There, they'll fingerprint her and further the paperwork; her social security card should be mailed to you in the next two months, depending on how long it takes them to process her information. Same goes for her birth certificate and the like."

"Understood." Charlie nodded, but he was thinking of something else. "Listen, Carlisle, I've been planning a surprise welcome party for both Renee and Isabella, and I was wondering if you and your family could come. Esme is good friends with Renee and well," he became red at the next admission, "I consider you a good friend, too. I would love it if you came."

Carlisle beamed and shook his hand. "I agree, Charlie, and we'd be more than happy to come over. When do you plan to have it?"

"Next Saturday. My house." He suddenly remembered something. "You know where we just moved to, right?"

"Esme mentioned you moved from Mr. Harkin's back house to a small Dutch colonial somewhere on Tulip Drive?" he asked, thinking about it.

"That's right, 690 East Tulip Drive," he corrected. He bought it from Mr. Harkin's nephew after he moved to Cincinnati and needed it off his hands."

"The Hales live two blocks away; that's a great neighborhood. Carlisle commented approvingly.

Charlie grinned yet again. "Yeah, it's a great little house and I got it at a good price."

"How's the training going, by the way?" Carlisle leaned against the wall.

"It's going great. I finished most of my physical training and now I'm going into gun safety; everything is going well." He thought briefly of his constant marital arguing but said nothing of it. It's_ just a phase. Once we get accustomed to the changes and the new baby_, e_verything will be okay_, he told himself.

Just then, he heard children's voices arguing. He noticed Carlisle stand up straight and grin from ear to ear, staring somewhere behind Charlie. The latter turned around to see Carlisle's two very rowdy boys and very pregnant wife, Esme Platt Cullen, who was carrying a bouquet of wild flowers.

Her face had the pregnant woman radiance on top her natural beauty. She had always held the place of the most beautiful girl in Forks since childhood but seeing her pregnant made her look unbelievably beautiful. _Renee had the glow, but she never looked as happy and radiant as Esme_, Charlie thought briefly before Esme reached the men.

"You kicked me in the car!" Carlisle's youngest boy accused and pushed his older brother with one hand holding a big pink _It's a Girl!_ balloon with a little white dress as decoration; the other carried a white balloon with pink dots reading the same message. They walked ahead of their mother, almost knocking down an older man with a portable IV. The man was able to hold on for dear life on a nearby chair and glowered at the boys, who were too caught up in their argument to notice.

Charlie knew the accuser was Edward and the other was Emmett. Emmett was a brunette with blue eyes and slightly taller and broader than his younger brother, who had a slight frame, a weird blondish auburn tint to his hair Charlie couldn't name and green eyes. Emmett resembled his mother and Edward, his father.

"Did not!" Emmett whined, punching him back with more force because of his size. Edward let go of the balloon which drifted to the ceiling, yelling in pain as he threw himself on Emmett, and they began hitting each other with their tiny fists and legs. Emmett let go of his own balloon, too, which met its counterpart at the ceiling. Edward got a clear shot of his brother's jaw and the latter gave him a swift kick in the thigh.

"Boys!" the Cullen parents reprimanded simultaneously. Carlisle made his way around Charlie toward his family, while Esme stopped in her tracks and put her hands on her pregnant belly. They stopped what they were doing to see their father towering over them. They let go of each other as if the other was burning hot and looked to the ground, arms behind their back, eyes on the ground, ashamed. Charlie quietly approved of Carlisle's child-rearing.

"You are in a hospital," Carlisle began firmly. "You must respect the patients that are here for whatever reason." The boys said nothing, still looking down, shame-faced. "You must always show respect when you're inside any such facility. I have told you this much countless times." He waited for a response. "Well?"

"Yes, sir." Suddenly, two consecutive pops were heard overhead. Everyone gasped frantically, and the boys threw their hands on their ears, closing their eyes. Esme held on to her belly looking around, and Charlie's hand reflexively went to where his gun usually hung. Remembering he wasn't wearing his gun belt, he looked around, expecting to see two criminals wielding weapons around.

All he saw were pink and white pieces of reflective plastic drifting to the ground and the tiny thud of ribbon hitting the ground. Charlie looked over the boys' heads and realized the balloons popped.

"Boys!" Esme exclaimed after she herself assessed the situation. The nurses went to check on the patients that were housed in the immediate rooms. Charlie could make out an older woman's cries as a nurse tried to calm her down.

"Go find Mr. Lewis and apologize. You almost knocked him over with your bad behavior," Carlisle instructed his children while rubbing his temple. "We'll talk about your punishment when I get home tonight."

"Yes, sir." The boys turned to their mother who had softened.

"Come on, let's go find Mr. Lewis," Esme said, shooting Carlisle an understanding look. "I'll be right back, Charlie. I came to visit Renee and the baby. I'll go to the gift shop and get new balloons." She smiled at Charlie and guided her boys toward the end of the hallway.

"I'm sorry you had to witness that." Carlisle turned to Charlie and heaved a heavy sigh. "I guess boys are just as difficult as girls, for different reasons." Charlie laughed, agreeing with him. The former excused himself to check on his patients while the latter went back to his family.

"I heard a noise. What happened?" Renee asked nervously as Charlie walked in. He quickly noticed the nurses had placed a sleeping Isabella in a portable, hospital issued crib.

"Nothing happened." Charlie went to Renee and took her hand soothingly. "The Cullen boys accidentally let go of the balloons they were bringing Isabella and they exploded under the harsh lights—that's all." Renee visibly relaxed after his explanation. "Esme's coming to see you and the baby. She went to buy some new balloons for you."

"All right." Renee nodded, looking towards the door. After a few minutes, Charlie could hear the footfalls of the Cullen boys and nervously looked at the sleeping form of his newborn.

"Quietly, boys," Esme was heard whispering. "Remember what your father said." They got to the threshold. Both boys had freshly inflated balloons, similar to the original ones. They looked to Charlie, nervously waiting for him to let them in.

He smiled as he noticed their apprehensive looks on their faces. "Will you promise to be quiet?" He bent down to their eye level, and pointed to the crib. "She's sleeping, you see." Emmett nodded furiously and Edward swallowed hard and nodded too. "All right, you may come in." Charlie stood out of their way as both boys took each other's hands as if an evil creature was in their midst.

"Quietly, boys," Esme stressed as she walked behind them with a fresh bouquet. "Renee," she greeted her warmly, handing her the flowers but still keeping an eye on her unpredictable children.

Charlie held his arms out to Emmett since he was too short to have a good look of Isabella. Emmett flung himself at Charlie, taking the police trainee by surprise from the sudden trust and power behind the five-year-old boy.

"Whoa, nelly," Charlie exclaimed, trying to cover up his surprise; Esme and Renee giggled behind him. After adjusting to Emmett, Charlie walked over to the baby. Emmett craned his neck for a better look.

"Wow," he said, his big blue eyes sparkled.

Charlie felt Edward near his leg trying to share what his brother was seeing. Edward frowned when he could see nothing but blankets.

The new dad got used to the idea of Emmett on his side and suddenly wanted to fast forward time so Isabella could be this big and do the same with her. "I wanna see, I wanna see." Edward tugged on Charlie's jeans, who looked down, a little surprised about how it made him feel.

He liked being wanted.

"No fair," Emmett said as Charlie put him down. "Eddie cut my turn in half."

"I haven't even had my turn," Edward answered back, putting his arms out for Charlie to take. When he did, Edward grinned, excitement all over him.

"Here we go." Charlie said, taking Edward and lifting him up. Because he was younger and smaller, it was easier to lift him than Emmet.

"Careful, Edward," Esme instructed when Edward tried craning his neck to the point where Charlie had to lean in or lose control of him, possibly sending him toward the baby. This brought terror to Charlie's heart.

"Sorry," Edward apologized meekly; Charlie grinned, accepting his apology. Edward turned back to the big pink ball with wisps of brown hair. "What is it?" he asked for the gender.

"A girl," Charlie answered.

"Oh." Edward nodded briefly while looking at Charlie then turned back to Isabella. "She smells nice," commented after her natural baby smell reached his nostrils. Itt made him want to reach down and smell her more. "What's her name?" he asked, whispering, staring at her with utter fascination.

"Isabella Marie." Charlie grinned for what felt like the millionth time in the last ten hours.

"That's a long name," Edward noted, scrunching his name thinking about it.

"You don't like it?" Charlie felt himself get wrapped up in Edward's conversation.

"I like it, it's just long." He scowled again, his little eyebrows furrowed in disappointment and deep thought.

"Oh, really, what do you suggest then?"

"How about just calling her Marie?" Renee asked from the bed; Charlie looked at her questioningly.

"No," Edward mused, thinking hard, his little eyebrows furrowing in thought. "I like Isabella," he thought harder not finding a good solution to his problem though.

"How about Isa?" Emmett asked, trying to be part of the conversation."

Edward turned to him from Charlie's hip, scowling more. "No."

"You don't have any suggestions, sweetie?" Esme sat down in the lone chair by Renee.

Edward thought about it for another second and suddenly grinned. "How about Bella?"

Charlie grinned, thinking about it himself. "Sure, I like that." Edward smiled broadly. Charlie noted Edward's eyes sparkled when he smiled this widely. The new dad found himself wishing for _Bella_ to smile just as brilliantly.

Just then, Renee's gynecologist walked in. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Cullen, but only two people can be in the room at once. I'm going to have to ask you to leave." His voice cracked at the end; telling your boss' family to get out must have been nerve-wracking. "And I need to give Mrs. Swan a quick checkup," he added as an afterthought.

"I understand, Neil, don't worry," Esme said. Charlie put Edward down feeling a slight sense of loss. "Do you mind if we take two quick photos? I want to remember today." Esme turned to Renee. "Please?"

Dr. Crowley nodded, possibly because he didn't want to say no to the First Lady of Medicine as she was dubbed around Forks Hospital.

Renee glanced at Charlie who shrugged. "Why not?"

"All right." Renee smiled, Charlie took Bella and handed her to Renee, who still looked afraid of her baby.

"Is it okay if you take the photo, Neil?" Esme offered the Polaroid camera to Dr. Crowley, who took it willingly. "Edward, you go to Renee's side; Emmett, stand next to Charlie," Esme instructed everyone like she was professional photographer. She took her own place behind Edward, standing beside Renee. "I want two photos, Neil." The good doctor nodded, positioning the camera behind his face.

"Say cheese!"

"Cheeeseee!" everyone said in unison. The bright glare of the flash going off took everyone by surprise, even though they expected it, but soon recovered for the second photo.

After they developed both Polaroids, Esme looked to Neil, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "I'm sorry, how about two more?"

"Mrs. Cullen," he protested, but she wouldn't have any of it.

"Come on, honey. It'll only take two seconds."

Neil bit his lips in thought, an obvious internal fight going on in his head. "All right but that's it, Mrs. Cullen. I insist."

"Thank you." Esme beamed and turned to the Swans who weren't surprised at her sweet talk. "How about just the children?"

"Sure." Charlie bolted from the shot; Esme assumed this would offend Charlie, but he'd always hated taking photos. He didn't like attention and attention didn't like him.

"Why don't you stay in the shot, Esme; I mean, you're carrying a child, and even though you're pregnant, it could also serve as a memory of your pregnancy with baby girl Cullen," Renee offered. Esme thought about it for a moment, but didn't agree, claiming it would be unfair to Charlie, who had been the only one to step away.

"Oh no, Esme, don't exclude yourself on my account; I really don't mind." Esme looked at Charlie to make sure it was alright, and after a moment of searching, she decided to do as Renee asked.

"Mommy, I'm hungry!" Emmett stomped his foot impatiently. "Can we go to the diner and get double cheeseburgers?"

"Honey, we're almost done. I'm sure you can wait a few minutes. Besides, a double cheeseburger is way too much for someone your age, and you know your father doesn't like you eating fast food."

"I want some apple pie, Mommy!" Edward was not to be forgotten or ignored.

Their mother pursed her lips and looked at both of them with a stern eye. "Take these two photos and we'll see."

"Yay! I want a large chocolate milkshake!" Emmett said, jumping up and down in excitement. Charlie couldn't help but smile at the kids' excitement.

"I want the red toy car! It's the only one I'm missing from the collection!" Edward followed suit.

"Mrs. Cullen, I really must get going... I have to check up on other patients as well as Mrs. Swan," Dr. Crowley said, nervously looking at the door as if expecting an angry mob of sick patients and their IVs to come busting in.

"Okay okay." Esme glanced at him and turned to her boys. "Photo. Now," Esme ordered, and the boys quickly took their places again. She stood by Emmett this time. "Say cheese!"

"Okay, here goes one," Charlie said as the camera spit out another Polaroid, after Neil handed him the camera.

"Cheese!" Renee, Esme and the boys sang happily.

After writing a quick caption and dating them, Esme handed Charlie two of each as mementos of Bella's birth. They left soon after, allowing a relieved Dr. Crowley to examine Renee.

Mrs. Gunderson came in and took the baby back to the small nursery. Feeling awkward and embarrassed, Charlie went with her. "So you decided on a name?" she asked. Charlie laughed, knowing this was going to be a popular question.

But instead of feeling annoyed, he swelled up with pride, more so than before. "Her name is Isabella Marie Swan, but you can call her Bella."

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**The balloon thing? Yeah it happened to me when I went to see my little sister at the hospital when she was born. My punishment? I wasn't allowed to carry her. Like my parents would ever let a five year old carry a newborn, but hey I didn't know any better lol. Since then I hold balloons tightly at the hospital~ I.E.**


	2. Bella

**My mind is fertile with ideas for this story and after seeing the stream of alerts for you lovely people I decided to belt this out in couple hours to thank you for your support!**

**Every chapter will be a stage in life that's why the chapters will be more than 4k words. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it! I have so many ideas I have to stop and jot them down in fear of losing them!**

**To make things clear:**

**Emmett: born 1981**

**Edward and Jasper: born 1984**

**Rosalie, Bella, Alice: born 1986****; the girls are a little older than I so I'm excited to relive my childhood memories XD**

**Finally, the language will be that of an adult since it's in past tense, the way I imagine it is which ever character being featured is thinking back to whatever point in their history together. So yes, an eight year old is going to use the word 'subconscious' :)**

**P.S. this is dedicated to twilight-saga-lover95, Marie One and to the Guest who were the first to review. Thank you also to those who alerted the story. You guys rock!**

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Ricky Martin- _Bella_

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**BPOV**

_1994._

I ran down the staircase as fast as I could go screaming at the top of my lungs as I heard his laughter somewhere behind me, mocking me. I subconsciously grabbed on to the marble rail feeling the cool stone on my hot hand remembering that I could easy trip over my chubby feet and die as I rolled to the bottom of the grand staircase.

I reached the flat surface of the main floor and bolted through the huge entryway and foyer reaching the cast iron and glass doors. "Bell-I mean Izzy?" the shocked voice of his mom came from my left, I didn't wait and ran out of the house. The bright sunshine hurt my eyes since I'd spent the morning in the dark attic. I felt the smooth gravel and dry oak leaves crunch under my weight, "Izzy!" his mom ran after me reaching me and grabbing me around my waist and lifting me up. I screamed louder, feeling the tears and snot coming out of my nose. I could make out the huge stone fountain a few feet away from me and wondered if I could manage to make her fall in it.

I fought against her thinking she would force back in there, back to _him. _"Daddy!" I called out for my dad even though I knew he couldn't hear me, he was at the station on the other side of town, "Daddy!"

"Bella please baby what's the matter?" She was trying to sooth me, she was stronger and bigger than me but I fought her like my life depended on it.

"She's acting Mom." I heard his stupid voice somewhere by the door at the same time I heard Alice's quiet sobs. Alice was upset, this made me sad because I didn't want her to cry too. I stopped thrashing and let her mom put me down but she kept her hands on my shoulders.

"Shush Edward. Bell-" She glanced at him but came back to me with warm eyes she bent at the waist to meet my eyes.

"Izzy." I gritted my teeth, wishing he wasn't here. _He's making me cry. I hate him!_

"Izzy," she corrected, "what's wrong? Why are you crying and trying to go home?" She wiped my cheeks, pouting.

I forced myself to look at him before saying anything. He was standing by the huge doors, hair messy and shining even in the shadows of the house; fear all over his stupid pretty face. He looked at me as if trying to tell me not to tell on him. I thought about it, I wanted him to get in trouble for forcing me up the attic, for throwing the spider at me and laughing.

"Izzy?" His mom asked me while looking where I was looking, "oh." She understood he had something to do with it, "I see." She stood up completely and let me go, _uh oh_. "I don't want to force you to stay honey, but if you want me to call your mom so she can pick you up I will." She smiled at me but I knew better.

Part of me was happy he was going to get it. The other side was afraid of what he might do after.

"She doesn't want to go!" Alice ran down the stone steps of her house and ran to me carrying her pink stuffed cat, she reached me and held my hand trying to pull me to the house. I planted my feet not wanting to go back in there for new and scarier reasons than before.

I could feel his angry eyes on me.

"I want to go home." I tried pulling my hand from Alice's grip but she was stronger than me, I guessed everyone was.

"You do?" She let me go, eyes watering.

"Yes." I didn't want to leave Alice, before he came to her room we'd been playing tea party and eating frosted cookies her mom had baked us. The vanilla and blueberry frosting were my favorite.

"B-but I don't want you to leave, we were having so much fun!" She stomped her foot as tears fell down her cheeks.

"Alice, I think Be-Izzy wants to leave, we can't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do." Her mom told her, Alice kept her eyes on me as she began crying. She ran back to her house pushing him out of the way, "this is your fault, stupid!" Her older brother Emmett stood on the other side of the door looking sad.

I liked Emmett, he would share his cookies with me whenever he saw me. Something that made Edward angry so Emmett always gave them to me in secret.

He looked at her surprised but didn't say anything, "Alice!" Her mom yelled angrily. She turned back to me exasperated, "come on honey. I'll call your mom inside." She took my hand and just like Alice tried taking me inside. I pulled away, "I promise." She told me.

I looked at her face to see if she was going to lie just like him, when I didn't see the same look of mischief I extended my hand making her smile. I didn't dare look at him as we passed him at the door.

"Inside Edward." She told him. "Izzy go upstairs with Alice, maybe she'll calm down while we wait for your mom hmm?"

"Ok." I responded feeling his eyes on my back again. I ran up the staircase grabbing on to the rail again and not looking back.

~.~.~.

"So," he had me cornered in the playground of our school. It was recess and all the teachers were huddled together drinking coffee and chatting instead of watching us kids like they should have. Alice had stayed home because she had the chickenpox. "Mommy took away my toy cars and_ brand new_ GameBoy because of _you_." He sneered. I stood against the metal interwoven gate and him not daring to move.

"I didn't do anything." I tried sounding tough but he just grinned even more, his eyes were shining with unspoken mischief.

"Yes you did. Mommy said I made you cry and want to run away to your house." I bit my lip looking around the playground, the other kids were running around laughing at their games, none of them saw that he had me cornered.

"I did not." Was my feeble defense. I looked at the ground not knowing what to do and praying Daddy would come out of nowhere and take me away from him.

"Did too, and now you have to pay."

I looked up at him, terrified that he wanted me to give him my allowance. I wanted the new Barbie Chocolate Shoppe that served real hot chocolate for my eighth birthday next week.

"I won't give you my money!" I yelled trying to push him off but I failed.

"Come on Bella," I seethed at the name but he ignored me, "I don't need your money." _He was so arrogant_. "But you do have to give me your new Crayola set." I gasped, Daddy had given me that set because I'd tripped and fell on it when I was running up to Mom to show it to her.

_"Oh Bella they're crushed." She groaned as she picked up the bigger pieces, "we're going to have to put you on another diet."_

"B-but-"

"No buts Bella, hand it over after school." He turned to leave but before he did he looked back at me, "you better not tell anyone I told you to give them to me. Say you lost them or something." He ran off towards the monkey bars where his other fifth grade friends were.

I felt fresh tears run down my cheeks and an invisible ball grow in my throat, _no! Don't cry!_ I told myself and before I could truly cry I ran for the girls' bathroom where I did cry. A lot.

After blowing my nose and hearing the bell ring for class I heard a knock on the bathroom stall. I opened it tentatively and saw Rosalie Hale stand in front of me, hand on her hip. She was wearing a Lisa Simpson shirt and red shorts with the Barbie sneakers I wanted too. "I saw what happened." Rosalie and I were in the same class but we weren't friends. I spoke to her only when I asked her to pass the pencils or glue in class but we never spoke besides that.

"Huh?"

"Edward was bullying you wasn't he?" I stared at her afraid that if I said yes he would come after me even worse.

"No he wasn't." I didn't know why I was so afraid of ratting him out, I'd done nothing wrong but I didn't know any better.

"Yes he was."

"Nuh uh." I was getting angry that she didn't believe me.

"Uh huh." She shook her head, her pale blue eyes on me. _Gosh she's so pretty, unlike me. I wish I had straight blonde hair like her. _I looked at her skinny body, _I bet her mom doesn't put her on stupid diets and let's her eat all the pie she wants._

"Well it's true!" I pouted stomping my foot.

"Girls," Miss Steven came into the bathroom. I didn't like Miss Steven, she was the mean fifth grade teacher who made her students run every Friday for half an hour instead of playing hide and seek during P.E. "It's time to go to class. Didn't you hear the bell?"

Kids were running behind her towards their classrooms, "we're coming." Rosalie said, "we just need to wash our hands."

"Ok but hurry otherwise Miss Johnson is going to have to mark you tardy." She told us before going after Jamie Lewis pushed Ronnie Harkin out of the way. "Jamie do not push! I'm going to give you detention if I see you do that again, understand?!"

"Come on," Rosalie told me, pointing to the sinks, "we'll be late for art hour."

"Ok." I washed my hands and ran to class trying to avoid Rosalie.

"Hey!" She ran after me holding on to my ponytail.

"Ow!"

She let go, "sorry I didn't mean to pull so hard." I scowled at her, why was she talking to me anyway? No one ever spoke to me other than Alice and that's just because her mom babysat me once in a while when my mom had her really bad headaches. "Tell on him."

"On who?" I faked.

"On Edward." She looked at me like I was stupid. Maybe I was because I knew she was right but was too afraid to do anything.

"He didn't do anything."

She shook her head, "you're lying but if you don't want to tell then fine." She huffed and ran off to sit with her Victoria and Angela. I didn't really know Victoria since she was new to school and Angela was nice. She said hi to me every time we saw each other and would share her sandwiches when she had extra. I liked her mom's sandwiches too.

My mom really didn't cook and Daddy didn't either so he would by me store-bought food. He didn't believe in the school's cafeteria food. I liked Lunchables and for dessert Daddy bought me Snowballs or Twinkies. I liked Twinkies.

Thinking about all that food made me hungry and I wished time would go faster so we can go to lunch.

~.~.~.

"Bella," Mike walked past me with his lunch tray. Tyler and Eric were right behind him, "isn't that like your third sandwich?"

I looked up in the middle of chewing on one of the sandwiches Angela had given me, this was roast beef and it tasted awesome, "it's Izzy." I swallowed, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. The boys grimaced.

"Whatever." Mike said rolling his eyes, "you should eat slowly, didn't your mom teach you how to eat?" I looked at my tray biting my lip and feeling shame and embarrassment.

"Shut up Mike." Rosalie said sitting in the next table beside me, Angela and Victoria sat with her. I sat alone at my table closest to the door.

"Oooohhh Rosalie said a bad word!" Tyler and Eric said gleefully. I heard Rosalie's chair scratch the floor as she got up, _oh god no, don't say anything and sit down!_

"Leave Be-Izzy alone." She told them standing up to Mike, her self-correction didn't go unnoticed.

"Whatever." Mike said again walking away, "let her eat like pig if she wants." I swallowed hard and for the second time in the day I wanted to cry.

"Hey." I shut my eyes so hard it hurt. _Please no, just no, help me god please._ I didn't look up because I knew more insults were coming and I knew they would be worse than Mike's.

"Yeah?" Mike answered, _huh? He was talking to Mike?_

"Don't talk to her like that." My head snapped to look at him. He stood holding his own tray in his hands. Mike looked back to me a little shocked but didn't say anything. Turning back to him he said, "you talk to her like that too." He accused.

"Yeah so?" He cocked his neck to the side.

"Why can't I?"

"Because you're not me." He lifted his chin high, his arrogance was back.

"Whatever." Was all Mike could say. He turned away and walked to the other side of the cafeteria. Everyone had stopped their chatter and had stared at the boys. As if someone had turned off a switch the kids were back to eating and talking as soon as Mike walked away.

I looked at him trying hard to read his face but he just sent me a cold stare and stalked off to his usual table at the head of the room where all the popular kids sat. I knew they'd asked Rosalie to sit over there but she had said no and now she sat in the table next to me. How she could reject their acceptance baffled me. How could she not want to sit by all the cool kids and be talked to instead of eating next to a loser like me?

"Hey Bella," I winced at the name but turned to Victoria, "you ok?"

"It's Izzy and yeah I'm fine."

"Why don't you like 'Bella' anymore?" Rosalie asked taking a bite from her sloppy joe. "We've always called you 'Bella' and you didn't mind then."

I scowled thinking back to last summer.

Alice's mom was babysitting me again and when Alice asked her to show her the old photo albums, "ok," her mom said taking out a cool black leather book. "Call your brothers and tell them to come down so they could see them too."

"Ok!" Alice ran up as I looked at the floor wishing they not come down. I didn't want to see him.

"Mom," Emmett whined, "we were playing with Edward's Hot Wheels and I was winning!"

"No you weren't! I was this close to beating you!" Edward shoved his thumb and index finger in Emmett's face.

"That's not true!"

"Boys!" Their mom said angrily.

"Sorry." The apologized looking down, their mom told them to take a seat beside me and Alice so we could see the photo album together. I looked at Emmett wanting him to read my mind and sit next to me like I wanted but Edward grinned once he saw me on his mom's right side and plopped himself down next to me. "I didn't know Bella was here."

"That's because you've been holed up in your room,"

"Let's see the photos!" Alice said impatiently, she pushed her dark brown hair away from her face and looked at the book on her mom's lap expectantly. Emmett sat beside her.

"Alright, alright," her mom laughed. She described all the photos, telling them about each person and how they were related. Edward would pull on my hair every time I got in his way, "come on Bella you're blocking the view."

"Sorry." I would whisper, wincing at his slight tugging. We got to the end of the book and their mom gasped brightly.

"Oh gosh I forgot we took these!"

"Is that you Mommy? And Edward and Emmett too?" Alice asked pointing to one of the similar photos. I looked closer when I realized Daddy and Mommy were in them.

"Yes it is," her mom grinned turning to me, "do you know what day this was Bella?"

"No." I looked at Daddy, he looked really young and Mommy too.

"This was the day you were born!" She clapped watching me intently.

"Really?" I looked back at the photos and looked for myself, when I didn't see myself in them I looked back to her thinking she lied. "Where am I?"

"Right here," she pointed to Mommy's hands that were covered in a white blanket with a little face peeking out. I stared at the baby looking for my face in it but it wasn't really clear. "You were a couple of hours born." She explained.

"I remember those balloons!" Emmett yelled pointing to two pink and white balloons.

"I bet you do," his mom said laughing, "you and Edward let go of two others in the hall and they exploded in hall from the bright lights of the hospital." Emmett looked at the ceiling as if trying to remember.

"Oh yeah! I remember that day! Daddy was really mad at us!" He looked to Edward, "he took away your car collection and my rock collection for a week because we let them go and started fighting in the hall! Don't you remember?"

I didn't turn around to look at Edward, instead I looked at his younger self, he was sitting next to Mommy grinning at the camera. _He's not supposed to be so close to Mommy, I don't want him close to anything that's mine._

"No I don't." He sounded disappointed.

"You were probably too young." His mom said taking one of the photos and reading the back, she showed it to me as she read it out loud. In fancy black ink it said, "Bella's birth-the Cullens and Swans 1986."

"Where am I Mommy?" Alice pouted looking at the one that was still in the album, Daddy wasn't in this one.

"I was pregnant with you, honey." Her mom's voice caught a little, "you would be born five weeks later."

"Oh." It was Alice's turn to sound disappointed.

"Edward," his mom said, "you might not remember the balloons exploding but do you remember giving Bella her nickname?" The four of us looked at her at the same time.

"What do you mean Mommy?" Alice asked.

"Charlie- your daddy-" she told me, "had just told us your name was Isabella Marie and Edward," she looked at Edward, once again I didn't turn around to see his face, "thought it was too long. After debating a little you decided on the nickname 'Bella'." My mouth dropped. _No!_

"Seriously Mommy?" Alice looked at us smiling widely. I stared at her mom eyes wide and mouth open.

"Yes." Her mom nodded.

"I don't remember that," Edward said, humor clear in his voice. "But that's really cool!" He pulled on my ponytail again making me look at him. I glowered meeting his bright face, "I named you."

"Did not." I said defiantly, "my parents named me."

Edward shook his head laughing, "but everyone calls you Bella because of _me_." He pointed to himself proudly. Bella clenched her fists scowling deeper than before.

"Not true."

"True." He laughed rolling his eyes, "you can deny it all you want, but the truth is the truth." He turned to leave the living room, "I'm going to get some milk."

Since then I'd decided to change my nickname, after writing down different nicknames using my full name I'd decided on 'Izzy.' It had nothing to do with _Bella_.

"Because," Bella came back from her thoughts, "I've never liked that name," I lied; I'd always liked my nickname even though I wasn't beautiful at all.

"So now you're 'Izzy'?" Victoria asked sipping on her apple juice.

"Yup." I said putting my trash together, "Izzy, not Bella. Izzy." I slung my _Lion King_ backpack, "thanks Angie for the sandwiches."

"No problem... Izzy." She smiled and I returned it.

I threw away my trash in the bin and made my way to the girls' bathroom. The rest of lunch hour in the handicap stall sitting on a towel I brought from home waiting for the bell to ring.

I did this at recess too but Edward had cornered me before I had a chance to run to the bathroom and hide.

I didn't hide because of him, I hid because I didn't have any friends and no one wanted to be friends with me. I counted the tiles studying my times tables and counting the drips on one of the sinks that had never worked properly.

Every day I sat there after eating lunch, waiting and praying people will one day accept me. I thought back to Mike in the cafeteria, putting my face in my hands I quietly cried asking the heavens above why I was so awkward and weird.

~.~.~.

_1996._

I woke up on a Sunday morning, it was a week before Halloween and realizing this after gaining consciousness I threw the blankets over my head. _I don't want to dress up!_ I could hear the light patter of rain drops hitting the roof and windowsill.

"Bella honey?" My dad knocked on my door, I groaned hating that stupid nickname. I'd tried to wipe it clean but no one had caught on to Izzy. I'd bitterly given up on trying to change everyone's mind.

"Yes?"

"Come down to breakfast, I brought breakfast from Johnnie's!"

"Ok!" I thought about Johnnie's House homestyle pancakes, crispy hashbrowns and amazing sunny side up eggs. My mouth watered, I got up, dressed and walked down to the kitchen to find my parents sitting around the tiny kitchen table. Dad was in his Forks Police Department uniform reading the newspaper while sipping a cup of coffee. My mother was rinsing some glasses at the sink. "Morning." I kissed Dad hello who returned my greeting grinning from ear to ear, my mother mumbled a hello not turning around.

I took my seat across Dad who put his paper down, "how did you sleep kiddo?"

"Well." I smiled serving myself some fluffy pancakes, he passed me the maple syrup. I looked at the label a little surprised. "Ooooh authentic Canadian maple syrup." I looked up at my Dad, he laughed at my surprise.

"It's not that hard to come by honey. We live in Washington after all."

"True but Mom likes to buy the imitation syrup to save money." I looked to my mom who was still rinsing her glasses, _I would have thought she'd be done by now._

Turning abruptly, she looked at me intensely shocking me a little. Her face suddenly softened and walked to the table leaving behind her glasses, "just two Bella. You haven't been following your diet." I rolled my eyes.

"Let her be Renee, she's a healthy growing girl." Dad responded going back to his paper.

"Yeah well, she's growing around the sides not the ends like all the other girls." She snapped at him, I looked down at my plate suddenly loosing my appetite "I was reading a magazine and they said by the rate we're going, the U.S. is going to be the fattest country in the world! I don't want my daughter to be part of that statistic."

"Renee," Dad began, his voice was hard and angry.

I bit my lip trying to ignore the sting, I didn't want another argument centering around my weight so I put on a huge smile, "it's ok Dad. She's right, I've been slacking on my diet." I turned to Mom who's eyebrows shot up, "I'll make myself an egg white omelet with spinach if we have it." I got up and went through the cupboards, "I think I still have that old recipe book you gave me for my birthday."

"Wait," Dad put the paper down one more time but this time he stood up, my mom looked around nervously. "You gave her a_ recipe book _for her birthday? What happened to her Barbie doll house?"

Oh no. I'd forgotten Dad wan't supposed to know about the book.

Last year in school we'd started a small Home Ec. club supervised by Miss Johnson my third grade teacher. I'd found out I had a small talent for cooking and when I mentioned it to my mom she'd asked me to whip up the nachos we'd made that day at club. She supervised the cheese melting in the stove and my handiwork with the knife. She'd loved the end result so much she asked me to cook slightly harder harder recipes and asking me to tell Dad she'd been the one to cook them.

Dad had gotten sick of buying take out for breakfast, lunch and dinner and had asked Mom to start taking cooking classes. "We're throwing money away Renee. I'm not one to believe the woman belongs in the kitchen but since you didn't decide to go back to school I think you should at least cook your daughter's meals."

"I wonder why I didn't go back to school Charlie!" She yelled back, I ran up to my room and locked myself in my room. I felt hungry up there so I ate my Snickers and snowballs afraid to go downstairs.

Food made me forget my problems. It didn't judge me or make fun of me.

I stood against the pantry watching them argue over my slip up. Mom sent me an angry look, I looked at the floor not knowing what to do and hoping she didn't hate me.

"Renee, you gave her a recipe book, why?"

"She has a natural talent in the kitchen, I wanted to train her maybe she could be a famous TV chef when she grows up." She responded all in one breath, Dad went from looking surprised to furious all in a second.

"You're kidding right?"

"No Charlie I'm serious-"

"You were passing your daughter's cooking for yours!" He yelled, I turned my head feeling the familiar frog in my throat. "I can't believe this!" He turned to me, eyes flashing scaring me a little, "Bella," his eyes melted but soon went back to fire when he turned to Mom again. "You made her get up before me to cook breakfast didn't you?"

"No," she said shaking her hands in front of her, "she would cook breakfast with dinner. I would freeze breakfast and warm it up the next day."

"And you think that makes it any better?" He laughed mirthlessly.

"I made sure she didn't hurt herself."

"I could have you arrested Renee, that's child endangerment." He flung his hand pointing in the direction of the station on the south side of town.

"Charlie nothing happened, she has a natural talent," She answered back, insulted.

"I don't give a fuck," I gasped it had been the first time he'd ever cursed in front of me, "instead of taking it upon yourself to learn for your daughter you gave her the responsibility to feed us?!"

"Stop!" I yelled, feeling the tears down my eyes. "Please, no more fighting!" They turned to me speechless. "Please." I whispered, hating the attention they were giving me.

"Bella, go get ready. Mrs. Cullen is taking you shopping for a costume since your mother isn't up for it," he threw my mom a dirty look. She said nothing turning her face. "She'll be here soon. Go."

"Yes sir." I ran upstairs, relieved I didn't have to watch them fight anymore.

I took off mynYellow Power Ranger pajamas and put on some black jeans, plain black shirt and dark blue hoodie covering my body completely. I put my hair in it's typical ponytail and waited for Mrs. Cullen to arrive, I ate some of my candy stash to fill my stomach. It had been complaining since I hadn't had a bite of breakfast.

I heard the familiar honk of Mrs. Cullen's Chevrolet Blazer and ran downstairs, Dad was waiting for me at the end of the staircase, Mom was outside saying hello to Mrs. Cullen. "Honey I'm sorry for what happened earlier." I smiled, "I know Dad don't worry."

"I don't want you to cook for us anymore. You're too young to be around the kitchen, if you do have a talent like your mother says," he the last part darkly, "then we'll delve into that when you're old enough ok?"

"What's 'delve' Dad?"

He smiled, "hmm... in this instance it means 'explore' or 'look into'." I smiled, I loved learning new words and trying to use them in sentences correctly. "Come on Mrs. Cullen is waiting." He kissed the top of my head.

"Ok." I ran out noticing it wasn't raining anymore, I stopped when Mom gave me an angry look, she was still mad I had told Dad about our secret. I looked at the floor stopping in my tracks.

"Morning Bella! Or should I call you Izzy?" Mrs. Cullen always asked me this every time she saw me, she said she didn't want to upset me so she always asked before anything else.

"It doesn't matter." I whispered.

"Come say bye Bella." Mom said stiffly. I dragged my feet and let her hug me. "Pick a costume that doesn't show your stomach." She whispered as she hugged me. I nodded and starting to make my way around the Blazer.

"Over here Bella." I head Edward call out as he opened the door, "the other side is taken."

"Hey Bella!" Alice said waving at me, she was sitting on the other side of Alice. I gave her a small smile and forced myself to not scowl at the though of sitting next to Edward. He grinned arrogantly as I climbed into the SUV.

"Nice hoodie." He smirked, eyes flashing like they always did whenever he saw me. His hair was messy and he wore a Red Power Ranger sweater. I looked down at my plain blue hoodie realizing he was making fun of me. I rolled my eyes buckling my seat belt.

"Thanks."

"Hey Bella." Emmett greeted me from the front passenger seat, I grinned.

"Hey Emmett." I turned to Edward who had his lips pursed and glaring at me. _What did I do now?_

"I want to sit by Bella!" Alice said as her mom said good bye to mine and began pulling out of my drive way.

"Too bad I called dibs on the the left side," Edward answered annoyed, "I always get left side."

"You suck Edward."

"Kids," Mrs. Cullen warned looking at them through the rear view mirror.

"Sorry Mom." They said together not sounding sorry at all. I looked out my window watching a few raindrops hitting my window, this was going to be a long day.

"Hey," He tugged at my hair, I turned to Edward sighing heavily.

"What?" I whispered, annoyed.

"You'll always be Bella." He ordered me. I rolled my eyes again turning back to the window. He didn't know I'd given up trying to change that stupid name.

_Whatever._

* * *

**Yellow Power Ranger for the win! RIP to the original actress, she passed away eleven years ago in a car crash; when I found out I cried because she'd been my favorite growing up.**

**Also, the title of the chapter is the Spanish version of Ricky Martin's "She's All I Ever Had."**

**Go to my blog to check out the houses and bedrooms! .com.**


	3. A Kiss with a Fist

**You guys are awesome! Thanks for all of the love!**

**The first stages of Bella's life are pretty bleak but things will soon start changing as she becomes a teenager.**

**P.S. ignore my grammar mistakes. I'm currently rushing out of my house but wanted to post this asap. Once I have time I'll come back and edit the piece.**

* * *

Florence + The Machine- _A Kiss with a Fist_

* * *

_1998._

"Bella," my mom called me from the living room, I had just finished doing my math homework and had decided on a snack when I heard her calling my name.

"Yeah Mom?" I made my way from the hallway connecting the kitchen and foyer to the small living room where she was laying on the big couch.

"Could you run to the store and get me some Tylenol?" She had her arm flung on her forehead not bothering to look at me, "I have a splitting headache."

"Yeah sure. Can I have some money to buy it with?"

"Don't you have some money saved up from your allowance?" She lifted her head sounding angry.

"I do but-"

"Just use that, I'll reimburse you when your dad gets home." She told me. I pouted because I knew she wouldn't give me back the used money. She always promised but never went through with it. This hadn't been the first time she asked me to take my allowance out for things she needed. I sighed thinking that I was never going to get my Tomagotchi like everyone else at school.

Alice had already gone through five effectively killing all of them, "I feed them, tell them to go to sleep, give them attention and they still _die_!"

Everyone in Forks currently had one or did have one, Angela and I were the only ones that didn't. Angela's father was the town's pastor and he believed that taking care of a digital thing as if it was a real human being was blasphemous and didn't allow Angela and her siblings to partake in the fad.

Which meant that I was yet again the town loser.

I didn't want to ask Dad to get me one because I wanted to prove to him that I could be responsible with my money, but Mom needed the medicine more than I needed the toy. "I'll be right back!" I told her after a ten from my allowance. I wrapped a scarf I'd knitted last winter around me and put on my coat.

"Alright, be careful!" She answered back from the couch.

I walked into the chilly Sunday evening and made my way to the center of town, _yay, it's not raining_. People greeted me on the street and I answered back awkwardly, I hated attention and I only knew them by name.

I got to the end of Main and Lafayette right before reaching the drugstore when I heard snickering. I turned around to see Tanya Delani with her half sister Kate and cousin Irina. Tanya and Irina whispered and pointed at me. I turned around, taking a deep breath and kept walking. The Delanis had moved to Forks from Alaska eight months before and had made themselves at home.

Tanya was the ringleader and always giggled and pointed at me when she saw me, Irina followed suit but Kate never joined in their teasing. She always looked away when I caught her eye or she would scowl at her family. I was thankful she didn't join in but I still didn't feel any camaraderie towards her.

The only thing I knew of Tanya besides the fact that she was Edward's age was that she was popular and Alice said she wanted to be Edward's girlfriend. I shivered in disgust at the though of kissing a boy let alone being kissed by Edward. _Eww._

I opened the door to Donahue's Drugstore and went for the OTC medicine on the fourth aisle. "Evening Bella." The old man sat behind the counter, he had white hair all over the side of his head except the top of it showing a shiny scalp and wore black rectangular glasses, reading _The New York Times_.

"Hey Mr. Donahue." I answered feebly walking down the aisle searching for the red box. When I got it I went up to the counter and paid, "take care Bella. Does your Daddy know you're here so late?" I glanced at the big plain circular clock on the wall behind Mr. Donahue, _it looks like the clocks at school. _It was just past seven forty.

"Mom asked to come pick this up for her, she's not feeling well." I answered behind my big blue scarf digging my hands into the pockets of my thick coat.

"Oh I see. You're mom's always sick isn't she?" He rang me up, "that'll be $5.76." I didn't know what to say so I just gave him the money. Once he gave me back my change I took my medicine and made my way out. "I see Emmett Cullen outside by Johnnie's." Mr. Donahue said glancing out of his window, I turned to Johnnie's and sure enough Emmett was leaning on the side of a blue convertible It looked like one of those cars you saw in old movies. "I know your families are old friends, why don't you ask him to drop you off? I'm sure he'll say yes." I turned to Mr. Donahue who smiled kindly at me. I nodded and left the store.

I didn't want to bother Emmett but knowing Mr. Donahue was watching me from his seat I knew I had to, I made sure no cars were coming before jaywalking across the street to where he was.

"Hey Emmett." I greeted shyly.

He looked up at the sound of his name looking around briefly, when his eyes found mine he gave me a wide smile, "Bella Ella." He'd begun to call me that since he found out I wasn't fond of 'Bella'. "What are you doing out so late?"

"I came to pick up some Tylenol for Mom." I pointed behind me holding up the medicine with my other hand; he nodded in understanding. "Would it be too much to ask if I asked you to drop me off?" I blushed looking at my beat up sneakers.

"No not at all. I was just waiting for someone..." He looked around the street but then turned back to me, "I guess they're not coming," _did he sound upset?_ "Get in Grasshopper." I laughed at his horrible imitation of the grandpa in _Karate Kid_.

I got on the passenger seat and buckled my seat belt. He did the same in his seat and started the car, "how's it going Bella Ella? I haven't seen you in a while."

"I'm doing ok," I blushed at his interest, I wasn't used to anyone caring about me except for my dad. "I got an A in my English paper." I boasted.

"Ooohh really?" He sounded impressed, he turned the corner to Maple Avenue. "What was it about?"

"The Revolutionary War."

"Isn't that History though?" He asked confused.

"Yeah but it was a freestyle paper. We could write on anything we wanted and I chose the Revolutionary War because Daddy showed me a really cool book on it."

"Oh I see. Do you know what Alice wrote hers on?"

"I think she did it on the history of dresses but I'm not sure." I blushed thinking he would find it annoying that I didn't know. He laughed though, I looked at him wondering if he was laughing at me.

"Leave it to Alice to write a freestyle paper on dresses."

"She likes dressing up." I wanted to say something more interesting but couldn't think of anything. "Is it true you're going to college this year?"

Emmett grinned, "yeah I'm going to the Woodbury University to study architecture."

"Ooh sounds fancy."

"It is. It's a small private university in Burbank, California but it's considered one of the best for that field." I nodded, understanding. Emmett drove on to Tulip Drive, my street, I noticed Rosalie was playing outside with one of my neighbors. I didn't know the girl but she looked familiar.

"Hey Bella!" She waved at me when she noticed Emmett driving by. I smiled and waved weakly. I could see her trying to see who was driving through the bright lights of the street lamp. I guess she recognized Emmett because her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Is that your friend?" Emmett asked eyes on the road looking for my driveway.

"She's a girl from school." _Not my friend_. We reached my driveway and he parked the car. I didn't see the cruiser so I guessed Daddy wasn't home yet.

Emmett glanced at me quizzically, I smiled and opened the door. "Thanks for dropping me off," I closed the door and waved. "Say hi to your mom for me!" He nodded and pulled out as soon as I closed the door behind me.

"Who was that Bella?" Mom walked into the foyer looking sick and her eyes tired, "it was Emmett Cullen. He was in town and I asked him to drop me off." I took off my coat and hung it in the hallway closet.

"Oh." She smiled, "did you bring me the Tylenol?"

"Yes." I unwrapped my scarf as I handed her the red box with my other hand.

"Ok great." She took it and went to the kitchen for some water, I followed her. Feeling a little hungry I went for the fridge only to be stopped by her. "No Bella you ate dinner two hours ago."

"But I want a snack."

"No you ate already." She shook her head sounding angry. Ever since Daddy found out I used to cook our meals, Mom tried learning to cook, she didn't catch the hang of it- giving us food poisoning on three occasions- so we went back to fast food. Tonight we'd had Chinese food and I was craving cold low mein.

"But-"

"No buts, go upstairs and finish your homework." I wanted to tell her I'd already finished it but I knew she wouldn't care so I just stalked off without a word. I plopped down on my bed reaching into the corner that hit the wall next to my pillow. I felt around all the candies finally recognizing the feeling of a Sneakers. I ate it in three bites.

~.~.~.

I was walking home from Forks Middle School when I heard the honk of a car, I turned to the street and see who it was when I noticed the familiar blue convertible. I smiled when I saw Emmett waving from the driver's seat. I waved back turning back to the street.

"Bella Ella!" He called, I turned back and realized Edward was glaring at me from the passenger's seat, _oh._ "Get over here girlie!" He waved be to them, I glanced at Edward who was still glaring at me and shook my head. "I have to get home."

"I'll drop you off again, come on!"

I bit my lip not knowing what to do, "Emmett!" I heard Alice's shriek behind me. "Oh hey Bella," she walked beside me and waved happily.

"Alice tell Bella to come over here please!" Her older brother told her; Alice turned to me questioningly as to why I wasn't accepting Emmett's request but instead of voicing her thoughts she pulled on my hand.

"No really it's ok, I can walk."

Don't be silly Bella,"

"Careful Alice!" Emmett warned, he and Edward got out the car since Alice had stepped into the street without looking at either direction.

"Don't worry I'm looking, I'm looking." She rolled her eyes as we ran across the street. I made sure to look both ways as we did this.

"Alice I owe you for taking your dessert last night," Edward grinned at Alice as he went for the back door, "take the front seat to make up for it." I blanched, I knew he was doing this to sit with me so he could continue on his life's purpose to torture me. Alice squealed but then looked at me worriedly, "I want to sit with Bella though."

"Next time," he promised grinning arrogantly. I knew he always went out of his way to sit next to me so I didn't believe his promise. Alice took my hand, I tried to kill the reflex of pulling back I always felt when people took my hand. _Except Daddy._

"You don't mind do you Bella?" She looked at me, pale green eyes big and intense.

"No." I said simply. Ever since we were kids Alice had made herself believe we were best of friends just because her mom babysat me. I liked Alice but I knew that if I allowed myself to have her as a friend she would eventually throw me away like yesterday's trash when she figured out I was a loser. My self-preservation won out on my wish to be friends with Alice Cullen.

"Ok great, in we go!" Emmett opened the door for me which I thanked him for and started buckling my seat belt. I focused my eyes on the street feeling Edward get in beside me. The hairs of my back immediately shot up preparing me for the possible teasing. "How was your day Alice?" Emmett asked his sister much like he'd asked me last time I saw him.

"It was fine, Victoria Redding and Bree Olson got into a fist fight." I remembered that.

Bree had been jealous of Victoria's brand new Tomagotchi and took it from her desk when Victoria was in the bathroom. After the teacher stopped the class and asked everyone take out everything from their desks and backpacks they found it in Bree's. Victoria flung herself on her and began pulling her hair. It was a big deal, Principal Whitlock came in after lunch and pulled them out of class. They didn't come back for the rest of the day. Jamie Harkin said he saw Vicky's parents walking up to the main office when he was on hall monitor duty.

"Really?" Emmett sounded surprised, I felt Edward's eyes on me. I turned to him and saw him grinning from ear to ear.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing." He turned to look out of the windshield, eyes dancing with what were probably evil thoughts.

Alice went on to give Emmett a stylized version of the events which he listened to intently asking questions now and then. I didn't know if Emmett truly believed "Victoria flew from the desk like a bat onto an unsuspecting Bree" or he was just playing along and humoring her. Pushing this aside I went back to watching the street, painfully aware of Edward's mind working.

We reached my house and thanking Emmett I bounced up to my door, glad nothing had happened in the trip. I saw a note taped to the door and read it.

_Bella, I went for a walk in the woods. Go to the library while I get back~ Mom._

"What is it Bella?" Alice asked from her seat, Emmett hadn't left since he'd waited to see me inside. Edward got out of the car and walked up to me taking the note from my hands. He stood taller than me surprising me a little since we'd been the same height not so long ago.

He read the note and turned back to Emmett, "her mom is out."

"Oh. And your dad?"

"He's at the station, we won't be back 'til eleven." I informed Emmett, ignoring his brother who was inches from me.

"Get in the car, we'll call him at the station when we get home." Emmett told me getting out of the car.

"But-"

"I'm not going to leave you here alone Bella." He told me, "Mom would slaughter me before Dad rips me to shreds _before _your dad shoots me with a sniper's gun." I giggled at his dramatic thoughts.

"Come on." Edward growled taking me by the upper arm and walking me to my former seat. Emmett went to open my door but Edward went for it faster, "I got it." Emmett backed off looking at him oddly as I took my seat. Edward closed the door behind me and ran around the car, throwing himself in his own seat."

"Yay! We can do our homework together and I can ask Mommy to bake us some chocolate chip cookies!" Alice jumped in her seat. I nodded thinking more of her mom's tasty cookies than the homework.

We got to the Cullens' house although it should have been called a mansion. It was situated in the northern outskirts of town and sat on a slight hill. The house was a massive two-story house that had five bedrooms, four bathrooms, state of the art kitchen and garage and a gameroom. I had mixed feeling about said house since I loved Mrs. Cullen but hated her son.

Emmett parked his car inside the garage next to his mom's Blazer which sat in between the wall and an open space. I guessed that's where Dr. Cullen- Alice's dad, parked his car.

"Come on Bella Ella, let's tell Mom about the note and call your dad." He walked to me putting his arm around my shoulders and guiding me to the door that connected to the kitchen.

"My munchkins are home!" Mrs. Cullen exclaimed when Alice ran to her hugging her from the side. Alice and Edward kissed her hello, "oh we have a guest!" She clapped her hands when I walked up to her. "Bella or Izzy?" She still asked me after so many years. I didn't mind though, I liked the fact that she cared about how I wanted to be called. I said hello to their housekeeper Eliza. I liked Eliza, she always asked me about my day when I came.

"You can call me Bella." I smiled as she kissed me hello.

"Mom I dropped her off at her house but she found this note on the door." Emmett handed her my Mom's note and she took it reading it and suddenly looking worried.

I wanted to ask her what was wrong but she instantly clapped her hands and looked around, "why don't you guys wash up and I'll make you a quick snack while I let Officer Swan know Bella's here?"

"Ok!" Alice agreed snatching my hand and taking me upstairs. "We'll be in my room!"

Alice led me up the huge marble staircase to where her room was. We walked down to the end of the fancy hallway to where I knew Alice's room was. She opened the door still pulling me and threw her Barbie backpack somewhere on the floor. "Let's play with my new stuffed animals. Daddy gave them to me after he broke my limited edition Sandy Barbie." **(did they even exist in 1998? eh go along ;])** She went into her walk in closet.

"Uh ok." I looked around her room remembering somethings but noticing new ones. Her room was as big as my kitchen and living room combined. It'd been princess themed when we were younger but now she'd changed it to lavender and dark pink. Her Barbie collection was still on shelves above her bed, _Mary Alice_ was written in fancy white paint below the Barbies but above her pink and lavender covered bed.

I looked at the carpet and instead of finding the bright pink from before to see it was now a deep purple.

"Here," she came out of her closet holding out brand new stuffed animals, it was a green giraffe, a purple elephant and a light blue zebra. They reminded me of her old pink cat she used to carry around all the time.

"Uh... ok." I took the elephant and giraffe.

We played safari while we waited for Mrs. Cullen to make us a snack, I wondered what Daddy would say when he found out Mom went out for a walk and didn't wait for me to come home.

"Hey girls!" Mrs. Cullen came in with a tray of food after a while.

"Hey Mommy." Alice got up to help her put things down.

"Bella your dad knows your here and asked me if you could stay the night. He won't be able to come pick you up since he's working a twenty-four hour shift because Chief Thomson asked him to take over for him. Is that ok with you honey?"

"What about Mom?"

Mrs. Cullen gave me a weird look and cleared her throat, "she called me earlier and told me she was too sick to come pick you up."

I looked at the floor, _why are you so surprised? It's not the first time she leaves you at the Cullens._ I ignored my thoughts and looked up smiling, "oh ok."

"Wait Bella's sleeping over?" Alice asked, eyes huge and flashing.

"Yes." Mrs. Cullen gave her a sad smile. _Why?_

"Yay!" Alice jumped around knocking over the tray, the PB&J sandwiches smearing on her white uniform shirt and apple juice drenching her face. She screamed in shock.

"Oh Alice!" Her mom said looking at the mess.

Alice looked at herself, upset. She started crying and her mom told her to take a shower and change her clothes but went to the second floor bathroom on the other side of the hall.

"Bella do you mind going to Edward's room and waiting for Alice there? I don't want to leave you here alone, you might get lonely." She told me, eyes welling up in tears. I found this odd since I didn't think the accident warranted tears from her. Alice maybe but not Mrs. Cullen.

"Uh..."' She was asking me to go into the lion's den wearing flanks of meat instead of clothes.

"Please sweetie? It's the second door to the right." She went into the closet to get Alice fresh clothes.

"Ok." I swallowed hard taking a deep breath. I went to the door she pointed to and knocked quietly as Mrs. Cullen walked past me to the bathroom. Edward didn't answer and thinking I could just wait outside he opened the door suddenly.

He looked at me eyes wide and shocked. "You mom told me to wait with you while Alice showers."

"Oh." He stared, still shocked. "Come on in." He stepped away from the door letting me see inside his room. The theme was olive green with pale gray and noticed he had a lot of car posters all over his walls. I stood grounded scared witless. "Come on Bella I'm not going to bite." He got over his surprise and was not back to his usual mischievous self.

"I don't believe you." I glared.

He laughed, "you think I'm going to bite you?"

"You did when we were at Alice's fourth birthday."

"I was six Bella. I'm fourteen now, I'm too mature for that now." He puffed out his chest importantly. I noticed he had changed his clothes from earlier. He'd been wearing a green and white plaid shirt over a white t-shirt and black jeans. Now he wore just the white shirt and basketball shorts.

"I don't believe you."

He scoffed, annoyed and roughly pulled me into his room. He closed the door behind him and walked off to his bed. I stood planted on the spot as he picked up some comics I assumed he'd been reading before I knocked. "Get over here Bella."

I looked around the room for a better look. There was a dark wood desk in front of the wide window looking out to the west side of the house. The oranges of the late sun leaked into the room through the sheer gray curtains. His room had a bathroom and what seemed a closet similar to Alice's. I looked at the carpet and noticed his was a dark green. _Kind of like his eyes._

"Bella." He called. I looked away rejecting him. I heard him get off his bed and walk up to me, "I'm not going to do _anything_ to you I promise." I didn't look at him. I didn't trust him even with my pet rock. "Fine, you asked for it."

Before I realized what he'd done I felt his hair brush my chin softly and his teeth sinking into my neck; I felt an intense jolt of electricity. I gasped pushing him off me, my hand flying to the bite mark were I felt it pulse, wet from his saliva.

He grinned as I looked at him aghast. "You didn't trust me when I told you I wouldn't do anything so I had to do something for not believing me." I turned to open the door but he was too fast for me. "Uh uh. Not yet." He said as I bounced off him. His lips curled in an evil smirk, eyes flashing evilly.

"Let me go." I croaked still feeling the bite mark pulsing.

"Not yet." He stalked me, I walked away from him. "Have you ever been kissed Bella?"

_What?_

"No." I answered, repulsed.

"Me neither." He continued to stalk me finally hit the desk with my rear. "I've seen Emmett kiss his girlfriends goodbye but I've always wondered how it would feel..."

I inhaled terrified at the thoughts I could hear running around in his head. I shook my head furiously as he looked at my mouth and back to my eyes. He licked his lips opening them slightly. My heartbeat quickened and I felt my breath hitch in my throat.

His eyes darkened and before I could push him off I saw his eyes close as he leaned in. My eyes went the widest possible feeling his lips on mine. I felt the bolt of electricity again as he pressed his face against mine, his hand ghosting my cheek.

My heart beat a steady curve in my rib cage making shut my eyes. I woke up and pushed him off punching him in the jaw. "OW!"

He screamed holding his face and stepping back almost tripping over his own two feet. Not waiting for him to recover I ran outside and out to the staircase feeling a sense that I've already done this. I grabbed on to the rail and ran into the living room knowing I couldn't leave.

"Bella?" Eliza asked passing by.

I heaved trying to calm my breathing and beating heart.

"Are you ok honey?" I saw Edward run down the stairs and stopping abruptly before taking the last ten steps. We looked at each other through the doorway. He in the staircase me in the living room. His face was flushed, eyes alert and his cheek where I'd hit him was starting to bruise.

"Yeah I'm fine." I lied not breaking eye contact with him. I knew the fear in his eyes and felt something stir inside of me.

His parents would definitely punish him for kissing and biting me and not to mention Dad would probably want to keep him away from me.

He must have seen that something in my eyes because he raised his chin trying to pull away from my stare.

"Edward do you know what happened to Bella?" Eliza asked as she noticed our staring contest.

"No." He answered, voice raspy and not like him.

"I thought I heard a ghost." I said turning to Eliza, I couldn't help but grin.

"Oh sweetheart," Eliza laughed coming to me and hugging me, "ghosts don't exist. Now get up there that Alice is out of the shower and looking for you."

"Ok." I walked to the staircase making sure I was on the other side of Edward as I slowly climbed the stairs. _Do something to me and I'll tell._ I hoped he could read my thoughts all over my face.

I guessed he could because he said nothing and looked away, blushing harder than I'd ever seen him.

_Now I have something to hold over your head._

* * *

**Hmm... wonder why Esme was acting so weird...**

**Edward's bullying is nothing compared to what some people have to endure in real life. If you or someone you know who is being bullied tell your parents (if you're 18 and under) and/or contact your nearest police department! Do not stay quiet!~ I.E.**


	4. Estranged

**_December, 2012_**

**AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FINALLY!**

**I FINALLY FINISHED REWRITING THIS S.O. FUCKING. B! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! -falls to the floor, rolling on the floor-**

**I'm done with this ordeal! It took me so fucking long to 1. gather the drive to rewrite it. 2. talk about it. 3. sit down and try to piece it together and 4. actually rewriting it.**

**For those of you who've read the original _Symphony _chapter, I have kept 49.5% of the original text. It is a totally different chapter with A LOT of new/old information. I'll be honest with you, I wasn't happy with how I didn't tie some things together early on and now I see the unfortunate mistakes as fortunate events that forced/helped me fill in some holes in the story.**

**Yes, I did change the title to Guns N' Roses because they're one of my Edward's favorite bands and because the title and lyrics more than fitting for what happens in the climax and the state in which Edward finds himself in this stage of his life and finally cuz they're just awesome. (I thought about going with _Welcome to the Jungle_ but that seemed a little obvious so I crossed it off even though I'm obsessed with that song right now.)**

**The voice of _Estranged_ Edward is a little colder than _Symphony _Edward and I'm actually very happy with the slight change in tone. I felt he'd been a little to... aware in the original.**

**If you're new to this story, read the ending AN...**

**Ok enough of my notes, here's the new and improved chapter four of _You Drive Me Wild._**

**_~.~.~._**

**The first EPOV, enjoy ;)**

* * *

Guns N' Roses- _Estranged_

* * *

**EPOV**

_1998._

_I hate factions._ I walked to Emmett's bedroom knowing he would be doing his homework while listening to his grunge music. I didn't bother to knock, walking into a make-out session between him and his girlfriend Jenny.

They were on his bed, he was on top of her; their hands everywhere.

"Woah!" I screamed closing the door behind me. I blinked a few times, my heart racing and embarrassed for the two of us.

"Edward!" He opened the door behind me as I started for my room; I absentmindedly complained that I didn't get a chance to ask him for some help.

"I didn't see anything I swear!"

"Eddie!" He ran after me, grabbing me by the arm. He spun me around and glanced around before speaking. "Why didn't you knock?"

"I'm sorry!" I looked everywhere but his face.

"It's ok kid, just knock next time ok?"

"I'm not a kid." I huffed pushing him away and finally meeting his eyes. His face was bright red, brown curls everywhere and Dad's _Illusion_ concert t-shirt that really, _really _wanted was all wrinkled. I frowned; _I wanted to ask Emmett for it._

Emmett laughed messing with my hair, "hey!" I jumped away. _What the hell?_

"Edward, why are you so impatient to grow up?"

I scowled, turning on my heel, Jenny walked out shy and nervous. "Emmett?"

Jenny was a tall natural-blonde but she'd recently dyed her hair black. She had super insipid yellow green eyes that freaked the crap out of me. _She reminds me of a black cat_…

I always felt like Jenny belonged to a cult or some shit like that. She liked to read about vampires and rice and I wondered once what it would be like to drink the blood of a person. How weird is that?

"Sorry Jen, give me a moment." Emmett told her, "I'll be right back." She nodded, looking at me and sending me a tentative smile. I tried to return it but it felt false, she pursed her lips and walked back into Em's room closing the door behind her.

"You have a type." I told him. He looked at me confused. "You like girls who creep me out ." I thought of Emmett's past girlfriends. They always were into crazy shit like Jenny. His most recent ex would say that the desks at school spoke to each other, and talked about life in the fifties when they- the desks, were born.

She also claimed she "saw" things like the devil dancing with Big Foot on the corner of Ivy St. and Brand Avenue.

The creepiest thing about Erica though, was that she liked to get together with her friends and go down to the cemetery and pray for the apocalypse.

Mom had asked Emmett to be careful with her but Emmett told her Erica was playing around.

That is until she tried to drag him into one of those meetings and use him as a sort of male sacrifice. Dad found out and went to Erica's parents who then took her to a mental facility. There they found out Erica was suffering from illusions caused by acid.

"Does that mean we're going to die?" Alice asked Mom, wide-eyed when Dad informed Emmett of Erica's interment.

"What do you mean honey?" Mom asked her.

"Acid." Alice said, "is it going to fall from the sky and burn us all?"

"No of course not, honey." Mom put her hand on Alice's shoulder and put some of her long dark brown hair behind her ear. "Listen, why don't you go upstairs and finish your math homework? You can call Bella Swan and ask her if she can come over and help you with it, huh? I can make you some really delicious snacks like your favorite mini pizzas and Bella's blueberry and vanilla cookies. She loves them."

Alice's eyes bugged out brightly but then she pouted looking at the floor, "Bella won't come over. She doesn't like me."

"Of course she does."

"No she doesn't." I said, speaking for once and tasting an odd, bitter taste in my mouth. "She always says 'no' to Alice's suggestions and runs away to be by herself."

"Don't be like that Edward." Mom chastised me, she turned to Alice, "go on. Call her."

"Ok." Alice nodded turning and going to call Bella Swan from Dad's office phone.

"There's no point." I sing-songed as I threw myself on Mom's new "early-Victorian, maple, dark finish" sofas. _She's always re-decorating._

"Edward!" I rolled my eyes knowing what was about to say to me, "sit up!"

"But Mom-"

"Listen to your mother, Edward." Dad told me before drinking out of his coffee cup. He turned back to Emmett who was shell-shocked. "Did you know she consumed LSD?"

"No." Emmett answered automatically, eyes on the floor, he sat upright like a stone but not because of Mom but rather because he was so out of it.

"Are you sure, son? If you've ever done something-"

"Dad!" That seemed to have woken him up, "I'm clean!"

"Are you sure honey?" Mom asked him, bracing herself for the worst. My heart clenched, if Emmett had done anything bad, my image of him would collapse.

"Mom!" Emmett stood up, shocked. "I had no idea Erica was doing drugs, I just thought she was eccentric!" He turned to Dad, "you have to believe me!"

"Calm down Emmett," he got up and went to him, "we believe you. We just had to ask."

"So what's going to happen to her now?"

"We originally thought it was a psychological issue but now that we know it's a drug problem, I'm going to recommend they transfer her to a drug rehabilitation center that has an in-house psychologist."

Coming back to Jenny, she might not have been as nuts as Erica, but something about her rubbed me the wrong way.

Emmett laughed at my type comment and rolled his eyes. "Let's talk later, ok?" I shrugged noncommittally and went to my room.

I sat down at my brand new desk and put my crumpled up homework down. I groaned, slumping down. _Now I have to rewrite what I'd finished already._

_Damn._

~.~.~.

It was dark out, and in a rare stroke of luck the sky was clear and sparely cloudy. I took the chance to step outside and take a breath of fresh air. The moon was full and beautiful, bright and ghostly white.

The image of _her_ came into view but I closed my eyes and kicked the dirt in front of me, angrily. _Why are you thinking of _her_? What's so special about _her_?_

I walked to the fountain, as it trickled quietly in the night. The sound of the water eased me into a sense of relaxation. I sighed heavily, feeling an itching in my fingers. It wasn't the typical need to scratch that one got when the body needed to get rid of dead skin in an area but more of the need to play.

Nights like this made me want to start playing again but I squashed the thought. I'd given up on the piano because of _her_ and I wasn't going to go back. I would never go through the same intense embarrassment she'd made me feel eight years ago.

_She doesn't even remember her mocking. Wow._

I sighed again bending over a little and dragging my hands through the cool water.

Isabella Swan.

Bella Swan was the daughter of one of the town's most respected police officers and a housewife. Her parents were good friends with mine, so much so Mom always babysat her when her mom felt sick which was always.

She was two years younger than me, the same age as Alice. But they were complete opposites physically and in personality. Alice was tiny and compact while Bella was average-height and _round_.

Bella was shy and quiet, always keeping to herself. She would always sit in the last seat of the closest row to the door in school- Alice told me, and would always sit alone at lunch and recess. This I knew because I saw it.

Alice was gregarious and uncompromising. She was the perfect extrovert, always wanting to be the center of attention and blowing things out of proportion- the typical only daughter/youngest child. Alice wore bright and girly skirts to match her spirit while Bella wore her uniformed dark hoodie, jeans and sneakers. I sometimes wondered if she wore a shirt underneath her sweaters. The thought made me blush.

Bella was an only child, but she spent so much time at our house during the weekend that Alice had thought she was related to us when we were younger. I'd always known Bella was a guest hence never treating her as a sister much to my parents' chagrin.

"You should be more accommodating to Bella, Edward." My Mom would tell me.

"Why?"

"Because she's an only child and she must be very lonely."

"That's not my fault isn't?"

"Edward!"

"It's true." I shrugged, ignoring the bitterness again. "She never wanted to play with me when we had play dates and she never speaks to me, not even a 'hello.' I don't particularly care for Bella Swan." _You're such a liar._

I knew I was.

Something inside of me nagged me every time I pulled her hair or when I would throw mud in her face when we played at the park after a very rainy day, or when I manipulated her into giving me her brand new toys, keeping them for a few days or for keeps.

I didn't understand why it bothered me so much that she didn't want to talk to me, ever. Or why she always ran away from me when I would try and play with her.

Why didn't she like me? Everyone else told me how talented I was, with my piano-playing, my grades at school and the embarrassing dancing Mom would force me to do with her "to try and give her children a little culture."

She'd tried to teach Emmett but he'd broken his foot when he and I got into it because I'd punched him in the gut for borrowing my red Hot Wheels convertible without asking. He'd tried to jump me , off the sofa but I'd been too quick for him and he fell on his leg.

_Why couldn't Bella see how awesome I was?_

She never complimented me. Always mute and in the corner of the metaphorical room as everyone buzzed with praise and amazement.

Did she think that she was better than me; that I didn't deserve her praise because I didn't meet her own accomplishments?

_No. That can't be. She's never shown any true talent other than to look at the floor hiding behind her stupid, shiny chocolate-brown hair as she blushed a pretty pink making her white skin look delicate and well… pretty. _I frowned suddenly, _if only she would stop wearing those hoddies, they make her look bigger than she is._

When I was five, Emmett and I watched a superhero movie and I noticed that the girl always liked the hero because he saved her from the villain.

I thought about it for a while and wondered if Bella would start to like me if I saved her from evil. I waited for our moms to take us to the park again and asked her to go to the slide with me.

They had picked me up from kindergarten and Mom was waiting for Emmett to be let out of school since I was let out two hours before him.

"Bella," I told her as our moms chatted in a bench that overlooked the huge sandpit where the kiddie rides where; Alice was running to Mommy because I'd thrown sand in her hair.

_I miss Emmett. I hate playing with Alice because she's always going to rat me out to Mommy._

Bella was sitting by the monkey bars, drawing on the sand with a random stick that must have fallen from one of the nearby trees.

She looked up startled, her eyes bugging out when I walked up to her. She didn't say anything in response, her body becoming stiff and alert like a cornered animal.

"Come with me to the slide." I grabbed her hand and found it odd that it was icy cold. She pulled away as if I'd burned her.

"I don't want to." Her quiet little voice taking me my surprise every time she spoke. I would always forget how musical her voice sounded.

"Come on, it'll be fun." I pressed as I went back for her hand.

"No."

"Bella, come on." I grabbed her and dragged her up the stairs to the mouth of the longest slide in the park. I looked at our moms; they were too engrossed with Alice's crying to notice Bella and I at the top of the slide.

There were other kids with their moms and nannies around the park but they were in their own world. I turned to the steps telling myself that I needed to be quick once Bella went down the slide for me to catch her and save her from… me?

"Get on the slide." I instructed her, pointing to it.

She shook her head emphatically, biting her lip.

I groaned pushing her on to it, "Edward!" She screamed as I shoved her- I felt a thrill hearing her say my name- I ran to the steps and jumped off the second rung only to reach the foot of the slide a second after she slid through and landed on her face.

_Too slow._

She got up, sand in her mouth and all over. She began balling her eyes out, face on me and angry.

"Bella!" I could her mom behind me.

"Edward!" It was my Mom's turn.

"Tony!" Alice screamed angrily.

Everything around me buzzed, reprimands, cries, soothing words but I had no time to pay attention to that. I looked at Bella who looked at me, pure fear in her eyes as hot tears rolled down her plump cheeks.

_Everyone likes me but you. Why?_

Mom grounded me for a week, not letting me go with her and Alice to the park and telling Eliza, our housekeeper, to give me chores around the house for pushing Bella off the slide.

Eliza made me clean the dining room table, the countertops, my room, and made me dry the dishes when she washed them. It was torture and it took forever.

Dad took away my Hot Wheels Thunder Roller, Fangster, Flame Stopper and my absolute favorite red convertible- he'd given me for my fifth birthday earlier that year. I cried for three days, not eating until Eliza dropped off some PB&J sandwiches in front of my bedroom door before she went home.

"You can't push girls into slides son." He told me when he sat me down after the third day. "Not just girls, but people in general. You can't force someone to do what you want to do."

I didn't say anything, I just stared at the floor angry and fuming.

_You don't know anything! I want her to play with me but instead she just stands there by herself!_

He sighed patting my shoulder, "and besides if you want a girl to pay attention to you, you give her flowers not force her to eat sand."

"What?" I didn't understand what he meant. Why would I want to give anyone flowers?

My Dad chuckled, "you're only five, Edward. You might not even remember this when you're older." He dropped his hand and turned towards his office, "no more pushing ok?"

Bella ignored me completely when the grounding was lifted. I was fine with that.

Because of her I'd gone through hell at home and I was angry that she didn't like me. It was her fault Mommy and Daddy grounded me. It was her fault I pushed her down the slide.

It was all her fault because she didn't like me.

_And I don't like her._

When I turned six I was allowed to take piano lessons, Emmett tried taking up the violin but it didn't work out. He hates it now.

Alice wanted to play with me but Mom considered her too young to start playing, promising her to consider it when she turned five.

Grandpa Platt had bequeathed his father's 1925 black _Steinway & Sons_ large baby grand piano to my parents when they married, along with Grandma Platt's antique emerald earrings and three matching freshwater pearl strings.

According to Dad, the two sets of grandparents had tried to outdo one another with the wedding gifts when Mom and Dad got married.

I wondered who'd won since Dad's parents gave them the plot of land where our house stood.

When Mom sat down and taught me how to play Beethoven's _Für Elise_, it took less than a week for me to pick it up and play without her standing over me. I learned to read music in lesser time than that.

I would spend hours on the piano, as Alice complained of being lonely and sad while Emmett was either at school, doing his homework or out with his friends.

I began a game in my head, every day I needed to go one step further than the day before. If I played a piece a_dagio _one day, I would try to play the same piece _andante_ the next day and so on.

"It's shocking," my Mom would tell my Dad. "I've never seen anyone take to the piano quite like Edward."

"Maybe he's the second coming of Mozart." My father replied proudly.

"He certainly has the talent."

_Yes,_ I reveled, _I am the best._

It was hard for me to go to elementary school because the school days were longer which meant I had less time to play. Bella's mom began to feel very sick and Mom would bring her over more often.

When I saw her in the living room the first day she'd been over to our house, Alice had gone upstairs to get something, I didn't know what since I'd walked in when she ran up the stairs.

I puffed up and sat down at the piano for my daily playing. I'd moved on to full sonatas by then and I started to play Mozart's _Sonata No. 10_ in C Major.

I felt a sense of pride wash over me as I played, hyper aware that Bella sat ten feet away. My fingers moved through the ivory with brand new fervor. I kept my eyes on the glossy black lacquer, staring at the _Steinway & Sons_ insignia with a burning intensity.

Mom walked into the living room with Eliza in tow, "Edward!" She exclaimed excitedly.

I didn't stop playing, instead I drowned her and Eliza's gasps honing in on Bella.

She was silent.

I played faster as if my rhythm would force a compliment out of her, but there was still silence.

Alice came downstairs only to be shushed by Mom who was mystified.

I finished the piece ending in _agitato_; something I'd never done before. My arms hurt from the strain, my fingers pinched and my heartbeat raced against my chest.

The last note resounded through the living room for a second before Eliza, Mom and Alice clapped for me. I turned to face them, still sitting on the bench. My eyes went to her immediately.

She just stared at me, stiff and blank. When our eyes met, she turned her cheek to the side sending a stake through me.

I'd just showed her how brilliant I knew I was in my new love and obsession and she didn't even acknowledge the fact that I'd played _well._

Nothing.

Radio silence.

Not even crickets.

Mom and Eliza came to me, beaming and proud. Alice asked me to teach her to play that instant but _she _just sat there, looking at the floor angry and silent.

I thanked the others and excused myself to my room. I punched a pillow, my ego broken and bleeding.

I swore never to play ever again; I didn't want her to quietly mock me again. It depressed me to no end but my pride was more powerful than my need to play.

I made it my life's mission to see her hurt and pained. When she began school I took her pencils and crayons. If I saw her at lunch or recess I cornered her, ordering her to do my homework or to give me half of her lunch.

I made sure no one else did so though. Only I, Edward Cullen had the right to treat her that way.

Eight years later and I was still reeling from her silence. It bothered me how she didn't fawn over me like the other people in town.

I had promoted middle school with the highest GPA and had already been considered to be class president even before stepping into high school. Not to mention, I realized girls started noticing me but I wasn't interested. I found them boring and time-consuming. Why go see a movie with someone who giggles, speaks in high pitched voices and asks you to waste your money and stupid things like stuffed animals? No thanks.

Tanya Denali had just moved to Forks not so long ago with her blended family and had made it a point to get me to ask her out on a date. I eventually did after the insistence of the people I hung around at school with.

After taking her to see _The Mummy_ and whispering in my ear how scared she was I walked her to her house. Instead of making me nervous and making my heart race like my friends had told me beforehand, it made me want to run to her house just so I could get rid of her. "Edward," she said in a really quiet whinny voice.

"Yeah?"

"Want to make out behind my house?" She fluttered her too-much baby blue make up eyes at me. I winced at the thought of imagining her sticky glossy lips. _Wannabe Britney Spears._

"Um... No." I answered flat out. Her face fell and so did her mouth.

"Why? You know I'm not a virgin right?" She informed me- first sounding shocked and added the last part as-a-matter-of-factly.

"I didn't," _what am I supposed to say to that?_ "But I have to get home, I have curfew." It was half true. Dad and Mom expected me at ten o'clock on the dot. I wouldn't put it past Mom if she was keeping track of the seconds. I glanced at my watch and was relieved when I noticed I had half an hour to get home.

"Come on Edward," She stomped her foot, "you're supposed to say yes and besides you always have to kiss your girlfriend goodbye, especially after a date." She twirled a strand of blonde hair with her pink manicured finger.

"Girlfriend?" My eyes popped out of its sockets, my blood went cold and I felt the urgent need to run away faster than ever before. I'd never had a girlfriend and I didn't want one. I knew boyfriends and girlfriends kissed, held hands and gave each other stupid girly nicknames.

I wanted to barf at the thought but instead said, "sorry Tanya but I just took you to see the movie so you can get off my back." Her mouth opened like a dead fish. "I don't want you as my girlfriend. Ever." Before she could tell me otherwise and force to kiss her- I pushed images Bella- I bolted towards my house. I heard Tanya huff and stomp her stupid foot again but didn't bother turning back.

If I had I would've had girlfriend.

"Edward?" Emmett's voice startled me bringing me back from my reverie. Once he spotted me by the fountain he sprinted to me. The front door lights outlining him as he got closer to me, I couldn't see his face because of the low lighting.

"Is Mom calling me?"

"No." He shook his head as he reached me, his face became clearer and I could make him out now that he was in front of me. "I want to talk to you."

"About?" My skin prickled, I knew where he was going with this but I didn't want to.

"What you saw earlier today."

"I don't want to talk about that." I started for the door as the gravel crunched under me.

"Wait Edward, please." Emmett grabbed me by my upper arm and spun me around, I pulled away non-aggressively but still defensive. "Things are changing and I want you to know that it's normal to feel out of it."

I didn't want to have another Talk so I changed the subject, "what does kissing feel like?"

Emmett blinked multiple times before responding, "um… you've never been kissed?" He cocked his head to the side, a little surprised.

I felt a wave of heat creep up my neck and spread all over my cheeks, "was I supposed to have been?"

"No," he answered too quickly for my liking, "not at all." He cleared his throat awkwardly, "I just thought since you're so popular at school…"

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing." _I don't believe you._ "Listen, please don't tell Mom and Dad you walked in on Jenny and I. They think I'm still tutoring her in math."

I shrugged, "fine." I turned back ready to go to bed.

"You feel butterflies." Emmett told me as I took my first step forward. I stopped and looked at him, "what?"

"You feel butterflies in your stomach-that's what kissing feels like."

"You eat butterflies before kissing?" I grimaced in disgust. He laughed harder, shaking his head incredulously.

"Of course not dummy, but you feel as if a colony of butterflies decided to take flight all over the inside of your stomach."

Understanding dawned over me. "Oh." I looked away, curiosity brimming all over. "Is it nice?"

"Very." He nodded vehemently, "you feel fuzzy and warm."

I bit my lip, jealousy over taking my curiosity, "I want to feel that."

Emmett walked to me, laughing and once again messing with my hair, "you will, but first you have to find yourself a girl."

~.~.~.

The next day Bella came over to my house after her mom went for a walk. As if someone had worked magic, here she was, in my room.

After I tried convincing her that I wasn't going to tease her anymore, she didn't believe me making me angry that she didn't trust me. So I bit her.

I buzzed when I felt an odd electric shock I touched her neck and sunk my teeth into her soft skin. She pushed me off and that's when I realized something crucial.

_"I want to feel that."_

_"You will, but first you have to find yourself a girl."_

Bella Swan was a _girl._

So I kissed her.

And I _liked _it.

The butterflies erupted from inside of me and fluttered in a frenzy all over not knowing where to find purchase. But then she punched me.

Before I could recover from all of the brand new and confusing sensations she was out of my room. I wanted to ask her what I'd done wrong. _Had I kissed her wrong? Did I not do a good job as to her butterflies not coming out too?_

I followed her out to try and stop her and ask her but Eliza reached her before I could do anything. I blanched, feeling cold and terrified.

If my parents found out I'd stolen a kiss from her making her punch me, they would ground me for as long as I lived. Not to mention, Officer Swan would have me arrested for theft and send me to Attica in New York.

There was a shift as Bella and I stared at each other after Eliza asked her what had happened. She had me in her grasp and I couldn't do anything to escape it.

_For now._

Bella stayed the night and had breakfast with my family. Emmett was late and offered to take us to see _Toy Story 2_ at the movie theater. Bella sent me a death glare when Mom asked me if I wanted to go and I made up a lie saying I was too tired to go.

She was already flexing her new power and it bothered me.

The girls and Emmett went out after lunch leaving me with Mom and Eliza.

Mom had become very antsy and nervous throughout the day, when I asked her if something was wrong she said, "nothing darling. I'm just waiting for a very important call. If the phone rings, don't pick up but call me right away. I've told Eliza as much."

"Alright Mom." I nodded finding this odd but not asking further questions. I spent the day reading a medical journal Dad had left behind in the coffee table finding it interesting and enlightening.

The phone rang eventually and Mom ran like a crazed lunatic, taking the call in Dad's office and making sure to close the door behind her.

Em and the girls came back in time to see Officer Swan pull into our front door in his police cruiser.

He intimidated me, not because he was a bad person but because like any policeman, he carried his gun around- he'd come to pick Bella up instead of going home and taking it off there.

I looked to him with both fear and admiration.

He was a man of few words; tall, lean, clean-shaven except for a mustache, the typical policeman's haircut and warm, brown eyes. The town respected him and there were rumors that he was on his way of becoming the new Chief of Police.

Mom asked him and Bella to step into Dad's office; she had become stoic and cold after she stepped out after her call.

"Eliza," Alice asked her when she came into the living room with a tray of refreshments, "what's going on?"

"Nothing, Ali. Your mom just wants to talk to the Swans about possibly giving Bella a permanent room here." My mouth dropped, _Bella having a room here?_

I thought about the empty guestroom that was connected to my bathroom. It'd been meant to be a communal bathroom for Alice and I but when she chose what was supposed to be the guestroom of the house, I'd considered the bathroom mine.

_I would share my bathroom with her._

I swallowed hard not knowing why I felt a shot of adrenaline run through me like fire as my heart began beating a slight curve in my ribcage.

"Oh my god!" Alice bounced up and down, clapping her hands annoyingly. "That's a great idea!"

Eliza gave her a rueful smile and let herself into the office. I turned to Emmett who was keeping an eye on the door, quietly musing to himself. "Why do I get the sense that she was lying?"

"Because you're right."

Alice turned to him shocked, "what do you mean?"

Emmett looked to her for a second, as if deciding whether to be honest with her or not, I recognized the "not" in his face a second before he spoke. My instincts didn't like this, "nothing important, Pix. I'm just thinking out loud."

"Matty," the spoiled brat was unleashed inside of her, "you're lying to me!"

"I'm not, I really was thinking out loud." He placated her, as she pouted angrily, crossing her arms around her chest. I turned to the door one again, waiting for them to emerge.

Eliza walked out with an empty tray and told us to go and do our homework, he didn't budge offending her but she didn't insist. She went to the kitchen, the next time she came back she was carrying the same tray but with sandwiches this time.

_What's going on?_ I thought, frustrated and burning. I wanted to know what was happening behind closed doors.

Half an hour later Officer Swan walked out, with Bella tucked by his side protectively. His face was emotionless and lacking in the aforementioned warmth taking me by surprise. Emmett and I stood up as Alice made her way to Bella. "Bella, did you hear the news? When are you-"

"Alice, honey," Mom told her, taking her hand and pulling her away from a tear-stained Bella. My heart missed a bit, the sudden need to hug her almost took over me but I managed to plant my feet before embarrassing myself.

"Bella?"

She hid her face in her dad's side, sniffling.

_It feels like a funeral…_

"Thank you Esme- for everything." Officer Swan told Mom as he made his way out. Emmett sent me a dark look, we walked behind Mom as she followed the Swans out.

Officer Swan stopped in the foyer waiting for Eliza to open the door. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently, giving him a hug.

He turned back to Mom, sending me and Emmett a small smile. That surprised me the most, I didn't know what to think.

Bella's eyes met mine before she looked at the floor, biting her lip and letting it go. I noticed a tiny drop of blood before Officer Swan led her out. The urge to run to her and hug her came back to me ten-fold and right when my muscles began to contract towards the first step, Officer Swan stepped out leading Bella out.

Emmett looked at me oddly but he said nothing. I turned away, blushing and wishing I'd had more self-control.

Officer Swan walked his daughter to the front passenger seat of the cruiser, strapping her in and walking to the driver's side. When he was in and ready to start the car, he held on to the steering wheel for a second and then hunched over suddenly- weeping into the wheel.

Bella turned to him alarmed and in shock, trying to console him fresh cries coming out of her; Alice shrieked, she ran to Bella.

Everyone jumped forward but Emmett was faster than anyone else. He went to Officer Swan, opening the door, "I'll drive you home, sir."

Officer Swan was able to compose himself and nodded slightly.

"Bella!" Alice opened the door and threw herself on her. Alice didn't know what was going on but she cried just as uncontrollably as Bella. "What's- what's wrong, Bella?" She asked her, I ran to Alice and tried pulling her off.

"Come on Alice, we need to let Bella and her Dad go home." Bella looked at me, a river of tears down her cheeks, a small speck of terror in her eyes. I swallowed hard and kept my focus on my sister who was fighting me.

"No! Something's wrong with Bella! I don't want her to be sad! Why are you crying Bella?"

"Alice, please don't be difficult." I begged, digging into her arm and hating it because I knew I would leave a mark.

"Let me go!" She shrieked pushing herself on to Bella, "Alice!" I screamed putting my full weight on my legs and pulling her off.

"Bella!"

I held on to a thrashing Alice and took her inside, my Mom gave me a thankful glance before unlocking Bella and sitting her in the back seat. Officer Swan took the adjacent seat behind the driver's seat, allowing Emmett to take over.

I took Alice to the living room, sitting her down and letting her cry. "What's going on Edward?" Eliza came to us after watching them go.

I turned to Eliza asking her the same question, "Eliza what's going on?"

She sighed, her usual bun was lightly undone, her hazel eyes were sad and down. "Renee, Bella's mom…"

"Yes?"

"She…left them… yesterday afternoon and she told your Mom today. Renee didn't bother to tell Charlie about it, she was too cowardly to face him herself and gave the responsibility to your mother."

Alice and I stared at her, totally shell-shocked.

I had the luck and disadvantage of having a happy, united family and because of it I couldn't imagine any parent leaving their family. It was hard to wrap my head around the idea of someone leaving willingly and without so much as a goodbye.

_Are you really that surprised? Think about it. Your mom took care of Bella more often than not because Renee Swan was always sick or undisposed. She would leave Bella alone since her father works such long hours at the station. Bella had to learn to fend for herself because of it._

I tried clearing my thoughts but I knew my subconscious was right. Drinking in the disgusting news made me realize I wasn't really shocked, just surprised.

_It would happen eventually._

I thought about Bella and how her life had changed in a matter of twenty four hours. How would she deal with life-changing event?

I knew she would never be the same and she would need some sort of normalcy while she dealt with the changing tide.

_I need to be the constant factor in her life…I need to remind her of life before the abandonment._

In hind sight, I should have taken the chance to turn over a new leaf, but I was a stupid, "mature" kid and I continued to tease Bella.

I didn't know any better.

~.~.~.

_1999._

"Hey," Emmett walked into my bedroom as I lay on my bed trying to read _Don Quixote_. It was a welcome distraction since I was having a hard time understanding it, it tripped me out.

"What's up?" He walked to me, I noticed he was wearing a black R.E.M. concert t-shirt, making me wonder if he saw them while at Woodbury.

"Can we talk?"

"Um… sure." This took me for a tiny tailspin since he and I rarely 'needed to talk.' He cleared his throat nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I know Dad isn't around much and well I wanted to talk to you about… well… the effects of sleeping now that you're fifteen and," he cleared his throat again, "well-" _Oh._

"Are you talking about morning wood?" I decided to throw him a bone.

He looked at me surprised, "yeah."

"Emmett, Dad had The Talk with me since-" I shook my head, feeling Eddie Jr. flinch in pain at the memory of _her_ falling on him. "Last year." I amended hoping he didn't notice my editing.

"Oh." He nodded, sitting at the edge of my bed, "I still want to talk to you about girls." I rolled my eyes, feeling dread. I got up feeling awkward and uncomfortable. He felt my shift in mood and told me nervously, "listen I know what it's like to have feelings for a girl who might not-"

"What are you talking about? I don't like anyone right now." I looked at him, pissed that someone might be spreading rumors about me. Tanya Denali had made it her life's mission to tell everyone she and I were _meant_ to be together.

"Are you sure?" He looked at me, doubtful and suspicious.

"Yes!"

"Oh." He sat back, quiet and thoughtful.

"Are we done?"

"No," _damn it, _"um… Edward…"

"Yes?" I was seriously getting annoyed, it wasn't like Emmett to be so weird- he was usually straightforward and to the point.

"Are you-are you a… virgin?" I blanched spinning on my heels. "I need to clean up," I grabbed my sneakers from the middle of the floor and my sweaty white shirt that I'd just taken off half an hour ago after playing basketball with him and Dad. "If I don't, Eliza'll kill me."

"Edward." He stood up and put his hand on my shoulder. I looked at the bathroom door in front me, hoping the ground would just swallow me up and kill me. "It's ok, kid. I didn't lose mine until I was fifteen."

"Oh god!" I screamed throwing everything around me, I looked at him, "fifteen?! I thought I had at least _one_ more year to be normal!"

"Edward, relax! There's no set date, I was just saying that-"

Someone knocked on the door, we turned to see our mom walk in, hands on her hips and her mouth was twisted. "You're not arguing are you?"

"No." We said in unison.

"Edward and I were just having an argument over the Pats. They lost to the Saints by a-" Mom shook her hand in front of her, grimacing, "spare me the sports talk. I'm not a fan."

I grinned, thankful Emmett had chosen one of Mom's _few _"weaknesses."

"Come help me in the kitchen. Bella's birthday is next month and I'm creating a cake recipe for her dinner then."

I cocked my eyebrow at the mention of my Achilles' heel.

"Ok Mom." Emmett nodded, looking at me and sending me a knowing look, "we'll be right down."

"In a minute." She told us, turning on her heel and walking away, making sure to leave the door wide open in case we got into it again.

When she was out of ear shot and we could hear her descending footsteps, I turned to Emmett, "swear you'll never tell _anyone_ about this."

"Of course." He nodded emphatically, "and you have to promise me you'll be safe when it happens." I rolled my eyes, "of course."

"Dad's going to have you checked out for STDs soon enough, kid. Trust me."

"I know."

"You also have to promise me that if you fall for someone, _anyone,_ you'll confide in me if you need it." He asked me, intense all of a sudden.

"Yeah sure." I looked at him, doubtfully, but I didn't press on. I wanted this conversation over and done with.

_Now to help Mom with _her _cake recipe._

* * *

**BPOV**

_2000._

I clutched on to the books, tucking them under my chin and protecting them as much as possible from the wind around me.

"Bella," Mrs. Mendez called out to me as she locked the library doors behind her, "how are you getting home?"

"I'm walking." I answered her over my shoulder, hating myself for wearing a thin summer dress and sandals instead of my usual jeans, sweater and sneakers.

"It's so late out. Your father would have me arrested if he found out I let you walk home late at night as a thunderstorm made its way into town." She walked to me, taking the steps two at a time.

"Don't worry," I sprinted away before she reached me, I hated it when people treated me like a child. "I won't tell on you!"

"Bella!"

I tucked the books under me again, walking briskly through the empty streets feeling the white whistle Dad had given me last year after a serial rapist escaped prison… in Kansas.

A huge thunderstorm was about to hit and he'd been called out to the station for its duration in case there were flash floods and possible evacuations.

The frigid wind, fat cold droplets, tiny specks of dead leaves and dirt cut through my face and entered my eyes making them water. I decided to take the backstreets of the almost empty town because it would cut my travel time by three minutes.

I entered Bennett Circle, the cul-de-sac that touched the woods surrounding the town and where Tanya Denali and her stupid cousin lived, hoping and praying they didn't notice me crossing their street towards Lafayette Way and then Tulip Drive where I lived. I stopped in my tracks when I noticed the silver Volvo I abhorred.

I made out the figures of my long-time tormentor and the demoness wondering if they were doing ungodly things inside that stupid car.

I hid in the shadows of the trees, self-preservation killing my curiosity. I held my breath, beginning to pray again.

"Come on Edward." Her whinny voice was muffled but clear even over the wind. "Let's try it again."

"No Tanya." I gasped, he sounded angry and annoyed. "I'm not up for it."

"But we've tried it _three_ times."

"Not tonight."

"But-"

"No. Tonight." His voice was frozen and uninterested.

"Fine." She got out of the car, threw the door closed and ran home furiously. She slammed her door behind her not turning on her lights.

I peaked at the Volvo, shocked at what the cryptic conversation.

Hold on… were they…? He can't…

_Whoa._

Before I could string a real sentence together, he lowered his window and I saw a lighter light up what seemed to be a cigarette in the shadows of his car. My mouth dropped further down in the floor.

He took a deep drag and exhaled out of his window, "fuck." He groaned quietly.

_Oh my god! Edward smokes!_

I held in the pure glee that bubbled in my stomach, _a new thing to hold over his head!_

I shifted my feet under me stepping on a twig- of course the heroine has to give herself away to the villain otherwise it wouldn't be believable right?

Edward threw out his cigarette coughing out the smoke that had been in his lungs. He stepped out, making me want to run away immediately. Keeping my back to the trunk of the tree, I stepped further in, hiding myself in the shadows one more time.

The clouds began to let go of rain, misting everything.

He walked into the forest not so far from me, "hello?" I closed my eyes, holding my breath and bracing myself. After a moment, he relaxed, "fucking squirrels- gonna give me a heart attack." He turned back and walked into the sidewalk.

I let out a breath and shifted again. Another goddamned twig snapped under me, "Bella?" I ran for it but he grabbed me, stopping me, "what the fuck are you doing here?!"

"I have to go home!" The rain began to gather force, drenching me in a matter of seconds.

"Get in the car!"

"I can walk!" I fought against him, trying to shield the books from further water damage

"Listen to me for once in your fucking life," he opened the passenger door of his car and threw me in, "let me drive you home!"

He was in the driver's seat before my brain caught up with me. I absentmindedly put on my seatbelt, putting the books on my lap. The smell of cigarette, wet earth and something else… something… delicious reached my senses.

I grimaced when I felt the ash run down my throat.

He looked at me in utter terror. He knew I knew.

He started the car and waited for me to say something. The rain came down in a sheet, not allowing us to see beyond a few feet. I said nothing, keeping my eyes on my window.

"I only do it when I'm stressed ok?"

I kept my mouth shut, enjoying his squirming.

"Bella."

"Eyes on the road, Edward." I said emotionless and pointing to the rain in front of us, "I don't want to die with you."

I felt him turn back to the windshield, "you don't have to do my Trig homework anymore."

"_And _your Biology project." He turned on Lafayette, we passed by Rosalie's house, I mused if she was still coming over to my house tomorrow morning. She'd asked me for some help on our term paper on _How to Kill a Mockingbird._

_That reminds me…_

"But-"

"_And_ your English term paper on _The Great Gatsby._ I know that's one of your favorites so I don't even understand why you would make me write it in the first place." The new sense of power made its way through my psyche, reinforcing it.

He made his way into Tulip Drive, I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw my steet.

"Bella-"

"Did you know that Esme gave me her new cellphone number? I find it so cool that your Dad gave it to her for their anniversary."

"Fine." He told me, panicked and fearful. I grinned triumphantly, he pulled into my driveway and parked the car.

My house was dark and empty, making me both nervous and anxious to get in.

I grabbed my books and put my hand on door, I was drunk on the power, "oh and Edward." He looked at me, biting his lip, he looked good, "don't worry. I won't tell that you couldn't get _it_ up."

His face darkened and bolted to me, stopping me from stepping out of the car. His body was flush against mine. I gasped, surprised by his sudden movement.

His beautiful face was inches from mine, jade eyes dark and melted. "What do you mean?"

I breathed deeply, feeling dizzy and speechless, "I-I…"

"Are you telling me, that you- Bella Swan know about _that_?" I blushed, biting my lip not knowing what to say.

I cleared my throat trying to regain control again, he wasn't going to win, "I-I have Health Class right now remember?"

His breathing hitched, I felt his body come closer to mine, pinning me to his seat, "and are you learning a few things, Bella?"

The way he said my name was different… dark and… different.

It stirred something deep inside of me to hear it come out that way. My heartbeat matched my shallow breathing, slow and painful but oddly thrilling.

His eyes darted down to my lips, the same look of mischief that had crossed his face last year made my blood chill.

"I've gotten better you know." He whispered, his voice was low and smooth.

"You wouldn't dare." I squirmed under him but he stopped me. He smirked playfully meeting my eyes for a millisecond before attaching his lips to mine.

I gasped, feeling the same shock of electricity run through me as his lips took mine. I stood still, not knowing what to do.

He bit and pulled on my lips, I felt warmth somewhere deep in my stomach, he pulled away roughly, "move with me, damn it."

So I did. I followed him as he dug one of his hands into my hip and the other in my hair. He growled when I responded, I felt him smirk against my lips but I didn't bother. After a moment he pulled away, holding my face in his hands. He was giddy.

I felt hot and breathless, a little disappointed that he'd pulled away. I quenched such dangerous feelings.

"You know about French kissing Bella?"

"No." All I knew about French kissing was what more experienced girls at school offered about it. Victoria had mentioned that it was sloppy and wet but fun if both people knew what they were doing.

"Wanna try it? I promise you'll like it." He coaxed me, looking at my lips again and licking his. "Have you?" Anger bubbled inside of me, wondering if he'd tried it with Tanya.

"Does it matter?" He grinned looking at up at me.

"No." I huffed.

"So… wanna try it?"

"Maybe next time." I pushed him off and ran out of his car into my house. I leaned on my door hearing him pull out of my drive way after a minute.

My heartbeat was erratic and frenzied. I took a deep breath and ran upstairs to my bedroom. I tried erasing the feelings he'd awakened in me.

* * *

**So… what did you think? Was it worse or better than the original? Did it answer questions you might have had before this?**

**To those of you who are new to the story and have no idea what I'm saying: ignore this :)**

**Thank you to everyone for your patience!**

**~I.E.**


	5. Pour Some Sugar On Me

**Firstly, I'm so sorry I didn't follow through with my promise of uploading this chapter last night, my family threw me a surprise birthday party which of course I couldn't ignore.**

**Secondly, thank you to the reviewers who wished me a happy birthday :D**

**Thirdly, thank you for your continued support, you guys seriously make my day!**

**Fourthly, as you've probably guessed every title is a song that is somehow connected to the content be it a memory, a direct quote or theme. _Pour Some Sugar On Me_by Def Leppard is one of my favorite 80s rock songs and I wanted to feature it in this story. It comes in by the end of the chapter and if you're interested listen to it as you read the text that was inspired by it ;) You'll enjoy it that much better hehehe.**

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Def Leppard- _Pour Some Sugar On Me_

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**BPOV**

_2001._

I was getting out of English class when Alice Cullen bounced up to me. I was still not used to seeing her with short hair. Mike Newton had been chewing a really big wad of gum trying to chew an entire pack at once. When he tried blowing a bubble it flew out of his mouth hitting Alice in the head effectively lodging the wad close to her scalp.

She'd cried hysterically, kicking Mike in his crown jewels and running the bathroom trying to pull out as much as she could. We didn't see her the rest of the day and she'd been absent for three days after.

"Hey Bella." He chirped meeting my stride.

"What's up Alice?" I'd tried not to be friends with her when we were younger but her insistence won out and now we were best of friends. I was thankful she'd insisted so much and for so long.

After Renee left Dad and I two years ago, things changed between us. She called me every day to check up on me even if I didn't take the call she would insist. Every day in school she sat with me at my lunch table and ate with me, not saying anything just eating. She would even fallow me to the bathroom where I used to hide the rest of the lunch period and all of recess and keep me company, still staying quiet but there.

One day, three weeks after nonstop silence I called her out on it. "Why are you following me Alice?"

"Because you're my friend." She told me simply. I stared at her shocked, staring at her pale green eyes trying to find a spec of pity just like everyone else in town.

"No I'm not." I finally blurted out when I didn't find it, making me wonder if she was that good of an actress.

"Yes you are." She nodded, going to the sink and washing her hands. "We grew up together."

"No, we didn't"

"Yes we did." She shook the access water from her hands staring at me through the mirror.

"Your mother babysat me because M-" I stopped myself feeling the familiar sob in my throat. I looked away, red with embarrassment. Alice turned around and forgetting to dry her hands with some towels took my hand in hers.

"I saw you around so many times I thought you were my sister." She looked down, a sad smile on her angelic face her hair fell went forward a little. "I wanted what Emmett and Edward had; they were always together, always playing cars, always running around and pushing each other. I wanted someone to be like that." She looked at me suddenly surprising me, "except for the hitting. I don't like hitting. Or the cars. I prefer dolls and playing tea party." She looked at my eyes fiercely, "which we did until dumb Edward would come in and tease you."

"I don't know-" I tried pulling away but she held on fiercely.

"Give me a chance to show you, you can trust me." I bit my lip desperately trying to fight against myself. If I gave her the chance there was an equal chance of her leaving me behind, _but it she could also show you what it feels like to have a friend._

I don't know...

_I don't get it. You want a friend and here she is. She been here always, actually but you still push her away._ I thought about what my subconscious told me. She was right. I was being a hypocrite and I so wanted to talk to some one that wasn't Dad. I loved him and we were hurting together but there were things I couldn't tell him.

Not yet anyway.

"Alright Alice." Her mouth spread to a huge smile, eyes sparkling. "You can be my friend." Squealing and hugging me she went on about matching outfits and planning future sleepovers.

"As you know," she buzzed with excitement pulling me back from my flashback. "I'm having a Halloween/masquerade birthday party on Saturday, I wanted you be the first to receive an invitation." She handed me a glossy pale orange envelope with my name written in beautiful script. I recognized it as Mrs. Cullen's writing making me smile.

Mrs. Cullen took over the motherly figure in my life, making my dad happy and relieved I had someone. She'd always been because she'd been friends with Renee since their childhood but now she made it her mission to take care of me as if I was her daughter.

It had taken me awhile to get over Renee's abandonment, I'd become extremely reclusive and emotional. I'd always been fat but when she left I stopped eating because I blamed my girth on being the reason for leaving us hence I lost weight. Dr. Cullen had advised Dad to contact a child psychiatrist to treat me if I wanted to talk to someone objectively but feel secure in doing so.

Dr. Carter and I met every Saturday in her Port Angeles office, Dad changed one of his days off to Saturdays that way he could drive me there. After a couple of sessions she diagnosed me with emotional eating.

"What do you mean?" My father asked her after one of our sessions, soon after I began seeing her.

"Bella," she said pushing her thin black glasses up her nose, crossing her legs and looking at her notes. She tucked her a strand of dirty blonde hair behind her ear and read off her pad, "experiences what they call 'emotional eating'," she looked at me remembering I'd mentioned hating it when people spoke as if I wasn't in the room, "which is when you eat without a physical _need_." She emphasized the word. She looked back to Dad. "You brought her to me after Dr. Cullen referenced me to you, now you told me that your wife left the two of you suddenly correct?"

"Yes." My father nodded.

"You also told me that she never really held any strong maternal instincts for Bella." I bit my lip feeling the words burn like a tattoo. She noticed this and quickly apologized, my father threw daggers at her. "You also told me that you used to argue a lot with her."

"Yes." He nodded again, ice in his voice.

"Bella try thinking back to as far as you can, what times did you see yourself eating large quantities of food?" I thought about the word 'quantities' thinking back to an English vocabulary quiz I remembered it meant 'amount'. _Ok she's asking when did you eat a lot of food._

"Um..." I looked at Dad, scared at what he might say. He looked at me with a worried expression. "What is it honey?"

"I..."

"It's ok Bella, I won't get mad." He took my hand. I believed him.

"When you and M-" Ever since she left I couldn't really say her "name."

"Renee. You can call her Renee sweetie." Dad swallowed hard closing his eyes for a second but opened them looking at with with resolve.

"I ate a lot when you and Re-Renee fought." _And after everyone teased me at school, and when I felt lonely at school, and when I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a big tummy whenever I changed clothes in front of a mirror._

Dr. Carter looked at me intently and wrote something down in her pad. I wanted to ask her what she was writing but didn't want to in front of Dad. I had a feeling it would be bad if he heard it.

"Oh Bella." He hugged me, "I'm sorry honey I had no idea we were doing that to you."

Dr. Carter cleared her throat, "don't worry Officer Swan, if you continue to place your trust in me and Bella feels up to it we can combat all of the childhood trauma she's received over the years." Charlie nodded determination in his face, "now that could only happen if you feel secure in my treatments."

"What does that entail?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary, just traditional one-on-one sessions with Bella."

"How do you feel about this Bella?" He looked at me concerned.

I thought about it. I'd been coming to Dr. Carter for three weeks and I'd liked her, she wasn't mean and didn't tease me and I knew Charlie wanted to help me deal with Renee. "I want to try."

Charlie beamed inhaling deeply, he turned back to Dr. Carter who was jotting things down at lighting speed. "We'll do this then."

"Perfect. I'll ask Kristie at the desk to sign you up for the sessions you're up for Bella." She gave me a big wide grin.

Dad told Dr. Cullen about my diagnosis and ran some physical tests to see where I was physically. Blood tests were run and he was in shock when the lab sent him the results.

"Bella," he sat behind his desk, a family photo sat between he and I, I turned away when my eyes fell on a cocky-looking Edward. Dad sat beside me looking at him intently, "it's a good thing we did these tests when we did."

"Why Carlisle?" Dad asked scooting up in his chair a little frantic.

"Because Bella has a high risk of developing childhood diabetes," he looked at both of us heavily. "On top of having a high BMI."

"Is that bad? Am I going to die?" I asked looking at Dad, terrified.

"No no honey it's not like that." Dr. Cullen told me nervously. "It just medical talk for having a little too much fat in your body but don't worry if we draw up a healthy well-balanced diet and you exercise at least one hour a day we can bring it down to a healthy level."

"Oh." I hated diets.

"We've tried doing the diet thing Carlisle, it never worked."

"True. I'm sorry to say this but Renee knew nothing about a healthy diet. I assume she tried giving her nothing but green vegetables right?"

"Yes." Dad nodded.

"The human body needs more than just greens and this is coming from a doctor," he winked at me making me laugh, "we need protein, carbs and even fats to be truly healthy. We have an in house nutritionist and I'm going to refer you to her. Don't worry Leslie is part of your insurance coverage." He assured my father who once again looked relieved.

I had so many doctors I felt like I was some frail thing that would collapse at the slightest touch and I voiced my opinion to Dr. Carter who assured me I wasn't fragile, "just a work in progress, don't worry Bella we are all going to help you become a better person." She smiled taking out her crayons and coloring books. "Let's color today ok?"

"Sure." I found this oddly simple for going to a doctor but I didn't resist, I did as I was told.

I began following the diet Dr. Collins gave me and it was easier to follow because everything was in simple words and lists. My P.E. class counted as exercise but Alice and I played running games either at her house or mine. I was still what you call "big boned" I guess, but I wasn't fat. Or so everyone told me. Alice and Rose were a size 4 and I was a size 12; I had wider hips and had developed an hourglass figure while Alice had a petite boyish figure and Rosalie had a perfect slim A-line body.

"Thanks Alice." I pulled myself from my thoughts this time as I placed the invitation in my messenger bag, thinking of my dress.

"Are you excited for my Halloween Masquerade birthday party Bella?" I knew that high-pitched squeal, she was about to jump and clap.

"Yes." I laughed rolling my eyes as we turned the corner on to English class. Alice and I shared that class along with our other friends Rosalie Hale, Victoria Redding and Angela Webber.

"I went to my last fitting last night!" There it was, the clapping and squealing. We reached our seats and put our school bags down. "You won't let me see your dress huh?"

"It's not fair Alice," I took out my notebook, "you want to see my dress but I can't see yours? Not cool." I shook my head, laughing at her begging to see my blue gown with matching mask and feathers.

"Oh come on!" She whined.

"Leave her alone Alice," Rose said from her own seat as she took out her books, "she has a point."

"What's your dress like anyway?" She shot back trying to get it out of her too. We'd all agreed we wouldn't let any of us see an inch of our dresses until the party.

"It's puffy and..." Rose stung her along, I rolled my eyes again as Angela and Victoria entered the classroom. I greeted them and vice versa.

"And...?" Alice asked, suspense all over her face.

"And awesome!" She sat down and laughed at Alice's fish face.

"Oh come on!" She recovered quickly.

"Bella's right Alice," Vicky said sucking on a red lollypop.

"Hmmph." She huffed turning her face, she did this when she didn't get her way. I rolled my eyes at her childish behavior just as Ms. Donner walked in calling for the class to settle down.

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It was the day of the party and I was running around the house finishing up my chores before heading out to the Cullens. It was Saturday and Dad was home on his day off, we'd canceled my appointment with Dr. Carter this week because of said party.

"Dad!" I called out jumping the last stair going to the kitchen where I knew he was.

"What is it Bella?" He was in jeans and a plain white shirt at the table drinking some coffee.

"I'm about to finished with my chores, I'm taking my dress to the Cullens and getting dress there."

"Great honey. Are you still sleeping over?"

"Yes." Alice had wanted to have a sleepover with all of us after the rest of the guests left. I had my overnight bag set and ready upstairs next to my dress which was covered by a huge black garment bag. I looked at the kitchen clock making sure I was on schedule, I abhorred being late to anything.

_3:30... I need to go to the Cullens now or have no time to get ready._

"You can go now if you want Bella." Dad chuckled reading my face, I bit my lip thinking I made him think couldn't wait to leave. "I'm waiting for Harry anyway," He pointed to the backdoor that was beside the fridge. I noticed his fishing gear out and ready as if he was going down to the river.

"You're going fishing?"

"Yeah, apparently there's some good catch upstream at night. I don't believe him and have $100 on the line to prove him wrong."

"You gamble?" I raised my brow a little shocked that the Chief of Police was breaking the law.

"It's a friendly bet sweetie." He winked playfully, as he crossed his index and middle finger together. I laughed playing along and saying my goodbyes and wishing him luck on both his fishing and winning the bet.

"Have fun honey, say hello to the Cullens for me."

"Ok."

"Oh and tell Edward not to drive faster than 25 on a school zone or I _will_ give him a ticket for it next time I see him do it ok?" He looked at me sternly. _Oh. So Mr. Prince has a lead foot. Interesting._

"Ok Dad, I'll make sure he gets your message." I ran up the stairs and into my small lilac bedroom, I heard the phone ring and Dad answer.

"Bella it's Alice!"

Surprised she was calling me so early I hastily grabbed my dress from where it hung on my closet door and ran down the stairs, "coming!" I called out as I tried not to trip over my two left feet and big puffy dress. "Thanks Dad."

He handed the phone to me, "no problem Bells."

"Hello?" I answered breathlessly.

"Bella! We have a CODE RED!" She yelled into my ear forcing me to push it away.

"What? Why?"

"It doesn't want to zip up! What am I going- _SHUT THE FUCK EDWARD I AM NOT AS BIG AS FAT MONICA_!" I rolled my eyes at the dumbass who was probably laughing at her sister's tantrum. "_Hey_!" I heard struggling.

"Can I medicate her?" I gasped a little hearing his voice over the phone.

It sounded different... deep and rich. I blushed and cleared my throat. "No, don't you dare."

"What?" He asked lazily, I could hear Alice's efforts to take back the phone, "I have access to Dad's prescription pad." I noticed Alice's complaints died down.

"Edward," I growled.

"Say it again just like that baby." He whispered into the phone. I blushed looking at the floor as if he was standing right in front of me. My heart beat went nuts again.

"Shut up."

He laughed into the phone, a rich velvet shooting straight down my spine.

"What? She's not in the room anymore, probably going to another other line in the kitchen or office." I said nothing feeling a slight relief. Our _encounters_ were a secret between us.

No one knew he'd stolen my first kiss or that we'd made out in his car last year. He pulled my hair and threw mud at me when we were kids, now that we'd grown up his teasing had taken a..._sexual _turn. "So what are you wearing tonight?" He asked going back to his normal voice not really helping me on trying to not focus on how smooth and hypnotizing it was.

"A dress." I swirled my finger through the phone cord.

"Er duh. What does it _look_ like?" He emphasized.

"Why do you want to know? We're not supposed to tell who we are. It's a _masquerade _hence the masks." I mimicked his faux ditzy tone.

He chuckled making the back of my hairs stand out, loving the sound of it. I shook my head trying not to fall into his stupid spell. "Alright, alright. I'll play the game." I felt excitement in his promise even though I was forcing myself not to do so. _I was failing miserably._

"Hang up Edward!" I heard the click of a third line on the line. Alice had reached the another phone. I grasped my heart thinking of her hearing the last part of my conversation with her brother.

"Fine Drama Queen." I heard his line cut off making me scowl a little. "Sorry about that, he's such a jerk some times. What were talking about again?"

"Code Red and the zipper not working."

"That's right, come over now if your Dad let's you- ugh you're back?" I could tell she didn't direct the last part to me. "Hey, Bella when are you coming by?"

"I was about to leave when I got your call."

"Perfect! _Hey Jerkface! Get the keys to the Volvo, you're picking up Bellla!_"

"Wait what-" I didn't want to be confined to his car once again.

"_Great!_ Hey Bella, Edward's on his way to pick you up ok? See you in fifteen!" Her line cut off. I looked at the phone not knowing what to think. He was on his way to pick me up.

The thought of his silver Volvo driving towards my house gripped my heart not knowing if it was good or bad. _I'm so confused._

"Are you on your way out honey?" Charlie walked into the hallway from the kitchen once again.

"Yeah but Edward's picking me up, Alice is having a meltdown over her dress." I laughed a little, Charlie chuckled knowingly but soon his expression turned sour.

"Don't give him my message, I'll tell him myself." I blinked remembering his message. _Uh oh.__  
_

"Um, ok sure." I felt my arm begin to protest in discomfort, I had been holding on my heavy dress with my left hand holding it up from the floor so it wouldn't touch the floor.

"Here I'll help you." Charlie took my dress, he held it up high just like I'd done. He opened the closet door and hooked the hanger to the door.

"Thanks." I smiled.

I waited for Edward in the living room, hearing his car pull into the driveway five minutes later. I got up and went for my dress, Charlie got up from his La-Z Boy recliner and waited for me to walk out first. Edward rang the bell as I opened the door surprising him. I laughed seeing his eyes going wide once they fell on my dress.

"I'll take it." He took the dress and looked behind me, he stood up straighter clearing his throat. "Hello Chief Swan."

"Hey Edward." I crossed the threshold and turned around to watch Dad in action, "you're going to drive at the speed limit now that my Bella's going to be in your car with you right?" I wanted to laugh out loud, seeing my father wearing his invisible Chief hat.

The image of Charlie in an old fashioned English constable's uniform complete with hat cracked me up.

"Oh god." I tried covering up my laughter with my hand as both of them stared at me with the same look of confusion. _I am too weird. _Edward quirked an eyebrow, the corners of his mouth rose to a smirk. I knew that look, he was telling me he would ask me about this in the car. "Sorry, sorry I-I just," I pointed at Charlie still seeing the uniform on him. "Oh god!"

_Charlie the Bobby._

The thought made me double over, I couldn't stop laughing now.

"Bella are you ok?" Dad asked me stepping towards me, studying me. I wiped a stray teardrop trying to catch my breath, my side began to hurt and I clutched it trying to regain control of myself.

"Yeah, yeah. It's just that you-" I motioned to the air above my head, "with the uniform-" I motioned up and down his height.

"What?"

"Charlie the Bobby!" I yelled to Edward who was trying hard not to laugh at me. Charlie looked to Edward who shrugged at him, smile on his face.

"'The Bobby'?" Charlie asked me trying to understand the reason for my outburst. He studied my eyes and body language for any kind of sign. _Oh god. Now he thinks I might be on something!_

"Do you mean as in the British colloquial term for a policeman?" Edward stepped down the lone step of our front door and stood next to Charlie.

I would see Edward in town, when I would over his house every now and then but I never realized how tall he'd become in the last year. _He's growing a foot a year, jeez_. He had gotten so tall that he was just about to outstrip Charlie, _and he's well over six feet tall._ I blinked as I tried to process this information.

"That's what you meant, right Bella?" Edward asked after a moment of not answering his original question.

"Yes! Yes!" I nodded, feeling myself come down from my psychotic breakdown. I turned to Dad, "maybe you should dress up as a constable, Dad!"

"And have you laugh at me," he laughed visibly relaxing, "no thanks." He chuckled, shaking his head.

"Oh come on! You would look so cute with the hat and everything!" I hugged him, trying to coax him to do it.

"Harry and the crew would never let me hear the end of it." He laughed freely now, Edward watched us grinning. I suddenly felt subconscious.

"Just think about it ok?" I went for the Volvo remembering Alice was waiting for me, "I'm going to the Cullens now, ready Edward?" He looked at me as if waking up, "what?"

"Let's go." Knowing he didn't lock the door, I opened it and made myself in.

"Oh sure." He turned to Dad, "don't worry sir, I'll make sure I drive safely." I said goodbye making his way to the trunk.

"No wait," I got out, "could we put it in the backseat?" I didn't want it to wrinkle, Edward realized this and nodded opening the right back door and carefully laid the dress down.

"Bye Dad," I got back in the car waving goodbye.

"Have fun sweetie." He grinned, putting his hands in his pockets as he leaned on the heels of his feet.

"I'll try." I rolled my eyes, he knew I wasn't much of a partier and was only putting in an effort in honor of Alice, otherwise I would have probably stayed home and feigned sickness. Edward started the car and waving one last time, he pulled out of my driveway and made his way down the street.

"So is that really why you were laughing so hard?" He pointed back with his thumb as he glanced at me quickly.

"Yeah," the elation I'd felt from the image of Charlie had made me forget my dread of being in his car, alone.

My relationship with Edward was complex and confusing. I hated him when we were growing up because of his stupid antics; always pulling my hair and teasing the shit out of me. When I mentioned this to Dr. Carter she smirked, "are you sure he's not trying to catch your attention?" She would ask me.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

She didn't answer right away asking further questions, saying things like "hmm... interesting..." or "oh, I see..." I guessed she wanted me to figure it out by myself, _it's a test_. Three years later and I couldn't figure it out, I guessed I failed that test and didn't bother to wonder why Edward had been such a jerk to me. _Maybe he's just a jerk, he's still an ass to you every now and then._

I gave up trying to figure him out, he was too confusing to do so. Now I just rolled with the punches and gave them back just as much as he did me. I have to say, finding my voice and putting in his place made me laugh now. It was a war of the wills slash wit.

The problem? I was finding myself turned on by Edward.

"Are you sure you haven't been standing too close to Mike Newton and his goons? They smoke pot every chance they get." I rolled my eyes. He knew I wasn't into drug use.

"No." I remembered his habit though, "have you given up on the habit?" I smirked knowingly. He laughed knowing I pushed a button, he'd gotten over his fear of my telling his parents he smoked. I had used it as insurance to get him to back off from his teasing last year, he knew I would never tell his parents because I wasn't the tattle tale type.

He was lucky.

"I haven't. I told you," he turned on to Maple Avenue towards Main Street for the outskirts of town where his house was. "I only do it when I'm stressed."

"Sure whatever."

"You don't believe me huh?" He huffed, annoyed.

"Er. Duh." I threw back his earlier sarcastic remark.

"Can't we just move on from my stupid immaturity?" He sounded frustrated, I wrapped my arms around myself, pouting in thought.

"No."

"Fine." He sounded angry, "like I said before, I'll play the game." He said darkly. I looked at him trying to understand his vague statement. "What game?" He gave out a similarly dark chuckle, shaking his head slowly. We'd reached the long drive that led to his parents' mansion.

"Oh ho ho, don't act like you don't know Bella." He growled, it went straight to my spine again. I cleared my throat staring out to the red, orange and dark brown foliage that surrounded the area. It was breathtaking being here during the fall. "I don't but whatever." I answered angrily. He always had to speak in fucking code.

He clicked his tongue angrily as he pulled into his garage, taking up Emmett's old spot. He was in his third year at Woodbury University, the school had asked him to join their study abroad program in the summer. He went to Barcelona, Rome and Berlin for two whole months studying the cities' different architectural identities.

He knew I liked fans and brought me an authentic red Spanish fan, an ivory lace Venetian fan when they went on a one day excursion to Venice and German chocolate that I still had stored away not wanting to finish it right away. _And Dr. Collins would not_ _approve_.

Alice had always had a thing for masquerades so he asked Emmett to bring her an Italian masquerade mask. She even drew up the mask itself, Emmett had to track down artisan to create Alice's vision. He paid extra to make sure it was finished during the seven-day span he would be in Rome for.

At the end of the day, Alice's small, thin black metal mask was done just like she'd stipulated. It was beautiful and delicate, he'd made the mask out of thin strips of metal creating a vine-like mask wrapping around her upper face, outlining her eyes into a coquettish look. It was so Alice.

The mask had inspired her to have the masquerade-themed birthday party, good thing her birthday was days away from Halloween giving it an interesting twist.

The point of masquerades was for the Renaissance aristocracy to hide behind intricate and dramatic masks covering the whole of their face, wearing extravagant dresses and openly indulge in the sins of man, alcohol, sex, pride, envy and greed. I told Alice that showing her face counterattacked the whole point of the essence of the tradition.

"What's the point of throwing a masquerade birthday party if no one knows who the birthday girl is?" She told me as-a-matter-of-factly twirling her fork as we ate a fruit salad during lunch.

"I'll help you with your dress." Edward told me as I got out of his car, he opened the left back door and carefully took out my dress. I walked around the Volvo to where he was.

"Ok." I followed him into the house through the kitchen and greeted Eliza, the Cullen's housekeeper.

"Hey sweetie how are you?" She kissed me in the cheek, hugging me fiercely.

"I'm great, how are _you_?" I asked her, looking at her bright hazel eyes. She laughed shaking her head, "I'm about to leave. Esme hired a catering company and they're bringing their own wait staff. They gave me the day off."

"Bella where do you want this?" Edward carried my dress with both hands, making me think of how a groom carries their new bride. I blushed at the thought.

"My room?"

"Alright." He went went up through the small kitchen staircase instead of taking the larger one in the main part of the house.

Esme had turned their guest room into my permanent bedroom ever since Renee left us. To accommodate possible future guests, she asked Dr. Cullen to build a guest house behind the mansion. Charlie and I thanked her but tried turning her down.

She didn't listen and put her foot down, Dr. Cullen advised us not go to war with her because sooner or later she would have her way. He'd been right. So now I had a permanent room in their home and stayed there when ever I stayed over and if Alice didn't want to have sleepovers in her room.

It was a gorgeous fresh blue and milk white bedroom with a four poster bed with no canopy. A small desk and writing table next to one of the windows whit sheer white curtains, and dark blue carpet; much like Edward's and a dove blue sofa on the opposite wall of the bed.

The only bad thing was that I had to share the en suite bathroom with Edward.

The same one I'd seen when I went into his room and the idiot stole my first kiss. It had been designed for two people, having two doors on either side thus connecting my bedroom to his just like in _Sister, Sister_.

The first night I'd stayed the night in my new bedroom I'd forgotten to lock the bathroom door in my bedroom and he sneaked in. Grabbing me by the ankle and pulling me off the bed screaming like a maniac in a horror movie. I woke up screaming and kicked him in the face with my other foot effectively throwing him off balance. I landed on him as he fell and accidentally hit him under the belt.

Yeah, he got his comeuppance.

Bitch.

Alice and their parents ran into my bedroom thinking someone had broken in and was in my room. Seeing us on the floor and Edward howling like wounded wolf asked what had happened. I told them, they were not impressed. Mrs. Cullen had decided not to punish him because I'd unwittingly taken care of it. Alice cried from her laughing harder than she'd ever laughed and told me to stay in her room that night.

Dr. Cullen took Edward to his room and examined him which probably was an even bigger embarrassment than what I'd done and the dumbass didn't come downstairs the morning after saying he felt sick.

Bitch.

Ever since that day I locked my bathroom door even in the day.

"Alice is waiting for you upstairs, I told her not to eat a big breakfast but she didn't listen." Eliza took off the apron she'd been using to rinse some champagne flutes. "I just think she was bloated when she tried her gown on this morning."

"Good point." I nodded, starting for the staircase. "Bye Eliza!"

"Have fun tonight, girlie!"

I ran upstairs and went down the hallway deciding to check on my dress before going to Alice who I could hear talking on the phone in her open bedroom. I went into my bedroom to find Edward lounging around in my couch reading my beat up copy of _How to Kill a Mockingbird _as he listened to my Def Leppard album. Judging by the lyrics I deduced it was one thirds done.

I closed my door, crossed my arms and scowled, waiting for him to notice me. He looked up at me after a moment as if we were in his room and not mine. I cocked my bitch brow, motioned for an explanation.

He put down the book, grinned devilishly and began singing the song following it perfectly.

"_Break the bubble, break it up; p__our some sugar on me." _He got up from my couch slowly and keeping his eyes on me. _Oh shit. "__Ooh, in the name of love- pour some sugar on me!" _I stood planted in my spot, not knowing what to do. Dejavu hit me suddenly.

He mouthed the words dramatically as if he was on stage signing to a mass of people like the artists were known to do. His eyes were still trained on me... getting closer. "_C'mon, fire me up!"_ He reached me, my heart buzzed in my chest, I tried waking my limbs up but they wouldn't listen. I was stuck. Again._ "__Pour your sugar on me! __Oh, I can't get enough." _He continued to mouth the song, his green eyes dancing.

_"I'm hot sticky sweet, from my head to my feet yeah!" _I licked my lips thinking of him, covered in sugar, his eyes darkening.

The song reached the guitar solo as he chuckled menacingly, he took out the stereo control and raised the volume just like I did when I wanted to appreciate the music behind the lyrics to this very song. He reached behind me suddenly locking my door.

_"You've got the peaches," _he pointed at me,_ "I've got the cream," _he pointed at himself. My mouth dropped,_ "Sweet to taste, saccharine." _Fuuuuck...he didn't stop mouthing the songs, we were in a weird musical bubble,_ "'cause I'm hot, say what, sticky sweet," _he motioned to himself,_ "from my head, my head, to my feet." _He pointed to his head and feet just like the song.

He grabbed me quickly taking me by the hand and pushing me against the bathroom door, his body flush against mine reminding me of the time we made out in his car. His breathing was labored. Finishing the stanza he asked me out loud following the song, _"Do you take sugar? one lump or two?"_

Oh fuck. I'm screwed.

My breath hitched, he took his chance and pinned my head against the door attaching his lips to mine. He grabbed my head roughly and held me in place grinding our lips together. Once again I didn't know what to do and feeling the strong current run through my body.

I knew he enjoyed "playing" with me, I couldn't deny that our relationship had sexual undertones, that much was clear. But I wasn't the shy, intimidated child I'd been in the past. I knew I held some kind of power over him and I planned to use it just like he'd done before.

It was only fair.

The song was on its last minute and I told myself I would only allow to get swept up as far as the song. No more no less.

He growled into my lips when I threw my hands into his hair and pulled not so delicately remembering all of the times he'd pulled on mine. This fueled him further, pushing me into the door the knob causing me minor discomfort. I didn't give a rat's ass at the minor thought of a bruise and fought back in the kiss biting and sucking violently.

Our eyes met briefly adding kindling to the fire. I pushed him off me taking him by surprise, I pushed him at arm's length to my bed shocking the hell out of him. When his legs hit my bed pushed him down. I heard the final lyrics of the song, smirking, _almost over... too bad._ He was completely speechless.

_Are you serious? You're going to do that?"_ My subconscious asked not believing the idea forming in my mind.

Without answering her mental question, I went forward and opened my mouth just as I reached his agape one. I lunged my tongue down his throat and Frenched the shit out of that kiss. He moaned, following my lead.

The song ended and I pulled away grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Seeing him laying on my bed, soft auburn hair messy, cheeks flushed, eyes hooded and lips red and swollen made me want to keep going but I knew that was the end of this encounter.

I pushed myself off of him making him grunt in disapproval.

"Get out of my room Edward." I turned around and walked to the main door, flipping my hair as I did, he stared at me open-mouthed.

_Bella: 12,007; Edward: 12,011._

* * *

**EPOV**

_Challenge__ accepted, Swan._

I looked at my boner still partially laying on her bed. Her scent was everywhere overwhelming me in the best possible way. I remembered the way she sauntered off after our _intense_makeout session, her delicious hips swaying, giving me a perfect view of her round ass.

I threw my head back in defeat, groaning at the memories we'd just made a moment ago.

I'd hated the idea of Alice throwing an extravagant birthday party that wasn't even her sixteenth birthday, "practice" she called it when I'd asked her. But now, I couldn't wait to get the party started.

After all, masquerades where created to indulge in the dangerous and taboo.

_Watch out, Swan. Let's see if you can play the game as well as you think you can..._

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**One of my sisters is indeed going to Woodbury University to study Architecture and she got to go on Emmett's trip last year. Red is my favorite color and yes, I'm obsessed with hand fans, they're part of my heritage. Anyway, she brought me the fans and she got herself Alice's mask.**

**I was so jealous because she got to go to la madre patria (Spain :])**

**Lucky bitch lol.**


	6. Fleurs Du Mal

**This is a short chapter but trust me it ends with a bang...**

**Enjoy ;))**

**P.S. Listen to the title song if you're interested. It's one of my Brightman favorites :D_  
_**

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Sarah Brightman- _Fleurs Du Mal_

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_2001 (cont.)_

**BPOV**

I tried maneuvering around the throng of people trying to make way towards the refreshment table. Britney Spears, N'Sync and Christina Aguilera sang their songs all over the hidden speakers. Alice had chosen an orange theme, and her mom dimmed the lights to give off a light peach hue.

Alice's party was in full swing, everyone had come dressed to the nines knowing they couldn't show up in just a regular dress for one of the Cullens' parties; especially Alice's birthday party.

People had gone authenticity in various degrees. There was some guy wearing what seemed to be an 18th century pirate costume wearing a white ruffled shirt -kind of like _Sienfeld_'s puffy shit but not as ridiculous. A black leather vest with gold embellishments, a weathered leather coat; the lapels were lined with dark red satin that peaked through the inside of the tails. He wore black boots that went to his knee and his mask was plain black that outlined the right side of his well-defined jaw.

_I think that's Edward._ I didn't know for sure because the guy was wearing a black and gold pirate's hat with red feathers making it difficult to see his hair. It would have been ridiculously easy if Edward didn't take into account his tell tale hair from the throng of blondes, brunettes and raven-haired boys. Knowing Edward, he wasn't going to let his genes give up his identity when everyone was trying to ask each other questions trying to figure out who they'd gone to the garden and made out with.

No. Edward loved the thrill of the chase there was no way in hell he would give in before the game even started.

_"Fine, I'll play the game."_ Thinking to earlier in the afternoon sent chills up my spine. Edward's kisses were still fresh in my mind... and lips.

The Pirate had been standing next to one of the many refreshment tables in and around the living room and entrance of the house. He drank punch from a clear plastic cup looking at everyone with bored contempt.

Wanting to know if it indeed was my nemesis I made my way to the opposite side of the table. Acting as if I didn't notice him I helped myself to some punch. I watched him through my peripheral vision noticing if he was watching me, but he wasn't. He still watched the people around him, sipping on his punch.

A small pang of disappointment hit me quickly, I turned around making my huge skirt swoop in the motion. It swayed by itself when I faced the crowd, getting rid of the extra momentum.

Inspired by my dove blue couch I'd chosen an equally dove and slate blue gown, we saw at a specialty shop in Port Angeles. It had a dove blue skirt with an asymmetrical overlay of slate blue creating A-line outline in the skirt and a small train behind me. Navy-almost black bows had been placed in the corset, the edges of the dress and square neckline had on the same color trim, the sleeves came to under my elbow where they'd placed thin strips of the navy material oulining the bend in my arm. The material ruffled out under the sleeves, also asymmetrically cut. _I loved it._

I waited for him to make a comment but he didn't. He just drank his punch.

_Edward would have made a sarcastic comment on the authenticity of Mike Newton's poor choice of mask, giving himself away. _I watched Mike in a horrible count's costume, hitting on some blonde girl in a bright lime green..._thing_.

"1980's reject." I whispered under my breath, thinking of the neon colors that were popular then knowing that particular hue probably was thought of as too _cheap _to be used even then.

I turned my chin to The Pirate, Edward would have wanted to best me in wit, taking my bait this this guy said nothing and looked continued to look at the people around him.

_Hmm... maybe it's not Edward..._

Giving up on The Pirate I put down my cup and walked to where Alice was dancing with a pink-and-black Rosalie.

Alice had chosen an orange and dark brown gown. Her dress was the one with the most volume in the entire room making her look like a live china doll. The bottom part of the skirt was orange and the upper was dark brown with a huge orange bow under her left hip. The corset was sweet-heart shaped and totally brown with etchings of orange. She had fastened her mask over her crazy hair, I could make out the black satin of the straps even from across the room.

"Excuse me." I said to a guy with a stupid eagle-like mask. _Eric Yorkie._

"Hey baby and who might you be?"

"Too good for you." I rolled my eyes ignoring his protests and finally reached Alice who was standing next to Rose.

"B-" Alice turned around hearing me, when I shook my head to keep her from giving me away, she awkwardly covered up, "Hey... you."

"Alice!"

"I'm sorry!" She giggled, "but everyone knows it's you! Who else would chose such a demure and elegant gown in town?" I looked around, she had a point. All of the girls were wearing low-cut too-tight corsets and way too much makeup.

"Don't worry Bella," Rosalie told me, she was drinking punch too. "Everyone knows who everyone else is. They're just acting as if they can't tell to play the dumb game. The whole 'friendly stranger' fantasy is pretty popular." Her fuchsia and black dress was gorgeous.

She had decided on a rock 'n roll feel, completely not caring about not being true to the era. Her dress had a small skirt, still round but not as full as Alice's gor mine. The dress was pink with a black bow tied around her small waist, the corset was also sweetheart-shaped and had small black rhinestones all over it. She wore black opera gloves with a black mask and pink feathers. Her hair was up in a simple chignon.

"Hey Alice!" The screech of Tanya Delani reached my ear making me wince in pain.

"Oh. Tanya. Irina." Alice plastered on a fake smile turning to her. Rose rolled her eyes and excused herself for some more punch, I wanted to go with her but I knew Tanya and Irina would have a field day if I left because of them. They would see it as fleeing.

I turned to look at the Delanis. I almost laughed out loud when I realized she was the 80s reject I had been baiting The Pirate with. Irina had on some weird puce colored gown, with cheap looking rhinestones _all _over her dress making her look like the poor man's Rosalie Hale. _Then again everyone looked like the poor man's Rosalie Hale..._

"Oh Bella." She sneered, her flat ice blue eyes rounded me up.

"I thought it was you." Tanya giggled to herself, "who else chooses such a _mom _dress?" Tanya joined her cousin in studying me.

Oh hell no.

"Just because I didn't go for something in Richard Simmons' closet," I motioned to her dress in disgust, "or tried to look like I had too much fun in the glitter aisle at Michael's doesn't mean I'm wearing a 'mom' dress." I quoted her.

They got ready for a counterattack when Alice came to the 'rescue.'

"Hey did you try the artichoke dip we ordered? It's amazing with the pita chips." She grabbed my arm and tried pulling me away. The Delanis snorted in laughter, "yeah Alice go _feed_ Bella. She hasn't had a bite in _minutes_, she must be _starving_."

My mouth dropped, _hell to the fucking no. _Throwing away my lady card I lunged forward towards Tanya, going for her hair. She gave out a blood curling scream when I yanked off the dumb feather clip she had on attached to her stupid blonde hair.

Irina and Alice stood grounded, mouths open. With all of the force I could muster I slapped Tanya across the face, she was utterly speechless but recovered quickly. "YOU FUCKING BITCH!" She went for me but I was too fast. My dedication to exercise had sharpened my reflexes helping me out at the moment. I grabbed the front of my dress moving to the side as she tripped over her own dress falling on her face. "Oof!" She exclaimed.

"Oh look," I looked at the guests, nonplussed, "she fell. How embarrassing don't you think?" The intricate chignon Esme had made out of my hair became slightly undone, making some fall on my face as it became lose.

I walked to the kitchen coolly, "I'll bring you a drumstick from the kitchen Tanya. You look so sullen and dead from not eating." Bitch.

"Let me get her!" Tanya had recovered and was trying to reach me but Irina had her by the arm. Christina Aguilera was singing about a genie in a bottle somewhere around the room. I ginned at myself.

The people in front of me made a path for me to pass by. I held my head up high and squared my shoulders as I took off my mask. I got to the kitchen where the catering staff was rushing out finger sandwiches. Esme was talking to the woman in charge about the number of guests.

"Bella?" I didn't feel like talking about Tanya. "Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm just a little tired." Esme had opted not to dress up because she would be chaperoning and didn't want a gown to her in her way, so she wore an elegant Chanel-like black dress and black pointy heels.

"Oh ok." Her brown eyes searched my own, worried expression etched in her beautiful face. "Have you eaten?" I thought of Tanya's words making the small frog in my throat swell three times it size. I shook my head, she asked one of the waiters to hand over some sandwiches.

Taking two I went up the small staircase wanting to undress and sleep. I walked down the dark hallway passing Emmett's closed off bedroom and the second-floor bathroom. I turned the corner and walked down my hallway. I got to my room to find it locked.

"What the fuck?" I jiggled the door, remembering I hadn't locked it from the inside as I went downstairs. I stomped my foot in frustration and turned to Edward's bedroom. I would have to go through the bathroom to my room. His door was unlocked.

His room had stayed almost identical as when I first stepped into it, he had added miniature model cars all over his bedroom, different bands and groups he liked over the years and a large mirror facing the bed. Other than that, it was like stepping back in time.

Not wanting to stay long in his room I went for the bathroom.

"Locked yourself out?" His voice came from the darkest part of the room, by the bed. I screamed falling back and loosing my balance and falling on my ass.

Fucking karma.

He chuckled, not moving from his bed. I could make out his silhouette in the shroud of black.

"You motherfucking prick." I breathed trying to get up but couldn't because of the dumb underskirts. I heard his bed rustle under his weight and came over to help me up. The moon light from the nearby window hit him as gasped when I recognized The Pirate in him. "I was right!" I accused, shoving my index finger towards him, he'd taken off his mask.

He chuckled again, shaking his head. He extended his hand, which I took. He brought me up too fast for my liking taking me by surprise. He wrapped his arm around my waist pushing against his chest. Green eyes vibrant and hooded.

My breath hitched as I imagined myself in the years far gone, with my mysterious pirate about to have his way with me. _Ok I've read way too many romance novels._

Edward held on to me for a minute, eyes dark and mysterious. My heart began to beat against my chest, excitement all over me. He let me go, laughing loudly and turning around. I scowled at his dumb joke.

"Why didn't you tell me it was you downstairs?" I felt my cheeks burn, and tried covering up by turning up my bitchy levels.

"Because it wouldn't have been fun to just go up to you and say 'hey beautiful. It's me." My heart skipped a beat when I realized he called me beautiful. _Well... technically he always calls you that..._

Shut up, it's not the same thing.

I blushed furiously at my inner monologue. He turned on the lights, blinding me slightly then dimmed them, I cocked an eyebrow not believing him.

"What?" He asked innocently, "I had that installed for my sexcapades if you know what I mean." He winked. I huffed turning for the bathroom. "Leaving so soon?" I ignored his fake surprise and went into the bathroom. I tried opening my door and remembered I always locked that stupid door.

"Agh!" I kicked the door through my dress. "Fuck!"

Edward leaned on his doorway, "oh. You locked that door too?" He didn't sound sympathetic at all, if anything he was enjoying my locking myself out of my room.

"Shut the fuck up Edward." I growled looking over my shoulder as I fought against the door knob.

"Hmm..." He walked back to his room, opening his window.

His attitude rubbed me the wrong way, it was almost as if he knew I'd locked myself out. I turned around the whole thing clicking in my brain. "You!" I sprinted out of the bathroom, "you locked me out!" He looked at me with a blase expression going into his coat to retrieve something, pulling out a cigarette. I gasped, "you're going to smoke in your room?!" I looked at his door imaging Esme walking in at that moment.

"Mom is too distracted with the party." He shrugged, sitting on his desk, back to the window. He took out a dark green lighter and lit his cigarette. I stared at him blankly. He shook the lighter off and took his first puff, eyes on me turning his chin to the window and blowing the smoke out.

His costume, the cigarette, his I-don't-give-a-shit attitude stirred something deep inside. He looked so...hot. He held his cigarette a little away from his face, his eyes bared into mine. "Why so tense love?"

"Shut up Edward." Was the wittiest thing I could come up, internally loving the fact that he called me 'love.'

"A regular Bea Arthur." He took another breath of cigarette. I rolled my eyes, he knew I loved the acerbic wit of Bea Arthur hence being ironic. He went back to his coat and brought out a black flask, _what the fuck?_ "Here." He threw it to me, I went for it easily catching it.

"My what a realistic costume you got yourself." I opened the flask and sniffed it tentatively. The strong smell of alcohol reached my nose making me want to pull away. "No thanks." _He drinks too?_

"You'll feel better." He told me as a matter of factly.

"I don't care." I forced the flask in his free hand, he rolled his eyes taking a drink and winced at the burn. "you smoke and drink all under the age of eighteen. Wow Edward, who are you trying to be?" I said half serious. "Next me you'll be telling me you got a tattoo on the inside of your left calf." He grinned devilishly, "wait... you didn't!" My mouth stood agape.

"Not yet, but I want a naked woman climaxing wrapped around by body." My mouth dropped further, I didn't know if he was being literal or pulling my leg. I blushed at the image of a naked Edward having sex with some bombshell, her face contorting in ecstasy. I looked at the floor feeling an intense burning in both my face and heart. Edward gave out a breathy laugh, "you're so straight laced Bella." I looked at him, pissed that he was being a jerk, "I love it." He whispered darkly. "I just want to dirty you up."

_Whoa._

He finished his cigarette and threw it out the window into the darkness. "You can start a fire like that you know." I tried changing the subject.

"I stubbed the filter," he shrugged jumping off his desk and standing over me, nerves hit me harder than ever before. "So." He began, his voice became detached and cold, "you ran off earlier today." It was an accusation.

_Oh fuck._

"Figures," he didn't wait for an answer, "you probably got scared and needed to run away." He looked at the ceiling, shrugging a little. I huffed up, "you wish."

He didn't believe me, making me madder. "You say that... but..." He led off thickly.

"I'm not going to fall for your bait Edward." I growled hitting him in the chest. I felt my body begin to buzz in anticipation for his touch. I fought against it, knowing I couldn't give in. He would win this round if I did. He laughed turning to his bed.

"You can't even be in my room because you're so scared." He took off his coat, I turned away thinking he would strip naked in front of me. The coat fell to the floor with a heavy thud. He undid the first two buttons exposing his sharp clavicle. I swallowed hard, imagining myself licking it. He threw me a knowing grin as he kicked off his boots and socks. But most shocking was the fact that he took off his pants, making me gasp loudly, he wore dark red boxers. I stared at the front of his body, eyes glued to _him. _My body fluttered, I licked my dry lips. "Like what you see?"

"Shut up Edward." I turned away only to be faced with the his mirror, his reflection grinned triumphantly, "ugh!" I stomped my foot.

"See? You're acting as if I ground myself against you... although..." His voice dropped two octaves laced with a sensual venom.

"Fuck you."

"Please and thank you."

"Edward must you be such a fucking pig?" I turned around furiously.

"Mmmm only if you want me to roll around in the dirt with you," he threw his head into his fluffy pillows, "like I said, I want to dirty you up." He closed his eyes, sighing delicately. "As I was saying," his voice turned a into a soft moan, I found myself feeling an odd discomfort in my lower stomach feeling some sort of liquid begin to pool around my legs. "You ran away leaving me in a state." His hand ghosted his lips, the dim lights gave him an oddly angelic look to him.

He was tempting me.

His long index finger slowly rang down into his jaw and down his neck, _what is he doing? _His finger reached his clavicle and ran down the side of his chest, he opened his eyes which became dangerously hooded, his lips were parted and his breathing became irregular, "I had to deal with my _problem_ by myself, which upset me." His voice sounded just as detached but this time it quivered by the end of his statement. "I mean you helped me reach that state Bella," he ended up moaning my name, without doing it on purpose I whimpered.

He grinned knowingly, and went back to closing his eyes, his finger reached dangerous land. I felt the need to turn away but as if under a spell, I couldn't make my limbs move. His hand found _it_ and he palmed himself. I gasped but coming out more of a moan.

Edward groaned with relief, his head digging into his pillows. He started to rub himself up and down slowly. "I've had a fucking boner since you left me in your room." His breathing was labored, "no matter how many times I jerked off, I found myself hard over and over and _over..." _He gave out a heady groan starting to move his hips against his own movements. I bit deep into my lips, hearing my own erratic breaths.

"Must you always do that?" He opened his eyes and locked with my lip. I let go of my lip realizing he was talking about it. I didn't know if it was reproach so I just blushed looking at the floor. "No Isabella," he growled my full name. This took me by surprise, he hadn't called me that in _years _especially after finding out that he was the one that gave me my nickname. "Don't look away from me. I want you to see what you've been doing to me all of your life." I went back to him, not believing a word he was saying.

"You don't believe me?" He laughed, his voice had a weird bitter edge to it. "Maybe not like this." He emphasized his lower body, "but you've always fascinated me Isabella. Now that I have your attention after so many years you are not going to turn away from me again." He ordered, giving out a deep groan and going back to his pillows. "Enough of the playing around." He sounded frustrated and reached into his boxers to pull _it _out.

Still under the spell I didn't move or look away, something deep inside was enjoying this more than feeling disgusted. There was no disgust in me whatsoever and I licked my lips again as he showed me his member.

I had never seen a naked man before, not a real one anyway. It's not the same as the illustrations from last year's Health class. I also had no idea if Edward was "big" or "small" like the other girls who'd seen one in real life described them as. All I knew was that Edward's stood at full attention, big and wide.

He watched me intently as I took the vision in, he palmed himself giving out another groan. He wrapped his hand around the base and began to pump up and down still watching me.

I bit my lip to stop me from groaning, "fuck." He whispered pulling his eyes from me. He pumped harder and faster finding a steady rhythm. He let out groan after moan after breathless sigh. The beautiful Adonis in front of me suddenly tensed up, lifted his hips off the bed and let out a loud groan as his member squirted his load off.

"Mmmm..." He moaned, I felt a weird clench in my lower abdomen, my body acting on its own.

_Yeah? What's new?_

"Fuck." Edward went back to his bed running his hand through his silky hair. He kept his eyes closed for a moment trying to regain control, a satisfied grin on his swollen lips. "So," he let out a content sigh. His eyes opened and gleamed wickedly, "want to see that again baby?"

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**And with this I go off to work. 'til next time ;)~ I.E.**


	7. Dream On

**I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter! It brought me great relief! Thank you to all of you for continuing to read this story and to those of you who haven't reviewed I see you lerking there ;)**

**To those of you who listened to _Pour Some Sugar on Me _and _Fleurs du Mal, _hope you guys liked them; I'm obsessed with PSSoM and LOVE FdM :D**

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Aerosmith- _Dream On_

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**BPOV**

_2002._

He was being stupid _again_. He knew we had to study for our American History class and yet he played the music like there was no tomorrow. "I am going to kill him, I swear I will!" Alice got up from her seat on my bedroom floor after ignoring him for an hour.

"Wait, he's just baiting us." I highlighted a passage on the Civil Rights movement focusing on Malcolm X. Alice clicked her tongue and ignored me going through the bathroom to his bedroom.

I sighed knowing what would happen next. Aerosmith could be heard clearer now that both doors were open. _"Hey! What is your problem?! Just because you're graduating next Tuesday doesn't mean you have to ruin it for the rest of us mortals!" _I didn't hear his response but I knew it would be dry and unaffected. _"Ugh whatever. Just turn it down, yeah?"_

She came back and threw herself in her spot in front of her books. "So?"

"He's an idiot, I can't wait for him to move to New Hampshire." I knew she didn't mean it, she would miss him just like she missed Emmett in California. I tried not to think of my own feelings of loneliness rereading the chapter on the Black Panthers.

Edward's eighteenth birthday was the day before he graduated high school so his parents' had decided to throw him a huge Graduation/eighteenth birthday party. Something he was not happy about.

Thinking about birthday parties made me think back to Alice's masquerade. I flamed up, blushing as I remembered Edward's _releases_ that night. After locking me out of my room he showed me "what I did to him." After standing there speechless I fled to the bathroom locking myself in there. He laughed behind the door and slipped a small silver key under the door. I used it to open my bathroom door and kicked his to show him I was not impressed he'd done it purposely.

There was no way in hell I would give back the key and thought that was the end of it. That is until the next day when he took out an identical key and began running it through his bottom lip as he read a medical journal intently. I flared up, difficult to control my rage. He smirked to himself but not looking up decidedly.

_Yes, it was good he was going across the country._

It was safe.

"Let's get back to studying." I said, trying to distract my thoughts.

"Sure." Alice huffed, annoyed.

"_What year did Malcolm X break away from the Nation of Islam?_" I read the question off of the practice test, we spent the entire afternoon and part of the evening studying, continuing to ignore her brother who was becoming more and more intense in his efforts to bait me.

The family sat in the grand dining room, Esme had chosen roast beef, mashed potatoes and vegetables for tonight.

"What time is Emmett's plane touching down?" Dr. Carlisle asked his wife as he took his seat at the front of the table. He'd asked me to call him Carlisle but something about his status couldn't let me do it. Emmett was coming home to see Edward cross the stage and receive his diploma.

Alice sat to her father's left and I sat next to her. Esme sat to Dr. Cullen's right leaving the last setting empty. Edward was the last to take his seat directly across from me. He grinned devilishly when our eyes met, I looked away looking at his father with too much interest. Thankfully Dr. Cullen didn't notice.

"Pass the potatoes Bella." His stupid son asked me, he had decided to serve himself the side dishes as everyone else served each other the main dish. Knowing I couldn't ignore his request in front of his parents I passed the bowl trying to avoid his fingers brushing mine. He went out of his way to do so.

He smiled brightly when he placed his hands over mine, feeling the familiar current run through me. I sent him a warning look but he didn't care, we served himself and placed the bowl right next to him knowing I would be forced to request it back soon enough.

_No mashed potatoes tonight._ I thought about it for a moment, _eh that's ok._

I served myself some roast beef, not needing to focus on a healthy serving. It had become second nature to measure my portions in my head. I had lost more weight but stayed at a steady size 12. My waist became defined but my hips and chest grew out, not knowing if it was a bad sign I didn't bring it up to either Dr. Cullen or Collins.

Edward began to hum as he served himself some vegetables, the tune sounded familiar but couldn't place it.

"Why are you humming Marvin Gaye?" His mom asked him pointedly. _Marvin Gaye... wasn't he known for really sensual music?_

Wait..._Sexual Healing!_

"I heard it on the radio just now and the tune got stuck in my head," he said not missing a beat. To the untrained ear it would have been a plausible lie especially since he had listened to the radio all fucking day. But I knew better, I could hear the tiniest of ring of laughter behind his answer.

He placed the vegetables to the other side of his place setting, just like he'd done with the potatoes. "Edward don't hog the food, pass the dishes to Bella." His father said starting to cut his meat. Edward's smile faltered looking at me quickly.

"I'm sorry." He looked at me, he recovered quickly not sounding apologetic at all once again. "Alice did you finish your English term paper on _Jane Eyre_?" He asked placing the dishes near my reach, the ring in his voice was back much fuller.

"Oh!" Alice gasped totally shocked, "no I didn't!" She looked at her place, "Mom may I finish dinner upstairs? I'm not even half way finished with it and its due tomorrow morning!"

Esme gave an angry sigh, "don't tell me you're procrastinating Alice."

"I'm not, I swear it's just that American History teacher is such a bi-"

"Alice." Her father threatened. She saved herself awkwardly, "she is such a bi-ig meanie!"

"Sure." He said shaking his head in disapproval, he turned to me, "how about you Bella?"

"I finished mine last night while I waited for Dad to get out of work." I said blushing.

"Mom please?" Alice said sounding desperate.

"I could help you if you want." I offered meekly.

"No, it's ok Bella you need to study up on your Trig homework." She shook her head. This wasn't entirely true, I did have issues with understanding some theories but I'd gone to Mrs. Davidson after class and helped me out with it.

"Fine Alice you can go upstairs and finish your dinner there, but don't let this happen again, understood?"

"Yes!" She grabbed her plate and ran out of the dining room.

"Sweet child of mine." Dr. Cullen sighed taking a bite of his buttery potatoes.

"Guns 'N Roses." Edward said all smart alecky and shit.

"Aaahhh you make an 80s father proud, son." Dr. Cullen nodded, eyes misting a little. Esme and I looked at each other awkwardly, she ended up laughing. "Aren't they precious?" I cracked up hearing the sarcasm in her voice.

~.~.~.

"Hey," I knocked lightly at Alice's open door. She was slouching over her desk scribbling furiously. She looked over her shoulder a little frantic.

"Hey."

"Did you eat?" I didn't want to bother her knowing she wanted to fully focus on her essay. _Jane Eyre_ been a particularly difficult subject to cover for most everyone in class. Being the loner and nerd I had been, growing up-and still was- I'd read the book a few years ago.

"Yeah." She answered dismissively.

"What are you covering?"

"The Christianity angle. You know, Brocklehurst's weird fanaticism and St. John's detached devotion. Should she stay with Edward after finding out about Bertha even though he's still legally married to her or leave him and crush her hopes of happiness and love." She went through the pages roughly scaring me she might rip them clean off the spine.

Hearing her say her brother's name for someone else sounded odd to me. It was a childish thought that her brother was the only Edward in the world. I laughed at myself.

"What?" Alice turned to me, scared out of her wits, "you think that's a weak point?" I looked at her not understanding her for a moment.

"Oh!" She thought I was making fun of her brainstorming, "no no no! That's a great angle Alice," she looked at me suspiciously, "I debated whether or not to do that too but I decided on the feminist undertones of the novel."

"Are you sure?" My devotion to literature had made me some sort of literary force in the school. People came to me for help focusing in English and critical thinking.

"Yes, I'm serious." I nodded knowing I should leave her to her work, she was too worked up to study with someone. "I'm going to study in my room and leave you to it." I walked away awkwardly.

"Ok." She went back to her desk, "hey Bella." She turned around suddenly.

"Yeah?"

"If I have issues with it, would it be ok with you if I came to you?" She asked nervously.

"Yeah of course." I looked at her oddly.

"Ok." I guessed I was dismissed for the time being. I closed the door behind me and went into my room, Charlie had gone to Seattle to do some required training in inner-squad relations and wouldn't be back for a week leaving Deputy Clearwater to act as Chief while he was gone.

I turned on my desk lamp and sat down to work on my theories, "Bella!" Edward called from the bathroom as he knocked annoyingly on my door. I rolled my eyes ignoring him. "I know you're there! I heard your bedroom door close!" I said nothing and opened my books heavily. "Fine!" He said angrily, a moment later I heard the door unlock, gasping I went to close it but he beat me to it. I tripped over his foot and fell on him.

"Oof!" I said hitting my cheek on his smooth chest, he grinned holding me to him.

"One second you're playing hard to get and the next you're throwing yourself at me." He dug his nose to my hair as he hummed in approval. I pushed him off blushing at the feelings he lit up in me when we were alone.

"Ha ha ha, keep dreaming. I tripped while trying to stop you from coming in." I turned on my heel and walked to the other side of the room trying to get away from him. He tucked his key in his jean pocket not looking dejected.

"I'm leaving on Thursday." He said looking at the floor.

"I know, congrats on getting into Dartmouth." I crossed my arms defensively, I didn't like the hole that I felt every time I thought of him leaving. Edward had been the only consistent facet of my life. Charlie was always pulling long shifts at work, Renee leaving, Esme's transformation from family friend to motherly figure, Alice's friendship after years of pursuit on her side, Emmett going off to college years ago.

_I never realized I would miss his cocky attitude, Napoleon complex and now his arrogant flirting so fucking much._

"Thanks." He scratched the back of his head nervously, the desk lap showed me he was blushing slightly. _Wow he looks adorable._ "I'm really nervous."

"About Dartmouth?" His opening up to me surprised me a little, he'd never been so clear about his feelings before.

"About everything. Leaving home, going to college three thousand miles away, turning eighteen..." He looked at me briefly looking away but not before I noticed his blush deepening.

"It's life-changing." I nodded realizing he was right, I would be in his shoes in two years. "So," I started awkwardly not knowing what to add to the conversation, "you want to be a doctor like your dad?"

He threw me a sheepish grin digging his hands into his pockets, "yeah, I've always liked studying about the human body and how to preserve life."

I nodded understanding, "you didn't show much interest growing up though..."

He laughed freely, "I know. I didn't know what I wanted to do until two years ago when Alice broke her arm. It scared me walk to death and I realized I wanted to know everything there was to helping her heal." Alice had a nasty fall down the grand staircase when she hadn't noticed she'd reached them. She'd gotten into the _Nancy Drew_ series and had been too enthralled in reading it.

"I always thought you'd be a musician." I added remembering his playing on a grand piano that had been in the living room but for some reason they'd stored it away in a garage company never to be seen again. I remember the grief of the family over Edward's sudden loss of interest, locking himself in his room for days.

_I'd completely forgotten that... He must have been six or seven when it happened._

"Yeah," He said, uncomfortable. He shifted in his feet and cleared his throat. "I wish I could go back in time and relish everything again." He kicked his feet as he bit his lip. I laughed at his statement, "you'd still tease the hell out of me." He looked up, incredulous shock covering his handsome features. "You think so?" He whispered.

"I'm sure of it." I scoffed rolling my eyes and falling on my couch, still crossing my arms around me.

Edward looked away sadly, "I'm not so sure..." He whispered longingly. I didn't like this vulnerable Edward, it didn't feel right. Being a dumb masochist that I was I went to him and kissed him roughly throwing him off balance and landing on the floor. I pulled away breathless and hoping to see his wicked eyes but I found surprised clear ones.

"Woah." I would have enjoyed the fact that it was the first time I'd ever made him speechless but I was more focused on bringing back the arrogant Edward that I knew and hated.

Remembering all of the things more experienced girls spoke about when they were in with their boyfriends and what I'd seen in movies I pushed his neck to the side and attached my lips to his neck.

Fourteen year old Edward came into view in my mind's eye as he threw himself on me and biting me in the same place in my body. I growled feeling the nostalgia and bit violently into present Edward's neck making him cling on to me suddenly and arching his back to me and he gave out a deep groan.

"Bella..." He said my name in a mixture of sadness and desire. It took me on a tailspin and fighting not to share any sadness I went to his lips and kissed him forcibly. I guessed he caught on because he spun me around and returned the favor. His hands dug into my waist, raising my shirt up my navel. I pulled away self-conscious.

My small weight loss had left me with stretch marks and after years of wanting to hide my body it wasn't easy to allow someone to see me like this. _Especially Edward Cullen._

He pulled away breathlessly, "what's the matter baby?"

"I don't want you to see my stomach." I whispered, ashamed waiting for the mocking laughter. He kissed my cheek and hugged me fiercely, I didn't know what to do or think feeling a burning in my chest.

He took my chin and kissed me in place; passionate but soft, forceful but delicate, frustrating but lovely. I didn't know what to say, think or do so I just followed his lead.

_Like always._

I felt my hand run up his arms and wrap themselves around him, my heart was fluttering in my chest and mind buzzed trying to understand these old and new feelings.

"Bella!" Alice knocked on my door, Edward leapt off me as if some greater force had pulled him off me. We stared at each other, pure fear in our faces.

He and I knew the non-verbal, totally binding rules of the game we'd unwittingly created in our muddled history.

_1. Must only involve Edward and Bella._

_2. Must only partake in the game when alone._

_3. Complete and utter secrecy._

"Are you there Bells?"

"Leave, leave!" I got up clumsily and whispered furiously as he nodded and ran into the bathroom quickly. I got up and went to my small vanity armoire to see how messed up I was.

My lips were swollen, face was red and my chest rose and fell quickly; I looked like I'd just ran a marathon. _Fuck._

"Coming!" My voice cracked a little. I ran my hand through my hair quickly and opened the door plastering a huge smile on my face. "Sorry Alice, I was in the bathroom." I added.

"Oh." Alice looked embarrassed, "sorry."

"It's ok." I went outside the room and closed the door behind me as if Edward was somewhere in my room. "Could you help me super quickly with something? I can't find a quote I desperately need. I remember St. John saying it but I can't find it." She grabbed my hand pulled me towards her bedroom. Edward came out of his room, probably to try and diffuse possible suspicions- he looked just as flustered as I. "Go away Edward!" Alice yelled bitterly. She was still pissed about his music playing from the afternoon.

"You're going to miss me when I leave!" He shot back just as our eyes met before Alice slammed the door in his face.

I turned away from the door onto the floor, a deep pull coming from my chest.

~.~.~.

"Did you put up the holly and cranberry crowns?" Charlie asked me as we put up our Christmas decorations. I put the last of the ornaments in our small tree admiring our work.

We'd chosen a red and gold theme that year, continuing a small tradition to choose a different combination of Christmas colors every year. "Yeah while you were bringing in the tree." I smiled contentedly. It had snowed lightly earlier in the morning inspiring me to bake some snowflake-shaped sugar cookies. "Why don't we eat some cookies with the tea you brought at the grocery store yesterday?"

"Sure sweetie, but I'll go for coffee if you don't mind." He clapped his hands together in anticipation, he loved anything I made in the kitchen. "Tea's too weak for me."

"Ok." I nodded as we walked to the kitchen.

"So," Charlie sat down in his chair at the small kitchen table as I moved around getting cups out of the cupboards. "How are things with Dr. Carter?"

I'd continued to see my psychiatrist and could proudly say I was slowly getting over my childhood fears of loneliness and abandonment. With the help of Dr. Carter, Alice's friendship and my own desire to move forward I was finding it easier and easier to open my wings.

"Things are good." I replied pouring him a cup of coffee and hot water into my cup before dipping my favorite mint chamomile teabag. Charlie grabbed the cookie jar and went back to his chair.

"That's great." He nodded relieved but still sounded like he had something on his mind. I put down our cups and went back to grab sugar for him and honey for me. I gave him a chance to decide whether he would come out and say it or force me to pull it out of him.

I handed him the sugar and took my seat dipping my teabag to get more tea out of the bag. He didn't take the chance so I went for it, "something on your mind Dad?"

He cleared his throat, pulling his collar nervously, "We-well I wanted to know- you see I know you're coming of age- I know that girls your age want to-" His face flooded with blood making me laugh out loud.

Chief Charles Swan was nervous and blushing,_ I loved it!_

"What Charlie?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?" He blurted out sending me a stern glare at my laughing at his discomfort. I was taken aback by his question automatically saying, "no."

He visibly relaxed, "oh." He sounded happy but then his scowled, "why?"

"Are you seriously asking me why I don't have a boyfriend Charlie?" I grabbed a cookie and took a bite loving the taste of vanilla and frosting swirling in my mouth.

"Well you're a bright, _pretty_ girl. I'm surprised you don't have a line forming at my doorstep full of hormonal, acne-covered boys wanting to take you out to the lake." He answered incredulously, still blushing but not as violently.

I laughed harder than before not believing _him. _"Are you kidding? I'm the town lo-" His scowl returned deeper realizing what I was about to say, I amended my statement, "I'm the town nerd, and unless you see ghosts or still have invisible friends I don't see anyone at your doorstep."

"You underestimate yourself Bella."

"Sure Dad," I rolled my eyes stirring a spoonful of honey and taking my first sip. Sweet minty freshness hit me with a wave of relief.

"Bella." He chided.

"How's Harry's son Seth? I heard he's doing better now that his leg healed up after falling in the lake." I tried changing the subject.

"He's doing better." He nodded his voice suddenly turning happy. _He doesn't expect me to go out with Seth, he's thirteen for god sake! _"Jacob Black is helping him by driving him around town so he won't have to walk for unnecessary amount of time."

The Clearwaters were part of the Quileute tribe that lived on the La Push reservation on the western side of Forks. The townspeople and the tribe got along swimmingly and were part of the town's identity. Jacob Black was the youngest child and only son of Billy Black, Dad's best friend.

I'd played with Jacob and his older sisters who were now married and moved from home when we were kids but I didn't really remember since it was before I formed lasting memories. The Cullens became a huge part of my life by then.

"That's good of Jacob." I nodded feeling like I was on treacherous territory.

"Have you seen Jacob, Bella?" He's growing up to be fine, hard-working boy." He sounded too enthusiastic for my liking.

"No I haven't. Hey Dad, did you know that Emmett is moving back to Washington?" I tried changing the subject again in fear of Charlie voicing his thoughts, "he got a paid internship in a well-known Seattle firm and Esme is looking to help him get a place in town."

"Oh really?" Charlie's eyes quirked up interested in what I had to say but something told me it wasn't because of Emmett's future success.

"Yeah," taking full advantage of his sudden interest I moved on, "Edward's coming home from New Hampshire too. He called home the other day and said his plane would touch down tomorrow morning at eight. Dr. Cullen is picking him up from Sea-Tac."

"Oh. I see." Charlie nodded slowly, studying me slowly. "I see." He added thoughtfully.

"Yeah, the Cullens are pretty excited that they're going to have a full house again." I grinned triumphantly, patting myself on the back for successfully distracting him.

"That's great." My smile flauntered when I could still hear the gears in his mind moving, "are we going to the Cullens' for Christmas dinner like years past?"

"It's a standing invitation so I guess, yeah," I mused wondering why he was asking.

"Would it be ok if we spent some time at the rez? Billy asked me to join the tribe's winter solstice celebration." I blanched knowing where he was going with this.

"Um..."

"Come on Bella, we can go to the Cullens' for dinner and excuse ourselves to go to the celebration. I'm sure they want to spend sometime as a unit." He added carefully.

This burned my throat a little since I'd gotten accustomed to thinking of us as a blended family, I mean I did have a permanent bedroom in their house. But something inside me told me Charlie was right and no matter how many rooms or friendships existed between us we weren't one family. We were two very connected ones but still two separate units as he put it.

"Sure Dad," I said, "I'll let Esme know next time I see her."

"No need," Charlie answered happily, "I've already told Carlisle." He had the decency to look ashamed, "I guessed you would say yes." He looked down, blushing.

"You could have waited to speak to me, Charlie." I flared up.

"I know honey, I'm sorry but it's just that I-" He looked at his hands twisting the tablecloth in his fingers, "I think you should open your horizons a bit. You've dedicated most of your life to the Cullens-" I gasped incredulously, _he's not seriously throwing this in my face is he?_ "I know I helped you come together with throughout the years, _especially_ after she left," he added a quickly, "but I think you and I are over that phase of our lives and are ready to open up to other people."

"Dad-" I felt offended because I did see myself as part of the Cullens.

"Bella," He interrupted me, "I love the Cullens, don't get me wrong- but you need to _talk_ to other people."

"Fine." I stood up angrily, cookies and tea forgotten, "but don't expect me to even _consider_ Jacob Black as a possible boyfriend." I ran to bedroom without giving him a chance to protest.

I threw myself in my bed and felt an odd mixture of sadness, bitterness and rejection at the thought of not being fully part of the family I'd grown up to love and consider my own.

My phone began to ring, I warred whether to answer or not. Charlie had added my very own line in my room not to mix with the house's "to give me a little bit independence." Alice and Esme were the only ones privy to the number.

After letting it ring four times I gave in and answered thinking it was Alice and knowing she wouldn't give up calling until I picked up her call. "Hello." I answered trying to hide my mood.

"Hello gorgeous." His voice took me by surprise, making me sit up straight. "What's got you down?"

"Edward? H-how did you get this number?" I stared at the phone like it was him. He chuckled lightly bringing back the mixture of confusing and exciting sensations. "Alice mentioned you got your own line in Charlie's house and after _much_ prodding and bribing she gave in." He said in a playfully reproachful tone. "Oh that reminds me, she says she's really sorry and to please forgive her." He added in a faux serious voice.

I couldn't help but laugh, "ok, I'll call her and tell her I'm 'pissed.'"

"Does that mean you're not mad?" _Did he sound nervous?_

"No, I don't mind." I twirled my finger around the cord sitting back on my bed getting comfortable. I heard him sigh, "great." I could imagine his eyes shining. "I have a surprise for you." His voice dropped a couple octaves.

"Really?" I felt the long-forgotten pull in my lower abdomen. "What is it?"

"It's a _surprise _baby." He chuckled annoying the shit out of me.

"You're just teasing me."

"I know I am." He growled, laughter all over his voice.

"Shut up Edward." I mimicked his tone, remembering why I'd hated him when we were kids.

"God I _love_ it when you do that." He groaned, "I've missed you so fucking much baby." Both my heart and lower abdomen jumped at his words, I swallowed hard not knowing what to say or do. "I'll be home by ten ok?" He sounded bright and excited.

"Umm... ok." I grinned a little at his tone.

"I have to go finish packing. My roommate is pissed off because his parents canceled on him and asked him not to come home for Christmas." He sounded sad.

"Ouch." I thought of the faceless individual that had to deal with rejection from his parents during this time of year. I felt a sort of kinship with him over the parental rejection though.

"Yeah, I'm going to call Mom and ask her if it's ok to invite him over."

"That's sweet of you Edward." I smiled hearing him chuckle again. "I feel guilty going off to a warm and inviting home and leaving him behind to get illegal booze. He's from the South so he has a thing for bourbon and whiskey- not a good mix." He added knowingly making me wonder how he know about the combination of hard liquor.

_Had he been partying a lot since then?_

"Oh!" He remembered something, "he has family in the state so I hope it's close enough so he can meet up with them even if it's for a little bit."

"Really?" I was kind of shocked, "that's interesting."

"I know, I didn't ask where exactly. I hope they live in Olympia, Tacoma or even Seattle." I heard someone call him from the other line. "I've got to go baby, he just got home and he's plastered." I looked at the time, it was five o'clock making it eight in the east coast. _Wow wasted this early? Damn._

"Ok bye Edward."

"Dream of me gorgeous, I'll see you tomorrow." He said somewhat quickly but just as brightly as before.

"Sure Edward, sure." I rolled my eyes, I couldn't avoid it, it reminded me of old times.

"Hey that's not a no." I could see him winking and with that the line went dead. I took the phone from my ear and stared at it for a moment realizing for the first time how much I'd missed Edward fucking Cullen.

* * *

**For those of you wondering, as always Edward is moving faster than Bella in the feelings department. There is still a bit longer before the big "Oh my god I'm in love with him/her." But a lot of smexy times are to come ;) Edward's just given in to not fighting his growing attraction for Bella. Let's hope Edward is patient though...**


	8. Hello

**I'm loving the fact that you guys are enjoying our couple's game :D**

**I'm obsessed with Karmin right now and after looking at my entire musical library and Pandora account I found no better song that this one as the title for this chapter ;) Listen to the song if you have the time, it reminds me of Bella and Edward in this snapshot of their life.**

* * *

Karmin- _Hello_

* * *

_2002 (cont.)_

**BPOV**

I was waiting with Alice, Esme and Eliza in the living room trying to hear Dr. Cullen's black Mercedes' honk telling us they were home. When we heard it everyone else rushed outside. I stayed behind, watching the occupants of the luxury car step out. Edward stepped outside impatiently looking towards the main doors as his father stepped out brimming with excitement.

Their guest stepped out from his seat directly behind Edward, looking around as he took in his surroundings nervously. I was too enthralled in Edward's physical changes in such a short amount of time to take in his roommate's own physique. He seemed a little taller and stood up straighter but still held on to that silent sensuality I knew him for.

_Mmmm..._

The women got outside and ran to Edward who was obviously happy to see the. Alice shrieked as she threw herself at her older brother before their mother got to him.

Happy greetings were heard, I remembered what Dad had told me the night before about how I was just a friend and not part of their 'unit' and felt a sense of loss.

_Be happy in some respect_, my conscious piped up dryly, _he's not related to you._ I grimaced at her twisted thoughts realizing she was right.

I noticed Edward look behind Eliza as he parted from her hug, looking for something. He quickly introduced his roommate- who I now noticed was a blonde. Esme embraced him, obviously surprising the guy with her warmth. _He's not used to it, _I thought back to Edward telling me how his roommate's parents had asked him not to come home for the holidays_. I couldn't imagine Charlie telling me something like that._

They turned to the house, Esme and Alice looking at the door confused. I stepped away from the window, cleared my throat and tidied my navy blue blouse I'd chosen to wear that day with black jeans and converse.

_You should've dressed up. _The voice in my head reproached in disapproval.

As if I was going to wear my Sunday best to receive Edward. It would raise suspicion and it wasn't me.

"I'm glad you're enjoying Dartmouth Jasper." Esme's clear voice was heard as the party crossed the threshold to the mansion, the echo bounced off the walls musically.

So his name was Jasper.

"Thank you Mrs. Cullen." His Texas twang wrapped his response beautifully. His voice was deep but not like Edward's. Jasper sounded sweet when Edward's sounded sensual.

They got to the living room stopping to see me, Alice was the first to speak, "Bella," I was too focused on Edward who's face turned mischievous as his eyes landed on me. "I thought you were right behind us! Why didn't you come outside?" She bounced up to me forcing me to pull way from her brother's magnetic pull. _Did he just scowl?_

"Sorry, I wanted to give you a moment as a family." I looked down blushing. I noticed Eliza leave towards the kitchen, probably to get us some refreshments.

"What are you talking about? You _are _family sweetie." Esme came to me, confusion all over her face. I smiled weakly turning to Edward, the excitement of our competition was back. "You don't look like a college student." I said wrapping my arms, defiantly. "Are you sure you made it in?" His eyes sparked up a fire in them and in me.

"You don't like much of a junior; are you sure you didn't fail kindergarten and had to be pulled back?" He countered, eyes roaming my body lasciviously.

_So good._ The voice moaned feeling his eyes taking in my body. Was he calling me fat? I pursed my lips angrily, "you should know; I think I saw you in the remedial class because you didn't know the color pink from the color blue." The fire turned from slow to furious.

"Children." Esme called to order like a judge calming the courtroom, everyone stood on their toes watching us.

Edward and I didn't lower our invisible arms, we rounded each other up not hearing what Esme what saying. Edward stepped to his left slowly and circling one of the luxurious couches, I moved moved to my left just as slowly, our eyes never breaking away.

"You know, I forgot how much you hate the color blue. I'm surprised you're wearing it." He threw out as Alice and Dr. Cullen stepped out of my way.

"You're such a prick," I threw back just the same, "you _know _my favorite color was blue." Eliza come into the living room with a tray of finger food and asked the others for their refreshment of choice completely ignoring Edward and I as if to give us some space.

_Interesting..._

"No," Edward 'thought' about it for a moment, "I didn't." He snarled stopping forty five degrees from his original place, just like a mirror I did the same.

"My room is blue," he was pushing my buttons and I fucking loved it.

That didn't mean he didn't get under my damn skin.

_Mmmmm... _My conscious thought about Edward getting _under _my skin.

Shut up.

I brought myself from my inner monologue to hear Esme break up our standoff, "no fighting, arguing or the like." She looked at Edward pointedly and then to me. "Got it?"

I looked at Esme as she broke the spell that had engulfed her son and I and realized we were making a show, "I'm sorry." I hung my head emberrassed.

"Edward?" She waited for his apology.

"I'm sorry." _So fake._

"Alright," his mother didn't hear the familiar ring in his voice that proved his blatant lie. She turned to Jasper, her voice turning soft again, "Jasper we don't have available guest rooms in the main house. But you're welcome to the guest house out back." She sounded upset at being a 'horrible hostess.'

"That's fine ma'am." He bowed slightly, honesty all over his voice. Eliza came back with a pitcher of iced lemonade, I assumed everyone asked for something cold, I'd been to enthralled in my quiet argument with Edward to fully notice. _Or care._

"How about I stay in one of the guest bedrooms that way I keep Jasper company?" Edward asked probably feeling guilty for seemingly throwing Jasper to the separate house after inviting him across the country.

"Sure that sounds great." Esme clapped her hands, I recognized that in Alice. "I'd feel so much better if you do Edward. What say you Jasper?"

"That sounds great." He threw Edward a grateful smile.

"All we have to do now is wait for Emmett to come home in two days. This is going to be a great holiday season!" Alice bounced up, her eyes were flashing cheeks a deep pink.

I turned to Jasper wanting to make up from my earlier faux pas, "hi Jasper, I'm Isabella." I smiled warmly trying to erase possible distaste towards me. "Bella." Edward corrected me as he jumped himself on to the couch. I threw daggers at him, his childhood arrogance over my nickname had not dwindled over the years.

"Yes, as the jerk on the couch said you can call me Bella." I said trying to douse the poison in my voice with sugar.

"The lady standing by the loveseat forgets she's known as Bella." Edward got up briefly, grabbing a small bunch of grapes from the bountiful plate of fruit Esme put out in the coffee table; going back laying down on the couch eating one grape at a time. He looked very... tempting.

Julius Caesar much?

_He can be Caesar if I get to be Cleopatra VII._ My conscious was enjoying the view a little too much.

"Edward!" Esme chided, "you are not in your room!"

"Oh Mom," he threw his head back in complaint, "I just got from _college_, can't I have a little slack?"

"No. You have company." She crossed her arms expectantly.

"My college roommate, Mom not the Pope." He rolled his eyes, scoffing.

"Edward I will not say it again."

"Fine." He threw the rest of the grapes on the bowl and got up, the only person that could ever control Edward was his mother- if you call slight persuasion 'control.' Everyone else would have failed miserably. I laughed making sure he heard my mocking tone, he looked at me eyes flashing one more time but then he regained control. I didn't like that.

Edward was dangerous when he reined in his emotions.

"Bella do you remember where I put my pirate costume last year? I wanted to show it to Jasper." He said patiently the slight ice in his tone was not lost to me.

He was speaking in code.

"What pirate costume?" Jasper asked confused, telling me I'd been right about Edward's vague words.

"No I don't." I blushed looking down in defeat, fucking idiot had bested me using his Ace.

"Hmm... too bad..." He mused thoughtfully laughter behind his words, a silent promise of 'later' was laced over his words.

Fuck. I'm in trouble.

~.~.~.

**EPOV**

"Wow Edward, you have an awesome house." Jasper told me as put his luggage down in one of the guesthouse's bedrooms. We'd both taken quick showers in the main house after the introductions and had changed into clean clothes. I'd decided to wear a white button down, a green cardigan, black jeans and my beat up converse that Emmett had given me for my fifteenth birthday.

"Thanks man." I let out a low grunt as I let their weight off my hands. "Mom has a thing for decorating and will spend a small fortune to make everything 'balanced.' I chuckled running my hand through my hair.

"My mom just drinks herself stupid and sleeps with any guy under the age of thirty." Jasper countered bitterly. I twisted my mouth not knowing what to say to that.

Jasper came from old money just like my father; although his family had been involved in the Texan oil industry since the early 20th century. My father's money had come from a long line of well-known doctors and businessmen.

Like any wealthy family, we didn't speak about our resources. It was always awkward.

"Do you want to go into Forks and see if Principal Whitlock's home?" The fact that Jasper's great aunt was Forks Middle School's long-standing principal had taken me by total surprise after Jasper told me when I mentioned the name of my hometown when I offered to spend the holidays with me and my family.

He'd mentioned he had family in Washington when we first met but we didn't go into details. Esme got me an expensive studio apartment in downtown Hanover where Dartmouth was located and not wanting to live alone I advertised the extra bedroom open for rent in the local paper.

After much interviewing a few nutjobs and possible sex addicts, I decided on Jasper because I liked his down-to-earth persona and noticed it was easy to talk to him. I was enrolled in Dartmouth's Geisel School of Medicine while Jasper was enrolled in the college's Tuck School of Business studying to get his MBA in Business Administration in hopes of succeeding his father in running Longhorn Petroleum Inc.

"Tomorrow maybe?" He asked nervously, "I don't want David to know I'm here yet; he's going to think I tracked his aunt Lisa down."

"Ok." I nodded remembering his father's name was David, he called his father by his first name just like Bella with Charlie. That reminded me of the sinful apple that was waiting for me in her room. I grinned feeling elated I was home again, a hurricane of different emotions swirling inside me.

"So who's Bella exactly?" Jasper asked taking a seat in his new bedroom, Mom had chosen a gunmetal gray and black theme for this one.

"Family friend." I said sitting down in the lone chair by its writing table. Knowing I was safe from Mom and Dad's grasp down here I took out a cigarette and lit it up.

"I got that much by your mom's comment." Jasper laughed easily, "but who is she to _you_?" I blanched coughing out the smoke in my lungs feeling an unwelcome burn in my throat as the ash rushed out. Jasper laughed at my predicament.

"What do you mean?" I croaked out trying to take deep clean breaths, my eyes began to water.

"You know very well what I mean." He threw me a knowing look. "The show you two threw up there and the thick atmosphere around you told me something was under the surface." I looked down not knowing if to be honest or lie. Taking into consideration that Jasper had trusted me with his family's _difficult _relationship made me feel like he trusted me enough to know something so personal.

"Um..." I felt guilty not reciprocating his trust but I wasn't ready to let anyone know my complex relationship with Bella Swan. That and a selfish part in me didn't want to share our secrets. It made our escapades that much more delicious and dangerous. "She's just someone I have trouble getting along with?" It came out as a question, _fuck._

"It's alright Edward," Jasper chuckled shaking his head, "you don't have to explain it to me. Not if you don't want to."

"It's just that-" He was the first person to ever question the confusing relationship with Bella. "I don't-"

"I get it." He shook his hands in front of him, "trust me I get it. I just found your exchange rather interesting that's all." I gave him a strained smile and went back to my cigarette.

It was the first one I'd smoked in a month. I patted myself on the back for keeping the habit at that- a habit and not an addiction. The thought of seeing Bella again had made me antsy and nervous and the desire to smoke suddenly rose. I'd quenched my craving until I was alone with Jasper. "I don't smoke ok?" I told Jasper thickly.

"Understood." He nodded, knowing the code. That's why I liked Jasper so much, he was a cool friend to have. "So what is there to do is Forks?" He said expectantly. I laughed outloud.

"This isn't Los Angeles or New York, that's for sure." I finished my cigarette and went to the window opening it and stubbing the filter under the windowsill making sure to throw the stub into the bushes where it wouldn't be spotted.

"I know but you survived eighteen years of it, there must be something to do?"

I took out a piece of gum that I carried to cover up my cigarette breath with. "Gum?" I offered to Jasper who took one thanking me. I popped it in my mouth as I thought about my old haunts. "We can go down to the lake and see if anyone is down there. Girls here like to go swimming after it warms up." I winked not interested in anyone other than the girl who shared my bathroom.

Jasper didn't need to know that though.

"_This_ is warm?" He pointed at the broken clouds in the sky you could see from the window, I guessed it had snowed the day before because there was melting slush on the ground.

"In Washington it is." I shrugged remembering he was from scorching Texas.

"Alright, when in Rome," he nodded cocking an eyebrow, "that sounds like a plan."

"Grab a sweater and one of the coats I told you to pack, you never know if it might rain later in the afternoon." I closed the window.

"Seriously?"

"When in Rome..." I grinned as he rolled his eyes and opened one of his suitcases. "I get to drive my car again." I rubbed my hands together excitedly. I hadn't taken my Volvo with me to Hanover because I didn't need to. My studio apartment was near all of the major business one needed to live on and being a collage town everyone knew each other.

I'd dedicated my summer and first semester to starting off on the right foot with my grades leading an almost non-existent social life. Jasper knew more people around town than I; if there was a party he would have someone pick us up. He threw kick-backs sometimes at home loaded with junk food and illegally bought booze.

I couldn't wait to turn twenty one.

"Ok let's go." Jasper grabbed his coat and a thin turtleneck sweater as I started for the door.

~.~.~.

After having lunch with my family, we excused ourselves telling my parents I wanted to show Jasper around. We moved from the dining room to the living room. Mom and Dad excused themselves. Dad to his office and Mom to her bedroom.

"Can Bella and I go?" Alice asked me buzzing with excitement. This surprised me a little since she'd never been so interested in spending time with me. _Maybe she just missed you dumbass._ This made me smile.

"Sure shorty, come on." I ruffled her hair just like Emmett had done to me when we were growing up. _I missed my older brother._ Alice punched me lightly in retaliation for doing so, making me laugh as I remembered my similar reaction to Emmett.

"Edward." She blushed furiously.

_Weird._

"Where are you going?" Bella asked, as we headed out of the house.

"Around, maybe the lake." I told her as Alice handed me my keys. She'd kept them in her room while I was gone.

"Ok sure." She got up walking to the door, I beat her to it though as I opened the door for her. I loved winning around her, it fanned the flames of the competition around us. She clicked her tongue and walked out rolling her eyes.

"You drive a _Volvo_?" Jasper looked at my gray beauty incredulously, "I always saw you in a gran turismo."

"No," I shook my head laughing as I unlocked my car, "that's Alice not me." He pointed to the pint sized ball that was currently grinning like the Cheshire cat as she opened her door and got in behind me. She winked at Jasper who looked at her just as surprised. "I do want an Aston Martin though. But Alice is the fireball of the family, not me."

"What do you mean?" I noticed him open the front passenger seat for Bella allowing her to sit next to me. _Almost as if he knows she holds a higher standing..._ Bella blushed at his gesture- the old monster raged to life in my chest.

He'd fallen asleep for years I thought it'd 'died.'

_Interesting._

I got in but before I answered his question, I ran my hands through the wheel, dashboard and stick shift remembering the feel of them under me. I looked up to see Bella watching me, eyes glossing over. I threw her a cocky grin and turned on my favorite toy hearing the light purr of her engine.

"Oh how I missed you darling." I whispered knowing my friends were staring at me oddly.

"Edward has always had a weird fascination with cars." Alice giggled informing Jasper, I noticed he looked at her knowingly and chuckled to himself.

"Hey you still want me to let you go with us pipsqueak?"

"I'm already inside." I could hear the teasing tone in her unnaturally chipper voice.

I turned on the radio wanting to remember the last CD I placed in there. Queen's _Another One Bites the Dust_ began to play, "hmmm." I hummed. I'd only been gone for six months but it felt like years.

"Are you done making love to your car?" Bella crossed her arms around herself bring her breasts to stand up a little straighter. I winked laughing at as shock registered in her pretty face.

"Not yet. She forgot how fun it was to be under me." She gasped, and Alice grimaced and Jasper chuckled lightly. I sped out of the garage and into town.

I wasn't just talking about the Volvo.

We reached town and everyone stared at my passing car noticing I was back from New Hampshire. _Ugh. Small towns._ _No freedom._ Alice took it upon herself to be Jasper's visual tour guide as I passed the familiar, unchanging storefronts, homes and landmarks.

"That's Maple Park." She pointed to the old park Mom used to take us to, I remember throwing Bella down the longest slide to try and be a 'hero.' Back then it'd looked formidable, now it looked like it really was. A kiddie ride. "That's where Edward almost killed Bella."

"Hmph." Bella huffed turning away from the park. I grinned, _she remembered. _"I did not almost kill Bella." I said, annoyed. "It was accident."

"Sure Edward." Bella growled shooting down my spine. _Mmm..._

"That's Mr. Donahue's Drugstore, and that's Johnnie's- we have to go there before you leave, they have the best pancakes!"

"Alice, I'm sure Jasper can read." I rolled my eyes at her enthusiasm.

"Shush Edward, I'm sure Jasper doesn't mind."

"No I don't actually, I like hearing your little anecdotes." Jasper said smoothly, it was so like him to agree with someone to please them.

I headed east towards the small lake the residents of Forks frequented, there were more people out that day. _Probably taking advantage of the clear skies._ I parked my Volvo beside a familiar Honda Civic facing away from the lake in the small parking lot. Memories flooded my mind, nasty regretful memories. _Fuck my life._

"Edward?!" The screech of Tanya Delani reached my ears.

_Seriously. Fuck. My. Life._

"Ooohh here comes Ms. Princess." Bella gritted her teeth bitterly. I knew she and Tanya didn't along, things even got physical at Alice's fifteenth birthday party. I got out the car, I felt Alice put on a fake smile.

"Edward Cullen!" Tanya said emphasizing my name.

"Hey Tanya," I greeted weakly noticing various people playing by the edge of the lake, Deputy Clearwater was on duty with a lifeguard I didn't recognize.

"You're back from New Hampshire!" _Thanks for stating the obvious._

Alice took her chance to escape, pulling a curious Jasper. Tanya was wearing a very revealing coral pink bikini, showing off her body. Bella walked behind them, slowly though throwing Tanya and I a dirty look.

Tanya and I. _Ugh. I don't like the sound of that._ I shuddered the times I'd both rejected her and accepted her advances. Nothing had come of our typical makeout sessions after a boring date. She'd tried to seduce me countless of times but I wasn't interested. I never found myself sexually aroused by her easy trap.

I'd thought I was gay for awhile and not realized it growing up.

That is until Bella ran by my car after trying to have the stereotypical quickie in my car with Tanya and failing miserably. My ego was almost broken. But having her in my car at such close proximity brought back the fire I began feeling for her the year before. The cold chill I felt for Tanya melted in less than a second with Bella.

Yes, you've guessed it. I was still technically a virgin. At eighteen. Deal with it- I wasn't innocent or naive by any means though.

Just thought I'd add that.

"Edward?" Tanya broke my personal thought bubble, she put her well-manicured hand on my chest, dropping her voice to what was supposed to be a seductive tone.

"Yeah?" I took a step back, her hand falling from my chest.

"I asked you if you were back from New Hampshire." She looked down, trying to look sheepish. I wasn't able to bite my tongue this time around, "obviously. I mean I am here, standing in front of you in Forks, _Washington_." I rolled my eyes, the condescension clear in my voice.

"Oh." She blushed but her blushing didn't pull me to her like somebody else's who was currently speaking to the lifeguard... _hmm..._

"It was nice seeing you Tanya." I ran off towards Bella not giving Tanya a chance to object. "Hey Bella, you ran off." I said reaching her and the dude. I sized him up, he had brown eyes and hair, a little shorter than me, in a good physical condition, his tribal arm tattoo and deep brown skin told me he was most likely part of the Quilute tribe that lived on the reservation in the west side of town.

"You were talking to _Tanya." _she shot back, bitterly.

"She cornered me." I ran my hand through my hair, trying to get her to understand it'd been against my will.

"Whatever." She turned her cheek from me, upsetting me a little.

"As I was saying," the lifeguard stopped me from continuing my discussion with Bella, he looked at me pointedly also sizing me up.

_Oh._ He was interested in Bella.

I grinned, feeling my competitiveness wake up to a totally different tune from the one I felt when I jousted with Bella. The monster stood up completely forgetting his long slumber, purring.

"I heard from Dad you're going to spend Christmas night with us at the rez?" He totally ignored me and eyes shining with too much interest for my liking. _Wait what?_

"You're not going home for dinner?" I stepped between them, forcing her to look at me and blocking his view of her. He clicked his tongue angrily and she took a step back guiltily.

"I am going to Christmas _dinner_ at your house but Charlie and I are going over to the reservation to be part of the tribe's winter solstice celebration."

"Oh." I swallowed back the anger, trying to calm the monster who was now baring his teeth. I turned to look at the lifeguard, "who are you?" The contempt could not be held back from my voice.

He stood up straighter, raising his chin as he glared at me, "Jacob Black."

"Never heard of you." My mind raced through the various people I knew from the tribe. I knew Seth and Leah Clearwater because of their father's standing in the community but I was ashamed to say I didn't really spend time with the rest of the kids my age.

Even though I'd been a popular kid growing up, I didn't spend much time with the kids that were part of my 'clique' they were too full of themselves, too arrogant to make me want to know them beyond just their names.

_They were too much like you._

"Funny I was just about to say that about you." He shot back, triumphantly. I sent him a dry look not believing he really thought that would best me. I gave him a huge smile, "I'm sure you're lying," I couldn't stop my arrogance dripping from my voice, I extended my hand out to him. "But just to jog your memory, it's Edward Anthony Masen Cullen." I took his hand forcefully pulling away before he had a chance to do so. _But you can call me Mr. Cullen, motherfucker._ It took a lot to remind myself of Mom's countless etiquette classes growing up.

He stood speechless at my response, I turned back to Bella, "come on let's go with Alice and Jasper." I looked around quickly trying to spot them. I found them fifty feet away by the small pier where I knew the fishermen liked to set up shop in the mornings. Today it was full of little kids and Alice who was trying to show Jasper the little fish that liked to come near the surface looking for fallen French fries or bread.

"It's ok, you go with them. I want to ask Jacob something." Bella looked at the floor, blushing a violent red.

The monster didn't like this. _At all_.

Not wanting to show more interest in Bella than I already had- I remembered one of the rules of our "game" binding us to utter secrecy about our _extracurricular _activities. I nodded curtly, ignoring Jacob and walking slowly to where my sister and friend were. I tried hearing the first part of Bella's question but she didn't speak until I was out of earshot.

_What does this mean? What's the question? Is she interested in him? _The questions swam around my head much like the little fish. But instead of being calm and peaceful, my thoughts were a riding a wild and jealous current.

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**This chapter was a bitch to write, Edward was fighting with me trying to say things I didn't want him to say. He's difficult to control hahaha ;D**


	9. Sin City

**Ok so I didn't edit this chapter because I am about to leave for work but I wanted to stay on schedule in trying to post a chapter a day so here it is. Please excuse any mistakes :D**

**Thank you again for all of the lovely reviews and alerts XD**

* * *

AC/DC-_ Sin City_

* * *

_2002 (cont.)_

**BPOV**

"Hey." I smiled at Alice who looked at me a little surprised and _guilty_? Jasper was having way too much fun with the little kids who were having a watergun fight.

"Hey." She glanced at Jasper quickly and back at me, "Joseph bet Jasper he could 'woop his ass' at a water fight." I nodded understanding. I looked for Edward but I didn't see him. "Who was the cute lifeguard?" She pointed behind me with her chin, towards where I'd left Jacob. I blushed as I bit my lip.

"Charlie was trying to make me consider Jacob." Alice's mouth dropped, eyes playful.

"As in..." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Yup." I popped the 'p.' I noticed myself looking for the silky auburn hair around the lake feeling a slight disappointment when I didn't find him.

"Nuh uh!"

"Uh huh." I laughed not knowing if she was shocked there was a potential boyfriend or if my father, the straight-laced police chief was playing cupid with his only daughter.

_"You're so straight-laced Bella. "I love it; I just want to dirty you up."_

I looked at my feet, hair covering my face as I closed my eyes trying to kill the adrenaline shooting through my bloodstream. I felt the familiar qlench of my lower abdomen as erotic memories of Edward came crashing down.

_Again. I want to see him like that again._

Shut the fuck up.

_Whatever, it's not like he won't. He already warned you today, remember?_

My subconscious was right, he _had _warned me earlier before going off to clean up. I didn't know if my logical side or subconscious was the one to cheer. I need to talk to Dr. Carter about running a background check for possible schizophrenia in my family.

"Bella?" Jasper called my attention tilting his head to the side in hopes of attracting my vision. He was drenched, patches of water over his clothes.

"Huh?" I asked dumbly noticing Alice wasn't with us anymore.

"I was just saying what great view the lake offers." He pointed to the forest outlining the other side of the lake, it did look beautiful and peaceful._ No wonder Dad fished so often._

"Yeah, I really love it here. My dad fishes a lot so he's always here every chance he gets when he's not at the station." I nodded.

"Station? Is your father a firefighter?" He asked curiously.

"No, a policeman." I looked to him proudly.

"She's lying." I turned at the smoldering voice of Edward, he was walking towards us with a bouncing Alice, "he's not just _a_ police officer he is _the_ police officer." I rolled my eyes, unlike me Edward liked to brag about everything. "Her dad's Forks' Chief of Police." He reached us, dark green eyes frozen.

_Is he angry?_

"Oh wow that must be really cool." Jasper exclaimed, probably thinking of Dad like some badass superhero. Don't get me wrong I was insanely proud of Dad going up in the world but he was just Charlie to me, Dad. Everyone in town treated him with warm respect, which I loved. Outsiders were always intimidated by him though, not Jasper.

"Does he have an arsenal of guns and knives?"

"No," Edward snickered as he started for the edge of the forest that outlined the lake, "Chief Swan is not an assassin Jasper." He rolled his eyes, as Alice went into this whole story on how Dad busted a smuggling attempt.

It had been pretty scary when it happened three years ago. Charlie was on duty by the highway, waiting for too-fast drivers when he stopped a blacked out SUV. He noticed abnormally shaped objects wrapped in black trash bags and their mysterious and antsy behavior. Assuming something was up, he searched the vehicle before giving them the speeding ticket and have them drive off.

They had been trying to smuggle the arms from Idaho to California, Charlie said they had been amateur gangsters and assumed the police force was weak in the outskirts of the small towns.

Not Forks though, we had Dad.

He got a slew of awards for his excellence on the force. It was great because it distracted him from the divorce proceedings Renee had begun in Phoenix.

Renee.

I hadn't thought of her in a long time, I guess my connection to her wasn't as strong as a normal mother/daughter connection, so unlike Esme's and Alice's. _Well, I hope she's happy with her new, _younger_ husband in Arizona._

She tried calling me from time to time- I never gave her my personal number, acting as if she hadn't done anything at all. She would prattle on about her new life whenever I took her calls. She would never speak to Charlie though, never apologizing for what she did. "You _understand_ right honey?" She would ask me over the phone. "I wasn't happy...with your father." She would amended quickly but I wasn't stupid.

She didn't care, she just felt guilty and was trying to kill the guilt she felt for walking away, but not because she cared about us. She was afraid of her own karmic energy.

Thinking of Renee pissed me off. I followed Edward, Alice and Jasper into the forest, it wasn't thick around the lake but I knew better. I walked slowly holding on to low branches and the damp trunks of the magnificent trees. I kept my eyes on the floor watching out for roots, dips in the forest floor or anything that could cause me to fall.

I was clumsy as hell even though no one ever said it to my face. _They called me fat but not clumsy. Jerks._

"Wait Edward!" Alice called out stopping twenty feet away from me as I carefully stepped over a huge root that was popped out of the soft dirt. Edward was naturally fast and his impatience never helped him out. He was already fifty feet away when I'd only walked a few feet from the edge of the lakeshore trying not to fall on my face.

He was so aware of his body and moved gracefully, completely the opposite of me.

Edward turned angrily and jumped around the floor, making me think of a mountain lion knowing where to land and how to avoid the dips. He got to me in thirty seconds eyes still frozen. "You go on ahead Alice I want to show Jasper the waterfall." He told her over his chin, "you know how to get there right?"

"Yeah of course!" She grabbed Jasper's hand who was obviously not used to being in a forest and she dragged Jasper towards the small waterfall that fed the lake, tripping every now and then. I smiled ruefully, I felt his pain.

Edward took my own hand and pulled me deeper into the woods but unlike Alice, he wasn't in a hurry to reach the fall. He looked around sharply listening for people before speaking.

"So," he always started this way when he wanted to talk about something serious, "who's this Jacob guy?" His voice was unnaturally rough as he searched my face, his lips turning into a hard line.

I had to force my hand from not touching it and trying to smooth the hardness out. "Jacob?" I asked stiffly.

"Yes, Jacob." He rolled his eyes emphasizing, still angry.

"He's just a friend." I was too embarrassed to admit that my father wanted me to see Jacob as a possible boyfriend. Not just because Edward would probably make a cutting remark about how no one would ever want me as a girlfriend but also because I felt… guilty.

"Really?" I could tell he didn't believe me, he took a step forward still searching. I took a step back not understanding him, I didn't like the feeling of his hold on me. It was so strong.

"Yes." I dig my foot in the soft dirt, thankful I'd worn my old pair of converse and not my new blue and black ones Dad gave me for my birthday.

"Look at me when you say that." He took another step forward, I took a step back reflexively feeling the predatory mood he was in.

I pursed my lips annoyed he was being such an ass, "he is just a _friend." _I looked at him, hoping he saw the anger in my eyes. "What is it to you anyway?" I spat not understanding him.

He growled and pushed me up against a young Bigleaf maple, I realized how close I'd been because I wasn't against it in less than half a second. He didn't push himself against me but stood so close to me I could feel his soft green cardigan matching his eyes and our surroundings.

I looked at his face, feeling the deep breath come in to my lungs by itself. He was so beautiful.

"What is it to me?" His voice was mocking and mirthless. His eyes softened from a weathering storm to a hot tropical rain. "I'll be upset Bella." His voice was dripping with dry seduction, he didn't meet my eyes instead he played with the end of some of my hair, fingers ghosting my right breast. "Our game would be over if you got yourself a boyfriend."

His sharp jaw, high cheekbones, plump bottom lip, his lowered lashes held my attention more than what he was saying. Trying to regain consciousness, I said nothing.

He looked up, slowly looking through his lashes. His eyes had turned into melted jade, "do you want to end our game Bella?" He caressed my name, wrapping it around his lips like it a comfortable blanket.

I swallowed hard, feeling my erratic heart beat as I bit my lip trying to wake up from his spell. "I-I don't know."

Anger flashed in his eyes but he quickly killed it. As I said, Edward was dangerous when reined in his emotions. He went back to watching the ends of my hair he had in his hands, playing with them like one did with a diamond to see how it flickers in the light.

"You really did forget what it feels like to be under me…" He whispered more to himself than to me.

"I was never under you Edward." I corrected him, finding some of my fire but it was gone before I grasped it.

He chuckled darkly not looking up, "you were under my spell darling."

_And still am, handsome._

Was that me or my subconscious? I looked at her, she was having a moment watching Edward.

I looked at Edward carefully, he was looking at my lips. I knew that look, he was about to kiss me. _Yes, yes yes please._ This time I didn't need to ask myself who'd said that in my head.

Before I could analyze my pleading he took my lips into his own. Every other kiss he'd ever given me had been a rough, unexpected and forceful. This one though was expected, forceful but not rough. The jagged edges of his other kisses were not present in this one.

He pushed me against the bark raising my chin to have better access to my mouth. The hint of cigarette, mint and his usual dark taste was present. My subconscience squirmed excitedly.

_Oh how I've missed you._ She exclaimed gleefully eyes on Edward.

"Let me in." He whispered breathlessly, putting his forehead to mine. Thinking he wanted to add tongue to the mix I whimpered acceptance; he came back to my lips as I opened my mouth infinitesimally.

He dug his hands into my waist, as his tongue caressed my mouth; his fire was back and so was mine.

"Mmmm." He moaned appreciatively.

_"You know about French kissing Bella?"_

_"No."_

_"Wanna try it?... I promise you'll like it._

He was right. It _was_ fun, more so than when I lunged my tongue in his mouth the day of Alice's masquerade. Instead of being something quick and sudden, Edward took his time getting to know my mouth, pushing me further into the maple. I began feeling dizzy but I didn't know from what exactly.

The kiss, the fire or the fact that he was impossibly close to me?

He pulled away out of breath, the rush of fresh air felt different in my lungs. Foreign.

Wanted to keep tasting his heady concoction.

We looked at each other, fighting to see who was on top. I wasn't going to give in so easily this time. He'd already used his ace so he had no hidden cards stashed away.

Knowing Edward though, he wouldn't care.

"We should get back." I let out between shallow breaths, he ran his hand through his hair keeping it there for a bit.

"You're right." He looked to the fall's direction, as if he'd completely forgotten about his sister and friend. "Come on." He wrapped his arm low in my waist, his hand grasped my hip possessively as he led me through the forest, remembering I needed help getting through it.

_He's just making sure you don't fall and break your neck. He would be pissed if you got hurt on his watch, it's not in his best interest to have you fall._ My insecurities came out quickly.

My subconscious rolled her eyes, angry that I was listening to them. She turned back to Edward not wanting me to ruin her good mood.

I was officially certifiable.

_Not even._ She thought dryly watching Edward's sharp jaw, her mouth watering.

Good thing I had a psychiatrist.

~.~.~.

Edward dropped me off at Charlie's, Alice told me she would call me later in the evening to talk about going to Seattle for some Christmas shopping. I agreed, saying goodbye to Jasper.

I'd thought he would be a bad influence on Edward, _wait wait wait. Edward is the darker one of the two it should be the other way around, and besides what do you care about Edward's circle hmm?_

I ignored my subconscious' chiding thinking back to Jasper. I figured he'd just gotten plastered the night before because he couldn't deal with his parents' cruel rejection and found alcohol as a poor bandaid.

He'd teased Edward in front of Alice and I. Telling us stories on how he would be stalked by most of the female and some of the male populations in Hanover.

Alice had stored this as ammo for later but I just listened at the edge of the small pond in front of the fall's mouth. By the time the water got to me it was quiet and smooth. I traced my index and middle finger through the surface trying hard not to dip them in hopes of actually feeling the water's surface as I listened about Edward's possible hoes.

"She offered him a whiskey sour but he didn't like it," Jasper stage whispered to Alice as Edward rolled his eyes, looking to me quickly.

"You got so drunk off of such a girly drink that night if I remember correctly." Edward shot back, he with them in a small patch of grass not so far from me. Alice leaned on her elbow watching Jasper intently. Edward sat closest to me though, almost like a link between them and me as if trying to keep me in the conversation.

I just played with the water.

"Hey, whiskey sours are not girly and who could say no to free drinks?" He chuckled as Alice giggled, "but don't drink until you're twenty one though." He added seriously probably not wanting to be a bad influence on Alice and upset her older brother.

"Hey you and Edward are eighteen and drink!" Alice fired up.

"It's not the same thing, you're my best friend's little sister."

"You tell 'er Jasper." Edward said, his voice sounding closer to me, I turned around to see him drop next to me.

"What's the matter?" He tilted his head to the side, eyes on my face studying me again. I looked at him thoughtfully, he was used to fast cars and apparently fast women. Why then, was he so into our game? He knew I wouldn't give it to him ever.

_Apparently__ you don't know either, _my subconscious told me lasciviously.

"Nothing just thinking about all the _fun_ you must have had with that redhead." I spat turning back to the water, it didn't calm me anymore.

"What?" He laughed.

"You don't need to lie to me Edward." I tasted the venom in my voice, drinking and feeling it burn deep inside of me.

"You seriously think I fucked that bitch?" His voice dropped to a deathly whisper, watching Alice and Jasper to see they were too enthralled in their gender discrimination argument.

"That's right." I turned my cheek from him, breathing deeply.

"You can be so stupid some times Bella." He laughed darkly shaking his head, I snapped my neck back to him, enraged but decided to not continue our argument. There was no point.

This obviously soured my mood and I didn't speak to him for the rest of the outing.

"Hey." Edward called me as I turned towards my house. I gave out an annoyed sigh turning back pointedly.

"What?"

"Nothing, just checking." He turned forward and sped off in the blink of an eye surprising Alice and Jasper. I watched his Volvo disappear into the street, he'd decided to take the back streets to get to his house. I sighed.

So frustrating.

I unlocked my door and waked inside, knowing Charlie wasn't home I still called out his name just in case. I was alone so I decided to make myself a cup of coffee but for the first time in my life I had a craving to spike it with alcohol.

What is that about?

_You want something stronger, duh._

I wasn't talking to you.

_Well too bad because I was._

Ugh.

_You're so blind._ She rolled her eyes and went back to fantasizing about Edward's jaw. It did look scrupulous now that I took the time to study it._ Ha!_

Shut up.

I went upstairs with my coffee and decided to listen to some music to cool off the anger I felt towards Edward; I snuggled on top of my bed covers, I didn't want to undo the bed so early in the afternoon.

My line rang, _that __was fast. _I thought about Alice calling me so early when she'd said she would call me after dinner. Maybe she forgot to tell me something.

"Hey Alice."

"Wrong." He growled. He was in attack mode, I could tell. Well then, this I knew how to deal with. _Oh yes, yes yes! _My subconscious jumped up and down squealing in happiness, fist pumping and all.

"What do you want Cullen?"

"You, Swan."

"Shut up." I felt the familiar pull of my nether regions wishing I could kill that small part of me that enjoyed his raunchiness.

He chuckled darkly onto the phone. "Are you alone?"

"Why do you want to know?" I bit my lip thinking that maybe he would come pick me off and have his way with me as punishment.

_Yes please, just please. _Quiet, you.

"_Are_ you _alone_?" I took a deep breath trying to read his mind, it would have been easier to have him in front of me but I had to figure this out blindly.

"Yes I am." I gritted my teeth thinking about hanging up on him. Why wasn't I doing it? I don't have to talk to him._  
_

So I hung up. The phone rang moments later with no change in it's ring, except I knew better.

I could feel Edward's rage and indignation pulsating off the phone. Being in tune with his feelings but noticing the childhood dread I didn't answer and instead unhooked the line. The house phone began to ring in less time than when I first hung up on my line.

I couldn't unhook that line, it was too important. So I ignored it and decided it wasn't too early to go to bed as I tried to will him to stop.

He did after ten minutes of nonstop ringing, I looked out of my covers slowly as if waiting for the phone to come alive and jump in my bed from downstairs. I sighed, feeling relief the storm had passed and tried to take a nap before making dinner knowing Charlie didn't get home until eleven.

I felt sleep begin to soften my edges and sighed into my pillow thinking of pirate Edward for some reason. But this time I didn't fight it, I just let the memories play in my head, enjoying the familiar burn in the pit of my stomach.

That is until I heard the doorbell.

_What the fuck man. I was just about to fall asleep._ I got up pissed and groggy, making sure to grasp on the banister to prevent possible accidents. I opened the door not checking to see who it was. _Charlie would be pissed if he knew you didn't check._ My subconscious told me bitterly. She'd enjoyed my resignation and watched the memories freely without having to fight me.

I blinked once to be able to focus on my visitor and closed the door in his face automatically. He was too fast for me pushing the door aside and rushing in before I had a chance to fight him.

"Edward!" I yelled between my teeth as I collided with my door after failing to close the door in his face.

"You hung up on me." He growled, he spat just as venomously as I'd done at the waterfall's edge. Ignoring the awakened carnal feels fresh from remembering last year, I controlled my voice trying to sound as deadly as he did.

"I'm sure I'm the first girl to do so, hurting your fucking ego." I thought of that invisible redhead, Tanya and the army of stunning, sexually active girls that followed him around. "But I'm not one of your whores." I shot out as he twisted his lips, pissed.

His bottom lip jutted making me bite my own trying to calm my libido, it had never been this is awake before, scaring the shit out of me. It had been a mistake to allow the memories flow earlier. I won't be making that mistake again.

"You're not a whore," he said, furious, "and you're not mine." He said in the same tone; there was something laced in his answer but I couldn't place it. Edward was too confusing and vague to really show me all of his moods and codes. He loved being three steps ahead of everyone and he wouldn't hand over a cheat sheet to save his life._  
_

"What do you want Edward?" I felt a sense of defeat at the thought that I would never be able to fully understand him.

"I already told you." His fury died down to a slow, still burning heat.

I crossed my arms around myself, not understanding him. He looked away looking around, gears turning.

All the fucking sudden I felt his grasp around my upper arm pulling me towards the second floor. "Hey what the fuck are you doing?"

We got to the landing as he looked around, being the first time he'd ever been in the second floor. He saw my open door and dragged me in, locking the door behind him. "Edward I'm going to yell if you don't leave!" I warned thinking of the white whistle Dad had given me two years ago.

"Shush, baby." He looked around my childhood room, taking in the pale purple- my favorite color then, my Spice Girls and Yellow Ranger posters smiling slightly. "Nice."

He saw my undone bed and grinned devilishly, nostalgia hit me in a fresh wave. "You were sleeping?"

"Yes." I huffed, my arms around me and turning away childishly.

"Hmmm..." He took off his coat and cardigan unbuttoning his button down shirt.

"Not again." I groaned. _YES, YES, YES, OH GOD YES! _The voice screamed at the top of her lungs, pure elation running through her- my veins.

"Oh. You remember so quickly." He laid down on my bed making himself comfortable, I noticed he didn't take off his jeans this time._ Awww..._ Shut up.

He closed his eyes breathing in deeply, "aaahhh... it's stronger here. I like it." He whispered more to himself than to me, before I could ask for clarification he turned to me, his angelic face was between mischievous and teasing. He pulled his arm out and beckoned me to him with his long index finger.

I swallowed, this had not happened last year.

"Come here Bella."

"No." I shook my head, feeling the strange pooling between my legs.

"Bella." He sang seductively, "come to me baby."

"What are you going to do to me?" The voice hoped for something dirty, I didn't know if that's what I truly wanted but either way I fought it as hard as I could.

"I won't do anything to you," he didn't drop the playful tone. "I promise."

"Then why do you want me to go over to you when you're laying on my bed?"

"Trust me love." His playful tone dropped three octaves, as he tilted his chin downward, his green eyes flooding with tempting darkness. I bit my lip and felt myself take a step closer.

His grin got wider but then dropped, as the darkness totally clouded his eyes, his lips parted slightly as I took the second step and looked down at him on my bed at the edge of the bed. "Get on." He whispered hoarsely.

I took a slow, deep breath and slowly swung my leg around his torso making sure not to sit on _it_ and putting most of my weight on my knees. I was sure he was used to smaller girls and didn't need him to make fun of my weight.

I looked to him as his eyes twinkled, different emotions running through them. "Kiss me. Slowly." He instructed closing his eyes and taking a sharp intake of breath. I did as asked and slowly lowered my face on to his not caring that my hair was brushing against the side of his face. He sighed just as I reached his lips. The cigarette and minty smell were gone but his breath still made me dizzy. I took a second to gather my thoughts before kissing him. Slowly like he wanted.

The kiss was chaste and totally different to what we'd ever experimented with. I have to say, it was nice but I could feel the low rumblings of an earthquake making its way through his chest. Feeling empowered and trying to enjoy the slow kiss before it turned into something more I touched his jaw feeling a slight stubble I'd never felt before.

I felt a hard, sudden clench in my lower stomach. It was so strong I had to push my knees together to make it stop. Instead though I managed to push myself closer to Edward's face. He grinned into the kiss opening his mouth and roughly spinning us around.

The earthquake was here.

"You're such a good kisser." He whispered as his lips roamed my chin as he bit and sucked southward. I gasped feeling the fire burn and escape its container following Edward's lips. He found my neck and found shelter there.

"Ugh." I groaned enjoying the well-known feeling but hating myself for letting him control me the way he did.

"You like that baby?" He whispered into my warm and wet skin sending cold chills down my spine.

"Mmm." I moaned hoping that was a good enough answer for him. Edward hummed in approval as he moved the other side of my neck. My breathing hiked when he swirled his tongue at the crook of my neck, I couldn't kill the loud groan that escaped my lips.

Edward hummed again, not separating his lips from my neck and deciding to go for my clavicle. I swallowed hard at the memory of his finger ghosting his last year. I stopped him suddenly he looked at me in fearful shock.

"I want to do that to you." I whispered hoarsely, knowing I was just preventing him from going any further with me. I didn't want to stop what we were doing though, and since I'd already seen his lower body I didn't mind using it as a gameboard.

"Alright." He nodded, understanding what I was doing. We spun together as I perched myself on top of him again.

Feeling stupid for letting my naivete and insecurities take over, I ordered to take off his shirt. He cocked an eyebrow but didn't argue. He unbuttoned his shirt as I glued my eyes to his deliberately slow fingers, his own eyes watching me intently. I notice the ghost of his devilish grin appear again.

He slugged off his shirt looking at me with a weird expression, letting it drop to the floor. His eyes cleared but were overtaken by a nervous storm. I looked away from his face and forced my eyes on his naked chest.

I'd never seen Edward shirtless.

I didn't need to fight to stare at his chest, my eyes glued themselves to the planes of his chest feeling the saliva pool in my mouth. He had a tiny dusting of auburn hair under his bellybutton and headed to dangerous territory. I bit hard into my lip thinking of what was hidden under me.

He licked his lips and lowering his lids as an evil grin inched its way through his luscious lips. I noticed something black between the left side of his clavicle and his shoulder bone.

_Is that writing?_

Wait.

I looked at the black script clearer, my mouth dropped forgetting everything else as he bit his own lip anticipating my reaction. I gasped loudly looking at him with wide eyes quickly and back to the script.

"Edward!" I ran my thumb roughly through the writing hoping it was just regular ink and and seeing it smear. But the ink he used was normal ink nor did it smear. "YOU GOT A TATTOO?!"

"Yeah." He grinned devilishly, leaning back on his elbows shifting a little. "What do you think?" He asked shifting under me.

I scowled giving him a dark look and studied the new blemish on his beautiful body. I looked at the script deciphering the old Latin font the idiot had chosen, "pe-cca-vi." I read out loud.

"It means-" he said excitedly but I put my hand up to stop him. I wanted to figure this out in hopes of understanding him a little more. He shut up for once letting me order _him_ around and remembered Mrs. Goff my Spanish teacher and her curriculum.

The verb in question starts with 'peca-' and the the suffix ends with an i. That means I as in me.

Ok. Spanish words that start with that prefix.

_Pescador?  
_

No that's 'fisherman'

_Peleador?_

No, that's 'fighter' as in aggressor. I rolled my eyes at the voice's weak help.

I looked at Edward, running through adjectives that would describe him.

Arrogant. _Confidant__._ Condescending._ Aware of his power__._ Temperamental. _Passionate. _Handsome. _SEXY. _Troublemaker. _Sinful._

"Bella?" Edward asked distracting my mental process.

"Shhh. I want to figure it out myself."

"Oh." He sounded surprised. "Ok but I doubt you'll be able to figure it out." He said arrogantly. Ugh see I am right.

_You're no closer to figure it out so maybe he has a point._ The voice stuck out her tongue at me.

Ok back to the word.

Wait. What was the last one?

The voice looked at me confused, _sinful?_

The word for sin was _pecar. _I looked back at the word the puzzle pieces coming together.

The letter i adds the English equivalent of "me."

I looked at Edward, he loved anything that was off limits. The masquerade came back to view. I heard myself explain the history of masquerades.

_"Masquerades were created for the Renaissance aristocracy to hide behind intricate and dramatic masks covering the whole of their face, wearing extravagant dresses and openly indulge in the sins of man- alcohol, sex, pride, envy and greed."_

Edward sitting by his window, smoking his cigarette, flask full of alcohol wearing a masquerade costume.

_"You smoke and drink all under the age of eighteen. Wow Edward who are you trying to be? Next you'll be telling me you got yourself a tattoo on the inside of your left calf." He grinned devilishly, "wait... you didn't!"_

_"Not yet, but I want a naked woman climaxing wrapped around me."_

Edward was all about sin, he was the type to brag about his sins.

Wait.

I stared at the little word, breaking it in my mind again.

_Pecca- sin _plus_ -vi _roughly equals to_ sin-me._

_Peccavi_

Edward bragging...

"I have sinned." I looked at Edward reading his face, his eyebrows shot up mouth opening up in total shock. I grinned knowing I was right. I didn't need him to give me the affirmative. I knew I'd broken this code.

"How-you-" He fell onto my bed, in a dumb stupor still staring at me, "amazing..." He whispered trying to read my mind.

I grinned at him wide and condescending, _t__hank you Mrs. Goff._

* * *

**Bella's thought process? That's actually how I think; it's confusing to some people but that's how I figure vocabulary words that have Latin roots- I translate them to Spanish. Let's say the word I don't know is 'postmortem'.**

**What I'll do is notice the Latin roots then I'll say something like:**

**Ok. The suffix 'port' means 'after' and "mortem" is _muerte= _death.**

**The word portmortem equals 'after death.'**

******Putting the two puzzle pieces together if I need to switch to "correct" English I do.**

**I hope that helped in understanding Bella's tangents hahaha ;D **

**P.S. It's worth being bilingual, if you're not I recommend you take up a language, you never know when it might come in handy :D**


	10. The Warning Pt 1

**So I want to apologize for not uploading earlier. Thursday was a very busy day and I wasn't able to finish the chapter in time. I was going to update yesterday but I was literally dragged to a bar for a friend of a friend's birthday party.**

**I would also like to apologize for being extremely bad in review replies, as I said RL got in the way but I will go back to replying as soon as possible. Thank you for all of your sweet notes and/or questions. They have influenced the story in one way or another ;)**

**NOTE: Before you go off and read Ch. 10- this story is rated M, and will keep climbing the Rated Mature mountain; actively keep that in mind from this point forward.**

**Off you go hahaha.**

* * *

Eminem- _The Warning Pt. 1_

* * *

_2002._

"Jacob." I looked at the floor, feeling Edward's grasp still holding on to me like a vice even though he was making his way to the pier.

"What a douche." Jacob scowled at Edward making me mad for some reason. Deciding not to get distracted again I called his attention, "look Jacob-"

"Bella," Jacob rushed out excited, "when Charlie mentioned the possibility of letting me date you I thought I'd died." I stared at him speechless, "I've always had a huge crush on you- ever since we were kids. I couldn't believe my luck when Charlie told me I had a chance."

_What the fuck? What year is this? 1556?_

"Jacob," I said firmly not wanting him to interrupt me again, "Charlie may want me to start dating, although I find that odd that's not the point. The times when fathers controlled their daughters' future is long gone."

His face fell again, "that's not-"

"Let me finish," I put my hand up to stop him, "I'm don't want a boyfriend Jacob." His face fell but I didn't feel as bad as I thought I would have. "I'm flattered you feel that way towards me but I can't reciprocate those feelings towards you."

"Give me a chance please."

"I'm sorry I just can't." I gave him a sad smile and walked off hoping he wouldn't hate me.

The thought of someone actually harboring feelings for me sent me into a tailspin, _me? Liked by someone? Wow._

It was December 27th and I stared at the black contents of my cup thinking back to everything that's happened in the last two weeks. I'd put Jacob's declaration away not wanting to overthink things and focused purely on the Christmas season and spending time with the Cullens and my father even after his "advice."

I also thought Jacob would respectfully back off but I didn't take into account Charlie's meddling. I wanted to kill him after he gave Jacob by phone number.

A flashback to December 23rd came to me, moving on with my deciphering, if you could call it that.

"Hello?" I answered thinking it was Alice or Esme but secretly hoping it was Edward.

"Bella?" The unfamiliar voice of Jacob randomly hit me, the sudden desire to punch both him and Charlie came through me.

"Jacob? How did you get my number?"

"Charlie gave it to me, I hope you don't mind." Memories of having a similar conversation with Edward three days before came back, but instead of accepting Edward's finding out I felt angry that Jacob had done the same thing.

"No." I gritted my teeth trying to take a deep breath, "I don't mind."

"That's great! Listen I wanted to ask you to see a movie with me?"

I was being asked out on a date. The very first request but instead of feeling nervous and flattered I felt pissed and annoyed. "Jacob I've already-"

"I won't give up, not yet anyway." He said rather firmly surprising the shit out of me.

"But-"

"Another day Bella." He told me brightly, "see you around ok?"

"Listen-" Indignation coursed through me, not believing his overconfidence. Before I could answer he hung up; I stared at the receiver with shock and anger. _What. The. Fuck._"Charlie!" I screamed running downstairs seeing red.

I found him on his La-Z Boy recliner reading the newspaper. "What is it honey?" He asked at my fury.

"You gave Jacob Black my number!"

He blushed and looked at the floor, "was that him?"

"Yes and he won't leave me alone." I crossed my arms around my chest, angry as fuck. "I would like to file a formal complaint Chief Swan."

"Under what grounds?" Charlie cocked his eyebrow not believing me as a little smirk rose around his mouth. Ugh.

"Harassment."

"Bella." He rolled his eyes getting up with a grunt and putting the paper on the coffee table. "Don't be ridiculous."

"No Dad, you're the one that's being so. I'm not interested." I pouted looking away. My eyes feel on the green afghan that draped our loveseat. _Edward's eyes are darker than that._I looked away from the blanket, redfaced.

"Is there another boy?" Charlie tried to read my face but I gave nothing away. He took a step closer for a better view but I backed off a little.

"No." It was true. There wasn't anyone else worth mentioning.

"Then what's the problem with giving Jacob a chance?" He visibly relaxed, voice giving away his suspicions.

"He's just…" What was wrong with giving him a chance?

_No!_

Shut up.

Dad had known his family for years, Billy Black was his best friend, Dad would never throw me to the wolves like this if Jake was anything but perfect in Charlie's view. I wouldn't have been surprised if he ran a quick background check before huge regret hit him like a ton of bricks.

"Yeah?"

I thought about Jake's pros and cons.

_Con- I didn't know much about him._

Pro- He had Charlie's approval.

_Con- Overly confident._

Pro- He seems like a good guy.

_Con- He doesn't know the meaning of 'no.'_

Pro- He knows what he wants.

_Con- He sounds selfish._

Pro- He has drive.

Before the voice could continue on her anti-Jacob campaign I thought about my words carefully before answering Charlie. "I need to evaluate if I want a boyfriend or not Dad." I twisted my fingers awkwardly. Charlie nodded, understanding what I meant.

"Ok sweetie, but don't disregard Jake so quickly. He really is a good, responsible boy."

"Sure Dad." I nodded stiffly and went up the stairs back to my room slowly feeling intense guilt.

~.~.~.

"Thank you for coming Charlie." Esme hugged my father who smiled sheepishly as I handed Eliza a covered dish. I'd made an apple pie for Christmas dinner knowing it was a holiday favorite with Dad and the Cullens.

I looked at the decorations Esme and Alice had chosen, twinkling red and green lights wrapped around the huge evergreen that placed in the corner of the living room giving it an early 1900s feel. Stockings hung from the mantle as a roaring fire danced in the fireplace, the original Crosby "White Christmas" played soothingly around the room giving the house the final magical touch. Alice stood by her mother who was wearing a beautiful midnight blue dress and coat ensemble that made me think of Princess Diana pre-divorce. Esme wore diamond and sapphire earrings with the matching teardrop necklace.

I looked to Alice who'd chosen a sparkly cocktail dress in dark green bringing out the pale green in her eyes; she wore simple diamond studs and red pumps. Alice had begun to wear heels last year and had taken to them like a fish to water.

She and Rose had persuaded me to wear a pair but I felt so out of place in my black pumps.

I looked down at my red dress. It wasn't much, but Alice had wrangled into buying it when we went to Seattle to shop for presents. It came to my knees, the neckline was a soft V; the dress it clung a little too much for my liking and after putting extra tight girdle I managed to not feel exposed.

I greeted Emmett who had shot up even more so than the other times I'd seen him when he was back from college. He was 6'3" barely taller than Edward. Barely. His brown ringlets fell adorably around his face, his blue eyes still had the boyish mischief I remember from before he moved to California.

"Bella Ella." He came to me, giving me a fierce hug even though he'd seen me the night before when we went out to Port Angeles for a late night movie with the rest of the gang.

"Hey Emmett." I let out as he crushed me in his hug.

"You look great girlie." He smiled warmly, I looked up at him and felt a frog in my throat. I looked away clearing my throat. The gratitude I'd always felt towards him for _always_ being there took over suddenly; I gave out a small laugh at my oversensitivity.

Everyone was emotional around this time of year.

"Thanks Emmett," I looked at the suit he was wearing, figuring out his mother probably picked it out for him, the black and green tie combo looked good on him. "You do too." I wiped fake lint from his shoulder.

I heard loud footsteps coming from the staircase. I looked over to see a begrudged Edward coming down with a happy Jasper.

Edward had his left hand inside his pant pocket, he didn't look very happy from what I assumed was because he'd also been forced to wear a suit tonight. He scowled looking down, as if the stairs had done some terrible deed to his person. I glanced at his black suit he was wearing his shirt was a dark red color with a black silk tie. His pocket square matched his shirt in color but just like the tie it was silk- I blushed thinking about his pocket square; he wore polished black loafers.

_Mmmm... I would die happy if I could just lick that jaw._

I ignored my subconscious whom had developed a weird fascination with Edward's jaw and looked to Alice who was openly gawking at Jasper. He'd decided on a black suit, tie and pocket square in lapis lazuli; he looked different than Edward and Emmett. Jasper looked sweet, Emmett looked warm and Edward looked... sexy.

That was a hard word to say or think around Edward but I found myself using that word for him more and more whenever I described him.

"Good evening." Edward smoothed out his face as his eyes fell on me, he grinned lopsidedly eyes sparking but quickly turning to Charlie. He extended his hand to my dad who took it, "Chief Swan."

"Edward." Dad clasped his hand warmly, I'd always found it odd that Dad liked Emmett and Edward so much even with Edward's habit for driving fast. "I hear from your old man you've decided to follow him in his footsteps. How's Dartmouth."

Edward chuckled nervously and blushed rubbing the back of his neck. _That's interesting._ I watched him intently as he answered, "yeah it took me awhile to realize I wanted to study medicine." He cleared his throat, uncomfortable. "The school is great," he turned to Jasper who stood by him, "this is my roommate Jasper Whitlock. Jasper this is Chief Charlie Swan." Edward looked stiff and out of place something I'd never seen in awhile.

Was _sinful _Edward intimidated by the my policeman father? I put this tidbit of information for later, this was too good to pass by.

"Did you say Whitlock?" Charlie's antenna rose quickly. Of course it did, everyone knew everyone else in this small town.

"Yes sir."

"Do you have any relation to Principal Whitlock?"

"Yes," Jasper cleared his throat, his turn to be uncomfortable. _Hm. _"She's my great-aunt; my father's aunt."

"Wow and you met Edward at Dartmouth without knowing about his hometown or did you track each other down?" Charlie was seriously impressed. He had always lived in the small sphere of Forks so finding someone that had a connection to the town without seemingly ever being near it shocked him.

"It was serendipity in my opinion." Edward chuckled. "I had an extra bedroom in my apartment and after advertising it for rent, Jasper came to me interested and we hit it off," Edward gave Jasper a friendly pat on the back, "we didn't find out about the mutual connection to Forks until the night before coming back for the holidays."

"Wow that's great!"

"Dad." I chided, grinning lightly at his excitement, Edward smiled at him and then me, sending me a tiny wink. I blushed lightly turning to look at the living room wanting to block my face from him.

_Leave it to Mr. Sinful to send you reeling. _The voice's thoughts had taken a rather sexual turn ever since Edward and I made out in my Tulip bedroom.

I didn't like it.

I'm going to have a little talk with Mr. _Prince_ by the end of the night about the rules tonight though. "Is Carlisle coming later tonight?" Dad threw me a quick apologetic smile and moved on to Dr. Cullen.

"Yes. He's on his way actually." Esme grinned, looking relieved. She probably thought Dr. Cullen wouldn't make it to dinner, something she that would have disappointing her to no end.

"That's great. I wanted to talk to him about possibly getting Super Bowl tickets with Harry if the Patriots make it next February. I've been itching to go._" _Organized sports bored me to death so I turned to chat with Alice but noticed she looked a little out of it.

"You ok shorty?" I whispered quietly.

"Uh...huh." She agreed dumbly, wide eyes still on Jasper who was now having a deep discussion with the Cullen brothers and my dad about the chances of the Patriots and his team, the Dallas Cowboys reaching the Bowl.

"Shall we go to the living room for some before dinner drinks while Carlisle gets here?" Esme asked the group but only looking at Emmett and Charlie. Jasper and Edward looked to each other knowingly.

"Sure Esme." Charlie agreed following her into the living room. I stayed behind the group, watching everyone interact. I was sure Charlie could see the familial blanket that surrounded us that night. I gave out a sigh remembering his words.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Edward whispered beside me. I was slightly pissed he'd winked at me earlier, he was so reckless.

"Oh you'll get more than thoughts Cullen." I growled turning towards the group and not wanting to start the argument so early in the evening.

"I look forward to it Swan." I heard him whisper behind me, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, swallowing hard I took my seat next to Alice. We made small conversation as Eliza served Charlie and Emmett a scotch on the rocks, and gave Esme a mimosa.

"What do you want to drink Bella?"

"Tea please." I smiled knowing she would never serve us alcohol until we were over twenty one. I was fine with that.

"The same as always hon?" She smiled knowingly.

"Yes please."

"Edward?"

"Sex on the Beach Eliza." He said proudly. I coughed a little at the brief image of him naked, on a beach enjoying… the sights. I turned to our parents thankful they were having their own conversation, letting out a breath of relief that Charlie hadn't heard Edward.

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm getting you coffee." She rolled her eyes, expecting such an answer from him, he winked at her mischievously. "Jasper?"

"Coffee please, two sugars." Jasper answered laughing at her exchange with Edward. The idiot caught my eye because he started humming a familiar tune. After a moment memories and lyrics ran through my mind.

_"Do you take sugar? One lump or two?"_

I looked at my hands, covering my blush with my hair.

Alice asked for tea with sugar not honey and asked the boys what they would be doing the next day. Afterward her father arrived and we moved on to the dining room since Dr. Cullen had changed into his all-black suit at the hospital.

Dinner was mostly uneventful. We'd opened our gifts in the morning, I did so at Charlie's though.

Emmett had given me all of Jane Austen's books, Alice gave me a small jewelry box, Charlie a beautiful, dainty diamond pendant. Jasper got Alice and I tickets to see Christina Aguilera next summer after Alice mentioned she loved her. I wasn't as crazy for her as Alice but hey it would be my first concert and I couldn't say no to a Christmas gift.

Alice took ten photos of the tickets and thought about framing them. It was more than obvious she was developing a crush on Mr. Whitlock. I would wait until she admitted her feelings though not rushing her into anything.

I gave Alice a framed photo collage of her and I from when we were kids, even when I didn't want to be her friend. She cried making me cry too when she called me to tell me how much she loved it. For Emmett I gave him a huge cookie jar full of an assortment of homemade cookies promising to refill it when he finished the first batch. He was more than happy with it to the point where I thought he would cry too.

Emmett was a huge fan of my baking and I hadn't forgotten how he used to share his with me when we were kids, even when dumb Edward told him not to.

Ha!

Edward and I had been forced to get each other Christmas presents in the past; it had been more of a front around our parents. We acted civilized around other people but the worst of his teasing came out when we were alone. I was sure the presents he gave me in the past, like my Limited Edition Princess Diana Barbie, Mattel released after her passing or my Yellow Ranger tennis shoes in '96.

When I'd gone shopping with Alice I looked around for something small and unimportant for him not wanting to raise suspicion. I had become extremely paranoid since our "relationship" sifted last year.

I knew his favorite color was green so I thought about getting him some pocket squares much like the red one he wore that night. But when I was waiting for Alice to get out of the fitting room after she took in fourteen outfits- upsetting the associate, I decided to walk around the department store to pass the time.

I walked by the haberdashery section of the store and asked to see the satin pocket squares when something caught my eye. Apologizing to the salesman I asked to see the object of my curiosity and as soon as he took it out of the glass counter I told him I wanted it.

"Are you sure Miss? This is a novelty..." He told me awkwardly.

"I'm sure. That's what I want."

"Miss-"

"That's what I want."

"Yes ma'am." He said turning his back towards the wrapping station they had behind the counter.

I hadn't given Edward his present because I chickened out- pardon the pun. I had left his present in my blue bedroom in case the opportunity came up Christmas day during dinner. And now that I wanted to cut his face up for winking at me in front of everyone I decided to give it to him just to piss him off.

"Do you have to go to the reservation?" Alice asked as everyone drank their after-dinner drinks.

"Excuse me." Edward announced putting his second cup of coffee down. I knew he remembered I wanted to speak to him in private and waited to excuse himself until after dinner. He didn't take the stairs in the foyer, instead he went for the kitchen.

He was being sly now? Really?

_You just want to be alone with him. He winks at everyone! He even winked at Eliza for god's sake!_

Lies.

_Fucking blind I swear._ My subconscious looked away, pissed.

I turned to Alice apologetically. "Yes I'm sorry."

"You'll have fun honey." Esme said smoothing out Alice's possible complaints. "Carlisle and I went one year when we were still dating when Emily and Sam Uley invited us. We had so much fun, they light a huge bonfire at the center of the reservation and chant, play music and dance." Esme sighed, eyes far away reminiscing.

"That sounds awesome!" Emmett grinned, finishing his coffee and looked at his mother with envious eyes, "I wish I could go."

"They have to invite you first Emmett." Esme chided, "you can't just show up without being properly invited."

"I know Mom." He rolled his eyes, looking at Jasper who was laughing too. "I'm twenty one and a collage graduate but still treats me like a child." He rolled his eyes playfully.

"Emmett, you'll always be my baby." Esme said stiffly.

Now or never.

"Oh!" I gasped, "I forgot my coat at home." I looked to Charlie who stared at me, "I'm going upstairs to get another coat. I'll be right back."

"Alright honey." He laughed looking at Esme shaking his head, "so dramatic." I made my way up the grand staircase not wanting to raise suspicion.

I ran down the corridor and knowing he would be waiting in _my_ room I didn't bother to debate whether I was right or not. I went in to see him laying on my bed, suit jacket off, facing the ceiling. I closed the door behind me making sure to lock it.

I was getting used to Edward on beds. My inner voice's mouth watered at the thought.

"I was wondering where you were." He said propping himself on his left elbow. I noticed a small black envelope near his right hand but didn't ask what it was. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Why the fuck did you wink at me downstairs?" I walked to him stopping a foot away from the edge of the bed.

He stared at me, disappointed, "awww. I was hoping you wanted to make out a little more not come looking for a fight." He fell back with a thump, I rolled my eyes.

Leave it to Edward to think everything had to do with hormones. "I asked you a question."

"I wink at everyone." He said, bored as he ran his hands down my comforter almost caressing it. I thought about the time he did the same thing when getting into his precious Volvo the day he arrived from Hanover, I looked away blushing.

"You do not."

"Yes I do." He sighed closing his eyes, hands still roaming. "Blue looks the best on you, but red brings out the sexiness in you baby." He whispered sighing again.

"Not now Edward." I blushed staring at him

"There's always time for it love."

"Edward." I growled.

"Mmmm... Again." He grinned wickedly eyes still closed, it had been a request. I stared at him, the pull I felt for him was back, full force. My subconscious took the chance to take over and it was she who said, "I'll do it again if you wait for me tomorrow night in your room."

The words were out before I could stop them, Edward was off of my bed and grabbing me in a matter of milliseconds, "in turn for what?" He whispered roughly into my ear, holding me to him as I felt _it _stand to attention in my inner thigh.

The weird thing was that even though I was surprised, I didn't move away from it, if anything I felt excited and anxious.

_Get fucking used to it. You act as if it's a new feeling, it's not and en-fucking-joy. God, you need to get laid, maybe you won't be such a bitch if he loosens you up- if you know what I mean._

I punched my subconscious in the face knocking her out in retaliation though, but I knew I couldn't go back on what she said, having a hard time erasing what she'd told me in the privacy of my mind. "You don't risk our cover. Ever."

"You're just paranoid." Edward whispered as he traced his nose from the back of my ear to my jaw. My subconscious' words echoed in my head, making my breath catch in my throat.

"Maybe so but I need insurance." My eyes fluttered closed as I answered losing my breath a little.

"Alright consider yourself covered gorgeous." As if he could read my earlier thoughts, he licked my jaw bone slowly and seductively. A sharp intake of breath came out of nowhere, "still going to the reservation?" He asked cooly.

"Yes." I swallowed, trying to block the desire in my throat.

"Hmmm... you could feign sickness and stay with me tonight..."

"No." I woke up from the spell and pushed him off, the voice would not become a prophet. I tripped a little but was able to go to my closet and grab the first coat I felt. "I promised Charlie and Jacob is expecting me."

"What?" Edward's seductive tone evaporated and an angry growl ripped from his chest.

"I told you already." I rolled my eyes looking at him as I walked to my door. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bella!" I closed the door in his face and ran down the corridor before he caught me. I was wrong again. He flung the door open and was able to catch me in seconds. He pushed me into his bedroom blocking me from the door. "Is this a date?" His green eyes were stormy, his mouth turned up into snarl and body language on the offensive.

What the fuck?

"No it's not."

"Are you sure?" He grabbed my face in his hands and as always searched my face for nonverbal answers.

"Yes," I pushed him off and rushed to the door, "I don't date." I glanced over my shoulder leaving him before he could come after me again, completely forgetting about his present.

~.~.~.

Charlie and I said our goodbyes to the Cullens and drove to the reservation. Edward came back to the living room as we made it to the foyer, ready to leave.

"Have fun." Alice told me ruefully. I hugged her as Charlie thanked Esme and Dr. Cullen for the delicious dinner. Charlie lead me to the police cruiser he used as a regular car. It seriously annoyed me that he didn't get a regular car but he would always argue that there was really no point to do so.

When we got to the reservation we were greeted by the sounds of tribal drums, people cheering and the billowing smoke from the bonfire not so far from us hidden somewhere in the nearby forest. Harry Clearwater and his wife Sue, they were dressed in their best Quiliute garb and handed us both a cup of soda, Harry made fun of me saying if I expected a cup blood from the day's kill. I looked away completely embarrassed.

We made our way into the celebration, I was nervous not knowing what to expect. When we rounded the small path onto the center of the reservation I saw the huge bonfire Esme had mentioned. Everyone was laughing, singing Quiliute songs to the beat of drums. I saw Jacob was by the edge speaking to a boy not much younger than us.

He turned around towards us and beamed once his eyes fell on me. I looked down, blushing and feeling self-conscious as I remembered his confession of affection towards me.

"You made it!" He hugged me, shocking me.

"Jake!" Charlie hugged him once he let me go, Charlie turned to me expectantly, "why don't you show Bella around, it's her first time here."

"Sure." He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards a group of teenagers, they were boys with the exception of a surly-looking girl. "Guys!" The boys turned to me curiously, the girl scowled deeply. "This is Bella."

"Hey Bella," The boy closest to us extended his hand; he was taller than I but not as tall as Jacob, the same tribal tattoo on his arm as Jake's. Now that I looked around, they all had the same tattoo except for the girl. _Must be a male tradition in the tribe._ "I'm Embry."

"Hey."

Embry introduced me to Quil, Paul, Brady and Colin, the girl was Harry's daughter Leah. Memories of playing with her along with Jacob came back. I smiled at Leah but she just scowled deeper, scoffing and walking off to the opposite side of the small clearing.

_What?_ I stared at Leah as she sat on a rock on the edge, staring me down.

"Don't mind her," Jacob told me lowly, I didn't turn away from Leah. I wanted to see how far our staring contest would go. "She's just a bitter harpy." Until Jacob spoke that is.

My neck snapped to him, "why would you say that?"

"Because it's true." He shrugged nonplussed, "she and I have never gotten along. She's always been kind of a bitch to me." He grinned weakly. Edward's green eyes came into view, jarring me a little. _Leah sounds like Edward before two years ago._

Not true, Edward and I still don't get along.

The voice didn't answer back, I was thankful she was being particularly quiet now that Edward wasn't present.

"Want something to eat? We barbecued earlier." He pointed to a long table full of food, "I saved you some burgers."

"No thanks," I thought of Esme's ham and sides feeling gutted. "I'm still full from the Cullens." That and I didn't want to overeat, Dr. Collins would not be happy with me if I went back to my old habits.

"Oh." He looked down, disappointed.

So he gets upset because I won't accept food but he'll be peachy keen after rejecting him.

The voice huffed from her corner, still saying nothing. Again, I was thankful for that.

"Are you dating him?" Jacob asked me suddenly.

"I beg your pardon?" I looked at him curiously; his dark eyebrows were ferried as he looked at the ground in front of me, not really looking at me.

"Cullen." He said Edward's last name darkly. I bristled not knowing why exactly, "does it matter?"

"Yes, I want to know what I'm up against." He said, his eyebrows unknitting as he looked up, determination all over his face.

"I'm sorry Jacob, but I barely know you. How could your crush be so deep as to want to want to track down invisible adversaries?"

_LIES! Edward is not invisible!_

The inner monologue was seriously making me anxious. The voice rolled her eyes yet again.

"I told you Bella," Jacob grabbed my hand and held it in both of his hands, "you've had feelings for you seen we were kids. You stopped coming to the rez after your mom started getting sick," I flinched at the thought of Renee but Jacob didn't notice he kept going, _insensitive too. _"You started going to the Cullens more often and soon forgot about me." He looked at me through his lashes, sounding hurt.

I pulled away feeling a sense of guilt forgetting my promise to Charlie about considering him, "I'm sorry Jacob. I don't remember much before the age of five." He inhaled sharply, ignoring the guilt I was feeling for being so cold but I continued, "if you had such strong feelings for me how come you never tried coming over or whatever earlier instead of waiting such a long time to tell me?"

"I was afraid of your rejection."

"That makes no sense, " I felt the poison come into my mouth not knowing why I was rejecting Jacob's insistence, "I _have_ rejected you and you're still are here trying to 'woo' me."

"Wow what a fucking bitch." I turned around to find Leah, ready for a fight.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." She stood her ground challenging me.

"Bella." Charlie called me from where he stood by the tribe's elders. "Come here, I want you to meet some people." I looked at Leah and deciding it wasn't the time of place to get in a bitch fight I walked to Charlie, but not before throwing her daggers.

_You are being a bitch even though I agree with me. _I said nothing to the voice as I walked over to Dad not excusing myself with Jacob who just stood there. _Trust me, I don't feel like talking to you for awhile either, not until you admit it. But before I leave I want to remind you that I am your _subconscious_. The reason why I'm so vocal now is because you are desperately ignoring everything around you._

Charlie was introducing me to the tribe's elders, their friendly and warm greetings were mute to me. The voice went on,_ I _will _take over sooner than later, today in your room was just a hint so don't be surprised or shocked when I push you aside._

I stared at the bonfire in front of me completely breathless, not knowing what to think.

_Trust me._

* * *

**Uh oh... ;D**

**P.S.S. For those of you who might listen to the title song, the lyrics have NOTHING to do with the story hahaha I picked the song because of the title ;) Although I have to admit I love Eminem and dislike Mariah. Just sayin' ~I.E.**


	11. The Warning Pt 2

**So I'm not a psychology student, nor do I claim I know anything about psychology beyond the layman's terms. But I did some LIGHT research on Freudian psychoanalysis and I realized I had stumbled on to a convoluted version of Freud's theories.**

**The Voice in Bella's head was originally Bella's subconscious but looking at Freud's theories she's what you would call a combination of Bella's Id and Ego. The major part of Bella's personality, the "person" that fights the voice is a combination of Bella's Ego and Super Ego.**

**To clear things up, The Voice is Bella's emotions for Edward while the active part in her personality is Logic or the desire to fight her emotions for Edward because she doesn't want to see dumb Edward as nothing other than her tormentor.**

**Sorry if I confused you, it's pretty weird to me too but hey there it is.**

**Finally, this is a long chapter ahead, read it slowly because there's a lot to say.**

* * *

Eminem- _The Warning Pt. 2_

* * *

_2002 (cont.)_

**BPOV**

I woke up the morning after Christmas at Tulip Drive in a cold sweat. I dreamt I'd been staring at myself for a very long time until the mirror broke in half. One part of the mirror fell to the ground, shattering further while the other stayed fastened to the wall. I felt myself take a sharp, intense intake of breath as my eyes flew open to find myself on the floor of my small bedroom, tangled in my blankets.

"Bella?" Charlie knocked on my bedroom door, I blinked trying to hold on to the dream as it fought to disappear from my mind. "You alright?"

"Yes!" I finally cried out getting up and tripping as I went for the door, I grunted on the floor.

"I'm coming in!" Charlie said as he threw himself into the room as if expecting something else other than his daughter on the floor wrapped in blankets. He looked around, "could you help me up Dad?" I asked on the floor, pissed that he thought I'd been hiding something or _someone_ from him.

"Oh." He blushed a deep scarlet, "yeah of course." He took my hand and straightened me up. "What happened?"

"I was having a bad dream and fell to the ground, when I tried getting up I tripped over myself." I kicked my foot to show the tangled mess around me; Charlie nodded coughing a little. "So did you have fun last night?"

"Sure." Nope not at all.

"Are you sure?" He looked at me, skeptical.

"I loved the music and the bonfire," I smiled not lying, I had enjoyed the environment.

"I'm glad." He returned my smile and nodded, I looked down at his clothes- he was wearing his uniform.

"Going to work?"

"Yeah, it's going to be a busy day since people will be still out drinking and celebrating. We are keeping a heavy lookout for drunk drivers." I walked out of my room, waiting for me to untangle myself. I followed him out, "I won't be back until one in the morning." He sent me an apologetic look.

"Ok. I'm going to spend the day with Alice; Emmett and Edward are taking Jasper to Seattle."

"Oh?" We walked down the stairs, "how's Jasper liking Forks?"

"Fine, he met his aunt last week and spent the day with her."

"I'm glad Lisa got to spend the day with him, who would have thought right?" He went to the door for his gun belt. I opened the door for him as tightened the belt, "well I'm off. I'll see you tonight?"

"I was wondering if I could stay over with Alice? I don't want to sleep here alone." It was true I hated sleeping alone in an empty house. That and I'd made a deal with Edward.

I listened for my subconscious to say something but she didn't. I guessed she was going to keep her- my word in not voicing her "thoughts" until I admitted whatever it was she thought I needed to admit.

"Alright, thank Esme for me ok?" He kissed my forehead sending me a small smile and went to his cruiser. I waited for him to drive off before closing the door and going through my morning routine.

I called Alice to let her know I was on my way, "Cullen residence?" Emmett answered groggily.

"Hey Em."

"Morning Bella Ella!" I grinned, "your cookies are addicting! Edward ate most of them after I showed everyone your present." He sounded annoyed. I laughed rolling my eyes of course they would do something like that.

"Do you still have enough or do you want some more?" I had time before leaving for his house, I didn't mind baking some more, it relaxed me.

"No I don't want you to go through so much trouble."

"Nonsense, what type do you want now?" I knew he loved chocolate chip cookies more than any fancy or exotic flavor, simple enough.

"Edward ate all of the raspberry kisses, do you have the time to make me a batch?" The raspberry kisses as I called them, were small shortbread biscuits with raspberry "caramel" on top. Melted sugar and mashed up raspberries to be exact.

Alice said they looked like the cookies had been kissed the way red lipstick stains a stereotypical white collar, since them I called that type "raspberry kisses."

"Are the kisses becoming your favorite?"

"Hell yeah, I love your kisses!" He boomed laughing. "_Hey_!" I heard static in the background, "_Edward what the fuck!_"

"Hello?" His voice sounded clouded and laced with sleep, "Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"What's Emmett talking about?" He whispered threateningly. Did he sound… jealous? If he was, this was too funny.

Wait. Edward jealous? Really? "My raspberry kisses. Why?" I didn't believe myself, Edward would never be jealous for me, right?

"Your raspberry kisses?" He asked slowly, turning the words in his lips. "Uh, yeah."

"Oh."

"_Are you done?_" Emmett asked somewhere behind him, I could hear his annoyance even though he was away from the receiver. "Yeah sorry."

"Edward!" Anger bubbled around me, he was being reckless again!

"What?" He came back, dumbfounded.

"The insurance." I couldn't risk Emmett possibly listening in any way possible.

"Oh. Yeah, don't worry the policy still holds true, there's no issue there." Why did he sound so out of it, it wasn't like him.

"It better be you'll have to pay a massive deductible if you get in an accident." I threatened thickly.

"Understood. I'm handing the phone to Emmett, see you later."

What the fuck was that?

"Sorry Bella," Emmett was back sounding exasperated, "he sounds half asleep."

"It's alright." I bit my lip hoping Emmett didn't find it out of the ordinary that Edward wanted to know about my "kisses."

"Alice is still sleeping but I'll let her know you're coming over." He said brightly, I sighed relieved the storm had passed. "Ok, I'll be over after eleven I need to do some chores and then your cookies ok?"

"You don't have to," he sounded bashful but I knew he was wishing for the treats, he reminded me of a little boy. "Edward will just steal them anyway."

"And yet I know you'll consider it sharing." I shook my head.

"You know it." I could imagine him winking playfully so unlike his brother. I sighed thinking to the night before, "see you later alligator."

"After a while crocodile." I laughed, it was so outdated it was funny. I hung up and went on to do my chores but not before preparing the ingredients for Emmett's batch making sure to put out some butter in the butter tray so it soften to room temperature while I did everything else.

The faster I finished my chores, the faster I would get to go to the Cullens.

~.~.~.

I packed my night bag and put Emmett's freshly baked cookies in a tray as I walked out of my house. I briefly thought about getting a job and saving to get a new car when I heard the familiar purr of my favorite Volvo.

I turned around to see Edward come to a stop on the curb of my drive way. I should have felt angry and annoyed that he'd invited himself over but I didn't, if anything I was happy he'd taken it upon himself to drive me to his house.

"Hey." He got out coming to help me with my things.

"What are you doing here so early?" That didn't mean I wasn't going to act angry.

"I was sent to bring you back." He said bending down to kiss my cheek with easy familiarity. Huh? "Come on, Emmett expects his batch of cookies." He laughed as if remembering something particularly funny.

"He wouldn't be angry at you if you hadn't stolen the cookies I baked him the first time."

"They were too tempting and enticing; I just had to steal one..." He opened the door for me, the window to the passenger seat was open so I could hear him perfectly, "and then another and another... You're kisses are just too delicious to just have one." He told me thickly. I felt butterflies in my stomach but turned on the bitchy levels.

"My cookies are not chips."

"No they are most definitely not." He chuckled and rounded his car to his seat. To distract my eyes which were following him hungrily, I put my bag at my feet focusing too much on it. "Seatbelt please."

"You're going to tell me about safety, really?"

"Yes, you forget you're the town's police chief's daughter. I can't _not _ask you to do something that could possibly save your life." As soon as my belt clicked into place he sped off towards his house taking the backstreets as was his habit. Or at least one of them.

"Did Emmett ask questions after your dumb slip up?" I looked out of my window, a small dusting of fresh snow on the ground covering the outskirts of the forest in a weird, fantasy-like blanket.

"Nope, he thought I was asleep."

"Were you?" I turned away from the window and looked at him, wanting to see his face as he spoke to me.

"Somewhat." He nodded not looking at me.

"Edward." I looked at him pointedly, when he didn't look at me I turned away again. I wasn't in the mood to argue just yet. Leah and Jacob were still fresh in my mind. I was thankful Charlie felt my sour mood when we went home the night before and didn't ask many questions.

As if reading my mind Edward asked, "how was the celebration?"

"Ok I guess."

"How was Jacob?" He sneered, bringing back my theory of jealousy.

"An overly confident idiot." I scoffed not being able to stop the words coming out of my mouth, "he's so annoying. I mean how many times must I say 'no' before I have to tattoo it in his body?"

"Ouch." Edward drove into the lane leading to his home, he wanted to sound objective but I could make out the tiny bit of enjoyment in his voice.

"What? It's true." I huffed, feeling unnaturally defensive in my cold honesty; I didn't feel like myself and yet there was nothing wrong with me as far as I could tell.

"I'm not judging, if anything I agree with you."

"Really?"

"Yes." He nodded, his handsome face suddenly very serious, "if she says 'no' a gentleman should always accept that no matter what, that is if the man in question is a gentleman." I stared at him not knowing what to say. Before I could gather my thoughts we reached the mansion. He parked in the garage, next to Emmett's new Jeep. He'd gotten it as a birthday present to himself last year. It was a huge, monstrous thing but surprisingly very him.

"But I've said 'no' to you and you never listened." I was pissed at his hypocrisy.

"You're right to some degree." He nodded still serious, "but let's put this away for now, Alice is running towards us." He whispered just as Alice came into view, she was hearing jeans, an artistically ripped shirt and stylish cowgirl boots.

Say what?

"Hey Bella I'm glad you're back!" She hugged me and lead me to the house, Eliza was putting away some dishes, "hey hon had a good time last night?"

"They told you I went to the reservation?" I looked to Alice who shrugged.

"No, Sue Clearwater mentioned you went as Jacob's date today at the market."

"Wait what?!" I screamed putting my things down noisily, thankful that Edward had carried my cookies in otherwise they would have fallen to the ground. Well that's what I originally thought before hearing him put the tray down on the black marble island a little too roughly.

"What's wrong?"

"I didn't go as his date; I went because Billy Black invited Dad to join in on the celebration."

"Oh." She looked embarrassed. "Why would Mrs. Clearwater be saying that though?" Alice asked me, cocking her head to the side.

"Isn't it obvious?" Edward answered her darkly. "Jacob is the one spreading the rumor."

"Oh." Alice nodded turning back to me, "what are you going to do?"

"Kill him obviously." I grabbed my bag but Edward took it from me, his eyes were dark and stormy. "I got it." He told me going to the stairs, I followed him hearing Alice behind me. "How do you want to do it?" Edward asked me.

"I was thinking running him over, maybe."

"Nah too unoriginal."

"Break his neck?" I grinned smugly, enjoying my plotting with him. It made me want to lick him, mmm... that would be tasty.

"No too quick."

"Push him into the Pacific?"

"What if he knows how to swim?"

"What do you offer then?" We reached my room, he walked in making himself at home putting the bag in the bathroom as Alice and I waited for him to come back.

"Hmm... cut his tongue? That's the source of our problem." He came back going to sit in my couch, Alice sat on the other side and I sat on the edge of my bed.

"True, true." I mused, Alice laughed.

"You two have watched too many Stephen King movies." She crossed her legs and leaned back. She knew we were joking, sure why not?

"It's not fair he's spreading rumors about me," Edward nodded steepling his long elegant fingers watching me intently. I turned to him serious, "when do you want to do it?"

"Right now if you've got the time."

"No, it's daytime, let's wait 'til tonight." I shook my head, loving our game. Another one to add to the list. "True," he sighed putting his arm behind his head leaning into the sofa, "do you want to do it or should I?"

"You do it, I hate blood." I scrunched my nose, adding a dramatic effect but not being totally untruthful. I really did hate blood so much I felt faint when I got the smallest of papercuts. "You up for it Cullen?"

"Oh _fuck_ yes." He grinned darkly his perfect mouth curling at the ends, "It will be my pleasure to do so for you ba-Bella." He glanced at Alice who just stared blankly at him.

"You guys are so weird." She got up and walked to the door, "I'm going to see if Emmett and Jasper are done playing one-on-one basketball. Don't come downstairs until you're over your weird planning ok?" She closed the door behind her leaving Edward and I alone. We looked at each other at the same time, when our eyes met we cracked up laughing.

"That was too funny!" He threw his neck back giving me a perfect view of his delicious-looking neck and strong jawline. I licked my lips thinking about my earlier fantasies but snapping out of it quickly.

"I think we got a little carried away..." I looked to the door biting my lip and wondering where the bloodlust had come from. Edward looked up still laughing, "oh come on, vengeance isn't that bad." I turned back to him trying to kill the small grin that was threatening to burst out.

He crossed his leg over his knee perching his elbow on the armrest leaning his head into his curved backhand. He stopped laughing, but kept smiling. "I never thought you'd play along."

I shrugged throwing my back towards the bed, his eyes tightened but didn't move, "I don't like people spreading rumors about me, especially if they're false."

"Are you still going to mention this to Jacob?" His voice sounded cool but with a hint curiosity.

"Of course! I don't want to see him though, I might really cut his tongue out," I gave him a knowing look as he lifted his head, his lips quirked up but I ignored it, "stay close by I don't know if or when I leave to get him."

"Understood." He said gravely bowing his head but there was a hint of teasing coming up. "I am at your service madam." I laughed at his over-dramatization. I'd never been so... open with Edward. My walls had always been up even when we made out but at that moment I didn't feel the need to put them up. I didn't have to.

He stood up clearing his throat, "I was going to give you your Christmas present last night but you left before I had a chance to."

Oh?

I got up from the bed looking at my closet door where I'd put the present. "I agree."

"Hold on, I'll go get it now." He went through the bathroom quickly as I got out his store-wrapped present, I grinned feeling the competitive edge coming back to me.

He was back in the room before I had a chance to close the door, he looked out of breath for having to walked a few feet. The little black envelope I'd seen next him on my bed when I walked in the night before was in his hands.

"Here." He offered me the envelope. I put his present on my bed chest that doubled as a small bench. I looked at him suspiciously, what was he giving me that could fit into a small envelope?

"Jasper got the concert ticket idea from me," he rushed out I turned the envelope around so I could open its unsealed mouth, "he felt bad he didn't bring gifts so after seeing mine and hearing Alice go on about how much she likes Aguilera he bought the tickets."

"He didn't have to do that you know?" I said truthfully, wanting to stretch my opening the present. I could tell it was getting under his skin but he didn't press me to open it, "he's a guest after all."

"I know but he didn't listen." He shrugged laughing a bit. "Are you going to open it?"

"I will." I knew it, he did want me to open it quickly, "I'm just trying to figure out what Jasper has to do with this."

"Oh well um..." He ran his hand through his hair nervously, "open it and it will explain itself." He bartered, I giggled knowing he wouldn't throw in the towel just yet.

I opened the envelope and pulled out two tickets, unlike Jasper's though they weren't concert tickets- they were spa gift certificates. I cocked an eyebrow at Edward who's eyes were trained on me. "Spa tickets?"

"Yeah." He let out a shallow breath, "you're always so tense," I cocked an eyebrow but deciding not to cut him off just yet, "I wanted to give you something to loosen you up."

My eyes popped out thinking back to the voice's words the day before, _"god you need to get laid. Maybe you won't be such a bitch if he loosens you up- if you know what I mean."_

"The second ticket is for Alice of course." He cleared his throat glancing at the floor quickly.

"Um..." I blushed furiously looking at the floor as impossible images of Edward _loosening _me up flooding my mind's eye. "I-I don't know Edward."

"Bella," he rolled his eyes, "it's just a day at the spa it's no big deal."

"You know how I feel about people seeing me nude." I wrapped my arms around me sheltering myself from the voiceless critics. He let out a sigh holding me to his chest. I didn't say anything but he did surprise me.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of," he dug his face in my hair whispering right into my ear making my heartbeat rise once again. "I know I called you fat when we were kids," he said so in a pained groan, "but I was a stupid immature kid."

"You still are." I said darkly but feeling the room spin around me. I was thankful he was holding on to me in case I lost my balance and embarrassed myself further.

He chuckled still at my ear, the butterflies flew out in a frenzy forcing my eyes to roll back. "Touché, but I'm serious."

"What do you mean?" I sighed feeling his hands grasp me tighter.

"Hundreds of millions of women pay equal amounts of money to look like you." I rolled my eyes at the cliché, Alice and my dad would tell me this every time I felt self-conscious about my body. "No," he felt my skepticism and held me tighter still, "you know I'm right."

"And you know it's just as true the other way around."

"Marilyn Monroe, Rita Hayworth-"

"Audrey and Kathrine Hepburn-" I countered knowing where he was going, another cliché.

"Ginger Rogers at one point-"

"Edward." I pulled away, I didn't need his unsolicited advice to help me get rid of my demons, "I thank you for the gift but I'd rather you give them to a more grateful recipient." I was surprised at my formality.

"You can't say no to a Christmas present Bella." He sounded hurt but his voice became hard by the last syllable.

"Yes I can."

"You're blowing this out of proportion," He turned on his heel angrily. "I thought Dr. Carter was trying to help you get over your insecurities," I bristled at the mention of my psychiatrist; it was none of his business where I stood with my issues.

"No one asked you for your advice Edward." I turned my face landing on the present I'd bought for him. I grabbed it and handed it to him roughly. "I hope you like it, I pick it out thinking of you." My voice came out smug.

His face was stoic but his eyes gave away his anger, "thank you." He said brusquely. He ripped the wrapping paper and opened the small box. Inside was a green satin tie with a dark red and orange rooster, the word "Cocky" was written underneath just above the geometric cuts. Edward looked confused for a moment and then started laughing.

"Wow really?" He held up the tie looking at me incredulously.

"Yes." I didn't expect this reaction, more like annoyance but not, well, arrogant incredulity.

"Come on baby you could have come up with something better." He put the tie back in the box dropping it on my bed chest and wrapping his arms around my hips. "I know you could have done better than that."

"Don't be stupid Edward, that tie describes you perfectly."

"That's true." He mused looking up above my head in faux thought, "I am the biggest cock in this town-" he looked down at me winking making me blush again, "pun intended. But you already knew that." I tried pushing him off but he held me tightly, "and I am damn proud of it." His old sensual tone was back.

"Edward." I gritted my teeth pushing his hard chest away from me.

"You promised you'd come to my room tonight." He whispered suggestively into my ear.

"Yes," I growled desperately trying not to meet his eyes, if I did I knew I'd get lost in them again and that wasn't something I was willing to let happen. "But nothing more than a few kisses."

He groaned, "really?"

"Yes."

"But-"

"A gentleman will bow out when the lady says 'no'." I reminded him of his own words. He focused on my eyes finally forcing me to look at him.

"Alright. But a gentleman will also give the lady what she wants, if and when she wants it." He said in a low thick tone. My breath caught in my throat getting at what he was trying to say.

"As if."

He let me go, his green eyes were filled with lust but he kept his distance taking my breath away once again. "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched." He winked and sauntered over to his room through our bathroom.

Ugh, so fucking arrogant.

But I loved it.

~.~.~.

"We'll be back later tonight ok?" Emmett told Alice and as the guys got into his Jeep. They were going to Seattle for some male bonding, something Alice and I were not interested in. Esme had gone on a winter picnic with Dr. Cullen saying something similar to the boys but sticking to marital bonding.

Alice had told me Emmett and Edward did not take this nicely and had shivered when their mom announced the picnic. I rolled my eyes at their immaturity.

Alice had tried to dissuade them from going alone and asked if she and I could tag along but Edward was adamant, he wanted some alone time with his older brother and his best friend.

Alice was pissed of course but she didn't want to give away her now-obvious infatuation on Jasper. I knew she would fess up to it as soon as they were gone. "How long are you going to be gone?"

"We'll be back by seven thirty; before Eliza leaves for home." Emmett turned on the Jeep, Edward and Jasper were putting on their seatbelts.

"Ok," Alice nodded, "remember that Bella and I don't want to sleep alone in the house tonight so don't stay out too late please."

"Don't worry you and _Bella_ won't be sleeping alone tonight." Edward grinned looking at me knowingly. I looked away blushing yet again still a little pissed at his gift.

It also annoyed me that I hadn't gotten the desired reaction out of him. Now that I thought of it, it was a little stupid and expected I would have to make up for it. "Ok!" Alice waved goodbye making me wonder where her ire had evaporated to and why. She'd been begging and pleading them to take us with them all morning and early afternoon.

Emmett pulled out the garage and drove off towards the entrance of the long lane.

"Want to call Rose?" I asked going into the kitchen once the Jeep was out of sight.

"Yeah, we can watch _Clueless_, _Shakespeare in Love_ and _Romeo + Juliet!_" I knew she was waiting a bit before she could spring her confession of love towards a gallant baby-blue-eyed blonde.

When Rose got to the Cullen mansion she brought popcorn, candy and an assortment of magazines to read. We moved to the little-used gameroom in the first floor. That's where the Cullens kept their television. "This is going to be awesome!"

Alice put in the _Clueless _in the VCR and fast-forwarded the trailers and pressed play when the movie began. Eliza brought in some refreshments with the freshly popped corn and told us she would be dusting the house before dinner.

We spent the day watching romcoms filling out ridiculous "Who'd You Rather" quizzes in Rose's magazines- I was going to marry Leo in ten years. I would have preferred Hugh Grant, Colin Firth or Johnny Depp but hey, Leo was ok I guess.

"So." Alice began much like her brother when she had something important to say, "I want to marry Jasper Whitlock." She said very matter a factly as she checked her handiwork on Rosalie's hand. We'd moved on to manis and pedis by late afternoon.

There it was.

Keeping up with her detached announcement I blew on my fresh coat of nude nail polish knowing she was blowing things out of proportion. Rose had tried to put on a blood red but I'd told her I preferred a nude pink, I was willing to do the girly things but not go overboard.

"Is he that hot blonde that came with Edward from college?"

"Yeah."

Rose looked up at the ceiling thinking, "he's not as hot as your brother though." She said to Alice who gasped. I looked at her feeling a weird sense of anger and betrayal in my stomach.

"You think my brother's hot?"

But I really wanted to ask "you think my Edward is hot, you bitch?!"

Wait.

What?

"Uh yeah." She scoffed looking at Alice incredulously. I bit my lip trying to control both the anger and immense disappointment Of course someone as beautiful as Rosalie would want a boyfriend as handsome as Edward. I imagined them together, hand in hand happy and well... perfect.

I swallowed hard feeling a huge sense of loss on top of the other feelings-I didn't know what to do with myself so I kept quiet. "Alice," Rose said annoyed, "you don't see it because well he's your_brother_," she winced, she was right. Edward was hot something that would be lost to Alice.

Why couldn't it be lost to Rose though?

"Emmett is... damn. He's just juicy." She said staring off into space, her eyes out of focus unlike mine who were glued to her, my mind having a hard time trying to understand what she was saying.

My heart beat once but soon went on overdrive to the point of making me feel dizzy. Thankfully I'd been sitting on the floor.

"Ewww!" Alice jumped up forgetting her manicure. "He's _Emmett_! He's loud and-"

"Hot." Rose nodded once totally serious. Part of me wanted to laugh from Alice's reaction, Rose's nonchalance and the immense relief I was feeling.

"No no no no no!"

"Yes yes yes yes yes." She mimicked her tone rolling her eyes.

"No Emmett is-"

"_My_ future husband." Rose put away Alice's choice of color and went for the blood red nail polish she'd tried to get me to use. She began to apply it to her perfect nails, disinterested in Alice's craziness.

"But-"

"Let's get dinner huh?" I asked trying to calm Alice's fast approaching panic attack. I knew she didn't mind Rosalie as a possible girlfriend for his brother, but she'd never seen Emmett or Edward as "guys." She'd known Emmett had girlfriends before and Edward had crushes and girls that were interested in him, but to Alice they were still in the playground pushing each other over who would get to go down the slide first.

"Ok." Rose shrugged putting the nail polish aside and blowing on her nails, she walked out knowing where to go from her past visits.

"She likes Emmett!" Alice screeched in a high pitched voice.

"I know." I nodded going to her as she stared at me open mouthed.

"You knew?!"

"No, I meant as in I was here when she said it." It was a lie. I'd noticed Rose would stare at Emmett just like Alice with Jasper in Emmett's last visits. Just like Alice though, I'd waited for Rose tell me herself instead of forcing it out of her. It was her secret and her feelings so I wanted to respect that.

"I can't believe it." Alice whispered looking at the floor still in shock.

"Relax Alice. You knew this would happen eventually."

"What? One of my best friends falling for my brother?" She asked me unbelievably, I swallowed hard but ignored the odd sensation I felt. "No, that your brothers would be looked at as guys," I'd wanted to say 'men' but they weren't there yet, Edward especially.

Alice looked at me, staring a little too intensely for my liking. I wanted to pull away but her invisible grasp was too strong. Her green eyes flickered all over my face and then her lips broke out into a huge smile, "you're right."

What the fuck?

"You're absolutely right Bella. I have to be more mature about this." She nodded once and grabbed my hand, "my brothers are growing up and so am I." Ah there it was- the scheming tone in her voice gave away her plotting. "If Emmett starts seeing Rose in the future then that means they won't be so against me dating Jasper." She wrapped her arm around my elbow and we walked into the hallway down towards the main part of the house.

"But you don't even know if Emmett will ever be interested in Rose." I whispered looking to see if Rose was near, thankfully she'd already gone beyond the corridor to hear us.

"True, but there's always hope."

"Why don't you just ask Jasper?"

"I'm too cowardly." She admitted ruefully, I looked at her surprised by her honesty to which she laughed lightly, "let's face it, Jasper must be used to worldly women, I'm still a little girl in his eyes and it doesn't help that I'm his best friend's _little_ sister. But if Rose has a shot with Emmett that must mean I have a shot with Jasper."

Renee once said to me, "speak of the devil and doth shall appear" and appear he did. We reached the entrance of the back corridor to find Jasper and Edward going up the grand staircase. They were whispering to each other when I noticed them.

"Oh there you are." Jasper said leaning over the banister to get a better look at us, he held on to a neatly pile of clothes in his arm. I felt Alice shrink even more in embarrassment.

"You're home."

"Yeah we just got back." Edward said, sounding a little tired.

"What did you do in Seattle?" Alice failed at trying not to sound too curious.

"Walked around, grabbed a bite nothing much." Edward said also leaning over the banister, holding his hands together. "Wow so manly." Alice rolled her eyes letting me go and wrapping her arms pouting angrily.

"Most definitely." Edward nodded, something in his tone told me they had done "manly" things but what were they? "We'll be down for dinner. Emmett's keeping Rose company in the living room. I need to shower." He ran up the rest of the stairs as Jasper waved goodbye. I assumed he would use the second bathroom to shower.

We walked to the living room to find Emmett sitting with a blushing Rosalie, something I'd never ever seen. Rose was girly sure but she never blushed or shifted her eyes. Her I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude always kept that side of her in check.

Wow.

"Hey!" Emmett walked to us hugging both Alice and I happily. Rose bit her lip behind his back as she clutched her heart dramatically. I laughed making Emmett look at me curiously, I grinned not giving anything away.

"Go take a shower, Jazz and Edward are already doing so."

"Alright." He nodded before turning to Rosalie, "nice seeing you again Rosalie. I'll show you my projects next time I see you ok?"

"Alright." She nodded shyly.

Rosalie Hale being shy? No way.

Emmett excused himself, she waited for him to be out of sight to start squealing and jumping up and down, Alice huffed in anger but I knew she didn't hold it against her.

~.~.~.

Dinner was uneventful. Rose and Alice were quiet as the boys held another sport discussion; this time around the topic was hockey.

Boring.

Edward would speak to me every now and then; we were the only "normals' in the group. Jasper and Emmett were totally oblivious, thank god.

Eliza went home for the day and Emmett asked Rose if she wanted to drop him off at her house. Alice didn't want to leave them alone so she offered to go along, pissing Rose off but she didn't outwardly show it. This was not good.

Not having his fill of Forks just yet, Jasper asked if he could come along which they agreed to. Edward sent me a heavy look when Jasper asked us if we wanted to go along. I said I had a headache from the polish fumes and Edward feigned sleepiness from the day's trip. Emmett told us he'd be back in fifteen minutes and left with the rest of them.

Edward and I had the house to ourselves.

Wow.

Edward closed the door and went up the staircase with me, the sudden buzz of electricity filled the air but we acted as if we didn't feel it, "how was your day?"

"It was fine." I shrugged.

Good, safe subjects are always good.

"Really?" He wanted more information but waited for me to offer it.

"Yes." I nodded as we went towards our corridor, "we watched _Clueless_, did our nails and found out who we'd marry in ten years."

"Oh?" He's was intrigued but he didn't let on_. _I wasn't going to make it easy for him; I was enjoying the idea of his jealousy towards me too enjoyable to pass by.

"Alice will marry Tom Hanks, not bad if you ask me and Rosalie will marry Ben Affleck."

"That's interesting." We reached his room, I deliberated whether to make this easy for him or not but I knew I'd made him a promise in exchange for his silence and I was definitely not going to throw away fifteen minutes of absolute freedom. I would be wasting time. He opened the door waiting for me to enter. His eyes were hooded and expectant. I walked in coolly, he grinned and closed the door behind him locking the door out of habit.

The room was dark with the windows letting in the moonlight much like the night of Alice's masquerade. He went for the lights dimming them again as he took off his fresh cashmere sweater and unbottoned his mint green button down. "Pray tell who will _you_ marry?"

I tried to calm my fast beating heart and took a deep breath before answering- I didn't want my voice to give me away. "Leonardo DiCaprio." I shrugged pouting, disappointed.

"You don't like Leo?"

"No."

"Why?" He came to me and held me against his lean frame, making me want to sigh.

"Not my type." I shrugged again glancing at the window.

"What's your type?" He whispered leaning into my jaw inhaling deeply. Goosebumps exploded all over my body making me shiver, this I could not hide from him.

"I don't have one."

"You don't?" He sounded curious again but didn't press on, he just traced his nose along my jaw and my eyelids fluttered shut.

I'm wasting time.

Not waiting for anything else I attacked his mouth sucking on his bottom lip, he caught on quickly and pulled me to his bed not breaking the kiss. I expected to be nervous but I wasn't if anything I was glad he was so willing.

"Mmmmm..." Edward hummed into my mouth as he took over the kiss his hands held me in place as I involuntarily roamed his chest wanting to see him shirtless again. I ripped away from his lips attaching them to the hollow of his neck, "fuck." He hissed lolling his head to the side giving me better access. His hands dug deep into my waist, enjoying the lust and adrenaline rushing through my body.

"Bella." He called me hoarsely, "baby." He was trying to stop but now that I knew what it felt like to not give a fuck and go with my desires I wasn't going to stop. Edward had other plans though.

Dragging his hands up my body he held my shoulders and weakly pulled me off of him, sighing annoyingly I looked at him pouting. "What?"

"Why so..." his eyes were dancing, his face was pink with color and his breathing was labored, "enthusiastic?" I pulled away thinking about it. He was right, why was I so enthusiastic all of a sudden?

I mean part of me was nervous but the bigger part was excited and exuberant. "I-I'm not sure."

"Don't get me wrong," he said looking at me nervously, "I love it but up until last night I had to fight the wall you usually put up." He looked down, blushing deeper.

"I honestly don't know." He told him seriously but not meeting his eyes instead I focused on where I knew his confession of sorts was tattooed playing with the edge of his collar. "I just saw you over there," I motioned to the bathroom door but truly meaning my bedroom, "enjoying our plotting earlier," laughed thinking at how stupid we must've sounded, "and had the sudden desire to kiss you." I looked down dropping my hand and feeling my face burn with embarrassment.

"Well," he sounded relieved and teasing, "if it just takes to plot a murder to get you to come to me, we'll plot every moment of the day." He pushed my chin towards him. I met his eyes feeling the smoldering underneath my skin. I bit my lip when I looked at his dark swollen bottom lip he bit it in response growling.

"Are we done talking?" I asked impatiently mentally shocked at my sudden change in attitude. What the fuck?

"Hell yes." He went back to my lips grinding his hips into the apex of my thighs making me gasp in shock. The sensation was sharp and intense, I'd never felt something similar in my life.

"Again." I said without thinking; I balled his hands into fists with his button down, my eyes rolled back.

I heard him hum in acceptance as he pushed my hips down to meet his thrust. "Oh!" The sensation was deeper than the first one, making my body feel like a live wire. "I love that look on your face." He whispered in pain, I looked to him wondering if he was but all I saw was the familiar hurricane in his eyes.

"Ditto." I gasped out still reeling.

He smirked did it again, grunting watching my face intently as if trying to remember every single detail of my face, so I did the same. His eyebrows knitted cutely, he bit into his lip savagely making me think for a moment that he may draw blood but before I could move on to the next part of his face I felt a weird coil in my lower stomach almost as if preparing for some kind of-

"Oh!" I threw my back out as I felt some invisible spring lose control in my lower abdomen. He held on to me tightly as I lost control of my body feeling an eruption of pleasure spread through me like a deranged fire. I shut my eyes reflexively getting swept up in the massive tsunami, the feeling was so intense I thought my heart would stop.

"Relax Bella." Edward whispered holding on to my thrashing body. "Shhh..." I tried telling him to shut the fuck up but the pleasure was still there, not as intense as a second ago but it still held me in its current. "Are you ok?" He whispered laying me down in the bed and standing close to me but not over me.

"Yes." I answered hoarsely feeling my body tingle in response.

"That was fast…" He whispered.

"What was?" I swallowed my legs felt like jelly and awkward but under it all I felt blissful. What had just happened?

Edward chuckled kissing my cheek lightly, "you love," he nuzzled his face into my throat slowly taking a deep breath "just had your first orgasm."

"Really?" I pushed him off looking at his face not believing him.

"Yes." He looked at my face searching for something, "are you ok?" I thought about this before answering. I needed to make sure how I felt before answering.

So I'd just had my first orgasm. Once again, I turned to the side conversations more experienced girls held around me. Victoria had mentioned that it was literally an explosion of pleasure igniting all over your body. Lauren had said something about feeling like your extremities were pure jelly. So far that's exactly how I felt.

I looked up at Edward who was looking at me with a worried expression, "are you ok sweetie?"

"Um. I think so."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." I nodded, still feeling the pleasure ebbing to and end but the happy feeling I felt was still there under the surface.

Edward gave out a sigh, "I'm glad." He smiled brightly making me smile and feeling excited one more time.

"Edward," I held my breath almost instantly as I looked at my hands in front of me, blood rushing to my cheeks furiously.

I'm really going to do this right?

I looked for my subconscious but she wasn't there, feeling a sense of loss when I didn't find her silver tongue. My silver tongue. Oh whatever.

I focused on Edward taking a second deep breath, "what is it Bella?" He put a strand of my hair behind my ear.

Here I go.

"Um…" Oh god I can't.

"Yes?" He lifted my chin to meet his eyes, impatience all over his tone.

Now or never.

"Could you do that again?" I looked away shutting my eyes not wanting to listen to his possible rejection.

"Oh definitely." Old Edward was back, he pushed on to the bed wrapping his arms around my waist his mouth on mine.

That's when I heard her again, _I win. _Her haughty grin not escaping my notice.

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**Two things.**

**One: The V-Card is still in play for the next couple of chapters BUT I'm not promising anything. I have an outline for the story but it's not set in stone.**

**Two: For those of you who are able to vote tomorrow/today depending on where you live in the U.S. please do so. It is a privilege as well as a right but above all a privilege. And to those in the east coast, I hope you're doing ok under the circumstances. Please know that the rest of us are behind you at all times.**

**On a lighter note: I totally forgot how fucking handsome Robert Pattinson is... damn...**


	12. Skin

**Firstly, Tuesday was seriously the best day of my life to date. Absolutely everything went my way- at work, at home, in the voting polls ;) and you guys just made it that much better by sending me all of your love.**

**I know 100 reviews isn't much for some of you who've gotten 1k but a hundred reviews for this girl is more than she imagined for this story. Thank you so much!**

**And thank you to veraleeon for agreeing to pre-read for me when it suddenly popped in my head and threw the idea at you hahaha.**

**Hint: I would have the title song on repeat as I read this chapter if I were you...**

**Enjoy ;)**

* * *

Rihanna- _Skin_

* * *

**BPOV**

_2002 (cont.)_

The night after Christmas, Edward and I had been alone in his bedroom after being left behind by everyone else. Edward gave me my first ever orgasm and twice afterwards after sneaking back to his bedroom after everyone had gone to sleep.

He'd also sneaked into his bedroom because he had been sleeping in the guest house with Jasper as a way to keep him company. He'd told me Jazz was dead to world and wouldn't notice his absence while he was with me in the main house. I was relieved.

"Why are my orgasms so quick?" I asked him after he made a second comment on how fast I reached the peak as he called it.

"Because you're a virgin and your body's not used to it." We were lying in his bed, I was on my back he was propped on his elbow; being the arrogant bastard that he was he wanted to show off his chest to me once again and had taken off his shirt sometime in the evening. I'd been too preoccupied to really know when he did.

One thing I did have to admit though, his tattoo looked delicious and exciting making my mouth water. The lights were off because the room was supposed to be empty but the moonlight drifted in to the room giving it a ghostly silver look.

Edward was lightly dragging his index finger down my arm sending chills down my spine.

"So this feeling is going to go away?" I knew I sounded ignorant but I'd rather get my answers then walk blindly through the world, this brand new world of pure pleasure and ecstasy.

Edward chuckled his voice a rich velvet, "not really. The novelty will wear off but if you know what to do and _he_ knows what he's doing, you'll feel way more satisfied than now." I looked at him trying to wrap my mind around _more_ pleasure. He was grinning, green eyes melted and warm- I felt good.

"Does he know how to pleasure me though?" I asked, stupid bravado taking over me. Edward's grin fell and his eyes turned into dark orbs filled with passion and lust.

"I'm sure he knows a few tricks or so _beyond_ what he's already showed you." He whispered thickly grasping my hip and pushing his erection towards the apex of my thighs.

"Would you willing to show me?" I didn't know what had come over me to suddenly want Edward to touch me in ways I'd never imagined but I had given up trying to figure out the three faces of Eve.

"Depends." He said not finishing his thought, wanting me to ask him to.

"On?" _Eh. I'm too blissed out to give him a proper fight._

"If you're willing to undress." I pushed him away and was thankful he didn't fight it. He stayed where he was as I took in the idea of seeing someone see me naked. Not just someone but Edward Cullen.

"Isn't what we did enough?"

He laughed lightly, I could tell he wasn't laughing at me though which relaxed me, "baby dry humping is _nothing _compared to what I want to do with you." The blithe tone dropped being replaced by a low whisper.

"There must be another way."

"No not really."

I huffed looking at myself in his mirror. I hated mirrors.

"Jane Winters said she gets herself off," I turned to him and found him dropping his mouth to the floor, "I'm sure I can do that." He growled throwing himself on his bed suddenly his hand flying to his erection over his silk pajama pants.

"Oh yes please."

"Edward." I stomped my foot surprised at both my abdomen waking up again and the annoyance of his mind racing to pleasuring myself.

"Again again again." He chanted his hand rubbing faster. I rolled my eyes watching him again, he looked up, "you're going to watch me again?"

"Yes."

"Hmmmm..." He sighed throwing his head back, _do not look away._

I wasn't going to.

_Good, you've learned your lesson._

Edward pulled his penis out and wrapped his hand over his huge cock throwing his pants to the floor, _where are his boxers...? Oh fuck..._ "Do not look away." He ordered me breathlessly.

"Hurry up." _No don't, don't rush._

"You want me to rush?" His voice came out pained, but his face was angry.

"Yes." I lifted my chin, "we were talking about me masturbating not you." Now that I didn't run from anything sexual I was going to tease the shit out of him. Tit for tat if you ask me._Pun fucking intended._

"Oh god." His eyes rolled back as he let out a low grunt and let go, he thrashed around his bed. His juices coming out in heady loads. The image of his face contouring in what I assumed was the pleasure I'd felt before, his body reacting to the surge of passion and his eyes meeting mine all in one moment made me want to feel him. He looked divine in the silver light.

What would feel like to wrap my hand around his throbbing cock the way he did? Would he like it? Would he beg for more the way I was non-verbally doing right then?

"Fuck." He whispered as he lowered his hips to the bed, I wanted more though. _I_ wasn't done.

"Done?"

He looked up at me, confused for a moment but then the lust was back. His member twitched making him moan, "you wake me up so fucking fast."

"I hope that's a good thing."

"It is." He nodded sitting up and grabbing some tissues from his bedside table. He wiped himself off, eyes trained on me as he slowly cleaned himself up.

"How many?" Anger hit me suddenly when I realized something crucial, his response would weigh heavily in my ultimate decision in continuing on with our agreement.

"How many what?" He threw the wad of used tissues in the little trash can he had by his desk. A normal person like me who wasn't into sports would not have made the shot but someone as athletic as he found the shot to be easy as pie. "Times I jack off to you? I don't know... two or three times a day depending on our banter." His voice was dead serious, no tone of humor anywhere.

Wait what?

I tried to imagine Edward jacking off to thoughts of me but my brain couldn't fathom it.

_Come off it, stupid. He's told you before he does this._ The voice told me rolling her eyes and sounding exasperated. _Don't deny it, you're loving the fact that he can't seem to get enough of you._

"Um." I blushed violently but didn't allow it to hinder my real question, "that's not what I meant." The anger was back and thick, _just like his cock… yum._

Shut up, not now.

"I meant how many partners have you had?" I braced myself for the response; I imagined a bevy of beautiful modelesque girls that could compete with the likes of perfect Rosalie.

"Partners?" He asked me, suddenly perplexed.

"Yes. As in sexual partners." I was being especially bitchy mentally accepting the fact that it would be a long list.

Edward looked away blushing, once again making me reel since Edward and the act of blushing was like seeing a shark walk on land. It just didn't happen but when it did you couldn't believe it even if it was staring at you in the face. "Well?"

He cleared his throat, dragging his hand through his hair roughly, I'd been right. It _was_ a long list. Feeling an odd pain in my chest I pushed it away and tried to make fun of him, "oh wow." I crossed my arms around me, not because I wanted to but as a mechanism to protect myself from him and his beautiful bitches. "There must have been a lot of broken hearts after the earth-shattering orgasms huh?" I tried not to think of myself in the pile and clenched my teeth to try and stop the images.

"No." He whispered still not meeting my eyes.

"Then?"

"Imavirgin." He said in between his teeth in one breath as his cheeks went aflame.

"Wait, say that again." I hadn't really understood him, he'd said it too quickly. I took a step closer reflexively in case he answered the same way again. He gave out a resigned sigh and looked at me feverishly, "I'm a virgin." He said so slowly, this time I didn't have to ask to repeat himself again.

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen a _virgin_. No way, no fucking way.

If seeing him blush was like seeing a shark walk on dry land, thinking of him as a virgin was akin to seeing dinosaurs roam the earth again. There was no way in hell Edward was a virgin, no way.

_He must be kidding._

"You're joking." I said humorously getting pissed he was back to his old ways. I'd been naive to think he was over his childhood teasing.

"Nope." His blush was fading but his eyes were still intense, something deep inside wanted to believe that. To believe that no one had enjoyed being with Edward in that way and that there was a possibility of being me to give him that pleasure. I shook my head running away from such dangerous thoughts.

"But you're _Edward!_"

"I know," his voice was dead serious, "but I've never had _penetrative_ sex." I stared at him wide eyes, mouth on the floor. The voice was screaming and jumping up and down thinking of the possibilities.

She was so stupid. _I _was so stupid.

"So what have you done?" Did I really want to know?

Yes, yes I did.

He shrugged nonchalant, looking at the ceiling thoughtfully. "Oral, petting and dry humping now." He looked at me playfully trying to soften the atmosphere. That shit wasn't going to fly.

"With who?"

"Tanya." He threw out sounding repulsed, it still wasn't going to help his case. "Why do you want to know?" The teasing tone was back looking at me with a glint in his eye.

"No reason." I turned around on my heel making sure to step away from the mirror; I didn't need it to give me away.

I'd known Tanya and Edward had done _things_, I'd always known she'd done nothing but throw herself at him ever since she moved from Alaska. It still hurt for some reason to think of them together in that way.

_So what? You saw them in his car two years ago, why are you acting so surprised? Besides he just said he's never had _penetrative _sex before. That's the most important type of sex out there. You should be happy you have a chance._

A chance to sleep with Edward Cullen? No, no way. I wasn't going to be in the same category with Tanya. Craving for Edward to sleep with me. Ha! As if.

_Don't be ridiculous, you and I want him. And might I remind you I am a splinter of you therefore I am you? Isabella Swan wants Edward Cullen, there's no doubt about that._

But-

_Nothing. You are not going to ruin this for me._

"Bella?" He asked bringing me back to the present.

"Shut up Edward." I told him under my breath.

"If you don't look at me," he told me as his voice turned dark, "I'm just going to jack off to you again so make up your mind. Do you want to see me do it or are you going to be difficult?" I gasped. The boy's thirst was not quenched. "I don't give a shit if you do decide to turn around, The fact is that I'm going to do it no matter what you decide." He said so as I heard his head hit his pillow again.

_I'm thirsty too!_

"Did you test yourself for STDs?" I needed to get the responsible questions out of the way before I allowed the burning fire that had ignited itself again in the pit of my stomach.

"Yes." He nodded gravely, "Dad made it a point to test Emmett and I after he found out we were sexually active." His last sentence stung me a little but I didn't wander in it, I moved on.

"When-"

"The last time I was with Tanya was two years ago." He sounded impatient and annoyed, angering me because I had every right to know. I was clean because much like his father, Charlie was overcautious and would have Dr. Cullen run STD tests on me ever since I turned fourteen along with my yearly physicals in case I came into contact with something in the girl's bathroom at school.

No wonder Dr. Cullen did the same for his boys. I didn't know if Dr. Cullen had suggested it to Charlie or if Charlie had given Dr. Cullen the idea.

I didn't really want to know anyway.

Oh and did I mention Charlie had put me on the pill since then too? Because he wanted to make sure I was well taken care of but made me swear to god to not sleep with a guy until he was dead and cold in the ground. I rolled my eyes dramatically but told him what he wanted to hear. At that time I told myself no one would ever want to touch me nor did I want to touch someone.

But how the fuck was I going to now that Edward and I would walk such a convoluted path a year later?

I looked at Edward doubtfully, "what about Hanover?"

"Nothing happened over there," he let out another annoyed sigh, "I focused on my studies the entire time. The times Jasper mentioned talking to girls had happened at _two_ parties a friend of a friend threw. We stayed at home most of the fucking time."

"You don't have to get angry with me jackass." I was royally pissed.

"Bella," He got up giving me a beautiful shot of his naked body, "trust me baby, I would _never _put you in danger. Ever." I looked at his beautiful face taken aback for a moment but soon came back and taking a deep breath I nodded in understanding.

I was going to trust him but that didn't mean I would sleep with him that night. It was still smart to know where a possible sex partner was in the health department, being a policeman's daughter taught me that much. "Is the interrogation over Officer Gorgeous " He winked trying to lighten the mood again. I laughed at his stupidity.

"Yes." I sat on the edge of the bed leaning towards him but not ready to get back on it like before. He leaned towards me, his abs showing off a bit, "I have very important questions myself."

I cocked my eyebrow and chin to the side very surprised, "oh?"

"Yes," he nodded inching himself close to me, "list all the guys that have kissed you." I gave him a dumbfounded look but answered him anyway, "Edward Cullen." His smile was so wide his perfect white teeth shone in the silver light. "Have you _allowed_ anyone else to speak dirty to you?"

"Only you." I didn't understand where he was getting at, of course he knew that he'd been the first boy in my non-existent private life.

He leaned on all fours grinning like the cat that ate the canary and pulled me to him kissing me feverishly. His hands roamed my body for the first time taking me in. All the times he and I had made out his hands had always stayed in my waist of hips but never around my back or up and down my body. This blew me out of the water but I didn't stop him.

After a few minutes of quiet animalistic kisses and groans- we still had to be quiet because of his sleeping family, he and I laid together on the bed. Edward went back to drawing on my skin.

"Do you enjoy pleasuring yourself?" I asked after a few minutes of silence. He threw me a knowing look, edges of his lips beginning to form an impish grin. "I do." He nodded winking again. "Have you ever pleasured yourself?"

"No." I rolled my eyes emphasizing my response.

"Ah." He bit his lips as he smiled widely, "I'll help you." He opened his legs as a form of welcome his erection stiffened a bit more, the definition of sin, "come here."

"Does this mean you'll teach me?" I bit my lip, nerves coming back to me locking me in place.

"Yes but only if you're willing to undress and trust me." The honesty in his voice told me I could, so for once in my life I took a deep breath to prepare myself to take my clothes off in front of another person.

"No penetrative sex."

"No penetrative sex." He nodded seriously still watching me. I took another deep breath and told myself what Dr. Carter had always told me.

_It's ok. So you have a few stretch marks, who cares? So your breasts are bigger than everyone else's, at least they're natural; and who cares if they sagged a little because of your weight loss. You know everyone has cellulite right? Even size zero models have been known to have it._

_People who've been burned, cut and scarred have learned to love their bodies after their accidents, why can't you?_

"You don't have to do this, love." Edward whispered after a moment but I stopped him.

"No," I felt my resolve strengthen- he wasn't pushing me to do anything I didn't want to reinforcing the fact that I could trust him. Hadn't he already earned enough of my trust anyway? He hadn't given us away nor had he ever made fun of anything we'd ever done in the privacy of our game. "It's time for me to face my demons head on, and what better way than with someone I trust?" I heard myself speak but I didn't really have control over my voice, my subconscious was taking over again and this time I didn't fight her.

Edward stared at me, eyes wide and blank.

"What's the matter?" I worried thinking I'd come on too strong, my self-confidence began to break.

Edward looked away as if trying to gather his thoughts and came back to me quickly, "take off your bottoms, nothing else." His voice was dripping with power and seduction. Terror briefly took over but I quenched it, I wasn't going to have that.

"Ok." I said timidly looking down at my blue flannel pajamas and plain white t-shirt. I sighed deeply and hooked my thumbs to the elastic band of the pants. My heartbeat was all I could hear and feel in my chest. I noticed Edward bite into his lip in my peripheral vision but I didn't look up, if I had I would have lost all of my resolve.

_Good thing I shaved today._ I thought stupidly in the back of my head.

I didn't wax _down there_ but I did groom myself as well as shave my legs every time I got in the shower. Not wanting to run into Edward in our communal bathroom I would make sure to shower at Charlie's. Three years later and I still hadn't walked in on him. The fact that he never tried to walk in on me even though he had a key to unlock the doors didn't have me reeling, until that night.

_Wow. He really is a gentleman. Most of the time._

Focusing back on the present I tried to calm myself down before I did anything else. I wanted to make sure I was truly ok and would never regret what I was about to do.

When I found nothing but assurance in myself I prepared myself.

_Here I go._

I slid them down letting them fall as soon as they hit my knees, my heart stopped beating knowing I'd reached a point of no return. "Come here gorgeous." Edward whispered expectantly. I swallowed hard staring at the pants gathering the bravado I'd felt before. I thought about how stupid my white cotton panties might have looked then.

"Don't laugh." I warned through my teeth, shutting my eyes with my head on the ground once again preparing myself for rejection.

"I won't." He promised ardently. Taking another deep breath I took my legs out of the bottoms and slowly climbed on to the bed, Edward didn't move from where he was as if I was some skittish animal in the safari. I tucked my legs behind my butt and forced myself to look up.

My eyes roamed his bare legs up his semi hard penis and the tiny dusting of hair leading downward, the planes of his perfect chest where the cuts of abs were beginning to form- something I'd missed the first time I saw him shirtless in my room. Up his perfect clavicle that formed a sharp shadow from the moonlight outside, that fuck sexy tattoo that I was beginning to be obsessed with and his manly jaw. His bottom lip called out my name but his eyes were what truly took my breath away.

Lust and unquenchable fire swam in the emerald seas but the warmth and... something else knocked the breath out of me.

_It almost looks like reverence._

I swallowed hard not being able to take his powerful gaze anymore and looked at my hands on my thighs.

"No." He said, voice sounding hoarse as if having a hard time speaking. "Don't look down." His hand lightly lifted my chin up to see him again, "not when you're with me." My heart swelled but before I could respond he told me to turn around facing the mirror in front of his bed.

"Why?"

"If I'm going to teach you," his voice sounded strained, "you need to see what I'm doing." I looked behind me to the mirror biting my lip in doubt. "You said you'd trust me." He turned my chin back to me looking at me with some unknown emotion. I looked at him for a moment and nodded. I turned around and tentatively leaned my back into his chest.

I felt him give out a sigh as he slowly wrapped his legs on mine opening me up. He felt me tense up and put his warm hand over my cold one. "Relax." He whispered in my ear making me moan quietly. I felt his erection twitch behind me as I took a deep breath and looked at the mirror; he leaned on his right arm.

There we were. Edward wrapped around me making me lean my head into his chest as his neck twisted to my right, lips next to my ear his breath making me shiver in anticipation. "You have to be quiet baby." He whispered as his hands ghosted my arms, "I want to scream my name like you have _no fucking_ idea but you have to promise to be quiet."

Biting my lip to keep the moan that threatened my throat I nodded dumbly not daring to look at him in the face, his quiet power controlling my every move already. "You can't look away from the mirror, I want you to see everything I do and make mental notes for when you're alone and you want to do this yourself as you think of _me_." He whimpered in the hollow of my ear making me squirm and feeling my juices begin to pool again. Edward looked at our reflection his breath hitching slightly. "Look at you," he said barely below a whisper, "so fucking beautiful."

I was temporarily mute, I couldn't speak.

All I saw was him in perfect composure, unworldly handsome under an imperfect mortal. I wanted to disagree but my voice was still gone.

"When you want to get off," he said letting out another sigh, "think of me licking your ear." He did just that slowly torturing me his left hand roaming my neck. "Do you feel that baby?"

I nodded my eyes glued to his unbelievable beauty in the mirror, "you have the best most delicious neck ever." He whispered licking the base of my jaw downward towards my chin, "but your jaw." He groaned, "fuck." He emphasized, he looked like in pure pain in the mirror but I couldn't move, he had me hypnotized.

"Your hourglass figure," his breath hitched again as his left hand traced my breast on its slow path down my body. "I wanted to punish you for not believing me today."

Punish me?

Oh god.

The voice was on the floor rolling around in ecstasy already.

"You don't know what you do to me baby. Your tits alone," he groaned again, his hand stopped slightly cupping my breast, "you're a double D aren't you?"

I nodded trying to regain consciousness but I was too far gone and enjoying it too much to care what would happen next. "Mmmm... so round and perky." I wanted to laugh at that. Sure- perky. Not when they've sagged a little. Don't get me wrong I did have "a huge rack" as Rose so kindly informed me but I never took off my bra at night even though I'd been told by her that it wasn't healthy. I didn't care, I didn't want them to sag further, I mean I was only sixteen and had to worry about that. No fucking way.

His hand began its journey again as he licked my ear again blowing his cool breath where he licked making goosebumps erupt all over my body making me sigh. "You're going to remember this as if I was doing it right then and there. Hearing me in your ear, whispering how much I fucking love your body."

I squirmed around him, he held me tighter to try and control me, "if you don't stop squirming I might forget our arrangement baby. I don't want to forget how to be a gentleman please." He whispered darkly.

Oh. Fuck. Me.

Please.

"As I was saying," his lips found purchase between my throat and shoulder, "you'll remember all of these sensations when you're by yourself." He bit lightly as he spoke sending me on a fucking whirlwind. "You're going to wish I was with you as you touch yourself thinking of all of these new and addicting sensations." He whispered his voice laced with arrogance. For once in my life I didn't want to punch him in the face for it.

If I did would ruin the mood right?

"You trust me right baby?" He wanted me answer so I swallowed feeling my throat close up. "Yes." It came out thickly as if I hadn't spoken for a long period of time.

"Say it."**  
**

What did he want me to say? Fuck.

"Tell me you trust me." He clarified sensing my question.

"I trust you."

"Again." He ordered gripping me roughly.

"I trust you."

"Again."

"I trust you."

"You what?" He was playing now, I giggled at his dumb joke.

"I trust you."

"Otra vez." He whispered in Spanish, bringing my deciphering full circle. I couldn't help but laugh, he followed suit but I knew he expected it.

"I trust you."

"One more time." Laughter all over his voice, he sounded like a giddy little boy hiked up on sugar and going through the motions of a sugar high.

"Edward." I groaned a little annoyed at his sudden obsession with hearing me say I trusted him. I didn't understand it.

"I mean it baby. One. More. Time." The darkness of his voice came back.

I sighed rolling my eyes, "I. Trust. You." I turned my neck to him wanting him to see I meant it, the desire I felt to punch him came back and I would have if he'd asked me again.

He looked at me searching for something and suddenly smiled widely again. "Turn around and don't look at me again, just the mirror." He was back to his dark self, "I think I've teased you enough."

I scoffed thinking of both the bad teasing and the good teasing, "no no no baby. No more talking." I swallowed as his hand reached dangerous territory. "You're going to enjoy this more than before," he sounded excited and just as I thought that I felt his erection grow impossibly more. Little Edward was fighting against my lower back but I wasn't complaining, if anything it made it more exciting.

"The feeling is going to be especially intense," I got nervous again, "you need to let the wave take you ok? Just enjoy it." He warned me soothingly. I swallowed hard, "if you get loud I'm going to have to quiet you." He told me gently. I wanted to ask him how he would do that but I knew better than to ask him.

"Lean into me baby." He told me and I automatically did it, he scooted backwards onto the headrest but I could still make us out perfectly in the mirror. "Enjoy the show gorgeous." He whispered as one would do if speaking about a movie.

I glued my eyes to the mirror, my heart stopping and running away from me, I held my breath as he kissed my cheek placing his chin on my shoulder. His eyes were dancing again as he took us in. His hand cupped the apex of my thighs sending me in yet another whirlwind of intense pleasure. One could surely not yet used to this right?

"White panties for the innocent girl." He mused as his hand started rubbing me. A particular point in my body made me want to thrash, the pleasure was emitting from there. "You want to rub yourself over your panties before anything else baby." He spoke to me as a teacher would a class. "The sensation of the cloth will help you feel different and help you moisturize."

Moisturize?

"Your pussy," he whispered hungrily making me gasp, "needs to be wet at all times," the pain was back in his voice. "You're already wet enough," he groaned, "but remember you won't be as wet as you are with me." He gripped my body as he said the last part I threw my head further back forcing him on to the headboard.

He groaned, "so responsive... I love it. I also love the fact that you're rough in the bedroom."

Oh fuck.

"All in due time though..." he lead off thickly. "When you've had enough start to dip your fingers inside." He said breathlessly as he lifted himself off his arm and pushed my panties down. I was too far gone to feel self-conscious. "You're so sedated and I haven't even done _anything_ yet." He chuckled.

"Mmm..." That came out but I really wanted to say, "fuck you, you jerk."

"Let's get you out of those panties." He growled as pushed them further down grazing my ass with his thumbs. "Mmmmm... perfect ass just as round and perky as your breasts." He was breathless just like me. "Kick them off baby." He told me and I did but not before wishing he would let me go back to his comfortable chest.

"Mmmm look at that." He said lasciviously. "Come back to me." He said leaning back into the headboard, I did as he said forgetting that I was totally nude from the waist down. "Open your legs baby."

I did as he wrapped his legs over mine he went back to his right arm putting his chin on my shoulder again. "When you're in this stage of pleasuring yourself you need to know what you like." His hand inched to my core, "do you want it soft... hard... slow... fast..." His hips thrust into my backside with each word. "I'm going to do all four and to see what you like baby." He was excited and impatient but then again so was I.

"So these are your labia," He touched my lower lips, I already knew this from health class but I wasn't going to stop him. Who the hell was I to interrupt a teacher in the middle of their lecture? Being the nerd that I was I would never do something so blasphemous.

"So warm." He whispered to himself as his fingers touched me there, I shook from the new sensations just like he'd warned me but I tried to calm down. "That's right baby, relax." He opened me up slowly, my juices glistening in the dim moonlight. "So wet." He dipped his finger barely touching me but still throwing me into an ocean of ecstasy. "Not yet baby." He held me with his right hand leaning downward. When he righted himself he told me to watch him.

He dipped again breathing hard into my ear, his dick pushing harder into my back, "I've always wanted to know how you taste." He showed me his now glistening fingers and told me to continue watching him in the mirror. I was glued to the mirror, my mouth opened and watching him inch his finger towards his mouth. When he did, he went backward closing his eyes and humming appreciatively.

His erecting pressed even fucking further making me wonder if it would indent my back. If it did I would kill Edward. "So delicious." He gasped pulling his thumb out and popping his lips together. He opened his eyes slowly, taking a moment to relax himself. He opened his eyes and smiled at my reflection. "I think I've teased you enough."

No shit Einstein.

I said nothing and waited for him to come back to me. "Let's go slowly." He wrapped his hand around me his hand reaching my wet center. "This little gem," he touched the pulsing, "is your clitoris, otherwise known as the clit," he started rubbing softly. I groaned deeply closing my eyes as my hips moved with his fingers. "That's right but don't close your eyes." He ordered.

"Uuggnngh." I said in response.

"I know, I know." There was laughter in his voice, "you like soft," he sounded as if he too was taking notes. "Let's do hard." He thrust his hips on to me as he pressed his fingers down. I let out a growl not being able to stop it as I thrashed around him. "Shhhhhh..." He said gripping my arm trying to control my movements.

My heart beat against my rib cage wildly, by breath was shallow and my lower body felt as if it was half way _there_. It was so frustrating!

"You like hard." Edward nodded once I opened my eyes and went back to the mirror.

"Ughhh..." I groaned trying to string a sentence together but failing miserably. "Yes I know." He said as if reading my mind and understanding me perfectly. "I know you want more, trust me baby it is taking_ everything_ in me not to give it to you but there's still more research to be done."

He went back to my clit, "let's do slow now." He went back to my core and rubbed slowly. "Look at the mirror, look at us gorgeous." I did and he was right, he did look gorgeous. His face was flush, his eyes were still excited and his lips were plump and swollen again. His beautiful body wrapped around my ugly one.

So unfair to him.

I tried pulling away but he grasped me, "where are you going?" He sounded angry, "we're not done yet beautiful." He traced his fingers down my arm automatically relaxing me.

Ugh, he was too much.

"For that I'm going to have to punish you," he said growling... oh uh... "open your legs."

I did as he asked me and he didn't wait for me to relax into him, he just went to town rubbing my clit feverishly, "let's see if you like it fast shall we?" He said between his teeth working hard on my nub of nerves. I lost control of my body as I began to feel the explosion of sensations all focused on one area of my body, Edward's long fingers extracting me like a fruit.

"Oh god!" I screamed out loud throwing my body into his as he grunted hitting the headboard.

"Too loud." He grunted again pushing himself off onto me. His fingers let me go briefly but went back to me as soon as his body covered mine. His lips attached themselves to me as worked on my lower half.

"Oh fuck!" I screamed into his mouth as he pressed himself further, the wave was dragging me around mentally taking me every-fucking-where and his fingers did. not. stop.

"Almost there." He said between kisses and he was right.

I let out a high pitched scream which he covered his mouth as I literally erupted onto his hand, feeling like my body was shattering into a million pieces. The wave had me in its grasp not wanting me to let go.

"Breathe Bella." He told me as he kissed my jaw, wasn't I breathing? I felt my lungs rise and fall feeling as if I was suffocating in the invisible waters not having enough air in them. I needed air, more air but the ocean wouldn't let me go.

After a moment I felt my body stop convulsing around him as my breath came out through my mouth still hard and shallow. My heart beat was so fast I thought I really was going to have a heart attack. My legs and arms felt weak and loose and my mind continued swimming in the now calm waters of my mental ride.

"Fucking beautiful." Edward whispered as he kissed my cheek, my lips and then my forehead. He gave me a minute while he hummed under his breath drawing circles in my skin again. After I was able to make a coherent thought I tried speaking, my voice coming out jagged and rough, "wow."

"I know." He smirked knowingly kissing my hand that was lying on top of my heart. "And you came too."

"What does that mean?" I asked between gasps. Edward laughed and dug his face into the crook of my neck, "we are going to have _so_ much fun together baby. You have _no_ idea."

* * *

**Ok wow, that seriously took me all fucking day to write. I thought it would be shorter and quicker but Bella wanted to look at every single detail hahaha.**

**Bella might sound way too naïve but in my mind she's lead a very sheltered life; that and I love seeing Edward as a teacher ;D**


	13. I'll Meet You There

**Wow, just wow. Your reviews are abso-fucking-lutely amazing. I mean wow, seriously, thank you.**

**I'd already admitted to some of you that _Skin_ was my first ever lemon, I'm a little nervous about the big V-card exchange just as much as E/B but I'm not as anxious as I was before. I seriously pray I meet your expectations hahaha. _Fuck._**

**Anyway, I'm sorry for taking this long to update, RL has been crazy and I was having difficulties with the aftermath of _Skin_. I think I figured it out and here it is :D**

* * *

Owl City- _I'll Meet You There_

* * *

_2002 (cont.)_

**EPOV**

_I need a fucking cigarette._ I thought ruefully as I breathed the addicting fragrance that emitted from Bella's hair.

I'd waited for Bella to fall asleep in _my_ arms, in _my_bed, in _my_ room before returning to the guest house. I kissed Bella's cheek before untangling myself from her hating myself for leaving; but I had to if I didn't want to run the risk of someone walking in to my room after finding the unslept bed in the guest house. My erection grazed her now-clothed round ass making me hiss from the throbbing.

I clenched my teeth trying to calm myself down and not cum right then and there. It would freak her out and I didn't need that. I needed to relax and calm my desires otherwise she would run for the hills. Our new landscape was still unbalanced and the slightest mistake could cost my chances in achieving my goal in having her fall for me.

I set the alarm to 5:30 am just so she could sneak in to her room in case someone walked into hers to find her in mine consequently raising unneeded questions.

I wanted our arrangement to be over and able to kiss her front of everyone, to hold her hand in public and drape my arm over her shoulder in front of jackasses like Jacob Black.

But she wasn't ready, she still didn't know where I stood in her life, I could sense her walls begin to crumble around me though. Today had been a long day but the ground had shifted beyond what I'd imagined when I woke up this morning. I kissed her neck as she sighed, still smiling and content from her string of orgasms. _That I'd given her_**.**

I moved away from her sleeping figure quickly when the images of her beautiful face clutched on to the orgasms, the way she bit her lip to kill her groaning, her cheeks inking with pink, her chest falling and rising making me wonder what her tits look like naked. The memory of her body on top of mine, naked from the waist down as I touched and pleasured her invaded my mind taking me back to half an hour ago.

She was so warm, so willing and _so fucking_ wet for me shook me to my core. The monster inside of me roared proudly.

She wanted _me_.

I wanted to jack off to her in that moment but I wouldn't do that. It felt sick and perverse so I crept into the bathroom and washed myself down with warm water as I relived the memories going off on to the blue and white tile that reminded me of her bedroom; the warm water washed down my jizz.

"Fuck." I groaned when my dick was soft again, I allowed the water to relax my muscles feeling some of them pop as the water released some knots.

I looked out of the small bathroom window Mom had added for ventilation and opened it. The cool wet air came in sending glorious chills down my warm wet body. I took a deep breath and leaned on the glass shower doors.

I don't know how long I stood there but I eventually got myself out, dried off and changed into clean pajamas carefully picking up my discarded pajama bottoms remembering I'd gone commando after I changed in the guest house.

I found Bella's but instead of laying them on top of her folded pajama bottoms the perverse side of me wasn't so willing to let go. I crunched them in my hands taking them to my nose and breathing deeply taking in as much of her earthy fragrance as possible.

My eyes rolled back in my sockets as my neck bent backward, my mouth watered automatically as I moaned in pain. It was more addicting than her hair.

The want I felt for her was so intense I don't know how I'd forgotten all the respect I felt for her and just claimed her over and over again.

But the respect and need I felt for her to trust me and want to be with me had won out and I was now thankful.

_No. If we were to take that step she would have to ask me_**.** I'd done enough deciding for the both of us already. If she wanted to take things further it would come from her and only when she was one hundred percent sure.

I looked back to her as she curled into my side of the bed, the window was open and letting in the moonlight making her white skin shine in an ethereal silver. I thought about a nymph sleeping by the water just like I'd imagined her as when we'd gone to the waterfall and she'd played in the edge of the rippling pond.

It was going to be hell going back to New Hampshire after New Year's.

* * *

_2003._

"Did you finish your presentation for your microbiology class?" Jasper asked me as he came in through the door putting his messenger bag down as soon as he reached our couch. I was laying on my recliner, feet over the arm reading _The New England Journal of Medicine_**.** Light reading in my opinion, before starting on my Human Anatomy paper that was due in three days.

I finished my cigarette and stubbed the filter in my ashtray. The irony was not lost to me.

"Yeah an hour ago." I had a five hour afternoon gap between classes on Tuesdays and took advantage of it by finishing up homework and/or relaxing. "Did you finish phase two of your FYP?"

The First Year Project at Teck was a required and extremely important project first years went through. It was a sort of assimilated internship. Jasper was teamed up with four other students and given an assignment for a real business and had to do a realistic start-up plan and/or fiscal projections on their given business. The rest of the student's environment at Teck/Dartmouth would depend on how well he and his group did on their FYP.

_No pressure._

"Yeah I'm doing fine." He sighed heavily lying down on the couch; he put his arm over his forehead. "Maria is doing a bad job though. She hasn't contacted Professor Rooney and Mr. Blanc to set up a status follow up- which we need to schedule before the first of next month."

I winced, we were in the last week of March and they only had three days to do so.

Professor Rooney was Jasper's assigned advisor and Robert Blanc was the owner and CEO of the small private yacht company he'd been assigned for the project.

"She's the bad one of the group man." I said dropping the journal on my coffee table, "Jason, Bree and Elizabeth seem to pulling their weight but you're always complaining about Maria." I noted.

"Yeah," he sighed again still behind his arm, "she's a piece of work, she won't do anything unless Rooney orders her to do so- Jason even closed the door in her face when she went to his dorm and asked to see his projections so she could start on her own projections- that were due the next day."

"No fucking way. I thought she was in charge of keeping everyone on track and supervising your work before handing your findings to Rooney."

"She's a lazy bitch." The phone rang, he and I both looked at it at the same time. "Could you get it? I'm in no mood to talk to my mom." He groaned getting up. "She probably wants to complain about David's brand new fuck and how he's showering her with expensive gifts instead of giving _her _more money for _her _new fuck."

"Sure man." I internally groaned, Jasper's mom Paula came on to me every chance she got.

Jasper walked to his room closing his door with a snap. I looked to the phone that was sitting in the side table next to me with dread but thinking of a bandaid I picked up the phone. "Edward Cullen?"

"Baby!" I was relieved when I realized it was _my _mom and not his. I sat up in my recliner thinking she wouldn't approve of how I'd been sitting before her call. She might have been three thousand miles away but she still scared the shit out of me.

"Hey Mom." I chuckled more out of relief than anything.

"How are your classes?" She asked sounding very interested. She made it a point to call me every week and check up on my comings and goings.

"They're fine. I just finished a huge presentation for my microbiology class and was about to start on my Human Anatomy class' essay on the change in the human body because of pesticides compared to the pre-1950s."

"Sounds so medical sweetheart." She said proudly. I rolled my eyes, "I know Mom."

"I have news," she burst at the seams, "Alice has decided to pursue a career in fashion," no surprise there but I was still happy the pixie had decided on something, "and she's planning to apply to Parsons!"

"In New York?" I gasped. I didn't know if it would be a good thing or bad if Alice got accepted a fashion college so close from me. "Yes, if she gets accepted you two will be a drive away!"

"Mom we would be five hours away from each other."

"That's still closer than being on opposite sides of the continental U.S.!" She huffed obviously not happy that I wasn't as excited as she.

"What is Alice doing to prepare?" I bit my lip trying to fathom if I was worried or anxious for her to get into her dream school.

"She's buckled down and started raising her grades to As and Bs- she's catching up to Bella's 3.5- and Bella's trying to raise hers further. I'm so happy my girls are so studious."

My heart skipped a beat at the mention of Bella's name.

I hadn't spoken to her since I came back in January because my schoolwork had kept me away from even thinking about anything other than the CDC, possible pandemics and healthcare. My heart panged feeling the familiar pain of feeling her so far from me both physically and emotionally.

"That's great Mom, I'm proud of both of them." I said weakly.

"I know sweetie, oh by the way Bella got a job at Newton's Outfitters!" My eyebrow quirked at this piece of information.

"Oh?"

"Yes, she's saving to get a car. She and Alice are also studying to get their license. Everything is going by so quickly!"

"That's great Mom." I made plans to put time aside that night to call Bella. I was jealous that I didn't know what was going in her life and would wait for her to tell me herself.

"I think she misses you, you know." She added on the side. I blanched feeling absolute terror that my mother had caught on to us and felt a weird elation at the idea or someone finding us out and forcing her to come clean.

"What?" I croaked hiding it behind a fake cough.

"She's been a little down since January," _was it me or did she sound almost conspiratorial_? "right after you left actually." She said the last part with a hint of teasing. "Isn't that interesting sweetie?"

"Um." I raked my brain not knowing what to fucking say, but knowing Bella would never forgive my traitorous thoughts I denied it. "She must miss arguing with the wittiest person in Forks, Mom." I tried sounding arrogant but I could tell she wouldn't fall for it. Not anymore.

"Sure sweetie, if that's what you think I'm sure you're right." She mused; her voice was thick with fake sugar. "She was so _exuberant _after Christmas, I'd never seen her that content. You two have such a love-hate relationship; I wish you two would just get along." The thickness in her voice became more prominent.

_Ok this is too weird._

I tried laughing to ease my nerves but it just came out as a deranged bark, "the world would stop spinning on its axis if that happened Mom." _I love you, Mom you have no idea. _"Bella and I are meant to bite each other's heads off." My fake smile sauntered.

She sighed. "It's just that… you two would be better off as… friends." There was no mistaking her editing but I wasn't ready to admit anything to her. Not until I spoke to Bella.

"Not in the cards Mom." I sounded detached and uninterested not against what I was truly feeling. "I need to get back to work; I need to write that paper." I faked some more cheerfulness.

"Ok sweetie you go on and do that." She was back to being her normal self, "I'll call you later."

"Ok bye Mom." I was relieved this odd conversation was coming to an end, "I love you."

"Me too darling, so much. Take care."

I hung the phone and stared at it for a long minute. I leaned back into the chair and closed my eyes trying to make out what I'd been feeling during the call. This was too confusing for me. "Jasper?" I called knowing he would want to know if it had been his mother.

"Yeah?" He asked popping his head out, "was it her?"

"No it was _my_ mom," he sighed stepping out, grinning. "I love your mom." He came back to the living room and sat down in his old seat. "How's everyone?"

"Great, Alice wants to apply to Parsons in the city."

"Seriously?" He grinned easily, "that's great!"

"Sure," I rolled my eyes. He had enjoyed his stay at my house during Christmas to the point that he wanted to do it every year. "hey," we were going off on a different tangent and I didn't want to lose my train of thought, "do we have any scotch left?"

He looked at me curiously, "yeah we're almost dry though. What's up? You don't drink before five." He looked at his watch, I knew it was sometime after three. "I know but I got a craving for it."

"In the pantry." He pointed behind him towards the kitchen with his thumb. "Want to talk about it?"

"Nope." I got up from the chair and went to where we kept the alcohol.

"You sure?" He asked me from his seat trying to gauge my mood.

"Yup." I took out the bottle, took out a shot glass even though that's not how I usually drank scotch but I wasn't being picky. I drank it enjoying the burning in my throat. I put away the remnants noting that indeed we were almost out and went back to my seat.

Jasper looked at me curiously but didn't ask, he would wait for me to say something. I glared at him not appreciating being looked at like a science experiment. After a moment Jasper let out a resigned sigh and excused himself to his next class. "I'll see you at Dartmouth."

"Yeah sure." I turned the chair to look out into the wide glass windows overlooking pleasant Hanover. It was snowing lightly. Jasper left leaving me to brood in my own funk.

I was thankful.

~.~.~.

I managed to write nine pages out of the assigned fifteen after I buckled down in two hours. I also made it just in time for my five o'clock class and took enough notes to fill half a standard notebook.

I met up with Jasper at a local coffee shop we frequented, relaxed for a bit and headed home. He didn't ask me about earlier and once again I was thankful I'd met such an understanding guy.

"I need a fucking girlfriend." He whined as we left the shop. Two girls that were making themselves in looked at us and giggled. Jasper grinned sheepishly as he began to blush.

"Way cool dude." I rolled my eyes going towards the parking lot. It was night out and the snow had made everything slippery and wet so I took extra caution in walking slowly. I didn't need to break a leg any time soon.

The thought of slipping and falling made me think of Bella, she was always getting into some kind of trouble. One time she tripped on bare feet trying to get from her room to the bathroom. I'd tried to not laugh at her but it had been too funny. She was so proud she didn't speak to me for a week, but then again that was before our arrangement. I smiled at the memory.

"Oh shut up, at least you have someone to talk to." He answered petulantly as we stopped in front of my Volvo, his new Japan-imported Lexus XV30 was somewhere to our left. A present from a guilty absentee father.

"What do you mean?" I shifted in my feet; the chill of the night was not as cold as the chill that ran down my spine, the snow crunched under my weight giving me away even more so.

He scoffed rolling his eyes, "whatever dude, like you don't know what I mean."

"I don't." I unlocked my car wanting to leave as quickly as possible.

"I'm not beating around the bush anymore Edward. You and Bella have a _thing_; don't deny it!" He pointed at me as I was about to deny it, reading my mind and cutting me off. "The night after Christmas you went out and didn't come back to the guest house until almost four in the morning!"

I took a step back, my eyes widening. "And isn't it funny how she was _so _bright in the morning?" _Fuck._ "Don't think I didn't notice the looks you were sending each other all fucking day; all smug and shit." He wanted to laugh, "I could feel the sexual tension like there was no fucking tomorrow."

"I have no-"

"Whatever man, like I said, I'm not going to beat around the bush anymore. I saw what I saw and if you're not ready to voice it that's cool." He turned on his heel towards his car. "I'll see you at home." He laughed robustly over his shoulder as he sauntered to his car.

_Fucking perceptive son of a bitch._

I drove home especially slow, not wanting to get home quickly because of Jasper's ambush at the coffee shop. The day had been a very confusing one, as if he and Mom had woken up and had put all of the fucking pieces together.

That or they had a summit and chose that day to confront me about Bella and I.

I got home twenty minutes later, taking twice as long to get from campus to my apartment. Jasper was home eating a light dinner consisting of ramen noodles, orange juice and a bag of original Lays.

The dinner of Champions.

"Why didn't you order takeout?"

"Too lazy." He groaned looking at his ramen, "could you do it?"

"Sure, what are you craving?" I noticed he went back to being his laidback self but I didn't trust him, not yet anyway. I was waiting for him to pounce again.

"Mongolian." He answered slowly as if thinking about all of the different kinds of takeout Hanover had to offer, "yeah Mongolian." He said more confidently and looked at me grinning.

I rolled my eyes again, this kid made me feel like I was taking care of a child sometimes, "Sure, the usual?"

"Yeah." He laughed knowing what I was thinking.

"Ok." I nodded taking the phone and calling the local Mongolian fast food joint five blocks away. The take out was delivered fifteen minutes later and we ate in our couch not bothering with the small dinner table Mom had chosen when she decorated my apartment before I moved in. We turned on the TV to see the new episode of _Friends._

Jasper and I had a mutual agreement to watch since we'd grown up with the show but was not "cool" anymore.

Fuck that shit. I wanted Jennifer Aniston as my girlfriend even though she had a baby with David Schwimmer's annoying character; I looked up to Joey even though I wasn't as crass with women as he was.

Yeah I was too into it, I admit it.

After clearing up and rinsing our dishes we called it a night. We weren't into sleeping late, our schoolwork was too heavy to have nights out.

"I got it." Jasper told me as I started to put our dishes away. "Don't worry about."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, you've had a heavier day than I, besides they're just dishes." He smirked taking the bowls we'd washed and started stacking them over one of the cupboards.

"That or you're just guilty." I'd decided to call him out on his ambush.

"I'm sorry man it's just that I can't believe you're still denying it." I sighed heavily wishing I hadn't said anything. "Don't stress it. I was an ass, I'm sorry."

"No Jazz," I shook my head, "that's not it- I just don't know where we stand that's why."

"Where do _you _stand?"

"I want to try something concrete with her. I've always had a thing for her- ever since we were kids." I'd never been so open with someone about my feelings for Bella, it was both unnerving and exhilarating to finally voice my feelings. "I teased the shit out of her when we were kids because I didn't know how to express those feelings. I didn't realize I was attracted to her, I mean I was a kid what was I supposed to know?" I didn't wait for Jasper to speak, the words were coming out in a flood as if a dam had burst and there was no way of stopping the water.

"I was jealous of Emmett because she ran to him smiling and happy whilst with me she ran away screaming and crying." I laughed mirthlessly. "And then when I opened the door to sexual feelings she was there. Her body called out to me," I spun around remembering the new feelings I'd felt for Bella when I would see her take her hoodies off at home from school. "People called her fat-_ I_ did it once," I groaned, "but I didn't mean it. I was angry at the weird feelings and reactions she was causing in me to truly know how to express myself. I didn't see the negative side of her body, if anything those curves," I groaned again running my hand through my hair but not stopping, "she was everything everyone else wasn't. Tanya was all over me, her thin figure didn't turn me on the way Bella's curves did."

"Edward-"

"I mean I eventually let Tanya give me a few blow jobs and yeah I ate her out a couple times," I winced feeling dirty and ashamed, "but it wasn't the same thing." I turned back to Jasper, wild and passionate, "I'm not waiting for her in the sexual way, but if she were to be my first I would jump at the chance." Ignoring the fact that I just admitted to my best friend that I was a virgin, I finished my confession speaking to myself more than Jasper, "I just wish she feels the same way." I said slowly. The doubts and insecurities of not having Bella in my grasp hit me again making me want to run to Forks. _Just because we do _things_ doesn't mean she's mine._

"Woah." Jasper gasped eyes wide open and mouth agape. I looked away embarrassed, "I know." I nodded running my hand through my hair in frustration.

"I wish I had that." I stared at him in shock, "I mean," he added quickly, "I wish I had such intense feelings for someone but I don't know about the slow burn." I sighed heavily. "So… on the twenty sixth..."

"We... made out." I bit my lip thinking back to that night, "that's all we ever do. I stole her first kiss," I could feel the snug tone in my voice, "I stole a few more afterward and then she started coming on to me." I felt a fiery chill run down my spine at the memories of the time she had kissed me. _Her soft lips caressing mine, her teeth biting and nibbling as my heartbeat went haywire and my dick began to get hard_.

"Where does she stand on all of this?"

"I don't know," I shut my eyes feeling the familiar pain in my chest, "she sees it as a game."

"Ouch." He winced looking at me with pity. I let myself drop on the floor between the kitchen and the living room. I stared at the exposed pipes that snaked through the building- my apartment was in a converted commercial building. The space under the apartment was meant for a business but no one had purchased it yet. Part of me didn't want it to.

"I don't know what to do." I felt another confession coming, "I mean I want to try something with Bella but she's so... afraid of me. She trusts me enough to play this weird game but I doubt she'd ever trust me enough to allow us to be together."

"Because of what you did to her growing up." He said this as a statement, cool and detached.

"Yes exactly, I want her in more ways than one but I don't want to lose her; even if it means acting as if I only see our kisses as part of a game." My fingers ghosted my lips feeling her lips on them, fresh and vibrant.

"Maybe you should give her a test."

"What do you mean?" I sat up not understanding him.

"Think about it," he shrugged noncommittally, "what better way than to see where she stands without having to ask her straight out." I thought about his words, if I could give her little cues I could gauge her reaction. I could see if she felt just as jealous as I did with idiots like Jacob. My lips spread out in a wide grin, it was so big my cheek muscles hurt.

"Damn you look crazy, man." Jasper grinned.

"You're right." I nodded getting up and feeling energized. I was about to laugh when Jasper's face fell in an incredulous expression, "what?"

"You-you're a virgin?" He gasped. _Oh fuck, so that didn't escape his notice._

"Yeah." I bit my lip feeling the warm blood pool in my cheeks.

"Holy fuck." He whispered, still trying to my verbal onslaught. I waited to hear the jabs when I felt him tackle me to the floor, "oof!"

"Wow!" He pinned me to the floor, "I have something over you!"

"Ouch, you bitch!" I tried fighting him off but he had me in a tight grip.

"I can't- no I _won't_ get over this!"

"Get off you fucking idiot!" The phone rang and was almost drowned out by our exchange. "I'll get it!" Jasper exclaimed jumping suddenly and answering, "hello?" I got up wanting to break his neck. _Fucking blowhard I swear._ "Oh!" He yelled looking at me in total shock.

"What?" I went to him, afraid it was bad news.

"Hey..." He moved away from me, grinning as if he held the key to the world's gold. "How's it going?"

"Who is it Jasper?"

He shook his head as if to say it wasn't important, "oh fine just fine." His eyes darted to me, his grin becoming more and more conceited. "Oh Edward?" He bit his lip trying to stop himself from laughing, I went to grab the receiver but he dodged me. "Motherfucker."

"He's here; we just finished dinner... uh huh. I'm surprised you called." I fumed wanting to rip his arm off, who the fuck could it be? "Just us no one else. Nuh uh."

"Who the fuck is it?"

"Know what? I'm going to hand him the phone now. Maybe you can cool him down," he winked at me, "it was nice talking to you again, night _Beeelllaaaa._" My mouth dropped to the floor as my heart ran away with me. He handed me the receiver, his shit-eating grin as big as ever. "Speak of the devil and doth shall appear."

"Fuck you bitch." I whispered swiping the phone from him, "any louder?" I held the receiver to my chest hoping she didn't hear that.

"Take the call in your room man." He winked walking to his room, "I would."

"Fuck you." I waited for him to leave before putting the receiver to my ear. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves I finally took the call. "Hello?"

"Edward?" Her sweet voice sounded breathless and hopeful. My heart stopped.

"Bella?"

"Yeah." I felt my heart pick up its beat again, feeling my pulse against my wrists. "Do you mind that I called you?"

"No." I answered quickly hoping she wouldn't hang up at my slow response. I could hear her but my brain hadn't caught on quickly, "no I don't mind."

"Are you sure?" Her voice dropped just like it did when she was unsure of herself. I didn't know if it was because of how one's voice changed over the phone, because my feelings surfaced or because I missed her so fucking much that I felt my cock twitch, awakening.

"Yeah baby of course." I wanted to reach into the phone and hug her for both calling me and wanting her to feel assured.

"I stole your phone number." She rushed out guiltily, "I heard Esme called you today and when I was reading in the living room I noticed her black phonebook next to the phone. It was opened to your number and I jotted it down before I realized what I was doing."

I was speechless, truly speechless. That and my heart swelled up more than it had before, "I wanted to talk to you Edward." Everything was rushing out, "I miss... sparring with you." The last part was obviously edited but I didn't care. She missed something having to do with me.

"I miss sparring with you too babe." Jasper had been right; I needed to talk to her in private. "Baby I'm going to put you on hold while I go to my room. I don't want him overhearing our conversation." I knew Jasper wouldn't try to, he didn't need to and he was too well-mannered to do so. Besides he already knew everything- there was no point to his eavesdropping.

"Oh ok." I could hear the dread in her voice. I pressed the hold button on the phone and ran to my room. I closed the door behind me turning on the stereo and lowering the music in case Jasper went to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I looked at the clock. It was past ten, I quickly thanked myself for scheduling afternoon classes on Wednesdays.

"Baby?" I sounded out of breath as I picked up the call, thinking she'd hung up in the five seconds since putting her on hold.

"Yeah?" Her voice was shaken and fucking sexy. I internally groaned as I felt my cock twitch again.

"So what's up gorgeous?" _Besides me._

"Nothing much," she sounded nervous, "just here in boring old Forks."

I chuckled knowing exactly what she was feeling, "I heard you're studying a lot."

"Yeah, Alice and I have done nothing _but_ study. I want to raise my B average to As."

"That's great baby." I nodded grinning at her studious behavior, "have you decided what school you want to apply to next year?"

"Um... there are three at the moment."

"Oh?" I could feel her editing again, "did you decide what career you want?"

"How's Dartmouth?" _Was she changing the subject?_

"It's fine, difficult as ever but I love it." I would give her a minute and then come back to the question; I hated it when she hid things from me.

"That's great." She sighed. "So..."

"So...?" Her voice was full of... something. _What exactly though..._

"I've been practicing..."

Practicing? What did she-_ oh my fucking god._

"Really?" My voice cracked as I dug into my bed closing my eyes trying to kill my thirst. "Yeah." Her voice was breathless again. "It's not the same though."

"Oh?" _Fuck_, she was going to kill me.

"It's not as... satisfying..."

"Do tell baby." I cupped my cock through my denim jeans, feeling an intense want, already hard and complaining. "Maybe if you explain step by step I can determine what you're doing... _wrong_ and we can work together to fix the issue..."

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**Before you yell at me for cutting it there, this chapter was meant expose Edward to Jasper ;)**


	14. Lovegame

**As you noticed in your alerts/summary, I've changed the title to _You Drive Me Wild_. I was a little hesitant at first even though I'd thought about it but I decided that _I Should Have Kissed You_ applied more to young Edward and not teenage/adult Edward. That and I wanted a title that involved both Edward and Bella :D**

**To say that this chapter has given me unbelievable grief would be an understatement, but I think I've got it. (The preface to the call has got to me one of my favorite moments of the story so far).**

**Thank you to veraleeon for keeping up with my crazy musings and keeping me from getting ahead before it was time, you are amazing. And thank you Babe Pryor for your comments :)**

**P.S. Long chapter ahead, and I didn't have time to edit this chapter so please ignore any mistakes :)**

* * *

Lady Gaga-_ Lovegame_

* * *

**BPOV**

_2003._

"Yeah...?" His voice was raspy and dark. I tried to keep my breathing at a normal rate but I couldn't control it. It was too much. "Say it again babe." He requested, his voice breaking again.

"I want more." I whispered feeling the cold chill of the open window tightening my bare chest.

In an act of absolute desire I'd stolen Edward's phone number from his mother's book. Esme had commented on speaking to him earlier in the morning and telling us about how well he was getting along at Dartmouth. I had been too embarrassed and terrified to ask for his number before, in fear of raising suspicion. So when I saw it there in the little book, his name written in perfect cursive, I had to have it.

I ran home as quickly as possible after making up some lie to Alice and Esme and called him from my line knowing Charlie wouldn't be home until eleven.

It was seven in the evening so it gave me five hours of Edward all too myself- considering the long-distance charges of course. _Fucking A, I finally get some alone time with Edward and I have to worry about something so dumb._

In a second act of absolute desire I had stripped down before calling him, wanting to get off to his voice. I felt like a wonton hussy but I missed him and his cocky demeanor. _And his hands, don't let's not forget his hands. Or his lips… neck… jaw… oh fuck I'm drenched again._

His breathing hitched, "'more' you say?" he whispered into my ear, I remembered the way he had done so in his room on the twenty-sixth, the memories made me moan. My hand ghosted down to my very tender nub. We had already "gone over" my notes twice and I was very tender.

"Yes." I whispered as a way to try and control my moaning as my hands began to work my clit.

"Bella," his voiced changed to a warning tone, "you're breathing just picked up; are you touching yourself again?"

Fuck, he was good.

"Um…" I let out the huge breath I'd been holding in.

"No fair baby, you're supposed wait for me to guide you. You play _very_ dirty." He groaned as his breathing picked up towards the end.

"I thought you wanted to 'dirty me up'" I bit my lip throwing back the words he had once told me, feeling like it had been decades.

"Unngh." He groaned into the phone, "you are going… to…" His voice broke because I knew he was pumping his _huge…thick.._ cock. _Mmmmm yum._ My mouth watered remembering new and exciting sexual acts that I wanted to try with Edward.

Emmett had stayed with his parents' for a few months since Christmas while he looked for an apartment in Seattle. When he had found something suitable -a loft near the Olympic Structure Park and waterfront he cleaned out his childhood room to see what he wanted to take with him. He'd asked me and Alice to help him clean, much to Alice's annoyance because Emmett had been extremely disorganized and had been very flighty when deciding what he wanted to take or leave.

Eventually he threw out some things and kept others, he had marked an opened box "DO NOT FORGET!" that he had indeed forgotten. I looked inside in case it was something of vital importance to see that they were videos. Each had a letter from the alphabet, no words just letters- the last being _P_.

Having college on the very top of my mind and thinking it had been a sort of project diary at Woodbury, I popped one into the VHS player in the gameroom. Alice had fallen asleep from all of the cleaning and sorting so I went down by myself.

I almost broke the TV when I threw the control in a defense mechanism.

A naked man and woman began having sex on the screen. I screamed, jumped and yelled out profanities in record time when I tried retrieving the control to turn it off.

Their voices, moaning and acts sounding off the giant gameroom as if tuned into an amplifier.

_"Oh yeah baby, give it to me. Yeah."_

_"You like that? You like my huge cock inside of your wet pussy?"_

_"Yeah, oh yeah just like that. Give it to me."_

After grabbing the control from the floor, I went to the TV and was about to turn it off only to take a moment and watch what they were doing. In a lapse of curiosity I watched the two people defiling each other in front of the camera.

The woman was a boxom bottle blonde who wore way too much makeup and looked like she was having the time of her life. I couldn't see the man but he had short brown hair, his back to the camera as he fucked the woman on the screen.

_Huh._ I cocked my head to the side as I watched, that being the first time I'd ever seen the act of sexual intercourse sans the illustrations in Health class and Mike Newton's perverse thrusting every time he tried showing off to the other girls.

_"Take my cock."_

_"I want to suck it with my cum all over it."_

_"Yeah? Open your mouth and suck."_

I gasped covering my mouth with my hand as the man took out his vein-covered penis, it was glistening from her liquid as he shoved his cock into her awaiting mouth. _Edward's does not look like that. His is smooth and young._ I cleared my thoughts of Edward to see what the people were doing on the screen now.

_What the fuck?_

I watched in pure disgust as she sucked his penis, thinking of how unsanitary it was when she pulled him out with a _pop_ and blew lightly on his tip. The man visibly shivered as he thrust himself back in her mouth. She grinned knowingly looking up at him through her fake lashes.

_So this must be a blow job._

Jane, Victoria, Bree Olson had mentioned they had done this before with their boyfriends and had each given their opinion on the act.

"It's ok I guess." Bree shrugged when Alice asked her, "it doesn't do anything for me in particular but whatever."

"I love it," Jane exclaimed eyes, bright. "I have no gag reflex so Felix is always complimenting me for it." I'd wondered what a gag reflex had to do with a blow job but not wanting to sound ignorant and naïve I'd kept my mouth shut. _Why hide what you are? I don't understand._

Victoria had been a mixture of both Jane and Bree, "eh." She shrugged, "as long as he gets me off I don't give a fuck what I have to do."

The woman on the screen sucked on the cock, my mind running wild with me as I imagined what it would be like if I did something like that with a guy. My mind betrayed me and I soon imagined myself in that position- sans camera, as the crude man morphed into Edward.

But also thinking of being in such a personal position with anyone made my defenses rise; It made me nervous.

I grimaced turning off the video. I ejected it and ran upstairs to throw it in Emmett's box, _so this must be his porn collection._ I thought as I stared at the box full of inconspicuous black tapes.

I thought about throwing them away and sending them to him but my curiosity won out. He had so many, the thought of more sexual acts made me want to watch all of them. So I took the box into my bedroom, thankful that Alice was asleep and Esme had gone to town with Eliza for the week's groceries and Dr. Cullen was at Forks Memorial Hospital as always.

I put the box in the furthest part of my closet and covered it with old blankets, making it look like they had fallen from their place overhead.

Bringing myself back to Edward's call I had let it slip that I wanted to try new things with him next time he came to Forks.

"Bella…" Edward was totally breathless. Goosebumps erupted all over me since it had been the first time he'd ever said my name in the act. It felt thrilling to hear it come out of his lips like that. _Oooh I like that…_

"I watched porn the other day." I threw in to gauge his reaction.

His breathing hiked, "you… _porn_… fuck me." I knew he was about to reach his climax by how quick the bursts of breath were escaping him. "_Oh fuck."_ His voice sounded distant, knowing he had pulled away from the phone to let go of his release. He groaned a few times, cursing under his breath. I smiled feeling proud of what I did to him.

"Edward," I moaned thinking back to how the woman had spoken to the man.

"Yeah?" Edward was back, sounding expectant. I smiled enjoying how much I liked teasing my once-tormentor.

"As I was saying…" I hoped to fucking god I sounded a fraction of the woman without sounding sleazy or desperate.

"You watched porn?" His voice caught in his throat.

"Yeah."

"What-why-how." He rambled, his mind clearly working to keep with me. I laughed a breathy giggle, "where and when?" I chuckled thinking of school.

"That's not fair Bella." Edward growled, sounding angry but turned on. My abdomen clenched at the sound of his voice. _Oh._ "I wish I'd been there to see you watch porn for the first time." I laughed rolling my eyes.

"You're so conceited Edward. You always want to be my first." The words came out before I could stop them. Edward's breath caught for the umpteenth time during the call, "oh yeah baby, you know it." He moaned wantonly into the phone, right into my ear as the sensation shot through my body into my clit making me moan at the possibilities.

I bit my lip, feeling the pool of blood in my cheeks. "Um…" _Change the subject, change the subject, change the subject!_

Edward chuckled knowing he had rendered me speechless, "I love it when I do that to you."

Feeling anger bubble inside of me- he had ruined my dominating mood, I said, "fuck you Edward."

Edward sighed lightly, I could imagine him sitting back into his headrest as he spoke with me, "whenever you want baby, just say the word and I'll be there."

I bit my lip from the thrill but said nothing. I remembered Jasper suddenly, "are you sure Jasper doesn't find it odd that I called you?" The familiar fear of being found out washed away the lust.

"I'm sure." He said knowingly, "he knows there's nothing between us except a competitive spirit." He told me, sounding disappointed I had ruined his mood. _Well, so did he so we're even._

"Don't you think he'll wonder why I called you?"

"I'll just tell him you called because I ruined your favorite Converse and now you're calling me to bite my head off."

I thought about the lie, it sounded plausible but too easy. It was so easy for him to lie.

"Trust me babe, I've got this." He told me soothingly.

"Alright." I conceded, forcing myself to look at the time. It was past nine meaning it was past midnight in the east coast. "You need to sleep." I said, noticing the fresh disappointment in my voice.

"I don't have to…"

"I don't want you to flunk your classes."

"I don't go in tomorrow-today until two pm. I've got time." He insisted.

"It's ok," I knew my time with him had come to an end for the day, that and I didn't want to go over three hours with him on the phone. Charlie would definitely notice.

_Maybe I should convince him to let me run the house, that way I'll have control of the bills and he won't be the wiser._ I put that thought away for future reference, not sounding bad.

"Did I bore you?" Edward asked me, a hint of fear in his beautiful rich voice. This took me by surprise since I rarely heard any kind of insecurity in his voice. It went against everything he stood for.

"No it's just that I don't want you to be tired by tomorrow. You're going to be a big fancy doctor like your father and I wouldn't want the perfect grades Esme says you _supposedly _have," I exaggerated trying to sound as if I didn't believe his perfect grades.

I knew Esme wasn't lying since Edward had always carried perfect grades since I could remember. He might have been an arrogant ass but he always held a 4.0 average. Making it into Dartmouth had been a piece of cake for him; with or without his father's backing.

He laughed knowing where I was going, "jealous much?"

"Not even Cullen." I flared, sure I had a 3.5 but I was working my way towards a 4.0 since I wanted to graduate with the best possible score.

I hadn't told anyone but Alice but I'd decided to become a pastry chef. I had done my research and the three schools I wanted to go to were one of the campuses of Le Cordon Bleu- most likely the L.A. based campus, Del Mar College in Corpus Christi and the school I would dream to be accepted into, The Culinary Institute of America, Hyde Park in New York.

Alice wanted me to get into TCIA because _her_ dream college was Parsons, The New School For Design in New York and that would mean we could live together even though we'd be going to different colleges.

Rosalie had decided to also go into fashion and was working to also get accepted into Parsons. It was almost a fact that both of them would get in but I didn't have the same odds. I had to consider the tuition and expenses for living out of state and as much as I knew Charlie wanted me to succeed, I didn't want to waste money frivolously.

"Sure, sure," Edward chuckled, "whatever you say Swan."

"It's true," I replied petulantly, "what with studying and working-"

"You're working?" He asked, sounding surprised but something told me Esme had already told him I'd been recently hired by Mike Newton's father to work for their sporting goods store. _I'll humor him._

'You heard right, Cullen." I said proudly, "I'm Newton's Outfitters' new sales associate."

He whistled sounding impressed, I rolled my eyes at his almost-perfect acting. "Wow, so you're bringing home the bacon. I should feel ashamed but I'm not." He said this nonchalantly but something about his words made my skin prickle, not knowing if it was a good thing or bad thing.

"I want a car." I said not knowing what to say.

"That's great baby, are you almost at your goal or did you just start saving?"

"I just started last month but I'll get there eventually." I grinned feeling proud of myself again. "I need to past my driving test first." Edward laughed, "good point. What would people say if the Chief of Police's daughter was driving illegally?" I laughed rolling my eyes.

The voice inside sighed contently, _god how I miss you._

_~.~.~._

_Staying Alive_ blasted through his speakers, his bathroom door was closed as I brushed my teeth. I rolled my eyes at his exuberant mood so early in the morning. He'd arrived from Dartmouth the night before while his family slept. His dad had gone to pick him up from Sea-Tac just like last year and was now making himself at home once again. I rinsed my mouth and chuckled, I knocked on the door.

The music was too loud for him to hear so I decided to use the key he'd given me for the first time ever. I went to retrieve it from my armoire and ran to the bathroom to open the door. I had to hurry.

Knowing Edward, he was probably getting swept up in the music.

I was right.

I opened the door to find him with his back to me and only in his old green silk pajama bottoms, singing to the song and dancing a la John Travolta. His new, huge, overexposed Marilyn Monroe Chanel No. 5 print hung behind his headboard. I didn't know if to laugh or gasp at the horror for finding him disco dancing.

I'd seen Edward shirtless before but I'd never seen him from behind. He had his back to me, as I noticed his shoulder blades jutting out of his smooth white skin, his arms were defined and manly; my eyes roamed his entire length surprised he had such a hot ass. My mouth watered automatically at the sight.

He jumped into his bed positioning himself making me remember of a mountain lion and gracefully landed on his unmade bed. He turned around still riding the disco wave. He stopped suddenly when he saw me across the room, door open and mouth on the floor. Shock ran through his ever-changing face. His boyish lines were almost a far memory as I followed his masculine, sharp ones.

My eyes glued themselves to the planes of his chest, and noticed his bottoms riding very low on his hipbones, I felt the saliva pool in my mouth. I swallowed as he ran his hand through his bed hair. _He always had bed hair though so there's really no difference..._

He took me in licking his lips and lowering his lids as an evil grin inched its way through his luscious lips. The song was about to end and he went back to dancing with the same fervor before I came into the room.

I felt myself start to laugh at his ridiculousness; he bounced off his bed with the same grace as when he'd jumped on. Biting his lips sensually and keeping his eyes on me he danced on to me grabbing me before I could pull away. I noticed his tattoo he'd gotten the year before, looking as sexy and dumb as ever. But I would never admit that to him. The sexy part anyway.

Before I could do anything else he kissed me deep and seductively. I gave out a low moan when I felt the fire alight with life in the pit of my stomach. Memories of his 'teachings' came back to me instinctively pressing my body against his.

_Billie Jean _took the place of the Bee Gees but I couldn't care less.

Edward's minty breath and musky scent clouded my synapses; he groaned pulling away and attaching his lips to my neck. _I sense a theme_, my subconscious told me gleefully.

I tilted my neck to the side give him more room, he held me tighter around my waist for the second time ever, hands roaming south and grabbing my ass. I felt an old fear for a moment but the fire killed it. _Not now._

Edward went back to my lips kissing me with a building passion, non-verbally telling me how much he'd missed my body these five months. He didn't miss _me_, he missed teasing and kissing me.

_Sure._ My inner voice told me, rolling her eyes impatiently and wanting to go back to the show. _Shut up and _feel_. I'm not on duty right now._

The Bee Gees came back with _You Should be Dancing._

Wasn't _Billie Jean_ just starting?

_WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO HIS MUSIC? PAY ATTENTION TO THE GOD IN FRONT OF YOU!_

Said god pulled away breathlessly, "hey baby." He grinned, keeping his thumb and index finger on my chin. His green eyes turned from darkened emeralds to clear viridian.

"Hi." I answered in the same breathless tone. I felt my cheeks begin to fill with excess blood as he ran his thumb through my bottom lip. I took in his face, his jaw had never looked so defined, he had light stubble all over it making something clench inside of me. _Breathtaking..._ my subconscious whispered, eyes rolling behind her lids.

He didn't say anything, he just watched me, eyes jumping up and down taking me in.

"Bella?" I heard Alice's call in my bedroom. I jumped way from Edward and looked at him; the familiar nerves of getting caught washed away the fire. His right hand flew to the blackness in his shoulder and looked to the bathroom in pure fear- his family still didn't know about his tattoo. Without a word I turned around and closed his door behind me. I fixed my messy hand and slapped my cheeks to try and get rid the flush of color.

"Coming!" I opened the door rushing in taking Alice by surprise. "What's up?" I locked the bathroom door behind me.

"I wanted see if you were up." She bit her lip lightly and turning a light pink. I knew that wasn't the whole reason, her cheeks told me that much.

She waited for me say something but I just have her, a pointed look failing in trying to kill my grin. She huffed loudly giving in, "I wanted to vent ok?" She turned on her heel throwing herself on the bed.

Alice had fallen for Edward's best friend and college roommate Jasper Whitlock and was hurt that he hadn't come with Edward for summer vacation just like he'd done so during the past Christmas.

"Edward says he's not coming to spend the summer with us," she spoke face down, her voice coming out muffled but I still understood what she was saying, "he's going to Texas to be with his crazy family." I knew that was the whole rant so I just sat on the edge of the bed and waited for her to finish. "I mean why couldn't he come _here_ where he won't be rejected and pushed aside?"

"Very _Harry Potter_ don't you think?" I said cheerfully trying to make her feel better.

"Shut up."

"Are you Ginny now?" I let out a small chuckle enjoying the similarities between her and Ginny Weasley. It was too funny.

She turned her face to the side, "what happened in the last book?" _Did she forget?_

"Um…"

"Humor me." She'd read the book as soon as I finished it, I didn't understand why she was acting this way.

"He took one of the school's gossips to the Ball after his crush rejected him. He didn't ask Ginny." Alice whined before I finished my sentence.

"I _am_ Ginny Weasley!" She went back to the bed and pounded it with her fists.

Jasper had started dating one of the German exchange students at Dartmouth, Edward had sent us a photo of the three of them together.

He met Karla at a local coffee shop and asked for her number. She liked his accent, he liked hers. And since then Edward says they literally don't stop talking to each other in hopes of successfully mimicking the other's way of speaking.

Weird.

"Alice," I tried being gentle with her, "I know you like him but maybe you should move on. I mean you're too afraid to do anything because of what Edward might say and well…" _Careful now_, "if Jasper was into you, don't you think he would have made it a point to come back?"

Alice looked at me, eyes misting but she didn't outwardly cry. "You're right." She nodded once looking at the floor and getting up. "I'm just wasting my time."

"Exactly." I bit my lip. I hated being the bearer of bad news but if I really considered her my friend I had to be honest with her and hope for the best.

"Alright." She got up and walked to her room, "I just need a bit to cry myself out." She told me with no emotion in her voice as she slowly made herself to her room.

"Are you sure you'll be ok?"

"Yes."

"Alice-"

"I'll be fine Bella," she gave me a rueful smile and walked off. I stared at the closed bedroom door wanting to go to her and make her feel better but I knew she needed time to be alone and gather her thoughts.

I sighed throwing myself onto my unmade bed; my thoughts went back to my bathroom neighbor. I grinned closing my eyes as my fingertips traced his invisible kisses, my bathroom door knocking bringing me back in the present and smiled widely knowing he'd answered my mental call. I ran up to see him dressed and grinning from ear to ear, "she didn't catch us."

"But she could have." I said running to lock the bedroom door and going back to him as he wrapped his arms around me.

"But she didn't." He insisted laughing lightly. "How did you sleep?" He asked curiously, I cocked an eyebrow, he never asked me how I'd slept, something was up.

"Why do you ask?" I traced circles in his new arm muscles. The craving to see him shirtless again was overwhelming.

"Just wondering." He sang shifting his feet, yeah something was definitely up when his lower body came into contact with mine. "Edward..." I rolled my eyes, he was always "excited' if you asked me.

"I missed you." He whispered into my ear making me erupt in goosebumps, my lower body immediately went into overdrive thinking of what he might have in store for me. He took my chin in his hand and held it in place inching down to kiss me softly.

My breath hitched as his lips caressed mine in the softest of kisses. I felt warm and fuzzy.

"I know, I know. I'm just wondering if you have time today?" He bit his lip nervously.

"Today's Saturday," I reminded him pointedly. He knitted his eyebrows confused and after a moment of quick thought he remembered why Saturdays were so important to me. My appointment with Dr. Carter. "Oh!"

I laughed pulling away and going to my closet to get my bag, "I'm leaving now."

"How are you getting there?" He asked, "Charlie's in Portland at that government seminar." Charlie had been invited by the federal government to speak to rookie cops in Portland because of his almost-perfect record; he wouldn't be back until next week.

But I didn't need Charlie to drive me to Seattle since Charlie bought a vintage cherry red Chevy truck from Billy Black. I'd tried to pay Charlie with the money I'd saved up since getting a job but he wouldn't hear any of it saying it was a gift and to use the money saved up for clothes or whatever girls bought. I rolled my eyes.

I liked the truck, don't get me wrong. It was a great truck with ok mileage if you can call it that and was able to get me from point A to point B without much trouble.

"My truck." I swung my bag and walked out remembering to grab a coat since the news reported possible rainfall; we lived in the Olympic Peninsula of course there would be rainfall some time or another.

"You got a truck?" He followed me out.

"Uh yeah." I noticed Alice's bedroom was closed proving my earlier theory.

"Are you talking about that relic outside of the garage? I thought Dad found that truck on the side of the road when I saw it last night." He stated incredulously as we went down his house's grand staircase. I rolled my eyes at the typical response, "it's a great truck, don't knock it."

"Are you serious? I thought you would get something more…"

"It's a great truck," I interrupted him, "besides it was a gift from Charlie." I went towards the kitchen for an apple and a glass of water before heading out deciding on getting a bite in Seattle before coming back to Forks.

"How did Charlie come across that thing in the first place?" Eliza was brewing fresh coffee when we got to the huge state-of-the art kitchen the Cullens had chosen. Esme had personally redecorated it a few months ago replacing the black marble counter tops with black granite. The cupboards were black tarnished wood instead of dark brown from before. It was my heaven.

"Billy Black sold it to Dad who gave it to me." I shrugged grabbing an apple and watching him move around getting a fresh cup of coffee.

"Are you sure it's safe?" He asked quizzically over his shoulder, Eliza chuckled, "that's what I asked her when she brought it home the day her father bought it."

"Yes. Jacob has done a great job in the maintaining it." I rolled my eyes, shifting the weight of the bag, "I'll be home later." I turned around only to be turned around by Edward who'd held on to my hand stopping me from going further. I raised an eyebrow, "yes?"

"Let me take you," he said darkly, "I don't trust that truck."

"Edward-"

"I agree with him honey," Eliza piped up from behind, "they said it would rain today and it would be the first time you drive to town in a rainfall. I would feel better if you went with Edward in his Volvo."

"But-"

"That's settled," he spun me around walking to the garage, I scowled getting annoyed at their unneeded worries.

"Edward!" We heard a deep growling of thunder somewhere far in the mountains. He turned to me cocking an eyebrow, smirking arrogantly. "No buts." He opened the door for me and waited for me to get in, I huffed trying to show him I wasn't happy.

He ran to the other side and started his car, once again taking his time feeling the car below him, "she misses you?" I asked remembering what he'd told me in December. He smiled, "I think so." He turned on the music letting Steven Tyler sing into his speakers. "Where's Dr. Carter's office again?"

"It's on Marion and 5th."

"Ok." He nodded pulling out of the garage and driving out of his house's grounds. "How's everything babe?"

I sighed feeling a weird sense of relief now that he was back, "same old same old."

"Don't lie to me," he chuckled. "How's working at Newton's?" He drove towards the freeway away from Forks, the clouds outside were fluffy and white but the wind was picking up giving me the idea that it would rain by the time we reached the city.

"It's fine I guess, right baby?" I shrugged again feeling like my life hadn't changed in contrast to his who was now in college and studying to be a doctor.

My life must have sounded so boring.

Edward looked at me quickly, eyes bugging out but he didn't say anything. He went back to staring at the road, he cleared his throat, "how's school?"

"Ugh don't remind me, I'm graduating next year!" He chuckled merging into the freeway towards Seattle, "it's not that bad, have you decided what you want to do?"

I'd decided earlier this year to persue a career in the culinary arts specializing in pastries; I hadn't told anyone but Alice, Rose and Charlie in fear of not getting into my dream college next year. "I want to be a pastry chef." I announced feeling mighty proud of myself, I wanted to share my excitement with him now.

He turned to me, grinning. "Yes please, I love your baking!" I blushed looking down at his proclamation.

"Seriously?" I asked behind my blanket of hair.

"Yes," I could see him turning to me, "what's the matter baby?" He turned to see someone cut him off, "oh hell no." He honked wildly cussing the driver out.

"Roadrage babe." I said laughing and thinking of Charlie and how he would have killed whoever cut off the car I was in. _So overprotective I swear._

"Sorry," Edward blushed grinning slightly. The music changed to Guns 'N Roses, I giggled thinking back to his father's pride in similar musical tastes. "What is it?"

"Nothing." I said looking out of the window- we'd reached some light gridlock. _Good thing I'm obsessed with being early and left forty five minute early._ I felt him grab my hand and kissed it suddenly, "I missed you." He told me as his lips grazed the back of my hand; my heart fluttered and the voice swooned. I cleared my throat as he let go of my hand going back to driving once traffic started moving.

I cleared my throat, my cheeks burning, "I missed you too." I whispered under my breath.

It was true. He and I had very little contact in the last five months. I focused in studying for my SATs and getting my GPA to stay at its 3.5 score but I wanted a 4.0 so I'd become a hermit and stayed home studying. Alice and Rose tried getting me out of the house but I would always flake on them. They still asked me out they half expected me to turn them down even though they'd been doing the same thing but not as fanatically.

Edward had called my personal line a few times but for whatever reason either Charlie called me to dinner or he had to cut the call early because of lack of sleep before we went beyond the courtesies. Except for one when I'd called him for the first time ever, I was oddly proud to say we had phone sex and it was fun.

I'd accidentally found Emmett's old porn videos and had watched one of them that day awakening further curiosity in the world of sex. It hadn't been the same with him in front of me but the thought of having him there in my ear made up for the distance. It was a good substitution but not as satisfying as having him live and in color.

"You did?" He asked me sounding surprised.

"Yeah." I bit my lip looking out the window staring at the car next to us, the man looked at me for a moment and then grinned, winking at me. I looked at him disgusted and turned back to the beautiful boy- _or was he a man now?-_ next to me.

Edward smiled at me and we went on to Seattle reaching Dr. Carter's office just in time. Even in traffic and Edward following the state ordinances he still drove like a madman.

I went up to Heidi the receptionist and told her I was here to see Dr. Carter, she didn't look at me at all instead she stared at Edward who stood behind me hand in his pocket. "Hi." She said stupidly. I turned to Edward who looked at me then at her, perplexed. "Hi?" I laughed because he looked so lost, he had no idea he was so handsome, girls lost their train of thought around him.

"Heidi," I called her back to me, she didn't turn to me instead tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear looking at Edward with lust and want. _Oh no sweetie, this boy is mine._ "Heidi." I said stiffly, she couldn't ignore me any longer and turned her cheek to me obviously not wanting to. "I'm here for my ten thirty appointment."

"Yes I know Bella, you can take a seat." She told me swiftly, going back to ogling Edward who scowled at her.

I knew he was about to say something back, so I thought of something that would both show Heidi not to mess with what was mine and diffuse Edward. I turned his face to me with my palm and looked at him through my lashes, "can you get my sweater from the car, it's a little chilly here baby."

Edward's mouth dropped a little but nodded, "ok." I'd left my sweater in his car thinking I wouldn't need it in the warm office but I needed the bitch to know he was called for- _kind of_.

I smiled brightly dropping my hand, "thank you." I said sweetly. Edward swallowed and went to get my sweater. I watched him leave taking in his body just like earlier. I sighed watching his lean form open and close the door behind him.

I turned back to Heidi fuming, she stared at me open-mouthed her ice blue eyes bugging out. "Let me know when she's ready for me." I sat down in one of the chairs thinking of Heidi possibly mentioning this to Charlie if he ever came to touch base with Dr. Carter, I thought quickly of how I would explain it to him.

I was biting my lip thinking furiously when both Edward and Dr. Carter walked into the waiting room. Heidi's head snapped to the entrance. Dr. Carter greeted me, "hello Bella, nice to see you again." She turned to Edward who had my blue sweater in his hand, he ran his hand through his hair as I noticed little droplets of water all over him. _Must've started raining._

"Hello." Dr. Carter greeted him, Edward looked at her and blushed slightly. I knew the feeling- she was very intimidating when you first met her. "Hello." He answered back extending his hand just like his parents taught him, "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

"Edward?" Dr. Carter lifted her chin, surprise all over her face as she hiked her glasses up her nose for a better look at the famous Edward Cullen.

I'd told her everything that had happened between him and I in our long history together, even the naughty thing, the phone sex being the most recent even though it happened two and a half months ago.

Dr. Carter had asked me point blank if I had feelings for Edward after I told her about the orgasms. The question had taken me by complete surprise but I didn't answer right away, "I don't know. I have to think about it."

"Alright." She nodded writing something down on her pad, "do you think he has feelings for you?"

"What?"

"Don't you think he does?" She'd quirked her eyebrow quizzically, "think about it Bella. He teased you when you were kids, he gave you your first kiss, he taught you how to kiss, he made it a point to come on to you and let's not mention what happened during the holidays _and _last spring."

"I don't know." I couldn't wrap my head around Edward having feelings for me other than possibly having fun with a few kisses or so.

And sex maybe.

"Think about it ok?" She said crossing her legs in the opposite direction. "But if I'm being blunt, I think he's had feelings for you for a while now."

Now he was in front of her, I was nervous as fuck because of what she might do even though I knew it was against her ethics to mention anything I'd told her behind closed doors. "Dr. Evelyn Carter." She took his hand missing a beat or giving anything away.

"I've heard nothing but good things about you ma'am." He said politely, I could see Esme smiling behind him, proud of his polite manners.

"I would say the same to you, Edward." She sent me a quick glance grinning slightly. I looked away blushing up a storm and wishing the ground would swallow me up. Edward looked at me surprised, "oh?" He grinned devilishly at me, "I see."

_Fuck_. He was going to give me the third degree when we left.

"Shall we go inside?" I said suddenly, overeager.

"Of course." Dr. Carter studied me quickly as she lead me to the office, I turned back to Edward, "it'll only be an hour, I'll be right back ok?" I didn't want to leave him with Heidi but there was no way I could take him inside with me and lock him in Dr. Carter's second office, the one she used for child patients.

I'd started out in that room when I'd come to her. The room was bright and decorated with bright animal decals, stuffed animals lined the walls ranging in sizes and child sized bean bags were the choice of furniture aside from the two "adult" chairs around the center carpet where I used to play with. There was a small coloring table opposite the bean bags.

I'd moved to the "big" room when I turned fourteen only staying in that room one year. Dr. Carter's big room was like any psychiatrist's office, big plush leather chairs- in her case they were faux leather since she hated taking care of real leather. Bookcases surrounded the office with a nice dark wood desk behind a wide windows overlooking Seattle.

I walked in and sat down in my usual chair noticing the droplets of water falling already knowing it was drizzling outside. Dr. Carter took her seat making herself comfortable and taking out her notepad, "so Edward's back from Dartmouth?"

"Yes." I knew where she was going, "he came back last night while everyone was sleeping." I blushed looking away.

"And he drove you to your appointment."

"Yes."

"You remember what I told you last time we spoke about Edward two weeks ago?"

"Yes."

"Let's analyze how you feel about his arrival shall we?" She smiled kindly letting me lead the conversation adding her comments every now and then.

~.~.~.

I walked out of Dr. Carter's office blushing wildly walking out to find Edward sitting in the furthest chair from the reception desk, I noticed a glass of water front of him in the small coffee table that had magazines over it. He was reading _Men's Health._ He had had his leg crossed over his thigh; my sweater was draped over his legs. His eyebrows were knitted in concentration as he ran his index finger through his bottom lip not knowing what that was doing to a hyperventilating Heidi at the desk.

_Really bitch? You're still checking out my goods? He's almost nineteen when you look twenty six._

I huffed going to Edward who caught my eye. He put the magazine down quickly standing up like a shot, "hey." I said going to him but not hugging him even though I wanted to just to ward off the bitch receptionist.

"How did it go?" He smiled brightly, breathing deeply.

"Alright." I smiled turning to Dr. Carter, "thank you again."

"No problem Bella." She sent me knowing look and turned to Edward rounding him up again, "nice to make your acquaintance Edward."

"Ma'am." He looked at her thoughtfully.

"Shall we go?" I wasn't done with Heidi though, "I want you to take me to lunch." I smiled widely again hoping I didn't look deranged. Edward looked at me again perplexed at my weird mood but didn't question me; instead he grinned and offered to help me into my sweater. I accepted making it a point to let him put in for me. "Thank you." He untucked my hair and let it fall over my shoulders.

"Bella I won't be able to make our appointment next week, I'll be going to Des Moines this Monday and won't be back until next Sunday evening." Dr. Carter informed me.

"Oh ok, that's fine."

"I'll see you in two weeks then." She waved goodbye as she turned on her heel, "bye Edward."

"Goodbye." He said taken aback.

"Heidi in my office now please." She said as she walked towards her office door, Heidi stared at her worried, she sent Edward a last longing look before running after her boss. I huffed again going outside onto the hallway of other psychologists' offices. Dr. Carter's office was located in a building that focused in psychology.

There were the child psychologists, sexual psychologists, military psychologists. There was a type of psychologist for every niche possible. Dr. Carter's office was in the first floor making it easy for me to walk into the parking lot.

I walked outside angrily, the thoughts of my appointment gone. How stupid of me to think that Edward had feelings for me and that there was a small part of me that wanted to reciprocate those feelings when there were women like Heidi who would make sure to make that an impossibility.

"Bella?" He rushed behind me grabbing me before I reached the big glass doors to the outside. "What's the matter baby?"

"Nothing let's go home."

"No, you asked me to take you to lunch and that's what I'm going to do." He tucked me into his body leading me out ducking head trying to cover the rain. I did the same as he guided me to his Volvo. The rain was coming in steadily making my mood worsen.

He opened the door for me and I went in quickly, he was next to me just as quickly, "what are you in the mood for?" He asked me taking his keys out.

"I'm not hungry anymore."

"Don't be stupid darling, you only ate an apple this morning. You must be famished." He started the car, "how do you feel about seafood?"

"I don't care." I shrugged looking out the window.

"Hey," Edward said angrily turning me to him, "what's up?"

"I'm not in the mood anymore." I didn't meet his eyes.

"I'll put you in the mood baby," he said darkly. I looked at him and saw the old lust in his eyes taking my breath away. I couldn't believe I'd forgotten the way his eyes smoldered when he was angry.

"Do you remember how you felt the day after Christmas?" I swallowed knowing where he was going with this, I nodded as my body naturally clenched around my center. "And do you remember how you felt when you called me last March?" I nodded dumbly, "and do you remember how you said you wanted 'more'?" My body buzzed awake by just his lustful glare. "You eat right now and I'll eat tonight." He said his breathing becoming shallow.

_Oh god what did that mean?_

I felt shivers all over even though I didn't know what he meant exactly. Trusting him I nodded but I said something I hadn't thought of ever coming out of my mouth. "Ok if you make it a date." I gasped covering my mouth as soon as the words left my lips.

Edward stared at me in absolute shock. "Oh god!" My heart clenched, "I'm sorry- that- I don't-"

"Deal." He said nodding determinedly the wildfire in his eyes had slowed to a smoky burn. He leaned into me kissing me suddenly taking my breath away. When he pulled away I could have sworn he could hear my heart beating in my chest, his eyes were hooded and heavy. "Let's go with our instincts huh?" he sounded just as gone as I, "let's not think of anything other than what we feel in the moment." He let out a slow breath as he stared at my lips.

"Yes." I nodded, my heart was singing and the voice was screaming in both ecstasy and blinding happiness.

"You're sure?"

"Yes." I looked at him, "are _you_ sure?" He laughed running his hand through his hair lightly. "Oh definitely."

* * *

**Next up, E/B's first "date"- I write it in quotation marks because Bella's going to have a hard time wrapping her mind around the idea hahaha ;D**

**I haven't watched BD2, but I can't wait to see it :D**


	15. Give A Little More

**Wow thank you to everyone who is still with me and hello to my new readers! The alerts came to my phone in a tsunami blowing me away!**

**I want to give a huge thanks to veraleeon and Babe Pryor for your helpful comments, I have taken them into consideration one way or another :)**

**Read the ending Author Note, it is three-times important!**

**P.S. If you listen to the song, think of Edward thinking of Bella ;)**

* * *

Maroon 5- _Give a Little More_

* * *

_2003._

**EPOV**

Bella asked me to take her out on a date.

_Wow._

I drove us to a small mom 'n pop in Belltown a few blocks away from the beach. They served the best halibut in the area and I wanted to take Bella somewhere where she would feel comfortable and at ease.

I pulled into the almost-empty parking lot reaching it before the lunch rush and ran to get her the door.

We hadn't spoken much on the ride there, she asked where we were going and I answered, knowing that we wouldn't reach real questions until we got back to Forks.

_No, I was going to be light and playful in the date to really show her who I could be if she just gave me a chance._

I looked down at her, she'd never actually gone on a date.

_Another first_, I thought egotistically and grinned widely as I swung an arm around her shoulder, her eyes opened infinitesimally. I bent down to kiss her cheek and she shivered, taking a shallow breath as her hand touched my chest.

_She liked that._ I noted mentally, as my cock twitched from the sudden desire to make her mine against my Volvo.

No, I wasn't going to be so primitive and crude. _If_ she gave me the privilege to make her mine, I would worship her in a comfortable, warm bed in private.

Before my mind could run away with me, I tucked her into my body as I lead her to the back entrance of the small restaurant. Fishing nets had been hung around the edge of the roof with well-painted replicas of tuna, starfish and anchors.

Sure it was stereotypical but they really did have a great menu and the atmosphere was homey and inviting.

Bella shivered into me when a light gust crossed us, we were two miles from the ocean making it a little colder than the parking lot of Dr. Carter's office. The air was salty and earthy, I gripped her closer to me relishing the contact and enjoying the weather.

We'd reached the door, before crossing the threshold I bent down and kissed her cheek.

_Why? Just because._

Bella looked at me surprised; I gave her a sheepish smile hoping she didn't mind. After a moment she gave me a huge grin. My heart swelled and warmth spread through me even in the cold weather.

I walked us in as a lanky, acne-filled guy walked to us, fake smile plastered over his face, he was not much older than me. He hadn't waited on Jasper, Emmett and I when we came last time.

I'd been right, the restaurant had just opened and there was only one man eating in a table near the bar. It would be perfect.

"Hi and welcome to _The Pacific Anchor,_ table for two?" He asked me, two menus in hand, glancing at Bella quickly but going back to her in a double take. He looked at her up and down, _the fuck?_

Bella had decided to wear hip-hugging black jeans and Converse, a white blouse that was demure but her round breasts made it sexy and tempting; her blue sweater she'd chosen made her skin look especially silky and smooth.

The green-eyed monster inside of me purred, awake now. He was more aware now that Bella had accepted going on a date with me and voicing the 'possible' feelings I felt her. "Yes." I nodded curtly, "preferably a booth."

"Sure, come this way." His eyes met mine and held on to my glare for a millisecond. _She's mine._

He turned on his heel, grinning, towards the corner booth far from the man by the bar. The waiter sat us down and handed us the menus. "My name is Mario." He took his pad, "anything to drink?" He looked to Bella who looked up, her plump lips twisting in thought. "I'll have a coke." She smiled at _Mario_ not happy that he was grinning at her suggestively.

Mario stared at Bella's chest. _This idiot is looking for a beating_. "I'll have water with a twist of lemon please." I closed the menu with a snap.

I glared at him, nonverbally telling him to back the fuck off but he just kept grinning and told us he would be back with our drink orders. I shot daggers at the fucker's head as he went to the kitchen. _You just cut your tip in half._

"This place is interesting." Bella looked around the restaurant taking in its nautical theme. Just like the outside, there was fishing nets, replicas of various types of fish, anchors and real hooks tangled around the wood-paneled walls. There were booths and tables around the floor, the table tops were faux weathered wood, and had painted antique maps of the Pacific Ocean and the surrounding land masses according to medieval records.

"I like it here, it's my favorite seafood place in the area." I grinned putting my hands on top of the table inching them towards her forgetting about the menu.

"Really?" She turned back to me, genuine interest in her voice. She came forward, mirroring me. Our hands were close enough to each other but I didn't move to take them. Not yet.

"Yeah, they have a great Halibut al Limón, it's a Mexican-inspired dish." I cocked my head to the side, grinning.

"You like lemon don't you?" She asked, smiling slightly.

I blinked not understanding the question, "what do you mean?"

"You ordered water with lemon and your favorite dish has lemon or lime as it were, if it's Mexican inspired." She noted, pulling her hands under her chin.

"Oh." I thought about it. I'd never realized I had latent favoritism towards the fruit. Come to think of it, I did always chose things that were tangy rather than sweet or savory. "I guess you're right." I blinked again going back to her pretty face.

She'd had a soft round face when growing up but now it had become more angular and long; she had high cheekbones that were more visible then before; her face had shadow and contrast now. Her hair fell over her, cascading over her shoulders; deep and dark caramel eyes were vibrant and curious.

She was beautiful.

"You learn something new every day." She told me, grinning impishly. I smiled, "even if it's about you."

Mario came back putting my glass of water with the twist in front of me, he took a little longer setting her drink down. "Here you go." He said to her.

The monster both growled and grinned- my confidence had come back full swing, "we'll let you know when we're ready." I told him, not thanking him for the drinks.

"Ok." He looked at me as I glared at him. He walked away, taking shelter behind the host's podium. Bella opened her menu, completely oblivious to the territorial fight that was going on around her. I was always dumbfounded at how deep her insecurities were towards herself.

She didn't see the lustful glances most of the guys at school used to send her when she turned her head. She was too focused on looking at the floor to see how most of the male student body watched her grow from a round to curvaceous.

I'd started to see her as Marilyn Monroe-esque to the point that I'd bought a couple prints of Marilyn when Jasper and I went to a swap meet. Jasper had a systematic hobby of antique-hunting, always looking for the next interesting find. Most of the time he just came across old stuff but he still liked the experience of looking at things with "a history" as he put it.

I found a man who worked for a framing store in the nearby town of Etna. He was selling great quality Golden Hollywood prints. I'd studied the prints, focusing on the vixens. There was an array of Monroe prints, looking for Bella in them.

I bought a large version of the famous Chanel No. 5 print because I loved the sensuality of it, the way Monroe ghosted her fingers down her throat making me think of Bella's and the way it felt under my lips. The strap of Monroe's dress over her shoulder, her coquettish smile- one that Bella only gave me in the bedroom as Monroe held on to a bottle of the perfume.

It could have been Bella, not Monroe on that print.

"Isn't that some famous ad she was in?" Jasper asked me, looking over my shoulder. I remembered Alice's quoting the famous line, "_What do I wear to bed? Why Chanel No. 5, of course._"

"Yeah," I nodded, quoting Monroe myself.

"Nice." Jasper nodded, going to see the James Dean photographs. I went back to Monroe, "she was the first sex bombshell, I'm not surprised you like that print." The man told me knowingly. He thought I was the typical male looking at Monroe with lecherous eyes but he had no idea I was looking for my girl in the original bombshell.

My curiosity flamed as I went back to see more. My eye caught another Monroe print, it wasn't as well known as the first so I studied it. "What's the story behind this photo?" I asked the man.

He adjusted his glasses, looking at what I was looking at. "It's a little-known photo of Marilyn in the early 50s. It's believed that it was taken by Ed Clark in Griffith Park for _TIME Magazine_."

I looked at the photo placing Griffith Park in the Los Angeles metro area. _Makes sense since she lived in Hollywood._

Monroe standing over a tiny pond, surrounded by rocks. _Most likely a basin of some sort since it looks raised_. The pond was surrounded by lush forest life, serene and pristine. Monroe herself wore light colored clothes, high-waisted hot pants and what appeared to be a female version of a crisp button down. I grinned because that was my favorite type of shirt.

Monroe looked at down pensively as she stood barefoot on the stone below her, left foot bent, showing off her long legs.

I remembered when Bella played with the water in Fork's waterfall.

The photo wasn't as large as the Chanel print but it was still considered unconventionally large, possibly meant to overlook a mantle in a bachelor pad. I grinned, _half true_. "I'll take this too." I told the man, handing him both prints.

"Do you want them framed?" He asked taking them.

"Yes."

"Gold or silver frames, young man?" He asked me motioning to his collection at his feet. I thought about this quickly.

Bella wasn't extravagant and showy. "Silver frames, not gold please." I looked to more prints finding Elizabeth Taylor and Audrey Hepburn.

There was a ten by eight photo of Taylor in the backlot with what seemed to be Montgomery Clift. Taylor was up against the corner of a wall, feet over the small curb, looking over her shoulder as who I believed to be Clift looks at her, hands in his pockets leaning against the other side of the corner. "Is that Montgomery Clift?" I asked the man, he looked up as he wrapped my framed prints in tissue paper. "It is," he nodded. "You sure know your stuff. People don't really recognize him like they used to."

"I guess." I shrugged, not thinking much about recognizing one of the lesser known stars of the Hollywood system. Montgomery Clift had been what Johnny Depp was now. The Hollywood actor known for playing "moody, sensitive young men."

The print kind of reminded me of Bella and I. She would seem uninterested but she always looked over her shoulder to curiously as I tried to grab her attention. "I'll take that too."

"Wow Edward look at this." Jasper called out to me, I'd totally forgotten he had been with me. I had been submerged in my 'activity.' Whatever it was, I was doing.

I took a quick break from my search to look at what Jasper had been looking at. He found a close up of James Dean in a familiar cowboy hat and limp cigarette between his teeth.

"Is that from the movie _Giant_?" I asked taking a closer look.

"Yes sir." Jasper exaggerated his Southern accent, I rolled my eyes laughing. I loved James Dean- he was the epitome of who I wanted to be without the untimely death of course.

Jasper and I had bonded over him when I came home one day after renting _Rebel Without a Cause_ from the video store.

"I'm taking it." Jasper grinned. I nodded feeling a quick sense of loss. _Damn he was fast_. He went over to where I'd been looking at the prints I'd chosen.

He quirked his eyebrow when his eyes fell on the Griffith print. "Interesting." Probably remembering Bella himself in a similar location.

"No bullshit." I said, going to the Audrey Hepburn prints.

"Alright, alright." He chuckled, "are they for Bella?"

"No, they're for my room." I said absent-mindedly, I'd found a photo of Hepburn looking at the camera while her body faced the left. Her hair was in an elegant bun, minimal makeup showing her sophisticated beauty, she wore a strapless floral dress with what seemed to be white elbow-length opera gloves. She had a tiny smirk on her lips.

Simple and elegant just like Bella.

"This one too." I told the man, as my eyes ravaged the other prints.

Jasper laughed, "how many are you planning to take?" I shrugged looking at the other prints not really finding anything that truly caught my eye. "I guess that's all of them." I looked to him, grinning.

"That'll be all?" The man asked me, putting the last framed photo in its own box.

"Yes." I nodded taking out my wallet, "for now. Do you have a business card? I want to go to your store if you have a wider selection."

"We do." He nodded taking out a business card from his table, "here you go." I smirked, thinking of possibly finding more photos reminding me of Bella. _Maybe a birthday present, I'd have to ask her for her preference when I go back to Forks next week._

"How much do I owe you?"

Coming back to our date I grinned, "what are you in the mood for?" She cocked her head to the side, twisting her lips as she took her menu and opened it.

"What do you recommend?"

"What are you in the mood for baby?" I asked, opening my menu more for her than for me.

"The Mahi Mahi lettuce wraps sound good." She mused, I looked at the selection, "what do you think babe?" _Is she doing it subconsciously or on purpose?_

"Sounds great baby." I signaled the douche at the podium. He came over, once again focusing on Bella, "appetizers?"

"No thanks." She said, scowling at the menu, "unless you want something babe." She said looking at me as if possibly insulting me by deciding for us.

_There it was again._ My internal voice grinned. I didn't know if she was being sarcastic or serious but she'd started calling me "baby" and "babe" since this morning. At first I'd thought it had been sarcastically, _but now…_

I hoped Mario caught that too.

"No I'm fine. We can order our entrees now if you want." I smirked arrogantly.

"I'd rather that, I want to be home before three." She smiled sheepishly. I cocked my eyebrow, _she had something to do?_

"Ok." I nodded turning to Mario and giving him the menu, "The Halibut al Limón in a bed of white rice and the Mahi Mahi lettuce wraps with the mango lime salsa."

He grabbed the menu, sending me an angry glare. I cocked an eyebrow, smirking and challenging him. He swallowed and excused himself. I turned to Bella, relaxing my face.

"What was that?" Bella asked me, laughing.

"What?" I asked taking the first sip from my lemon water.

"Sure you don't know what I'm talking about." She rolled her eyes, sipping on her coke. She grinned putting the drink down and placing her hands under her chin, in thought. "So what do you do in a date, exactly?"

"What do you mean?" I leaned forward, feeling the strong urge to kiss her. Something about her made me want to ravage her more than usual and that was saying something.

She shrugged, "what's the protocol?" She looked down for a second, "I don't really have a point of reference except movies, television shows and a general idea." She bit her lip in embarrassment. I grinned loving how shy she looked but knowing that a wild kitten was under that innocent exterior.

"You just talk and see if it's worth a second date." I thought about it never considering what it boiled down to, "if you want a third date then it must mean there's something there." I bit my lip hoping this expectation applied to her and I.

She nodded thoughtfully, her eyes focused over my head. "Makes sense."

"Of course if the dates go wrong, you might as well just cut your losses and move on." I pulling my hands under the table and twisted them around, praying now, that this wouldn't happen to us. I don't know what made me add that but I felt like we were in one of my "lessons" and naturally wanted to her to know every angle.

"Yeah, I know that much." She grinned, the old fire in her eyes. _She thinks I'm underestimating her well of knowledge._ "So what do people talk about on dates?" She took a small sip of her coke, her cute dark pink lips wrapping around the thin straw.

"There's no specific topic list, just whatever comes out naturally. You try to be as honest as possible without giving too much away; it's the _first_ date after all."

She nodded again, playing with the straw. "You don't know if the guy in front of you is a sort of stalker right?"

I nodded gravely. I needed her to know everything there was to the act of dating because the possibility of us not working out existed. I desired it to work in our own backward way but I wasn't going to be naive any longer.

That didn't mean I would give in quickly, I would fight for her affection until all hope was exhausted.

"So what's on your mind, Edward?" She asked, her cheeks inking again. She focused on her half-finished drink. I smiled, _don't focus on the bad, think about it- she must be interested if she's sitting here across from you in what appears to be a real date._

_You are self-assured and capable in achieving everything you want._

I had indeed started feeling less confident than before, I couldn't explain why but I'd started to feel out of character since last December. I'd begun to doubt my ground with Bella since meeting Jacob Black. I had moved across the country, my grasp on her had loosened and it made me both nervous and worried.

I knew she wasn't mine per se but it wasn't the same anymore.

But I remembered my "lessons" and her request for "more" in the sense of sexual games in the same breath, somewhat quelling my fears.

I took a deep breath trying to bring back some of my old over-confidence and playfulness, something I would be familiar with. I cocked my head the side one more time, "I was just remembering your phone call last March." I winked to add to the effect.

Her face fell, her eyes bugged out a little and her beautiful neck became a very tempting red. I knew that this happened when she was turned on. My cock twitched again, and the monster purred in response wanting to see her spread out for me again.

I took a deep breath trying to calm down my desire but failing miserably.

Bella took a deep breath, looking at my hands with unsteady eyes. "Oh." She said.

"Why do you need to be back before three?" I asked, calmly. My voice was low and detached because I was trying to calm down but I noticed Bella lean towards me with hooded eyes making me lose focus again, I licked my lips wanting to kiss her again. I felt like I'd kissed her years ago instead of a few hours.

"Because I don't expect to spend the entire day in Seattle and want to veg out in the gameroom with Alice tonight." She said as a matter-of-factly. "We're having a Johnny Depp marathon in preparation for his new pirate movie next month."

I laughed thinking back to my Depp reference to Montgomery Clift stringing my memories of the prints I bought thinking of her. "What?" She asked, defensively. "He's so fucking hot."

_Oh?_

"You have a crush on Johnny Depp?" This was interesting. I brought a mental image of Depp trying to find similarities between him and I.

He had dark features while I had clear ones, he was shorter than I and our temperaments were total opposites. _Fuck._

"I wouldn't call it a crush," she blushed lifting her straw up and down her glass, "he's just hot." She shrugged looking sheepish. I grinned, "are you sure? He's pretty dreamy. I'm sure you wouldn't mind having his kids." I sighed trying to sound ditzy and girly. She laughed rolling her eyes.

"Shut up Edward." She tried sounding angry but the tiny grin gave her away. The urge to kiss her was too much and before I could see what I was doing I stood up, rounded the table and kissed her.

This kiss was different. This kiss was full of the feelings and hope I felt for her to truly trust and accept me beyond where we stood. Bella opened her lips slightly, moaning after a moment.

I grinned into her lips but before I could deepen the kiss I heard someone clear his throat behind me. I reluctantly pulled away looking at the idiot who interrupted us.

Mario and our server stood behind me, with our entrees. Mario looked pissed and the server looked annoyed because he was carrying very hot plates.

"This is a _family_ restaurant, sir." Mario spat, "please refrain from _unsavory_ behavior."

Unsavory _behavior? Really?_

I looked around, the rush had begun and the people around our booth were staring.

I shrugged not apologizing for kissing Bella, I took my seat and cocked an eyebrow challenging him further. "Here are your entrees." The server told me putting our dishes down. "Another coke and water." I told Mario. "Don't forget the lemon twist please." I turned back to Bella who was bright red. If she'd had x-ray vision she would have dug a hole through her entree and on to the table. I laughed at her cuteness.

_I was kissing her, not fucking her on the table._

_Although..._

My cock twitched again, angry that it wasn't getting its wish to spring free.

_Tonight._

I cleared my throat refocusing on my girl only to be interrupted by Mario. It was my turn to glare at him annoyed. "Yes?" He blinked as if waking up suddenly, "I'll be right back with your refills."

I didn't bother to thank him again, turning to Bella. "Bon appetit babe." I grinned, feeling myself relax again. She giggled, the violet red had gone down to a muted pink. "Bon appetit baby."

My heart skipped a beat again. I looked at her face trying to see if there was any kind of sarcasm in her eyes but when I found a quizzical look I cleared my throat again feeling elation.

One more honest slip and I would know if she was truly warming up to me. I took a bite of my halibut and white rice not being able to stop the moan that escaped my lips from the deliciousness of the dish. The lemon undertones were just perfect. It wasn't overpowering yet there was enough to taste it.

Bella took one of her wraps and stared at me right before she took a bite. "What is it?" I asked.

"Nothing." She looked down, taking a tentative bite of her lettuce wrap. She hummed in delight after a moment of chewing.

I smiled loving the fact that she liked it therefore liking my choice of restaurant.

The psychological need for her to like _me_ as strong as when I'd been five

"They're delicious." She covered her mouth her hand delicately, giggling. An idea popped into head, _a cliche but whatever._ "What to try mine?" I offered her a bite of my fish, she looked surprised but then grinned flirtatiously, "ok only if you accept one of my wraps."

Half my mind was in the gutter and before I could stop myself again the words were out of my mouth, "baby," my voice was dark, "I definitely want one of your wraps-" she smiled, "your legs_wrapped_ around my neck."

It was definitely one of my worst puns but I didn't give a fuck, I wanted her to know what I wanted to do next.

The image made my cock begin to burn from the zipper, Bella's plump lips fell a little more as her eyes glazed over. Imaging my lips on her my eyes almost roll over.

Bella bit her lip, giving me a blazing look doused in questions, _ask me to what I mean. Ask me what I mean._

_Ask me._ I chanted feeling my body gravitate towards her.

She bit her lip deeper, her eyes flickering between my mouth and eyes, the questions churning with curiosity.

Part of me knew I wouldn't actually show her in the middle of the restaurant but fuck, I would have dropped the $800 I had on me in cash if it meant we could get on the road in five seconds, I would reach Forks in record time.

_I wish we were in my bedroom right now..._

"Your water and coke." Mario broke our raising sexual bubble _not_ helping his case. _You just cut your tip further bitch._ "How's everything?" He asked, mocking me. He knew what he was doing. _Oh hell no._

I swallowed fire and poison taking a second to redirect my attention, but Bella was faster, "everything's fine thank you." She told him, her voice catching.

"How are the wraps Miss?"

"Great!" She answered a little too quickly, I could tell she wanted him to go too. The monster purred in approval. Mario plastered on a pleasant smile turning to me with a cocky grin. I returned the grin feeling it turn into a twisted grimace. Bella looked at me alarmed knowing I was about to retort in a very unkind manner. "Thank you, we'll let you know if we need anything." She laughed trying to lighten the mood.

My subconscious smiled at her efforts, she was so cute.

I relaxed knowing I wouldn't help by falling for Mario's bait. I knew his type, he wasn't interested in Bella but rather saw her as a way to get under my skin. He was a beta trying to be an Alpha.

_Bitch please._

He sauntered off thinking he won the round making me laugh out loud. _If this had happened two years ago I would have mopped the floor with his self-confidence and self-worth turning him into a shell of a man._ I turned back to Bella, the douche was definitely not worth it.

She smiled when she saw me visibly relax, "that was interesting." Her voice was musical, the relief still washing over her.

"You think so?" I asked feeling the anger dissipate.

_Why the fuck are you focusing on that idiot? You are on a fucking _date _with _Bella_!_ I shook my head, wanting to get out of here as fast as possible. I looked at Bella's plate; she wasn't even finished with her first wrap.

Bella looked down knowing what I was thinking, "let's go." She told me. I shook my head, "no you haven't eaten."

"Edward, our waiter has ruined my appetite and yours, apparently." I looked at my barely-eaten halibut, scowling at my ruined appetite. "I was so looking forward to this." I groaned, feeling somewhat childish.

Bella scowled too, "I'll be right back babe, I'm not going to the ladies' room; if I'm not back in five meet me in the car."

"Uh-" She got up and ran to the bathroom before I could say anything. _Food poisoning?_ I looked at the dishes, _no she would have had to consume contaminated food or drink in the last forty eight hours not ten minutes ago. _She wasn't feverish, nauseous or dehydrated.

I looked to the main windows next to the front entrance, they had an A rating which meant their health standards were up to par the last time the health inspector came in. I thought about inquiring about the date he'd come in but I knew Mario would make things difficult.

In full wannabe doctor mode I figured she just had a full bladder, _we left Forks three hours ago, it was time for her to use the bathroom._

I laughed at myself, all of my professors had warned us first years that we wouldn't be able to see the world the same way again. "Everything will be a bout of the next epidemic, trust me doctors-in-training, be prepared for a lot of unneeded worry and thousands of imaginary patients zero."

"When will this go away?" Some guy two rows from me had asked my Physiology professor.

Dr. Bandari laughed; he took off his glasses as he went on, "a couple of years, somewhere between eight and fifteen." The class blanched in unison, I didn't.

Coming from a medical family, I knew this already. My father still had that initial look of terror every time Alice, Emmett, Bella and I complained of anything beyond a headache. It only lasted for a second but it was still there.

I guess I hadn't been immune to the paranoia like I'd thought. After five minutes of waiting I asked for the bill, making sure to not look at Mario in the face. He was invisible to me now, something that would get under _his_ skin.

I paid with my card making it a point to cross the tip line on the receipt. After waiting another minute I thought about asking to enter the ladies' room to look for Bella. She'd been in the restroom ten minutes.

The paranoia came back but thinking how she would probably kill me for overreacting I decided to walk out. If she wasn't out in another ten minutes I would break down the door.

"Thank you for coming to _The Pacific Anchor._" Mario told me picking up the black book. I grinned over my shoulder, "thank you for the service, the tip speaks volumes." _Enjoy the 5% tip motherfucker._

I walked off knowing he was going to blow a gasket even though I found it somewhat cowardly that I was leaving before seeing his face. I knew that if he looked at me the wrong way one more time I would have lost the thin thread of control I had. I wasn't going to risk that over some macho feeling.

No, I was beyond the physical fighting and found psychological warfare much more rewarding.

Yeah I wasn't any better than that bitch but it was satisfying.

If there was one thing waitstaff absolutely hated, it was getting under-tipped even if it was for a five dollar appetizer.

I sighed regretfully. _I can't come here anymore_, I knew the douche would make it his mission to blacklist me to the staff; and I wouldn't risk the golden rule of not messing with people that handle your food.

I walked out expecting a light rain but found cloudy skies. I went to the side of the restaurant; I could make out the ocean a few blocks away. It was a dull gray, moving in and out of the sandy beach. The salt of the earth took over me, the windy chill opening my eyes.

I had wasted my date with Bella by focusing on a primitive turf war with someone that wasn't even a worthy opponent. My arrogance and overconfidence had won me out yet again.

"Fuck." I whispered as two professional women got out of their car and went into the restaurant. Both looked me over, ogling me as they passed. I gave them no heed and went to my Volvo and unlocking it; I glancing at my watch not forgetting to keep track of Bella.

Just then she came rushing out fixing her bag and grinning to herself, a smug look on her face. I went to her to check for any hidden signs of sickness. My well of knowledge was limited but one semester had indeed changed the way I thought.

"Are you ok?" I took her delicate face in my hands, seeing nothing but color from the cold chill and warm chocolate pools.

"Yeah," she was breathless, her eyes jumped in excitement. "Of course I am, I just needed a moment." She laughed pulling away and opening the door for herself not waiting for me. I scowled but said nothing. I went to the driver's side wanting to know why she'd taken so long. "Are you sure you're not sick? We can stop by Virginia Mason just to make sure you're ok baby."

"Edward," she laughed hugging her bag to herself, I assumed as a way to defend herself from my questions about her personal bathroom routine. "I'm totally fine," she blushed furiously, "I just felt a little sick, I think I ate something bad yesterday."

"Oh?" If I'd been right she would have had to eat something very contaminated for her to show symptoms in less than twenty four hours. "What was it?" I pulled out of the restaurant and drove towards the freeway.

"I'm not sure." She scrunched up her nose, "hey why was Mario cussing you out?"

"What?"

"When I walked out of the bathroom he was bad mouthing you to one of the waitresses that was coming in for her shift." I knew what she was doing- she was changing the subject but not wanting to sound perverse or nosy in her bathroom habits I took the bait. Imagining the douche cussing me out made me laugh, "nothing." I said in a sing-song voice.

"Edward..." She prodded.

"It was nothing, trust me baby." I said laughing a bit more, enjoying the sweet revenge. "I'm sorry about ruining the date," I tensed up feeling ashamed.

She rolled her eyes, "don't worry it wasn't your fault, the dude was looking for a fight. He was the one that ruined it, not you." She said soothingly. I didn't care, I still felt bad and no matter how many times she tried to reassure me, it wouldn't work until I felt vindicated for the date.

"So you're having a movie marathon tonight huh?" I asked, using the same card as she.

"Yes." She nodded.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

~.~.~.

We reached Forks around two making it before Bella's imposed curfew.

"Hey you're back!" My mom greeted us when we walked into the kitchen through the garage. "Why didn't you tell me you would be taking Bella to see Dr. Carter?" She asked me as Bella took off her bag and excused herself tucking it to her chest. _Huh. That's odd._

"It just came up. I didn't trust Bella's truck in the rain." I said going for a peach in the fruit bowl that she had in the kitchen island. "Oh I see." She answered oddly. I turned to her knowing something was on her mind. "What's up Mom?"

"Nothing." She smiled, then suddenly gasping in shock. "What?" I stood up thinking something negative.

"Jasper called two hours ago; he asked you page him when you got a chance, he sounded like he was in a rush." I looked at her quizzically, then thinking he'd had another nuclear fight with his parents I went to my room and paged him using my new alphanumeric pager Dad had given me as an early birthday present.

"Get used to the pager, son. This will be your lifeline when you start working in a hospital."

After sending Jasper a quick SMS message signaling he call me back, I went through the bathroom to look for Bella. I knocked on her door waiting for response. When I didn't get it I tried listening for her. I felt the silence in the room thinking she wasn't there.

I sighed, feeling the disappointment of the date fall into my shoulders. I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror.

The double sinks showed which one was who's. My sink was the one to my left, by my door and Bella's was the right one, naturally. _His & Hers sinks, _this made me laugh at Mom's designing.

She'd been the one to design the house alongside a Tennessee architect, a friend of her family where she was originally from. My dad's parents had bought the plot of land that was now my father's as a wedding gift to them. My father had given her full rein over the building of the house both trusting her instinct and the architect's knowledge.

When I'd asked her why she made a communal bathroom she said it had been a fun idea at the time. I'd resented the thought of sharing a bathroom with a guest but when she'd asked the family how we felt about Bella having a permanent bedroom here I'd jumped at the chance of having her close.

Her sink was neat with her toothbrush and paste next to her moisturizers and a compact, mascara and gloss. Her side had photos of Alice and Rosalie Hale sticking in the corners of the mirror.

It was cute.

I looked at my side, it wasn't as neat and I had more things. A razor stand, shaving cream, aftershave, toothpaste and brush. I didn't have photos of anyone and mused that maybe I should have.

I filed that thought away and decided to take a shower, it would relax me.

When I finished showering I stepped out after toweling myself off not bothering to cover myself up. What was the point? I would step into my bedroom and change in a second.

I thought about all the times I imagined walking in on Bella showering. Hey, who wouldn't want to walk in on their crush as they showered? I'm not the only one who's guilty.

I even tried planning on "forgetting" to knock before throwing myself-hiding the tiny key- into the warm mist and finding a naked Bella covering herself in body wash, sitting on the tub with one luscious leg out as she spread the lucky-as-fuck loofa.

But feeling perverse and ashamed, I'd always chickened out going through a cycle of regret and chastising myself for not following through and missing a great opportunity.

I'd also imagined Bella walking in on me but I never truly saw it happening. That is until she actually walked in on me that day.

I was about to dry my hair when she barged in. I stared at her in initial shock under the towel as she looked at me in similar shock. Her hand on the knob, her feet in mid step.

"Holy fuck!" She screamed, she turned to leave but I stopped her. _What was the point? She'd seen me in more compromising positions._ Her innocence killed me every time.

"Where are you going?" I grabbed her, turned her towards me and asked whispering in her ear as I encased her in my arms. She gave out a tiny gasp. I felt the shiver in her body loving the contact.

"I-I'm sorry for walking in on you, I thought you-you were in the kitchen-"

"Where's Alice?" I whispered running my nose through the crook of her neck, she reflexively extended it to give me more room.

"Gameroom." She sighed into me, her nervousness dissipating and becoming low and raspy.

"Hmm." I connected my lips to her jaw humming into it hoping it coursed through her body. I could feel her heartbeat through her chest. Mine was beginning to pick up, as well another part of me.

I went to her ear grazing downward feeling her shiver around me.

"She's waiting for us." She whispered breathlessly. I grinned loving the sound of her voice when it happened.

"Is she?" I feigned ignorance.

"Yes..." She tried pushing me away weakly but pushing her ear into my lips.

"Hmmmm..." I 'thought' about it.

"Edward." She sighed igniting me as my cock stood at full mast, still angry at not being able to release.

"Yes?" I grinned into her neck.

"Later tonight?" She asked me sounding both turned on and sheepish. I rolled my eyes groaning at how fucking sexy her voice sounded and how she was asking for more.

I grinned feeling an arrow of pure lust shoot through me. "Tonight I'll give you more." I conceded turning her face to mine pecking her lips twice, "and don't forget about explaining yourself for watching porn without me."

"Oh." She remembered trying to pull away, her cheeked flushed and a gorgeous rose making me chuckle, "don't act innocent when it comes to that, angel. You're going to show me too."

"How, if you don't have a T.V in your room." She countered trying to cop out. I laughed rolling my eyes, she still didn't know what lengths I would go to, to get what I wanted. "True, true." I whispered cryptically, an idea forming in my mind remembering my birthday was in two days. "Let's go downstairs, I feel Alice coming up."

It had been long enough and Alice's impatience was very well-known, I knew a few minutes longer and she would be barging into Bella's room looking for her.

"So tonight...?" She asked blushing deeper as I pulled away missing her body heat already.

"Tonight." I laughed freely, loving her enthusiasm. "Trust me."

I meant the last part in a much deeper way than what I was willing to give away.

"Ok." She grinned impishly as her hand ghosted her lips, her eyes roaming my body. Her eyes hooded, the thrill of her checking me out was too much. Her eyes fell on my cock as she bit her lip and then licked it slowly and provocatively.

The image those lips around my member made me groan, it twitched. "Oh." She gasped quietly totally enthralled in me.

The few times she'd looked at me that way, _fuck, _it made me want to pound my chest and fuck her right then and there, the primitive side of me still wanting to erupt from me.

_Not yet._

"Later," I promised grabbing the towel and walking towards my room.

Next thing I knew, I was standing up yelping at the sharp pain I felt, hearing the slap echo around the room.

I turned to her in utter shock, she ran out slamming the door behind her.

_Did Bella Swan just slap my ass?_

Yes, yes she did.

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**I know some of you might not be happy with the date, but try as I might that's how it "wanted" to be written, I do plan to make up for it in the next chapter I promise :D**

**NOTE 1: I've posted a blog where I'll be posting photos, links, music to the story ect it's at ilithyae dot blogspot dot com. (no spaces)**

**Go to it if you want to see the links I've already posted, my last post is having to do with this chapter :D**

**NOTE 2: I want to show a more three-dimensional relationships between Em/R and J/A, and just because I have so much to say surrounding Bella and Edward, Vera has given me the idea to do _You Drive Me Wild_ outtakes; keeping this story as the main one but showing the other facets.  
**

**What say you?**


	16. I Want to Hold Your Hand

**No, you are not seeing double, I realized I posted the unedited version of the chapter hence deleting it; I don't know why I didn't delete the old version in my Doc Manager. To those of you who read ch. 16 in the last hour and a half, there ARE a few differences between the two versions throughout INCLUDING the climactic dialogue in case you want to read it again hahaha. SORRY!**

**~.~.~.**

**I wrote this chapter in record time for two reasons. One, being that I won't be able to write again until after Saturday. I'll be working twelve hours on Black Friday and another eight on Saturday. It hurts just thinking about it D': **

**And two, once I hit a certain point in the story -hint hint- I couldn't stop until I finished ;D**

**Some of you have been asking for this chapter since the very beginning...  
**

**Enjoy ;D**

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The Beatles- _I Want to Hold Your Hand_

* * *

_2003._

**EPOV**

Alice walked into my bedroom door as I put on my old Forks High Senior hoodie with matching sweatpants, knowing I would lounge around for the rest of the day. "Hey." She greeted me walking up to me and hugging me.

"What's up shorty?" I asked a little surprised.

"I didn't see you all day." She responded hugging me closer. I hugged her back knowing what she meant. I'd arrived from the airport with my father in the middle of the night after everyone had gone to bed and took Bella to Seattle as soon as I got up only to spend half the day with her.

I'd completely forgotten about greeting Alice in the morning.

_I'm a horrible brother._

"Bella told me you took her to see Dr. Carter but it would have been nice to see you in the morning."

"I'm sorry Ali, I didn't mean to snub you," I pulled her away so I she could see my face, Alice was a very sensitive person and the slightest comment or action could set her off. "It just happened."

She gave me a tiny smile and hugged me again, "I missed you Tony." I gasped a little, she used to call me Tony to try and be original saying everyone could call me Edward but only she could use the diminutive of Anthony.

She made it a point to call Emmett, Matt too.

"You haven't called me 'Tony' since I was five." I chuckled feeling nostalgia, finding myself upset when I realized that she had to see her two older brothers move away.

"I was just thinking about you two going away and leaving me behind."

"Ali, it took you a year to realize I moved away?" I asked playfully pushing her shoulder. She pouted, annoyed. "Yes but only because I was too busy with Bella and Rosalie and then-" She stopped herself looking away, bright red.

I was used to this from Bella but not Alice. I looked at her quizzically, "and then...?"

"Nothing." She squeaked, eyes practically popping out of their sockets. "Alice..."

"Let's go downstairs, Mom says we need to eat supper before we watch the movies." She huffed grabbing my arm and pulled me out of my bedroom, "Alice you're going to dislocate my arm!" I exclaimed forgetting how fucking strong that pipsqueak truly was. She may have been short and petite but she had unnatural force behind her.

"You father is the Chief of Medicine at the local hospital, I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem if it happened." She told me, rolling her eyes as she pulled me down the staircase through the foyer.

We went to the dining room where Bella and Mom were waiting for us, "there you are." Mom grinned, she stood up and helped Eliza serve dinner; she'd cooked roasted chicken with grilled vegetables.

Mom asked me about New Hampshire and Jasper, "it's all great, I have no complaints other than I've become addicted to coffee and sleep a few hours a day."

"Honey..." Mom pouted.

"The collage life." I said before she launched into a 'You-Shoulld-Be-Eating-Three-Square-Meals-and-Sleep-Eight-Hours-A-Day' speech.

"How's Jasper?" Bella asked taking a bite from her chicken. "He's well." I smiled.

"And Karla?" She asked curiously.

"She's.." _Fuck, how do I get away with this? _"She's great" I sounded very fake.

"You said that with doubt." Alice squeaked.

"Well..." I cleared my throat, "she and Jasper have a very... _passionate_ relationship."

"What do you mean, Edward?" Mom asked me, a little alarmed knowing that I was being polite.

"Karla is awesome and cultured but very jealous." I felt bad for voicing my opinion on Jasper's girlfriend, but I couldn't hold it any longer. Karla had gotten physical with Jasper's female project partners, Maria Escobar and Bree Jenkins saying they were spending too much time with them even though their FYP was extremely important.

"Oh?" Alice asked, quirking her eyebrow and sounding odd.

"Yeah," I ran my hand through my hair trying to wash away the guilt, "she's always checking up on him, arguing with any girl that will even _glance _at him."

"That sucks." Alice said, looking down and playing her food absentmindedly.

"Yeah it does." I sighed heavily. "But Jasper likes her and after they argue they always make up and the cycle begins once again." Bella looked at Alice with an odd expression, making me wonder what was on her mind.

"Have you tried talking to Jasper about this?" Mom asked me. I turned to her shrugging, "I have mentioned her temper but I wouldn't dare get in between them. I may be his friend but I have no right over his love life."

"True," she said thoughtfully, "does Jasper love this girl?" Her eyes went to Alice for some reason.

I felt Alice's and Bella's eyes on me, making me uncomfortable, "I don't think so."

"Has he said anything to you?" My sister asked me suddenly, fire in her eyes.

"No," _what the fuck? _"They're just dating." Alice nodded slowly sitting back, relaxing. "Alice why-"

"The chicken is so moist Esme," Bella interrupted me, she looked to my mother brightly. _Was she changing the subject again?_ "You have to give me the recipe."

"Oh thank you Bella," my mother looked to her, flattered. "Eliza helped me create it a few years ago." She nodded looking to Eliza who grinned appreciatively. "But _you_ thought up the glaze you add at the end, Esme."

I looked at Bella, nonverbally telling her I would ask her about the inturruption later tonight. _Another question behind Dr. Carter's knowledge of us._ She looked at me, utterly terrified making my curiosity flame up.

The conversation turned to Emmett who was interning at a well-known Seattle architectural firm, "he's coming tomorrow." Mom informed me making me smile. I missed him the most, not hearing much of him in the past year other than his calling to congratulate me for finishing my second semester at Dartmouth.

After dinner, Mom told us we were excused to watch our movies and went with Eliza into the kitchen to help her with the dishes. I excused myself and went up to my room to check on my pager.

Jasper hadn't paged me back, disappointing me a little.

Alice came to get me informing me they'd gotten sick of waiting from me and literally dragged me to the gameroom. On our way she twisted around my bicep, "you've been working out?" She asked pulling me again, as we went through one of the back hallways towards the gameroom.

"Yeah." I flexed just to make a point, "Jasper and I work out three times a day." I grinned cockily. She just stared with her mouth open, walking into the corner of the turn into the gameroom. She hit the side of her head with a sharp thud.

"Ow!"

"Alice!" I gasped turning her face to assess the situation. "Fuck!" She yelled shutting her eyes, a defense mechanism from the pain.

Her hand few to the area, "hold on let me see." I pulled her hand away not seeing any blood in both her head and her hand. "Does your head hurt?"

"Er fucking duh!" She screamed angrily. I rolled my eyes, "you know what I mean, anything other than the bump Alice." I tried to hide the impatience in my voice but failed miserably.

"What happened?" Bella walked out looking around worriedly.

"Alice bumped her head when she walked into the corner." I rolled my eyes again not being able to stop myself. "I'll go get some ice." I told them going the way I came. "Ok." Bella nodded taking Alice in the gameroom trying to reassure her by saying it wouldn't bruise.

I got the kitchen in time to see my father holding my mother in a passionate embrace. Memories of their shower activities years ago flashed through my mind burning me.

I cleared my throat awkwardly, they let go looking at me blissfully. _Ugh._

Don't get me wrong, I was happy my parents still loved each other after twenty three years of marriage but like any normal kid who walked in on their parents doing the nasty, I didn't want to ever relive the horror.

"Evening son." Dad told me as he undid his tie, my mother busied herself with getting him a glass of water. I walked to the fridge, "Dad." I gave him a one-arm hug.

"How was your day?" He was trying to sweep it under the rug, I was thankful.

"Good, I took Bella to see Dr. Carter and then we came home; we're having a movie marathon right now." I informed him, idling a little.

"Did you page Jasper?" Mom gave my Dad his glass of water and a napkin wondering why she always gave us a napkin with _everything_.

"Yes." I told her, remembering why he had been trying to reach me.

I took out an ice pack Dad liked to keep in there just in case we ever needed it, Emmett and I used to roughhouse and end up with bruises all the fucking time. I grinned, _it was fun._

"Why do you need the ice pack?" Mom asked me, sounding scandalized.

"Alice bumped her head." I replied dryly, "she didn't look where she was going." I explained knowing Mom would ask Dad to examine her. If my mother was anything, she was thorough.

"Carlisle," my mother turned to him, "examine her please."

"What's your diagnosis, Edward?" Dad asked me, grinning slyly. He was testing me, _alright Dad._ I laughed rolling my eyes, "I examined the patient and I deduce it will only be a nasty bruise if I don't get her the ice pack right now."

"Wrap it in a clean dish towel to prevent ice burn." He told me in his doctor voice. I laughed doing so and walking out.

I made out Mom's last comment, "I'm taking Alice to the hospital tomorrow.":

"Esme-"

"What if it could cause internal damage?" she said defiantly.

When I got to the gameroom I found that Alice, Eliza and Bella had taken out blankets to cover up with during the movies. Eliza tucked a victimized Alice who leaned on a soothing Bella.

_Alice is hogging her_. I pouted as I made my way in.

Mom had designed the gameroom to be big enough to hold at least forty people comfortably. On the opposite side of the sofas surrounding the T.V. Dad had an antique St. George solid oak with Heritage Cherry finish pool table and matching cues. He used it whenever Mom had dinner parties with their friends and would pull away the husbands to play a "friendly" game of pool.

Dad would also throw a Super Bowl Sunday bash, inviting almost every man in town. Chief Swan was at the top of the list always making time to rush to watch the second half of the Bowl even when his team wasn't playing. He and my dad had a long-standing obsession with the New England Patriots.

When they won the Bowl last year against the Rams, they cried for a minute saying it had been because of U2's poignant half time performance in honor of the victims of 9/11.

Emmett and I said nothing and stared at the two most poised men I knew, trying hard not laugh and possibly get arrested by Chief Swan. Deputy Clearwater and Officers Lahote, Ateara and Littlesea took it upon themselves to tease the shit out of them.

Dad also had a similarly etched card table for his poker playing, Mom had stopped his poker club saying she didn't want to influence us into gambling. Dad didn't object but still taught us how to play all types of billiard games without putting cash down.

Emmett was a star pool player but I was a brilliant poker, blackjack and Speed player, Alice picked up blackjack but nothing else, by the time Bella began staying over my mother had banned us from playing billiards so she didn't get a chance to learn with my father.

I walked to the sofa where the girls where and handed Alice the pack, "this'll help, Pix." I offered her the pack, Eliza told me to watch the popcorn tray near my feet. She'd placed the tray on the floor that carried the gigantic popcorn bowl and drinks when helping the convalescent Alice down.

"Alice you just bumped your head, you don't have to be so dramatic." I told her as I motioned to Bella to give me room to sit next to her, placing her in the center.

"Edward!" Alice scolded, "you can sit in the loveseat or armchair!" Pushing herself against the opposite side.

As if I was going to let her hog Bella any longer. The only reason why I'd asked to be included was to tease Bella while she tried watching her crush on the screen.

"True, but you two look so _cozy_." I emphasized, Bella scooted looking sheepish. I lifted the blankets and sat close to her putting my arm on the top of the sofa tucking my right leg under me wanting Bella to lean into me.

She stayed where she was, stiff and cold probably hating me right now for being so 'obvious.' Eliza handed Alice the bowl of popcorn and offered us Coke. I grabbed two glasses before Bella extended her hand.

I gave her the glass, annoyed that I had been faster than her. I grinned not caring that Alice was calling me an idiot, "but you love me Ali." I winked at her, she flipped me off in response.

"I love you too!" I yelled pushing myself closer to Alice pressing myself against Bella, making sure to not move too much and spill our drinks. "Edward sit by yourself if you're going to be obnoxious all fucking night!" Bella yelled at me holding her glass away from me.

"I'll behave." I replied innocently sitting back on the sofa.

"Promise?" She asked me, raising her eyebrow.

"Yes." I tried looking angelic but I knew the grin I was trying to hide was giving me away.

"You better." She huffed turning back to the television. Alice scoffed pressing 'Play' since the tape was already in. "What are we watching tonight?" I asked taking a sip from my drink wishing it had a slight kick.

"First, _Chocolat_, then _Edward Scissorhands _and A _Nightmare on Elm Street_ if we're still awake." She shuddered dramatically, the movie wasn't as scary as it had been when we asked Emmett to rent it a few years ago right when Bella started staying at our house.

I'd sneaked into her bedroom at night wanting to scare her like in the scary movies but ended up paying for it dearly. A nasty bruise formed in my face from her kick but my ego was shattered when she accidentally landed on my junk. My mom had demanded Dad check for damage embarrassing the life out of me. _Stupid Freddy Krueger._

"Aww," I groaned throwing my head against the sofa, "what about _Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas_?"

"Eww no." Alice grimaced, "shush the previews are over." She rose the volume as I rolled my eyes in annoyance, _chick flick galore tonight. Except for _Nightmare_ but still._

Eliza came to me, "good night kids, I'm about to go home."

"Bye Eliza." I whispered back.

"Have a good night." Bella told her as Alice waved, "thank you."

"Welcome back Edward." She kissed my cheek and looked at me and Bella oddly before turning and turning the lights off before leaving the room. We went back to the movie and as I tried really hard to be interested but feeling Bella so close wasn't helping.

The electricity around her and I was palpable and I could sense her alertness even though she was watching the movie intently. "Pass the popcorn." I whispered into her ear, hiding behind the need to not scream. I felt her shiver as she took the bowl from Alice, who was too enthralled into the movie. "Here." She whispered back not looking away from the screen, not because she was interested but because she was hiding from me.

I took a kernel and nibbled on it, thinking about what I would do to get her to pay attention to me instead. Her deep brown eyes looked ethereal in the bright contrast between the darkness and the sharp light of the television, wanting her to look at me.

I looked down at the bowl and grinned. I grabbed a few kernels and shoved them in my mouth loudly, munching on them boorishly.

"Edward!" She grimaced, "you're such a pig!" She slapped me in the chest pushing herself away from me. Instead of hurting me, it turned me on.

"I am?" I asked playing innocent as some of the pieces of corn landed on my sweater.

"Edward!" Alice yelled furiously, "get off this sofa and sit my yourself!"

"No." I said childishly wrapping my arms around Bella who tried pushing me away roughly. I used her as an anchor clasping my arms and feeling her against me; again wishing we were alone and in my room. "I don't want to be by myself." My tone mimicked that of a toddler throwing a tantrum.

"You deserve to be by yourself!"

"Get off of me, you oaf!" I pushed us down onto the sofa, forcing Alice to jump off since Bella and I would be crushing her. My face was turned to the television as if still watching Vianne arguing with Reynaud after their first meeting.

"Motherfucker!" Alice stomped her foot, glaring at me.

"This is fun." I said giddily, still hiding behind my jerk persona. My hands were clasped against Bella's back hidden from view. I took the opportunity to wiggle annoyingly using the movement to hide my snaking into her bare back under her sweater and blouse.

"You fucking jerk get off of me!"

"I'm calling Dad!" Alice ran out angrily, I lifted myself up over the back of the sofa making sure she was gone. "Edward!" Bella fought against me again but instead of retorting I kissed her wildly taking advantage of the brief moment of privacy.

Bella stilled under me as I pulled on her bottom lip with my teeth, and licked it asking her for quick entrance. Without much movement her mouth opened slightly answering my call. I dug my tongue in her mouth caressing hers in between bites. "I want you alone baby." I rasped, part of me aware of outside noise.

Bella moaned grasping my sweater pushing herself into me. "Tell me how brilliant I am." I breathed into her mouth as my hands scraped her the soft skin of her back, I felt goosebumps against my fingers, my cock waking up from its tiny nap.

Bella groaned, slapping me weakly in response to my command. "Yeah I know, I know you don't want to admit it, but I am."

_Where the fuck are you Dad?_

Wait... Did I really want Alice and Dad to walk in on me and Bella on the couch?

_Yes, yes I did._

Before I completely finished my thought I made out Alice's shrieks and three sets of footsteps. Kissing Bella deeply I braced myself for the inevitable.

_Finally._

Bella heard them too finding her power and pushing me off, she looked horrified. I went backwards bending when my back found the armrest. She kicked her feet under her jumping off the sofa.

"Ow." I groaned just as my family walked into the room.

Alice had a look of vindictive triumph, my mother had a stern look on her face while my Dad stared at me blankly. "Edward." My mother walked towards me, "what's this about you bothering the girls?"

"What?" I tried controlling my breathing before answering but my voice came out breathless, "I didn't do anything wrong." Adrenaline was rushing through my body in milliseconds.

"Don't lie!" Alice yelled at me, pointing a finger. "You were smothering Bella!"

"Smothering?" My father repeated, staring at me. I had to look away, his gaze was deep and questioning. It gave me the bad type of chills.

"He was just being a jerk but I talked to him," Bella piped up keeping her eyes on me. She was a violent red, her eyes were blazing. "He apologized and promised to sit by himself from the rest of the night if Alice and I agreed to let him continue watching with us. Right Edward?"

_She's lying Dad. We were making out._

_Like we always do when we're alone. __As a matter of fact we've been doing so under your noses since we were kids but not wanting to ruin the weird balance of our lives, we decided to hide it._

_But I don't want to anymore. I want you all to know that I have feelings for her and I want her to be mine and _only_ mine._

"Edward?" She said my name fiercely, an edge of terror in her beautiful face. I swallowed my anger, changing my plans for tonight.

"That's right." My voice was hard and shaken. The feeling of rejection washed over me, leaving a painful trail. _You still see this as a game, don't you? You still think my kisses are for fun. You don't see that I've fallen for you beyond imagination._

_I've loved you all of my life and you don't see it._

_You don't _want_ to see it._

"Ok then." My mother said, sighing but still keeping an eye on me.

"Edward get off that sofa." Alice commanded wrapping her arms in front of her chest. I got up without a word and sat in the armchair not looking at Bella anymore or my father who's heavy gaze was still on me.

I looked away from him and onto the television where the movie was still playing. Depp had just made his intro.

My parents left, leaving Alice to complain about me. Bella watched me from the corner of her eye as she and Alice covered themselves with the blanket. After a moment, I got up and left without a word. "You're leaving?" Alice asked me gleefully.

I didn't answer, I just went upstairs to my room and locked myself in making sure the bathroom door was locked. I threw myself into my bed, hugging the pillows to me.

I thought about everything that had ever happened between her and I.

The teasing, our first kiss, the kisses thereafter, the way she began responding to me, the night after Christmas, the phone call..._  
_

"Fuck!" I screamed throwing my pillows against the wall, one hit the mirror in front of me feeling mad it didn't shatter into a million fucking pieces.

I heard a small knock in my bathroom door. My heart panged, happy she was there.

"Shut up Benedict Arnold." I whispered through my gritted teeth, talking to my heart. I didn't move from my bed glaring at the bathroom door.

"Edward." Her shy whisper permeating the door.

I didn't speak, I just waited for her to get the hint and leave me alone.

"Please baby let me in." I turned away, getting up from my bed and looking out of the window over my desk. She knocked again, "Edward."

I continued with my silence hearing her sigh in defeat. After a moment I heard her walk out of the bathroom. I sighed, feeling the weight fall on my shoulders. I braced myself on the chair rubbing my eyes with my palm.

I heard her again, making me wonder if she was getting ready to go to bed. Before long I heard a click and I saw my doorknob unlock. I gasped and lunged myself to try and stop her from coming in.

I was too slow.

She opened the door and seeing me rushing, she too lunged herself but to try and beat me to it.

"What do you want Swan?" My voice was solid ice.

"To talk to you." There was steel in hers.

"About?"

"Us."

I scoffed sarcastically, looking away from her. "There is no _'us'_ Swan. I thought you knew that."

"Answer one," she inhaled deeply, looking at me determinedly. "Dr. Carter knows about everything having to do with us. From your bullying, to our agreement to your feelings."

I turned to her in shock.

_So they both knew._

I wasn't surprised at the former. A brilliant psychiatrist like Dr. Carter would have seen my distorted affections in a matter of milliseconds after knowing all the shit I pulled with Bella, _not_ considering the game.

But my suspicions and fears of Bella knowing made my wounds hurt even more.

She didn't wait for me to respond much longer. I wasn't planning to just yet. "Answer two: yes. I was changing the subject again. But I can't tell you the reasons, it's not my place to."

The fact that she could read my mind so well, shook my core. _Was I really that transparent?_

"I _know_ Edward." She took a tentative step towards me, I hadn't turned on the lights so the only form of light was the huge window next to me. Her face was enveloped in the heavenly light, taking my breath away yet again.

_No. I cannot allow myself to get washed away again._

"I didn't want to see it but I know about everything." She told me, looking down in shame. "I was afraid of you." I grimaced, those words hurt the most. "I didn't understand why you hated me so much."

"I didn't hate you." I retorted, angrily. _I felt the exact opposite the opposite_

"I know." She nodded, her voice was calm and soothing, "but I didn't know that then. And then you and I opened this weird door to this equally weird game."

"How the _fuck_ is it weird, Bella?" The rejection was back full swing, burning away like a wildfire did when there was gasoline involved. "Is having feelings for me a fucking abomination?" I yelled turning on my heel, forcing myself to not look at Monroe in front of me.

"Because here we were, two sworn enemies-"

"Not true." I shook my head emphatically, face down and eyes shut. I didn't want to hear it, I hadn't faced the dark side all of these years. _The rejection._ My overconfidence had always been a driving force in my life, especially considering Bella.

I was the hero of the story, she was the heroine. We _had _to be together in the end.

_But what if you're the villain?_ My subconscious asked me, making me shake my head again. I would not accept the evil role, I wasn't evil.

"Edward," her voice was harsh and reproachful, "to me you were."

"But I wasn't."

"To _me_ you were." She stiffened angrily, I turned away even though I wasn't facing her. She was right. "You made my life a living hell and then you wanted me to just accept your advances without questioning your motives. Really?"

"Bella I was stupid." I turned back to her, taking a step forward wanting her to understand me. "I was a kid who didn't know what to do with his feelings. I didn't understand them then."

"I_ know_." She nodded once, the steel back in her eyes. "I also know what you tried doing downstairs." I looked away again. "You didn't even give me a chance to talk to you about it."

"You would have closed the door in my face."

"Not true."

I laughed loudly not believing her lies, "really Bella? You would have said yes to outing our relationship, how ever fucked up it was?" I was mocking her but I didn't give a fuck anymore, my pain was too great.

"At one time no." She sighed looking at the floor, "but if you had tonight, I would have had second thoughts." She whispered, twisting her hands nervously.

_Wait what?_

My heart skipped a beat, my breath caught in my throat and I stared blankly at her. _She would have had second thoughts about keeping our secret?_ My mind tried wrapping itself around the idea of her acceptance but I wasn't going to be stupid again. I wouldn't allow myself.

She knew I wasn't going to respond so she went on taking a deep breath but not meeting my eyes. Instead she glared at my hoodie, "I'd be lying if I told you, I don't feel anything other than lust for you."

_Breathe._

"I get jealous when I see bitches like Heidi hitting on you," She glanced at me, her chocolate eyes were melted and churning. "I wanted to hide you in Carter's office just so I wouldn't leave you alone with her." She rushed out, "I admit that I've been jealous of Tanya for awhile now _not_ just because she's been a bitch to me since she moved to Forks.

It irks me when I think of girls hitting on you and yes," she slowed down going back to my eyes, tilting her head down. "I want to redo our first date since that waiter ruined our first."

My mouth dropped at her confessions. I didn't know what to say.

"It's not just about jealousy." She started a new string, "I love it when you kiss me sweetly, I get butterflies when you do. I feel fire when you kiss me passionately and I respond when your eyes scorch on to mine."

_Fuck._

"I also love it when you talk dirty to me, I crave your touch when you're in New Hampshire and I imagine the ways you can rock my world when I'm in bed by myself."

I felt hot under the hoodie, needing to get it off otherwise I would suffocate.

"I buzz when you tell me how much you love my body with all of its imperfections and flaws." I wanted to answer back but she stopped me. "I don't love you," I took a step back feeling the pain again, the worst wave taking over me. She looked at me in alarm, coming to me and holding my arms, "that doesn't mean I don't have feelings for you."

"But-"

"You've had more time with this baby," she whispered, lightly touching my face with the back of her hand. I reflexively leaned into it, wanting to feel her warmth again. She gave me a small smile when I opened my eyes after closing them briefly, "but give me time to get there. I already want you, I'm sure in time I could come to love you." She looked down, biting her lip but then turning to see me through her lashes.

_She wanted to try._ I swallowed not knowing what to feel. _Say yes! Isn't that what you originally wanted? A chance to show her how much you love her?_

"Where are the others?" My voice was shallow and hoarse.

"Alice is with your mother. Since I came up telling her you'd ruined my mood she decided to scrapbook with Esme in the gameroom. Dr. Cullen is in his study." She asked me, looking upset because I hadn't answered her indirect question.

I nodded once wrapping my arms around her and pulling her against my body taking her by surprise.

"We'll try." I told her with nothing but conviction in my voice, a_nd you will fall for me just as hard as I did for you._

I molded my lips to hers, ravaging her and turning her around, easing her to my bed. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling on my hood as we found my bed. I lowered her into the bed slowly pulling away making sure she didn't fall. I was feeling impatient but I didn't want to be rough. _Not yet._

I connected our lips again pushing her into bed. We bit, pulled and sucked on each other. I went to her neck, loving the feel of her erratic heartbeat against my lips. Her breathing was just as unsteady. Her hands roamed my body tugging on my sweater.

"I want to see you naked again." She whispered into my ear, her breathless, fuck sexy voice shot right through me like an arrow right into my dick.

"Your wish is my command baby." I gasped lifting my upper body but thrusting my erection on the apex of her thighs. I took off my sweater and shirt, throwing them somewhere to my right.

"Mmm." She looked at me lusciously, sending a delicious chill all over me, once again reaching my dick. _Fuck, I love it when she looks at me that way._

She righted herself, her hands roaming my chest taking it in. "You've been working out." She licked her lips again when her hand reached my tattoo, I was loving how open and daring she was being.

"Yeah." I bit my lip, she was stroking my ego and it was working.

"You look good baby."

"Yeah?" I asked, playfully lowering her back into the bed, she giggled; Lust and flirtation all over her face.

"Yeah, you look especially _sinful_," fuck me. She went to my ear, licking me with the very tip of her tongue. I shivered trying hard to control the urge to come right then and there. "I just want to eat you up."

"Fuck." I groaned, closing my eyes as my body thrust into her. She moaned, throwing her head back in pleasure. "You like this baby?" I took over my reflexes and grasped her hips before thrusting a little harder. She hissed, her body trying to find me again.

"You know I do Edward." She looked at me, practically meowing.

The wild kitten was out.

_Yesss..._

"Make me come Edward." She dug into my arms sending a delicious pain through my body.

"You have to be quiet." I told her, rubbing myself up and down her core, feeling the heat through her sweats, I don't know what was stopping me from claiming her other than the need for her accept me.

"I've been practicing." She gasped, moaning in between breaths.

"Oh I know baby," I thrust into her sending her into my pillows and she gasped sharply. "And you're going to show me just how you've been practicing but let's deal with your _first_ orgasm of the night, shall we?"

"How many times do you _think_ you're going to make me come Edward?" She was challenging me. The old, competitive Bella was back. I bit into my lip tasting blood.

Having the tension from all of our battles of wit spill into the bedroom made me yearn for her. It was too much.

I pulled away throwing myself onto the other side of the bed pulling my throbbing dick out. I came after _two_ pumps. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck fuck." I chanted as my insticts took over. I thrust wildly into the air, enjoying the pure pleasure taking over. I saw stars in my line of vision, completely blinding me. Instead of feeling the fire inside of me quell, it ravaged me wanting more fuel. _That was the best orgasm I'd ever had._

Bella scoffed next to me, as I came back to reality, I felt her move beside me before seeing tissues fall into my eyes. "You're always thinking of yourself." I would have thought she was pissed but I could hear the mirth in her voice. I got up and took off my sweats.

"Boxers off Edward." She ordered, I let out a bark of laughter, I turned to her incredulously. "What?" She cocked an eyebrow, challenging me again as her lips turned up in a coquettish grin.

My eyes turned to my Monroe photograph, seeing the same smile on Marilyn, but the latter didn't make me want to yell and scream in utter fucking lust. "As I was saying," she called my attention again, "you always think of yourself Edward. We were talking about how many times you _think_ you'll give me tonight?" She bit her lip, the lust between us had reached a burning, scorching, almost- infernal level. _And I love it._

"You're just so fucking sexy, I _had_ to do that." My breathing trying to calm myself a bit. Without a warning I threw myself on her, making her giggle- it went straight to my dick, again. "How about we set a goal and if I don't reach it, you get to punish me babe?" I whispered into the shell of her ear, looking for the shiver.

"Punish you?" Her innocence came back.

"Yes." Could one come twice in a matter of five minutes. _Yes, yes. One definitely can. _"How would I go about that?" She said, a delicate sigh escaping with her words.

"I'm sure you can think of a few ways..." I was referring to her not allowing me to come by teasing me, but I wanted to see if she could find the answer. If I was going to be her teacher, I wanted to do an exceptional job at it.

"No I don't think I could."

"Did you stop watching porn baby?" I drew on her neck, putting a strand of her hair behind her ear and finding her eyes.

"Well yes but..." My dick twitched at the thought but I kept my cool. She looked down, still surprised at my quick recovery from one orgasm and readying myself for another.

"How could you punish me Bella, if I just came in two thrusts and my dick is already hardening _again_?"

"By..." Her brows knitted adorably, thinking about the connection. After a moment she looked up to me, understanding what I meant. "Oh." She nodded slowly, her lips turning into a cute devilish smirk.

I laughed, bending down to kiss her softly. I caressed her lips, allowing the butterflies to spring free in my stomach. She sucked on my upper lip before asking for permission to enter my mouth. I gave it to her and began feeling the slow climb of the kiss from chaste to passionate.

Bella pulled away suddenly, her eyes alight and enthusiastic. "How many?"

"Hmmm..." I thought about it, enjoying her impatience. Feeling arrogant I thought of a high number, "eight."

"What?" She gasped, her face paled in shock.

"What?" I asked innocently, "you don't think I can?" I looked at her through my lashes.

"No," She shook her head rapidly, "you can, you definitely can." I smiled widely, she was stroking my ego again but this time it was unintentional. "_I_ don't know if I can." She shivered looking at her hands.

"Oh baby, I know you can and you will." I whispered, going for her mouth and pushing her into our bed.

* * *

**I swear on my teddy bear Miel that I've had since I was ten, that I didn't know all of that was going to happen. I only planned up until Edward's childishness on the sofa. I am completely blown away and I hope you guys like this development; I do :D!**

**If you want to see the photos and other links having to do with the story, go to my blog at ilithyae dot blogspot dot com to check them out :D**

**Happy Thanksgiving to all, I thank you again and again for coming along with me on this cute, crazy and sexy ride! ~I.E.**


	17. I Can't Hear You

**So it's been a very busy week and I hated it. It was pointed out to me that I accidentally replaced chapter 6 with chapter 4 (the first EPOV with Alice's birthday chapter) and because of a series of unfortunate mistakes, I lost chapter 4.**

**I know some of you are waiting for chapter 4 but I was having a hard time remembering everything having to do with it- thankfully veraleeon worked with me to piece it back together- I swear I will work on it A-fucking-SAP; I hate having such a huge hole in the story.**

**As per usual, I recommend to have this song on repeat as you read the story ;D (Vera I hope I do your song proud.)**

**P.S. Longest chapter to date, so bear with me. I hope the ending/length of the chapter makes up for the long wait :)**

* * *

The Dead Weather- _I Can't Hear You_

* * *

_2003._

**BPOV**

"Almost there." He grunted somewhere on top of me, "I feel your warmth even through your sweats, Bella." He groaned.

I could hear him but I wasn't listening. I was in my own little world, one where carnal fulfillment was the sole reason for existence. I moaned, lolling my head to the side.

"More." I mewled not controlling my own voice.

"Soon baby, I just need to warm you up." He thrust into me with a definite power, "come on Bella." He coaxed, "I want to see your beautiful face in ecstasy." His words sent me over the edge. The now-familiar wave over took me, sending me up high as a primitive grunt come out of the back of my throat. "That's right." He thrust once again, possessively.

"Oh god." I pounded the sides of the bed biting back the scream. My practicing had helped me control my vocal responses even though I wanted to yell, I couldn't and wouldn't risk it.

"Two." Edward counted sitting back, watching me unravel. His breathing was labored but calm, his glare was intense and unwavering. He gave me a moment to come back to Earth but soon leapt off the bed. I stared at his pale gray ceiling, his lights were dimmed basking his room in a golden hue. _What is he going to do now?_ The voice thought lazily, still gone and high.

I rose my head up and peeked through my lashes, my chest rose and fell in the forefront of my vision. He stood over the bed, naked and glorious; his eyes still on me. "I want to see you Bella." He told me, his voice dark and deep; it sent chills all over my wired body. "Take off your clothes for me."

_Strip for him?_

Hell no.

_Oh come on! Do something out of the ordinary!_

No, I'm not some stripper from Vegas or Reno.

_Do it or else._

What are you going to do? You're me, remember?

_And _you _are_ me.

"Bella." He knew I was thinking about his request, I shook my head not looking away from him and biting my lip. He was insane if he thought I was going to do something so out of character. "We have six to go and I want to show you what I can do to you. Let me show you." He answered, stern and chastising.

I bit my lip further not knowing what to do. I wanted to feel those delicious orgasms with him but at the cost of my self-preservation? Was I really ready to strip for someone? For Edward?

_God, must you always over-analyze every single fucking thing? Do something nuts and unexpected, Edward is your blanket. He'll protect you._

I forgot to mention possible multiple personality disorder to Dr. Carter...

The voice rolled her eyes and turned away, pissed and horny._ Ugh._

"I won't strip for you," I came back to Edward, "but I will take my clothes off… if you give me a moment." I bartered, hoping he would understand. His eyes melted and nodded knowing what I meant.

I took a deep breath and stood up on his bed, turning it into a podium of sorts. I felt powerful and in control as I looked down at him, staring up at me in wonder. I tugged the sleeves of the sweater and took it off throwing it somewhere to the right. I heard him take a deep breath, eyes not leaving my body.

I breathed a shallow and shaky breath. I stepped on the end of my pant and pulled it off revealing my brand new midnight blue panty with matching bra.

Which I was wearing.

I'd bought it thinking of Edward's return, wanting to impress him and hoping to erase possible teasing for the plain white underwear I'd worn last winter.

His hungry eyes raked my now bare legs making me tug on my tight white shirt knowing it wouldn't hide me at all. He growled in response, swallowing and sending him an apologetic half smile I inched my shaky hands towards the edge of my white tee.

The adrenaline and nervous energy pulsed through me, my heartbeat loud and echoing in the side of my throat, wrists and chest.

Ugly red stretch marks.

Love handles.

Disgusting pitfalls in my thighs.

_Don't. Just don't._

Renee's voice overshadowed my subconscious' pleading.

_"You're gaining a lot of weight. Why can't you be more like Alice or Rosalie Hale?... Don't eat all of that Bella! You're going to gain another ten pounds! Don't wear those jeans anymore; they cut into your stomach and I can see your gut... Look how pretty Victoria Redding looks in that skirt. So girlish and feminine, too bad you have cellulite... You look like a boy in those dark jeans and hoodie but there's nothing we can do is there? You seem allergic to diets."_

My subconscious took over, angry and vengeful.

_I told you not to open that drawer._

"Bella." Edward cut into my memories, taking a tentative step forward, ready to come on to the bed with me. "Hold on." I said hoarsely. My throat was dry and arid; I took a moment to remember all of his compliments.

_"You have nothing to be ashamed of; hundreds of millions of women pay equal amounts of money to look like you... so fucking beautiful... you don't know what you do to me baby...You're going to remember...hearing me in your ear, whispering how much I fucking love your body."_

I looked at him, for the first time really taking him in.

He was gorgeous, handsome, manly and devastating- but his physique was nowhere as attractive as his inner beauty. He called me baby, babe, love, darling, gorgeous and sweetie. Those little nicknames were common but they sounded and felt all Edward when they came out of his lips and onto my ears.

I knew that I didn't love him, not yet. His feelings were more advanced and intense than mine, but I knew that the budding feelings I had for him wanted to grow and sprout out.

I just needed to trust him and believe in myself.

And even though I'd promised him to air out our relationship, I knew we still needed to talk about the boundaries and the lines of how we would do it.

Not wanting to delve deep into the nitty gritty, I took a deep breath and smiled widely at him.

_We have to get through six orgasms._

"Sorry," I shrugged lightly, his face was worried and nervous, "old habits die hard."

"Bella." His muscles tensed to begin climbing the bed- _no, not yet._

"Stop." I held up my hand like a traffic cop," he looked at me startled. "I'm back though and we're not done."

"We don't have to do anything Bella, it was very-"

"Shut up Edward Cullen." I rolled my eyes feeling free and happy. "Get ready because I expect you to rock-" I ran my hand down the sides grasping on to my breasts, "my-", fresh adrenaline ran through my veins pushing me further. I shifted my weight onto my left hip playfully- hoping I looked half as cute as I imagined, "world." I winked at him for the first time in my fucking life.

His mouth dropped to the floor, he looked utterly shocked. "You better be up for the challenge Cullen, otherwise you're never going to enjoy all of this." I winked again taking off my tee in a slow and deliberate manner.

_Fuck it all to hell._

"Oh my fucking god." He whispered, his voice becoming low and harsh.

I took off the shirt throwing it somewhere on the floor. He swallowed, his eyes all over my body, not knowing where to land; his cock twitched and came alive in a matter of seconds.

_Yes..._

I bit my lip, rubbing my thighs together as I felt my arousal begin to pool again. Keeping my eyes on him, I snaked my hands behind my back and unclasped my bra. My breasts became slack and jiggled a little after being released from their confinement.

Edward swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. His green eyes were clouded in shock; I giggled loving the stupor I caused in him. He looked behind me for a quick second but came back to me, still gone. _So unlike cocky, Napoleonic Edward..._

I let the straps of my bra fall forward, I bit deeper into my lip feeling sexy; something I had no idea I could ever feel.

Taking a final and tiny breath, I threw the bra away letting go along with the lion's share of my insecurities. I stood tall and brazen on his bed, staring him down as he glued his eyes to my exposed breasts.

Edward Jr. stood at full mast, his features turning dark again.

"Like what you see?" I asked, giggling as I felt my nipples peak and tighten. I stifled a low moan somewhere in my throat.

His sexy glare shot up to my face, his lips curved into a mischievous grin. Young Edward came into view in my mind's eye making me wonder if fourteen year old Edward ever imagined me this way.

"You look divine." He whispered. Goosebumps erupted all over me, ironically warming my blood. "Look at you, Bella." Wonder and reverence dripping all over his voice and face. "Innocence and sin all wrapped up in a fuck-awesome package."

"You like sin don't you?" I asked quietly, behind my lashes.

"Yes I do..." He whispered salaciously, grinning as his left hand ghosting his tattoo.

"Am I as sinful as you Edward?"

"You could be."

"I want to be."

He stepped on the bed, his mattress shifted under me as it took on his weight. Edward's grin became huge and daring, he slowly walked to me.

He stood over me, his body not touching mine but I still felt the undercurrent between us.

He walked me into the wall, I felt my back come in contact with glass, knowing I'd reached the Monroe photograph he'd put up. He still didn't touch me but I felt alive and expectant.

His eyes dropped to my chest, which was rising and falling to the beat of my heart. "Look at that..." He said more to himself than to me, "your breasts are round and perky just as I imagined." His voice came out shaken; I bit my lip wanting to believe him.

"I had no idea your nipples were so rosy pink..." My core contracted at the wonder in his voice, his eyes were wide and sparkling. "Judging by your skin tone, I expected them to be a little paler but I'm glad I assumed wrong."

_Oh god, why were his words so arousing?_

"Stop playing doctor, Cullen and touch me." I said with a challenging tone. He looked up surprised at my words and laughed loudly. "They look so pretty, baby; I can't help it."

I gasped, remembering Renee calling me a tomboy and Victoria feminine and pretty.

Who do I believe?

"Look at them, they're..." he went back to gawking but instead of finishing his sentence he growled playfully. "I want them in my mouth." He bent down but looked up through his lashes, smirking and nonverbally asked for permission.

My eyes grew in shock, surprised at the turn of events.

I knew from Rosalie that guys liked biting and sucking girls' boobs but I'd never taken the act seriously. Now here I was, Edward asking for permission to do so while I tried getting him to get me off.

_Say yes!_

I nodded, swallowing hard and waiting for his lips to connect to my left breast. He grinned quickly going for it.

The sensation of his wet, warm mouth on my tight, cold peak took me by surprise. I leaned against the photograph, partially afraid I might break the glass and lunge it into my skull but the bigger part of me gasped in muted pleasure as he introduced me to a new act.

His right hand took the other breast and started fondling it. "Fuck." I gasped, not knowing what to focus on, his deft fingers or his teeth lightly grazing my flesh. The lightened embers began to smolder deep inside of me.

"Oh god." I moaned, as my body began to climb the mountain. _Fuck... already?_

Edward hummed into my nipple as he took it between his lips, pulling on it slowly. His eyes met mine, boyish lust all over his face. He was telling me to let go. _Too soon._ I only had a limited amount of orgasms with him and I wasn't going to waste one so quickly. I clamped my thighs together, willing my body to slow down.

Edward's eyes darkened as he let go of my breast and blew a cold breath into my wet nipple. Goosebumps erupted again going straight to my core, my breathing hitched as I looked up at the ceiling, reveling in the sensation.

He flicked my nipple with his tongue before going to the right and repeating the same ministrations. His hand tweaked my left, which was tender and awake making me gasp once again. I was climbing again, feeling the embers smolder further, wishing he would touch me _there._

He hummed into my right breast as he pinched my left. When he saw that I was fighting him, he took the nipple in his teeth and pulled again. I gasped loudly, throwing my head into the glass; it shook a bit but didn't fall.

"Touch me." I groaned between breathless sigh, I wanted him to touch me in my most intimate places, not my breasts. He shook his head, keeping his lips on my breast.

"Edward." I moaned, feeling unsatisfied and frustrated. He growled again, becoming rough with my left breast. "Oh!" I threw my head back, closing my eyes. I felt my arousal dampen my panties, I thought about taking them off but I knew now was not the time.

Edward let go of my nipple but began to roll it in between his teeth as his hand mimicked it with my other breast. He gave me the tiniest of kisses in both peaks, eyes darting between my face and my chest.

"Touch me." I told him again, instead of responding he quickened his movements. "Oh god." My legs became weak as I reached the summit, in a matter of seconds I could plunge into the abyss.

Edward growled impatiently as I hit the mark. I felt the scream bubble in my throat but he was quicker. He covered my mouth with his and kissed me passionately. His erection rubbed in the inside of my thigh.

He poured his passion into my mouth, our teeth chattered, tongues warring each other as I screamed into his mouth. My cries came out muffled and muted. He wrapped his arms around me turning me around and pushing me on the bed, our heads at the end of it.

My insides quivered and clamped as his mouth left my now-quieted lips and attached itself to just above my right breast. He sucked and sucked and sucked, I felt an odd pleasurable pain emitting from the area but I didn't complain.

I knew Edward was gone.

He was allowing his instincts to take over as his greedy hands grasped me. My breathing was shallow and hard, he moved from my right breast to my left. I looked down to see a large wet, red mark where his lips had been.

_A hickey?_

He had marked me.

I absentmindedly thought about what he was doing.

_Do I mind?_

_No. No I don't._

My head lolled to the side as I watched him do the same with my other breast. Without thinking further, I plunged my hands into his soft mass of hair, loving the feel of it through my fingers.

Cool silk and smooth satin all in one.

I pushed his head into my breast signaling that I liked what he was doing. He looked up- his eyes were two frozen dark emeralds, his high cheekbones were a light pink and his lips were parted and swollen.

I bit my lip wondering if I did something wrong but when he shot me his typical cocky grin he went back and finished with fervor, biting the mark for good measure.

I moaned at his possessiveness, enjoying him and his feral side.

"Three." He gasped into my ear; he sucked the lobe roughly, wild and manly. My core quivered just thinking of how he looked right that second.

"I'm ready for number four." I turned my lips to his ear hoping I caused the same storm in him. He thrust into the apex of my thighs sending me into a whirlwind of pleasure.

Never had our bodies been so close to each other. My jeans or sweats had always created a barrier between us, but now my thin damp panties didn't create much of a wall.

My body buzzed with excitement but the logical side of me knew it was too early to think of penetrative sex. _I_ wasn't ready and _we_ as a couple hadn't reached that level yet.

I put my hands on his shoulders and pushed him away a little. "Slow down baby." I gasped, the residual pleasure ebbing away.

"I'm sorry." He told me, hugging me to him, "I lose control of my body when I'm with you."

"I know baby," I pulled away taking his face in my hands, worry all over his angelic features, "let's just have some fun ok?" I smiled, hoping to reach a compromise.

"It won't happen again." He promised me giving me a chaste kiss on the lips.

"How about a number four then?" I asked, lowering my voice and wishing I sounded seductive.

"Coming right up." His voice was back to being bright and sexy, "literally." He grasped my hips and spun us around so I was sitting on top of him. I gasped.

"I love seeing you in nothing but panties, baby." He told me as he rubbed my core up and down through the fabric. I gasped remembering December, my body was ready and willing. "But I want to see you totally naked." He found my clit and rubbed furiously. "Oh god!"

"Shhh..." He told me not slowing down. "You don't want my family to ruin our fun do you, love?" His voice was elfish and teasing.

"Bene-" I gasped, "dict." He rubbed harder knowing what I was thinking and calling him out on his joke, "Ar-" he dipped his hand inside of me, slowly easing his index finger inside of me. I gasped again, feeling an odd sense of pleasure but mostly panic. "Edward!" I scolded through my breathing.

"Don't worry Bella," his voice was erratic and quivering, "I won't go deep, I just want to drive you crazy."

I gave out a guttural groan, dropping my arms on his chest letting my weight fall on him. My past insecurities of this were long gone as I tried to fathom what I was feeling and how I felt about it.

He didn't push his finger in, he entered me slowly once, twice, thrice when finally he let go. "So fucking wet, warm and tight." He whispered painfully. "I want you so fucking bad…" He panted.

It felt wrong but right at the same time, when he'd been inside I wanted him out but now that he was outside I wanted him _in._ And I wanted _more_. "You suck." I groaned knowing he knew I would be wound up.

"Yes I do." He effectively began to suck on his glistening finger, eyes on me as his long tongue snaked all over it. He hummed into it, his dark eyes becoming that much darker.

His actions were so… forbidden.

_Sin incarnate_.

My mouth watered and the brief thought of how I would take passed through my mind. Shaking it away, I slapped his arm playfully, "don't do that again Edward."

He nodded, "not unless you ask."

I rolled my eyes shifting on him, "you left me hanging on four." I pouted like an errant child. He grinned going back to my sex, after a few more seconds I was bouncing- he held on to me, not wanting me to leap off him.

I had the control to stifle my screams, allowing an odd yelp to escape my lips. Stars and sparks blinded me, making me wonder if I'd gone crazy.

"Good." He noted as he pushed my panties off, I felt him take them off but I was too gone to really do much about it. My body was becoming tired and heavy. "No, no, no. We have three left Bella. I'm not done with you." He scolded me as I tried to pull away.

I felt naked on top of him, wondering if I looked ok under the dimmed golden light. _How dumb of you, thinking of something so superficial when you're trying to recover from your fourth consecutive orgasm._

"Fuck." Edward muttered under his breath and under me. I looked up through my buzz to see his eyes once again flooded with wonder and lust. "You're perfect." I tried covering up, not believing him but he held on to my wrists, "no." His voice was hard now. "It's true Isabella."

_Fuck. I'm in trouble._

"You don't believe me?"

I didn't look at him; I just stared at the line of delicate hair down his navel. The cut of his abs looked more pronounced under muted lighting. "Bella." I bit my lip not wanting to hear it from him.

He gave out a heavy sigh. I felt him shift underneath me, I peeked at him watching him look towards the mirror that was directly in front of us. _Oh, that mirror..._ I shivered remembering the last time I'd faced that mirror.

Edward came back to me grinning. "You are to look at yourself as I pleasure you, Isabella." His voice was stern and formal. _What the fuck?_ I cocked an eyebrow in question and he grinned at me, "you can call me Professor Cullen for the rest of our session Miss Swan." He winked shifting again, planting his hands on my bare ass pushing me towards his face.

_What?_

"Mmm... so soft..." His hands caressed my cheeks, I warmed up wondering if he felt the cellulite but I didn't ask. I was still wondering why he was pushing me towards his-

_Oh!_

His warm breath hit my core in a delicious way.

"I'm going to feast on you baby, like a starving man eating his first meal and you are going to come not once but twice." He told me and he palmed my ass, his voice hummed against my tenderness making me squirm already.

"Ed-" I was in complete shock, I hadn't expected this.

_Liar. Remember what he said in his car before our date and then again during it?_

I thought about what the voice was saying. The memory of being in his car came into view, _"you eat right now, and I'll eat tonight..." _and then at the restaurant "_I definitely want one of your wraps- your legs _wrapped_ around my neck_."

Oh.

_Duh. _The voice shook her head in disappointment, mocking my naïveté.

"Um."

"Watch the mirror, do _not_ look away." He ordered me as his lips connected to my lower ones. I gasped sharply, utterly shocked at the new sensations I was feeling. _Holy fuck._

Edward hummed in appreciation, making me jolt again. His fingers clutched on to me forcing me down further into his mouth. He hummed again, I threw my head back, a low groan came out not sounding like myself.

Edward twirled his lips around my labia never coming into contact with my pulsing clit. It was wired to him now, wanting him to touch it. "Edward... oh fuck..."

I felt him smile into me but kept kissing _around, _sucking and licking.

"Oh god." I wanted to pound his chest in frustration, he was sending me into a fucking tornado once again, but this time it was more intense and powerful than before. I was afraid of getting lost and torn apart.

"Look up." He growled as he took a deep breath, breathing me in.

I gasped not looking at the mirror but at the sexual god that was below me. His hair was messy and glowing, his eyes were closed and his face partially hidden under me. What I could see of his face reminded me of someone eating the most delicious and enticing morsel in the planet.

Indeed, he was feasting. He was feasting on _me_.

The urge to stand straight and grind my hips into him overtook me, he moaned into me, right into my clit, "fuck!" I gasped between teeth. The wave of pleasure was quick and amazing but it only misted me.

_I want more._

I found a steady rhythm with him and watched his face as his eyes opened, they were angry but I didn't care. I wanted to watch him enjoying his pleasure and raising mine, totally forgetting about my gratification.

He slapped my ass, making me yelp in surprise, _what the fuck?_ I looked at him shocked, he grinned winking at me. "Shower." He told me quickly going back to me in a nanosecond.

_Oh._

I giggled remembering my sudden act of coquettish playfulness. "You're not looking up." He growled again, "I like watching you." I told him as I began a slow dance with him.

He grinned into my lips, taking my clit between his teeth and elongating it much like he did with my nipples. I bowed away, my body thrashing and groaning at his movements. His hands dug into my flesh holding me to him. His tongue swerved around me, nibbling and sucking.

The climb was quicker than before but steeper and treacherous. "Look up. Look at yourself and the perfection that you are." He instructed me, his voice laced with angry passion.

"Make me come."

"Only if you keep your eyes on the mirror."

"Edward." I griped, wanting to keep my eyes on him.

"I can stop right now if you want." He told me as he pushed me off. I clasped my legs beside his head loving the silkiness of his hair on the inside of my thighs. I know he was bluffing and I took the bait without a second thought. I didn't want to risk it. "No, I want to finish."

"Do as I say and we will." His tone was definitive and unwavering.

I pouted annoyingly and looked at the mirror, I was totally naked; my body flush with color which I could make out even in the dull golden light. I was upright, square-shouldered, love bites right above my areolae, my hair loose and flowing.

I looked to him under me- I could only make out the top of his head, his beautiful hair all over.

I hated the view.

I wanted to see him, not me.

"Watch how stunning you look, the way your face contorts as your body finds release." Told me as he skimmed his nose down my sex, I gasped at both his words and the anticipation.

"I could watch you all fucking day." He told me and taking me again with his mouth. "Come." He told me as his tongue licked and rubbed in all the right fucking places. I thrashed again but he was ready for my reaction. His hands held me in place as I felt his lower body start thrusting up and down.

His instincts were taking over again but I trusted him. "Come on baby." He spoke into me sending a shock through me. I bit my lip killing my vocal release.

The acrid taste of iron laced my mouth as I climbed the mountain. "Oh god, oh god, oh god!" I chanted, my heart leaping into my chest, the rest of the blood inside of me rushed to my core, my body began to sing when I felt myself reach the fucking peak and throw myself head first into the delicious, scorching inferno of my orgasm.

My body pulled away from Edward, wanting to remove itself from the intensity but he didn't let go, he kept on biting, licking and sucking without mercy. His lower body became maniacal in its own movements.

He growled in pain under me, sending me into a second sharper and quicker orgasm.

_I wasn't done with the first..._

Oh god it fucking _hurts_...

"Oh god!" I screamed not being able to control my loud screaming; he pushed me off again onto the bed and once again covered my screams and frazzled movements with his body. "That's right baby." He said.

His voice was strained and husky, "I am a god and you are_ my_ goddess." He told me in between kisses or rather bites. "I am the fucking king of the realm, you are _my _queen and you shall stand by my side. _Always_."

He took my mouth in his and kissed me like he'd never done before.

Edward Cullen had always been passionate but even when he'd stolen our first kisses he'd always stayed on the line. Never crossing it and keeping me close but at arms' length.

He'd been possessive, sweet, coercive, persuasive, intimidating but the way he kissed me right then, it stirred something inside of me. I felt both overpowered and in control of the realm he spoke of.

I was drunk on both lust and power and I wanted more.

_More._

I poured myself into the weird power struggle kiss, my hands going all over his body, dragging my nails over his skin. _Mine._

I found myself on my back, his body over mine feeling his thick erection on my thigh. His lips were feverish and unhinged, his hands- like mine, were all over.

He grasped, pinched and rolled my breasts; his hands wouldn't stop for more than a second though. As soon as I felt him on my chest he was suddenly running his hands down my spine, and up my thighs.

He reintroduced his mouth to my breasts, biting them roughly as his hands reached my core once again.

"I love it when I do this to you." He showed me four drenched fingers, "I can't wait to be inside of you." He sucked again, his own personal ambrosia. "I'm going to make this quick baby. I want to tease the fuck out of you but I _need_ to find release, if I don't I might combust right now."

Before I could fathom his warning his fingers were on me again, rough and uncompromising. My body was exhausted and it was almost painful to go through with the sixth orgasm. But even through the cloudiness I enjoyed his rough play.

In seconds I was coming into his hand, a flood of liquid all over his hand. He must have known this would happen because he curved his hand and sucked all of the liquid that fell into it, when he finished he attached his lips to me again and dried me up.

This was so erotic and overwhelming I found myself on a tiny hill but just as intense as the jarring mountain from before. I screamed into him as he licked up every single drop my body produced.

My heart was about to jump through my throat and out of my body, my muscles were sore, my veins were protesting and my brain was still trying to take in orgasm number five.

I gasped, drowning in air, feeling dizzy and painfully satisfied. He kissed my core twice, pecking my clit and my entrance before pulling away and sitting on his heels.

His mouth was glistening with my juices, a huge vainglorious smile cut through his beautiful face.

"You…" I reached out for him, he came to me in a second, "are…" He grabbed my extended hand coming down close to my face, "amazing."

He laughed indulgently; it was a new thing for me to volunteer any kind of compliment to him. "You are equally amazing, love." He told me delectably kissing me on the nose and then in my lips. Slow but still burning.

I tasted myself on him, surprised that it didn't disgust me, if anything it made the kiss that much more erotic.

My heart fluttered, the voice was wasted on sexual satisfaction. I was glad.

I hummed into his lips, he smirked pulling away. "I was kind of hoping you would punish me." He pouted, looking down at his erection.

"Isn't that why you hurried the last two?" I laughed, feeling my chest groan in pain.

"Somewhat." He blushed looking at me, meekly.

"The deal was if you _didn't_ reach the eight I wouldn't allow you to get off."

"I know but I would have felt selfish if I'd stopped and got myself off." He looked down, giving me a tiny smile.

Instead of answering him, my brain heard only the last three words. Memories of Tape A from Emmett's porn collection came into mind and the guilt of Edward helping me reach the peak when he's always the one to do it to himself. I looked at my hands twisting them, I bit my lip- an idea forming in my mind.

I took a deep breath.

"What's up babe?" He took my chin and lifted it delicately, his eyebrows were knitted together.

"Um..." I gave out an uneven breath; _I've been the one who's selfish, not you._

"Bella?"

"Can I help you with that?" I couldn't look at him in the face as I asked him that, I looked down at my hands, my hair cascading over my face.

"Can you help me with what?" His voice was both amused and confused. I shut my eyes tightly feeling my pulse quicken but out of nervousness rather than sexual gratification.

"With..." My voice was thick with hinting. I raised my eyes slowly, my eyes met his long toned legs, up towards his erection. I could see him cocking his head to the side trying to decipher my words when he righted himself, "oh." He gasped, utterly shocked.

"No way, no way." He pulled away, hands up and shaking.

The bitterness of rejection hit me but anger overtook me. "Why?"

"I don't expect you to do _anything_ in return for what we do," he stood up and walked to the bathroom door, facing me. He sounded hurt and upset.

I thought it stupid since he was the one rejecting me.

"Edward it's only fair-"

"No."

"Edward." My voice was stern and stiff. I stood up with as much grace as I could muster and walked to him. He pushed himself against the door, "you've given me so much right now it's only fair I help you out."

"No." He shook his head vehemently, "this isn't like with Tanya." His words cut me but I ignored the sting. "It was nothing but sex with her even if we didn't reach the end," he added wryly, "but I swear Bella, you are better than that."

"I know I am," I was fucking angry at his rejection, his memory of Tanya and his belief that I saw him as a piece of meat like that bitch.

"But I want to reciprocate." I felt the old competitive fire inside of me fueling me further. I put a hand over his left shoulder next to his throat. I smiled when I met his tattoo but went back to his face.

"Bella."

"Stop it, Edward." I felt my blood boil and my voice rise, "you are going to let me do this and you are going to love it." I don't know if my ego was talking or if my need to prove to him that I could be as dirty as Tanya sans the sluttiness.

He swallowed hard, staring at me stupefied and frozen. Memories of the times he'd done this for other more maniacal reasons came to mind, I would take my sweet revenge slow and steady.

I gave him a small smile trying to calm him and feeling powerful, he swallowed again his dark jade eyes not leaving my face. I inched forward keeping eye contact and kissing him in the throat. He let out a sigh closing his eyes as my lips made contact.

"Eight times Edward." I mused quietly. "That's a lot of dedication isn't it?" My voice was not mine, it was my subconscious speaking. She was in control and enjoying every second of it.

He sighed, visibly shaking; his hands were limp by his sides- he was under my weird spell ready and willing.

"You learned quite a bit from the bitch." My voice was cool and detached as I ran my right hand down his right arm, his taut skin alight with shivers under my fingers. His breathing hitched, he closed his eyes swallowing again. "You won't answer me?" I tutted, my eyes raked his throat landing at eye level right above his shoulder. His tattoo stared at me, cocky and proud.

Still tracing his right arm I lifted my left and did the same with his tattoo.

"Fuck." He whispered, his head bowing forward, his soft hair tickling my neck and clavicle. _Who knew I held this power? I certainly didn't._ I thought giddily but pushing such condescending thoughts away.

"I love your tattoo Edward." I whispered into his ear, still tracing. "It's so _you_." He shuddered not lifting his head, "but you're not the sinner you make yourself out to be, baby." The words were out before I could stop them. "You are a mischievous angel," he moaned lifting his face, his hair grazing my skin and sending a shot of lust into my exhausted core.

It was painful to feel my insides stir but enlightening me just the same.

His stormy eyes met mine, he was panting and wanting looking the part of the bad boy cherub. I grinned taking my chance and wrapping my hand around the base of his manhood.

"Oh fuck!" He screamed throwing his head back, as if I'd electrocuted him.

"What was that Edward?" Amusement all over my voice, squeezing once.

"Oh Bella." He groaned, his hips thrust into my hand.

"Tell me what to do, Professor Cullen." I instructed him, the laughter in my voice did not waver.

"Lick your hand." He panted, hips moving into my hand, his eyes were closed shut. _That won't do. _Before I could say anything else I licked my hand slowly but he didn't look at me. Instead he just tried to calm himself. _That won't do either._

I went back to his erection slowly gliding my now wet hand. He hissed, his knees giving out on him. He leaned on the door for support. "You like this, Professor?" My voice was thick with fake innocence.

"Oh baby." He groaned as his hips went back to thrusting into my hand, telling me at what pace to go. I met it and we moved together, "look at me." I told him, angry that he wanted me to look at myself but he had the right to close his eyes.

He opened them immediately the green in his eyes had turned pitch black, his breathing was labored, lips were swollen and hair -as always, everywhere. He looked stunning.

"I-I..." He gasped, his breathing becoming erratic and sharp.

"I can't hear you Edward."

Before he could finish his sentence his body bowed off the door heavenward, his face lifted, eyes closed shut as he reached his peak. I pumped harder, knowing that I needed to be gentle with the tugging.

_Porn videos were very educational,_ I thought ruefully.

He groaned loudly, his breath was coming out in wheezes; his cock twitched a few times making me realize my hand had become wet and sticky. I pulled away staring at my hand not knowing what to make of it.

_His juices. _I thought absentmindedly. _Huh._

I wasn't going to taste him so I decided to drop my hand and wait for him to come back to me before washing it away. I turned back to Edward who'd fallen back to the door in a heavy thud, still looking at the ceiling, his eyes closed.

"Breathe baby." I told him, he was panting as if he'd ran a marathon, swam from Cuba to Miami and was recovering from a near-drowning. I grinned remembering how I'd felt that last winter. _I'm glad I can do the same to him even with Tanya in his past._

His eyes opened slowly, he was controlling his breathing once again but he still looked out of it. His eyes stared into mine with unbridled passion and marvel.

I gave out a tiny gasp, my core and heart gave out at the same time.

He was magnificent.

"You are going to kill me." He told me between heavy breaths. I looked down, feeling sheepish and exposed. He came to me a little sluggish but determined, "I told you not to look down when you're with me." He lifted my chin and kissed me lightly. The voice swooned and fainted leaving me alone to deal with the aftermath of what she caused.

I got up and went for the bathroom, "Bella?" I turned around to see his face twist in hurt. "I need to wash my hands." I told him showing my hand. His face smoothed out and a cute look of bashfulness took over his sharp features. "Oh." I gave him a reassuring grin.

When I came back to the room, he stood up still shaky but able. I went to him, he took my hand and tucked me into bed grabbing the comforter from the floor before doing so. "Let's sleep."

"I should go to my own bed, what if they-"

"No," he pushed me gently back into his pillows, "I'm going to set the alarm to five in the morning that way we have time to talk and you can sneak into your room with time to spare."

I blushed knowing the inevitable was coming in a few hours. I looked at his alarm as he set it. The clock told me it was past eleven. _Wow, we retreated early..._ So much had happened not only in the day but after I came into his bedroom. It was hard to believe he and I had been cooped up in his room for only five hours.

_It feels like longer..._

"There." He said brightly, he came to bed making sure my back laid on his chest. Taking my hand in his, he wrapped his leg in between my legs and hummed into my ear, "I'm glad you came up." He whispered referring to my plea to give me a chance.

I smiled ruefully staring at the right side of his room, "thank you for being understanding."

"Thank you for putting me in my place when I deserve it."

"Thank you for being patient with me." I knew this was turning into another one of our matches, he chuckled sounding free and light. He squeezed my hand but kept us where we were.

"Thank you for giving me the chance to make it up to you."

"Thank you for the orgasms." I grinned wickedly.

"Thank you for _the_ orgasm."

"Thank you for keeping me on my toes." I meant both as a sparring partner and a sexual one.

"Thank you for-"

"Edward." I laughed rolling around and facing him, "this could go on forever." I wrapped my arms around his neck lying on his chest. He sighed holding me to him tightly.

"I promise this is the last one." He rubbed his nose up and down my throat making me giggle. I rolled my eyes knowing he wasn't going to drop it. "Ok, last one."

He pulled away, a blazing fire in his eyes, "thank you for forgiving me." I stared at him open-mouthed, he'd tried to sweep our past under the rug before but he'd never been so earnest. I smiled hugging him fiercely, "all's fair in love and war." Once again, my filter was absent and that came out without prior thought.

He returned the hug and we soon found sleep.

~.~.~.

The alarm blared somewhere on my left, _no._ I groaned hiding behind the covers not wanting to wake up. _Why is it on my left though? Isn't my alarm clock on my right night table?_

Early morning news radio greeted me with its fake cheerfulness.

_"Good morning Washington State! This is DJ Mary J coming to you live from KEXP 90.3 in Seattle, where music matters. We have another wet day, wetter than yesterday; the storm will reach as far as the Canadian border so I recommend everyone keep warm and fuzzy today preferably with a significant other if you've got one. But if you don't, I'm sure you can find a nice warm blanket-"_

"Ugh." A deep groan next to me made my eyes pop open, I got up flinging the fluffy comforter away from my face. Edward reached out to his clock and punched it turning off the annoying voice of DJ Mary J. _Thank god._

"So early." I groaned turning back and trying to sleep.

"Nuh uh uh," he uncovered me sending a cold chill down my naked spine.

"Edward, what the fuck!"

"Sorry baby but we need to talk before you sneak back into your room." He told me, holding on the comforter.

"Fine, fine," I regrettably gave in, "but I want my nice warm blanket." I pouted quoting the chipper, caffeinated radio dj.

"I'll keep you nice and warm after we talk." He whispered suggestively as he wrapped his strong arms around me. I giggled again, feeling a different kind of chill down my spine and remembering all of the fun memories we made last night.

"I love it when you giggle." He kissed my neck adoringly. He hummed making me squirm under him. "Too early." I told him as I pulled away and looked for my clothes.

"Awww..."

"I want to find everything now that way I don't forget anything when I leave. I don't want Eliza to find my panties under your bed." I found said clothing and tucked them into the pocket of my hoodie. I pulled it over me not bothering to put on my bra and shirt. I placed them at the end of the bed and put my sweatpants on last.

I came back to a begrudged Edward who was making it a point to pout like a little boy who'd been refused Christmas and birthday presents. _Which reminds me..._

"What are you doing for your birthday tomorrow?" I needed at least three hours to pull the surprise I'd been planning.

_And don't forget to buy his present when you're at work today! _I made a mental note at the voice's advice knowing she was right.

He blinked twice as if forgetting about his birthday. He shrugged noncommittally "have breakfast with the fam, go to Seattle with Emmett and come back for my birthday dinner." He cocked his head to the side.

I blushed looking down at my hands, "Just wondering." I whispered shyly. He lifted my chin up, "what did I say about the face?"

"That it's ugly?" I grinned trying to not sound like a petulant child.

"Quite the opposite baby." He came forward to kiss me but I pulled away, horrified. "What?" He asked me alarmed and nervous.

"I haven't brushed my teeth." Edward's face fell and then he chuckled shaking his head, "I don't care about that, Bella."

"I do." I huffed pulling away from him and sitting on the unslept side, it was cold and chilly. He and I had slept close together on his side of the bed, the thought made me blush.

He groaned, frustrated as he ran his hand through his hair, he went into his night table drawer and pulled something out. _A condom?_ I blanched feeling both panicky and excited. When he opened his hand, offering me the object my face fell when I realized it was a stick of gum.

"Here."

I took it, chastising myself for such dirty, "unwelcome" thoughts. _And then you yell at me for having the dirty mind, when it's you!_ The voice yelled at me with a victorious laugh.

I thought you said you _were_ me.

_Shut up, that's not the point._

Ignoring my near-psychotic argument I took the gum and chewed slowly. Edward took one himself and after a moment spit it into the wrapper, balling it and throwing it into his trashcan.

"Ok Michael Jordan, we all know you're great at b-ball." I did the same but got up to throw it away. He winked at me from his bed not saying anything. "I haven't seen you play in a while though." I mused thinking to his high school days and how he and Emmett used to play one-on-one.

He shrugged, "I like sports but I only do it to get rid of excess energy."

I nodded, my mind going back to other ways he can get rid of that excess energy.

"So," he began, his tale-tale sign he was wanted to talk about something serious. The atmosphere turned heavy and quiet, "where do we stand?"

I looked at the ceiling thinking about what he meant and where I was emotionally. "I told you last night I like you," I blushed at the memory and at how odd it felt coming out and saying it, he nodded once- eyes on me. "I just want you to understand that your feelings are stronger than mine."

"I've known that all along."

"I know but I want you to hear it from me." I looked at him, hoping he saw the sincerity in my voice, "I don't want to hurt you."

He shook his head wryly, "you've given me a chance, you've done everything but hurt me."

"In the future, I mean." I added quickly, I took his hands in mine holding his gaze, "please understand."

"I do Bella." He grasped my hands holding me to him. "and I'll wait for you. I _know _you'll catch up, I just know it." I pulled away sighing.

"As far as people knowing..." I bit my lip preparing myself for armageddon.

"I want to tell everyone."

We'd reached the crux of the issue. I thought about how I would tell him the truth and not hurt him, "I want to stop hiding but we can't. Not yet." His face fell, devastated and pained. I grabbed his hand, "think about it Edward. Everyone's eyes will be on us, not giving us a chance to get to know each other."

He tried pulling away but I didn't let him, I held on tightly. Too tightly but I needed him to understand. "I can't stand the spotlight, if we come out and tell everyone 'hey we're together now' they are going to spaz out and stare at us like we're some freak show at the circus."

"Let them stare, who are they to judge?" He asked me, angry and upset. "They don't know a_nything._"

"True, but you know I hate attention, I wouldn't like it all." I pursed my lips, crossing my arms.

"Bella-"

"No Edward. Give me time to get to know you as a more than my nemesis and rendezvous partner. I don't want the eyes of the town on me," I was being stubborn but so was he.

"I fucking hate small towns." He growled, jumping off his bed and landing beautifully on the floor. He rummaged around and put on his own sweats having them hang low on his hips. He turned to me, "if we lived in a city we wouldn't have issue of people asking questions."

"Even then, our friends and family would wonder."

"It's not the same; they have a right to know to some degree. But the lady down the block or the man from Ivy Street have no right to ask." He was generalizing but I understood what he meant. It was both a curse and a blessing to live in a close-knit small town.

"Don't worry baby," I got up and met him, "once I move to New York it'll be easier; even if you're five hours away." He stared at me in total shock, "New York?" I cocked my head to the side, didn't I tell him I want to go to TCIA?

_No you didn't bitch! You were trying to change the subject and all that fucking jazz!_

I blushed looking at the floor, "um... yeah... I want to go to the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, New York." He gasped, "it's a world-renounced culinary institute and it so happens that Alice and Rose want to go to Parsons in the city." I laughed nervously.

"You'll be five hours away..." His voice was soft, his eyes unfocused and looking to the floor.

"I really want to go there..." _You could have chosen Le Cordon Bleu in L.A. but you chose the east coast! Admit it, Admiiiiit it!_ I blushed at the thought of admitting it to him that I also thought about being close to him when I chose between colleges.

I would know my scores in a week and then I would decide what to do from there. I just really wished I could go to New York for three different reasons. The chance to study in such an amazing and accomplished school, to be close to Edward and to share my collage experience with Rosalie and Alice.

I didn't want to admit it to myself that Edward had been a driving force in my choice but I'd stopped fighting myself, I hadn't realized I was tired and exhausted from doing so. I tremendous weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

"I hope you get in." He nodded, holding me to him. "You are a bright girl, you can do it."

I laughed surprised at his conviction, "thank you." I kissed his cheek tenderly, meaning it. He pulled away, his eyes shining, "do you want me to tutor you? We have a study session while I'm here."

I rolled my eyes, "I took the SAT's two weeks ago. I'll know my scores in a week."

"Did you opt to have the scores sent to the colleges?"

"Yes." I nodded feeling dread. If I scored low they would know first-hand and write me off forever without so much as a second try. Edward nodded brightly, "great, that'll make the process quicker."

"I'm scared though."

"Why?" He scowled, "you always came in first or second of the class." I flushed looking at the floor, "how did you know?" He scoffed playfully, "small town baby, that and my Mom loved mentioning her children's accomplishments." I buzzed at his words, Esme saw me as her daughter.

I grinned feeling light and airy.

"We can't date then." I winked turning on my heel. He blanched turning to me and spinning me around, "why?"

"You and I share a mother." _You are fucking morbid did you fucking know that?_

"Bella don't be like that." He winced, uncomfortable. "You know what I meant."

"I do." I nodded laughing, and feeling oddly vindicated that I was included in their family, even if it was as an honorary member. "Don't play the incest card, we may have grown up together but I never saw you as a sister."

"And I never saw you as a brother but for very different reasons. Mine were much darker and reproachful."

"Ouch." He winced, "but touché." I chuckled, holding on to his hand, "going back to the issue," his eyes became serious again, "let's keep it this way for now. Please?"

He twisted his lips in heavy thought, I knew he wanted to say no but I hoped he would agree, "I..."

"Please?"

He let go of my hand and pulled on his hair in frustration, "alright but you owe me big time."

My eyebrow shot up, "how so?"

"You have to come into my room every fucking night for the rest of my vacation," _oh._ "no exceptions." He was dead serious. "How am I going to do that?"

"You tell me." He told me crossing his arms defiantly. "I also expect you to accept my hidden advances in front of everyone- kisses, hugs, you name it." _What? _"Oh." He remembered something, something that made his playful teasing voice come back, "and you have to show me the porno you watched without me."

"Edward..."

"Take it or leave it."

I twisted my lips, annoyed that he was driving such a hard bargain but I knew that what I was asking was harder and more unfair than his compromise. "Fine, you've got yourself a deal." I extended my hand, to try and show that the business undertones of our exchange weren't lost to me.

He beamed taking my hand and shaking it before kissing me and pulling me to the bed. I pulled away looking at the time, it was about to be six and I knew the Cullens were about to stir, that is if Dr. Cullen wasn't up and getting ready for work already. "I have to go to my bed and sleep in it for a bit." I looked at Edward apologetically but instead of feeling sad he smiled and nodded.

"I'll see you in a couple hours?"

"Yes." I gave him a quick peck on the lips and bounced to my room through our bathroom. I threw myself on my bed and giggled like a school girl at the thought of him and I turning into something more.

I hadn't realized I wanted there to be something beyond kisses until I faced the thought of losing him because of my own selfish fears. The voice rolled her eyes, _ok first: you _are _a school girl, and two: I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO!_

Oh shut up- don't get your panties in a twist.

~.~.~.

I woke up from my nap noticing the time on my own alarm clock, _eight o'clock._

_"Good morning Washington! To those of you who are barely waking up, this is DJ Mary J with KEXP 90.3 in Seattle, where music matters. I'm about to sign off and give the reins to DJ Ally who is just making her way in. Ally did you have a good Saturday night? You look like you did! _She laughed at her on private joke, I rolled my eyes, _"I hope the rain didn't dampen your night like it did with Ally, the storm seems to be passing by but it's gathering force so keep that mind as you start your commute to work!"_

Shut up. I hit my alarm clock.

Right on time Alice stormed into my bedroom, fear and relief washed over me; thankful Edward had the insight to set his alarm so early in the morning. "Bella!"

"Morning shorty." She smiled at me as she jumped on my bed, she'd decided to wear dark blue denim jeans, a dark gray faux-vintage Mickey Mouse tee with an American flag in the background and black pirate boots. She accessorized with a long pendant and rocker-ish pinky ring, her hair was short and point as always showing off her elfish bone structure. "You slept in the corner."

"What?" I looked around, I'd only slept on the side of the bed, the rest of the covers perfectly tucked in, "oh." _Fuck._

"That's odd, you usually sleep all over." She laughed, I grinned at her but I could feel it come out more of a grimace. "I came in to tell you that I'm going to the hospital with Mom." She rolled her eyes, but I immediately got up, "why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she shook her head, "she wants Dad to examine me at work because of the bump last night."

"Oh." I relaxed. "I see."

"No big deal but you know my mom always wants to do everything thoroughly." I nodded grimly knowing exactly what she meant, "want to go?"

"No thanks," I laughed, "I'd rather not."

"Oh come on, we can go to Johnnie's for their pancake breakfast afterward!"

"No thanks," I laughed knowing she was trying to bribe me with my favorite breakfast, "you know I can't finish John's helpings anymore."

"Bella it's going to be boring without you." She pouted trying to manipulate me into going with her but I really did not want to spend my morning waiting for Esme to find out there's nothing wrong with Alice's head. "Next time." I said, winking at her knowing full well she knew I didn't mean it. She scowled but giggled, "I would have done the same thing." She sighed, "alright, Mom, Eliza and I are going-"

"Eliza too?" Oh fuck. Edward and I will be alone again... _Oh hell the fucking yes!_

"Yeah it's Sunday, she and Mom want to restock the pantry." I nodded seemingly forgetful of Esme's and Eliza's weekly ritual. "We'll go to the hospital and then the market. Mom wants to stock up on food for tomorrow, she wants to cook Edward a banquet."

I blanched, "do you think your mom would agree to me cooking the dinner?" Alice looked at me surprised, "_you_ want to cook _Edward's_ birthday dinner? You're not going to add cyanide are you?" She asked in fake horror.

"No," I rolled my eyes taking a deep breath, "I want to smooth things out with Edward." _Sure, sure. You just want to start laying the foundation to her finding out._ "I think we've wasted a lot of time arguing with each other." Alice's mouth dropped but after a second she shrugged and nodded. "Sounds good, I'll mention it to Mom."

"Let me get up and I'll ask her myself," I tried stepping out but she stopped me, "no worries, we saw your shopping list on the fridge door and assumed you wanted Eliza to pick those ingredients up today."

"I can pick them up before work..."

"We're already going to the market anyway." She rolled her eyes, laughing but not understanding that I didn't want Esme paying for my ingredients. I hated it when she spent money on me. "What's your schedule tonight at _Newton's_?"

"Five to ten fifteen."

"Aww... I was hoping we could go out for a bit, since my brothers are going to be here."

"Tomorrow." I smiled trying to placate her. I'd asked Mr. Newton for a day off on Monday, wanting to spend the day with Edward and his family. "Ok, I'll let you get up. Mom and Eliza are waiting for me in the kitchen, ready to go."

"Alright." I nodded "thank your mom for me and tell her I'll reimburse her for the ingredients when you get back." Alice stood up but stared at me incredulously, "you are too funny sometimes, Bells." She shook her head and walked off closing the door behind her.

I heard water running in the bathroom knowing Edward had begun showering and decided to follow my morning routine in the second floor bathroom.

~.~.~.

"Show me." He told me pulling me down the corridor. Edward and I were freshly showered- he took his in our bathroom, I in the second bathroom. _Too bad..._

Shut up.

"But-"

"Emmett and I sneaked a television and VCR player in his bedroom years ago. He has it hidden in his closet behind a wall of boxes."

"Your mom wouldn't approve." I chided trying to pull away but he was too strong for me, he had Tape A in his other hand. He'd laughed psychotically when I produced the box of black tapes from my closet and told me to pull out the one I'd watched.

"This is too funny." He whispered to himself, devilish and excited, something told me he was hiding something but he didn't give me a chance to inquire further.

"What is?" I'd huffed and I gave him the tape.

"Nothing. Come on." And that's how I'd ended up being forced into his brother's bedroom.

"Hence the wall of cardboard baby." We entered Emmett's midnight blue and black-themed bedroom.

Emmett had a wide window that over-took most of his north-facing wall. His bed faced east to west with matching night tables and modern midnight blue lamps. his double bed stood off the ground in muted beech wood. It had no large headboard so to make up for it he had four matching graffiti-inspired portraits in a horizontal line hanging on the wall.

It was unstated yet very Emmett.

Edward went into his older brother's closet and after a moment pulled out a late ninties television that stood on a rolling stand much like the ones at school. A VCR player was connected to it underneath it, in the second compartment. "He must have cleared the wall when he moved to Seattle." Edward noted as he connected the cord to the wall right in front of Emmett's bed.

I felt out of place and trespassing.

"I'm not doing this here."

"Come on baby," he coaxed me, "he's not coming until the afternoon and everyone is out. I want to hear you scream in pleasure." His voice dropped three octaves as his eyes smoldered.

"Edward."

"I want to hear you scream my name as well was watch you do what you did when I wasn't here." He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the crook of my neck. I sighed into him feeling my resolve melt.

"Alright." I felt him smile into my skin as he grabbed the old dusty remote and pushed the tape in.

~.~.~.

"Oh." I gasped as I rubbed my clit, feeling fire all over me. Edward stood next to the television, watching me as I writhed in pleasure on the bed. He was shirtless and wanting but he made no move to join me.

The video had stopped playing long ago even though we'd only watched five minutes of it before Edward instructed me to show him step by step how I'd practiced during his Spring absence.

My hips matched my hand, slow and tempting hoping he would join me soon. He moaned but stayed where he was, I bit my lip, trying to seduce him but he was stronger than me, _not just physically but mentally too._ I scowled at the thought that I wasn't tempting enough for him.

"You look amazing." His voice was low and heavy.

"I wish you could join me." I gasped feeling his words shoot arrow of pleasure right into my core.

"Soon." His voice was full of promise, "but you're not done yet." I threw my head back feeling new moisture in my hands, "did you imagine my hands instead of yours baby?"

"Yes."

"Did you come a lot because of it?"

"Yes." _You have no idea..._

"Did you miss my dirty words and naughty actions?" He was enjoying this but his voice was detached and cool. "Yes." I moaned when I felt my legs stiffen, my body preparing for lift off. "You've been naughty yourself haven't you, Bella?"

"Yes."

Oh. His words. They were enough send me tittering.

"I want to eat you out again but you need to come."

"I want to come Edward." I gasped, my eyes shutting, the drop was mere seconds away.

"I'm the big bad wolf and you're Little Red Riding Hood, aren't you baby? I'm going to eat you up, lick you clean and make you scream bloody fucking murder, aren't I?"

Oh jeez.

"Aren't I, Bella?" He was closer to me, the bed shifting under me.

"Yes."

"Come with me then." His long, deft fingers joined mine in a slow torture, it was my undoing. "Say it baby, say it!" He told me and I did.

I let all of the stifled screams of the past mold together into one huge, blood-curling scream and his lips connected to my center. He sucked and grazed without mercy sending me into another orgasm, I lost control of my body as I thrashed and kicked beneath me. The fire inside of me burned my throat making me wonder if I would ever speak again.

I moved under him uncontrollably but he held me in place, making sure I didn't hurt him.

"OH FUCK! DON'T STOP, PLEASE EDWARD, OH GOD!"

"Yes," He hummed into me, "scream my name, do it." He was rough and unstoppable. I felt as if this orgasm would never fucking end, the intensity taking my utter surprise and horror. "Scream for me, Bella." He urged, frenzied and unapologetic.

"Edward," I spun my neck from side to side, my body still trying to find the calm. He hummed into me again, this time slowing down. I came down from the high slowly, like a leaf that gets taken on a ride on a hurricane-like gust through the foliage of autumn.

Drifting downwards into the earth when the wind slows down; slowly and delicately.

Edward began to peck my body upwards over my stomach moving the fabric of my pink blouse as he grazed my legs with his hand. "So beautiful." He whispered, grinning.

I was panting and gone, not finding my voice yet.

"Wasn't that amazing?" He asked, his arrogance coming back slightly. I would have rolled my eyes but I was too blissed out to care. He came up to me covering me completely and kissing me sweetly.

I didn't have time to answer because next thing I knew, Emmett walked into his bedroom to find us on his bed.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

I screamed bending to cover my nudity, Edward yelled a string of profanities and he did the same with my body, blocking me from view.

"SWEET MOTHER OF- OH MY FUCKING GOD!" Emmett yelled thunderously, pointing a deadly finger at a horrified Edward.

"Emmett calm the fuck down!" Edward grabbed the end of the comforter and threw in on top of me.

_Shoot me now, please. Just please._

Once I was covered Edward stood up, hands out defensively trying to calm his brother down, "Emmett, slow down; we can explain!"

"You better fucking explain, you motherfucker! What's the meaning of this?!" Emmett stood at full height, towering over his little brother, I'd forgotten how intimidating Em could be and was a little shocked when Edward's shoulders hunched the way they had when he'd done something wrong and Emmett reprimanded him for it.

My mortification was too much to truly enjoy the show, _are you really thinking of their brotherly dynamic instead of feeling embarrassment?_

You wanted people to know.

_Yes but not have your older brother of sorts walk in you half fucking naked!_

The mortification increased ten-fold as I tried wrapping myself further in the bedspread, _oh god._

"It just happened," Edward was adamant and worried. "I swear, I didn't plan to fall for her but I just did and she-" Emmett's fury washed away suddenly and was replaced by thunderous laughter.

He doubled over holding his hand to his stomach. Edward and I stared at each other, dumbfounded. We went back to watching Emmett lose himself in his glee.

"You-you guys should have-" He shook his head running his hand through his hair, but not looking as sexy as my Edward when he did it. _Are you fucking with me? You're seriously thinking of that right now?_

"Oh god!" Emmett's voice was coming out in gasps, when one was laughing so hard they can't speak.

"Emmett..." Edward looked at him with worry. The latter held up his hand motioning for a second, his laughter became louder, booming all over his bedroom. "Jeez I should have taped your reaction!"

I scowled w_hat the fuck?_

"That... that was priceless!" He laughed bending over one more time, "wait 'til Eliza and Dad hear about this!"

"Why would they want to know?" Edward demanded, his voice rising in anger. That seemed to have sobered Emmett.

A bit.

He stood up still holding his side. "Because she, Dad and I have a bet going on when you two would finally realize you like each other and get it over with!"

Edward and I looked at each other, totally shocked and speechless.

"Eliza and Dad owe me $250 dollars each because I said you two would get together this year."

_Wait. Wait. Wait._

"There was a pool on when Edward and I would get together?!" I screamed finally finding my voice since he walked in on us. Emmett blinked a little surprised at my outburst, he shrugged looking at both of us unashamed, "Er. Duh."

Edward and I looked at each other with what I assumed was the same look of incredulous surprise.

_What the fuck?_

* * *

**This chapter took me three days to write. There was so much I wanted to cover in this one, I'm sorry if it was a lot to take in but I saw all of this happening in one chapter. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I found myself laughing at Emmett's entrance and outburst making my sister wonder if I needed to be committed.**

**Thank you again for your patience and I'm going to start on rewriting chapter four right now.**


	18. I Will Wait

**So it's the holidays... busy, crazy and stressful; work is being an absolute bitch, I finished my finals a week ago and trust me I was pulling my hair out. I'm sorry my updates are taking longer than ever but I'm sure I'll get back into the swing of things once the end of the world and Christmas pass.**

**THANK YOU for everyone who has alerted/favored and reviewed the story/me; I get a thrill every time I see the email on my phone :DDD I'm almost at 200 reviews and I couldn't be more grateful; a bigger thank you to the handful of you who have reviewed since the beginning/after every update! You and I know who you are ;)**

**HUGE NOTE: I finally finished the Ch. 4 rewrite, and I've posted it already- I didn't before that way you would get the alert and read this note so you would know as soon as I refreshed it since it won't send you an alert for already published chapters.**

**ANOTHER HUGE NOTE: I recommend everyone read it because I added things/changed things that weren't in the original. To those who read the original: I tried very hard to remember it as much as possible but it isn't verbatim, don't kill me. Oh, and it's "slightly"different but I'm very happy in how it turned out.**

**And finally, this is another long update to make up for the time between updates- this is only for now. Vera and Babe Pryor, don't hate me!**

* * *

Mumford & Sons- _I Will Wait_

* * *

_2003._

"I can't believe it!" Edward yelled, furious. We had moved to the living room once Edward kicked Emmett out of _his_ bedroom to give me a chance to… freshen up.

Emmett had just confessed to a pool between himself, his father and their housekeeper on when Edward and I would get together.

_So much for being slick and sly._ The voice thought wryly as I still tried to wrap my brain around the fact that we'd been so obvious.

"When did this happen?"

Em thought about it for a moment, rubbing his index finger on his chin, "we all had our own suspicions since we were kids," he pointed between him and Edward, "but we didn't make the pool until last year when you came home for the holidays." He shook his head, chuckling, "Dad mentioned how high the sexual tension between the two of you when you arrived."

"Explain to me how you breached the subject." I asked, wanting to visualize the exact moment they all realized they had the same suspicions. Edward looked at me, questions all over his face.

"Well…" he cleared his throat, "Eliza was serving Dad and I some coffee when he wanted to talk about my move to Seattle and he just made a comment on the tension between the two of you.

When I made a joke about feeling hot around the two of you, he said he saw where I was coming from." I bit my lip as he continued with his story, my heart raced as if I was living that moment- about to see a car crash into a freight truck. "Eliza agreed and then we all kind of mentioned the fact that you guys don't get along but still have this…" he searched for a word, knitting his eyebrows together, "_passion_ towards besting each other." He looked up, grinning salaciously.

"Shut up." Edward interrupted him clearly knowing he was about to make another joke.

"So the pool is $250 each?" I asked wanting to get all of the facts.

"Yes," Emmett nodded unabashed and without the slightest hint of shame. "Dad was pretty upset that you didn't do anything last year, he'd bet on it." I cocked an eyebrow, shocked that Dr. Cullen had expected Edward and I to come clean last year.

"That with you moving away," Emmett motioned to Edward, "and then coming home, he thought it would force the two of you to either admit it to each other and/or the family."

"And you bet on this year?" Edward asked with a slight hint of ice in his voice. _Don't you think that's weird?_

What?

_He sounds angry. I would have thought he wanted people to know about us. I mean, he's itching to tell the world and all that._

I looked at Edward, studying him. He stood at the center of the living room not so far from where I sat; his shoulders were squared as he glared at his brother who was lounging on the biggest sofa.

"Yup." Emmett popped his lips, stretching out and taking off his sneakers, he was wearing casual clothes, and he propped his feet on the sofa arm. Something he would have never done in front of his mother.

_While the cat's away, the mice will play._ The voice thought wryly, hinting more at Edward and me than Emmett. I ignored her jab knowing I needed to focus on Emmett.

"Why?" I asked wanting to know his reasoning. I was becoming obsessed with how and why people assumed Edward and I had a thing. _Which you do but…_

Whatever.

"I don't know," Em shrugged, "I just figured the two of you would sit down individually and realize that you missed each other. I agree with that Dad on the whole 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' thing but it seemed too… fast for the two of you." He chuckled incredulously, "you guys move at a snail's pace."

"And Eliza?" Edward asked, beginning to pace and looking intense and thoughtful. _What are you thinking about?_ I was about to vocalize my thoughts but I thought better of it. I didn't know what he might be thinking and I didn't want Emmett to know too much.

"She bet on next year." Emmett shrugged, "she figured the two of you would be old enough to come to terms with your attraction- being in college and all. The only chink in her chain would be where you'd decide to study, Bella."

I looked at my hands, covering my face with my hair, feeling the familiar burn in my cheeks. "Oh."

I heard Edward chuckle, "she's going to New York."

"Oh?" I saw Emmett sit up in my peripheral vision, _why did you have to tell him this now?_ "I'm glad I walked in on you today, Eliza would've won if you'd come out next year."

"You do realize your bet is void right?" Edward asked him, still angry but lightening up.

"What do you mean?"

"Well your bet is founded on when Bella and I will _realize_ we like each other and come together," Edward sat next to me, close enough where I felt his body heat but far enough where I longed to sit closer. My hand itched to touch his thigh. "When truth be told, I realized that _years_ ago." Edward announced it, a slight ring in his voice, "and Bella and I have been hiding our 'togetherness' for years. Hence your bet is null and void." He sounded both pleased and formal.

"Oh." Emmett's face fell, his mind taking everything in. "Fuck." He groaned, "you guys took all the fun out." He pouted cutely. I laughed out loud, feeling a new sense of freedom in my lungs. That didn't mean I was going to let go of the reins anytime soon though.

I stood up, and sat an inch from the edge of Emmett's sofa, he smiled at me brightly, "I know it's unfair for me to ask you this because," I looked at Edward and gave him a sour smile, "I'm a very selfish person, but I really want to get to know Edward better as a boyfriend-" my heart fluttered at the words taking me by surprise, "wi-without having all of the eyes on the world on us. The questions, the comments…"

"You're asking me to keep your secret?"

"Yes." I nodded, feeling Edward's intense glare on me but tried focusing on Emmett's questioning stare.

"Are you serious?" He asked me but also turning to Edward. I took a deep breath but didn't turn to look at Edward. I didn't want to see the quiet fury in his eyes.

"If that's what Bella wants." Edward answered coolly, it ran down my spine like an artic breeze.

"You're afraid of what people will say?" Emmett sat up, staring at me.

I bit my lip a little embarrassed. The budding fear of people commenting on how imperfect Edward and I are together had started to root itself inside of me.

"She's afraid of people's reactions." Edward stood up and began pacing again, quiet and fuming. The last thing I wanted for him to be upset with me.

"Why?" Emmett asked me, amazed. I looked at him and thought of the right words without giving myself away.

"Like I said, I want to get to know him better."

Emmett made to stand up forcing me to stand too. He shook his head, exhaling loudly. "That sounds like a weak reason."

I blanched, he was calling me out. _Good for him._

I bit my lip, ignoring the voice yet again. I looked at Edward who glared at me by the mantelpiece. I turned back to Emmett hoping I sounded convincing. "Let's face it, I've only seen Edward as-" I don't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing but the bell rang, interrupting me.

"I'll get it." Edward told us, as he made his way out of the living room.

"Look Bella, I'll keep my mouth shut," I brightened, Emmett raise his hand to stop me looking determined, "_until_ we get a chance to talk again _and_ you make your case." My face and heart fell, "if your reasoning isn't good enough I can't be held accountable for my big mouth."

I was distracted when I heard Edward talking very loudly in the foyer. "Who is it?" I whispered to Emmett who shrugged, "were you expecting someone?" He asked me curiously.

"No." We started for the entrance, my mind recognized the voice. Jasper stood by the door with two suitcases. He spoke to a worried Edward in a rushed and agitated voice.

"Jasper?" He turned around in my direction quickly.

"Bella," he smiled coming to me and giving me a quick hug, he'd been caught in the storm and was slightly wet. He turned to Emmett and shook his hand, "hey man."

"What's up?"

Jasper gave out a heavy sigh, "I'm here pleading sanctuary." He looked back to Edward nervously who took in Jasper's luggage and placed it away from the door before closing it. "You've already got it."

Jasper grinned appreciatively, "do you think your folks will mind?"

"No, not at all." Emmett shook his head, questions clear all over face.

"What happened?" Edward asked him, coming closer.

"I went to war with David and Paula over the same fucking thing- using me as a toy in their fucked up superiority game." He clarified for Emmett and me. "My mom came from the trailer park in Oklahoma and married my dad for his money-" he was blasé about his admittance, Emmett and I said nothing and Jasper went on, "David married her to give Grandaddy Whitlock the finger, lest to say a match made in heaven." He shook his head dryly. _Whoa… he seems so… desensitized to this. _"Paula was the stereotypical _nouveau riche_ wife and David did nothing to quench her new spending habits."

Emmett and I sent each other a tiny look of similar compassion towards Jasper; I noticed Edward was watching me with sad eyes, making me wonder what was on his mind again.

"When I was born, Grandaddy Whitlock made me the primary inheritor of his estate to return the favor for marrying Paula, giving him 10 percent behind my share, Lisa Whitlock- his sister, the board and charity-"

"Whoa." Emmett gasped. "Yup." Jasper grinned ruefully, understanding Emmett's shock. I felt like I was missing something.

"Jasper's family founded Longhorn Petroleum Inc." Edward answered my unvocal question. My mouth dropped after I put the pieces together, "as in the gasoline company?!"

"That's the one." Jasper turned around, scoffing.

"Holy shit." I stared at him with my mouth on the floor, knowing I was being extremely rude. I blinked twice, clearing my throat, "sorry." He laughed lightly, "it's alright, darlin' no big deal." I bit my lip, blushing and looking down unable to feel embarrassed.

"You know how much ten percent of that company really is?" He asked me rhetorically, "enough to support a huge village in Africa for a lifetime but _noooo_ Mr. David R. Whitlock III has to have the whole kit and kaboodle." _Oh my fucking god…_"To make matters worse," he looked at Edward apparently with a new piece of information, "Lisa Whitlock drew up a living will and gave me the properties in Los Angeles, Memphis, Chicago _and_ Fort Worth."

"Holy fuck, that's bad news." Edward gasped, taking a step forward. "What did David do when he found out?"

"That's where the fight comes in," he turned to Emmett and me once again, "David asked me to go home for the summer holidays because he wanted to tell me something important," he turned back to Edward, "Lisa had informed Dad of the new living will and asked for a family meeting at The Bend-" _huh?_

"The Bend is the Whitlock compound in Fort Worth," Edward told me, damn him and his ability to read my face. I gave him a tiny smile which he didn't return. _What the fuck?_ I scowled but he just went back to Jasper.

"Sorry Bella," Jasper apologized quickly for not explaining his home's name, he went back to Edward as his voice became agitated, "so everyone's there- even family I had no idea I had, and Lisa as the matriarch of the family stands and tells everyone-"

My mind went to the fragile, sweet Principal Whitlock. I couldn't believe she was the matriarch of one of the "Southern Rockefellers" and the fact that she'd gotten away from all of the wealth and fame to live in a small town on the other side of the country living a normal life dedicated to education. _Wow…_

"-that she's giving me her estate and asked me to stand and sign the paperwork in front of her lawyers, the company's lawyers, Grandaddy Whitlock's lawyers and every fucking lawyer south of the Dixie Line." He shook his head in disappointment once again, "they even had my three personal lawyers there. Do you think they all come with a matching briefcase and seven figure salaries, or are they all limited edition?" He compared them to Barbie, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Edward said nothing letting him vent, Jasper went on, "my own lawyers, ones I remember from when Grandaddy Whitlock passed, came up to me and informed to that they'd had read and studied the will and that it was in my best interest to sign it.

David and Paula blew a fucking gasket- everyone else expected something like this and they'd just made the trip to watch the blowout." He rolled his eyes; I on the other hand was in total shock. "I spoke to Lisa and asked her why she'd done this. She told me that when she'd first found out about my visit to Forks and my connection to you," he spoke to Edward specifically, "she's thought David had orchestrated the whole thing to get to her but when she met me and noticed the disinterest in me she knew it had all been serendipity," he sent Edward a knowing grin.

"She told me she was well aware what she was doing and what the consequences might be but she had faith in me and how I could turn such a toxic familial situation into a healthy one. I have no idea what she was talking about but I didn't ask further questions."

The way he spoke of his family, the way his family acted and how they treated each other, I was in shock. Total shock.

"Did you sign the paperwork?" Emmett asked, glossy-eyed and in awe like a child is when his parent is reading him a bedtime story.

"Not at first." Jasper shook his head, "I took the paperwork and read it overnight all the while the army of lawyers conferenced in and out. David and Paula tried to get to me but Lisa's and my lawyers didn't allow it because they might interfere with my decision.

I read the documents overnight and if I signed I would take over Lisa's estate _ab initio_ but wouldn't be able to sell the properties until I marry." He rolled his eyes, "I woke Lisa and the army of lawyers sans my parents and their lawyers because I knew they would want to know everything that was going on and see how they could get the most out of all of this.

I agreed to her terms but I had a few of my own." I felt the suspense rise between the Cullen brothers and I, this felt like an episode of _Dynasty._ "I agreed to her terms as long as I was able to step away from the CEO position of the company _in absentia_ as it were, and I could do anything I wanted with the properties and the possible profit that came with them- the company lawyers told me they would draw up a new contract with my specifications and I signed the paperwork." He gave out a sigh.

"David and Paula woke up, found out what happened and cursed me out. They said how ungrateful I was and that I'd manipulated both cash cows into giving me everything. Paula told me I owed it to her to hand over everything because she was my mother and I needed to respect that. Of course they said I was a nineteen year old brat that didn't know anything about finances and running a billion-dollar company and I told them they were right but that didn't mean I let go of it all." He looked at me suddenly, "don't get me wrong- I don't want such a disgusting amount of money but just like David I wanted to give my father the finger and I did. Not just one, both," he laughed indulgently.

"Of course I couldn't stay there any longer and asked Lisa if I could go. I flew back to New Hampshire on the jet and tried talking to Karla about it. She was completely unsympathetic and told me I needed to grow a pair and proceeded to ask me to shop her way through Europe."

"Wow." Edward gasped. "I had no idea she was like that." The tell-tale ring of a lie in Edward's voice told me he was lying, and as always no one else noticed this; the thought made me smile.

"I thought of Paula and how she spoke to David about her expectations and broke up with her right then and there. She broke everything in her apartment, throwing stuff at me. I'm shocked I was able to get out of there unscathed."

"Damn." Emmett groaned shaking his head, sympathetically. I said nothing feeling both pity and excitement that maybe Alice did have a chance with Jasper now that he was a free man. _After giving him a minute to mourn the breakup and I do mean a minute._

"I went back to our apartment but I couldn't stand being alone, I called you yesterday to ask you if I could come here but after waiting for a call back I couldn't be alone and came over without waiting for a response." He looked at Edward, bashful and apologetic. "That's when I noticed I'd dropped my pager at Karla's and there was no way in hell I would try to retrieve it from her."

"It's alright man," Edward gave him a one-arm hug, keeping his arm around his shoulders tightly. "I'm here for you and my door is always open. I'm sure Mom will be thrilled to have you again, she loves how you call her Ma'am and all that southern charm that she says is missing in the rest of the country." He shook Jasper in faux annoyance.

Jazz grinned, winking at him playfully, "well, shucks son. I should really lather it up like hog grease on biscuits and gravy." He thickened his accent to a comical one.

Emmett boomed, "oh my fucking god, you are hilarious and that sounded disgustingly good!" I grimaced, "no. That's just plain disgusting." I walked towards the kitchen, "why don't you drop off your things in the guest house and take a hot shower to wash away the rain while I make us some real food?"

"Sounds awesome!" Emmett grinned looking excited and hopeful, "I love your cooking!"

I blushed looking away, "thanks." I turned to Jasper wanting to move the spotlight away from me and because I wanted to do something to cheer him up, "what would you like?"

"No grease and gravy biscuits?"

"Is that even real?" I didn't believe that people actually put pork grease on biscuits.

He shrugged, "you'd be surprised at what kinds of foods you find in the world." He thought about what he wanted, "would buttermilk pancakes, bacon and eggs be too much to ask?"

"No not at all," I laughed, "how do you like your eggs?"

"Sunny side up." He grinned.

"Toast and orange juice too?"

"Yes ma'am!" It was his turn to make me feel like he was five years old.

"Wow that sounds so good." Emmett salivated, his eyes rolling over as he put a hand on his stomach. "I'm starving. I haven't had a bite to eat since I left Seattle this morning."

"That was two hours ago, how could you be starving?" Edward asked him, annoyed as he took Jasper's things.

"Hey, what with me walking in on you and Bella-"

"Emmett!" I yelled looking at Jasper who looked curiously between Emmett and me.

"Oh." Emmett grimaced at Jasper.

"He walked in on you?" He asked Edward knowingly whose color had totally drained from his face and stood like a statue looking at me. I looked at him questioningly, _why does he sound like he knows something?_

"You know too?!" Emmett asked Jasper, both giddy and reproaching.

"Yeah dude," Jasper told him, I blanched feeling my heart drop out of my chest. "Isn't it obvious they have a thing?" He looked at me and then, he himself paled. He looked at Edward in alarm, "I fucked up didn't I?"

"Yeah you did." He woke up and walked to me, determined and cautious.

"We need to talk." I croaked, raising my defenses.

"Bella-" He began but I interrupted him, "alone."

"Here Jasper," Emmett scrambled for the suitcases, "let's put this away, yeah?"

"Yeah, totally." He looked at Emmett and then turned to me, "just so you know, he didn't tell me. I called him out on it and he had no choice but to admit it." He chuckled turning to Edward but still talking to me, "I just can't believe you thought you were being sly let alone no one else calling you out on it."

"It was more of an open secret, you know?" Emmett answered him happily, taking the luggage with him and walking towards the hallway that head outside, "we didn't want to get involved and it was pretty fun watching them yell at each other even though they totally wanted to fuck on the staircase," _ahahaha he's so right!_ The voice came back, fully recovered from her morning humiliation and was swinging on the _Secret Garden_'s flower swing.

_I told you, you were so fucking blind!_ "-or up against the wall, which I'm pretty sure they would have done and more if I hadn't walked in on them in _my_ bedroom!" Their laughter echoed towards me like a giant cartoon snowball rolling down a mountain. "And you've got to tell me the story of how Edward got his tattoo," he turned his cheek over his shoulder towards his wilted little brother, "don't think for a second I didn't notice!"

"Kill me now, just kill me now." I palmed my face, not really speaking to anyone in particular.

"They'll both keep it a secret." Edward told me. I flared up, looking up at him, "what the fuck Edward!"

He sighed looking away, "he told you already. He called me out one night and I couldn't deny it." He looked up thoughtfully, "I might have to do something about the tattoo bit though, I'd rather Mom finds out about it _after_ my birthday."

"Is that what you're worried about? You were of age when you got it so she couldn't really do anything about it!" I was enraged that he was being so selfish, _the phone's ringing; it's the pot- you should answer immediately._

Shut up you fucking bitch.

_You do realize you're calling yourself a bitch right?_

I'm nuts, I really have gone off the rails; I'm not kidding anymore. The voice didn't bother to retort, she was swinging gaily, imagining Edward picking flowers to give to her. He was deciding between fire lilies and bluebells.

One had nothing to do with the other but I wasn't about to question the correlation between the two.

"So what if both of them know?" He told me defiantly, his eyes were melted and churning; he was going to put up a fight. "I had the day after Christmas etched in my mind and I wanted to voice my thoughts to someone that would listen. It's only fair." He told me icily.

"What do you mean? I haven't told a soul!"

"Dr. Carter has a soul does she not?" I stepped back, totally forgetting about my psychologist, "or do you believe like many that psychiatrists are members of the damned?" He asked me humorlessly. I swallowed the trump, "don't be ridiculous."

"Then what's your argument?" He crossed his arms, cocking an eyebrow expectantly. I swallowed again, thinking of how Jasper was different than Carter. "She's a mental health professional."

"And Jasper's my best friend."

"But he's not trained, and Dr. Carter is ethically and legally bound into secrecy. Jasper- like now, can open his mouth without a safety net."

"True," he nodded but I sensed a caveat, "but only because his defenses were down. He was preoccupied with his own personal issues hence forgetting to fake knowledge of us." I felt like we were in our own legal battle surprising me a little.

Something told me that if we'd had this discussion last year we would have been yelling at each other, profanities, insults and screams galore. But now, we sounded… litigious.

Maybe Jasper rubbed off on us.

_No way. _The voice shook her head from her swing, _you guys are being formal because you know you're working towards staying together thus hashing it out and reaching a compromise._

I thought about what she was saying, I knew deep down she was right.

She rolled her eyes, _when will you learn that I am you? I won't go away until you come to terms with it._ She sounded different, serious and prophetic.

"Listen Bella," he dropped his armor and ran his hand through his hair, "my father, my brother and my nanny have a bet going on for when we'd realize we're into each other. Going by Emmett's actions and reactions, those involved are more than happy with the idea of you and I." He came to me looking defeated but hopeful.

My heart melted, so wanted to kiss him and hug him in front of everyone. And I especially wanted to get over the fear of being caught but the horror of _most _people commenting on how inferior I was to him, scared me.

He must have seen this because he took a step back, his eyes turning into solid emerald rocks. He inhaled deeply, "I'll talk to them."

"Edward," I wanted him to understand my fears; I didn't want him to misunderstand my reasons as to why I wanted to keep it a secret. "Please-"

He raised his hand, "no it's fine. I've been hiding this for years now, this is nothing." He went for the hallway that would lead him out towards the guest house, "I'll see how Jazz is doing though. I want to see if he's alright."

"Edward!" He ignored me and walked out.

_Was it you who said Edward was dangerous when he reined in his emotions?_

I bit my lip nervously, walking him turn the corner of the hallway out of my line of vision, knowing the voice was right.

~.~.~.

I threw myself into making Jasper his breakfast making sure to take extra care because I was somewhat distracted. I looked at the time knowing the girls wouldn't be back until two hours later, _no use making them breakfast too. It'll be past noon when they come back._

I knew Edward liked his eggs done easy, his toast lightly toasted and crispy beacon while Emmett liked his eggs scrambled and almost burnt bacon. I hadn't asked Jasper if he liked his toast and bacon done a specific way and decided to copy Edward's taste.

The boys came into the kitchen as I plated the pancakes, "wow it smells divine." Jasper complimented, looking showered, in a fresh set of clothes, he'd decided on black Levi's, a tropical green Marley t-shirt and black Converse. A man after my own heart.

Emmett grinned, "I told you she had hands of a goddess."

"That she does." Edward answered cryptically. His eyes became hooded and dark; I narrowed by eyes at him, I was almost sure he was fucking with me.

_I wish he would fuck me…_ I gasped internally at the voice asking her why she'd said that but she was too preoccupied with imaginary Edward who was regaling her with the best Shakespearian sonnets as she held on to her red bouquet with little blue specks here and there.

_Don't look at me_, she told me pissed that I'd interrupted her fantasy, _I didn't say that._

"Oohh, I wonder what he means by that!" Emmett wondered, nudging Jasper and wiggling his eyebrows. I blinked twice, three times completely confused at myself and alarmed not realizing Emmett was talking about Edward and not me. Besides he said _he_ not she, and Emmett can't read minds, that's crazy!

The voice laughed at me as imaginary Edward twirled her around the flowerbeds, showers of sunlight illuminating him in the most beautiful light.

"Shut up Emmett." I gritted my teeth turning around and feeling the blood rush to my cheeks.

"Don't worry Bella, I won't make jokes like that in front of everyone else, just between the four of us." He winked sitting down at the breakfast bar in front of his pancakes. I went to plate his eggs keeping an eye on the bacon and hoping he meant it.

"Ditto." Jasper told me, when I turned around to give Emmett his eggs our eyes met and he smiled apologetically. I sighed resigned. He was such an angel- I couldn't help but feel my suspicions melt away. I exhaled sharply, "I believe you both." I looked at Jasper who smiled widely showing me his pearly whites.

I finished plating everything, taking a seat in front of them, "you're not eating bacon and eggs?" Jasper noted when I finished serving myself some pancakes and some of Esme's fresh fruit salad she liked to cut every morning.

"I try not to eat a lot of fats with carb-heavy foods." I told him, digging into the cantaloupe; this was no news to Emmett and Edward.

"Don't tell me you're a health nut." Jasper gasped.

"No," I laughed, "I've always had issues with my weight and I was at risk for childhood diabetes when I was growing up so I've learned to take care of what I eat. My former nutritionist wouldn't be happy if she found out I'd thrown all of her teachings away."

I'd stopped going to Dr. Collins this past February because there was no medical need to keep seeing her. She'd taught me everything there was to keeping a healthy diet and my blood tests had come back healthy.

She told me that if I had a question to contact her anyway.

"Oh." Jasper nodded, tactfully digging into his food. He moaned when he took his first bite, "wow these are the best pancakes I've ever had! What do you do to make them so good?"

I blushed again but deciding to just accept the compliment and answer him, "I add a little bit of orange zest and a slash of real vanilla extract."

"Spoken like a true chef." Emmett winked biting into his eggs, "I love Eliza's cooking, but she could never get scrambled eggs quite like you." Without further ado, Jasper stabbed some of Emmett's eggs and tried them, "hey!"

"I want to taste." He ate his forkful, moaning again. Edward chuckled looking at him amused. "Wow." Jasper told me, "what did you do to them?"

"Just added milk, pepper and salt no big deal." I shrugged.

"It's the way she makes them, right Edward?"

"Oh yeah." Edward grinned cutting his pancakes after adding some maple syrup. "Like you said Emmett, she's a goddess." He winked at me playfully. I felt exposed in front of Emmett and Jasper but I said nothing. I remembered similar words he said to me the night before in the middle of one of my many orgasms making my skin erupt in goosebumps and a thrilling lightning run down my spine.

I smirked, keeping my eyes on him and biting my lip. I felt the old current of electricity buzz between us.

"We shouldn't have said anything," Jasper groaned, "now they're going to jump each other in front of us."

"True." Emmett replied, thinking the same thing. "It's not even worth the $500."

"Null and void remember?" Edward told him, not turning away from me.

"I would have won if I'd known you guys before." Jasper complained cutting his pancakes. I laughed, going back to my fruit; Edward frowned when I broke our spell.

"So Jasper," I cleared my throat trying to change the subject, he sipped on his orange juice before eating his bacon, "tell me how Edward got his tattoo." I had never occurred to me of how my man had gotten his sexy mark. Emmett laughed into his milk sputtering it everywhere, "sorry, sorry." He grabbed some napkins from napkin stand down the breakfast bar.

"No," Edward shook his head turning to Jasper, "don't tell her."

"Why not?" I asked him indignantly, I looked at Emmett who was giggling like a schoolboy as he wiped the counter. "Tell me."

"I promised I wouldn't tell." Jasper told me angelically.

"You better fucking tell me or I'll run you over with my truck." Edward scoffed, "not if the truck kills you first."

"I told you not to knock my truck," he was about to rebuttal but I didn't give him a chance, turning to Jasper I tried having the bitchiest most intimidating look I could muster, "how did he get it?" I wasn't even curious anymore, I just wanted to know to show them up.

Jasper glanced at Edward who shrugged, sighing and going to grab a cup of coffee. Jasper turned to me gleefully, I couldn't help but lean in, "it was in October of last year and Edward had just had his first big college exam," my mind's eye was imagining Edward then, tired and stressed, "when I got home and saw him walking into things and burning himself on the stove for not paying attention I told him we would order out and drink the night away.

I had recently stocked up on some vintage Patron and we did shots." I scowled at Edward who looked impassive as he drank his black coffee. "Don't tell me you had the stereotypical drunken tattoo experience."

"No," he shook his head.

"So we finished the bottle between us and he began telling me about how life is fucking unfair and how we should all just everything to hell and tell the ones we love how much we fucking love them." Jasper told me as if I hadn't interrupted him, I gaped at his words not daring to glance at Edward.

"I asked him to explain but he just told me about sin and forbidden apples." He shrugged, winking at me. Emmett chuckled into his pancakes not saying anything to add to the conversation. I knew it was because Edward had silenced him in the guesthouse. I glared at Emmett when I should have been glaring at his brother.

"I don't remember what happened next except when I woke up on the floor of my bedroom." When I went into the bathroom I found Edward in the bathtub, face down and snoring. I couldn't help but giggle at the thought. "How did you end up in the tub?"

"I dunno." He sighed, still nursing his coffee, he was still detached from the conversation, a probable defense mechanism towards me. I turned to Jasper not bothering to ask him straight out, "so then he got the tattoo?"

"No," he shook his head, "Two weeks later we were walking down Etna- a little town aside Hanover. We passed by a tattoo parlor and Edward just walked in without much of a thought, he propped down on one of the chairs and the girl tattoo artist asked him what he wanted." I pursed my lips, imagining this hot, inked and badass girl checking him out as he took off his shirt and told her what he wanted.

"I told her I wanted _Peccavi_ in Latin script, she drew out some sketches, I chose the one I liked and here we are." Edward told me, almost bored.

"I don't get how this is funny though." I looked at Emmett who glanced at me lost. "Oh! I wasn't laughing at the actual story Bella Ella, I was laughing at my jokes." He winked eating his eggs.

I looked at him annoyed, "finish up, you're going to wash the dishes since I cooked you breakfast."

Edward groaned, "the dishwasher's out of commission."

"I know, so you have to do it manually." I laughed, knowing he was going to moan about it throughout his stay.

"Ugh." Emmett moaned, shaking his head. "Mom is going to force us to clean up every single pot and pan for Edward's dinner tomorrow."

"If you promise to keep the whining to a minimum I promise to bake a blueberry and strawberry pie for dinner." I cleared my throat feeling hot and secretly embarrassed because I would take over that task.

"You're the one that loves berries," Emmett told me, "so it wouldn't be for me!" I laughed knowing he'd call me out on my trick. "Make it into a chocolate mud pie and you've got yourself a deal."

"Alright." I nodded. "I'll bake it before I head to work today."

"You work today?" Edward asked me surprised.

"Yeah, from five to ten fifteen." I informed him feeling dejavu. He scowled, "did you forget I'm a working woman now?"

"Yes." He told me petulantly.

"Don't be needy Edward." Jasper chastised him light-heartedly, "she has to support the two of you while you take care of the twenty children and fifty cats and dogs and play the piano all fucking day." Edward stared at him in shock but he recovered quickly.

"I'd want _seven _kids and _ten _dogs; I'm not a cat person." He shook his head.

"What?" I gasped, wondering why Jasper would mention Edward playing the piano again, I put the thought aside, the sheer number of kids Edward expected from his future wife shocked me.

"Who's having seven kids and ten dogs?!" Esme opened the garage door, her hand on her hip.

"Mom, you're home!" Emmett stood up grinning and going to her to greet her hello. "You're early, Emmett." She grinned, "I'm glad you're here already, I missed my important architect of a son."

She coddled as Alice and Eliza walked through the threshold. Eliza clapped her hands at the sight of Emmett and greeted him just as brightly as his mom.

"I'm not an official architect yet Mom," Emmett rolled his eyes, "I still need to get my license and that takes a few years- there are so many tests to take!"

Alice gasped standing rooted to the spot, she stared at Jasper who was standing behind Emmett looking sheepish and embarrassed. "Jasper?"

"Hey Alice, how's it goin'?" He asked her, giving her a genuine smile. If I knew any better I could have sworn I heard her swoon. I giggled covering up with a cough; Edward looked at me suspiciously, I looked away mentally chastising myself for not being smoother.

_We've established that you're not._

"Jasper, I thought you were going back home for the summer?" Esme asked him, going to him and hugging him hello. He hugged her back fiercely; she smiled kindly when they pulled away, "due to some unforeseen events I was forced to ask Edward for some sanctuary."

"What do you mean?" Alice squeaked, still rooted to the spot.

"Long story." Edward told her tactfully, "Mom we put his things in the guest house already. We just finished our breakfast."

"I thought you would take longer." I commented feeling guilty now that I didn't make them some. Alice finally uprooted herself and rolled her eyes, "Dad told Mom there was no medical reason to waste money, the hospital resources and our time running tests for a simple bump to the head."

"You bumped your head?" Jasper asked worriedly.

"Yeah," Alice told him, eyes big and deer-like, "it hurt a lot when it happened…" I stared at her,_ this bitch is going to use it to get his sympathy!_

"But it was just a bump." Edward told Jasper, rolling his own eyes, _you guys do that a lot._ I grinned realizing the voice was right.

"Oh." Jasper smiled again, nodding and turning to Esme, "I'm sorry I came unannounced, I wasn't expecting-"

"Oh Jasper!" Esme slapped him playfully on the arm, "don't worry honey, the more the merrier!" She laughed instructing her sons to help them take the groceries out of the car.

I freaked out internally; Edward would see the ingredients and would immediately realize the surprise I was preparing for him.

"Eliza would it be ok if I pull Edward away for a moment?" Everyone stared at me for different reasons. Jasper and Emmett were suspicious, Eliza was curious- I understood her facial expressions now that I knew the secret bet she was involved in, and Esme and Alice were shocked.

"Uh," Esme blinked once but then beamed, "sure Bella, go ahead but he still has to come back and help clean up before lunch."

"Ok." I smiled ignoring Alice's questioning look, I turned to Edward who had a slight grin on his gorgeous face. "I have something to ask you," I lied thinking at lightning speed.

What the fuck do I want to talk to him about?

_How you want to go public?_

Fuck no.

_How you want to tell people about your secret relationship?_

Again, no.

_How you want to let people know you and Edward are emotionally attached?_

Shut the fuck up, that isn't happening anytime soon.

The voice shrugged, _let's hope he understands…_

I soured a bit and walked off to the hallway that opened up to the anteroom, when we got the end of the hall I made sure no one was watching us- I could hear the echo of their chatter as they unloaded the SUV and placed the groceries on the counter.

"What is it?" Edward asked me holding my hand. I looked at his hand over mine and I knew it was another one of his sneaky moves to possibly get caught. I looked at him with an eyebrow raised, he gave me a cocky smirk but didn't let go.

He was daring me.

Yes, let's hope he understands.

"A little bit more time?"

He let go, another heavy sigh. He looked away taking another sharp intake, "what do you mean by a 'little'?"

"Until after I get my SAT scores. Let's face it- Charlie wouldn't let me sleep over anymore if he found out about us." He looked at me in shock as if realizing something crucial for the first time, "even if I don't get into TCIA-"

"Which you will." He told me with unwavering belief. I gave him an annoyed look, _why are you annoyed? He believes in you unlike you and you're _you_._

"Even," I began where I'd left off, "if I don't get into TCIA, I would still rather he find out _after_ I'm accepted into college. It would make the shock of you and me less surprising." I bit my lip hoping he would say yes.

"I don't know Bella…" he looked worried now, "do you think he wouldn't approve of you and me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I mean Chief Swan has always been nice and polite to me because I'm his best friend's son but how would he react to me being with his daughter?" He paced back and forth twice before stopping and looking at me, white as a sheet, "do you think he knows about our history and how I used to tease you?"

"No," I shook my head, "I never told him anything about our dynamic. I didn't want your ire to reach new levels." I confessed, old buried feelings coming back to me. I shook them away, it was useless to bring them back.

"Oh." He looked at the floor ashamed.

"Edward," I grabbed his hand, "it's in the past ok? And as for Charlie, I never let on about you, not to mention that he was too preoccupied with work and Renee's detachment to be a hands-on parent." I felt guilty for saying this out loud but it was true.

Dad had always been a great provider but his work and spousal life had really curved his parental attention towards me. I didn't resent him for it but it did sadden me that he hadn't been there for me.

Edward nodded, releasing a sigh of relief. "Hey," I remembered why I'd pulled him away in the first place, "why don't you run upstairs and get ready to take Jasper out? You can take him to Seattle or Tacoma to distract him. I'm sure he needs some time to have some guy talk, huh?"

"I doubt he wants to go out, but I will pull him aside and see if he really is ok." He ran his hand through his hear in thought, "he told Emmett and I he was fine but I'm not sure. His family really is fucked up to try and use him as a monetary pawn."

"Hey," Emmett walked out into the hallway looking secretive, "you guys done 'talking'?" He winked.

"Yeah." Edward looked at me smiling. "In one week's time then?" He asked me for clarification. I breathed deeply and nodded, feeling both dread and anticipation. Mostly dread though. "Ok." He told me bending down to give me a quick peck.

I felt a thrill all over as if we were doing something illicit- and I missed his kisses. _You're addicted!_ I looked at Edward all fuzzy and warm, my heart beating against my ribcage to a happy beat.

Yeah, yeah I am.

~.~.~.

I asked everyone including Jasper not to let Edward now about my surprise, getting weird looks from Esme and Eliza. I'd asked them to pass on the secret to Dr. Cullen when he arrived from work since I wouldn't be home by the time he did.

They promised me they would but not before asking me why the sudden change in attitude. "Don't get me wrong, honey, but you two always quarreled and now you want to make his birthday dinner? What changed?" Esme asked me when I got her alone.

"Nothing," I blushed, "I just realized we are better off as friends than enemies." Esme laughed, shaking her head and giving me a hug.

Edward and I had decided to call Dr. Cullen and Eliza out after we would tell everyone about us. I felt slightly insulted that they'd done it, but I couldn't deny that part of me was pleased.

I excused myself after lunch to call Charlie, he'd only been gone for three days and I already missed him. "The Westin Hotel, how may I help you?"

"Is Charlie Swan from room 906 in?" I sat down in the living room while everyone else went to the gameroom to watch some circular summer television since no one wanted to go out because of the downpour.

"Yes he is, miss. May I have your name?"

"Isabella Swan, his daughter."

"Just a moment while I connect you."

"Thank you." I sighed, I hated speaking to operator-like personnel, it was always awkward and fake. The phone rang three times and for a moment I thought Charlie had gone out and not told the front desk, it was Sunday and the only day the seminar wouldn't meet.

_Maybe he went out to see the sights._

Charlie had never been one to walk around except when I was younger and would ask him to take me around Seattle after my sessions with Dr. Carter. He would take me to Pike Street Market and have some lunch before walking around, watching the vendors and customers as they sold and bought their fresh seafood.

"Hello?"

"Dad?" He brought me back, a new wave of nostalgia sweeping over me.

"Bella?" He sounded cheerful.

"How are you?" I laughed feeling dumb, he was only gone for three days and I felt like he'd been gone a month.

"I'm well, having a lot of fun down here."

"Really?" I was a little shocked at how happy he sounded, like a new man.

"Yeah, everyone's been great, I'm not used to the attention but everyone seems to know about the stop- I had no idea they were focusing on it so much!"

"It was a big deal, Dad," he was so humble it was slightly surprising, "you were just doing your job and you did what one hopes their local law enforcement do every day."

He laughed, "oh sweetie." I could tell he wanted to change the subject because he hated the spotlight, _like father like daughter_. "How are you doing? How's everything over in Forks?"

"Good," I smiled and then feeling nervous, "I went to Dr. Carter's office yesterday- she's going to Des Moines tomorrow and won't be back 'til next Sunday."

"Oh really?" He mused, "she mentioned she was from Iowa once or twice, maybe she's visiting family over the summer."

"Really?" I was surprised I'd never known where Dr. Carter was originally from even though she knew every facet of my life/personality.

"Yes, you didn't know?"

"No, Dr. Carter never talks about herself."

"Because she's there for you, Bella." He chuckled, "she's the upmost professional." I had to agree, she threw the line on the sand very well and I had to give her credit for that.

Esme walked into the living room with a huge glass vase of fresh yellow lilies and tulips, bits of freesia and green viburnum and ivy. Esme loved gardening and had a huge glasshouse not far from the guesthouse where she spent her time pruning and cutting her landscaped gardens.

"Hey Dad, Esme just walked in, do you want to talk to her?" Esme looked at me surprised to find me there on the phone.

"Oh no Bella," she whispered apologetically, "I didn't know you were talking to your dad, I'm sorry." She put down the vase, "sure Bella," my dad told me, "put her on!"

I handed her the phone, "he wants to say hello." I smiled, not minding she'd walked in.

"Oh I'm sorry Bella." She walked to me with her hand out to take the receiver. "I'll just say a quick hello and I'll let you finish talking to him."

"No it's ok," I shook my head, I put up my hand really quickly so I could say goodbye to him, "Dad I'm going to work in two hours, I need to get ready ok?"

"Oh ok." He sounded disappointed, "but I'll talk to you later right?"

"Yes Dad, I'll get out after ten so I'll call you tomorrow afternoon after you're free."

"Bella," he told me hurriedly, "before you go I wanted to ask you if you could go home and make sure everything is ok?"

"You're being paranoid, Dad." I rolled my eyes, Charlie had the fear that if we left the house alone for too long it would explode or something. "It doesn't hurt to check." He told me stubbornly.

"Ok, I'll check it out when I get out of work ok?"

"Oh and Bella?"

"Yes?" I looked at Esme with a faux annoyed look, she laughed shaking her head. She knew she liked to elongate goodbyes with her own kids.

"Don't forget your mace and your whistle."

"I won't, Dad. I'll talk you tomorrow." I heard Edward walk into the living room calling his mom only to be shushed by her.

"Bella one more thing."

"Yes Dad?" This time I wasn't faking the annoyance in my voice.

"I love you." He told me sincerely. The nostalgia hit me again, closing up my throat. Charlie and I weren't very showy with our love for each other but when he said stuff like that to me, it really hit me in the best possible way.

"I love you too." I smiled into the floor hoping he could hear it. I handed the phone to Esme who told Edward to give her a minute while she greeted Charlie. Edward nodded walking out with me.

"How's your dad?" He asked me as I walked up the stairs towards my room. I had a little obsession with being on time to everything and I always started getting ready two hours before any appointment. I hated rushing and I absolutely hated being late so it worked for me even though there wasn't much to fix.

"He's well, thank you." I smiled, I would have found it stupid of us to walk together in front of everyone like this but now that I was easing myself towards outing us, I had to get used to the idea of everyone seeing us like "this."

"Good." He nodded, I could tell there was something on his mind.

"What is it?" I didn't feel like beating around the bush.

"How are you getting to work?"

"With my truck." We rounded the corner towards our hallway.

"Oh." He scrunched up his face in disgust, "let me take you." I scoffed stopping and looking at him, "my truck maybe vintage-"

"Fancy word for 'decrepit'" He jeered, I folded my arms. "It's a good truck."

"It scares me."

"No it doesn't," I started for my door not wanting to argue about my truck, "you just want to drive me to work don't you." I grinned, loving it.

"True but not true." He followed me closely as I entered my room, he locked the door behind him. I went into my closet and started looking for fresh clothes. "I don't like the mechanic." He told me as he stood close by.

"Jacob?" I asked him pulling away from my clothes and turning to him.

"Yes." He nodded, stoic and serious. I felt like he was confessing something important, "what do you mean?"

"Don't act like you don't know," he told me, sitting down on my bed spreading his legs and leaning back on his arms. I could see his arm muscles contract under his t-shirt, I took a moment to check him out.

_Damn, the boy is fine. _"What do you mean?" I went back to looking for my clothes.

"Baby." He groaned, "you're not blind to his advances."

"Um…" I was shocked he'd noticed Jacob's interest in me, I'd never mentioned how he'd asked me out let alone his confession of undying childhood love.

"He's vocalized it didn't he?" He stood up, sounding defensive. _Damn! You took too long to answer!_

"Edward I told him I wasn't interested in him every time he said something." I rushed out, feeling guilty.

"'Every time he said something' as in, he's told you multiple times?" He gasped taking a step forward. I turned around biting my lip, "um… yeah."

"What did he say exactly?" His voice was hard and jealous, the voice giggled in pure excitement.

"That… he's liked me since childhood, and how he never mentioned it because I began spending more time with your family. I find it odd because I don't even remember that but he says he does."

Edward laughed mirthlessly, he turned on his heel and then back, "he's loved you since childhood? Seriously?" He laughed again throwing himself on my bed, spreading his hands all over my covers.

I frowned not wanting to argue and thinking of a way to distract him.

_Straddle him!_ So I did.

He looked at me with amused surprise, "you're full of surprises today." He told me as he leaned on his elbows. I grinned knowing of my biggest secret and feeling the excitement run through me yet again. I lowered myself on him and immediately felt him stir, I groaned grinding on him.

He followed my movements, slow and simmering. He hissed, closing his eyes and enjoying it.

I bit my lip, grabbing his t-shirt and balling it up in my hands, "I want to touch you." He whispered.

I kissed him slowly, I biting his bottom lip and pulling on it between my teeth thinking of how he'd done that with my core. I opened my eyes slowly and met his, hoping mine were smoldering like his. He groaned coming back to my lips and digging his hands into my waist pulling me down in to him.

"Oh yeah baby, if we keep this up you might not show up to work."

"We have to stop." I gasped knowing he was right.

"No." He told me planting wet kisses up and down my neck and jaw.

"Yes." I tried sounding serious but it came out more of a groan making him grin into me as his hips began to grind deeper. "Oh." I lolled my neck to the side loving the way he made me feel, "that feels nice." I said stupidly.

"It does?" He asked me innocently.

"Yeah." I mewled. He pushed me off gently, "too bad you have to go to work." He grinned devilishly jumping off, "we're not done with the whole 'Jacob' thing!" He ran through the bathroom, "you jerk!" I yelled, throwing myself backwards into my bed.

Someone knocked on my door making me yelp, I cleared my throat and went to open the door, it was Alice.

"Hey." I stiffened up, breathing deeply. She glanced at the open bathroom door, "Edward giving you a hard time?"

"Uh yeah." I blushed looking away. Alice heaved out a sigh, "are you sure you're not going to sprinkle rat poison all over the halibut?"

I laughed airily, "I swear no matter how much he tries to get under my skin, I won't try to kill him tomorrow." I winked at her, "I wouldn't do that on his birthday… any other day maybe…"

She giggled, shaking her head, "I just came up to let you know I just found out about Fräulein Gold Digger and I've decided something," she exhaled suddenly looking at me defiantly, I looked at her surprised.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm going get him to fall for me because well, I like him and why not?"

"Alice," I took a step forward, shocked that she felt like she needed to announce this to me this way, "why are you telling me this?"

"Well because you think it's a bad idea."

"No I don't," I shook my head, "I just told you to try and forget about him yesterday because I thought he and Karla loved each other; but now…" She blinked at me, taken aback by my clarification, "so you think I really have a shot?"

"Yeah, but I think you should give him a minute," I grinned, "after that why not?" I shrugged.

"What about Edward?"

"If he really cares about your happiness and the possible happiness of his best friend, I'm sure he wouldn't be opposed to it." I bit my lip hoping I had the lips of a prophet. _She'll understand, I just know it._

She gave me a breathtaking grin kissing my cheek and bouncing off, "I'll try but I'm not making any promises!"

I sighed heavily, "let's hope it works out…"

~.~.~.

"Don't forget to stock the brand new lures up front next to the candy; we can sell them as impulse buys." Mike Newton ordered me from him office as he drew ejaculating testicles on his Windows Paint.

"Yes Mike." I drawled from my register, Angela Weber sent me a look as she organized the altimeters and compasses. One or two men looked through the aisles, one looked at the canoes and another through the biking equipment. _Midlife crises much?_

"Bella come in here please." I groaned dropping my pen, I'd been drawing on a loose sheet of paper but unlike Mike my drawings were more vine-like than balls-like. I glanced at Angela who shot me a sympathetic look.

Mr. Newton was trying to instill some responsibility into his jackass-douchebag-sleezeball-pothead of a son by making him assistant manager. Mr. Newton had taken the day off, putting Mike at the helm.

Mike had been a little bitch to me when growing up and hadn't stopped being a jerk with age, he liked going on his 'daddy's-business-therefore-my-business' power trips. I dragged my feet to his office and stood there waiting for him to tell me to stock this or reorganize that.

He was coloring his screen balls with a peach paint before turning to me, "could you run to the 7-Eleven and get me the usual? I have mad munchies, man."

"Sure Mike." I waited for him to cough up the money, he looked at me with a bored expression, "and I'll tell Dad to put it on your check." I rolled my eyes, he always did this, "and Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"That shirt looks nice on you, makes your huge tits stand out." He leered at me, I scoffed walking out, I didn't need to hear his bullshit. I could have accused him of sexual harassment but he was such a douche, I wouldn't waste my time with his sorry ass.

I smiled to myself happy that Mike's stupid demands had allowed me to get Edward's birthday present._ He's going to love it_, the voice squealed as I crossed the street towards Lilac St. where the store I needed part of my present.

* * *

**EPOV**

I grabbed the keys to my Volvo at ten o' five on the dot, I ran down the kitchen stairs to find Dad, Emmett and Mom having a cup of coffee, Alice was in Dad's office chatting with Jasper about who knows what, probably boring the crap out of him.

I would have gone to rescue him but he was inadvertently helping me distract the pixie. "I'm going to pick up Bella, it's a little late and she forgot her mace." I showed them the fresh bottle of pepper spray I bought at Donahue's when I took Jasper to dinner at Johnnie's.

Emmett sent me a little look behind his raised cup, I paid attention to Dad more than normal. He was in the middle of finishing his third helping of Bella's mud pie. "Didn't she take her truck?"

"She did," I grabbed a water bottle, "but I don't trust that truck," _fucking Jacob Black, _"what if it can't start or the engine blows out while she's trying to get home?"

"Ok Edward if it makes you feel better to pick her up, you can." Mom told me sweetly, "don't take too long though."

"Yeah Mom, got it." _Is she in on it too?_ I wouldn't be surprised if she was, I grinned as I turned on my second baby, loving her purr under me. _Another person to add to the list… possibly._

I drove towards _Newton's Outfitters_ making sure to not speed, not knowing if Deputy Clearwater or any other officer of the squad was out patrolling- I was relieved the storm had eased up, clearing a bit for a few hours but it was still forecasted to rain the next day.

I reached the store and waited in the parking lot a few spaces away from Bella's massive red truck, Angela's white Corolla and Mike Newton's greased out black '73 Mustang. The same one I owned in a red model form and currently sat in my room with my other model cars; it was beautiful as his father drove it through town. Now, it was dented, the paint was coming off and the seats were cut up. It was physically painful to look at it even in the dark.

I listened to Springsteen while I waited for Bella humming the lyrics of _Glory Days_, watching the store for her to come out. When she did, she said goodbye to Angela but I noticed Mike walk her to her truck.

_Huh._

I stepped out feeling the chill of the wind and surprising them when they heard me close my door, "Edward?" She asked squinting in my direction.

"Hey Bella, I came to pick you up." I stepped into the halo of light from the streetlight between our cars, Angela honked to us waving goodbye to me, "nice to see you Edward!"

"Bye Angela." I waved goodbye turning back to a suspicious-looking Mike, "Hey, Mike."

"Edward Cullen," he laughed walking up to me, sizing me up, "home from the Ivy Leagues?" He was trying to be funny but Bella and I didn't laugh, "yeah man, I got home yesterday at dawn."

"That's cool, that's cool- congrats man." He nodded not sounding sincere, "so are you here to tell Bella to do your homework?" He turned to Bella, "I bet you half of the reason why he made it into doctor school is because of you." _What the fuck?_

"I'm sorry?" I scoffed.

"Didn't you use to do his work in school Bella?"

"Edward had a 4.0 GPA Mike; I had nothing to do with it." Bella told him defensively, I felt guilty- she was sticking up for me even though I _had _forced her to do my work but I'd never actually turned it in. _What? I was a little brat._

"Sure, sure." Mike told her, staring me down. "So when are we going to be forced to call you 'Dr. Cullen' like your big-shot daddy?"

"Not anytime soon, Mike," I told him icily, I so wanted to punch him in the face, "Dartmouth is just the beginning of my medical school career."

"Oh." He nodded, I could feel him getting ready for his next shot. I would take him on right then and there if I needed to. This bitch wasn't going to best me in _anything_. "Want me to follow you home Bella?" He asked her, taking her and me by surprise. "Just to make sure he doesn't corner you."

"What the fuck?" I asked him, coming closer to Bella who stared at him in similar shock. "How do I know you won't intimidate her, Edward?"

"Hold up, you motherfuck-"

"Says he who told me this shirt made my 'huge tits stand out.'" She tightened her coat around herself as I looked her at her with my mouth agape, "what?!"

Bella looked at me, worried, "you didn't need to know that." I looked at Mike who seemed blasé about what she'd just said, "did you say that to her?" I pushed him, the anger bubbling to the surface.

"What is it to you Edward? I wouldn't be surprised if you told her she looks like a fucking whale in that turtleneck."

"You fucking-three-inch dipshit-" I pushed him again hitting my car, I knew I would strike him under the belt (possibly literally) with his size issues. "Edward!" Bella screeched holding on to my arm, "leave him alone, he's not worth it!" She stomped her foot at Mike who looked scared shitless, "leave or else!"

"He's the one who's attacking me!" He pointed at me childishly, I scoffed feeling insulted that he was throwing this on me, I was reacting to his fucking jabs.

"Leave or I'll call my father right now and tell him about your comments!"

He stared at her in fear, he knew Charlie Swan would never play with anything having to do with his daughter and it would be in his best interest to fold. He sent me what was supposed to be a deathly glare and stormed off to his car, screeching off into the night.

"Fucking bastard."

"I need to go to my house and check on it; are your following me there?" She sounded angry; I stared at her, "why are you angry with me?"

"Because you didn't need to come, I brought my truck; this whole thing could have been avoided." She walked off towards that red piece of crap. "And have that jerk accost you?"

"I'm a big girl, Edward and besides he's an idiot. He doesn't consider me worthy of him." She derided opening the driver's door.

"Did you not hear what _you _said he told you?!"

"I'm going to my house, follow me or not, I don't give a shit." I gasped watching her drive off angrily. _Oh no babe, I'm not done._ I rushed into my car, driving alongside her towards her house. When we reached the small, darkened house and parked in the driveway. She walked out silent and fuming.

We walked in, turning on the lights; I stood at the threshold watching her move around her house checking the kitchen for gas leaks or whatnot. "What are you looking for?"

"Charlie's paranoid." She told me, walking up the stairs into her room. I glowered biting my tongue, a red blinking light caught my eye. "You have messages!"

"In the bathroom!" She informed me.

I had gotten used to moving around her things with familiarity hence not realizing that maybe I shouldn't have hit the _Listen_ button.

_"Hello Charlie, it's Dr. Carter. I just wanted to let you know that I'll be traveling out of town for a week and I won't be able to see Bella until after I get back. I've told her this already but I wanted to tell you personally. Have a good night."_ Click.

That was nice of her.

_"Hey Bella, I'm sure you're at the Cullens but maybe you're not?" _Rosalie Hale asked the machine brightly, _"Bella are you home?! Beeellllaaaaa! Ugh. You must be at the Cullens, I'm calling you there now." _Click.

She came back sounding pissed, _"so apparently you're at work and Alice went out to dinner with her brothers and Jasper- who's in town? YOU FORGOT TO MENTION THIS, BITCHES!_

_I know you'll get back to me by the time you hear this message but I just wanted to tell you 'THANKS FOR THE FUCKING INVITE!' You better hope I get the Christina ticket for next month or else I'm going to break Jasper Whitlock's pinky finger next time I see him." _I stared at the blinking red light, chuckling. Rosalie Hale had always been a spitfire, but something told me she would break Jasper's finger if she didn't land the ticket.

_I should mention that to him… also, note to self: get a third spa voucher just in case Bella decides to cash them in._

There was one more message to get through; I waited for it, _"Bella? I saw article about some police seminar and noticed your father's name on the speakers' list. I miss you, honey!" _Renee? Why the fuck is she calling now? _"I've been thinking… maybe I could come up to visit you before next Sunday? I really want to see you but I wouldn't want to make things awkward with your father since I want you and Phil to meet-" _Mom mentioned she married some guy named Phil last year but Bella doesn't talk about it at all.

I looked at the second landing, panicking. _Does she want to see her? Does she want to meet _him_? Fuck._

_"Um… ok… let me know alright? I can't wait! Bye sweetie!"_

Before I could think things through I heard her come out of the second floor bathroom and I hit _Delete_. "What did you say?"

"Nothing!" I told her, jumping out of my skin, "I listened to your messages, I'm sorry."

"It's ok," she shrugged, shifting her bag over her shoulder. She hadn't bothered to set it down when she walked in, "anything important?"

"No, no," I said quickly, walking out with her and feeling misting on my face, the rain was coming back. "Other than Rosalie being upset that Alice didn't invite her to dinner and how she's going to break Jasper's finger for not getting three tickets instead of two for the concert."

She laughed drily, "Jasper hadn't met Rosalie yet." She went to the Volvo, "let's go home." I sighed, a lie of omission was better than an outright lie, right?

_Another secret to add to the list._

* * *

**I know that once again, there was A LOT to take in but the everyone is playing the game more aggressively and it's only going to raise from now. And Bella is finally coming around! She only has one week to come to terms with everyone knowing, she better get ready! 'til next time, ~I.E.**


	19. Riders On the Storm

**I hope you all had a good holiday season, I have to say it was super fucking stressful at work but I had a great time with my family moreso than other years so I have no real complaints.**

**I'm on vacation 'til February and work is slowing down so I'll have more time to update quicker, not every single day but it'll be an improvement on the current schedule.  
**

**This is the last double-digit chapter (in length) until further notice since I'll have more time to update faster.**

**This chapter is... interesting to say the least. Enjoy :D**

* * *

The Doors- _Riders On the Storm_

* * *

_2003._

Edward started his car and headed towards the outskirts of town where his house stood. I clutched my bag to me, trying to not look too possessive. My present was inside and knowing how curious he was, I'd made sure to take it with me when I needed to use the bathroom.

"Are you still upset?" He asked me nervously, I could make him out but I couldn't focus on the details of his face. The lighting around us was fleeting and dull but I could hear the uneasiness in his tone.

"A little," I nodded sounding stiff. I was flattered he'd come down to pick me up but I didn't understand his fear towards my truck. _Bullshit, he told you he's jealous of Jacob!_

Oh right.

My subconscious exhaled, irate. _And you're supposed to be the logical one, sensible one._

"I'm sorry Bella, I just wanted to see you. I'm getting used to the new parameters around us and knowing that I'll only be here six weeks makes me want to take advantage of every minute."

"Ok but you didn't need to get physical with Mike."

"Well excuse me for wanting to defend my girlfriend from the town's biggest sleazeball." He scoffed. My heart fluttered nervously at the sound of that word on his lips. I flushed twisting my fingers around not knowing what to make of the realization that he and I were an actual couple now.

I'd never had a boyfriend, and the game with Edward had been my only experience with boys. I panicked not knowing how to act or what to do.

What was I supposed to do now?

I looked out the window at the passing storefronts and houses on a side street, I thought of the sappy Hollywood movies, dramatic and comical television shows and the romantic classical novels. I felt so out of my league I needed to get out of the steel box I was in and take a deep breath.

Edward watched me from the corner of his eye as he drove down the country road that would eventually lead us to his house.

"What are you thinking about?" He enquired shifting in his seat.

"Nothing much." I lied, my breath coming out in dry pants. "Do you think we could stop for a minute? I need a breath of fresh air." My voice was high and so unlike me, I felt like someone else was speaking.

"Sure." He sounded curious and pulled over, he parked the car and jumped out to open my door. I let him, taking a moment for myself.

"Are you alright?" He asked me giving me his hand so he could help me out. It wasn't raining but there was moisture in the air, I made a mental note to take a hot shower when I get home.

"I'm just a little overwhelmed." I decided to be honest with him, I needed to know how to act and who better to ask than my boyfriend?

"About?" He placed his hands on the sides of my face, studying me. His green eyes looked pitch black in the darkness but there was something behind them that made my skin prickle. It wasn't bad… but it wasn't good…

_Don't be ridiculous! You just can't see his eyes in the dim light._

"You being my boyfriend." I cleared my throat trying to remind myself why I'd panicked in the car.

"Oh." He dropped his hands, looking at me worriedly. "Is that bad?" He sounded shy and afraid.

"No," I shook my head, I've just never had a boyfriend before and I have no point of reference other than fiction."

"Oh." He nodded slowly taking in my confession. "Well if you feel any better I've never had a girlfriend."

"But you had a friend with benefits before." I spat walking away from the car and folding my arms as I stared at the silent forested lane. It was quiet and the rain had silenced the crickets and nocturnal wildlife. The earth was wet and fragrant, my favorite natural fragrance of all time. I would have enjoyed it if Edward and I weren't having a discussion.

"It was just oral sex and petting before," he sighed resigned, "there weren't… _feelings_ involved- not on my part anyway." He added quickly.

"Do you mean to say that she felt something for you?"

"It was lust baby," he stepped towards me, the wet soil shifting under his feet, "she just saw me as the biggest jewel in the town's crown and I eventually played into her hand." He told me ruefully.

"Arrogant bastard." I whispered, the jealousy biting against my throat.

"Bella," he spun me around, holding my arms so I wouldn't move, "I l-like you." The slip didn't go unnoticed; he looked at me red in the face. We both knew what he was about to say but was quick enough to correct himself.

I hugged him, wishing the awkwardness would go away, "I like you," he told me a second time with more conviction but with a slight edge, "I've liked you for a very long time and I was stupid to accept Tanya's advances but I'm here with you not her."

"I'm afraid that I might never _like_ you the way you like me." _Such an extensive vocabulary!_

Bitch.

_I'd rather be a bitch than a coward. _I scowled at myself but washed it away and focused on Edward.

"With time." He rubbed my arms up and down soothingly, "I'm not saying you and I are meant to be together but I really want to try something more. We promised we would try." He whispered, reminding me of the night before.

"We will."

"As for how to act like a girlfriend, let's think about that when we tell everyone." He cocked his head to the side, his dark eyes were shining mischievously. I rolled my eyes, "I'll need some pointers too, I don't know how to be a boyfriend."

The voice squealed in delight, I thought it was becoming a habit to which she gave me the bird. _Don't deny it, you love that word!_

The clouds rolled above us, lightening crashed in the mountains miles away but sounding close. "Let's go home now, I want to snuggle up with my blanket." I walked back to the car letting myself in. Edward growled sliding into his seat, "I may not know the fine details of how to be a boyfriend but you've got to let me open the doors for you."

"Why?"

"Because it's only natural I do it." He started the car and drove towards the house

"What year are we in? 1938?"

"Don't be a smart aleck." He laughed as the clouds let go of their water, the raindrops fell steady and fat on the glass, dancing towards the earth. I glanced at the car's digital clock and noticed it was past eleven. I grinned to myself, _almost time._

~.~.~.

We walked down the quiet darkened corridor towards our rooms, "I need a minute," told Edward who looked at me expecting to go into his lair of sorts.

"Remember our deal." He winked walking into his room slowly and deliberately. A shot of adrenaline coursed through my veins exciting me. The tension of our discussion was over and done with; I grinned relaxing a bit.

After finishing my nightly routine I knocked on Edward's door through the bathroom, biting my lip. It was just about to be midnight and I was buzzing with excitement. He opened the door and let me in, he was wearing black and green checkered pajama bottoms not bothering with a shirt. "You never wear pajama shirts do you?"

"No," he shrugged walking to his bed one step ahead of me, "I hate wearing them to sleep." _Hmmmm…_ My eyes raked his toned back, down towards his great ass, I licked my lips subconsciously. "I…don't want you to catch a cold."

He scoffed violently, "I won't get sick for getting misted on, trust me."

"But we were out in the cold for a while."

"Trust me baby, I've got this."

"What?" I put my hands on my hips, "you think you're a doctor now after two semesters at Dartmouth?"

"No," he laughed sitting on his bed and looking positively alluring rendering me momentarily stupid. He bent his right leg letting his left dangle off the bed. "But I know I won't get sick from a little water."

"Let's go to bed, I'm exhausted." He told me putting his toothbrush on his little green stand. I put mine on the blue stand on the other side.

I felt a thrill run through me as I ran into my bedroom, I glanced at the clock and noticed it was two minutes to midnight. _Perfect._

I grabbed the small simple gift in green paper and a gray bow and walked him to his room. "Bella you didn't-"

"Shut up." I looked at his clock and squealed when I saw there was less than a minute left. "I got you something small for right now but I promise I'm not done." I told him, taking a deep breath. I grabbed his hand and waited for the 12:00 to appear; I felt like it was New Year's.

"Aren't you forgetting the countdown?"

I giggled again, "great minds…" I looked at the clock just as it turned to midnight. "Happy birthday, Edward!" I threw myself on him and hugged him fiercely.

He returned the hug and laughed indulgently, "thank you love, I really appreciate it." He spun me around making me squeal, "you're going to wake them up!" I hit him playfully.

"And then maybe we can tell them?" He told me half hopeful, half teasing. I gave him a small smile not wanting to say no but not wanting to say yes.

He bent down taking my chin and tilting it forward and kissed me sweetly. The butterflies inside of me danced around me in a flurry, making my breath hitch and my heart begin to pound in my ears.

He pulled away his eyes were molten olive, dark and stirring. "Open your gift." I gasped handing him the present hoping to distract him. He took it but didn't open it, "I'll wait a little bit." He blew out noisily.

"Edward!"

"You can wait can't you?"

"Edward." I growled, he laughed taking my hand sitting us on his bed. I held my breath as he ripped the paper and gasped. "I hope you like it." I whispered shyly.

He looked at the _Rock 'n Roll Greatest Hits Collection _CD I'd bought him with glee, "I know you have all of these songs already in various forms but I bought it thinking when you listened to this particular CD you'd think of me." I told him feeling the familiar heat creep up my face.

He turned the CD to read the titles, everything from the Stones, Poison, Def Leppard, KISS to The Beatles, The Doors and Jimi Hendrix were listed.

"It even has _Welcome to the Jungle_!" He gasped, I nodded "and _Pour Some Sugar on Me_, _my_ favorite." I told him hoping he wouldn't think much of that tidbit.

"Yes, yes it does." He nodded, he turned to me kissing me earnestly; he took my breath away. "It's brilliant!" He breathed after we pulled away, "I want to listen to it now."

"Edward you'll wake your family!"

"I'll turn it down." He stood up and took the CD out of its casing only to put into his stereo. Even though he pressed _Play_ I couldn't make out the intro of the first song because it was recorded rainfall and the soft piano keys blended into the real rain outside of the window but soon the musical intro began. I knew Edward had a fondness for _Riders On the Storm._

The deep, intriguing voice of Jim Morrison filled the room becoming low in volume, Edward was turning it down. "I love this song." He whispered staring at the stereo. I grinned feeling self-pride all over, he turned around and walked to me. He was smirking lopsidedly making my heart flutter further.

"You like it?"

"Absolutely." He kissed me again and I relaxed in his arms. My new favorite place.

~.~.~.

**RPOV**

_This day is endless._ I thought to myself as I looked out my living room window, leaning on the head of the sofa. Emeniem was on repeat asking for the real Slim Shady. "Never gets old."

The rain drops hit my window endlessly. "It sucks living where it always rains all the time." I groaned getting up from the sofa with a grunt. My parents had gone to work, Dad in Seattle and Mom in Port Angeles.

The phone rang as I made my way out of the room. "Hale residence."

"Ro?" Bella Swan asked me sounding nervous.

"Oh sorry," I couldn't keep the sulkiness away from my voice, "Rosalie isn't here right now, she's out with her friends and didn't bother to invite you. Bye."

"Rosalie Lillian Hale!" She chided angrily playing right into my hand.

"What?"

"I'm sorry _Alice_ didn't invite you to dinner, I was at _work_." I rolled my eyes knowing where she was going with this, technicalities or not I was pretty fucking pissed Alice and Bella hadn't bothered to tell me about Jasper Whitlock visiting the Cullens again when the three of us knew how hung up Alice was on him.

"Well you could have told me about Jasper."

"We didn't know he was coming, he had a huge fight with his parents and he was suddenly here; Edward had no clue until he opened the door and there he was!" I could hear her urgency, I grinned knowing she knew she had a few seconds to make her case before I hung up on her.

"Hmm…" I played difficult knowing she was right. Bella Swan was not a good liar and I didn't sense any deception.

"Believe me bitch." She huffed, I knew my petulance was up. "Alright, alright I believe you." I chortled, she was so easy to rile up. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing," she sighed, "I'm at home by myself; I need to kill some time before I have to go to the Cullens and cook dinner."

"What do you mean?"

"It's Edward's birthday and I volunteered to cook his dinner," _Oh. _I gasped at the wall, glancing at Mom's _HomeGoods_' manufactured paintings of bright yellow and pink wildflowers. "You're doing _what_?"

"I want to be friends with Edward now-" she sounded agitated and rushed, I instinctively pushed the receiver to my ear wanting to hear her better, "and I asked Esme if I could take over… as a way to smooth things over."

"I see." I narrowed my eyes, grinning and wondering if finally she was going to have her eureka moment.

Edward Cullen had always been a jerk to Bella growing up. I would always defend her towards him and try and make her stand up for herself but Edward just laughed at me and she would shake her head and hide under the hood of her sweater.

Eventually she began to handle him on her own and I eased up watching them from the sidelines. My mother had once told me, "_there are two types of men in the world: one that hands you flowers and one that throws them at you."_

I'd first thought Edward was a grade-A douchebag but I'd noticed something different in the way he searched for Bella's ire. There was a different kind of spark in his eyes when he looked for the chink in her armor. Instead of angry spite there was playful mischievousness. She, of course was blind to this but I'd decided to keep my mouth shut and watch the floor show.

"What?" She asked defensively, "you don't believe me?"

"Oh no Bella," I lied trying to sound authentic, unlike her I was a much better liar. "I believe you I was just a little shocked."

"Oh." She sighed, "so come over for lunch," she sounded both relieved and bright, "I have the makings of turkey Paninis and I baked your favorite orange and cranberry muffins." My mouth watered automatically, "I'll be over in fifteen."

~.~.~.

"So how come you're over here?" I ask her as I take my final bite of my fuck-awesome muffin after eating an equally delicious turkey and avocado Panini.

"I told the Cullens I needed to run some errands for Charlie before coming home next Monday that way Edward would have no idea that I was in charge of everything." She blushed looking at her hands, I sipped my milk watching her intently.

"Oh." I nodded putting it down and smirking to myself.

"What?" She asked me guiltily.

"No, nothing." I let my answer drag on. "Tell me," she ordered me but I wasn't going to make it that easy. I shrugged taking the dishes to the sink. "I'll wash the dishes since you made us lunch." I tell her, she shook her head, "what is it?" I ask as I start loading the dishwasher.

"It's just that Emmett complained about the same topic yesterday when I told him to wash the dishes after I fixed them breakfast." _Emmett._ I sighed wistfully.

Call it a juvenile fascination but Emmett Cullen had always held my interest. He was polite, with a wicked sense of humor I'd only witnessed a few times and quietly intelligent. He was such a responsible older brother too, always looking after Alice and Edward.

He was tall and broad, his clear blue eyes reminded me of the idyllic Mediterranean postcards. He had really cute dark brown curls that framed his face, and his dimples… don't get me started on his dimples.

Gah! He was so cute, I just wanted to hug him and kiss him at the same time.

"So Bella," she spoke to herself, "how come you fixed them breakfast?... Oh because Jasper needed some comforting and I decided food was my way of doing so… oh that's interesting-"

"Ok stop." I laughed rolling my eyes, closing the dishwasher door, "I just zone out with Emmett sometimes."

"Who would have thought?!" She laughed staring at me, "badass Rosalie Hale, a sighing mess over a boy!"

"Watch it Swan," I grinned, "I'll be repaying the compliments when it happens to you." I told her half lying half hoping she would give in a little. I knew there was more to her asking me to over for lunch without Alice's presence.

"Um… the thing is…" I leaned in, blinking twice, "I…" She twisted her hands leaning over the counter beside the sink.

"Yeah?"

"Ok don't hate me!" She yells at me out of nowhere, turning around and marching to the middle of the small kitchen. "Why would I hate you?"

"Because Edward and I… we're together ok?!" She blurted out.

"What the hell?" I looked at her in absolute shock, "how did _that _happen?!" I figured there were sparks but to actually be together was astounding.

Bella sighed heavily, "sit down, it's a_long_ story."

~.~.~.

Alice called Bella an hour later and told her Edward had left for Seattle with the guys to return in the evening. "Ok let's go, I don't have time to waste." She grabbed her coat and walked out into the foyer. "Wait am I invited?"

"Of course you are," she rolls her eyes, "I bet you Alice is calling your house right now." I made for the phone quickly reminding myself to leave a message for my parents when they got back from work. The line was busy so Bella was more than likely right.

I listened to my messages and sure enough it was Alice asking me to join her family for Edward's birthday.

It was taking us half an hour to get to the Cullens because Bella's antiquated truck couldn't go beyond fifty five and we had to be extra careful with the rain and slippery roads. I told her it was pointless to have it but she just told me I was just like Edward and I preceded to fish for more details. "I can't believe you punched him when he kissed you." I laughed shaking my head.

"Hey I had no idea how to react! I was twelve for fuck's sake!"

"Does he kiss you with that mouth?" She blushed clearing her throat, "so tell me… does he talk dirty to you while you know…?"

"I told you we haven't done _it_."

"Not yet." I finished for her giggling and feeling excitement for her. Then I suddenly got an idea, "Bella," I started sweetly she looked at me for a moment with suspicion. I expected that. "Since you and Edward are together, do you think I have a chance with Emmett?"

Bella looked at me surprised, "don't you find it weird?"

"What?" My face fell and I felt insulted that she would think Emmett liking me was weird.

"Edward and I like each other and you like Emmett but we have Alice to contend with, and Alice likes Jasper but she has_Edward_ to contend with." I glanced at her and thought about it, "huh. I guess you're right. But do you think I have a real chance?"

She shrugged, "Alice announced to me that she was going to try her hardest to get Jazz to like her. Maybe you should do the same."

"Can you help me get Emmett alone without looking like I'm cornering him?" I felt hope that now that Bella was with Edward I had a comrade at arms.

"Absolutely, do you want me to talk to Edward?"

"No!" We reached the lane that lead to the Cullen estate, "let's do this alone and then if I see Emmett reciprocating we can ask Edward for his opinion."

"Ok." She nodded, I grinned at her feeling like I was walking on air, but remembering something crucial. "Not to sour the mood but I still stand by what I said." I tell her as the huge mansion comes into view, Bella sighed resigned, "I know I'm being selfish but I'm afraid of the backlash."

"You like each other, who the fuck cares what the townspeople think." Then suddenly I thought of English class, "you guys are the modern _Romeo & Juliet_ only that you were the Montagues and Capulets who morphed into Romeo and Juliet."

"Interesting observation Miss Hale," Bella told me in a fake professor voice, "you get an A for it."

"Thank you Professor Swan." I told her with a similar tone. She started to laugh out of nowhere but didn't explain when I asked her why she found it so funny, "I mean it's funny but not _that _funny!"

"Shush Hale," she parked the truck outside of the garage since it was filled with the Cullens' cars. We went through the garage into the kitchen and I noticed Emmett's Jeep was missing.

After greetings from Eliza, Mrs. Cullen and an annoyed Alice we got to work helping Bella run the show. I grinned to myself knowing I was the only one that knew exactly why she was doing this. By the looks of Eliza and Mrs. Cullen I sensed they had an inkling but Alice, like always, was blind.

I looked at Bella as she moved around the kitchen with rare confidence and command, she was in her element but there was something different. _A purpose I guess. _My eyes fell on Alice who was still asking for a detailed explanation as to why Bells was doing this. I sighed as turned the grilled artichokes and eggplant, thankful that I now had a companion in my quest to have Emmett Cullen even if it was a childish crush.

"Rose could you help me with the icing for Edward's cake?" Mrs. Cullen asked me from the kitchen table after she finished leveling the baked cake.

"Yes ma'am." I smiled as she and I went to work on Edward's lemon curd cake. I glanced at Bella who was popping the halibut into the oven; she had a self-satisfied smirk on her face. _This is going to be interesting._

~.~.~.

**EPOV**

"I'm telling you man, we should do this more often." Emmett told me as we walked the resident parking garage of his apartment building. The building was unassuming but it was obvious Mom her hand in choosing this place for Emmett, it had an understated luxury about it.

We'd spent the day in his apartment watching Quentin Tarantino movies eating pizza, Emmett had allowed me to only drink one which annoyed me since he used to drink before he turned twenty one. "How about next week?" Jasper asked, I was glad he and Em had blended together so well.

"Why not?" He slapped him amicably on the back surprising Jasper and knocking the air out of his lungs. I burst out laughing at the look of shock all over his face.

"Do you think Bella will allow you to?" Jasper gasped but sounding lively.

"Yeah you're on a leash now!" Emmett laughed going, we would take to Forks. "Shut up, Bella and I have been together a few days we haven't been together five years." Emmett unlocked his Jeep and we jumped on.

"We'll see." Emmett winked before driving towards the exit.

We arrived in Forks with enough time to clean up before my family dinner, Rosalie was standing in front of the main doors with her arms folded and looking expectant. She wore a thick sweater and had a folded umbrella in her hand. "Rose is here?" Emmett asked looking through his window with surprise.

He parked the Jeep outside since my Volvo was in in his spot. We eased out and walked up the stone steps, "happy birthday Edward." She told me when we reached her, "thank you Rosalie, are you waiting for someone to open the door?"

"No," she shook her head, "I was waiting for you." She looked at us but her eyes flickered to Emmett for a second, I noticed a very faint blush on her white skin. "Your mom asked me to wait for you and tell you not to go into the dining room yet, she's not done setting up and she wants it to look perfect- Alice is in the garage guarding the kitchen door."

Bella was sitting at the foot of the grand staircase looking tired, "hey-" I glanced at Rose and immediately changed my greeting, "-Bella how's it going?" She smiled and stood up, "good thanks."

"It's so odd," Rosalie told her, "seeing the two of you being friendly with each other." There was something in her voice that made me question if there was more to her comment. I looked at Bella who glared at Rose with indignation.

_Hmmm…_

"Go upstairs and get ready, Jasper we took the liberty to bring up some of your clothes so you don't have to go to the guest house." She cleared her throat and ignored Rosalie's self-satisfied smile.

"Ok." He answered jovially, "it smells delicious by the way." He told her who looked away blushing, I inhaled wondering if she'd baked my cake but instead of smelling sugar I smelled something else, something I knew I'd smelled before but I couldn't place it.

We went up and changed, the girls followed suit changing in Alice's bedroom and using the second floor bathroom. When they were changed- Rose borrowed one of Alice's dresses, they told us to wait in the living room.

We entered the living room and my parents had been waiting for us with Eliza, who carried a tray of champagne. The only times our parents ever let us drink was for our birthdays and New Year's; Eliza gave me a half a glass before dispersing the rest to the others. Emmett was the only one who had a full glass.

_Ugh. My parents are so straight-laced._ I thought of Bella and glanced at her who looked at me questioningly. I raised my glass infinitesimally and she smiled delicately doing the same. My smile grew larger, my heart missing a beat.

Six more days and I would have everything I wanted with her. An old feeling came back from the past, _she's finally paying attention to me._ I cleared my throat not being able to kill the triumph inside of me.

"I'd like to make a toast," my father said raising his glass, everyone but me did the same, he always made the same speech we reached a birthday, "I just want to tell you Edward how proud I am of having you as a son and I hope you achieve all of your goals and dreams."

"To Edward." Mom said sniffling; everyone answered her in unison, "to Edward!" I grinned weakly, for the first time in my life I felt embarrassed that everyone was looking at me. I looked up from the floor and met the eyes of Bella who smiled widely. The fact that Bella was the only one to not take a drink of champagne didn't go unnoticed but everyone knew Bella didn't drink. At all.

"I want to say something," she started but her voice cracked. I cocked my head to the side, "I just want to tell you Edward that I'm sorry it took so long for us to be friends." She cleared her throat not looking at anyone in particular, "and I hope that I make up for _everything_ tonight."

Everyone laughed lightly as if in on a secret which everyone technically was. "Let's have dinner shall we?" Mom asked nodding at Eliza who opened the doors to the dining room. The table was set up beautifully; Mom's best china and stemware were set surrounded by yellow lilies and green ivy.

"Wow Mom you went all out." I laughed, recognizing what had become my Mom's signature flower setup for me. Emmett's were tulips and Alice's were peach roses even though she preferred purple orchids.

"Sit down everyone." She told us as we all "ooh-ed" and "aww-ed," Mom nodded to Eliza who began serving dinner making sure I was the first one served. I could feel everyone tense up as she put down the dish with a modest flourish. I looked down at the perfect glazed halibut with white rice with grilled vegetables.

My head snapped to Bella who was looking at me with silent worry, "you did this?" I asked her incredulously, Eliza went on to serve everyone else.

Bella nodded mutely not knowing what to make of my question; I looked around at the table knowing smiles were all over. Some I knew for sure, Mom's and Rosalie's were now evident. They knew too but how much?

"Wow Bella, thank you." I told her desperately wanting to kiss her, she had gone above and beyond anything I would have imagined.

"Everyone helped." She was anxious to pull away from the limelight, "Rosalie really knows how to grill." She glanced at Rosalie who looked at the ceiling shaking her head, "and let's not talk about your Mom's great-"

"She did most of the work, didn't she girls?" Mom asked knowing full well what my girlfriend was doing.

Everyone laughed thinking the same thing, Bella looked down covering her face with her perfect hair. Everyone chortled but I was bit my tongue to quench the desire to drop everything and go out in the open.

I picked up fork and dug into the fish feeling how easy it was to take a bite. It was a thousand times better than _The Pacific Anchor_'s making me wonder how she'd managed it. I thought of our failed first date and remembered how long it took her to go to the bathroom and how she'd evaded my questions.

It made sense now; she must have sneaked into the kitchen and wrangled the recipe from the chef's hands. _Was that even allowed?_

"Oh my god." Mom gasped following my lead, everyone didn't speak instead they hummed and gave their quiet congratulations to Bella for cooking such a delicious entrée.

We finished the amazing dinner and moved on to my cake, Mom had iced it with simple white frosting while nineteen green candles stood alight. "It's a lemon curd cake on white," I glanced at Bella who smiled. "Bella and I exchanged duties today, I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not Mom." I laughed feeling myself redden, her knowing made me self-conscious. _You don't know that for a fact._ I scoffed inwardly, as if my mother wouldn't notice. How stupid I'd been in believing Bella and I were masters of deception.

_I have to sharpen my skills…_

We ate my very delicious cake and felt guilty I'd looked forward to Bella's baking rather than my Mom who was also talented in the kitchen.

"It's great Mom." Alice told her putting her fork down, Eliza had moved on to serving after dinner drinks, serving Dad a glass of bourbon while Emmett and Mom went for another glass of champagne. Everyone else asked for coffee.

"Shall we move on to the living room to give Edward his gifts?" Mom asked standing and taking her glass with her.

Everyone moved to the living room as they all brought out hidden gifts from behind the couches. Alice was first, she gave me a small box, "here you go." She grinned hugging me and kissing my cheek. "Thanks Pix."

"Open it now."

"Ok." I laughed ripping the matte dark brown wrapping paper, it was a model of a black Aston Martin V2 Vanquish, my dream car. "Wow." I gasped at the clear plastic case, it was state of the art and glossy.

"I had Dad order it from England but I paid for it just so you know." She clarified, I laughed hugging her, "it's beyond awesome!"

"My turn." Emmett told me as he handed me his own gray present it was thin and long, my curiosity piqued. "I hope you like this too," he handed me a poster-sized box and I unwrapped it. "Holy sh-"

"Edward." Mom warned me, "holy shenanigans Emmett." I edited stupidly everyone laughed at my improvisation. I looked down at a print of the first Guns 'N Roses' _Rolling Stone_ magazine cover. "Jasper told me how much you liked looking for photos and I thought of doing the same."

"This is incredible," I gasped, giving him a quick hug, "thanks bro I really mean it."

I opened my other presents, Mom and Dad gave me a brand new Nokia cellphone, I mentioned the pager Dad had gifted me but Mom laughed and rolled her eyes, "that's from your father. This is from the two of us."

Jasper gave me two blank airplane tickets telling me they didn't expire for two years, I couldn't help but wonder if he wasn't used to giving personal presents as a result of his hectic upbringing. Rosalie apologized for not getting me anything since she didn't know she was invited to the party but she promised she would make it up to me come next Monday. I told her I didn't mind but she didn't listen.

The phone rang and Eliza went to pick it up, "Cullen residence? Hello Eva how are you? Esme? Sure hold on a sec." Once she heard her name, Mom got up and went to take the call. Eliza handed her the phone and went back to sit in the sofa arm next to Bella.

"Eva, how are you?" She was jovial and polite, "yes she is." She glanced at Bella with a curious look. Eva Lindstrom was Bella's next door neighbor, a no-nonsense elderly woman who lived with a caretaker since her only son left her in Forks when he got married and moved to Omaha.

"Are you serious?" Mom turned away from us as if wanting to hide the phone and began whispering hastily.

I didn't want to impose but something in her tone made me wonder if something was wrong. Everyone in the room must have agreed with me because they began giving each other looks. _Do you really think you should be feeling guilty over listening to a semi-private phone call, especially after what you did?_ I cleared my throat and looked anywhere but at Bella, I knew that I would have to tell her about her mother calling and what I'd done sooner rather than later.

"Don't hang up Eva." Mom told Mrs. Lindstrom as she pressed a button on the phone and hung up, turning and glancing at Dad with fear.

"Is everything ok Esme?" Bella asked obviously wanting to know why Mrs. Nordstrom had asked about her.

"Yes honey, she just wanted to know if you were ok since she hasn't seen you in a few days." Mom glanced at Dad who got up and walked to her- Emmett, Alice and I looked at each other with suspicion. Something was definitely not okay.

"Darling," Mom told Dad in a less than nervous tone, "Eva wants to ask you something as her physician, therefore I think you should take the call in the office." Mom was an expert actress when it came to hiding things she didn't want her children to know but something big must have happened to break her smooth exterior.

"Thank you sweetie," Dad answered her with false cheerfulness, "I'll be right out." He told the rest of us and briskly walked into his office.

"I think we're finished here, why don't you go into the game room and watch some home movies showcasing Edward?" She clapped her hands and asked us with overenthusiasm, she made me think of Shari Lewis and Barney when they rounded up their onstage audience.

"No Mom," I groaned playing along but hyper aware of the closed office door on the opposite side of the dining room. "Not those again."

"Yes come on, come on, come on!" She wrangled Alice and Rosalie and walked them towards the entrance, "Eliza why don't you get us some popcorn and cool lemonade? I'll come help you once I pick out the movies."

"Sure." Eliza got up and went to the kitchen a little too quickly. Jasper and I were the last to walk out and we watched as Dad got out of the office looking agitated.

"Go on Edward." Mom told me stopping to speak to Dad, "I'll be right there."

I looked at them for nonverbal answers for an explanation but I knew I was fighting a lost battle, even though Mom had been caught off guard with whatever Eva Nordstrom told her she would still hold back to try and "protect" us.

Bella waited for me to catch up the them as we walked very slowly to the game room, "what's going on?"

"I have no idea."

Ten minutes later, we were in the game room disinterested in the baby videos Mom had popped into the VHS player. A four year old me running away from a waddling Alice… Emmett and I playing with my old Hot Wheels… Me stealing Bella's popsicle and making her cry after I ate mine… my sixth birthday party with a shy, introverted Bella crying because she didn't want to be on camera… Mom and Renee waving at the camera happily as I went head first into my cake and Dad putting down the camera before rushing to me and pulling me away as I grinned triumphantly at everyone, icing and chocolate cake all over my face, hair and sharp child suit.

This was one of my favorite memories but instead of focusing on my efforts to hog my cake, my blood boiled at the memory of Renee and the guilt I felt for erasing the message and hiding it from Bella dissipated when I looked at her as she looked at the floor in pain.

"Wow Edward," Jasper commented with a slight edge to his voice, everyone was trying to ignore the two elephants in the room but it only made things more awkward. "You were a greedy son of a lady." He told me trying to be funny and not offend my mother who even though was not in the room, probably intimidated him now. I inwardly grinned because once one felt intimidated by Esme Cullen, they would always be under her spell.

_Welcome to the club, sucker._

"I know," I laughed mirthlessly, "what's mine is mine." My voice faltered when my eye caught my six year old self playing Mozart. Everyone fell silent as _he_ moved his hands and hit the ivories, I'd completely forgotten Mom used the same tape to record my lessons. She would always pause it there and move on to the next one when we watched together as a family.

_"My little protégée-"_ I grabbed the remote and ejected the video without pausing. "Let's move on to the next video."

"Why? I want to hear how you sounded when you were a kid." Jasper told me from the loveseat that he was sharing with Alice. "I want to see how you got this go-" We could make out the ring of the bell on the other side of the house but I was too preoccupied with changing the subject to wonder who was visiting.

"Maybe later." I hushed him, everyone else looked everywhere but me. They knew that my playing was taboo. What I didn't want everyone to know was that I'd started playing last month after Jasper and I stumbled into a music store on a frat party that we'd been invited to courtesy of one of my lab partners. It had been finals week and Jazz and I had decided we needed a night to blow off some steam.

I drank a little too much and mused out loud if I could still play like I used to. I managed to handle my tipsiness and walked in as coolly as possible, the attendant was a girl around my age and it'd been easy charming her into letting me play the display piano. I knew I had a certain pull with girls but I very rarely used that power to get my way so hearing me flirt with a girl had shocked Jasper and I.

The attendant jumped to tune the piano for me as I grinned stupidly. She was a petite blonde with hazel eyes making me think of how Alice would look with long blonde hair.

She told me the piano was ready and I sat down and thought about what I wanted to play. Mozart's _Sonata No. 10_ in C Major started to play somewhere in the room when I looked down at my fingers and was happily- drunkenly- surprised that I was the one playing it. I missed one or two keys but everything flooded back from the past as if opening the door of an overly stuffed closet.

I left feeling mightily proud of what had occurred and came back the next day with a hangover no less, but I was able to play the same piece with more precision.

"Let me see her!" We all stood up when Renee Higginbotham burst into the game room with a tall bewildered younger-looking man. My parents and Eliza were right behind them, she looked aggravated while my father and Eliza looked troubled.

"Mom?" Bella asked the thin, dirty blonde woman that I had come to despise.

"Isabella." Her eyes fell on her, melting her anger as she opened her arms out to her.

"Bella." I automatically and childishly corrected. I wondered idly if it was because we'd just been watching home movies that the old pride of having "named" her suddenly came back. Renee blinked at me like a deer caught in the headlights; she looked at me up and down in surprise, "Edward." She gasped, "you're so… tall."

"Ms. Higginbotham." I dared not call her Mrs. Swan not only because she'd divorced Chief Swan but also because she'd never really taken on the role of loving wife and mother.

"Get out Renee." My mother told her sternly.

"Not before I talk to her." She spat back, turning to her and back. "Wh-what are you d-doing here?" Bella asked her legs giving out. Everyone around her jumped immediately to hold her. Being seated next to her, Rosalie was the one to grab her first.

"I came to see you and introduce you to Phil." The delusional woman told her happily, "didn't you get my message?" _Fuck!_ I looked at Bella who looked at the woman with a questioning frown. "I wanted you two to meet since we got married two years ago but with Phil getting drafted into the minor-"

"You've seen her," Mom interrupted her stiffly, "she's fine. She's met your _husband_," she said with complete disdain, "now get out of my house." Renee looked at her with indignation, "you can't tell me what to do."

"The hell I can!"

"Esme," Dad put his hands on her arms to cool her down, but she pulled away violently. I was taken aback since I'd never seen Mom lose her cool like this.

"No Carlisle, who the fuck does this bitch think she is?!" _Woah, my mom cussing? Holy fuck._ "You _never _listened to me!" She pointed a finger at Renee who took a step back, "I _told_ you not to get married to Charlie, I _told_ you to leave for New York or Tinbuktu or where ever the fuck you wanted but _noooo_ you said Charlie wanted you to stay and get married! And what did I tell you then?"

She was obviously asking a rhetorical question but I doubted Renee could answer since she was planted on the spot, terrified with her mouth open "-that you were making a huge mistake! That you would destroy Charlie's life down the road because you weren't sure you loved him and you had greater ambitions!"

"You-"

"Shut the fuck up!" She threw her hands in the air looking like she was about to deck her and have her for dinner. I looked at Emmett who stared at Mom with childish wonder, Alice's mouth was on the floor, Rosalie looked like she wanted to join her and Jasper watched with shock and worry.

Bella on the other hand was leaning on Rosalie for dear life, all of her color was gone and she looked like she was about to faint. _Is she going into shock?_

I grabbed her taking everyone by surprise, "Dad I think she's going into shock." I told my father calmly who looked at me with confusion but his doctor persona kicked in almost instantaneously. "N-n-no I-I'm not." Her teeth chattered as she grabbed my hand and leaned into me, she was ice cold and clammy, _more symptoms._ I put my arm around her wanting to protect her from this, from _her_. Dad took his penlight out and watched her pupils dilate, "let's take her to the living room, Eliza get my kit and meet us in the guesthouse."

"Don't! You can't keep her from me!"

"Back off lady!" Emmett roared, everyone's neck snapped to him, he looked positively massive standing at full height and ready to rumble. Phil instinctively stood in front of Renee but looked slightly daunted, Emmett ignored him. "You have no right to her anymore."

"Emmett how dare-"

"No, how dare _you_?! You sent her on evening runs to the store when she was a little girl! It might be fucking Forks but one never knows! And then I go and pick up Alice to find Bella walking home and alone and then I offer to drive her home only to find a fucking _note_ telling her you went for a '_walk_'!"

Renee looked at the floor shame-faced, Bella started convulsing in my arms, her breathing was shallow and harsh. "Edward." She gasped looking at the floor, she was remembering that day. I wanted to punch Emmett for his tactlessness but I knew he hadn't meant any harm.

"It's ok baby, I'm here." I clutched her to me, kissing her temple, she gripped me with force but I ignored the pain. I looked at Dad, "we need fresh air but it's raining outside."

"It's ok, we'll go to the guest house, she'll be away from the _issue_ and she'll have room to breathe." Dad helped me guide her asking Eliza to come with us. No one questioned us as we moved her out, I felt Jasper walk behind us like a bodyguard.

"Bella!"

"Don't bother her!" I heard Alice pipe up but wanting to focus on Bella I zoned out the yelling, we walked down the hallway turning towards the back entrance, we took some umbrellas from the stand next to the door and Dad sheltered me and Bella from the rain as we walked out into the backyard.

We went inside the medium-sized house and sat her down in the living room. Dad asked me and Jasper to give him some room as he worked to stabilize a frantic Bella. "No, don't go." She told me extending her arm, I looked at Dad who nodded giving me permission to sit next to her. She hugged me as he worked around me. "It's ok love, everything is going to be ok."

"Why is she here? Why?"

"I'm not sure."

"She left. She _left_."

"I know, I know." I looked at Dad who gave me a knowing look but he was still in doctor mode, I knew he would want to talk to me about this when the storm passed. _Good, because I want to talk to him too._

~.~.~

Dad had managed to calm Bella down but he was afraid of Renee's continued presence in the main house so he asked Bella to sleep. She fell asleep in one of the empty bedrooms and Dad told me to return to the house to see if Renee was still there.

"But what about Bella?"

He shook his head. "Don't worry, Eliza and I will stay with her here until Renee leaves, it's obvious Bella isn't ready or willing to see her so it's just a matter of waiting for her to leave."

"We can call the police."

"And have them find out about Renee? You know they would call Charlie in a heartbeat and I don't want to worry him just yet. Let's stabilize the situation before alerting him." Eliza came out of the bedroom looking down. "How is she?"

"She's sleeping restlessly, Renee is the most selfish and clueless woman I have ever known." I looked at Dad, wanting to make it all stop; Bella didn't deserve a woman like that for a mother.

"We can't do much, just go and use the tie-in to let me know what's going on."

"Come on Edward," Jasper told me quietly, he hadn't said a word since coming down with us. I looked at him ready to argue but the look he gave me made me second-guess my rebuttal. "Fine but we're not done!" I looked at Dad and stormed out into the actual storm. It was totally dark now and the rain pelted the ground as strong winds whipped around.

When I got to the house I walked with determination towards the game room. They weren't there. "Living room." Jasper told me making me hone in on distant voices in the direction of the main part of the house. I wordlessly made my way out and sure enough everyone was in the foyer of the house.

"You left them Renee! You left her; how could you possibly think she wants anything to do with you?!" My mother yelled, both angry and bewildered.

"I wasn't happy with her _father_, I love my daughter so much I would do anything for her!"

Without realizing it I started to laugh, the guilt I felt for deleting her message disappeared completely. Everyone turned around to see me standing behind them, I only had eyes for that woman though. Silence fell over the room, no one making a sound. Those who knew my new role expected a response and I wasn't going to disappoint.

"So you'd do anything for her, huh?" My voice was dry and unattached, "tell me, Ms. Higginbotham, in what world does one abandoning their family because of their selfish dissatisfaction mean they would do anything for their child?"

"Edward-"

"No, you have no fucking clue do you?" I took a step forward and like the Red Sea, they parted so I'd be closer to that woman. "_You_ made the decision to leave; whatever reason, _you_ walked away from everything- especially Chief Swan who didn't deserve you and Bella who you helped bring into this world."

"You have no idea what I went through-" she spat angrily, "I thought I loved him enough to forget everything I wanted. I wanted to be a powerful attorney and gave that up for him." She glared at me, full of spite and old fury. I stood my ground though; she had no right to demand anything. "And then she came and I was stuck, I was stuck with the life I had tried to avoid-"

"You _married_ him!" Mom screamed incredulously, "I told you not to-"

"Everyone makes mistakes don't they!" She fought back looking at my mother with condescension, "I thought I could have the best of both worlds, I thought I could be the successful lawyer and be the happy homemaker at the end of the day!"

"Are you stuck in the fucking seventies or what?"

"Shut the fuck up Esme, no one has _your _luck." She took a step towards my mother, I knew this argument had taken a different road, "not everyone is born into a wealthy family where they don't have to lift a finger to get everything they want; not everyone can be the most popular girl in school and have all the boys fawn over her; not everyone can named Homecoming, Winter and Prom Queen, I wasn't as lucky to find such an eligible man like Carlisle," she pointed in my general direction, "no one is so lucky as to have perfect, beautiful children who fit into regular sized clothes or have friends or even a boyfriend-"

"Hold up," I put my hand out not wanting her to finish her sentence, part of me was surprised that Renee had held such contempt for my mother but then again something about it wasn't news to me.

"I won't comment much on the envy you've held towards my mother because-well she's pretty awesome and I agree with you." Renee pursed her lips at me and I heard a stifled giggle somewhere behind me, "but I will tell you something that I know a lot about. You _do _have a perfect, beautiful child that _does_ fit into regular sized clothes- Bella isn't fat, she's curvy. She may not look like Cindy Crawford, Brooke Shields or Kate Moss but she's gorgeous.

"You know how many times I've had to tell her that no one cares about her imperfections? Do you really think that fitting into a size 2 automatically makes people happy?" I scoffed, "you're delusional if you do."

"What do you know about women and body issues?" Renee asked me, obviously shocked that I was so openly aggressive towards her. To her I'd just been the Cullens' brilliant, rebellious middle child but one that would never be so verbal against her.

"Not a lot," I admitted, "but then again I've just started my medical school career and I'm sure I'm going to study that particular subject a lot." Renee leered glancing at my mom. "Medical school huh?"

"Yes, I plan to be a doctor, is there a problem with that?"

"No," she folded her arms with false humor in her voice, "no problem at all."

"My point Ms. Higginbotham-" _is that you're a fucking bitch and your only redeeming quality is the fact that you brought Bella into this world._ "-is that although I don't know much about the subject I do know where your daughter stands. She's still haunted by your words, your comments and your rejection even with weekly visits to one of the state's best psychiatrists. But don't worry-" I added quickly not giving her a moment to answer, "I'll make sure to help Dr. Carter out, I'm sure I can do a few things to convince Bella of just perfect she is."

"My Bella is a great kid but I wouldn't call her perfect, not yet anyway. That's why I want her to consider moving with Phil and I to Phoenix."

I heard Alice and Mom gasp behind me, I panicked for a second but regained my composure quickly. Bella would never agree such a thing…

"Well _my _Bella is sweet, intelligent, witty as fuck, ambitious and independent. I doubt you'll make her do anything she doesn't want to do. And as far as your proposition goes, don't hold your breath. I doubt she'll accept."

"I wouldn't be so sure. Phil and I could give her the warmth and love she's missing with living with Charlie. I'm sure he leaves her behind to work his twelve hour shifts and what-not." She told me, overconfident.

"That's where you're wrong Renee," Mom told her coming to stand next to me, "when you left Carlisle and I offered Charlie the guest house but being the proud man that he is he declined. Although he did accept to give Bella a room in the main house and that's where she sleeps when he's away at the station for more than a day. When you left, I took her in and she accepted."

"You have to own everything don't you?" Renee jeered at my mother with jealous disdain.

"No," Mom shook her head, "I don't own Bella but she has since stopped being your child, I am more of her mother than you."

Renee let out an angry, hurt growl and lunged herself at my mom. I was close enough to jump in time to block her as Phil jumped up and pulled her away. Everyone behind me gasped as Emmett stood on the other side of Mom, "get out of my fucking house now!" She yelled pointing at the huge doors.

"Let's go Renee, everyone is too excited to do anything right now." Phil told her in a soothing voice as he grasped her arms. She didn't move, instead she stared at Mom with wild anger, "you won't take my daughter away. You won't have that."

"You lost her the second you went for your walk." I told her not wanting my mother to be exposed to her venom, "why don't you go ahead and continue your walk with your husband. I'm sure you need the exercise more than Bella."

"I'm not done, I _will_ speak to her sooner or later." She warned me as Phil opened the door to leave.

"And we'll be here to pick up the pieces… again." I went for the door and waited for them to leave, "thank you for coming over on my birthday, you've made it unforgettable."

Renee looked at me with unguarded surprise but quickly exchanged it with a scowl before going back to Mom, "I guess birthdays aren't my thing."

"Get out Renee, I won't tell you again." Mom was visibly wound up and was waiting to spring loose, she wasn't kidding when she warned her. Without another word Renee walked out and waited for Phil to open their umbrella. They had parked a dark blue Toyota Camry in front of the steps to the house.

I watched them get in the car and drive off, not knowing if they were going into town or otherwise. I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding in and turned around to face my family. They all stared at me with fascination and wonder, waiting for an explanation.

"Mom," _this is not how I wanted it to happen_, "Bella and I are dating." Alice gasped violently; covering her mouth with both hands, everyone else looked at me with knowing relief. Mom grinned wryly, "ok sweetie." I nodded once and walked out, I wanted to see how she was doing.

_Bella is going to skin and feed me to the dogs when she finds out. _

_Fuck me._

* * *

**I've been wanting to write Rosalie for awhile but for one reason or another, she got pushed back but I'm glad I was able to incorporate her into this chapter. Renee was pretty fun to write because she's so fucking delusional ;) ****~I.E.**


	20. Simple & Clean

**So I hurt my left wrist doing something at work soon after I updated and even though it wasn't broken it hurt like a bitch every time I moved my hand. Its fine now hence the update, but please don't think I didn't mean what I said about quicker updates. I'm sorry :(**

* * *

Utada Hikaru- _Simple & Clean_

* * *

**APOV**

_2003._

"Were you really surprised? Really?" My brother Emmett asked me while my nanny, Eliza handed me a glass of cool lemonade. Edward had just announced to the family that he and one of my best friends, Bella Swan were dating after he took on her ridiculous cowardly mother. My own mother had excused herself soon after taking a healthy swig of Dad's best whiskey and calling Mrs. Lindstrom and telling her to keep the Renee thing under wraps until she informed Charlie.

"I'll go check up on Bella." She told us as she hung the phone.

Everyone had stood speechless, staring at Mom as she drove herself frantic but as soon as she was out of sight we all woke up a la the gargoyles in _The Hunchback of Notre Dame_. My nanny, Eliza handed me a glass of cool lemonade after we all went to the living room.

"I can't believe this!" I yelled out, taking the opportunity before anyone else. They all glared at me surprised, "you _are_?" Rose mimicked me.

"You're _not_?" I asked her incredulously. A very small part of me was not surprised but I didn't want to admit it to myself. It was practically impossible to imagine Edward and Bella as an item. They were oil and water, coexisting but never mixing- they hated each other, couldn't be left alone without coming back to see verbal and emotional carnage. "I thought they hated each other!"

"There's a fine line between love and hate." Rose shrugged taking her glass and napkin, she sat beside Jasper Whitlock- my crush and Edward's best friend, he leaned back folding his right knee over his left leg looking thoughtful. _Le sigh..._

"So you expected it?"

"Of course," Rose nodded looking at Emmett and Jasper expectantly; I turned to Emmett who sat with me in the largest sofa, he looked at her curiously. "What's all this?" I asked motioning between the three of them.

"Nothing Pix," Emmett shook his head sounding nervous, "listen we all had our suspicions about those two, I'm more surprised that you didn't figure it out by yourself." Eliza came to sit behind me putting her hands on my shoulders soothingly.

I turned to her hoping to find a partner in her, "did you see it Eliza?" She gave me a weak smile non-verbally answering my question. I turned to Jasper, he mirrored her sheepish expression. "Mom?" I looked to Eliza and Emmett feeling a new sense of embarrassment. I didn't want Jasper to think I was foolish.

"Your mother has always held on to the belief that they might find each other in the future." Eliza told me softly, "your father, Emmett and I," she looked at Emmett guiltily, "have had an inkling since you were kids but we didn't voice it until last year-"

"-and had a bet going for when they would realize they liked each other." Emmett finished, unapologetic. Rose smirked into her napkin, Jasper shook his head trying to look disapproving but failing miserably when he started to chuckle.

"Seriously?" I was in shock, not because of Dad or Emmett but I would have never imagined Eliza getting in on a bet.

"Yes." Emmett nodded sipping his lemonade, "honestly Alice," he told me exasperatedly, "how could you _not_ notice?"

"Shut up." I huffed folding my hands childishly. I cleared my throat when I realized Jasper watching me. If I was going to try and get him to fall for me I had to stop acting like a little girl and begin acting like an older-woman type- sophisticated and aloof like Angelina Jolie sans the blood vials and shit.

_First thing's first._ "Edward's going to mess this up." I stated getting up and going towards the back of the house. "Where are you going?" Rose asked following suit.

"I'm going to get an explanation from Bella herself; how could she not tell us before about her secret relationship with Edward?"

"Not now Alice, she still needs room to breathe." Emmett said somewhere behind me, apparently they'd all decided to follow me. "Mom's in there and so is Edward. I just need her to explain-"

"Alice," I stopped dead in my tracks for two reasons. One: Jasper had been the one to speak and two: he grasped my hand. I turned around shocked for a second, I stared at his hand before looking up at him. "Rosalie and Emmett are right, Bella needs to gather her thoughts and I'm sure your inquisition will only add to her tension and imminent break down." _Ouch._ I winced away at his words.

I didn't dare look at his face, he hadn't taken any prisoners in setting me straight. "I'm really sorry," he told me guiltily coming close to my face trying to catch my eye. "I don't mean to be rude but even though I can't say I've ever been through what she has, I can understand her pain. It's not easy dealing with parental rejection and false love."

"I just want to-"

"Don't be selfish Alice." Emmett told me weakly adding on. I swallowed the shame and nodded, _selfish much?_ We'd reached the backdoor to the garden and I stared at it for a moment. I sighed, I had so many questions and angry retorts but I knew Bella must be going through hell. How many times did she cry at night over her mother?

_"She left because of me, Alice."_

_"No she didn't, Bella. She left because she wasn't happy-"_

_"No, she left because I'm not as outgoing and skinny as you. She always wanted someone like you for a daughter."_

_"Bella-"_

_"I can't Alice, I can't be like you. I'm afraid of what they'll say if I talk to them and I can't lose weight! Diets don't work on me because I'm broken!"_

_"You're not broken Bella!" _I'd panicked when she told me that, it scared me to think that she believed herself to be broken when I saw the exact opposite, she took Renee leaving better than I would have ever done so had it been my mom. _It gives me chills just imagining something like that._

Bella was like that sister I didn't have. Emmett and Edward had each other whilst I was practically alone. I would see Emmett and Edward being silly with each other, having their own secrets and not letting me join in, making me want to have the same thing with someone else.

My desire to have the same relationship drove me to insist on a shy Bella to the point of stalker-like insistence. I eventually succeeded but only after Mrs. Swan left her and her Dad. Bella shut down even more so than before but I somehow managed her to not fully close.

Rosalie began hanging out with us without much of an effort and we became a trifecta. If I'd been the one to stop Bella from shutting down, Rosalie pulled her out as I held on because Rose wasn't the type to allow anything of the sort.

"I'm sorry." I stared at the floor in absolute shame.

"It's ok kid," Emmett came over and bear-hugged me, "Bella will explain everything as soon as she calms down." _Why do they all sound so…_

I pushed Emmett away glaring at him even though he towered over me, "you knew didn't you?" I hissed. He blanched staring at me for a second but then turning to Jasper, he cleared his throat, "I told you already Alice, we had a bet going-"

"No," I shook my head while glancing at a guilty Jasper, a surprised Eliza and a blasé Rosalie. "You speak as if she's already explained it to _you_."

"Um…" Emmett broke like cheap glass, _works every time._

"What the fuck!" I yelled feeling betrayed. How could Bella tell them and not _me_ beforehand?! She was supposed to be _my_ best friend, not to mention the fucking fact that she was dating my fucking _brother_.

I shivered just thinking about it. The guilt I'd felt before disappeared and I rushed out before they could stop me. It was still raining and completely dark, I ran out not bothering with an umbrella reaching the guest house before anyone could catch up to me.

"I need to talk to Bella now." I told Dad who stared at me as I tried to catch my breath.

"Alice-" He was interrupted by Emmett and the others.

"Dad, she owes me an explanation." I crossed my arms and looked at Dad defiantly. I was beyond hurt, how could she keep something so big from me? Wasn't I supposed to be her best friend? She knew everything about me, now I just felt like a fool for being so trusting of her.

"Not now Alice, Edward and your mother are in there with her. She can't have any un-"

"What's going on out here?" Mom entered the small early colonial living room.

"Mom, I need to speak to Bella; how could she not tell me about her and Edward?!"

"Alice you are being extremely self-centered right now, I can't believe that is what you took away from everything that's happened today." Mom reprimanded, I felt guilty once again but I squashed it. "I sympathize with her, Mom," I said feeling my eyes well up, "but how could she keep such a huge secret from me?"

"It's not like you were oblivious to it, darling," my father said reasonably, "I'm sure you saw it-"

"Unlike all of you," I huffed, "I _didn't._ I mean, they would argue every chance they got and would call each other names all the fucking time- no Mom you can't correct me especially since you cussed out Renee less than fifteen minutes ago!" I shot back at her disapproving glare which turned into one of quiet resignation.

"Alice you are a piece of work." Emmett chastised behind me, I turned to him, flipping him off. Eliza, Rosalie and Jasper stared at me with worry, anger and surprise respectively.

"If Bella has a nervous breakdown because of you," Mom warned me, "I-"

"No, it's ok." Bella's quiet voice stopped anyone else from trying to talk me out of seeing her. We all turned to her as she made herself in, Edward had his arm protectively around her waist. This was something I found absolutely alien and foreign to me.

"Bella-" I started but she put her hand up before I could finish. "Let me explain it to you Alice." She said pulling away from Edward who looked at her uncertainly. I wanted to laugh reproachfully, how the fuck was I supposed to believe that one moment they hated each other to the next they cared for the other?

"Yes it's true," she nodded as if answering a nonverbal question; "Edward and I couldn't stand each other growing up-" Edward scoffed looking away but catching Bella's eye to which they both grinned knowingly. _What the fuck? They even have their own secret language?_

"But then things began to shift," she blushed looking at the floor, he grinned devilishly making me both curious. "Edward still annoyed the hell out of me but- I don't know…" she dug into the carpet, hiding further behind her hair. I also couldn't ignore the expectant tension suddenly rising from everyone else; we all hung on her every word.

"It became muddled…" Edward bent down to meet her gaze, he spoke soothingly as if trying to fish something out of her.

"Yes," she cleared her throat, turning away from him abashed. "Oh, I don't know-" she huffed looking at everyone but him who grinned smugly to break into equally self-satisfied laughter. Bella turned to him angrily, "jerk." I felt a nervous wave rise when she said this.

"You love it." He shot back arrogantly; Bella's eyes flashed signaling her mind working towards a comeback, I panicked- part of me knowing this would happen. "See? This is bad, very _very_ bad." I moved to them as Edward glared at me. "You two are just _not _compatible, you'll tear each other apart like a pair of rabid wolves." _And then I won't have a best friend anymore._

Both of them became defensive, subconsciously inching towards each other preparing against an enemy army. I stood back, something like this was practically impossible; _Edward and Bella as a united front?_

"It's true," he began glaring at me with quiet anger, "Bella and I _didn't_ get along- notice the past tense Alice?" He shot at me, I pursed my lips wanting to rebuttal but I knew he wouldn't allow even a peep out of me until he told me off, "but we get along just fine _now_- do you know the difference between past and present tense?" I flared, _what the fuck?_

"Edward." Bella and Mom reprimanded in unison, the former was cautious while the latter was reproachful.

"No it's ok." My voice came out high-pitched and indignant, "let him finish, I want him to get it out before I make my case."

"Why is it so hard for you to accept it while everyone else expected it?"

"Because you have Emmett." It came out before I could stop it.

"What?" He looked at me completely confused.

"When we were kids, you and Emmett were inseparable to the point of excluding me from your games and activities," memories of them playing with their toy cars and toy swords, going on excursions into the surrounding woods without even bothering to ask me if I wanted to go. "I had no one, except Eliza and Mom of course but it wasn't the same thing."

I felt the mood shift in the room to one of surprise, "you two would talk to me, yes but it wasn't the same thing and then," I looked at Bella who looked at me as if seeing me for the first time, "I met Bella and I saw similar loneliness and I figured 'hey she's just as lonely as me; I bet we can be best of friends and we'll both have what Emmett and Edward have'. I was even angry at the fact that you had similar initials."

"Why didn't you tell us this before, honey?" Dad asked me coming up to me and putting his hands on my shoulders. I shrugged trying not to look at him in the eyes, _I'm over it now, I'm done being lonely._

"I didn't want you to overcompensate."

"Alice," Edward had softened and now looked ashamed and self-deprecating, he glanced at Emmett behind me, "I'm so so-"

"I know." I sighed hating the feeling of everyone feeling bad for me, this had been the reason I hadn't told them before, I didn't want them to see me as weak and small.

"Pix-"

"I _know_ Emmett," I told him pulling away from Dad. "If you," I turned to Edward who looked pained, "and Bella become a _thing_ you'll ruin what I have with her because you two are so mismatched." The anger was back in Edward's stance but not as intense. "That and it's weird to have my best friend date my brother and vice versa." I couldn't help the petulance escape my addition, but seriously the after-thought freaked me out.

"I get it." Edward responded, he was obviously trying to absorb my confession. "I understand everything you're trying to convey but I'm sorry Ali, I can't do what you're asking."

He glanced at Bella who looked at him with a guilty look on her face, "no," he told her, "no, no no. Don't you dare feel guilty for what Emmett and I did or didn't do."

"If you two fight or break up," I rushed out knowing my selfishness was insurmountable but it was a case of fight or flight, "what's going to happen to Bella and I? She might be so heartbroken that she might cut all ties because of the bad memories."

"You don't know if that's going to happen!" He told me. "You're speaking as if it's bound to happen but you can't see the fucking future."

"But it might!" I threw back.

"You don't know though." Bella answered quietly before Edward who looked at her with unbelievable relief.

"Bella-" I began but someone behind me interrupted me.

"Is it really that bad?" Everyone turned suddenly to Jasper who stood the furthest away from the group. He stared openly at me with detached curiosity, I blinked at him madly, not knowing what to think of what he was asking let alone that he was calling me out yet again.

"I-I-I don't know… what you mean."

"Don't you?" He'd been leaning against the back wall, kicking off as he spoke. "You've confessed to your sense of sibling neglect, _that_ must have been difficult to overcome but you have because you were able to admit it so openly and unaffected." He looked at me with growing curiosity, I began to redden at both the realization that he was looking at me- I internally cheered and but I shrunk at the intensity of his microscope.

"-but why can't you admit to yourself and part of the cause," he glanced at Edward identifying him as the subject of his question, "why exactly it would be unimaginable for this relationship to work?"

"I-I-" My mind raced, _because I'm afraid of him ruining something that's mine. He has Emmett, I was supposed to have Bella and now Rosalie. _

_And I don't want to lose what I already have._

"Because what guarantee do I have that Bella won't forget our friendship once Edward ruins their relationship." I glared at Edward icily who returned the stare.

"You speak as if I'm out to break her heart." He gritted his teeth.

I laughed just as coldly as our glares, "you used to push her down slides, throw mud in her face, pick on her for no apparent reason before she started fighting back! Might I remind you of the Gryffindor/Slytherin Debacle of 2001?!"

He blinked at me and then turned to Bella who glanced at him before both smiled arrogantly at each other. "I wouldn't call it a 'debacle'," he told me but then he turned to Bella, "I thought we agreed to name it a debate."

"Yeah," she nodded, "it's supposed to be the Great Gryffindor/Slytherin Debate of 2001 Otherwise Known As-"

"-As The Day Bella and Edward Argued for Three Hours without A Pause." Edward finished the incredibly long, useless and stupid title.

It'd happened after coming home from watching _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_ in theaters. It'd started over the title and how they'd chanced the title from _Philosopher's _to _Sorcerer's _for the sake of American audiences.

That was fine but then Edward was stupid enough to mention how interesting it would be if he were Sorted into Slytherin- Bella, a total Gryffindor purist was shocked and hence they launched into this unbelievable argument about Good versus Bad versus conventional ideologies of the western fucking world.

"It was just a book!" I yelled at them but they completely ignored everyone around them as if in their own _Potter_/philosophical/psychological world.

"I still stand by what I said," I told them in the present.

"What's that?" Bella grinned stupidly annoying the crap out me.

"It's just a fucking book."

Bella and Edward gaped at me, looked at each other and then back at me. _Ok this is getting really annoying._

"You were very into this 'fucking' book while you were reading it." Bella huffed.

"Shut up." My skin prickled for more than one type of embarrassment. "But that argument serves my point, you're Gryffindor and Edward is Slytherin."

"Are you calling me evil?"

"You were a fan of that House." I folded my arms, self-satisfied.

"I was a fan because it was different; no one is perfectly good; that was my point by the way." He spoke to Bella yet again, with childish undertones. Two years later and the dust hadn't settled.

Bella scoffed, "and being a vile, slimy git all the fucking time is realistic?"

"Exactly Miss Horrible Hermione Granger Impersonator." Edward stood over Bella, grinning like a fool.

"Shut up Malfoy Wannabe." Bella answered back just as stupidly.

"This is ridiculous!" I yelled hating how they couldn't get over the most stupid things and still believe that they could have a healthy relationship.

"Don't be jealous Alice." Rosalie told me, stepping forward.

"I am _not_ jealous!"

"Yeah you are." She laughed putting her arm around my shoulders reassuringly, "don't worry, you still have me while they go off and do their sugary boyfriend-girlfriend stuff."

"See?" Edward mirrored Rosalie with Bella who bit her lip sheepishly, "I told you it would be simple, for the most part." He smirked but sent me a tiny glare before going back to her.

"Alice…" She looked at me nervously. I looked to her and then Edward, Rosalie shook her head at me. I looked around at my family knowing as I met all of their similar looks of quiet happiness and… relief?

I sighed heavily, feeling a huge weight lift off my shoulders but the worry didn't totally dissipate. I knew that I'd lost the battle and possibly the war, but I wasn't going to lie complacent. I knew they still had to contend with Charlie.

~.~.~.

**BPOV**

I walked into the living room with my book as Charlie stubbornly focused on the _Arts_ section of the _Seattle Times_. I knew he was faking interest because he wasn't the Arts type at all. Edward had come over after dinner making things between Charlie and I a little tense.

I'd made his favorite, meatloaf and garlic mashed potatoes to butter him up for dinner, I knew he knew my strategy but I wasn't going to give in without a fight. We ate in silence though, every now and then asking for the pepper or whatnot.

I'd brought out my new copy of _Pride & Prejudice_ skipping to Book Three and threw myself into the novel. Charlie didn't make a sound until Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth bump into each other on his grounds. "Bella." He called me quietly.

I didn't answer right away because I'd thrown myself into the moment and because part of me didn't want to seem overeager to talk about the issue. "Bella," he called out to me with more confidence.

"Yes Dad?" I asked him, behind my book.

"Put down the book please." He sounded like he was talking to a suspect. I did what he asked and looked at him expectantly. "We can't let this take over our relationship; I don't want things to sour between us."

"Then let me date Edward without giving me a fight." I got to the point knowing it was stupid to beat around the bush.

He'd come home immediately after Esme told him what'd happened with Renee to be shocked beyond all belief when I'd told him I'd started dating Edward.

"Let me get over one thing before we jump into something else." He'd told me on autopilot.

The very next day he called his lawyer and talked over restraining order possibilities, the lawyer advised him against it because seemed a little too extreme but he did agree to reinforce the limits Renee had over seeing me since Charlie held primary custody over me.

"Charlie, I don't even think it's necessary considering the fact that I turn eighteen in fifteen months."

"We don't know if she could force you to move to Phoenix or not, honey. It would kill me if she managed it." He'd told me in pain.

I sighed knowing it really would kill him if Renee took me away and left him completely alone.

He'd been wired, screening all incoming phone calls- I'd left out Edward erasing Renee's message because I didn't need him to hate Edward when he'd already started giving him distrustful glares when Edward came over after dinner and talk.

I figured Edward had heard enough reproachful yelling after he told me about it. I'd was infuriated with him when he told me that and the fact that he outed us officially without so much as a thought towards me.

I'd even considered breaking up with him out of fear while we argued but I knew I was panicking and letting my insecurities get the better of me. After subdued arguing and a lot of reassuring on his part, I'd been able to come to terms with it as we explained ourselves to everyone.

He'd sent me into a tailspin when he'd slyly hinted at us "possibility, maybe 'olive' each other." After a moment of realizing what he was trying to say, I'd very emphatically told him there was no olive juice be in the pantry- not yet anyway, and we'd hadn't even thought of going to the supermarket for it.

"Sure, baby sure." He'd grinned right before hearing Alice yelling outside.

Alice had been the only one to argue back, confessing to her fears stemming from Emmett and Edward's strong brotherly bond. Her words resonated through me making me wonder if indeed Edward and I did break up eventually, I wouldn't be able to get over it completely and stop interacting with the Cullens.

"She's the ridiculous one, not us." Edward told me after we went back to the big house and I went to my room to lie down. I could feel his anxiousness towards the effect the showdown had taken on me.

He tucked me into my bed, "the possibility of breaking up is there," I told him feeling warm but not because of the covers, "but Alice is wrong." I grabbed his hand, he sat at the edge of my bed not saying anything. "I can break your heart as much as you can mine." _Why are you bringing this up now? Enough with the emoness, fuck!_

No, I'm going to be as honest and realistic as possible, I don't want any surprises.

Edward looked at me worriedly, "do you think about that a lot?"

"No," I looked away but then back, "ok a little." _Almost hypocrite_, the voice rolled her eyes.

"Why? You're not happy?" Edward pulled away but I went back for his hand, "I am but when I panic I…"

"You feel like you need to cut off the source of the 'problem' to save yourself." Edward spoke thoughtfully; I frowned knowing he'd seen through me yet again. "Do you see this as a problem?" He motioned between us.

"No," I answered right away, "it's my fucking insecurities. I just have these unfounded fears that I'll be left alone by everyone. Dr. Carter says that even though I'm aware of the problems, part of me doesn't want to come to terms with the 'bright side.'"

"Baby," he came to sit with me but hugged me instead, "we'll figure this out together I swear."

"I'm tired of all this." I sighed into him feeling absolutely exhausted, "your birthday was ruined by my mother and everything afterward."

"It's ok Bella, I don't mind." I could tell there was more that response but he didn't want to finish.

"and…"

"Aaanddd you're going to be angry with why I don't mind."

"Tell me."

"Don't be angry with me, I can't defend myself one more time." He told me, nuzzling his face in my throat letting the butterflies fly off again.

"I won't, I don't have it in me anymore." He took a deep breath and answered in a rush, "because it forced us to come clean."

I pulled away, he'd been right; it would've annoyed me if he'd told me this when I wasn't mentally exhausted, I rolled my eyes and kissed him lightly. Our eyes met after I pulled away and the spark was there firing up between us once again.

His lips found mine biting and sucking wildly as if he was a new… boy-man. I giggled at my thoughts forcing us to part. "My kisses are funny?" He asked breathless, his green eyes were just as on fire as the atmosphere around us.

I didn't answer him, instead I threw myself on him and we made out for a while before Alice and Rosalie interrupted us. I knew Rose had spoken to Alice in private but I still needed to do so myself.

After unceremoniously kicking Edward out, making him leave through the main door and locking the bathroom door so he wouldn't come in later, Alice and I spoke about the situation.

Rosalie went off to find Jasper and Emmett who were playing billiards in the game room. Edward had decided to turn in for the night.

Alice and I had a heart to heart and even though there was still accusing anger on her part for not telling her about Edward, we both came to terms with it and promised each other not to mention much about the goings on of the relationship.

"This sucks." Alice whined after we called a reluctant Rose up, she had beat Emmett and Jasper single-handily at pool- Emmett's billiard game of choice, and had been immersed in a smug victory pissing contest against the boys. I loved how Rosalie could both wear lipstick and football eye black without so much as a blink.

"What does?" Rosalie asked us as she jumped on my bed, getting comfortable.

"I was looking forward to us getting boyfriends and talking about them and stuff but now that Bella's dating _Edward_ I can't ask her about how he kisses and if he's any good! Eww just the thought of it!"

"Sorry Alice but I can't help it and I won't." I laughed knowing what she meant, I knew that it was pretty bitchy of me to think so but at least I had Rosalie and if her plans worked out she would have me in return.

Now I was with Charlie trying to come up with a way for him not to dislike the situation even more so than he already did. After setting new, stronger limitations on Renee's rights to seeing me- she was only allowed to see me if Charlie was present, otherwise she would face legal ramifications for breaking the custody agreement , Charlie had decided to take on The Boyfriend.

It'd been awkward as fuck but we talked it over, but after I told him Edward was the perfect gentleman and making sure to leave out our more private… encounters, did Charlie seem to somewhat relax.

He'd asked me not to sleep over the Cullens anymore because the Renee incident had made him realize he didn't spend much time with me during the week, but I knew it was his way of keeping me away from Edward. I had to give it to him, he had a point but I would never tell him so.

Edward and I had decided to be the "perfect" couple, we wouldn't have public displays of affection and we would only see each other when and if Charlie was home from work which was once a week during his days off.

Since Charlie was screening my calls, Edward would call me between six pm and eight pm, not surpassing more than fifteen minutes. The arrogant bastard had turned into the epitome of every father's daughter's perfect boyfriend.

After almost two weeks of being good, I was getting antsy. I was getting sick of the hand-holding and stolen kisses although to my immense surprise, Edward found it fun and exciting. "I thought you wanted to make it known and not hide behind the shadows to kiss me." I'd chided once night after sucking face against the back of the house as Charlie sat that the front of the living room "watching the game" but really looking out the window to see if he'd catch us doing anything inappropriate.

Edward chuckled quietly trying hard not to give us away, he tucked my hair behind my ear, "it's true but I don't know… I get a thrill thinking I'm doing something illegal. Call me crazy but I get a kick out of dating the Chief of Police's daughter."

"But I'm Bella." I huffed.

"When we're at your house near your father you're the Chief of Police's daughter but you're Bella everywhere else." He clarified, I scowled at this; he always had to be so fucking reckless and looking trouble. I wanted to rebuttal but we heard Charlie grunting to get off his armchair and scurried back into the front door before he even managed to make his away across the living room.

"I think I'm going to head home," Edward told me nervously I smirked self-righteously, he ignored it of course, "are you going to see Dr. Carter tomorrow?"

"Of course." I felt Charlie's presence beside the front window.

"Do you think your Dad will let me drive you?"

"Just because you don't trust my truck?" I cocked my head to the side, surprised at his question.

Edward rolled his eyes but thought better of it, "Volvos are considered one of the safest cars on the market." He said, his chin turning towards the window as if making his case in front of Chief Swan. "I'm sure it's much safer than that… truck."

"Hmmm… I'm not sure but do I even have to ask him?" I was having too much fun with Edward groveling and trying to give a good impression.

"Well, he is your father and I wouldn't want your dad to think I don't think of your safety."

"Ok, I'll ask him." I nodded knowing our time was up. I squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek- we didn't want to break our 1950s rules. "I'll let you know tomorrow, I'll give you a call before nine ok?"

"Good night bab-lla." Edward flinched at his mistake, I laughed again feeling his self-loathing for almost slipping for almost breaking his perfect record.

"Night."

When I walked in, Charlie was looking at our very limited bookcase full of old fishing almanacs and sports magazines as if looking for the original Bible. I grinned to myself and decided to read before going to bed and there I was beginning a discussion with Chief Swan. "I want you to know I'm ok with you… dating but I also want you to know there are rules in this house you have to follow." He told me, clearing his throat and trying hard to not lose his authoritarian tone.

"I know Dad and Edward and I are willing to hear these rules and follow them." I told him, putting my book down and setting my hands on my lap.

Charlie looked at me and looked away, I could have sworn I saw a bit of a blush on his cheeks.

"I know Carlisle and Esme, and I know they've raised good kids but I know that Edward has somewhat of a lead foot-"

"You weren't listening to our conversation were you Charlie?" I asked trying to sound surprised and slightly indignant. It was partly true so I didn't have to act much.

"No of course not." He cleared his throat and subconsciously rubbed his throat, he did this when he was nervous.

"Ok because it would be a grievous show of mistrust and I've been nothing but honest with you so it would really break my heart." Charlie's eyes sparked with some unfathomable emotion and Chief Dad was back but with a slight edge to his voice.

"I'm fine with breaking your heart baby girl, because you would forgive me eventually," I cocked my eyebrow surprised at his words, he mirrored me as if challenging me to repute him but I said nothing. He went on, "but I would most definitely not be ok if a boy or anyone else broke your heart, I would make sure you didn't forgive _them._"

I stared at him surprised, not knowing what to say or feel. "Ok Dad." I nodded slowly and swallowing hard. I cleared my throat, "you also have to butt out,"

"No-"

"Yes," I forced through, I knew that if I didn't set the rules with Charlie he would go nuts and it could even set the tone for our relationship as I moved into adulthood. "Daddy you have to understand that I'm growing up and I don't need so much supervision- I'm moving to New York next year, how will you act then?"

"Bella look what happened with Renee-"

"Renee did wrong but you can't block me from the world all my life, I'm never going to live."

"Bella…"

I looked at the bookcase and caught the front cover of an old _Fish & Game Magazine_ Charlie had left standing against the bookcase wall, looking out. It had a clownfish on it.

"Dad, Rosalie babysat George Harkins' youngest son last summer when Jamie Harkin went on a trip to Portland with Alex and Felix Stone and Rex, the boy asked Rose to take him to see a new animated movie called _Finding Nemo._ Have you ever heard of this movie?"

"Bella," Charlie looked at me like I was crazy.

"You should watch it Dad, maybe we can rent it from Blockbuster when it comes out on VHS." I got up not wanting to continue with the conversation, I was too irritated with Charlie's overprotective tendencies.

"Bella what does-" I ran up the stairs, taking two at a time.

"It's about a dad clownfish and a son clownfish, Rose said it was very educational and made her interested in learning about the ocean," I kind of exaggerated Rose's take on the movie but I was trying to make a point with my father. "I'm sure you'll like it."

"Bella!" I closed my bedroom door with a snap and threw myself on my bed, angry.

Charlie was going to have to learn to let me live the good way or be forced to learn the bad way.

* * *

**Phew! There goes a hurdle now to move on to the next!**

**I know I've said this before and the meaning and sincerity is still there every time I do, but not as much as now: thank you for your support and continued readership. Your comments and alerts inspire me to write and give you the best I can give you, with or without grammar mistakes (which annoy the crap out of me, believe me there is nothing more infuriating than to see mistakes after editing the piece three times.)**

**Oh! To those who didn't get the 'olive juice' thing, if you mouth 'olive juice' it looks like you're saying 'I love you' so it's Edward's way of touching on the L word without putting himself out there, and my Bella is obviously in denial... smh.**

**P.S. The whole Gryffindor/Slytherin Debate is true; I was the Gryffindor purist and a friend of mine from school was the Slytherin lover. It lasted three hours and I have to say, NEVER AGAIN! ~I.E.**


	21. Flora's Secret

**I start off by saying I'm super excited for the next phase in this story. I've been itching to finish this this phase because I have so much material for the year 2004 through 2008 I'm literally squealing XD! (That doesn't mean I don't love this chapter- because I do. It's one of my favorites because of *hint hint* the simplicity ;])**

**A special thank you to those who reviewed last chapter, it inspired me to belt this out faster than I expected. And an even bigger thank you to those who added me to their communities it's a thrill to know I'm included in your respective lists :)**

**By the way, please read the closing A/N, thank you :)**

* * *

Enya-_ Flora's Secret_

* * *

**BPOV**

_2003._

I skipped down the stairs thinking about getting out of the house in time, I knew I had extra time to kill before having to leave for my first appointment with Dr. Carter after her vacation but I didn't want to risk traffic.

"Charlie," I called out, thinking about the aftermath of our discussion the night before.

"In the kitchen." He called out gruffly. I walked through the main part of the house and entered our little butter yellow kitchen with white cabinets to find Charlie in his ratty old overalls he only wore when he was doing chores aroud the house.

"Aren't you going to work today?" I asked a little surprised.

"Nope," he barked looking around the cupboards, "takin' the day off."

"But yesterday was your day off." I went for an apple and a water bottle, my usual breakfast on Saturdays.

"Are you upset I'm home from work?" He asked me uncharacteristically rough. I stared at him in shock, Charlie almost never spoke harshly to me except when he had to reprimand me for doing something he didn't approve of.

"Dad, I-I…" I stuttered not knowing how to explain myself and trying to wrap my mind around his mood. He stared at me and then blinked a few times, melting.

"I'm sorry honey it's just that I- I don't know; I meant what I said about spending more time with you, especially considering that you were accepted into a collage that's three thousand miles away." He added a bit sadly.

"Dad you knew this was coming-" we'd had this conversation multiple times but it was still hard for him to process me leaving and moving to the other side of the country.

"I know, I know," he told me quickly obviously knowing what I was about to say. "It's just that with you leaving _and _having a boyfriend…" he looked at the floor and then at me. "It's hard to see you as an almost-adult…" He finished off meekly.

"Daddy," I sighed feeling both annoyed and depressed that I would be leaving him. I went to hugged him to which he returned back with fervor. "We still have a year."

"Not true," he pulled us away keeping eye contact, "you'll have senior year to deal with, we'll look for dorms and/or off campus housing, furniture and clothing shopping, setting up your bank account and figuring out an allowance-"

"Dad I plan to find a job so don't expect me to accept an allowance for long." I reminded him even though he chose to ignore me.

"You're still my little girl, I want to buy things for you."

"I'll be eighteen, how weird is it for a parent to still give their eighteen year old kid an allowance?"

"That's not rare honey, besides look at Carlisle and his kids…" He added slyly both to try and convince me and as a side comment towards Edward. I ignored it on both counts.

"They have established trust funds and they are only allowed to spend a certain amount a month."

"A fancy allowance." Charlie told me, nodding once as if making his point.

"It's not the same, Richard Cullen was nothing but a huge spendthrift and he bequeathed the trust funds after every birth as present to Dr. Cullen's family." I knew I was losing but I wouldn't give in yet.

"Whatever the case," Charlie turned around grinning, "Alice has her fancy allowance and you'll have your father's allowance too. I can't have you in New York without money available to you. You never know what could happen."

"Daaad…"

"Did you ask Edward to come pick you up?" He asked me suddenly, surprising me yet again.

"Not yet."

"Go on, call him. You can't be late to Dr. Carter's, you know how annoying it is to wait for someone who's late."

"So you did eavesdrop last night." I told him as I went outside to call Edward from our house line. Charlie turned around abruptly staring at me like a deer caught in the headlights. I laughed at him but decided not to chastise him further. He'd taken The Boyfriend news better than I could have ever expected and I wasn't going to push my luck.

I dialed the Cullens, absentmindedly remembering he'd gotten a cellphone for his birthday. _Remember to ask him for his number, just in case._

"Cullen residence." Eliza answered the phone.

"Hey Liza, is Edward up?"

"Bella! Good morning honey, you know what I haven't seen the kid but hold on- _it's Bella asking for Edward._" I could tell by her tone she was talking to someone in the room. "Hold on honey," she came back to me, "it's Esme she's going to call him down for you, apparently he's not up yet-" my heart dropped, my mind's eye ran through various moments like photos. Edward's tattoo, Esme not knowing about said tattoo, him not sleeping with a night shirt…_oh no! Esme's going to flip when she sees it! FUUUUUUUCKKKKK! _

"-you know since he probably doesn't sleep when he's at Dartmouth, he's taking full advantage of sleeping in late-" Eliza went on, I could imagine her shaking her head on the other end of the line. "Emmett told me that he would work twenty two hours a day during his first year at Woodbury making miniature models of whatever those professors had them come up with-"

"Really?" I laughed mirthlessly, not knowing what to say or do. Edward was going to get it and I could feel the rumble of the imaginary thunder, _why the fuck didn't you ask him for his number last night?! He's had that fucking thing for two weeks now! Esme is going slaughter my gorgeous piece of meat because of you!_

"-can you believe that Jasper is already up and went off with Alice for a jog around the Cullen grounds? Alice has been putting on some weight- she needs it in my opinion, she's too slender for being so petite, and asked Jasper to help her bring it back down."

"E-Eliza," I tried cutting her off even though the back of my mind found it interesting that Jazz and Alice were off working out alone. I felt Charlie pop his head into the hallway, I sent him a weak smile trying to placate my feelings of impending doom.

"Woah…" Eliza said more to her surroundings than to me, I could hear yelling on the other side and I already knew the cause of it. _"I was eighteen Mom! Here Eliza let me talk to her_." Edward sounded exasperated defensive. I head Eliza hand the phone over to him, "Bella?" He sighed heavily into the receiver.

"I'm so sorry, I-" I looked over at Charlie who was not hiding his eavesdropping now, I cleared my throat. I didn't need Charlie to know Edward hid a tattoo from his mother for over a year now nor did I want him to know what it was.

He, he perpetual policeman and straight arrow, would never approve of a "I have sinned" tattoo. It reeked of haughty rule-breaking which went against every fiber of Charlie's being.

"It's ok, you told me you would call me before nine and I forgot to set my alarm_- yeah Mom because I _knew _you would react this way."_ I bit my lip, mentally chastising myself for inadvertently getting him in trouble.

"If you can't drive me to Seattle-" Charlie shifted in his feet, I could feel his mood shifting with him.

"No, no no. I'll be ready in ten minutes and I'll be over in fifteen; your session starts at ten thirty right?"

"Yes." I smiled, part of me was surprised he'd remembered.

"See you in fifteen then."

"'K." I said simply and heard the line cut off. I hung up, frowning at myself. I could imagine Esme following Edward around reprimanding him for being so reckless and stupid.

"Everything alright?" Charlie asked me digging for information.

"Yes." I told him after hanging up the receiver and going to sit in the living room. I ate my apple as Charlie moved around "looking" for things to fix but really trying to read my body language.

"You never told me how you two… realized you liked each other. From what I gathered you never got along." Charlie mused as he browsed the magazine that had inspired me to recommend _Finding Nemo_ to him, to which I would force him to watch when it came out on video.

"It just happened." I told him this because I didn't want to go into details, my skin was prickling from embarrassment; it was so weird talking to my dad about these… kinds of things.

"Oh." He nodded, supposedly having nothing better to say and being submersed in months', maybe years' old fishing articles. "So no Jacob then?" He asked me still trying to sound uninterested and blasé. I took a bite from my apple, staring at him as I chewed slowly. He looked at me, shamefaced but not breaking eye contact.

Jacob still tried to get me to go out with him especially after Charlie got me the truck and Jake acted as my mechanic but I declined every time. Charlie and Jacob worked together but after yelling at both of them separately, they'd backed off.

I was somewhat indignant because Jacob had been rumored to be sleeping with two different girls around town, one was part of the reservation and another that went to Forks High. Alice had been on the hunt for the girls' identities but so far she'd come up with nothing.

I understood Jacob's fascination with me; he thought childhood love was everlasting love but I didn't understand Charlie's obsession with making it work. I found this time to be the perfect time to ask.

"Dad, why are you so hell-bent on me going out with Jacob?"

"Oh um…" he cleared his throat, turning around and putting the magazine away. He moved around nervously looking around.

"Charlie…" I dragged on questioningly.

"Jacob is a very good, responsible boy is all."

I squinted my eyes at this. He always said the same thing whenever I asked him about Jacob. _Therein lies Charlie's opinion of Edward._

I thought about this when it hit me. He wanted me to date Jacob, not because he wanted me to be happy but because Jacob was _safe._ He knew Jacob was too much of a "good" boy to do things with me not to mention the fact that he knew his family had similar moral and behavioral expectations. _What about the Cullens though? I mean he must think the same way about them right?_

Charlie considered Jacob to be the only non-threat of all guy-kind for his daughter.

"And… Edward… isn't?" I asked slowly, the level of his overprotection was astounding, I could feel the anger begin to bubble to the surface.

"N-" Charlie began giving himself away but trying to cover up quickly, "I-I know that Carlisle- it's just that Jacob-" he stuttered not knowing how to answer me which pissed me off even more.

"You know Jacob's been rumored to be sleeping with not one but two girls at the same time right?" I said suddenly. I wouldn't of passed on such gossip but Charlie was only seeing what he wanted to see.

He stared at me in complete shock, "no…"

"Yes." I mimicked his tone, "I know gossip is for the idle and we don't have all the proof," he nodded knowingly, "but these rumors were pretty strong around school."

"They are still rumors Bella." Charlie told me holding on the fact. "If I were to arrest or release every Joe Schmo-" The doorbell rang just then. I got up automatically to get the door remembering I'd been waiting for Edward.

I opened the door to find him standing there in a thin camel-colored turtleneck, black jeans jacket and Converse. He carried a faux leather messenger bag crossed over his shoulder. "Morning Bella." He told me overeager and oddly stiff.

"Hey." I smiled, I stopped myself from kissing him because I knew Charlie wouldn't like the PDA. Dad cleared his throat and came out into the foyer. "Good morning Chief Swan." Edward stood straighter and blinked a few times. I bit my bottom lip from trying to stop myself from laughing, where was the bad boy cherub I liked so much?

He sent me an infinitesimal look of "help-me-make-you-dad-like-me" that made me melt at his feet. _God… must he be so cute?_ The voice sighed gawking at him.

"Morning Edward. So you're taking _my_ Bella to Dr. Carter's right?" He asked pointedly.

"Yes." Edward nodded gravely.

"And you'll drive at a_ safe_ and _legal_ speed right Edward?" I couldn't help but roll my eyes at his childishness.

"Yes sir."

"And you'll have her back as soon as possible right?"

"That's right."

"She has to study, she's brought up her GPA since last year and I wouldn't want her to lose her standing because of… _distractions_ outside of school." Charlie was speaking in code which both embarrassed and infuriated me further.

"Yes sir I understand," Edward turned to me and smiled expectantly, "it's great that Bella was able to do everything she set out to do." I smiled widely at him, feeling his magnetic energy begin to pull me in. His green eyes began to churn making my heart flutter.

Charlie cleared his throat uncomfortably forcing us to look away from each other. "What that you've got there Edward?" Charlie asked, curiously, suspiciously and awkwardly.

Edward looked at him questioningly for a second and then looked down at his person. "Oh!" I giggled at his absentmindedness, wondering the same thing though.

"I brought some work myself for when Bella's in with Dr. Carter. It got pretty boring last time I went and I figured I could read something from school while I wait."

"'Last time'?" Charlie asked him before turning to me.

"Edward drove me to Dr. Carter's two weeks ago because it was raining and he didn't believe the truck would get me there safely."

"It's a good, sturdy truck." Dad said to Edward, "and it has the best mechanic in the area." The veiled snide comment didn't escape my notice, I almost told Charlie off but Edward beat me to it.

He chuckled effervescently, throwing his head back slightly. "I'm sure you wouldn't entrust Bella's truck and safety to just any mechanic who learned the trade by watching his father and never got his license Chief Swan." I gawked at Edward with my mouth slightly agape.

That was an underhanded comment if I'd ever heard one. I didn't understand Edward- one second he was uncertain and self-conscious about Charlie and the next he was back to his over-confident, reckless self.

Charlie reddened slightly clearing his throat, "yes well…" Charlie raised his eyebrows at me, a look of unguarded surprise and… respect cross his face but then covered it quickly, "you should get going or you'll be late. I'm sure Avery wouldn't like that."

"Avery? Who's Avery?" I asked stupidly, _Dr. Carter stupid! You don't even remember her first name? Wow! Self-involved much?_

"Dr. Carter, I mean." Charlie looked away, his blush deepening.

"Oh." _Is that a look of…_

"Yes, lets." Edward told me impatiently, he opened the door for me and I went to his car without stopping. I looked back to find Edward and Charlie in a weird handshake, Charlie was serious while Edward was emitting confident ease. I sighed at Charlie's immaturity.

Sure I expected it from Edward, but Charlie?

_Look at him_, the voice told me swooning slightly, _Edward is so fucking hot taking on Charlie._

I took a second and did what she asked, there he stood all tall and grinning. Charlie wasn't able to tell like I could but there it was, the triumphant "I-am-worthy" air that was so him.

"Edward!" I called out, they both turned to me surprised, "let's go!" He grinned turning back to Charlie, my dad asked him something to which Edward blanched but quickly recovered. He nodded back and walked towards me.

"What was that?" I asked once he reached me.

"Nothing, he was just reminding me to drive at the designated speed… or else…" He waited for me to jump in and closed the door behind me. I looked at Charlie through the glass window studying him. He had his hands deep in his pocket, looking at me pensively.

I waved goodbye and he returned it, "ready?" Edward asked me bringing me to him.

"Yes."

"Strapped in?"

"Strapped in? Don't you mean buckled up?"

"No," he nodded glancing in Charlie's direction slightly, "strapped in. I want him to see me taking care of you."

"Oh come on." I turned around to Charlie rolling my eyes, surprisingly he laughed.

"Come on, make a show of it."

"Edward seriously-"

"Come on, I'm itching to get out of Forks so I can kiss you, I'm having withdrawals." He told me starting the car and sounding impatient. My heart skipped a beat feeling the familiar buzz of excitement when he spoke to me that way.

We drove out of town not ignoring the few looks people around town sent us as he drove by. The news that we'd started dating had slowly percolated into town, shocking more than a one person. I'd had calls from most every girl in my class asking me for details. I'd answered yes but didn't say anything further, I knew though that once school started I would get the third degree.

"There goes Mr. Gunner." Edward said under his breath. I turned to his side of the street. Mr. Gunner was the town's Homer Simpson; he was a generally nice man who liked food, booze and football.

"What about him?" I asked Edward surprised he would give Gunner the time of day.

"He's going to die of heart disease, liver and kidney failure and high cholesterol if he doesn't change his lifestyle." He answered darkly.

"Seriously Edward, two semesters at Dartmouth and you already see yourself as Dr. Cullen." I jabbed light-heartedly. Edward turned to me following along; he winked and went back to the road. His smile faltered though.

"I'm serious, I also wouldn't be surprised if he developed Type Two diabetes."

"I was about to." I said absentmindedly.

"But you changed your lifestyle." Edward told me positively and to prove a point. I nodded, "because I had to."

"Why can't Gunner and the rest of the world realize it too?" I shrugged, quietly stunned at the change in his tone. He sounded so mature and so unlike Pirate Edward. I looked at him taking in his face, apart for the obvious, puberty had done its job in maturing his face but his tone and manner sounded years ahead.

He'd always been intelligent but he didn't flaunt it like his other traits, he'd rather talk about sex and music than the world's current affairs.

He caught my eye, "what?"

"Nothing." I looked away embarrassed that I'd been caught staring. I knew Pirate Edward like the back of my hand but I had no idea this new Edward was beginning to form. It was startling.

He glanced at me intermittently while watching the road, "you sure?"

"Yes." I smiled, "so we left Forks five minutes ago." I said pointing at the state freeway, "when are you going to pull over and kiss me?" I looked at him expectantly cocking an eyebrow.

"Good point." He nodded signaling and pulling over to follow through with his promise.

~.~.~.

I shook Dr. Carter's hand and waited for Edward to finish putting his books away. "What were you studying Edward?" She asked inquiringly glancing at the chemistry book he'd been reading when we walked into the waiting room.

"Chemistry, it's the bane of my existence and I can't seem to grasp it no matter how much I go over it." He said frustrated with himself.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out." Dr. Carter smiled her eyes sparkling in a way that told me she was analyzing him. "I'll see you next week Bella." She turned to me and waved goodbye, she turned on her heel and went back into her office.

I caught Heidi ogling Edward from her perch "sorting" some paperwork. I looked over at him and like always, he was oblivious to the staring. "So," he looked at up at me after he slung his bag over his shoulder, "a quick bite to eat before we head back?" He looked hopeful and eager.

"Sure, but no _Pacific Anchor_." I winked wrapping my arm around his elbow as we walked out into the cloudy parking lot. _He's mine bitch! Remember that!_

Edward opened the door for me when we reached his car and soon after we were going down towards Pike Place Market listening to Top 40 music.

We reached the Market and decided on crepes since we weren't in the mood for a big lunch. "I haven't been here since Charlie got promoted to Chief of Police." I mused as we entered _Crepe De France_ in the Economy Market building. We walked through the long corridor taking in the sweet aroma of vanilla, batter and coffee.

It was filling up with people on their lunch break so we wasted no time ordering, I ordered the tomato cheese and spinach crepe and Edward ordered the salmon crepe. "You really like fish don't you?" I asked starting to pay attention to his eating habits. He asked for black coffee with two sugars before answering me.

"Hey I'm from Washington of course I'm going to love fish." He winked as he tucked his chin under his palms staring intently at me.

"True." I nodded rolling my eyes, the waitress came and went with his coffee, "don't you want something to drink?" He asked me eying my glass of water.

"I'm good." I said not in the mood for anything else.

"Just water then?" He looked at me skeptically, I could feel Esme's influence in his question. She didn't believe in just drinking water during meals. "Yes." I nodded, "granted, it's not the same thing as water with lemon… but…" I smirked leaning forward.

"Are you sure?" He asked me looking for the waitress.

"Water is the source of life- not coffee, tea or juice." I said looking at the beverage selection the place offered. Edward looked at me and grinned, "I should know right?"

"Yes." I nodded giggling at his insistence, "so your mom went nuclear with the tattoo thing huh?" I asked nervously. He sighed just as the waitress came and with meticulous attention set his order down and pointed out the sugar tray in front of us leaning over him, "in case you like to add a little bit of sugar on your savory crepes."

"Sure." He nodded giving her a small polite smile, o_h hello Maria._ The voice said with dry humor.

Maria?

_Female version of Mario._

Oh… immediately my skin prickled and I plastered on the most syrupy smile and waited for her to pay attention to me. After she didn't I cleared my throat, Edward looked over at me and turned to Maria, "is my girlfriend's order ready?"

"Oh." The waitress blushed once she realized he wasn't whispering sweet-nothings to her.

"My girlfriend's order..?"

The waitress laughed nervously and apologized to me saying the cook was working on mine. She skidded off, her hips swinging slightly as she went to the pick-up area.

"Hmph." I crossed my arms glaring at the back of her head.

"Jealousy looks cute on you." Edward whispered more to himself than to me. I looked at him surprised as he watched me like a puppy dog. "I'm not jealous." I huffed wrapping my arms closer to me.

He smirked rolling his eyes and taking a drink from his coffee. "I'm grounded." He said suddenly, sounding both surprised and amazed.

"What?" The change in subject surprised me.

"Not grounded like when we were kids, mind you." He said chuckling and sounding amused, "she's cutting off the monthly allowance I receive a month for the rest of the year."

"What? Why?"

Edward touched his left side just above his heart, he smiled cocking his eyebrow. "Oh!" I felt immediately guilty. "I'm so sorry-"

"It's not your fault baby," he said quickly, "I just remembered that's why I mention it."

"But if I hadn't called you-"

"I was going to tell her one of these days anyway, don't worry- you told me you would call in the morning and I didn't set my alarm. It was no one's fault but my own."

"Why are you placing all the blame on yourself?" I asked him my anger getting the better of me. The waitress set my plate down, looking at me with a smug expression. I blinked realizing what was going through her head. She must have thought we were arguing.

_Oh ho ho, no no no hoe. Wrong!_

Must you be so harsh?

_Must you be such a push over?_

"Could you bring me a cup of fresh blueberries and raspberries."

"Sure." She smiled venomously and went off sending Edward a coquettish look before going off. _You should have asked for hot sauce._

And what would I do with it?

_Throw it in her face, duh._

Jeez, you're violent.

"Bella?" Edward asked me pointedly.

"Yes?" I asked stupidly, he chuckled, "you seem angry." I blinked trying to come back to earth. "Annoyed."

"Why?"

"Maria over there." I cocked my head to the side in her direction. "Maria? I thought she said her name was Joanna."

"She's the female version of Mario- an idiotic, stupid, meddlesome waitperson." I rolled my eyes, pissed off now.

"You're so fucking cute, I just want to sit you on my lap and f-feel you up." I squinted my eyes staring at him, his stumble made me wonder what he was about to say but he just laughed and told me to dig in.

_'Fuck you.' He wants to sit you on his lap and FUCK you; and baby I would let you any time you want!_

I blushed looking at my food, before I could think twice I said, "maybe you should dig _in_ too." I gasped at myself. He stared at me with his mouth slightly agape but soon blinked, shifted in his seat and laughed out loud.

I didn't look up from my crepe putting too much attention into eating it.

~.~.~.

"Look," he whispered into my ear pointing at the tattoo parlor on Western. We'd decided to walk around for a bit before setting off to Forks, enjoying the sights.

"Another tattoo?" I asked him pointedly. "You just got grounded babe, you want your mom to cut you off completely?" I laughed knowing the risk drove him.

He shrugged, "I've been good with my money. Dad taught us well, and if I'm smart and invest wisely I can grow the money I have saved in the bank." I was speechless, this mature Edward was seriously taking me by surprise. "What?" He asked, "did you really think I burned through my allowance?"

"You call it an allowance?" I asked thinking back to Charlie. Edward took my hand and started walking again, he shrugged once more, "isn't it? I mean it's not _my _money. Its money my grandparents bestowed on me for being part of their family not because I _earned _it."

"But you earn an allowance," I pointed out knowing Charlie would be self-satisfied if he'd heard us, "by doing chores and things like that."

"But doesn't your dad buy you things- not counting food, clothing and shelter, because you're his daughter and he wants you to be happy?"

"Yes," we stopped in front of a flower vendor; I was too enthralled in our discussion to realize he was nonverbally asking me what flowers I liked. "Which bothers me because he still wants to pay for everything," I looked over the blue bellflowers that were in season.

"Really?" There was a slight humor in his voice. "Yes," I told him, "especially now that I've decided to stay in Hyde Park instead of commuting from the city every day."

"It makes sense doesn't it?" He asked as he stepped away from me, I was too interested in the beautiful array of flowers and my thought process to "wake up."

"Well yes because Hyde Park is two hours from New York City and it seems stupid to get an apartment in the city when I need to drive two hours so I might as well just settle in Hyde Park."

"I'm sorry about that." Edward said absentmindedly.

"It's ok." I looked over at some jasmine not done with my venting, "Alice and Rose were pretty bummed but we figured I'd go down every other weekend and vice versa."

"That's good."

"Anything else sir?" The tiny woman with a green visor asked him from her seat. She was wrapping the bellflowers with green ivy in pink wrapping paper. I blinked feeling stupid for not paying better attention, "no thank you that'll be all."

"Edward." I went over to him feeling embarrassed but loving the buzz running through me. "Bella." He mimicked my tone handing over a few bills and offering me the bouquet. "You distracted me." I accused taking the bouquet and taking in its aroma.

"I thought you were paying attention…" He was half serious half kidding. "That little grin tells me you knew you what you were doing." I told him taking his hand walking away after we thanked the saleswoman.

I stopped him after a few steps, "thank you." I kissed him sweetly.

"You're welcome." He whispered when I stepped away. Our eyes met yet again, feeling my heart against my chest and my breath hitching in my throat he came down for another.

"Charlie's waiting for us." I sighed leaning on his arm still into my flowers after we broke away. I knew I'd feel flattered when I imagined a boy giving me flowers but I didn't realize I would feel so fuzzy and warm.

"Do we have to?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes! Come on, Edward. You don't want to throw all of our work by the wayside just because you didn't want to take me home." I pulled his arm towards the direction he'd parked the Volvo.

He groaned putting all of his weight on his feet and dragging himself down. After a bit of arguing, I was able to get him to admit he would hate to have Charlie waiting for us with his gun waiting at the ready if we didn't get to Forks before nightfall.

Good thing we got home before supper time otherwise Charlie would have gone to Seattle looking for me.

"How was Dr. Carter?" He asked after Edward said goodbye and apologized for taking longer than expected.

"Good," I nodded thinking back to our session, "she was shocked when I told her about Renee- which she told me I could have contacted her during our hiatus. I told her I didn't want to ruin her vacation and thankfully I had Edward and my family to support me." I said washing my hands and going to sit at the kitchen table.

Charlie grunted approval and came to sit with me. "I cleaned the gutters and oiled your truck honey." He informed me.

"Thank you." I smiled feeling tired.

"What did you do with Edward after the session?" He tried coming off as blasé and imformal but I could tell it was killing him to know what we'd been up to.

"We went to grab a quick lunch, walked for a bit and headed back."

"He gave you flowers." He accused eying the bouquet which now stood in a vase with water. "Yes." I nodded glancing at the flowers, sighing yet again.

Charlie looked at me but said nothing. He got up suddenly, cleared his throat and excused himself. "Don't make dinner tonight, I want to treat you." He told me suddenly.

"Dad already took out the steaks for the fridge-"

"We're going to Johnnie's!" He told me in his no-nonsense tone as he left the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and went to put the steaks away. I went back to my flowers and after playing with the petals of a bloom I decided to take it to my bedroom where I could look at it without feeling judged about it.

~.~.~.

**EPOV**

"Did you drop Bella off?" Mom asked me as I walked through the kitchen towards the stairs.

"Yes." I answered trying to decide whether to kiss her hello or just forget it.

"What?" She asked me from the kitchen table where she was arraigning a new flower bouquet for the living room. I smiled to myself thinking of Bella's face when she realized I'd bought her flowers. She was so easy to distract I loved it. "I said, aren't you going to kiss your mother hello?" Mom asked me pointedly.

I thought about my safety for a moment but knowing she wouldn't like that, I did was I was told. Mom stuck her cheek out defiantly, I kissed her quickly and was ready to head upstairs when she stopped me, "your father thinks cutting you off for the rest of the year is going too far," she told me, "so we're going to cut it in half instead."

"Ok." I told her trying to sound repentant but not really caring. I knew my spending habits and I had enough saved up in my personal account to not worry about running out after six months. Mom gave me look of simmering anger but I wasn't going to open my mouth. It could cause me to lose my arm and possibly my life if I did.

"We can go to Port Angeles instead, they have really good restaurants-" Alice bounced down the stairs sounding bright, Jasper trailed behind her. "Oh hey Edward you're back?" She asked sounding breathless.

"Just got in actually," I said not going to greet her hello. Our relationship had cooled since my birthday because of her reluctance to accept Bella and I as a couple and me finding out she'd resent my relationship with Emmett.

"How was Seattle?" Jasper asked me sitting down in one of the bar stools at the breakfast bar.

"Fine, it was a nice day to be out." I told him going to sit with him, "what did you do all day?"

"After we went jogging," he said nodding in Alice's direction, "Alice and Rosalie took me to the lake; by the way Irina Denali asked me to dinner at Johnnie's tonight but I declined."

"Irina asked you out?" I asked staring at him. Tanya's cousin Irina was a cookie cut version of Tanya in both looks and personality but with a slight dorky edge. Alice huffed going to the fridge and getting some ice cream.

"Yeah, she got all up in my personal space asking me to take her out tonight." Jasper was a grade-A stand up guy but when he wasn't in a committed relationship he liked looking around. He called it "surveying the goods." If I had to peg him for something, it was Casanova's little brother. _I guess that's why he and Emmett hit it off, they have the same philosophy about girls._

"But you said no?"

"Yessir." He nodded sighing gravely, "she's not my cup of joe."

"You mean tea."

"No, I mean joe, I'm not a fan of tea." He winked laughing at his own joke. I rolled my eyes and excused myself upstairs. I wanted to shower and change into my sweats, I felt like lounging around for the rest of the day.

After I showered and changed I came downstairs to find Jasper and Alice in the game room. Alice was flipping through a book while Jasper played solitaire pool. "What are you reading?" I asked Alice both out of curiosity and because I was trying to make an effort in getting our old relationship back.

"_Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix_." She told me absentmindedly, flipping some more. "It was released two weeks ago."

"I thought you didn't like the series."

"No," she dragged closing the book and sounding irritated, "I like the series, I just don't think your obsession with it is healthy."

"I'm not obsessed." I countered as Jasper handed me my favorite cue to join him, "I'm just an average fan. You don't see me dressing up like Potter and going to the midnight book slash movie releases." There was nothing wrong with that but although I'd been a hardcore fan when the first book came out, I'd never seen the need to wait in line for hours when I could just get it once the line of avid fans left the bookstore.

"Yeah well arguing for three hours about it makes you a different kind of obsessed." Alice answered me petulantly, "besides, I'm doing research."

"On _Harry Potter_?" Jasper asked his turn to sound curious.

"Yes." Alice blushed looking away.

"You're not in school right now though, what could you be researching for?" I asked putting my cue down and finding this to be odd. Alice only read works of fiction when they were assigned choosing to read fashion magazines and fashion history books. She wasn't a keen reader like Bella who loved to read a good novel as much as she loved cooking and baking.

"It's personal ok?" She snapped leaving Jasper and I in the game room.

"What did we say to upset her?" Jasper asked stupidly, he looked to me for an answer but not knowing how to I just shrugged and picked up my cue asking him for a game of pool.

~.~.~.

After an awkward dinner on two fronts, my angry parents and an even angrier Alice we called it an early night and headed to bed. Jasper hated sleeping in the guest house by himself so he'd asked Mom and Emmett if it'd be ok to sleep in his bedroom. Both found it ok and since Emmett went back to Seattle after my birthday, Jazz had been sleeping in his bedroom.

"I'm thinking of going to Chicago for the rest of vacation." Jasper told me as we walked up the grand staircase. Alice stopped behind us, "how come?" she squeaked.

"Because I haven't been since I was ten and I want to look around the condo near Rush Street that Lisa gave me- I want to check out the nightlife more than anything." He grinned excitedly, I rolled my eyes. "Hey just cuz you got yourself a girlfriend it doesn't mean you have to act like a Smug Married."

"A smug what?" I asked him stopping yet again and turning to him.

"Married, it's a _Bridget Jones_' term." He told me defiantly outstripping me and going towards Emmett's bedroom.

"_Bridget Jones_?" I laughed out loud, "you're reading _Bridget Jones's Diary_?" I asked him incredulously.

"Yes," he rolled his eyes, "it's a very funny, witty and slice-of-life type of book."

"Since when do you read Chick Lit?"

"Since Rosalie commented about it this morning, she's reading the sequel and let me borrow the first book."

"What the fuck?"

"Don't judge," he raised his eyebrow glancing at Alice quickly, "I didn't judge about… you know…" My mouth dropped but started laughing, "well fuck me." I said shocked he would go there.

"Not my type, man. Sorry." He patted my arm once and wished us goodnight before running into Emmett's room.

"He didn't judge you for what?" Alice questioned me putting her arms on her hips.

"For dating Bella." I lied quickly and not missing a beat, Alice dropped her hands harrumphing and rushing to her room saying something about calling Rose or whatnot.

I entered my bedroom and let myself fall down face-first on my pillow. I sighed, feeling the emptiness from Bella's bedroom. I turned on my back and closed my eyes. My mind began to race towards the memories of the day and further back.

Feeling her underneath me in my bed as I pecked her skin, tracing the curve of her jaw, kissing her collarbone, feeling the warmth from the apex of her thighs…

I groaned feeling the blood rush southward knowing where this would lead. I felt lonely and wanting to hear her voice as I came fueled me to call her. Rushing to find my cellphone I dialed her private line. I would ask her to act as if she was speaking to Alice if Charlie asked who it was.

"Hello?" She answered after the second ring.

"Hey baby." I breathed feeling Edward Jr. grow.

"Edward." I could hear her voice pep up making me smile, "where's Charlie?"

"Sleeping, we went to eat at Johnnie's and the food knocked him out cold once we got home." She told me, I could see her rolling her eyes that second.

"What are you up to?" She asked me, "I love your choice in words baby…" I told her palming myself and feeling my heart beat quicker, my skin began to feel hot under the hoodie making me curse myself for not taking it off before calling her.

"Oh? Why is that?"

"Take off your jeans and follow along and you'll catch my drift." She laughed a deep throaty laugh she only reserved for our pre-Renee late-night conversations. "Is that why you called? For phone sex?"

"Yes and no." I got myself comfortable kicking my boxers off with my sweatpants, "yes because you know I miss our nightly visits and no because I really do miss you."

"You saw me a few hours ago…"

"You know that's not enough and besides we went out on our do-over first date, I wouldn't put out on the first date." I answered playfully.

"That was our do-over first date?" She asked me surprised.

"Well, yeah." I dropped the slow voice and came back to reality, "you didn't think it was?"

"Um… now that I think about it I guess it was, I just expected more fanfare…"

"Do you want more fanfare?" I asked nervously feeling stupid for not making a bigger deal of our date earlier that day.

"No," she told me quickly, "I loved it now that I see it as our first date, I just didn't realize it at the time." She answered meekly. I sat up feeling my body slow down, "Bella if you want more fanfare I'll give you more fanfare I promise."

"Actually, I liked the level of non-fanfare we had today." I could hear her smiling but she still sounded shy. "It was nice-no. Better than nice. It was perfect."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Bella I don't want you-"

"Edward," Flirty Bella was back, "I really really _really _wish we were in the same room together…"

"Bella I don't want to change the subject just yet."

"But I want you to know how much I miss your hot, wet tongue on my hot, wet pussy…" she moaned knowingly into the phone.

"Fuck." I whispered, my instincts getting the better of me.

"You want to know what I'm imagining right now Edward?" She asked me knowing what she was doing. "I'm imagining you pinching and twisting my tits as you trail down… down… down…"

I groaned lying back on my pillows, closing my eyes and feeling my breath both deepen and speed up all at once. "I want to fuck you with my mouth Bella, so fucking much you have no fucking idea how-"

"Fucking much?" She giggled finishing for me.

"Fuck yes."

"Someone likes the word 'fuck'," she teased her sentence ending in a wistful sigh. Feeling brazen and dirty in the most delicious way I went for it, "oh baby I wish I could show you how much I love that fucking word."

She gasped but followed with another breathy giggle shooting straight to my dick. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"What would you know about fucking Edward?" she challenged me.

"It's not much of a stretch baby." She gasped again and moaned into the phone, "what are you doing right now?" I asked wanting to see it myself.

"What do you think?"

"You're watching PBS and they just showed a Congressional meeting." I faked innocence wanting her to describe every detail to me.

"Oh yeah," she giggled playing along, "Clinton made a surprise appearance."

"Really? Did he fuck Monica in front of everyone?"

"He wishes," she laughed, "no, she just blew him on top of a congressman's desk from Texas." I clicked my tongue in faux shame, "what will Jasper think?"

"Jazz will be very upset," she agreed, "Clinton enjoyed it more than I could have _ever_ imagined."

"Oh?" Was she alluding to me or vice versa? _Fuck, fuck, fuck._

"Oh yes," she moaned, "can you imagine Edward?"

"Mmmm…" I grasped myself feeling the slow burning tension, "can I?"

"Oh yes I want you to imagine me going down on you baby. Are you doing that?" My eyes flew open, Bella and I had never touched on this particular subject and the fact that she was hinting at it almost brought me over the edge.

I bit my lip and tried to control myself, "Bella you are going to kill me."

"I want to wrap my mouth around your big, hard dick and suck you dry baby." She whimpered making my skin prickle all over, "do you feel it baby? The heat of my mouth and the slickness of my tongue? Hmm… I wonder if it's a good imitation of the real thing…"

"Fuck me," I pumped myself a few times imagining her hot little mouth instead of my hand. "Oh Edward…" she groaned, I could only imagine what she was doing on the other side of the line.

"I love how you say my name Bella." I said rolling my head back digging into the pillow.

"I love how you make me feel Edward," she countered, "I wish I was there with you right now helping you reach the peak the way you always help me."

"Oh god."

She giggled, "you mean 'goddess' right?"

"Oh yes most definitely." I said remembering what she was referring to. I'd made her reach the orgasmic peak eight times in one night and I wore that fact like a fucking crown. I just wish we could have a repeat performance sooner rather than later.

"Oh fuck me." I whispered again when I rubbed myself the right way, I felt a cold shiver run through my spine making my toes curl in anticipation.

"Do you want me to Edward?" Her voice came out cautious but interested.

"Is that even a question baby?"

My heart beat a mile a minute against my ribcage and my skin flared inside my fucking hoodie.

"I will." She told me sounding shaky herself, "in time I will," she promised longingly her voice sounded like it was gaining confidence. "Just give a little bit of time and we'll be fucking all day long." That sent me over the edge. I felt everything stop, my heart beat painfully hard and everything tightened. In a second I screeched out a muffled groan as I let go.

I could hear Bella giggling in the other end of the phone but I needed to catch my breath as the orgasm ripped through my synapses. Everything around me shook and moved around, she would be the end of me.

After a moment I came back to the phone, "I resent the fact that you're so shameless over the phone and so timid in person." It was true, she was a totally different person when we spoke over the phone than when we were face to face.

"I don't know," she spoke to me in her usual voice, "maybe the phone is to me what alcohol is to other people."

"I don't like that baby." I snorted crossly, she laughed but stopped abruptly. "Charlie's up, ttyl." Next thing I knew the line went dead. I stared the screen as _call ended _flashed three times before going blank. I put it down in my night table and sighed feeling both annoyed at Charlie and lonely once again. _This new arrangement has to change... but how?_

* * *

**Your thoughts?**

**P.S. If you live in NYC/NYS and are willing to answer a few questions about the lifestyle/locales PM me please because I want to be as accurate as possible when the girls move east. I would seriously appreciate it! ~I.E.**


	22. Monster Mash

**Ok so something happens at the end of the chapter that I didn't expect but after trying to wrangle it, it wouldn't change so I let it be. I'm happy with how it came out I just wish my inspiration didn't have a mind of its own... (I know what you're thinking, "weird much Ilithya?" Trust me I'm with you!)**

**Once again I ask you to read the closing A/N. Thank you :)**

******A special thanks to cbmtmorris for the NY information, I'm already putting it to good use.**

**P.S. If you're interested go to ilithyae at blogspot dot com to check out the costumes. I think you'll need a visual to keep up with everyone's outfits.**

* * *

Bobby Pickett- _Monster Mash_

* * *

**BPOV**

_2003._

_"Good morning Washington! This is DJ Mary J coming to you live from KEXP 90.3 in Seattle where music matters! First and foremost Happy Halloween ghouls and girls, let this be the spoookiiieeest of the all Halloweens! Moving on to the music, let's listen to Justin Timberlake's _Rock Your Body _off his white hot debut album _Justified_._"

I turned over looking up at the off-white ceiling of my little childhood bedroom. Halloween. Otherwise known as the Sluttiest Day of the Year. _Mean Girls _could not have described it better.

I looked over at my costume that hung on my closet door; Alice expected me to wear it to Jamie Harkin's Scary Fright Fest party. His parents went to San Diego for some needed R&R and Jamie planned the party in record time.

Alice decided to be different and asked Esme to let her borrow her best 80s outfit. Esme thought this was a bad idea since she treasured her clothes but after a lot of insisting and promising to be careful, Esme gave in to Alice. Rose and I chose to buy our costumes; I had nothing special in my closet and Rose was too lazy to make her own.

We spent the day in pop-up Halloween costume shops in Port Angeles trying costume after costume. After twenty costumesbetween us, Rosalie taking the lion's share, Rosalie bought a _Top Gun _inspired bomber jacket to go with a khaki gold zipper miniskirt she had at home and black leather boots.

I wanted to take home a simple Renaissance costume but they told me off playing it off by convincing me to get a Robin Hood costume complete with archer's cap and knee-high boots.

"If you don't buy this and wear this, Bella," Rosalie cornered me against the wall of the fitting room, "I will _find_ you." She whispered staring at me straight in the eye and sending a chill down my spine.

"This was made for you Rosalie not me." I told her rolling my eyes at her.

"You have the boobs for it." She told me turning me around and forcing me to watch myself in the mirror.

"And the legs." Alice nodded pushing herself in. They both stared at me through the mirror, "so you're a size 12 who cares?" Rosalie scoffed fixing the sleevelets that came with the costume.

"You're so lucky you're proportionate. You have the holy trinity of plastic surgery," Alice told me as a matter of fact. "The boobs." She pointed at my chest, Rose turned me around, "the ass," she swung me back like a rag doll and Alice finished "the cinched waist."

"You sound like a broken record."

"Pot calling the kettle black." Rosalie told me walking out with Alice, "trust me Bella wear this and you'll quiet all those losers who ever called you fat- hey Alice," she spoke to Ali after they closed the door behind them, "is that Jane Winters with Emmett?!"

"Where?!" I started to take off the costume before Rose threw herself back into the fitting room, "Rose!" I yelled covering up even though I hadn't actually taken anything off.

"Oh shut up Bella," she laughed, "it's not like I see what you've got every day in my mirror."

"Jeez Rose."

"Listen," she looked at the door conspiratorially, "take a sexy picture wearing that costume tonight and mail it to Edward, he'll be eating out of your hand in no time." She winked and giggled into her hand.

"I don't think so." I blew out.

"Oh come on, give him a little nibble; I bet he'd eat you up in a second." She hip-checked me, and jumped up and down.

"Rosalie?" Alice asked obviously back from snooping around, "yeah?" Ro walked out dropping the subject. "Oh sorry, did I make a mistake?" She stepped out, "the dude looked like Emmett I swear, but then again Emmett wouldn't date someone like Jane."

Rosalie had decided to forget about Emmett because of how negatively Alice had reacted towards Edward and I. Although she still found him attractive she didn't seek him out nor talk about him at all.

I'd called Alice out bringing back our conversation of her hoping to see Emmett and Rose together to ease her way towards Jasper, she'd told me Rosalie and I were very different- I'd been her best friend first and it would hurt her more if she lost me than Rosalie, "I still love her of course but I don't know… I've seen you as a sister longer."

So here I was, Halloween and my best friends had convinced me to wear the sluttiest costume I'd ever bought. I never dressed up for school decided to go in all black to keep up with the dark themes of the day. I sighed looking over at the costume through my vanity mirror as I brushed my hair. I began running through the pros and cons for the umpteenth time.

_Pro: you look good in it._

Con: it's revealing.

_Pro: it's sexy._

Con: my boobs look like they're about to pop out.

_Pro: it shows off all your assets._

Con: it's too short.

_Pro: it's long enough._

Con: I'm going to die in those boots.

_Pro: you've tripped enough for people to see it as normal._

Con: Charlie won't like it.

_Pro: good thing he'll be in Jefferson County then._

This is stupid. I sighed heavily as something else in my mirror caught my eye. A photo of Edward looking at the camera with cocky smile and mischievous eyes as he leaned forward. I'd taken the photo when we'd been sitting in the game room watching some television procedural and I was asking him if he was the killer. He in turn took the camera and took a horrible picture of me mid laugh. I wasn't even looking at the camera but he said he loved it and made it a point to develop it.

As if I'd called him telepathically my landline began to ring. "Hello?"

"You still have the costume right?" It was Alice and she sounded accusatory.

"Yes." I was a little disappointed because I hadn't heard from Edward in over a week, he'd submersed himself in his studies since the professors upped the paperwork and expected more from the sophomores, as a requirement he had to volunteer at a small public clinic. Lest to say he had no time to spare and I had to be honest, I felt a little neglected.

"You better. Hey listen Jasper sent me a quick email-"

"What?" My eyebrows shot up, I had no idea Alice was making headway with Jasper. As far as I could tell she was dealing with Stonewall Jackson. Unfortunately for her, he'd decided to finish summer vacation in Chicago getting to know the city and looking over the apartment Principal Whitlock had bequeath him. She in turn gave her resignation to the school district and with a lot of woe but not a single peep as to why, she moved to The Bend.

Jasper asked us for discretion saying he would hate it if the general public found out about their background. "It makes things messy." He'd told Alice when she asked him why.

"-do you think responding to emails are the same thing as giving someone your phone number? You know the whole 'three day rule' thing."

"How- what did he say?" I asked stupidly.

"When he went to Chicago I gave him my email just to keep in touch and I checked it this morning and _voila_! There it is!" She buzzed, "here let me read it out to you, _'hey Pix,' _he calls me Pix too isn't that awesome?!"

"Uh ye-"

_"Hey Pix just wanted to drop a quick line. As you probably already know Edward and I have no time to do anything other than drink black coffee and run around like chickens with our heads cut off. I'm glad you're taking to senior year so well, take advantage of it now because in less time than you think you'll be right here where I am.' _Oooohhh! Do you think he means that literally? As in I'll be with him?"

"Alice I just think he means what he wrote, 'take advantage because soon you'll be stressed out like us.' Nothing more."

She sighed, "you take the fun out of everything." I glanced at the clock shrieking, "I'm going to be late! See you in school!" I hung up and ran downstairs running to the kitchen and grabbing a packet of Poptarts before sprinting to my truck and driving to school.

After a lot of cursing and a slow-moving truck, I got to school in time to see Alice drive up in her brand new charcoal Corolla her parents had given her for her seventeenth birthday five days before. It wasn't the color she wanted but knowing she could ask to change a gift she kept her mouth shut and accepted the car graciously.

"Look at you all floaty and shit." I said as she shut off her stereo effectively killing Britney off but Alice still hummed the tune of _A Slave 4 U_. She came dressed in her 80s pop girl outfit making me wonder how Esme felt as Alice drove off to school.

"I've decided to answer back tomorrow morning, it's not immediate it shows my interest but it tells him I have a life, you know?" I rolled my eyes starting to walk towards the entrance of the school. She looked me over as I looked around the sea of colorful people. There were five Michael Jacksons fighting in the quad over who did a better job, a few Britney Spears to which I wasn't surprised, an array of superheroes and heroines and a lot of really crappy DIYers. _Good thing we didn't go for that otherwise you'd be among them._

"Why didn't you wear your costume?"

"Because I'm not wearing that thing for more than three hours and besides I'm still deciding on it." I snapped feeling the chill of the wind, the forecast said cloudy with a chance of rain but it looked like a long shot.

"Oh god." Alice groaned at me, "where's Rose?" I asked wanting to change the subject. I looked back at the parking lot and didn't spot her red Civic. "Do you think she's running late too?"

"Probably." Alice shrugged watching a _Diamonds_-Marilyn Monroe trying to look sexy and cute as the Justice League and Pinocchio sniggered behind her. "Ruins the whole song and number for me," she said under breath.

"Tell me about it." Rosalie snorted to our right. We turned around to find Rosalie wearing black baggy jeans, white tank top and an unbuttoned blue checkered men's shirt. To finish off her look she wore a white skull cap under a Detroit Lions baseball cap and a fake gold chain. I could see Alice had on what I assumed the similar look of shock that I felt.

"What. The. Fuck." Alice exclaimed about to go into epileptic shock. The bell rang all over and everyone around us groaned and moaned making their reluctant way to first period but I was too distracted to care.

"What?" Rose looked between us oblivious as to why we stared.

"What happened to the _Top Gun _outfit?" I asked stupidly, I noticed she wore starch white sneakers. Rose looked at herself, "you didn't think I was going to wear my costume to school right? I would be asked to wear those nasty sweaty school shirts they keep in the office." She shivered.

"And you think being dressed as Vanilla Ice's illegitimate daughter won't get you in trouble?" Alice shrieked every bone in her fashionista body must have been shaking in horror because I could sense imminent demise.

"_Ice, ice baby!_" Rose sang mockingly starting for class, she had Government with Alice while I had Pre-Cal in the bungalows on the edge of the baseball field. "I'm Eminem biatches." She mimicked his tone, "notice the Lions?" she pointed at her cap.

"Oh forgive me Marshall; I didn't recognize you under the blonde hair and BOOBS!" I yell running towards class, I figured the tardy bell would ring in less than a minute and I would most definitely be late.

"You know it babe!" Rose answered back as Alice berated her about her choice in school costume.

~.~.~.

"I told you didn't I?" Alice asked Rosalie as we sat at our usual table outside of the cafeteria. Rosalie had been sent to the office and asked to wear one of the sweaty school shirts she'd been dreading and leave her cap, hat and chain to be picked up after school. She dug into her mac and cheese before answering her.

"Whatever," she shrugged but we knew better. She wasn't going to let Alice get her way, "I took a risk and it backfired on me."

"I swear Rosalie you did it to ruffle the administrators' feathers."

"True dat." She answered winking at me, I chuckled eating some of my mac and cheese. "You looked good this morning Rosalie, too bad they told you to take it _off_." Jamie Harkin told her thickly as he passed by with Tyler Crowley, Mike Newton and Eric Yorkie.

"Thanks." Rosalie told him, Alice and I sent each other knowing looks. Everyone in school knew Jamie was after Rose and he'd been working on getting her to go out with him since freshman year.

"So you're coming tonight right?"

"To?"

"My party…" He looked at her incredulously. Jamie made himself out to be Edward Cullen's successor-the most popular and coveted guy in school. I grinned at myself, I still saw Edward as two different people. The Edward that'd walked through these halls still got under my skin and made me want to cut his balls off but once I walked away from school I remembered the Edward I knew now, my boyfriend

Rosalie looked at the ceiling as if making memory, "oh yeah, I forgot." Alice and I sniggered into our food, Ro loved playing hard to get. "Sure why not?" Jamie turned a violent red and walked off saying something affirmative.

"Is it true Bella?" Mike asked me, I looked at him dumbly. "That we're going to Jamie's party? Uh… I guess."

"No, that you're dating Cullen." He threw Alice a quick look, she looked at him questioningly.

"Yeah." I nodded remembering his last encounter with Edward. Since then Mike barely spoke to me at work, ignoring me completely and not bothering to order me around. Angela found this odd but welcome not questioning him in case he went back to being a Napoleonic ass.

The image of Edward popped up making me wistful.

"Why?" Mike asked me suddenly.

"Why not?" Alice piped up, Mike looked at her blankly but went back to me, "he's a jerk to you though."

"What do you know about their relationship Mike?" Rosalie asked cocking her head to the side and squinting her eyes.

"Not much but I know he can be an ass to her." Mike answered Rosalie defensively.

"What?" Rose looked at me and then at him, "you like Bella or what?" She asked him point black, _whoa. Mike? _The voice scoffed, _yeah right!_

"Not even," Mike answered back taking a step back, "you swear I'd like someone like _her_. I was just asking." He walked off to sit with his friends which began asking him about us. Mike's words didn't sting per se but I did find it odd that he would act and react so oddly.

"What the hell was that?" Rose asked watching Mike who glanced at our table as Eric tried getting his attention.

"He and Edward got into a thing last summer and let's face it, Mike wanted to be Edward when we were younger." I said trying to sweep the encounter under the table.

"A thing?" Alice asked me leaning forward to hear me better, "what about?" I shook my head not wanting to make something bigger than it actually was. "It's not even worth mentioning, I think the pot finally got the last of his brain cells." I tried making a joke to change the subject but they wouldn't fall for it.

"If Mike likes you and tries to steal you away from Edward, he's got a whole thing comin'!" Alice said passionately shooting daggers at Mike's head. I laughed, "say what? I thought you didn't like Edward and I together."

She looked at me sheepishly, "I'm warming up to the idea…" I beamed feeling relief, "besides you're Edward's girlfriend, no offense Bella but if you leave my brother for _that_ I will shoot you." She told me in all seriousness. Rosalie and I looked at each other and burst out laughing, the storm had finally passed.

~.~.~.

I fixed the little faux leather pouch on the belt of the costume looking at myself in the mirror. I sighed again knowing there was no turning back. I would wear the costume otherwise face the berating and ire of my best friends.

My phone rang and I through myself on my bed to get it hoping it was Edward. "Baby?"

"Ahhh my bitches be ready?" Rosalie asked me in her Eminem voice, I rolled my eyes. "Not who you expected?" She asked me in her regular voice.

"Yes." I pouted, "I haven't spoken to him in a week and I miss him."

"Have you called him?"

"No," I admitted, "he's so busy all the time I'm afraid of getting in the way."

"Fuck that! Check up on him before I pick you up." She ordered me. I looked at the wall curiously, "you're picking me up?"

"Yes, you don't think I'm going to give you an out right? What guarantees you not showing up with your Wednesday Addams costume like I did with my Eminem outfit this morning?"

"Oh come on!"

"I'm hanging up now so you can call Edward." And she did. I bit my lip glancing at the clock, it was about to be eleven in the east coast. _Call him, you've been thinking about him all fucking week and you need your fix!_

Bracing myself for possible rejection I dialed the apartment. "Mac Daddy residence." Jasper answered.

"Jasper?"

"Bella?" He asked me brighten up. "How are you?"

"Good thank you, is Edward home?"

"No," he told me sadly, "he's still at the clinic, there was a small chicken pox outbreak at an elementary school and all the low-income families went to the clinic for free medical help. Edward is in charge of organization."

"Oh." I looked at my hand feeling the burning disappointment begin to spew into my throat. "I see."

"I'll let him know you called though," he told me reassuringly, "don't tell him I told you but he _really_ misses you. He keeps complaining about not having a moment to call you- I expect him back in an hour and a half, I'll tell him you called and maybe he can call you then?"

"I won't be home, there's this costume party some guy from school is throwing and I doubt Rose and Alice will let me get out of."

"Oh. Well maybe he can call you tomorrow?" And just like that, the disappointment went away "thanks Jazz."

"No problem." He paused and I was about to say goodnight when he spoke again, "hey Bella?" He sounded nervous all of a sudden.

"Yeah?"

"I don't mean to sound nosy but from what Edward confided in me you were reluctant to like him at first because of your past right?"

"Uh yeah…" I wondered where he was taking this.

"And you were afraid of what it might cause between you and Alice right?" I could feel his burning curiosity and hoping one favor will pay for the next I decided to be honest with him. "Yes that's right."

"But you liked-like Edward a lot, so much you were willing to risk it..?"

"Jasper… what are you trying to get at?" He cleared his throat and chuckled nervously, "no nothing. Hey I'll let you go, I don't want to make you late for your party."

"Jasper-" I heard the click of the phone and stared at the receiver running through our conversation and trying to make sense of it all. There was more to Jasper's line of questioning but what was it? Before I could process everything Rosalie was outside honking for me to come down. I grabbed my black coat and ran downstairs and out of the house.

Alice would meet us at the party later on.

Rosalie blasted the Christina Aguilera CD she bought at her concert back in July. We'd gone to dinner before heading to the concert, had a blast dancing and singing along to her songs and sooner than expected and sooner rather than later Dr. Cullen was picking us up go head home.

"Did you talk to him?" Rosalie asked as I got in, she'd been listening to _Come on Over, _the song made me smile because it reminded me of Edward and I.

"No," I said resigned now, "Jasper said he was still at the clinic he volunteers at but he would pass on the message to call me tomorrow."

"That sucks." Rose said waiting for me to buckle up.

"Yeah but something interesting happened…"

"Tell me." She sped off like a maniac much like Edward when he got behind the wheel and he knew he wouldn't get caught. _Of course Rose knows she got get caught tonight. Charlie's in Jefferson County and the rest of the squad is at the station watching reruns of _The Nanny _and slobbering all over Fran Drescher. _

We reached Carey Avenue where the Harkins lived, the street was full of parked cars signaling the early guests. "Fuck, everyone's here already and it's barely eight." Rose noted as she looked for parking. We found on the opposite side of the block forcing us to walk the rest of the way in four- five in Rose's case, -inch heels.

"I hate you." I said taking tentative steps in the brown monstrosities I wore. We'd been blessed with clear weather and even though it was below fifty we'd decided not to wear leggings with our costumes.

"Oh shush." Rose said grasping my hand for support, didn't wear a shirt underneath her revealing bomber jacket showing off her flat stomach and small waist. "At least your wearing something that won't freeze her stomach over."

I shivered moaning in frustration, "let's go home instead, we can call the Harkin house and let Alice know to come home."

"No you wuss, we're going to do this. It's our last high school Halloween party and we're going to enjoy it."

"But-" I asked before stepping on a crack between the cement bending my ankle but thanks to Rosalie I didn't break it or fall on my side. "Fuck!"

"Come on, come on." She pulled me watching the ground more intently through the darkness. The streetlamps didn't help much in between. "By the way," Rose said as we got closer to the Harkins house, "don't mention the last part to Alice. She'll spend the rest of the year trying to dissect what Jasper meant and I'm already sick of hearing her whine about him."

"Ouch." I laughed hearing the loud music and watching people making their way to the bright two-story early American house at the end of the block. "Don't leave me hanging you know it's true." She whispered as we reached the lawn, "ok enough of that, let's have some fun!" She put on her aviator glasses to finish off her look and sauntered into the house with me closely behind feeling out of place and watched.

~.~.~.

Alice got to the party an hour and a half later. Rose had gotten into the groove of things and began doing shots with Jane Winters and Victoria Redding. Drinking my Coke and feeling out of place I stood next to the fireplace keeping an eye on Rose and Alice's arrival.

"Sorry I'm late," Alice yelled over The Backstreet Boys' Greatest Hits, "Emmett came home for the weekend and we were looking at old family albums before I realized I was late for the party!"

"Emmett's home?!" I covered my right ear and came close to her to hear her properly.

"Yeah! He's leaving Sunday morning though; he needs to finish up some work for the firm!" She looked at me excitedly, "they might ask him to be a full time employee even though he still needs to take the last four license exams. They love him too much to risk him getting a better offer somewhere else!"

"That's great!" I yelled back feeling happy for him.

"Alice!" Rose noticed us and made her way to where we stood, she and Alice drank once or twice but Rose never drank this way.

"Well fuck." I was close enough to hear Alice say without yelling.

"Yup." I told her, the song changed to 50 Cent's _In da Club_ to which Rose shrieked and began to pull us to the dance floor excitedly not caring about elbowing a drunk Elmo out of the way. "This is my song!"

"Rose I don't feel like dancing!" I told her not knowing if to laugh or feel annoyed she was drunk already.

"Oh come on Bella!" She began to move, swinging her hips provocatively to the music. "_Go, go, go, go, go, go go shawty,_" she pointed at me and began grinding on me, Alice stared with amused amazement, "_it's your birthday- we're going to party like it's your birthday!_" She began attracting attention and everyone- especially the guys looked at us with their mouths open_. "We goin' sip Bicardi like it's your birthday and you know we don't give a fuck cuz it's your birthday!"_

Jamie who was dressed as Jason complete with plastic "bloody" straight machete danced to the song usurping me and dancing with Rosalie who was having too much fun to care or know she was dancing with him.

"What do we do?!" I asked Alice as the crowd danced around them.

"Let her have her fun! What could happen?!" She laughed going to get herself a drink not bothering to ask me if I wanted one because I would decline.

I went to refresh my Coke in the kitchen where the refreshments had been set up. Some people loitered around not stepping away from the assorted junk food Jamie offered as party food, I also noticed a line forming for the two kegs of beer next to the fridge.

I ran into Jamie with his mask on but not machete, "weren't you just in the living room dancing with Rose?" I asked him not having to yell since the music wasn't so loud there.

"I just got here." Mike told me taking off his mask, I blinked realizing he and Jamie chose the same costume.

I laughed, "you and Jamie are definitely best friends!" I exclaimed wondering if guys were as anal about dressing alike a girls.

"Why do you say that?" He said leaning forward grinning.

"You chose the same costume, duh!"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah." I took a sip of my Coke and was about to go back to find Alice and when Mike grabbed my hand stopping me from leaving. I looked at his hand over my arm and then at him. He looked down letting go. "Sorry."

I nodded once not saying anything and turning again, "you look nice Bella." I stopped in my tracks feeling my heart stop for a second. I turned back and stared at him. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier today."

"Mike," I felt suspicious, why was he acting so weird all of a sudden. Before I could ask for explanation a familiar Superman walked into the kitchen looking for beer. "Bella?" Jake asked me giving me the once-over.

"Hey Jake." _Awesome, fanfuckingtastic. _

"Wow you look _good!_"

"Thanks." I cleared my throat, "nice costume," _Superman? Really? How fucking unoriginal did he have to be? I can't believe you considered him for a second._

His lack of originality made him look dorky to me but I didn't voice my opinion, instead I excused myself and ran off to find Alice.

_Well,_ the voice told me mocking me, _I guess you're alone now, _as I watched Alice dancing with Eric Yorkie who'd come as a huge red Solo cup wearing a white ball as a hat. _Got replaced by the beer bong guy._ I gave her the mental finger and went back to my corner by the fireplace only to find Kate Denali already there, the voice laughed at me.

Kate scooted to the side when we looked at each other, she was dressed in a simple white flowy dress, a faux leather fringe vest with stitched flower signs, a multi-colored peace necklace and a thin brown headband over her blonde haired-head. I noticed she wore dainty little light brown sandals with turquoise beads at the end. She drank out of a Solo cup making me think of Eric quickly, as I took my place next to her.

I stood watching my friends awkwardly. I felt Kate watching me and I looked at her, she grinned at me when I caught her watching me. "Robin Hood?" She asked me glancing at my costume.

I nodded feeling odd. Kate and I never spoke even though there was no bad blood between us. Kate never spoke badly about me or my friends which didn't make me dislike her.

She kept to herself for the most part and all I knew about her was the fatherly connection she with Tanya. Mr. Denali had left Tanya's mother for Kate's, the current Mrs. Denali. Irina was the daughter of Mr. Denali's brother and he took her in when her parents died in a plane crash when they went on vacation a month before Irina's fifth birthday.

I felt I needed to follow up with a question, "hippie?"

"We prefer to be called flower children actually." She told me with fake indignant pride. I grinned and turned back to the party. "I heard you're going to The Culinary Institute of America, is that true?" She asked after a moment. I thought about why she was talking to me all of a sudden, was she in with her sister or was she just trying to make conversation between one wallflower to another?

"Yes. I want to open my own bakery someday."

Kate brightened up turning her body towards me, "I got in too." I gaped disbelievingly, "I want to focus in their hospitality and tourism branch though. I want to run my own five-star hotel or cruise one day."

"You're going to TCIA?" I asked watching a _Scarface_'d Tyler Crawley falling drunkenly on plastic gun causing a ripple of laughter around him.

"Yes." She nodded looking excited. "When I heard you go accepted there I got a crazy idea-"

Everyone had been dancing together to OutKast's _Hey Ya!_ when I heard commotion. I didn't spot Rose thinking she went to the bathroom and realized Eric tried kissing Alice and she responded with a slap. Alice stormed off tripping on her mother's heels. I jumped up to get her but Kate stopped me, "let her go you can't be their babysitter forever."

"I'm not their babysitter," I told her prickling, "they're my friends and I'm here to help them out." Kate shrugged and let me go going back to drinking whatever she was drinking and watching the crowd nonchalantly. Pirate Edward flashed before my eyes but I erased the image in a split second, this was not the time to think of him.

I went to find Alice around the house and found her in the tiny backyard with other people as they did shots of hard liquor.

"Alice," I told her trying to take the shot out of her hand, "I think you've had enough to drink."

"Oh come on Bella it's not that bad!" She giggled pulling away and taking the shot. Everyone around us cheered her on as a junior from school poured another shot of vodka spilling over her hand not bothering her at all.

"Alice I really think-"

"Let her have her fun, Bella. You're such a stick in the mud." I closed my eyes immediately wishing I was home, I turned around to face who'd spoken already knowing who she was.

Tanya stood in a strapless white corset and skirt with pink piping and satin bows. She wore a matching headband that tied under chin in pink satin, thigh high sheer white stockings and pumps. She held a shepherdess' crook that, of course, matched her costume. Her hair had been curled at the ends giving her an angelic look.

_Ugh, I hate to admit it but she looks hot._

Traitor.

The voice shrugged, _you look hot too._

"Not everyone thinks they're angel from heaven sent to take care of us sinners." She said in a sugary sweet voice. Irina stood next to her like always, in a horrible Daphne Blake costume complete with a super fake red wig, she giggled mockingly at me. I ignored Irina and stared at Tanya, her words hit me the wrong way as I thought of Edward yet again.

The insecure, irrational part of me wondered if Edward had shown Tanya his tattoo and she was flaunting it now. "Earth to Bella." She said after I didn't respond.

"What?" I asked dumbly. She and Irina looked at each other and chuckled knowingly.

"I told you she wouldn't get it." Irina whispered theatrically.

"What do you mean by that Tanya?" I asked aggressively. She looked at me smugly, "oh nothing, just a little inside joke." She dropped her airy tone for a serious one taking a step closer to me, I could hear Alice singing along to another rap song behind me but I stood my ground in front of Tanya.

"Is it true that you and Edward are dating?"

I couldn't help but smile big and wide, letting it speak for me. Tanya glared at me and giggled as a way to recover yet again. "You do know Edward's mine right?"

"Apparently he didn't know that." I said in quiet triumph. The voice was jumping up and down fist pumping and dancing in her underwear.

"He was mine once and he'll be mine yet again." I looked at Irina who watched us intently but didn't come closer knowing this was between Tanya and me. I knew that I was taking a huge risk in my next move but I needed to draw the line in the sand otherwise Tanya would take advantage and run with it.

I came closer and whispered near her ear quietly, deadly and slowly, "we both know he was never yours Ty."

She bristled stepping away and glaring at me, "that's what they all say." She spewed, "don't tell me Edward made you believe he's a virgin?" My heart dropped feeling like someone dropped ice water on me. "Oh no honey," Tanya's eyes flashed with malice and threw her last punch, "it's easy to know if a girl's a virgin but there's no way of proving a guy isn't."

_No no no no no no no no no no no._

"It's true," Tanya nodded as her eyes danced, "I assume he told you about how he wasn't able to get it up a few times but when he moved to New Hampshire he fucked me in every way possible." She whispered in the same tone I'd boasted in what felt like a life time ago. "Sorry to burst your ignorant bubble sweetie." She told me leaving me in the middle of the backyard surrounded by people but feeling utterly alone.

I knew it was too good to be true.

~.~.~.

**EPOV**

I searched for my keys through my satchel as I cussed the universe for slowing me down. Once I found them I threw them in the bowl I designated to be the key holder dumping my bag and kicking my shoes off. I gave out a huge sigh of relief as I felt the weight of the day roll of my shoulders. I went to the coffee table taking a cigarette and lighting it up.

The lighting in the apartment was muted not signaling Jasper's absence or presence. I took the first puff relishing in the immediate rush of nicotine. "Mmm…" I hummed as I walked to the kitchen looking for food.

I grabbed a TV dinner and threw it in the microwave after taking off the wrapping. I was halfway through it when Jasper strolled out of his bedroom. I'd been sitting watching the news when he sat down. "Hard day?"

"Fuck yes. A kid kicked me in the balls after I told him to wait for the doctor to him a shot and a little girl bit me in the arm," Jasper howled in laughter, "I had to get tested and everything. The parents begged me not to press charges but how could I? I mean it was a six year old kid who's afraid of needles. She was hardly some psycho bitch who was after my sperm."

"Ahaha! Maybe she'll turn into some psycho bitch who's after your sperm in twenty years!"

"Shut up." I punched him playfully, "I hated today."

"Sucks." He said after a minute of unstoppable laughter but feeling like that wasn't all he had to say. "What's up?"

"Bella called." He said indifferently, watching me.

"Really?" I stood up alert, "when?" I looked at the clock and wishing I'd been here to speak to her.

"Two hours ago."

"Fuck!"

"She said to call her tomorrow." Jasper got up and stretched yawning loudly.

"It's 9:45 in Forks right now, I have enough time to call her- I just hope Charlie doesn't mind." I got up to dial her number but Jasper cut me off. "She's at a Halloween party dude." My face fell feeling disappointment fall on me. _This is not my fucking day._

Just when I admitted defeat the phone rang. Jazz and I stared at it, "do you think she has this place bugged?" Jasper asked jokingly as he looked around the walls of the apartment.

"Don't be stupid," I scoffed, "she's never been here." I answered the phone, "hello?"

"You fucking jerk!" Rosalie shrieked sloppily. I pulled away at the pitch of her voice, Jasper's eyebrows shot up.

"Rose?" I asked getting over the surprise.

"H-how could you d-do this to her?!" I could hear crying and yelling on the other side of the phone. _"No Belza let me talk to him!"_

"Is that Rose?" Jasper asked quietly.

"Yeah, she sounds drunk and upset." I transferred the call to speakerphone hanging up the handset so Jasper could listen too. "Bella's breaking up with you you fucker!" Rose yelled victoriously.

"What?" Jasper whispered coming closer to the phone, "w-what do you mean Rose? Let me talk to her." I demanded.

I heard the transfer but instead of hearing Bella I head Alice, "h-how could you lie you fucker! I told you not to break Belba's heart yous fucker! Oof!" I heard a crash followed by maniacal giggling and sobbing in the background, "_fuck! Mom's going to kill me!_"

"Alice what's going on?!" I took the handset and tried listening to the background. "What do you mean Bella's breaking up with me? Where is she?"

"S-she's right here, _it's ok Bella I promise he won't break our friendship_!" There was a whimper in the background and when the line went dead. I felt dread thinking of a million things at once. Jasper jumped up taking out his cellphone and calling my house. I sat on the floor trying to assess what they'd told me.

"Emmett? You're home?... Listen where are the girls?... They just called Edward and they sounded out of it… they definitely sounded drunk. That's why I called you. Ok, yeah. Oh." Emmett must have asked something bad because Jasper didn't answer right away, "um… he's… no he's fine it's just that… listen, go pick them up and give us a call when they're home. It would put us at ease. No problem man." He hung up and crouched down to level with me.

"She called to break up with me." I said going through what I could have done to cause this.

"They're drunk Edward." He said slowly.

"Bella doesn't drink." I was on autopilot, but's, what's and it's running through my mind a mile a minute. _This is all some sick, sick joke. It has to be._

"There's always a first time."

"I should have called her even to say hello. She probably feels neglected."

"Bella's more mature than that."

"Then why the fuck would she break up with me?!" I snapped getting up and pacing around feeling furious towards her. How dare she drop me like this? After everything we'd been through? Who the fuck did she think she was?

"Think back to the call, were there any other cues as to why she was breaking up with you?" Jasper asked me levelheaded.

"I-I don't know. Alice was saying something about breaking friendships and how she was right or whatever the fuck." _The sobbing. _"Someone was crying." I looked at him for answers.

Jasper looked at me surprised, "Alice or Rose?"

"Rose was yelling at me so it wasn't her."

"And Alice was too-"

"Bella was the one crying."

"But why would she be crying?"

"I-I don't know. Jasper what the fuck is going on?"

"Let's just wait for Emmett to get back to us," he said putting her hands out to try and relax me, "I'm sure he'll have more answers and we'll know they're safe and sound."

I nodded sitting down but not being able to stay much longer, I paced around the room not being able to contain myself and stay in one particular part of the room. Fifteen minutes passed that felt like hours when the phone rang again.

Jasper went to pick it up but I pushed him aside to do it myself. "Hello?"

"Edward?" Emmett answered breathlessly, "they're plastered and upset but I found them."

"What the fuck happened?"

"They weren't able to handle the alcohol; Alice and Rose threw up uncontrollably and Mom's taking care of them now."

"What about Bella?" I demanded frantically, "where is she?"

"She's here in her room. She locked herself in there and asked not to be bothered."

_Alcohol. _

_Alcohol didn't agree with her and that's why she's acting so erratically. _"Have them drink anything with electrolytes and two glasses of water before they go to sleep." I instructed feeling relief.

"Bella didn't drink dude, you know that. Dad already checked Alice and Rose out, they just need to flush the alcohol out."

"So Bella really wants to break up with me? Tell her I need to speak to her please." I commanded.

"Um…" He faltered.

"Emmett help me out please." I begged wanting to jump through the phone lines and speak to Bella that instant. "Did she give a reason as to why she's breaking up with me?"

"Edward…" I knew it was the tip of his tongue but he didn't want to say it out loud. "What? Whatever you have to say, just say it."

"You should have been honest with her Edward, I expected better of you." He reprimanded angrily, I stared at the wall astonished. "Why the fuck would you lie to her about being a virgin? That's a really disgusting thing to do just to get her to sleep with you, bro."

"Wait, wait, wait. What?!" Jasper came to stand next to me, he was on edge but collected so unlike me. "What the fuck are you talking about Emmett?! I wouldn't lie about shit like that!"

"Edward come on." He sighed exasperated, "you're talking to your brother- you don't have to lie to _me_."

"I am not lying to anyone you fucker! Do you want me to tattoo it over my fucking body or what?!" I felt like ripping him a new one, how dare he question me? I mean he was supposed to be on my side no matter what.

"Then why the fuck would Bella get the idea you lied?"

"I don't know but I'm going to find out." In a rash decision I hung up and dialed American Airlines, the operator didn't even get her greeting out when I started speaking, "I'd like to book a flight from LEB to Sea-Tac please, the earliest flight."

"Wait Edward what are you doing?" Jasper asked me pulling the phone from my ear, I blew out a loud breath of air, "I've been called a lot of things Jasper- most of them are true, but I wouldn't use the virginity card to get into someone's panties. Especially Bella's. I smell a rat and I'm going to smoke it out." I went back to the operator, "do you have something for me?"

"Hold up Edward," Jasper stopped me again shaking his head and sounding reluctant, "I'll call Manchester and have them prepare the jet. The faster you fix this, the faster you get this over with."

I smiled going back to the call, "sorry Miss, cancel that. Thank you." I hung up and went for a change of clothes not bothering to think about packing. "Do you want me to come with you?" Jasper asked me in the living room as I moved around my room looking for fresh clothes. The glare of the light outside of my window hit the various photos I'd bought last Spring.

I'd placed them over my bed where the headboard should have been, they reminded me of the different facets of Bella and I loved the demi-collage I'd created. I felt the anger bubble inside of me once again and I changed in record time putting on what my hands touched.

"I told them you would be the one flying, just show your I.D. and they'll let you through." He instructed as I grabbed my wallet, cellphone and pack of cigarettes. "Edward, do you want me to come with you?"

I hurried to the closet grabbing the thickest coat I owned. "Yeah, please." I told him, he nodded and grabbed his own. "Let's go."

"Don't you want to change?" I looked at his solid navy pajamas secretly dreading waiting for him to change. He looked down at himself shrugging, "nah, I like to fly in pjs anyway. Come on, we'll take my Lexus and leave it in the hangar." He opened the door and let me walk out first.

I was a man on a mission and no one was going to stop me.

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**Dramatic huh? Don't worry, Edward will make it all better ;) **

**So in an effort to have good camaraderie here on FFn I like to check out everyone that alerts my story and you know, return the favor, for reading and being interested in my stuff. (I've found good fics out there) When I came across Cevvin's _Don't You Remember? _I was reading through ch. 2 when I got the impulse to message her and demand her return to the fic, (she hasn't updated since last March.) Good thing for me she was thinking about the very thing which made me very happy.  
**

**So here I am asking you to check her story out and give her some feedback. She only has three reviews two of which are mine and I hope that changes soon. It's romance/angst but things and steamy during E/B's first meeting which I like ;)**

**Side note, she was crazy enough to let me beta her work to which I thank her. I can't wait for the rest XD**


	23. Heartbreak Warfare

**So I posted _Monster Mash_ last night and I couldn't sleep because the upcoming scenes in kept playing in my head. I seriously thought you guys wouldn't like plot twist at the end of the chapter and it was such a relief to find you liked it._ Phew! _Dodged a bullet there lol.**_  
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**Anyway here it is. **

**P.S. I recommend you have the song on repeat as you read this and read the lyrics if you have the time :)**

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John Mayer- _Heartbreak Warfare_

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**BPOV**

Edward lied.

He lied.

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.

Why did I let him tangle me up this way? Why?

My subconscious didn't say anything instead she just laid in the corner motionless. She quietly berated me for letting Tanya get to me but she didn't voice her thoughts. She just laid there.

I thought I'd cried myself to sleep knowing I was in the insufferable limbo that was consciousness and unconsciousness when I heard noises in the bathroom. Edward popped up, he's getting home from going to Seattle with Jasper.

I'm imagining things. Edward isn't here. He's in New Hampshire laughing at my naiveté. At my childish stupidity.

Familiar movements make me think that he is there, getting dressed for bed after a day with the guys. I dig into the pillow pulling the covers closer to me trying to defend myself against the delusions.

The door opens and I still think I'm imagining things.

I open my eyes towards the door and I see that it's closed, no one entered. I heave a painful yet relieved sigh and try to sleep but then I hear a sharp inhale of breath followed by the release. Voice, I call being the first time I actually beckon her, if you're my subconscious shouldn't you be doing something to make me dream?

She doesn't answer continuing to play dead.

My instincts are there though and they tell me I'm not alone. With all the strength I could muster, I looked up and expected to see nothing when his darkened silhouette made me gasp.

"Oh you're up?" He asked darkly through the muted light of pending dawn.

"E-Edward?" I whispered still wondering if my imagination was getting the better of me.

"The one and only, baby." He told me in the same hard tone, it dawned on me that he was there in my bedroom of his parents' house. I felt the anger and betrayal light up inside me as I get up and off the bed. I see him clearly now. His face was stone hard and void of any warmth, he wore mismatched clothes that somehow made it seem like he did this on purpose, his auburn hair looked like it always did- thick, silky and uncontrollable.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I asked feeling my breath rise and fall harshly as my heart pumped to a furious beat.

"This is my house Bella." He opened his hands and motioned around in haughty indifference.

"And this is my room." I shot back feeling the hairs on the back of my neck prickle in defense. He chuckled and took a step to the right as he runs his index finger across his bottom lip pensively. "True but ever since we came into this…" he searched for a word although something told me he was doing it more for theatrics than truly searching for the right word. "… _agreement_ I thought we were free to enter each other's rooms without much of an invitation."

"You lied to me Edward." My voice caught at the end of my sentence, "how could you? I bared myself to you like no one-"

"I would take that," he interrupted me with force, "if I had indeed betrayed you," he swallowed hard and came to me suddenly taking me by surprise. His face was inches from mine, I could see his eyes and they were hallow, dark circles beginning to form under his lashes and instead of the molten jade I was so used to seeing, hard darkened emeralds stared back at me with disdain.

"Don't lie to me Edward," I breathed out pushing him away. My heart beat erratically and my breathing hitched. He followed me as I tried to avoid him, when I looked up he was there again. "Who told you I lied to you about that?" He asked in a deadly whisper.

I scoffed holding myself tightly, I would not cry in front of him, I would not.

"Who. Told. You." He demanded quietly, his tone made me cold to the bone. The last time he had spoken in this tone we'd been arguing about who knows what years ago; before we opened the door to the possibilities.

Before he lied to me.

"Bella." He breathed after I didn't answer him.

"Can't you guess?" I asked trying to kill the frog that was trying to escape through my throat. Memories of Tanya boasting about… their time together, watery drunken yelling on behalf of Alice and Rose, Emmett wrangling us together, Esme reprimanding us for being so irresponsible, Dr. Cullen quietly examining me for any kind of physical trauma after I wouldn't tell him why I was crying uncontrollably.

All of these memories muddled over one another as I tried to burn through the pain.

"Do you think I would be asking you if I knew?" He asked me with offending reproach. "Come on Bella," he laughed rolling his eyes, "you're smarter than that."

"Fuck you Edward Cullen! I don't have to answer your questions; you already know who told me you deceiving son of a bitch!" I snapped punching his chest with all my might, he grabbed my wrists together in a quick movement spinning me around and holding me down with his legs.

"Tell me something Bella," I shrieked in protest but he just held me there. He was out of breath but in control, "do you really believe I would lie to you like that?" He came close to my face once again, his breathing slowed down and his eyes became hooded.

I knew I should have panicked, I should have yelled for help but the carnal feelings I had for him woke up and shot straight to my core. We looked at each other both breathing heavily and nosily as I subconsciously searched for a glimmer of truth through the darkness of his eyes.

"Edward…" His name beseechingly, in a moment of weakness I wished to be ignorant of his lies. Ignorance is bliss or so they say. He must have seen something in me because like a wild animal he came forward grasping my face in his hands and kissed me open-mouthed. My hands flew up holding him to me. He growled thrusting his tongue down my throat, in a wild frenzy I bucked him off only to straddle him and continue our assault on each other.

The old adrenaline rush I used to get whenever he and I sparred verbally came back.

This was how I remembered him, I should have always known him- an equally passionate opponent on the other side of the spectrum. _No. _The voice shook her head, _don't you fucking do this to me again! I've worked too hard for you to erase everything I've worked for!_

"Bella." He groaned as I pulled away and attached my lips to the crook of his neck. The voice got up and flipped me off, _fucking psychotic bitch you drive me fucking crazy- and I'm you!_ I laughed out loud relishing in the rush, who the fuck cared if he fucked that slut? The whole town and their brother knew the roadway to Tanya Denali.

I didn't blame Edward now. She was so easy to catch it would have been sad if he hadn't. I dragged my teeth across his jaw remembering something about it in _Cosmo._

I moaned when the new sensation of his stubble shot straight through me_._ Edward's body moved disconnectedly underneath me, he pushed his neck away from me as if unable to take it while his lower body thrust up trying to find my center all the while digging his hands into my upper arms.

I hissed feeling him erect and ready for me as I threw myself into the high.

I reached his throat and went back to where I started thinking back to something the voice- I'd always wanted to do. I flattened my tongue and dragged it slowly across his jaw, he moaned deep in his throat fanning my ego.

Who cares he was hers then, he's mine _now._

"Mine." I whispered not stopping my verbal filter. I turned his head and began doing the same thing on the other side of his jaw.

"Fuck." Edward gasped his eyes opening suddenly but not moving, "I need you Bella."

"Do you?" I asked in the same tone he'd greeted me with in between sucking his throat.

"Yes." He turned to me making me smile widely, "so fucking much." He looked at my eyes with sudden sadness, "but you don't trust me."

"Edward," I didn't want to burst our bubble, I was willing to forget the fact that he deceived me if we never got to talk about it again and go back to our past arrangement. No strings attached, "don't. We shouldn't have tried something more than what we'd already established."

He cocked his head to the side not following me, "what?"

"Listen," I ran my hands through his shirt-plad chest, "what we had before last summer was perfect for us, we made the mistake of getting swept up but we can work-"

Edward eased himself from my grasp looking upset, I sat in the bed as he went to stand against the wall near the window. "You want to break up go back to playing the game?" He sounded confused and out of it.

"Of course." I said feeling a bit of me breaking but I rationalized that it was the best for the two of us. Edward stared at me blankly looking winded. "Who told you?" He asked looking away from me and going back to business suddenly.

I rolled my eyes, "Edward come on, don't be so childish. Whatever you and Tanya did-"

"Tanya." He in reproachful realization, he nodded to himself pacing in a tight circle, "it was Tanya wasn't it?"

"Obviously," I got up from the bed internally trying to keep the pain at bay. I felt so unlike myself but I knew it was for the best. I wanted to be with Edward but he was too dangerous to tangle my emotions with him again. I didn't want to lose him so there was only one way I could have him. "If you were able to have a purely physical relationship with her I'm sure we can have one too."

Edward looked at me oddly, almost as if not recognizing me. His eyes flashed for a moment but he caught himself, "what time is it?" I looked out the window noting the bright light coming in before turning to my alarm clock, "it's just past seven."

He walked off suddenly leaving me there. "Edward?" He crossed the hallway and threw Alice's door open, she and Rose were sprawled over her purple queen bed.

"Alice wake up." He said going to Alice and shaking her awake.

"Edward what the fuck? Let her sleep!" He ignored me groaning at Alice's deep sleep. Rose on the other hand began to stir complaining as she did.

I heard footfalls rushing in the corridor when Esme and Emmett made themselves in, "Edward?!" she exclaimed shocked to find her son home when he was supposed to be in the east coast. "What the hell?" Emmett at the same time as Japer came into the scene. "Jasper?" He exclaimed in the same tone, "hey." He turned to Esme abashed, "sorry to come unannounced Esme."

"W-what are you doing here?" Emse asked stupidly but no one answered her because Rose began to protest.

"What's going on?" She asked getting up, she a set of Alice's hot pink frilly pajamas, if this had been another time I would have made of her. "Ow," she hissed holding her head with her hand, "my head is pounding."

Edward turned to her, "do you know if Tanya Denali has a cellphone or private line Rosalie?" Rose stared at him with squinted eyes as she tried getting used to the flurry of the room. She blinked a few times as I waited for it to click in her drunken-hangover-sleepy brain. Her eyes and mouth flew open, "Edward?!"

"Yeah, yeah it's me." He responded annoyingly, "answer the question, does Tanya Denali have a cellphone or private line?"

"Why do you want it?" I asked feeling insulted he was berating my friends to find my replacement less than twelve hours since we broke up. "I would have thought you had it already." I huffed turning away.

"Contrary to popular belief," he told the room thickly, "I don't- so Rose, do you?"

"I-I don't but-" She looked at me and noticing my look of anger she snapped out of it, "why the fuck do you want it?"

"I need to ask her something."

"I bet you do." Rose spat out loyally, my heart swelled with sisterly fondness. The third member of our sisterhood finally woke up looking around the room with the same groaning and moaning as Rose. She looked around eyes landing on Jasper.

Forget Edward, her brother she had to focus on her crush. "Fuck on a stick!" She yelled pulling the covers up to her neck. I wanted to face palm myself, she practically gave herself out. "What are you doing here?"

"Morning Alice," Jasper smiled obviously trying to prevent a belly laugh, "sorry to barge in on you, we're just having a small get-together. Don't mind us." I turned to him, feeling Rose do the same. My subconscious took her usual place and began commentating, _is he flirting?_

Rose caught my eye- we both remembered the odd conversation I'd had with him the night before. Esme took her chance to try and control the room, "Edward what are you doing here? Why did you drop in like this?"

"Hold on Mom," he answered her quickly before going back to the girls, "so no?"

"No." Rosalie said folding her arms.

"Alright." He took out his cellphone and dialed a number, "hello 411? I'm looking for a listing," he started for the door forcing us to move apart. "Michael Denali, Forks Washington." I walked through the assembled feeling new anger towards Edward. Why the fuck was he so hell-bent on continuing his lie.

He made himself into his bedroom rushing to his desk and finding a loose leaf of paper and pen. I noticed his bed was unmade and slept in. _Huh. _"Hold on can you repeat that?" He scribbled down the number and thanked the operator before hanging up. "Edward why don't you just drop this?"

"Bella," he chuckled dryly, "would an innocent person willingly volunteer himself for the chair?"

"Edward I will not ask you again- what is going on here?!" Esme demanded coming loose around the edges. "I swear I will explain everything once I reach Tanya and get her to come over."

"Edward!" I shrieked, I didn't wish to have Tanya put me in the spotlight, I didn't care what they did together but I wouldn't allow Edward to air out _our_ dirty laundry.

"Bella!" He mimicked as he dialed the number totally disregarding my feelings. _What rhymes with shellfish?_ After a moment he spoke, "hello? Sorry to call so early but may I speak to Tanya please? Thank you." He looked at us with glee as he waited for Tanya to take the call. I thought about walking out but my feet wouldn't move.

"Tanya? Hey, how are you?." He sounded charming and debonair, something I rare was witness to. I felt small dagger go through my chest again.

"Yes it's me." _Chuckle, chuckle_, "I was just calling to ask you to breakfast. No no, I'm in Washington- my plane just touched down and I got the sudden urge to see you." Everyone looked at each other trying to figure him out. He walked around his room nonchalantly and relaxed.

I was seeing yet another facet of him. "I'm taking a taxi home… uh huh… I'll be home in about an hour or so if I don't hit traffic. How about you come go over to the house and wait for me to arrive?" _Chuckle chuckle_, "no nothing's up." He laughed airily, "Bella?" He beamed at me, "oh no we broke up. Yeah." He pouted dramatically, "I know, I know."

I bit my lip tasting blood but I didn't look away from his dark eyes, "anyway I have to go, we're about to disembark. So you're going over?" He stopped in his tracks, "great, great I'll see you then." He hung up and looked at me.

"What was all that?"

"Mom do you think you can give us a moment?" He asked not looking away from me. The tension of the room rose as the invisible winds of power began to shift between he and I.

"You've got to be kidding me," she yelled, "I am not moving from here. What the hell is going on with you? You show up before dawn, you make this whole scene and you don't expect me to demand an explanation?! Edward-"

"Come on Mom," Emmett jumped in taking her by the arms, "we'll explain outside; they need to talk."

"When Tanya gets here, send her up please." Edward told Emmett before starting for the door. He nodded once forcing Esme out. She tried fighting him off but he was naturally buff making it hard for the slender Esme to push him away.

They walked out as Jasper asked the girls to do the same, "let's give them some room."

Alice and Rose looked at me trying to read my body language I smiled meekly trying to hide my nervousness. Alice went up to me, "promise we'll be ok."

"I promise." I told her holding her hand and squeezing it. She seemed placated and left with Jasper, Rose on the other hand stared Edward down waiting for Alice to clear out; she took decisive steps towards him not blinking once. "Break her heart and I'll break your face."

Edward scoffed looked at her incredulously, "from one hot person to another, you know how much my ego would hurt if you did that."

What the fuck? Was he coming on to Rose?

Rose raised her chin blinking once, "I'd break that too." Edward chuckled deeply rolling his neck and going back to her playfully, "I'm sure you would." Rose looked him over and spun on her heel, "yes I would, remember that." She closed the door behind her with a snap.

I looked at the door gathering my wits about me before facing him. "What the fuck was that Cullen?"

"What was what?" He asked turning around and taking off his shirt provocatively. I ignored the ripples his muscles created on the planes of his back as he threw the shirt to the side and made to look for another through the dresser he had against far corner of the wall. He kept one or two shirts and pairs of jeans just in case and I guess this was the case. "Why are you doing this?"

"I'm having a morning date," he told me as he grabbed a black shirt and put it on. "I can't wear what I traveled in." He looked through the rest of the drawers. He turned to the side once he found a pair of jeans. He looked to me as he began unbuttoning his belt, he smirked arrogantly when he caught me staring.

He kicked off the jeans taking his red boxers with them and nonchalantly turned to me keeping the smirk glued on his face. I looked at him defiantly not looking below his chin. I could make out his tattoo but I forced myself not to look at it.

After a moment of glaring between us he fished out black boxers and put them on before his low-hanging jeans. "Who did you dress up as?" He asked me moving around finding socks and putting them on, next were his sneakers.

"Robin Hood."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"So you steal from the rich to give to the poor?"

"I guess."

"Was it that stitch of clothing I saw flung on the side of your bed?"

"Yes."

"I see. It looked pretty short."

"It is."

"And you wore it with the boots that laid next to it?"

"Yes."

"I see." I thought of an intense tennis match- one to him, one to me, one to him, one to me and so on not seeing the end.

"Yup."

"Did you have fun at the party?"

"Oh yes, lots." I said sarcastically thinking of the disaster.

"That's good, that's good." He went into the bathroom leaving the door wide open and he began shaving. "Ask me about my day yesterday."

"Why?"

I shrugged, "I asked about your day, it's common courtesy to ask about mine."

"How was your day yesterday?"

"It was fun." He told me in mock excitement, "I went to class and somehow found the time to finish a comprehensive twenty-page research paper on progressive sclerosing poliodystrophy that I'd been focusing on." He lathered his face with shaving cream, "ask me what I did after."

"Edward-"

"You very unceremoniously broke up with me Bella," he told me sugary sweet, "the least you could do is humor me." I scoffed loudly, "the 'least I could do?' Really Edward?"

"Uh huh." He mimicked children's television hosts, "go on."

"Why don't you just get on with your fucking point and stop with the playing around?"

"_I'm_ playing around?" He asked beginning to shave.

"Yes."

"Alright Bella, let's play around. I mean because we're immature children that don't know a single thing about being in an adult relationship where discussion, open-mindedness _and _trust overpower the need for psychological warfare."

"I'm not an adult." I said quickly and stupidly.

"No, you are not." He laughed continuing to shave, I inhaled deeply trying to keep my anger in check but he sure as hell made it difficult.

"What's your game Edward?"

"Prove my innocence of course- literally." He washed his face once he finished shaving taking out his aftershave and slapping it on. If it hurt he didn't show it, he walked back into his bedroom just as the distant ring of the doorbell rang. Tanya had arrived.

Edward looked out his window and back at me turning soft in a second, "Bella," he asked me quietly taking my hand in his, "do you really truly believe her?"

_No, no, no, no! I don't believe her, I know you would never do this to me! I l-_

"Yes." I blocked my subconscious out not letting her help him envelop me in his web of lies.

"Bella please-"

"I don't know what you're playing at," I snatched my hand away, "but I won't be part of your chess game." He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply, when he opened his eyes he was back to his icy self. My personal Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

There was a knock at the door, "come in." Edward called out and Emmett opened the door with a fresh-faced Tanya. She wore a skin tight black miniskirt and a low cut crème orange spaghetti strap blouse and black five-inch heels. Her hair reminded me of Miss America's- big and overprocessed.

"Edward?" She asked stepping in, her face fell when she noticed me, "I thought you were at- what's she doing here?"

"Emmett, I need to eat something otherwise I'm going to pass out." Edward ignored her and spoke to him in a quiet voice, "can you bring me a glass of orange juice, a water bottle and some celery sticks?"

"Sure." Emmett looked at him thoughtfully and walked out closing the door behind him.

"Sorry ladies, I've been up for the last twenty four hours and I need a little pick me up." He said clapping his hand once and looking at us alertly. "I apologize about the unmade bed Tanya," he sounded false when he said this, "I told Jasper to sleep in my room when we got here this morning and with all the commotion I haven't had a chance to make it." He turned to me and spoke with perfect ease, "Bella do you mind if I grab your desk chair so Tanya can have a seat?"

"No." I answered dumbly, Tanya looked between us nervously, shifting from one foot to the next. "Edward what's the meaning of this?" She asked him as he went into my bedroom and retrieved my chair. He managed to get it through the doorways setting it in front of the mirror facing the bed.

"Sit here Tanya." He instructed her breathlessly, is he tired? _No shit he's tired Didn't you hear him say he's been up for more than twenty four hours?!_

Tanya sat down meekly as he sat down in his own chair, "Bella sit on the bed please." I sent him a look but he just looked at me blankly. There was no color in his face and his black circles looked darker than before.

"Tanya I'm sure you know why you and I are here." He started sounding like a mediator, "why don't you start?"

"Edward what the fuck is the meaning of this?" She asked him indignant and turning red.

"Tanya," he sat back folding his arms and crossing his leg over his thigh, "do you remember junior year?" It must have meant something because she immediately turned a weird dark red and inhaled sharply. "You do, I'm glad." He grinned, "now open your mouth but this time stick to the fucking truth."

"You wouldn't dare." She whispered all in one breath; he laugh sounded bright but there was an indescribable undercurrent. "You dared mess with me, I dare mess with you."

"Edward what the fuck do you see in her?!" She exclaimed standing up and pointing at me like I was some dirty thing.

Emmett popped his head in, "sorry," he walked in with a tray of food for Edward, he followed by Alice and Rosalie who glared at Tanya. "Thanks bro." Edward said letting Emmett hand him the tray, Alice gave Tanya hers and I could have sworn I heard a hiss. Rosalie looked me over quickly, "you ok?" she mouthed.

I nodded smiling slightly, "but I'm not hungry."

"Edward can't be the only one to eat. It's not polite." Alice told me keeping her eyes on Tanya, who tried smiling sweetly at her but it went nowhere. If I knew girl code it was her way of telling me they wanted to check up on me, Alice didn't give a flying fuck about being polite to Tanya.

"If you need anything, call us!" Rose told me when Emmett wrangled them once again and practically pushed them out of the room.

"Sorry girls," Edward said drinking his juice, "where were we?" His eyes fell hashly on Tanya, "ah yes, junior year. Tanya?"

"What does she have that I don't?" She asked defiantly. Edward blinked once then twice before answering her, "that's none of your business."

"Yes it does, I mean I'm-" she glanced at me, "thinner, more attractive and bigger catch than she is."

"That's your opinion Tanya but we're not here to discuss the First Amendment." Edward said slowly, losing his edge. "Tell her the fucking truth or I'll tell your father you-"

"I lied ok!" Tanya stood up spilling the tray and fresh fruit, orange juice and water on the forest green carpet. She faced me but she didn't look at me, instead choosing to stare at the ground.

"What's going on?!" Alice and Rose barged in at the sound of the crash, "if we need to kill a bitch we will!" Alice threatened.

"Get out!" Edward yelled not getting up but sounding definitive. "What happened?" Rose asked looking at the tray on the floor. "Leave it alone," Edward shook his hand, "and get out now." They looked to me but I was still trying to process what Tanya had blurted out before they stormed in.

"Bella?" Alice asked me, taking a step forward. I shook my head, I needed to be alone with her and Edward. "Leave please, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" She tested me but I was desperate to get back to the subject at hand and they were getting in the way, "Alice, Rose I'm fine just please leave. We need to be alone, if I need you I'll call you."

"Ok." Rose said walking out slowly, Alice threw me a last look before closing the door behind her. "Fuck." Edward whispered under his breath.

"What did you say before they walked in?" I croaked getting back without further ado. Tanya gave out a noisy breath staring at the ceiling as if pulling teeth, "I said that to get under your skin alright?"

"You're…" I looked at her then Edward, he looked at me with saddened eyes, "you're lying."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are." I gasped feeling like I was between a rock and a hard place.

Tanya surprised me by stomping her foot, "I lied because he always pushed me and then you waltz into his life- you guys probably fuck every night," she looked at the bathroom door, "I'm sure of it now since I see the way your bedrooms are set up."

Her voice and Irina's from the night before began to ring through my ears, "you said something about angels and sinners and how I didn't get the joke," I looked at Edward accusingly and grasping at any kind of straw. I didn't want to face his truth.

"I heard Alice tell Rosalie about his tattoo last June at Johnnie's." Tanya answered me, irritated. "Irina and I said that to get under your skin too."

"So all of was a lie?"

"Yes and you believed me apparently." She smirked throwing Edward a knowing look, he gave her a dirty one but didn't respond.

"You're lying." I said lamely. _God, this is too fucking painful. Move a side and let me show you how to be Isabella Marie Swan._

"Jeez Bella you sure as hell love being the victim," Tanya ridiculed, "Edward has real dirt on me, which I hope he keeps to _himself_. Do you really think I'm going to risk my hide over poor insignificant _you_? As if!"

"Fucking Tanya-"

"No it's ok." I told Edward taking a moment to myself. I didn't need him to defend me in front of her, especially considering that at the first sign of what I believed to be deception I threw him under the bus and made him out for dead. Tanya laughed vaingloriously at our discord.

I looked at my hands fisting them tightly, ignoring the sting of my nails against my skin. I swallowed hard thinking about all the times Tanya had taken shots at me.

_"How many bags of Cheetos do you eat a day, Bella? A full shipment's worth?..damn, you look like a sausage from a greasy fast food place…I guess the meaning of exercise doesn't exist in your extensive vocabulary huh Bella?..I bet you, your Mom left because she couldn't look at you and your rolls and cellulite… yeah Alice go _feed _Bella. She hasn't had a bite in _minutes_, she must be _starving_… "_

_"You have the trifecta of plastic surgery- the chest, the ass and the cinched waist."_

_ "I'm assuming he told you how he couldn't get it up but right before he moved to New Hampshire he fucked me every way possible."_

_"We both know he was never yours, Ty."_

"Jealousy is an ugly thing Tanya," I said quietly fighting back the angry tears. Tanya scoffed again, "_me_ jealous of _you_? Yeah right!"

"Right!" Next thing I knew I lunged myself forward also forgetting about the try and grabbing hold of her hair and feeling the consistency of straw through my fingers.

"Bella!" Edward screamed in shock, I ignored everything around me as she shrieked and pushed her fingers in my hair in reciprocation, "let go of me!"

"Let me show you what I can do with this extra weight sweetie!" I yelled turning her around pushing her on Edward's bed. Part of me didn't want her anywhere near it but then again I was currently kicking her ass so I focused on that little tidbit rather than on my possessive tendencies.

I heard the door burst open and various shocked gasps followed by cheers, "go Bella!" Alice yelled, "hit her in the fucking mouth Bella, let's see if she lies again!" Rose screamed. I let go of Tanya's hair going of the face and scratching her cheeks, let her deal with the fucking marks when it came.

Tanya growled like hounded animal trying to buck me off but I tightened my hold on her, _hmmm… why must I think of Edward and I during these times? _"I'll teach you to mess with me bitch!" The adrenaline rush coursed through me, but unlike the rush I felt with Edward this made me want to break her bones.

I felt strong arms bind me and begin to pull me away, I felt myself hiss trying to hold on to Tanya who's spaghetti strap had tipped and now flashed me. She yelled trying to cover herself up but it was too late, everyone in the room had seen her boob and the bite marks all over.

"Jesus!" Eliza gasped; "Grab her, Emmett!" Esme yelled sounding stricken.

"Holy shit!"

Did I mention that Tanya wasn't wearing any panties as well as not wearing a bra? Yup, Emmett and whoever stood next to him got a shot of the motherland. She'd obviously expected a little bit more than breakfast when she came over. Too bad for her that meal was all mine.

"Let me go!" I scratched at Emmett's arms but he held on too tightly, he swung me around pushing me through the bathroom door and into be bedroom effectively locking us in.

I heard screeching and yelling as everyone moved around getting Tanya out of the house. "Let me go Emmett!" I screamed digging into his hands, "ow!" He yelled pulling away.

I was out of breath, my clothes were askew and my hair flew everywhere but all I cared about was getting my hands back on that bitch. "I'm going to kill her!"

"Slow down Bella Ella," Emmett heaved holding his scratched out hand, "you took her by surprise but she's the one that would hit below the belt- or rather punch the boob."

"I'd like to see her try!"

"Bella, calm down!" The door opened and Edward burst in looking at me wildly, "Emmett get out I need to talk to Isabella." Emmett stared and me and then him, I breathed harshly trying to control my breathing but it came out as unattractive wheezes.

It also scared me to hear Edward call me Isabella. He'd never _once _called me Isabella since finding out he'd coined my nickname.

"Come on Emmett, go." Edward said he too was out of breath but for totally different reasons. He was exhausted. "Alright."

"Lock the bathroom door as you go into my bedroom." Edward said not looking away from me, I just stood there still wheezing. He didn't say anything until he heard Emmett close Edward's bathroom door.

"I'd like to fuck you right now Isabella for four reasons. One: for not believing me, two: for saying what you said earlier, three: for having me resort to dirty tactics and four for getting into a catfight over me." Edward told me darkly his words going right to my own motherland. "But I'm too mentally and physically exhausted so you'll have to forgive me." He said going to my own unmade bed.

"Edward-"

"I accept your apology," he told me plainly, taking off his shirt, sneakers and jeans keeping his boxers on and showing me his front, his dick stood at full mast and was currently pitching a huge tent, "you always seem to turn me on don't you?" He said holding out his hand for me to take it.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, not for that." He wrapped his hands around me and bent slowly to kiss me. The butterflies went off and danced inside me while my core shivered in need. He sucked on my lower lip asking for permission to enter my mouth. I willingly gave it.

He opened me up and his tongue languidly stroked mine and he moved from one side to the next. He snaked his hands downward towards my ass pushing me against him making us both moan. We continued the quasi-fight until he had to pull away. "If I didn't love you so fucking much I would have dropped you like a ball." He told me tiredly. I couldn't help but gasp.

Edward had said the three little words.

I stared at him blankly not knowing what to say. Sure I knew he did, he'd alluded to it enough times for me to know but what was I supposed to say now?

"Don't," he told me quickly, "don't think you have to respond to that," he kissed the corner of my mouth trying to relax me but my heartbeat was so harsh I thought I would explode. "It's both our faults Bella," he told me as he hugged me, "I thought so fucking much during that five hour flight and then throughout the morning as we spoke. I was so angry at you, I was going to have Tanya admit she lied and leave you here with the break up intact but then… something clicked in me- I couldn't imagine being without you."

"Oh Edward." I hugged him thinking of my huge mistake, of how I'd hurt him by not believing him and trusting him. He'd flown cross-country just to see me and I couldn't believe what I'd done to him. I held on to his neck for dear life as I cried into his throat.

"I should have kissed you instead of teased you when we were kids." He sighed, squeezing me infinitesimally tighter. I laughed feeling relief sweep over me bringing new life to me.

"You did and you got a punch and a shiner to prove it."

"I would do it again though." He whispered pulling me to bed, we laid down together and he sighed as we snuggled.

I knew he needed to sleep so I didn't say anything else. "I love you Isabella-my-Bella-Swan." He sighed dreamingly.

The next words that came out of my mouth were natural and from the heart but surprising me nonetheless, "I love you too, Edward-my-Edward-Cullen." They were out before I could retrieve them back. I tensed in his arms waiting for him to respond every second feeling like another twenty four hours.

I looked up at him wondering why he wasn't saying anything and realized he knocked out cold. I gave out another sigh of relief but this one was tainted with disappointment.

Whoa.

My subconscious kicked me back, _and that's how you do Isabella Marie Swan._

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**Did you see what I did with the old title? ;) It actually came out naturally which made me laugh and I couldn't edit it out it was just too funny to me lol. And with this I go off to work. Blah.**


	24. Metamorphosis

**_(The following A/N was written on 02.02.13). _****Before I begin to thank all of you for being fuck awesome I want you to know I drank a _little_ too much coffee this morning and for some unknown reason I've been on this sugar/caffeine high for about ten hours or so, please excuse my unreasonable gusto.**

**Wow, just wow. All of you leave me speechless with all the feedback you bestow upon me. I have the best readers ever, and I mean that one hundred million percent.**

**I wanted to jump to 2004 with this update but apparently 2003 has one chapter and a half left to tell- the half being in the next update.**

**P.S. The title song is especially close to my heart, I was OBSESSED with Hilary Duff's CD _Metamorphosis_ and the song by the same name- I call 2002-2004 my Radio Disney Phase :D (I was in middle school in 2003) -wipes away tears- I can't believe it's been ten freaking years... fuck.**

**Warning: Part of this update was written during aforementioned sugar high so it might be a little overenthusiastic at parts… sorry…**

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Hilary Duff- _Metamorphosis_

* * *

**BPOV**

_2003._

I laid on my bed staring at the ceiling for hours. All I knew was that it was past twelve, Charlie was snoring in his room and it was windy outside.

I ran most recent session with Dr. Carter through my head over and over trying to read between her lines and my own but hadn't made much headway. I sighed turning on my side, tucking my arm under my ear.

I'd missed our session last week because of what happened with Edward and Tanya, forgetting about it and not bothering to call her. I'd fallen asleep with Edward not realizing how spent I actually was.

He and Jasper slept for most of the day when everything cooled down returning to New Hampshire that night because they both needed to get back as soon as possible. The next day would be Sunday and they still homework to finish.

When I remembered and had the courtesy to call Dr. Carter to apologize she'd already left a voicemail at Charlie's to ask why I'd missed our appointment and if everything was okay. I didn't return home until after Edward left wanting to spend as much time with him as possible since I wouldn't see him until Christmas time.

Charlie found out about my run-in with Tanya and the cause of it. I didn't tell him why I'd wanted to break up with Edward and how he flew overnight to see me- Charlie looked impressed when I told him but he tried to cover it up. After asking me if I was sure I wanted to take him back, I explained that Tanya had lied to me about Edward and I'd fallen for it.

He didn't take the Tanya beat down so well either, he grounded me for a month by taking away my private line telling me he would reconnect it once my sentence was over. I knew he was partially telling the truth though. He also did it to try and keep a tighter leash on my contact with Edward to which I complained about every single fucking day.

"You know what happens when you corner an animal Charlie?" I asked one day after he'd asked me to come to dinner during one of my phone calls with Edward.

"What?"

"They bare their teeth and attack."

"Are you comparing yourself to an animal, Bella?"

"We technically _are _animals Charlie."

"So are you going to attack me? Shall I get my mace and ask Carlisle to have a rabies shot ready for me?"

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha." I walked away slamming my door behind me for good measure. I didn't speak to him for two days.

My sentence was up in a little over a week and I couldn't wait. Charlie was making it insufferable to live with.

"Put yourself in his shoes Bella. He has deep abandonment issues as well. He's freaking out because you're growing up- you're spending most of your time with your girlfriends, you have a boyfriend without his realizing it and you're moving away to college." Dr. Carter told me that morning as I replayed the session over and over.

"I understand that but why is he being so fucking stupid?"

"Because he's human and he makes mistakes too." I scoffed turning away not wanting to accept her answer, "he's afraid of losing you like he lost Renee."

"But I'm not leaving him."

"Your number one choice was a college in New York, your second choice was in Los Angeles. Did you ever consider going to a culinary school in Washington? You know Le Cordon Bleu has a branch here as well as Los Angeles right?" I'd gawked at her, it never crossed my mind to look locally.

Dr. Carter smiled knowingly reading the dawning on my face, "what was one of the reasons why you only looked outside of Washington, Bella?" I looked way, blushing. Of course New York and Los Angeles had prime schooling, they're the two top cities in the country but there were less illustrious but equally qualified schools outside of those cities. Was I ready to willingly admit that Edward living in New Hampshire had been the definitive reason to my choice in New York?

_There's something else underlying in that thought and you know it._

What?

_Why do you want Charlie to watch _Finding Nemo?

Because… oh!

Dr. Carter fixed her glasses, sitting back and watching me think my answer through allowing me time to delve deep.

She had her Handy Dandy Black Notebook at the ready, I'd tried reading it once when she excused herself to go to the bathroom but it was full of psychological jargon and abbreviations that I barely understood. "I guess the major reason why I chose to look outside of the state is I want to escape…" I said slowly looking at the ground and squinting my eyes letting the words permeate my psyche.

"What are you escaping?"

"Charlie's overprotection."

Whoa.

_Bingo!_

"I love my dad but I feel like he's holding on too tightly," the words were out of my mouth before I could fathom what I was realizing. "I feel-no, I _know_ that if I stay in Washington I will forever be with him. I don't mean to say that I'll abandon him but I need to be outside of his sphere for a while otherwise I'll always use him as a blanket and he'll use me as his crutch.

"I know he's afraid of losing me like Renee. To him New York is abandonment, emotional betrayal and psychological danger. I realize that I'm doing is the exact thing Renee wanted to do. Going off to New York, forgetting about my life as I know it and focusing on myself."

"Right." She told me grinning widely and proudly. She didn't try to interrupt my thought process instead, she put her notebook down and quickly took out her recorder.

I knew enough by then to not let this phase me and focused on trying to continue my tangent feeling as I was running for something. A finish line of some sort. "The thing is…" I suddenly heard Edward's voice in my head, _"no one is perfectly good."_ I honed in on what my subconscious was trying to tell me. "_What rhymes with shellfish?"_

"…I've been completely selfish in the wrong aspects of my life…" My heartbeat quickened and my breathing hitched, _the finish line…_ "I shouldn't of hid my attraction towards Edward, I shouldn't of tried to stifle our beginning. I shouldn't have tried to bend his independent will. I should have told everyone I was attracted to him since the very beginning-" distant and foggy memories kept flashing before my eyes, _'I forced myself to look at him before saying anything. He was standing by the huge doors, hair messy and shining even in the shadows of the house; fear all over his stupid _pretty_ face.'_

"I-I should have admitted it to myself from the beginning…"

Dr. Carter said nothing, she just listened watching me intensely, holding her breath. I pushed through my peripheral vision trying to keep my grasp on the fast moving epiphany.

"I've shut myself down," the voice was quiet but intense as if she was waiting for something. "I've always put everyone else's opinions of me ahead of my self-image."

_Yes…_

"I shot myself down since the beginning didn't I?" I asked Dr. Carter but she didn't answer, she just watched me as if not wanting to destroy a once in a lifetime phenomenon. I went on when I realized she wouldn't offer her opinion, "I've always been good, 'stick in the mud' Bella." I laughed mirthlessly giving Tanya points having the insight to see right through me and call me out on it, "it's true…" I whispered more to myself than Dr. Carter, "I do see myself as some self-righteous bitch that came down from heaven to cleanse the sinners…"

_Go on…_

"But who the hell am I to judge them?" I breathed out, "I'm not better than they are. I expected Alice to accept Edward and I just like everyone else not taking her own issues into account no matter how selfish _she_ was being. I'm always looking down at people that don't behave the same way I do.

"I've inadvertently taken on the title of the Chief of Police's daughter to a whole other level…"

"What do you mean?" Dr. Carter asked finally.

"Charlie is who he is because that's him. He's a straight arrow but I don't think I am."

_No you're not._

"I've never drank alcohol- not because I haven't had the curiosity-" Another flashback_, _this one was the day Edward took Jasper to the waterfall with Alice and I'd gotten home after thinking Edward had slept with some redhead after meeting her at a party. _I decided to make myself a cup of coffee but for the first time in my life I had a craving to spike it with alcohol._

_What is that about?_

You want something stronger, duh.

_I wasn't talking to you._

Well too bad because I was_._

_Ugh._

You're so blind.

I stared at the voice and she stared back, she wasn't boastful, if anything she was calm and expectant.

"Then why haven't you ever drunk alcohol, Bella?" Dr. Carter asked me softly. I blinked a few times before coming back to her, "because… I told myself I wouldn't ever drink illegally."

"That's not a bad thing Bella. Maybe you're just not such a risk-taker as some people your age." She noted uncrossing one leg and then crossing the other.

"No," the voice nodded at me for accepting the fact that what she suggested was wrong, "it's because I was being self-righteous once again." I laughed feeling like a small weight lifted off my shoulders, "this is a cycle isn't it?" I should have internalized that question because it was meant more for my subconscious.

She nodded knowing I'd meant it for her.

I judged Edward for being a smug, self-satisfying jerk but I'm was just as smug and self-satisfying.

Here I was judging others for being themselves and because I judged them I stood on my soapbox but because I stood on my soapbox I stood over them, judging.

The voice grinned triumphantly. The sudden urge to cry came over me but I didn't, I held it in. I wasn't done with my epiphany and if I allowed myself to cry I would lose it. The voice nodded, grinning wider.

"What's a cycle?" Dr. Carter asked making me realize I was internalizing now. I vocalized what I'd just come to terms with to which she nodded and asked me to go on. "Why is it such a personal sin to judge others Bella?"

"Because people judged me for my weight." I said automatically, "Renee believed that if I lost weight I would be 'happy' and popular but what guarantees that will happen if I lose the weight? Nothing." Something else came into view, "I think I've known this deep down hence never turning to anorexia or bulimia."

"I've always wondered that," Dr. Carter told me suddenly, "I never wanted to breach the subject in case I gave you ideas because you were so young and your mental state was and _is _so mercurial." She breathed out a sigh of relief, I laughed feeling appreciation for her somewhat motherly concern and break in her usual slightly detached persona.

"You used to tell me how much you wanted to be like Alice and Rosalie but you stopped two years ago. Can you tell me what's changed since then?" Something told me it was psychological speak for making me voice Edward's influence over me and I'd accept it.

Which I did.

"That's when Edward and I began dancing around each other."

"And what does that mean to you?"

"I began accepting myself because of his forthcoming words and the possibility of someone as attractive as Edward could possibly feel the same attraction towards me." The image of Kate dressed as a flower child made me think of a metaphor that seemed to fit perfectly. "Edward is the norm. Tall, handsome and masculine while I am the counterculture- average, ok-looking and overweight." Another subconscious realization made its way into the forefront of my mind, "but I _am_ the norm; there are more size-twelve American women than size four. So therefore, Edward in turn represents the counterculture."

"Why is this significant to you Bella?" She put her glasses back on and took up her pen and notebook leaving the recorder going. "Because I've always seen myself as the outsider but if you turn it on its head, _they-_" I thought of Edward, Alice and Rose, "are the outsiders in my microcosm."

"Which means..?" I didn't know if she didn't follow my logic or if she was trying to push me towards something but I answered anyway. "Which means that I shouldn't care about being bigger than them." I felt a shiver run down my spine, the words finally making perfect and permeating sense.

Yet another flashback to an almost forgotten dream where I stood in front of a mirror before breaking into two and one falling to the floor and shattering further. Almost as if I'd hit 'Rewind' the mirror jumped together and brought itself up to where it once stood.

The two halves came together but not like they'd done when they broke but rather as one would imagine a skin wound _heals._

I looked at myself in the mirror not believing what was happening internally. The voice stared back at me but she wasn't a splinter of me anymore, she had somehow incorporated herself into me. _I told you I wouldn't go back until you realized how blind you've been._

"Bella?" Dr. Carter asked me, her voice came out foggy and distant.

I understand now.

_You better otherwise I'll break off again and then _you'll _be the voice not the main facet._

So I'm not crazy?

_No. Everyone has a little voice in their head, yours was just on crack._ She laughs at herself- no. I laugh at myself.

"Bella, are you alright?" Dr. Carter stands up shutting off the recording and coming over to me, I look at her as if waking up from a dream, grinning from ear to ear. "Yes ma'am."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Honey," she crouches down making wonder if it hurts her feet to do so in Christian Louboutins, "you seem like you've just had a major breakthrough, do you want to continue or call it a day?" She asked worriedly completely dropping her professional persona.

I had the unfathomable need to hug her so I did taking her by surprise. "I understand now." I tell her feeling the tears I've held back for so long finally break free.

After a moment of undecided panic, Dr. Carter hugged me back soothingly, "what do you understand sweetie?"

"T-that I'm Isabella M-marie Swan, size twelve and okay with it." I laughed an ugly laughed through my even uglier crying. Dr. Carter laughed too, pleased with my epiphany, "you seem better than okay with it Bella."

I laughed even harder feeling like my spirit had been set free. The image of Renee appeared in my mind's eye and I waved goodbye to her. I finally felt free of her words and opinion of me forcing me to see myself as something else. As someone else.

"So," Dr. Carter sat back down after ten minutes of crying on my part and misting on hers. She cleared her throat and moved on to the next topic, "I want to cover something else before you leave. You told me Edward told you he loved you and you responded back without much thought."

"Yes." I felt nerves take over the relief, she'd hit the one nail I didn't know if I was ready to hit. "But he fell asleep and you didn't repeat yourself when he woke and before leaving for Hanover."

"Right." I bit my lip feeling my palms begin to sweat, _had I really meant what I said then? Yes, yes I did._ But for some reason it was difficult to accept it.

Dr. Carter looked me over and slight changes in her features made me think she was thinking whether to go with this line of questioning or change it. I guess she decided to change it because she responded with- "tell me why you chose to go to college outside of Washington." She quickly corrected herself, "I'd like to remind you that you've already accepted your desire to step away from Charlie's shadow."

I giggled to myself, she'd caught my one loophole, "CIA _is_ considered the _crème de la crème_ of American higher education in the culinary industry but…" _might as well be honest with everything._

"Yes?"

"It also means I'll be closer to Edward than if I stay here in Washington or Los Angeles." Dr. Carter grinned, nodding once and jotting her code-filled notes. "Right." She said, scribbling away, "you began looking at colleges _after_ you started seeing him right?"

"Right."

"Bella," she sounded tentative, as if she was about to enter a minefield and she was testing for her first step in, "you and Edward have explored sexually yet you've not made the definitive step of sexual intercourse. Why is that?"

I blushed a deep scarlet but keeping with my personal promise to be honest I answered, "I wasn't ready to take it. I needed to make sure I felt something beyond infatuation and lust towards him before going through with it."

"You speak in past tense," she pointed out, "does that mean you've come to accept your confession?" I blinked twice, _I'd done what?_

Dr. Carter must have recognized my questioning stare, "slip of the tongue." She smiled cocking her head to the side, "you subconsciously answered my nonverbal question by answering this one."

"W-what do you mean?" _Fuuuuck!_

"I was going to ask you why it was hard for you to accept your own feelings towards Edward but I felt your defenses up thus not going through with it," she explained, "but you've answered me just now."

"And…?"

"Taking a risk in going through with it, I'll ask you now. Why is it hard for you to vocalize your feelings towards Edward?"

"It's not hard," I corrected quickly thinking it through, "it's just a surprise is all."

"Why?"

"I guess part of me is still stuck in elementary school." I admitted.

"You're not over his teasing?" She asked, her eyebrows shooting up and dropping her guard. "I am," I rushed out, "it's just that I find it funny that he and I would end up this way." I laughed loudly, the irony not escaping my notice.

"But he's had feelings for you since before he knew it; it's ironic from your point of view but makes perfect sense in his." She didn't mince words jotting away again.

"So what now?" I ask not knowing how to respond to that.

"You tell me." She looked up taking her glasses off to watch me closely. "I feel like I reached a finish line." I tell her bluntly.

"I believe you have." She nodded sounding definitive, "but we still need to take the victory lap and media tour before you're allowed out of the arena." She told me clearly telling me I was about to stop needing to see her.

This hit me like a ton of bricks. Yet another factor of my life was about to change.

"Bella?"

"I'm going to miss you." I told her feeling tears well in my eyes, this time they were filled with sadness. Dr. Carter stood up and came to sit with me on her plush couch, "we're not done completely. We still have a few more sessions, honey."

"I know but I'm going miss you." I let out a wounded gasp and leaned into her for the first time I realized how much I'd become used to her weekly presence. "Oh Bella." She told me patting my hair softly.

After calming down yet again our session had come to a close. I went back to Forks feeling both happy and depressed. It had been such an emotion-filled day I didn't go out and instead slept all day because of it.

_Voice, I miss you too._ I said sighing turning to my side. I looked at the clock and noticed it was past three. I closed my eyes when I heard Charlie moving around the hall, I assumed he needed to use the bathroom but instead he opened my bedroom door quietly.

"Bella?" He whispered.

I tried my best to act sleepy, stirring and yawning. "Charlie?" I asked with fake sleep in my voice.

"I'm going to the station right now, the just beeped me an S.O.S." I got up a little too fast, "is everything ok?"

"Yes, I don't hear the sirens and they didn't call the house but I still want to check up on them, I'll be staying until my shift is over though." He told me sadly, I felt a pang of disappointment but in truth I expected this of him. "Sure Charlie."

"Why don't you come over for lunch huh?" He asked taking a step into my bedroom, "I want to spend at least part of the day with you."

"Ok Charlie, I'll make something and have lunch with you." I could see him beam at me through the dark light. He told me to go back to sleep and walked out. I heard him move around quietly as he got ready to go to the station. Fifteen minutes later his cruiser pulled out of our driveway and drove southward.

I moved around not finding sleep and giving up. I got up and went to the living room to see if there was anything other than infomercials at four in the morning on a Sunday. After watching five minutes of a random political commentary show I turned off the television and lolled my head to the side.

The phone stared at me from the corridor table where it stood right outside the living room. _I think I'll going to call Edward. _I got up and dialed his house checking the clock one more time. It was seven twenty in Hanover.

I dialed and waited for the phone to ring. After two rings a groggy Edward answered. The sensation of missing a beat still surprised me every time I heard him on the other line. "Hello?" Feeling coquettish and daring I said, "I need a good fuck to sleep Edward." I giggled feeling like a tease.

"Bella?" He asked taken aback.

"The one and only, stud."

"Is this you? Really?"

"Yes." I giggled again beginning to twist my finger through the cord, I bit my bottom lip hoping this lead to something more than just a rude wakening.

"Did you finally drink and just drunk-called me?"

"No. why can't you believe it's me?"

"Because I can't get over your brazen attitude over the phone," he said somewhat annoyed, I laughed thickly hoping to sound sexy on the line.

"You still resent me don't you?"

"Fuck yes."

"I'm sowwy baby," I scowled sounding cartoonish.

"You better be; why are you up so late?"

"You mean early."

"No I mean late." He sounded like a parent reprimanding their errant child, I rolled my eyes at his attitude, "it was a heavy day at Dr. Carter's."

"Oh?"

"Yes."

"You want to talk about it?" His voice changed to one of quiet worry. "Hmmm…" I thought about it deciding to be partially open with him, "I realized I'm okay with being a size twelve."

"What do you mean?"

"I've come to terms with it."

"Really?" He sounded both happy and surprised, "I'm glad it finally clicked baby. You're perfect."

"Oh shut up." I said feeling the butterflies at the pit of my stomach, "I miss you so fucking much." I said suddenly not wanting to go to the dark side. I wanted this to be a light and bubbly conversation. "Have you?" He sounded arrogant.

"Yes." I told him going to lean against the wall, "just like you've missed me."

"Wow, you must be pretty sick of me then." He chuckled but I couldn't help but notice his voice dropped in register. "Are you in your room or did you answer in the living room?"

"Bedroom."

"Jasper?"

"Went jogging an hour ago, he won't be back for another hour." He told me knowingly, "I noticed you called me through the main line, still grounded?" As punishment for beating Tanya up, Charlie cut my personal line forcing me to call Edward through the line, limiting us even more.

"How did you know?" I asked dumbly forgetting he'd just gotten new phones with Caller ID.

"You forgot." He laughed out loud, Alice had made this whole production about not being able to crank call anymore with the world moving further into the digital age. "I'm still stuck in the Dark Ages baby."

"Want to get stuck in the dark with you no matter what age." He whispered gruffly. I groaned feeling like it was years away instead of a few weeks.

The "I-love-you-Edward" was stuck in my throat but I didn't want to tell him over the phone, I wanted to be sappy and tell him face to face. I couldn't wait for December.

~.~.~.

Ishut the door of my cherry red truck and walked into the town's supermarket, feeling groggy from not sleeping that night. I was doing my weekly grocery run and hummed to Evanescence's _Fallen_ CD I played in my Walkman.

I hummed _Bring Me to Life_, walking towards the fruit section. "Bella?" Kate Denali called me from the banana stand.

I took off the headphones and turned to her, "hey Kate." Ever since our conversation at Jamie Harkins' Halloween party she and I had become friendly; we waved when we saw each other on the street and chatted every now and then.

"Damn you look like shit."

"Thanks." I said darkly as she joined me at the fruit stand. She smiled and asked, "baking an apple pie?" She asked looking down at the apples.

"No, I just really like them." I told her chuckling. It was the week before Thanksgiving and the supermarket was decorated with cartoon turkeys, cornucopias and pilgrim hats.

"That's healthy considering the fact that your boyfriend's a med student I bet he gives you a hard time." She laughed, I smirked putting some in a thin plastic bag. "Listen I wanted to ask you if we could talk real quick?"

"About?" I became defensive because of what'd happened with her sister. After finding out Tanya had lied to me about sleeping with Edward and saying he'd deceived to me about being a virgin just to get in my panties, I'd kinda sorta kicked her ass. Tanya threatened to sue for aggravated battery but Edward reminded her of "Junior Year" and she dropped it.

I'd asked him what the secret was but he told me it was his insurance against Tanya so he couldn't spill not even to me.

Alice, Rose and I didn't fare well with our parents. Esme and Carlisle took Alice's car away and like Edward, they cut her off for two months forcing her to resort to ask them personally for money- something she wasn't used to. Following the Cullens' example, the Hales did the same on top of expecting Rose to find herself a job to have spending money instead of relying on her parents any longer for her personal spending.

She was a sales associate at the local pet store which made her both happy because she loved dogs and sad because she didn't have so much free time anymore.

"Dad got me an apartment in Hyde Park," Kate told me as she looked at the pears next to my apples, "it's a three-bedroom apartment with two bathrooms, a great living room, good-sized kitchen with a fireplace and air conditioning- it overlooks a city parks."

"Really?" I wondered what this has to do with me as I walked away towards the refrigerated section of the store going toward the dairy; I needed to get milk, yogurt and sour cream. Kate followed me, shrugging, "Dad wanted me to get roommates to get the college feel or whatever the fuck and since you'll be going to CIA too I wanted to ask you if you wanted to take one of the other rooms."

I stopped in my tracks turning to her abruptly, she skitted to a stop inadvertently hitting me with her grocery basket. The cereal and spaghetti she carried shook slightly. "You want _me_ to move in with _you_?"

"Yeah," she nodded, shrugging again, "I mean think about it: we know each other so that's a plus for getting used to moving out-of-state and we'll know who we're living with. You need a place to live and I have extra room- I won't overcharge you because your Dad knows the law and my dad wouldn't do that to him, he respects him too much. It's perfect."

I turned back thinking about the animosity I felt towards her sister, _but Kate is different. It's obvious she and Tanya don't get along like she does with Irina… _I was almost sold on the idea but I still want to think it over.

"Let me think about it." I told her biting my lip, she was right- the prospect looked great on paper but there was so much drama I didn't know if it would transfer to reality. "Ok," she nodded beginning to walk off, "let me know yeah? You're one of the few people in this town that doesn't annoy me." She told me candidly which took me as a surprise, "and Bella if you think Tanya has anything to do with this let me tell you- we don't get along. Like at all, because Dad fell in love with Mom while he was married to Alexandra."

"Alexandra?"

"Tanya's biological mom."

"Oh." I already knew this story but once again Kate surprised me with her candidness, "she kind of hates me." I stared at her not knowing what to say but she just gave me a quick wave and walked toward the butcher.

Damn. No wonder Kate never hung around Tanya.

~.~.~.

After dropping the groceries off at home I drove to the station to talk to Charlie about Kate's proposal. Dad jumped at the idea sounding relieved at the idea of me living with someone from Forks saying he was more than willing to come to an agreement with Michael Denali.

I asked him to give me a few days to think about it to which he reluctantly agreed to.

I went to Rose's house in the evening since she was trying to bake some doggie treats for a puppy she had her eye on at the pet store.

"His name is Jack but I don't like it." She told me as she tried and totally failing to shape the dough into doggie bones.

"Do you even know if your Dad'll let you get a dog?"

"No but I really want him, he's a Scottish terrier you know like in_ Lady and the Tramp_. He's so cute, he kisses me every time I carry him." I laughed, "kinda sorta like Jamie huh?" Rosalie had gone on a few dates Jamie after his party. She'd told him her expectations- nothing serious and no sex to which he readily agreed but he had tried to break both rules more than once. The latter more than the former.

Rose didn't want to "save" herself but she knew Jamie was definitely not First material. "He's more of a drunken-fourth-booty-call person after the first three can't make it or reject you." It sucked but it was an accurate assessment of Jamie.

She put the last of the weird-shaped lumps on the papered baking sheet and placed them in the pre-heated oven. "What does the recipe say as far as baking time?"

"Twenty to twenty five minutes or until golden brown." She told me closing the oven and taking off the oven mitts. "When are your parents getting home?" I ask her after I set the timer and she lead me into her living room. It had multiple floor-to-ceiling windows like the Cullens' but instead of contemporary Victorian, the Hales' opted for contemporary French. "Around ten. Dad's meeting Mom after work in Port Angeles for their weekly date."

I sat down in her plush muted purple sofa and leaned my head on my upright arm, she took the timer and set it down in the polished end table near us.

"So what's up with Jamie?"

"Nothing," she breathed out, "he tried getting me to give it up in his car again."

"Seriously?" I thought of Edward and thanked god my boyfriend wasn't such a horndog; even though he pushed my buttons he never went beyond what I wanted.

"Yeah and I almost have in." She told me putting her head on the crook of her arm getting comfortable. "Rose!" Trying to keep my personal promise to follow through with my epiphany I tried not judging her but her confession took me on a tailspin.

"Oh shut up Charlotte." She told me, Rose had gotten deep into the "Cosmopolitan lifestyle" preparing herself for what she believed was the New York lifestyle, whatever that meant. She read the books and watched every single episode of _Sex and the City, _complaining that she'd gotten into the show during its final season.

"And you're Carrie?"

"I'm a combination Miranda and Carrie." She mused, "I'm a hard ass slash optimist."

"I thought Charlotte was the optimist."

"Oh whatever! The point is I almost became a non-virgin last week and it made me realize something." She threw her hand over her forehead in mock self-importance.

"I thought you were supposed to become worldly and cultured _after_ the first time." I chuckled putting my hair up in a ponytail.

"Jeez you're two for two today." Rose told me moving her hand, "anyway, I realized that I don't want to be a virgin much longer."

"Whoa."

"I don't mean that I'm going to go and fuck the first guy I see and have at it like Tanya, but if it happens, it happens." She sat up straight looking at me seriously. "I know you told me you and Edward have done things but you haven't taken the step." I nodded, "but the thing is, I don't think that's my style."

I looked at her trying to see her point of view but failing miserably, "Alice wants this whole production. The perfect man, with petals and red and white candles lit around the room as he leads her to a white silken bed in a luxurious bedroom with soft violin music in the background." Ali described her ideal First Time during one of our many sleepovers, being the only one with a boyfriend and "real" sexual encounters, they looked to me for advice.

Some things were supposed to be kept between the two parties but I confided in Rose and even less in Alice when it came to my private moments with Edward. Something like the L word exchange with or without him listening to me.

"And you're taking it in steps but if I'm with someone and it feels right I'm just going to go for it." I gave her a look of incredulous surprise trying hard not to judge could tell, clicking her tongue, "if Edward walked in right now and he said, 'Bella I need to have you right now,'" she said voicing Edward with an overdramatic classic Hollywood voice, "and you felt it in your heart of hearts that you're ready, would you?"

I bit my lip thinking hard and trying to keep it honest, "no."

"Why?" She stared at me in shock scooting closer to me, "because I would need to take a moment and consider the consequences and my willingness to take them on." I looked at my hands, playing with my hands. "Why?" She asked again.

"I don't know, I mean I want to," I was suddenly spilling my guts, "he's just so fucking-" goosebumps erupted all over my arms and legs thinking of Edward naked and on top of me as he kisses, nibbles and licks my skin.

"Damn." Rose grinning at me, "you haven't said a word but that smoky look on your face says it all." I bit my lip again, holding my thighs together as I began to feel myself moisten. "You've never gone into much detail as far as his you know- package…"

"Rose!"

"Tell me! Is the boy hung?"

"Shut up, I'm not telling you." I got up crossing the living room trying to get away from her probing questions. "Come on tell me," she stood up crossing her arms, "I want to know if Emmett might be packin' too."

"Rose I don't want you to imagine Edward's dick and besides, I thought you gave up on Em." Rose laughed loudly bending backwards, "either he's hung like a fucking horse or he has a tweeny weeny needle." She stopped laughing suddenly when I mentioned Emmett's name, "true but that doesn't mean I can't fantasized about him." She winked. Her honesty took me by surprise.

"He does not have a teeny weeny needle, he is a good size if you ask me." I said, folding my arms and telling her off. "I'm talking about Edward of course," I added quickly.

I didn't know much about penis sizes but the one porn movie we'd watched together told me the actor was exceptionally big so comparing Edward to him, my boyfriend was a very good size thank you very much.

"So he's hung?" She fished, I gave her a dirty look but feeling proud and boastful and I gave in, "fuck yes." She ran to me and jumped up and down holding my hands, we both cheered as if Edward's penis was some sort of trophy or award. _Which it is motherfuckas!_

We calmed down a bit and ate a light supper before I breached the subject of Kate.

"Take it." Rose told me, biting a cranberry orange muffin I'd baked for her after throwing away burnt doggie biscuits. I stared at her disbelievingly; I assumed she would have demanded I tell Kate off for even hinting at us possibly living together.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, think about it. If she's on Tanya's side you'll have her by the balls and keep track of her movements. If she's not, you got a great living arrangement for the duration of your collage career."

"No way."

"Yes way. You said there were three bedrooms right?"

"Yeah."

"So there's going to be a third roommate?" She poured us some cold milk as thunder began to roll outside.

"I guess so." I shrugged thinking that maybe she would advertise the third bedroom once she moved to Hyde Park. "Take it, Bella. What's the point of looking for something else? She's right you know. Most landlords in college towns overcharge college students because they know they need a place that's close to campus and the students have not many choices to choose from."

"I guess." I said beginning to see the positive side of the arrangement but I still needed to talk to Kate about the nitty gritty if I was going to agree to live with my rival's little sister.

"Let's move on to something else." Rose told me enthusiastically, "Mom told me if I didn't get into any more problems around town, she and Dad would let me go on a trip as their graduation present."

"Seriously?" I gulped the milk down feeling her excitement, "where do you want to go?"

"I would have wanted to go to New York City but seeing as I'm moving there I want to go to Los Angeles." I raised my eyebrow thinking of the stereotypical Californian images. Palm trees, bright sun, people wearing expensive clothes as they walk over the Hollywood Walk of Fame and the possibility of running into celebrities.

"Huh."

"No?"

"No, that's not what I mean." I told her shaking my head, "I was just thinking of the possibility."

"Do you think Charlie will let you go if I went? I know it's easier for the Cullens to let Alice go but I don't know about your dad." She told me tentatively. I laughed somewhat bitterly, thinking back to my conversation with Dr. Carter the day before.

"I'll talk to him about it." I smiled, "after all I have seven months to convince him."

"So we're going to Los Angeles then?"

"As far as I could tell, yes." She squealed again hugging me excitedly since she'd always dreamed of going to Los Angeles since finding out The Two Coreys lived in Hollywood when she was five. _Let's just hope Charlie gives me permission to go..._

* * *

**A lot of you asked what Edward has on Tanya and I've begun dropping hints here and there, I leave it to you to try and piece it together before/if Edward reveals it ;)**

**And yes I listened to Radio Disney! Those who say they didn't are lying :P ~I.E.**


	25. Behind Blue Eyes

**Please forgive me for taking a wee bit longer than expected to pull this out of the bag. I hit a wall soon after I posted _Heartbreak Warfare_ and had a hard time shaking it. Thank you Cevvin, your tip really helped :)**

**This chapter is half & half. One part E/B, another part everyone else. Some of you will be surprised what will come out of this update but I just want to tell you off the bat: I've been dropping hits for both so please no flames! (wow that feels like an outdated term no?)**

**Another note: keep in mind EVERYTHING I write has a rhyme or reason to it, I don't write to fill space. Ok enough with the serious talk, here's the ending of a phase and the beginning of another. Sorry in advance for the ending A/N.**

* * *

The Who- _Behind Blue Eyes_

* * *

_2003._

I sneaked into Edward's bedroom even though I knew he was sleeping off his jetlag. He'd arrived from Hanover that afternoon and I'd come over for dinner to see him. Alice had been very disappointing when she found out Jasper had decided to go to Memphis to check out another property Principal Whitlock gave him; although something told me he was hiding behind something but I couldn't place it. _That or I'm just crazy._

I managed to convince Alice and Esme to let me see him and give me a moment alone with him. Esme agreed but told me she would be checking up on us every ten minutes.

I understood where she was coming from; Charlie must have spoken to them about rules and whatnot. _Esme must not want to come off as a-_

I was in the middle of my thought when Edward stirred in his bed, hugging a pillow to him. He was as always, shirtless and only wearing pajama pants. I couldn't help but smile as he laid in bed looking like a grown-up angel.

I took him in once again; his lines were defined and maturing; there weren't any boyish lines anymore and it made me both nostalgic and proud. For the first time since I'd known him, I noticed he had long lashes that were slightly darker than his hair. He had a five o'clock shadow, something I was getting used to on him. His sharp nose and sharper jaw made me want to trace him. I imagined myself drawing my sleeping cherub making me wish I'd learn to draw artistically.

I smiled when my eyes reached down his prominent Adam's apple and fell onto his flat chest and sexy tattoo, _handsome and adorable all in one package…_

"Mmmm…" He sighed snuggling into his second pillow, "Bella." I blinked thinking I'd been caught staring at his sleeping form but he just rubbed his nose on the pillow and sighed contently- a tiny smile in the corners of his plump lips.

My heartbeat picked up and I felt air in my throat which I let out quickly, feeling guilty for staring at him while he slept but part of me was boasting his possible dreaming of me. I played with the thin silver necklace with a small infinity symbol he'd sent me last February, quickly becoming my favorite piece of jewelry.

"I love you." He sighed again, smiling wider. I grinned feeling a warm buzz all over my body, "I love you too." I whispered hoping my dream self would tell him for me.

His eyes shot open, green sparkles all over as he stared up at me. My mouth dropped as I gaped down at him. I was about to pull away when he grabbed me like a snake attacking its pray in the long grass and pulled me down on the bed holding me between his thighs.

"Say it again." He whispered throatily.

"I-I thought you were asleep." I croaked as I held on to his chest trying to create some space between us. My veins protested from the heat and speed my heart was beating out blood making me wonder if I could possibly die from high blood pressure at the age of seventeen.

"Say it again." He told me roughly as he pressed me deeper in the bed. "I want to hear it again."

"Edward."

"I said 'I love you' and you said…"

"Edward." I protested, angry at him for trying to force it out of me but then again I had said it when I thought he was sleeping. _How cowardly of me._

"Bella." He moaned kissing the crook between my throat and jaw. My eyes rolled back, getting high off his husky, pine scent and the sensations he stirred in me. I groaned into his ear knowing it would drive him crazy. He wrapped himself around me bringing his arms to bind me and push me up to him. I could feel his firm erection against the inside of my thigh, my body moistened immediately. "I love you." I said hoping he would feel what I felt at that very moment.

His breath hitched and before I knew it his tongue was down my throat possessively. I mentally rolled my eyes at his greediness but I reveled in his attention equally. His body began to move above me, "I need you." He told me after he pulled away. He was out of breath and connected our foreheads, his eyes were closed and he seemed in pain. "I need you." He told me desperately, "so bad."

My epiphany was still fresh in my mind and the idea of him and I together in that way had seeped itself into my consciousness. Thinking of my growing acceptance of myself and subsequent revelation of both my love for myself and him I'd come to terms with letting our feelings lead us down _that_ path.

Rose had told me she would accept her first time when and if it came and even though I hadn't agreed with her at the time, I understood she was being realistic while Alice wanted what Hollywood thrived on, idealism- I would mix the two.

I would get the flowers and candy with the boy I'd recently fallen head over heels but I would accept it occurring, _whenever that may be._

I wouldn't fight it any longer.

I'd done that long enough and I wouldn't let myself go down that hole again. I would not go blind again.

"Yes." I sigh hugging him to me, "yes, baby yes." Edward pulled away slightly looking at my eyes for any kind of wavering. "Are you sure?"

I looked up at him both elated he was giving me an out and annoyed he was looking for doubt in me. I mean I'd just told him I loved him, what else was there to do but go the extra step?

"I love you Edward," he hugged me infinitesimally tighter and creating more moisture deep inside me. "you've always wanted to fuck me-"

"I want to make love to you four five times before I fuck you Bella." He told me shaking his head, "I so want to get to the fucking but I want to worship you more than anything else." _Oh._ I blinked feeling a jolt of electricity going through me. "I see." I was breathless but not because he was holding me tightly to the point of slight pain but because he always seemed to render me speechless.

_Why is it that he always manages to take my breath away?_

"I want to make sure you're ok before we go forward," he let out a shudder, "once we start I doubt we'll- _I'll _be able to stop." He groaned into my throat, licking it slowly.

_Oh…_

My mouth watered just thinking of a naked Edward… "Oh." I voiced wiggling underneath him; he chuckled darkly making me wonder what he was thinking. "W-well," my voice shook slightly trying to find my voice again but like I said, the boy always managed to take my words away. "Well stud," I grinned pulling his glorious face to look at mine, "I'm more than willing to let you lose control."

His eyes dilated and became dark all in one second, his lips parted and his breath became labored. _This is what I do to him. _I grinned arrogantly, proud of myself for causing him to turn into my bad boy cherub I so loved.

"You're on the pill right?" He breathed out, swallowing hard.

"Yes." I nodded.

"There's a two percent chance it might be faulty." He said in a serious voice making me think to Dr. Cullen, _his evolving doctor voice._

"I've been good with it-"

"I don't want to risk it baby," he told me letting me go only to hold my face in his hands, "I'm going to run to Dad's office- he keeps condoms in there for Emmett and I." A very faint blush crossed his cheeks making me grin.

_Dr. Cullen, always prepared to the chagrin of your children._

"I'll be right back."

"Ok." _This is happening, this is really happening. Oh fuck._

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Tell me the truth Bella."

"I want you, you want me. Go get your condoms." I told him pushing off me. He got up staring at my eyes waiting to see doubt and uncertainty cross them but I stayed resolute. He let out a loud breath and left for his dad's office.

I threw myself on his bed grinning. _I want this. I want this. I want this._

_Right?_

I cleared my head to get a better answer, after a moment I naturally answered myself, _yes._

"Hey Bella, darling." Esme popped her head in, Edward had left the door open when he hurried out. I stood up feeling like I'd just been caught doing something illicit.

_Which I have to some degree…_

"Esme."

"Where's Edward?" She looked around and towards the open bathroom door.

"I need some help with my cake recipe, sweetie." She told me smiling but I could sense something was up. "Why don't you come downstairs and see what I'm doing wrong."

"Uh-" I looked behind her thinking of Edward but what was I supposed to say to his mom? _Oh sorry Esme, you see Edward and I are in the middle of getting it on and would like to be left alone for an undetermined amount of time. He and I need at least forty hours to ourselves, thank you._

_Oh sorry Esme, I'm about to let Edward fuck me up and down this enclosed space and possibly our bathroom- oh and my bedroom of course. You'll have to excuse us._

_Oh sorry Esme, I'm currently dripping wet and I wish your son would suck me up and eat me out to make it better._

_Oh sorry Esme I want your son's dick inside me and I want it now!_

"It'll only be a minute darling." She told me grabbing my hand and pulling me out, "I want to surprise Carlisle with this and well I've never made it so…"

"B-but-" For a petite woman like Esme, I finally understood where Emmett's force came from. She was strong and well-built. We met an anxious looking Edward with his hand in his pocket. When he saw me with his mother his face went from surprise to shock to worry.

"What's up Mom?" He croaked. _Poor choice of words baby._

"Nothing much honey," Esme told him not bothering to stop, "just borrowing Bella for a bit." She laughed as we rounded the corner before reaching the kitchen stairs. I sent Edward a look of consternation before being pulled down the stairs.

Esme ended up "borrowing" me through dinner and she let me go until right before I had to go back home, much to my boyfriend's dismay.

_Well… there's always next time…_

Right.

~.~.~.

_2004._

"Please rise." Principal Greene spoke into the microphone; you could see the sky behind him through the wide windows, pearly pinks with orange streaks behind sporadic clouds letting us know the darkness was coming. We'd been blessed with clear weather but we knew it was expected to change the next day.

My classmates and I stood up _en masse_, a sea of dark red and black- girls in red, boys in black. I could make out Alice and Rosalie in their own seats as they looked towards each other and I- pure excitement for what was about to happen.

"It brings me great pleasure and pride," Principal Greene announced to the assembled family and friends of my class, "to present to you the class of 2004! Graduates, you may shift your tassels now. Congratulations!" The audience behind us stood up and roared even before Principal Greene had a chance to present us.

I, Bella Swan was a high school graduate and I would be moving to New York in three weeks to start culinary school in September. That is after my best friends and I go to Los Angeles for a week as our graduation present from our parents.

There were cheers from all over the auditorium; everyone around me threw their caps into the air creating a cloud of red and black for less than a second. I caught mine while bumping into a few people, we all apologized to each other giddily.

I caught the eye of Kate Denali and she sent me two thumbs up, I waved back smiling widely. I'd decided to take her up on her offer and was willing to move in with her. She was scheduled to move next week to get everything ready, I'd asked her if she wanted me to cut my trip short but she just laughed and told me I was crazy.

Alice and Rose reached me we hugged each other and jumped up and down. "New York here we come!" Rose yelled, laughing out loud.

"Congratulations Flower!" Mr. Roger Hale arrived from behind his daughter, patting her on the back with one hand and a huge white lily and pink tulip bouquet with green ivy in the other. Rosalie turned around and bear hugged him. Catharine, her mother blew her nose into a crisp white handkerchief.

"Thanks Dad!"

"Alice, Bella!" Esme called out to us from behind Mrs. Hale, the Cullens all reached us, Emmett roared grabbing Alice and spinning her around. "Congrats Pixie!"

Alice squealed slapping him playfully, "thank you Mattie!"

I threw myself on Edward which he caught me kissing me passionately. Emmett whooped somewhere behind me. I pulled away red-faced and off-balance, Edward held me tightly laughing not bothered by the attention our PDA created.

Dr. Cullen was now giving Alice a huge peach rose bouquet, I internally laughed knowing Alice hated peach roses but was too cowardly to tell her parents so.

"Bella." Charlie called me, he gave me a small white rose bouquet as I one-armed him. He hugged me back whispering how proud he was of me. "You have no idea Bells." I noticed the corner of his eyes begin to water.

"I know Dad," I felt a frog stuck in my throat. I hugged him again feeling the new sense of loss I'd began feeling lately.

"Let's head home shall we? Eliza and I prepared a feast for you!" Esme told us corralling us around her. "You're more than welcome to, Cathy."

"Thanks all the same Esme but we have reservations at the Elk Lounge in Port Angeles but our invitation still stands to go shopping before the girls leave for Los Angeles."

"Definitely," Esme said nodding and turning serious, "we only have two days before they take off."

"Alright, alright ladies we'll continue to discuss this tomorrow." Dr. Cullen chuckled obviously thinking of the steak that was waiting for him at home.

After a lot of discussion and reluctant agreeing, Charlie allowed me to go L.A. only if Emmett managed to go- he knew how to get around because of having gone to school there and because he had shown himself to be a responsible adult.

He asked for special leave at the firm, promising to take extensive notes on the architectural significance of the city and how it could be applied to the firm's advantage, he was allowed the seven days' leave and had more than willingly agreed to chaperone us.

"Let's go then." Charlie said looking to me, I blushed trying not to feel guilty. "Do you mind if I go with Edward?" Charlie looked at me surprised, quickly glancing at Edward who smiled lightly trying to not break under Chief Swan's inquisitive stare.

"It takes just under twenty minutes to get from the high school to the north side of town," Charlie said speaking to me but still watching Edward. "I'll be counting down the minutes." I rolled my eyes turning to Edward who still kept eye contact with Charlie. He wasn't going to break.

"Ok Dad," I tell him since my overconfident boyfriend won't be the first to fold. Charlie unwillingly looked away just as the Cullens spoke amongst themselves trying to look uninterested in our conversation.

Charlie stalked off with Dr. Cullen who began speaking to him about our accommodations at a well-known hotel in a suburb of Los Angeles. Esme had wanted us to stay at a Beverly Hills hotel but Emmett complained that the best touring we would do is by staying "close to the ground."

"There are great hotels in the suburbs, Mom." He said after Alice trying punching him in the gut, "I don't see why we have to go to Beverly Hills to get the L.A. experience."

"Good point." Said Dr. Cullen to which Mr. Hale and Charlie agreed whole-heartedly. The day I graduated was a Thursday and as was the Cullens' preference to fly on the red eye, we'd be flying out of Sea-Tac the following Tuesday at one fifteen a.m.

"Let's go to my Volvo." Edward told me keeping his left arm around my waist as he held my hand with his right. I nodded before going to Rose and kissing her goodbye, "see you tomorrow."

"Take care," Rose winked putting something in my hand discreetly. She winked and walked off to hug Alice goodbye who was too engrossed in a "I hate you" tirade with Emmett. She still held him accountable for not getting the Beverly Hills treatment.

I looked down at the wrapped thing to gasp loudly and put it away almost immediately. _Fucking Rose_, I thought bitterly. I'd told her about my conversation and subsequent foiled plans with Edward last December and since then she'd been working on getting me laid.

Last Christmas had been hellish to say the least. It seemed like Esme and Alice were hell-bent on getting me away from Edward. Alice planned nothing but girl-friendly/guy-wincing activities. Makeovers, sleepovers, weeper marathons, embarrassing period conversations with Edward who tried to be as objective and mature as possible but couldn't really succeed when he'd realize he was talking to his little sister about menstrual discharge and adequate hygiene.

Esme pulled me aside and had The Talk 2.0; I had to sit through "the changes of the female physique and what responsibilities came with maturation." I mean seriously, my mother/boyfriend's mother was giving me this talk. I was mortified mostly because of the latter.

According to Edward, Dr. Cullen had pulled him aside and had the same exact conversation except on the responsibilities of a guy and knowing how to control "the urges." He'd even given him a brown plastic bag of various different types of condoms, from thin ones- "for extra sensation," to She lubricated condoms- "designed for women to give her heightened ecstasy. My favorite though was Confidence- "for the lucky stallion, a condom just for the bigger gentleman."

"Should I feel happy or humiliated that _A. _Dad took the time to buy me these and thought of everything and _B. _He thinks I'm some phallic marvel?"

"Well aren't you?" I'd asked between embarrassed yet surprisingly relieved giggles. "I don't know, am I?" He wiggled his eyebrows encircling me in his arms.

"You'll have to show me some examples to compare." He let out a primal growl from deep in this throat before pushing me against the wall and eventually making me writhe on top him.

"I love hearing you call me out but I need a different kind of fix."

"Pig."

"You know you love it."

"I do, I really do."

I sighed contently thinking back to that day, "what are you thinking about?" Present-day Edward asked me as he opened the door to his car. There were people walking around getting into their own cars, a mixed sea or black, red, balloons and flowers.

"Us." I said winking as I got into his car. His eyes flashed giving me a perfect, angelic smile. He closed the door with a snap going over to the driver's side in less than a second.

"What part of our long affair were you reliving?"

"The day you showed me your brown paper bag." He started the car, turning on the lights as dusk began transforming into night.

"That was a semi good day." He nodded, falling behind a blue beemer I knew to be Jane Winter's family car.

"Semi good day?"

"We didn't get to use any of the contents of that paper bag."

"Ah." I nod feigning naiveté. "I see."

"You know that's their plan right?"

"What?"

"To keep us apart in that way."

"Oh?" It had dawned on me after Alice- who usually begged me to get in a swimsuit whenever we went to the lake had asked me not to wear anything revealing in hopes I didn't get sunburned.

I was naturally pale, but how the fuck would I get sunburned in fucking Washington? Especially considering that the day we'd gone was another typical cloudy day.

Edward nodded not saying anything and getting out of the traffic near the school. He drove through the back streets coming to a stop five minutes away from his house in a little forested area. He played Pat Benatar quietly on the music system. "Baby," he told me taking out a little box, "I got you something to celebrate your graduation."

Edward knew my love for the Yellow Power Ranger and had given me _my_ early Trini lunchbox. I'd asked Renee for one and finally got it for my eleventh birthday; I'd considered it lost soon after I got though, believing I'd forgotten it during one of the school's weekend picnics.

_Don't kill me. Remember I love you and murder is punishable in all civilizations even the most primitive.~ E._

"EDWARD FUCKING CULLEN!" I'd exclaimed when I realized what this meant, I opened the box to find a close up of him with the peace sign. The back read: _from your stalkerish boyfriend, happy birthday beautiful~ EAMC __ß__- I haven't written my full initials in so long… please don't let it be the last time…_

For his twentieth birthday I gave him a piece of black coal only to replace it with a fancy black fountain pen and had '_Wasn't the last time'_ inscribed in the length of it.

"Did you swipe my one hundred and twenty-count Crayola set from middle school and have kept it for five years?"

He winked kissing me swiftly. "I used them that one time you came over with them and broke Sienna Brown."

"Fucking…" I whispered between my teeth, I'd thought I'd broken it and somehow made myself believe I had amnesia.

"I was and _am _crazy about you." He brought out a small, black box.

"What is this?"

"Open it." He told me excitedly, "I hope you like it." I laugh opening the little box to find a simple silver bracelet. "Oh Edward." I grinned, I kissed him as a thank you. Other people might have thought it to be a plain gift but I loved it. Simplicity at its finest.

"Baby," he looked at me surprised, "you think that's it? An ordinary silver bracelet? Really?"

"It's beautiful; it matches with my Valentine's gift." I frowned not understanding why he was knocking his own gift. He shook his head, "look under the lid." I cocked my head to the side turning back to the seemingly empty box only to realize there was a hidden compartment under a white inner lid.

I found little crystal beads in different colors and what seemed like six different charms- a small cube, a little fish, a hand mirror, a rotary phone, a little dress and a heart, all were forged from an identical gray metal.

"It's a charm bracelet." He whispered putting my loose hair behind my ear. "Guess the meaning of every charm."

"What's this?" I asked taking out the little cube.

"It's sugar." He whispered with sex dripping from his voice. "Oh." I nodded, slowly beginning to grin.

"_Pour Some Sugar On Me…_" I pointed at the _sugar _cube remembering our quiet acceptance of our game the day we listened to that song. "The halibut." He nodded, grinning and biting his lip, "our long conversations on the phone." I pointed to the tiny rotary phone, "a heart because… well…" I blushed kissing his neck. He moved his face and giving me a lingering kiss, "we love each other," he finished for me, I nodded biting my lip too.

"What else?" He whispered into my lips. I looked down still keeping contact with him through our connected foreheads, "I don't get the mirror or the dress."

"The dress because I met you the day you were born." My heart fluttered, "you don't remember that, you were two."

"Yes but I've seen photos of that day." I felt my hands begin to sweat and my heart begin to pound, _will he ever stop surprising me?_ "Can you guess what the mirror stands for?"

"No." I shook my head, my mind still reeling from his very _simple_ but incredibly romantic words.

"You finally loving your body the way I love it _and_ the night I became Professor Cullen." He added darkly. I laughed nervously, "Mmmm…" I nodded once, unable to stop my face-hurting grin.

"You like it?"

"I love it." I looked at him straight in the eyes and smiled widely, "just like I love you." He dropped his eyes before looking up slowly and bashfully making me think of middle school Edward. He sighed lightly. "I might just tattoo that in my body."

I gaped at him, "you'd be insane if you did!" He shrugged noncommittally, "am I insane?"

"Edward!"

~.~.~.

"Wow." Rosalie breathed looking at the now-full charm bracelet on my wrist, "what do they all mean?" We were in Port Angeles having lunch with Esme, Alice and Catherine. She and I had excused ourselves to go to the ladies' room.

"Our love of music, long-distance relationship and a few inside jokes."

"Tell me about them!"

"Nope." I shook my head, feeling somewhat protective of our secrets. I washed my hands, Rosalie scowled, "you'll see when you get a boyfriend." I tell her sagely as if having a boyfriend is akin to gaining the secret of life.

"Um…" She looked behind us. The bathroom consisted of two stalls, one small one and the handicap stall. She checked both before continuing on. "I need to talk to you."

"What's up Rose?" Turning to her, I watched her closely because this wasn't like her.

"Jamie had dinner with his family at the Elk Lodge last night too and Dad let me go home with him intead."

"Uh huh…"

She took a deep breath before continuing, looking at the floor. "I'm a stereotype Bella."

"What?"

"Jamie was being really sweet and well he had a bottle of Jack on him and well… I drank a little and well…" My mouth dropped, I understood where this was going to… "I gave it up! In his car! The night of graduation!"

"Rose…"

"Don't hate me please." She grabbed my hand, begging me. Her ice blue eyes were watering, I felt a sort of loss but at the same time I knew this was bound to happen. "I don't hate you, why would I hate you?"

"Because you're so good and well I don't know." She looked around, shaking her head trying to find a good reason. "Rose, I'm no angel." I laughed internally at myself. _Of course people around me believe the vengeful angel persona I've taken on._ I thought ruefully.

"Rose," I felt sudden dread and instant rage, "he didn't take advantage of you right?"

"No!" She shook her hands in front of me defensively, "I drank but I wasn't drunk. I knew exactly what I was doing, I swear!"

"You sure?" I squinted my eyes, watching her closely for any kind of signs. Jamie Harkin was a good guy but considering the fact that he'd gotten her drunk to soften her up made me very angry.

"Bella trust me, I don't regret last night; I just don't want you or Alice to hate me for not waiting any longer- promise me you won't report this to your dad. Jamie did nothing wrong."

"Come here." I hugged her trying to convey my solidarity with her, "was he any good though?" I said to try and lighten the mood.

"I don't know but I know it took three minutes for him to cum." Rosalie shook her head regretfully.

"That sounds bad." I shake my head, giggling.

"It is."

"How do you feel though?"

"Ok, a little sore but I'll get over it." I look at her face and see nothing different. Call it childhood naiveté but the way people described losing your virtue, you suddenly became lustful and hard but Rose looked just like she'd done the day before.

"Tell me the truth." I knew she was holding something back. She sighed again taking mental inventory before answering. She pulled away, tucking her straight blonde hair behind her ears before folding her arms around her.

"I shouldn't have let my impatience to get it over with take over, but it happened and I accept it." She stepped away still thinking. I suddenly felt like I was in Dr. Carter's office but instead of being me, I was her.

"Do you think it will hit you later?"

"No. No I don't. Jamie's a good guy,horny as fuck but I can't fault him; I knew what he wanted and I gave it to him."

"Where do you stand now?"

"After last night, I don't think I can be anywhere near him. Not because I feel bad over it but because it was just so bad." She turns her neck to look at me, giving me a tiny smile. I nodded hugging her again, "don't ever think that I'll close the door on you; you and Alice opened up to me and allowed me to be me." I suddenly felt like crying because not only did I feel like I'd allowed my stupid soapbox to come between me and my best friends but I felt like a traitor for only focusing on myself yet again.

"Thank you." Rose sniffed hugging me fiercely. "Let me tell Alice though." She let go, biting her lip nervously. I nodded not saying anything else.

We bought a few things. By a few I mean, I bought some shorts, light blouses and a lot of sunscreen while Alice and Rose bought a full wardrobe and about ten different kinds of swimsuits, something I wouldn't even consider.

I accepted myself, yes but I knew I wasn't going to display myself just like that. No thank you.

~.~.~.

"Be safe ok?" Charlie kissed me goodbye before going to our designated waiting area. He wasn't allowed beyond the check point so it was time to say our goodbyes. Alice and Emmett both hugged their family, Rose's parents were sitting with her in a bench a few feet away.

"I will." I appease him, this would be my first time flying and I didn't know what to make of it. Dr. Cullen had allowed me to take some sleeping pills just to make sure I didn't become overwhelmed. Rose had flown before, she had family in Connecticut and had gone to visit them during her early childhood but she didn't remember it much.

The Cullens, too had family cross-country and had visited Esme's family's ranch in Tennessee years ago but being Alice she took it as an adventure.

"Call me when you get to your hotel."

"I will."

"And don't forget your rape whistle, Los Angeles is three to four times bigger than Seattle and that much more dangerous."

"Dad, I'll carry my whistle with me but I trust Emmett." I discreetly remind him his one condition in allowing me to go. "That reminds me." He walked off towards the Cullens looking to speak to Emmett. "Emmett, you have the notarized letter right?"

"Yes sir." Emmett reached into his carry on satchel pulling out a black folder, "here it is." Since I would be minor for a few more months, Charlie and Emmett had to sign a notarized permission slip giving Emmett authorization to travel with me with the possibility of giving me full medical attention during the trip.

"Don't lose it ok?"

"Dad, you've asked him to show you that thing three times now," I blew out, rolling my eyes. Edward grinned on the side, shaking his head slightly, "I hate being a minor."

"Yes well," Charlie answered stiffly, I knew he hated it when I chastised him in front of the Cullens. He threw Edward a suspicious look, "your eighteenth birthday is not until _September_ and I will take care of you like a minor until then." Edward blanched looking away. _Huh?_ "There are _certain_ things you can't do until then and traveling without my consent is one of them." I stared at him not understanding why he was being so weird.

Edward cleared his throat, shifting on his feet and whispering something to Alice. It was obvious he was trying to avoid Charlie's glare, I looked to my father who was now talking to Emmett about having all of his contacts in case he needed him for anything.

"He just wants to take care of you Bella." Dr. Cullen told me to the side, I looked at him blushing slightly. I remembered the bag he'd given Edward making me flare up even more. "Take care sweetie." He squeezed my shoulder to which I nodded as a response.

"I think it's time no?" Catherine asked coming to us with Rose and her husband.

"Yes, they need to check in at the gate in half an hour." Dr. Cullen answering looking at his elegant watch. I didn't recognize the brand but I knew it was expensive just by the look of it.

After saying our goodbyes yet again, and kissing Edward goodbye much to my embarrassment, "don't miss me too much." He whispered darkly sending a chill down my spine. "I can't make any promises."

Edward grinned, winking quickly and letting me go because my father wanted to hug me goodbye one last time.

We eventually boarded and I became agitated when the captain announced lift-off. I dug my nails into Emmett's leg as the plane taxied down the runway, and absolutely hated the feeling of my stomach dropping and being pulled as it lifted off. I felt like throwing up but Emmett just held my hand through it all.

I turned to him but he wasn't looking at me, he was whispering something to a similar stricken Rosalie. She nodded fiercely to whatever he was saying; he nudged her lightly making her smile just as the plane reached its desired altitude. Alice sat to right and unlike Rose and I, her eyes were closed as she grinned widely. I shook my head, she was so weird.

The flight attendants began to make their rounds, offering from the drink cart. I asked for water and took my sleeping pills, I was a nervous mess and I wanted it over and done with.

I closed my eyes and what felt like a blink later I had been woken up by an excited Alice, "we're here Bells!"

"What?" I asked groggily, the dose had been a little strong.

"You slept through the whole thing! We got to see the city as we descended! Nothing but tinkleing lights for _miles_!"

"It's a city Pix," Emmett said getting up, I looked around and noticed people already taking down their things from the overhead compartment. "Of course there are going to be lights everywhere."

"Whatever." She huffed unbuckling her seatbelt and getting up. She looked at me expectantly, telling me to get up. I scrambled up but lost my balance, Emmett managed to grab my hand stopping me from crashing face first into my seat. "The pills really knocked you out huh?"

"Seems so." Rose said stretching as a man walked behind her, she turned to him angrily stomping on his foot before he could get away, he doubled over howling in pain. She turned to the woman that walked in front of him, "your boyfriend/husband has long hands- you're fucking lucky I turned eighteen last month son of a bitch." She looked at him, "otherwise I'd be calling the cops on your sorry ass."

"What?" The woman asked the man who was now trying to scurry off the plane as everyone around him stared at him. "Nothing, nothing."

"Fucking pervert!"

"Rose what happened?" Emmett asked her.

"That motherfucker palmed my ass and squeezed it for good measure."

"What?" Emmett boomed, he pulled her aside, "Rose get my bag, Bella don't step off the plane until I come back please."

"Emmett-" Emmett made his way around the sardine can of a plane reaching the man who was at the head of the line to disembark. "What the hell?" Alice whispered craning her neck to get a better look, Rose had a look of mild surprise as she stared at Emmett.

After a few condescending words from Emmett, who towered over the small Pee-Wee Herman-like man he made his way back apologizing for going against the current of human salmon. "Come on."

"What did you say to him Emmett?" Alice squeaked.

"Nothing Pix," Emmett answered taking his bag from Rose's hand telling us to get in line. I looked at Rose who kept her eyes on Emmett, she had a faint blush on her alabaster skin as she bit her lip delicately. I grinned, _Emmett's back, back, back, back again, -gan –gan. Emy's back, back, back tell a friend, -end, -end._

I cracked myself up.

~.~.~.

"Holy…" Rose gasped as we made our way into the big Roaring Twenties-style lobby of our hotel. There were a few guests milling around in the lounge area where a baby grand stood around a circle of luxurious-looking sofas; there was a small art deco chandelier over it and a small bar that was obviously closed- giving it a speakeasy feel. The hotel dripped of old school sophistication whether it was real or fabricated.

"Come on ladies, don't drool." Emmett winked as I bumped into an awestruck Alice. "Sorry."

"Is k." She answered not bothering to look at me.

"Good morning sir welcome to the Hilton Los Angeles, how may I help you this morning?" The tall, thin and well-maintained concierge asked Emmett who was the first to get to the polished maple desk. Two bellhops carried our luggage in shiny gold carts, "we have a reservation under Cullen."

The man typed something up and asked, "E.A Cullen or E.M. Cullen?"

_Huh?_

"Did Edward reserve our rooms?" Alice asked Emmett, he shook his head. "No, Dad did- I'm sorry," he leaned in somewhat confused, "E.A. Cullen?"

"Yes, but I'm assuming you're E.M. Cullen?"

"That's right." Emmett nodded, taking out his wallet, "may I see your ID sir?" Emmett showed him his driver's license before the man finished his sentence. "Great, may I see a credit card sir? Just to have on record or will you want it charged to the credit card with which you reserved the rooms?"

After we checked in we were taken to the "North Tower" of the hotel, the twenties' feel following us everywhere. "Was this place built then?" Alice asked one of the bellhops but Emmett beat him to the punch, "no. Conrad Hilton came to Los Angeles in the forties, the company probably wanted to go with the theme. The building itself is obviously pre-war not art deco." He said in a very un-Emmett way.

Alice, Rose and I stared at him with our mouths slightly open. Emmett liked to talk about architecture but was always shut down, "that's cool Emmett; yeah uh huh, yeah." But he sounded so cool talking about it now. I glanced at Rose who kinda sorta swooned.

_Emy's back, back back…_

We were led to a huge suite, complete with living area, a small bar and huge palatial bathroom. "Holy fucking room, Batman!" Rose said popping her head into the bathroom. The actual bed was inside a bedroom.

"Dad wanted you to have the Presidential Suite," Emmett laughed not putting his things down since his room was next doordd. "He had to pull a few strings but he managed it."

"Clinton stayed here during office," one of the bellhops, a cute blonde told us, "S.S. reserved the upper floor and lower floor during his stay."

"Hence the name?" I asked looking out of the huge windows that overlooked California suburbia, the bright sun was rising, giving the area a sunflower yellow hue, it was already hotter than the hottest day in Forks.

"That's right. It takes up half the floor, there are smaller suites around you." The second bellhop, a freckly redhead told us pointing to the walls adjacent to where I stood. We all nodded knowing it was his way of reminding us we weren't the only ones on the floor.

"Ok, ladies I'm going to run upstairs and freshen up. Do you have jetlag?" As soon as Emmett said this, I felt the weight of the pills come back. Alice and Rose said no but I nodded yes.

"I'm sleepy." I told them yawning.

"Oh come on Bella!"

"No let her, she's not used to it."

"Nor am I!"

"But you don't have spunk reserves, Ro." Emmett laughed coming to me, "get into your king-sized bed and sleep while we go downstairs and get a tour. I'll give it to you when you wake, huh?" I nodded thankful sweet Emmett was on my side. "I'll have them send breakfast in two hours."

"'K." I said going into the muted bedroom and falling on stomach into the soft, pillowy sheets.

In less than a second I a heard muffled voice somewhere to my right. "Bella's sleeping." The voice was soft and musical but it was somewhat foreign. I sighed digging into my pillow, _stupid dream._

"Ok don't worry I won't wake her… yeah… yeah I know. Y'all have fun." I smiled, _I love the southern accent._ "Bells," I began to shake uncontrollably.

I opened my eyes, "HOLY SHIT! EARTHQUAKE!" I jumped up remembering that California was earthquake country. "IT'S THE BIG ONE, IT'S THE BIG ONE Y'ALL!" I said in a horrible unintentional southern accent that carried from my dream. I jumped on the bed, scrambling to get up and run to where my friends were.

"Bella relax, Bella!" Someone grabbed me and pulled me down, I blinked a few times to find Jasper's baby blue eyes on me. "Jasper?!"

"You ok?"

"W-what are you doing here?" I looked around and noticed through the open bedroom door that the sun was high in the sky by how harsh the light fell into the room outside.

"I need to talk to you in private." He told me, leaning in and whispering.

"Huh?"

"Edward made me promise to let you sleep so as to not disturb you and not ruin his surprise but I need to talk to you." His eyes moved around on the bed not looking up at me. "Edward's here?" My heart skipped a beat, a_www! My boyfriend is such a stalkerish sweetheart! He's lucky I'm just as possessive as he is though._

"I've been desperate to talk to someone about this and what better person than you?" Jasper brought me back from my mental conga dance.

"What are you talking about?" I began to worry, what would Jasper need that only I could give him?

"Promise- no," he shook his head emphatically, "_swear_ to me that you will not tell anyone- especially Edward about this."

"Jas-"

"I-I swear." He insisted holding my hand tightly and staring hard into my eyes. I was seriously worried now. He searched my face looking for something, I don't know what- before he let out an aggressive breath standing up from his little perch and pulling on his hair as he spun around, "I like Alice!"

My mouth dropped, my face coming forward. If it hadn't been properly connected and inside my body it would have come totally unhinged. My heartbeat skipped a beat for Alice and I cheered a sisterly cheer in my head. _YES! YEEEEEE-SSSSS!_

"A-and…"

"And I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place with Edward." He told me desperately. I stood up, "oh." I nodded once, swallowing hard. "Oh."

"Things shifted last year." Jasper told me but going back to avoiding eye contact, "I was depressed because of Karla and my situation at home… and Alice was there to listen to my ramblings and rantings, always having a reassuring word to say." I nod trying hard not to smile for my friend. "Before then, I saw her as 'Edward's sister' but then…" he slowed down, softening, "I saw the way she fiercely defended your friendship albeit somewhat flawed and I thought 'wow, she really loves Bella; jeez I wish someone would love me the way she loves her.'"

I blushed, smiling sheepishly; he went on, "being an only child and having come into a poisonous family made me a very lonely kid." He told me, looking up slowly, "my mother cared more about her materialistic pleasures and my father was obsessed in using me as his personal pawn. My extended family saw me as both a little prince and an untouchable phantom. I moved around a lot," he chuckled darkly, "I went to every private school on the eastern seaboard as well as Los Angeles, never really sticking to one place or the other because of David's fancies or because I didn't want to be there."

I felt a pang of empathy, "I didn't have any real friends because they all saw me as either the new kid, the kid with the Yosemite Sam accent- even though mine isn't as pronounced, or as the oil tycoon's grandson." I bit my lip, my eyes watering slightly, "David told me to go to Dartmouth and study Business and Finance so I'd be ready to take over when the time came but I asked him if I could chose the way I would live there.

"I wanted a sense of independence no matter how fleeting, hence answering Edward's ad for a roommate." I nodded, but didn't interject. Jasper was opening up to me and I couldn't interrupt him, "I liked Edward immediately. I don't know if it's because he likes The Doors or James Dean or because he didn't give a fuck when I told him the truth about who I was- one of the only few people to react this way and be genuine." He chuckled, "the thing is Bella," he stepped forward looking sad, "Edward has grown to be _my_ brother and the only person I can truly trust; he's my Alice or Rose…"_ That's why he's asking for my help,_ he identified with me.

"So…"

"So I'm asking you as a friend to help me gather courage to come clean to Edward and get Alice to fall for me."

_Why is it that everyone sees me as a little cupid?_ I asked not angry or insulted but genuinely curious. Alice and Rose had asked me the same thing at different times and now Jasper. I just had Emmett left to check off.

Jasper saw me waiver and quickly added, "please." I looked at him thinking it over. Alice was already head over heels for him so that was not even a question but Edward…

How would Edward feel about his best friend dating his little sister and how would he feel about his little sister dating his best friend?

_Hmmm…_

* * *

**Gasp! Hahahaha! No seriously, who guessed Rose and Jasper's plot lines? I know a few of you did :D **

**Did anyone catch what Charlie was trying to convey after the graduation ceremony and at the airport? ;) It's immature of him but very plausible.**

** Oh! I know I was pretty vague as far as "Junior Year" hints but they'll get bigger once Bella and Kate begin living together. Los Angeles will probably consist of one full chapter if not less, I'm using it as a transition. **

**(BTW The Hilton Los Angeles doesn't exist- there is a Hilton in a neighboring city to LA but it's called something else. As you know, I don't own that either although Paris has a cut in the fortune. -rolls eyes-)**

**Besos! ~I.E.**

**P.S. Thank you to those who read and/or reviewed _George Clooney's Brother_- if i decide to write another chapter, I'll send it via PM to those who've reviewed/alerted it. That is all.**


	26. Beso en la Boca

**Hola hola ¿cómo les va? ;)**

**There are no excuses for my absence; I hit a literary wall/Real Life came knocking. You know the drill. **

**I'm in a weird place mentally, no I'm not crazy I just feel the tectonic plates of my life rumbling and shifting and before you say "Ilithya you live in fucking California, how do you know that's not another earthquake?" I'll tell you it's not that lol!**

**I would like to dedicate this chapter to Dr. Jerry Buss, I LOVE YOU! GO LAKERS BITCHES! LOL!**

**I would- once again, apologize for errors.**

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Axé Bahía- _Beso en la Boca_

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_2004._

**BPOV**

"Come on!" He growled between his teeth, concentration all over his tightly knitted brow. He was shirtless, sweaty and oh so sexy."Hit it harder!"

I bit my lip trying to fight off the squirming my lower body was starting to create. "Move, move, move, move!" He chanted quickly losing his temper. His muscles moved and strained under his slightly sweaty skin- stretching, pulling and rippling as he ran after the ball… _Mmmm…_ I licked my lips subconsciously imagining him in the same state but on top of me…

"Hey _Jerk_ward Antho_dick_ M_ass_en _Cunt_en!" Rosalie yelled from the other side of the high net, she was just as sweaty and angry as he was.

Out of the ten brand new swimsuits she bought for the trip, she'd decided to wear her push-up halter bikini in a bright, somewhat-sixties paisley print and a round ring at the center and hipbones. Of course she looked like a drop-dead-and-I-don't-even-try gorgeous supermodel playing beach volleyball with her equally beautiful, elfish, brunette friend who wore a white bandeau top with a pink and turquoise fashion broach at the center and a rose-colored bikini top with little ruffles on the sides.

Emmett, like Edward, was shirtless and wore black board shorts with white stripes on the sides while Jasper chose neon blue shorts and acted as referee to their volleyball game. I on the other hand, sat on a beach towel underneath a multi-colored umbrella in a white shirt under a blue flannel blouse and white shorts. _Boring I know, but whatever._

It was the second day of our trip to Los Angeles, eighty plus degrees and a beautiful forget-me-not blue without a single cloud in the sky. Emmett had decided to take us to Santa Monica Beach and dared Alice to a game of volleyball after she said she was the best volleyball player in Forks even though she'd only played during Gym.

"Either cool it with the attitude or I'll drown you and have them find your lifeless body in fucking Cabo!" Rosalie warned Edward, he scoffed in response.

"I wouldn't be telling you what to do," he went to the net kicking the sand angrily as he walked. I wondered how they could stand walking on the white-hot sand barefoot because I certainly couldn't. Three steps into the sand from the parking lot asphalt and I was howling in pain, "-if you knew how to hit the fucking ball!"

"Oh," Rose told him bending under the net and getting in his face, "I _know_ exactly how to hit a ball! Especially two that are attached to your fucking body!"

"I bet you'll have a hard time even if I gave you a clear shot!" I'd known Edward to be competitive and a sore loser but I'd never seen him that riled up, "alright, alright." Emmett jumped in with his hands out, he threw Jasper a look to which he just grinned and shrugged. "Apparently our referee likes a little fighting."

"We weren't fighting." Rosalie said under her teeth keeping an eye on Edward, "not yet anyway."

"Yeah, yeah," Emmett shook his hand dismissively, "Edward stop being an ass and Rosalie…" he turned to her thickly, she raised her perfectly arched eyebrow at him, "clever name calling. I'm stealing that."

Rose broke into a wide grin, "go head. Steal it, be my guest." She answered with a hit of flirtation in her voice. "There's nothing to steal!"Alice yelled from behind, "is there Rose?"

_Cockblocking Alice at seven o'clock._

By the way I was sitting I couldn't see the look she sent her in response but I knew Rose was pissed at Alice's backhanded comment. Ali had been both indignant and incredulous to Rose's virginity confession. She was having a hard time accepting that we were growing up and doing "adult things." That and she still held a small grudge on Rose for having a crush on her older brother.

I found this somewhat rich since she was over Edward and I, but then again Alice was the most immature of the three and I would give her time to grow out of it.

"Edward, I'm your partner not Rose. Why are you giving her pointers man?" Emmett asked Edward who was still riled up, "how are we supposed to play a good game if Rose keeps missing the ball?" He exclaimed loudly.

Just then two very thin, tall and tanned brunettes in string bikinis walked by, ogling him and the guys. I stood up straighter. "Hey handsome," one of them hissed reminding me of a cobra, "I can show you how good I am with the balls." I stood up not knowing what to do. I felt the instinct to run to Edward and tell the bitch to back off but the insecurity of her physical prowess pulled me back.

Jasper caught my eye and before I knew what he was doing he stood next to Edward and grinned at the girls invitingly, "sorry girls." He draped his arm on Edward's shoulder, "this boy's mine but you can have Emmett if you want." Everyone's mouths, including mine, fell to the ground. Edward gaped at Jasper who looked at him and winked at him salaciously.

I walked up behind the tooth floss twins, they stared at me up and down before turning back to Edward and Jasper. "Really?" The second one asked disappointed.

"Really." Jasper nodded once definitively.

The first one looked at Emmett who grinned weakly at her, "are you Emmett?"

"No," Rose said loudly pushing a very confused Emmett behind her, "his new name is Emma, he's pre-op." _What the fuck?_ "She has a hard time talking about it so run along now." She shushed them away, the tooth floss twins looked at each other disappointed and ran off saying something about nutjobs and blowjobs.

"You're gay?!" Alice yelled at Jasper, he said nothing looking at me from the corner of his eye.

"What do you mean I'm _Emma_?!"Emmett tapped Rosalie on the shoulder expectantly.

"I'm with you?!" Edward screamed at Jasper, he turned to Edward slowly,"no but you're with _her_." He pointed at me and Edward looked at me as if seeing me for the first time. I felt a surge of anger flow through me, what the fuck was this look of surprise? I turned around and ran away feeling rejected.

I didn't know the beach but I just ran and ran through the many people that laid on their beach towels and watched the world around them. I could see the famed Santa Monica Pier with its ferris wheel in front of me but instead of appreciating the sight I just ran. I went under the pier and tried running through it. It was cold under there and I shivered immediately.

"Bella!" Edward yelled behind me, I stopped and stared at the barnacles that attached themselves to the pier's wooden beams. The water creeped onto the wet sand, foam dancing on top as random strands of seaweed floated on top and around the water. The air was salty and pungent but something about it made me smile. It was one of the earth's natural fragrances.

"I love this ocean." I whispered taking in the sights. The wooden beams framed the Pacific Ocean and the stunning California summer day. Seagulls flew above the ocean looking for lunch, "you don't really go to the beach in Washington."

"It's not the same."

"Yes it is." Edward spoke softly and gently, "it's the same ocean."

"No it's not. It's a lot colder at home."

"That doesn't mean you can't enjoy the sights."

"People will judge me."

"We're in _California_. The stereotypes of the tall, thin, buxom woman practically originated from here."

"It's odd."

"What is?" I felt him stand closer to me, and felt myself burst out in goosebumps. I didn't know if was because he still had some kind of wonder or because I was supposed to be angry at him or even because the wind under the pier was stronger than out of it. All I knew was that he and I were once again in our bubble.

"I feel more open here than in Forks."

"California has a way of making you fall in love with her."

"No, that's not what I mean." I turned to him, "I'm mad at you by the way." I didn't want him to believe that I was over his little disappointed look. He looked down shamefaced, "I didn't want to score with those girls baby."

"Then what was that look you sent me when Jasper pointed me out?"

"I didn't want you to think that he was serious." He blushed furiously," the incredulous thought of you hearing him and possibly believe there was stock in what he said."

"We all knew he was lying." I quietly thanked Jasper and made me feel closer to him. I'd accepted in keeping it quiet until Jasper summoned the courage to come clean and it made my loyalty to him grow. He'd seen how I'd backed out and took it upon himself to help me out.

"I'm sorry."

"You better be." I huffed taking off my beach sandals and feeling the cool, wet sand under my feet, "you're going to have to make it up to me."

"How?" He looked up, upset.

"That's up to you." I looked over my shoulder feeling my long hair drape my back, "maybe how you're _not_ gay." I looked down slowly letting my eyes linger where I knew the promised land lay. Edward visibly tensed up and shifted on his feet looking away, uncomfortable.

I frowned not being used to this kind of reaction from him; _he really is rejecting me._"Edward..?"

"Let's go find the others, knowing Alice she's going to think the worst." He grabbed my hand and pulled me the way we came. _The 'worst'…?_

The lick of rejection charred me more than the dry, hot sand under my feet.

~.~.~.

I kept my rejected feelings to myself, keeping a slight distance with Edward who had tried to hold my hand, drape his arm over my shoulders and slightly falling behind the others when Emmett took us to dinner in Glendale.

"They have some of the best middle eastern food ever,"Emmett gushed looking like Christmas came early and they did; at least the restaurant he took us to. I wasn't able to appreciate dinner as much as I would have in other circumstances but his words and body language kept running through my mind.

Edward tried talking to me but I brushed him off not wanting him to backtrack or add to it. Alice pulled me aside once we got back to our hotel room, "you ok Bells?"

"Yeah." I told her trying to keep myself in check.

"I want to go to Griffith Park." Edward informed us over breakfast the following day. He cut into his chocolate chip waffles that he only ate after a night of drinking. Emmett smuggled in bottles of alcohol into our suite and Jazz and Edward contributed to the ungodly amounts of junk food even though we'd had very filling dinner an hour before. It wasn't a party or a quiet night in, they called it a "kickback."

"You're going to have a lot of these, kid." Emmett told me, "I bet you Kate likes a little rum in her soda."

"What makes you say that?"

"Kate is reserved but not those she trusts," Edward said quietly, "she's a party animal when she's with trusted company." My antenna rose, "Oh?"

"Uh oh." Emmett nudged me, looking amused, "Edward just stepped in it." Edward looked up and panicked when he met my eyes, "it wasn't like that Bella."

"Party animal huh?"

"I just meant she drops her walls and lets you in!"

"I bet she did!" I suddenly felt the urge to call her and tell her the deal was off- jealousy and rage overtook the rejection and I wanted to throw a brick through the wall.

"Damn dude," Emmett said taking a long pull from his beer, "two times in a day…" he shook his head slowly as if in mourning. "Shut up!" Edward told him, he turned to me, "Bella come on baby. You know my history- we've done this before."

I remembered our almost-breakup and I felt myself deflate. I didn't want to go through that again, I bit my lip. "Believe the guy Bells." Rose said taking out some brandy glasses from our empty bar, the hotel had made sure to take away all liquor since they found out we were underage."Emmett," she shoved a glass in front of Emmett, "pour me some."

He gaped at her, I knew she meant to pour her a glass but the way she said it made it almost sexual. "You like beer?"

She shrugged, "educate me."

"Alright." Emmett nodded once taking another beer,"glass or bottle?"

"Glass for now and if I like it, bottle." Emmett poured her a glass, "pour me a glass as well." Alice piped next to Jasper. He put his hand on her shoulder lightly, her eyes went wide and her neck snapped to where his hand lay.

I couldn't continue watching our friends because Edward had decided to drink straight from a tequila bottle, "fuck." He winced after the first drink.

"You're going to drink like that?" I demanded.

"If you're mad at me, yeah." He told me angrily, "I love it when you're pissed but I need a moment to relax. Do you want to join me?" He asked sarcastically, he knew I would decline the alcohol. Even though I'd come to terms with the righteous bitch persona I'd subconsciously created, I still didn't feel comfortable shedding all of my inhibitions. I wasn't as puritanical as I'd once been but I was still a police officer's daughter.

This trip was turning out to be everything I didn't want. I was supposed to be having the best time of my life, celebrating the end of my childhood in a sense and moving on to the real world. I thought having my friends around me would make this even better but I was suddenly wishing I was skipping it.

When I'd gone down after my talk with Jasper- he'd snuck into his suite, I'd been ecstatic to see Edward waiting to surprise me in the lobby. But I wasn't a great actress and he'd seen right through me, of course I told him Jasper hadn't ruined his surprise and he quietly believed I didn't want to see him, he didn't ask me straight out but I could tell it had crossed his mind.

I didn't fault Jasper but it had started us off on the wrong foot.

"There are _worst _things I could do." I got up and ran to the bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I waited for him to come knocking but after a minute he didn't instead I heard him turn on music and asked Jasper for the vodka.

Feeling upset and confused, I changed and went to bed. I would be lying if I said I didn't shed tears that night. Rose came in a few minutes later and asked me if I was ok, I lied and told her I wanted to sleep. Alice came in after and asked the same thing, "Bella he's a jerk but I hate seeing you like this. Talk to him tomorrow morning when you've both slept on it."

"I don't know what to do, I want to talk to him about something he said but then again I don't want to face him!"

"You should come clean, Bells. Everyone goes through this I'm sure. You're not going to throw it all away just because of a little misunderstanding." Alice whispered hugging me over the covers, I closed my eyes and felt the old Alice back. The warm and approachable Alice before she found out about my relationship with her brother.

"I thought you wanted this."

I felt her shrug, "I don't know what happened but it seems like a blip in the road, if you break up over something so trivial than I guess you two hid everything for nothing." I let out a mangled chuckle, "talk to him, I'm sure he wants to talk to you too."

"Not tonight." I fussed.

"Tomorrow, then." I started to cry because I felt nostalgic, "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too Bella."

"I hate your brother." I said dejectedly.

"I love him too." That made me cry even more, I didn't remember falling asleep but before I knew it I woke up with Alice hugging me and Rose hugging her.

The guys were hungover to various degrees. Jasper being the least, Emmett after him and Edward the worst.

We made the dining table in our suite our communal eating area not bothering to go downstairs to the hotel's dining area and restaurant. We ordered nothing but room service and ate together.

Edward and I glared at each other impassively when we came up and sat on opposite sides, our pride in between us. "I want to go to Rodeo Drive!" Alice piped up and Rosalie agreed. "What about you Bella?" Emmett asked, "it's your trip as much as everyone else's."

I shrugged not really knowing what I wanted to see, "I don't really have a place I want to see; I'm just glad I'm here."

Edward drank his coffee, watching me closely. I turned my chin not wanting to meet his dark eyes. "I don't feel like going out today."Jasper sighed as he ate his scrambled eggs, "they're not as good as yours Bella." He complained, drinking his orange juice to wash them down. I smiled,"thanks."

"You don't want to go out?" Alice asked trying not to sound dejected; he looked at her and sent her an easy grin. "I need to look over some legal paperwork having to do with Grandaddy's will. The lawyers need me to fill out some things."

"Oh." Alice deflated nodding and trying to bring herself up, "we can go to the beach again for a few hours and then go out tonight. I want to see the nightlife."

"We've seen the beach Alice." Rose said getting up to sit in one of the couches by the living area. "You don't mind if we go to Rodeo Drive right Jazz?"

"No," he shook his head, "not at all. Go and look around, maybe wrangle them-" he cocked his head to the Cullen brothers, "into buying you a bag or ten."

Edward rolled his eyes, "right."

"You sure?" Alice asked once again, "of course darlin', why would I lie?" Alice's eyes sparked, "ok."

"Let's get ready!" Rose jumped up and ran to the bedroom, "Rodeo here I come!"

"Come on Bella, we need to coordinate!" Alice pulled me to get up but I shook my head, "I'm taking a leaf out of Jasper's book and stay in too." I was emotionally exhausted and I didn't feel like going through another silent battle with Edward. "What?" Alice asked me.

"I need some Bella time." I got up making a point to not look in Edward's direction and walked to the kitchen area. I'd stocked it with some basic groceries and I felt like baking. It was my own kind of alone time.

"This is your fault." I head Alice whisper, probably talking to Edward who didn't say anything in response when I heard her enter our bedroom.

I heard him scoff, scrape his chair away and walk off closing the door with a snap. I sighed leaning on my arms against the sink, _this is not how I imagined this trip at all._

"Don't worry Bella," Jasper walked up and stood behind me, "you guys are just going through a shift in your relationship."

"What do you mean?"

"Besides what happened with Tanya, you and Edward haven't had a lover's spat right?" I laughed dryly, "the Tanya episode was more than a spat."

"No, it was underhanded tactics and a misunderstanding; other than that you and Edward have been in the honeymoon stage. There will always be some kind of tension in a couple's relationship as long as they are able to move past it."

"Yeah well, let's say we've reached an impasse." I said cutting into some strawberries rather roughly, their juice splattered all over me. Jasper handed me a dish towel and I cleaned myself off.

"Hey, why don't you bake something while I finish my paperwork and after we can dig in and talk about our shortcomings?"

"Sure." I smiled, he went to his and Edward's suite and half an hour later those going to Rodeo were off, "I'll bring you something!"Alice piped running out.

"Ok." I didn't really care for anything Rodeo Drive offered and I knew everyone else would remind Alice that. I baked some strawberry tartlets, letting them rest as I watched television and let the day drag by. I watched the summer reruns of some popular singing competition getting a little annoyed at the frosted haired overly enthusiastic host and three annoying judges.

One was ok-looking and British, _he's alright I guess._ I mused after a while; _Paula Abdul though seems kind of iffy…_

The phone rang pulling me away from the show, "hello?"

"Hey baby who's your favorite designer?" Edward asked through the receiver. My eyebrows shot up because of three things, one: he was calling, two: he sounded casual as if we weren't in the middle of a disagreement, and three: he wanted to know if I liked a fashion designer? Really?

"I don't have one."

"Pick one."

"Why?"

"I want to get you something nice." He insisted impatiently.

"No." I felt anger boil through me, "you can't buy me with an expensive bag or outfit Edward." I hung up before he had a chance to rebuttal. I scoffed looking around and getting angrier by the second. How dare he think that just by getting me something like that I would forget our impasse and everything would be peachy keen?

Deciding I needed to vent I called Jasper up and he was over five minutes later, "hey." He let himself in with one of our extra keys.

"Edward is such a fucking douche!"

His eyebrows shot up and quietly showed me to the sofa,"no wait I made us some treats." I went to the kitchenette and asked him to get us two glasses and the carton of milk I'd ordered up while waiting for the pastries to bake.

Once we were settled he motioned me to start over, once I finished my ranting he said, "Edward has always been sure of himself. I can see him doing this not to get on your good books but because he wants to shower you with gifts." I scoffed again, folding my arms and looking away. "He killed himself for weeks before your birthday, Valentine's Day and graduation. He wanted everything to be perfect."

"So?" I shot down the small feelings of surprise and guilt before he went on. "So taking into account how he feels about you and his confidence, I'm sure he knows you'll be able to get over this pebble in the road." He took a bite of a tartlet and hummed, "if you ever open your own bakery or restaurant, I'll put my name down as an investor."

I blushed, "thank you."

"Bella, Edward is just so confident in your relationship that he can look around the argument but still know he's in hot water." I stood up not wanting to see reason. "That still doesn't mean he practically said having sex with me was the 'worst' thing he could do."

"What?"

The small blush felt like it burst in to flame spreading all over my face and neck, "forget I said that." I said hurridly and feeling embarrassed to the core.

"Edward said that?" He asked disbelievingly.

"I-I don't…"

"Bella," Jasper walked to me, putting his hand on my shoulder, "I don't want to embarrass you nor do I want you to believe that Edward is a jerk by telling me all of your personal details but trust me when I tell you, Edward would jump at the chance to sleep with you. Trust me." There was something hidden in his voice but I pushed that aside.

I looked at him with quiet astonishment, I didn't know if to feel worse or elated that Edward's best friend was talking about him fucking me. _Then again… Rosalie and Alice know a few things about Edward and I…_

"Trust me." Jasper told me, looking at me determinedly as if trying to convince me with his silent glare.

"I don't know."

"Why do you always fight it?" He asked curiously, I knew he meant generally. "Because if I believe, the chances are that I will be crushed and I don't want to be crushed."

"But if you don't trust and believe you'll always be in the dark."

"But if you trust and believe you'll always be blinded." I countered, I knew I was being stubborn but I couldn't help my pessimistic views even though part of me fought with myself every single day. The voice inside my head was a perfect example before she blended back into my psyche.

The door opened and in walked in everyone else, they all spoke adamantly amongst themselves. They stopped and stared at us, "Bella, Jasper?" Alice questioned us.

"How did it go?" I ask her wanting to give Jasper a hint to not bring up our conversation.

"Great, I got a really fabulous _Michael Kors _dress!" Rosalie told me showing me her fancy looking bag as Alice walked between Jasper and I suspiciously. I noticed someone behind Emmett whom I'd never met before.

Emmett noticed my noticing and turned to the guy. He was no taller than Emmett who stood at 6'3"; the guy was well-built, olive skin, defined facial features, hazel eyes and stylishly cut hair slightly slicked back. "Bella Ella, Jasper this is Mauricio Blanco; he's a Woodbury survivor too." Emmett patted Mauricio fondly.

"Hello," he leaned forward with his hand extended to me, his playful caramel eyes made me smile.

"Bella." I said shaking his firm grip. It was slightly calloused making me think it didn't match his smooth persona. "Forgive my rough hands," he told me reading my mind, his voice was velvety smooth and with a slight hidden accent, "cutting and polishing wood for my various models…" he explained.

I nodded, mirroring his grin. Edward cleared his throat somewhere behind me and came up to kiss me hello. I was still a little miffed with him but I returned the kiss, not going deep for various reasons. Mauricio turned to Jasper and greeted him heartily, "nice to meet you Jasper."

"Likewise." Jazz answered easily. Emmett took the helm again, "I couldn't come back without seeing Mau, he and I had a _lot_ of fun when we shouldn't have." He wrapped his arm around Mauricio's shoulders and boomed. "Yes, and now we're making up for our fooling around." He chuckled.

"Mau wants to take us out tonight," Rosalie tells Jasper and I as she and Alice give everyone a chilled water bottle.

"Oh?" Jasper's interest was piqued, "where are you taking us?"

"Considering that Emmett and I are the only twenty one year olds, I know a good underage Latin lounge in Old Town."

"You're girlfriend's underage?" Edward asked coolly as he took a seat in one of the couches. Mauricio laughed lightheartedly, "no, Emmett and I used to go there all the time." I cocked my eyebrow at his little comment slash attitude. _Shooting himself in the foot much?_ And, alas, I'm single" He glanced over at Rose who returned it with a small grin. _My how the tides quickly change..._

"Where's Old Town?" Alice asked, sitting on the couch's arm next to Edward, she took a sip of water.

"It's a well-known commercial part of Pasadena." Emmett answered her motioning to Mauricio to sit opposite Edward. They both sat down but Jasper and I stayed standing, I didn't feel like sitting much. Rosalie sat next to Edward, staring at his friend.

"What's the dress code?" Alice asked, glancing at Mauricio blankly.

"Casual." He told her shrugging slightly. "In other words," Rose piped in, "_dressy_ casual."She smirked drinking her water.

"Sure." Mauricio grinned, shaking his head slightly."Well," he got up turning to Emmett, "I've got to head out," Emmett mirrored him looking downcast, "I need to go down to Seal Beach for an appointment with a coworker. A client wants the firm to build him a three-story modernist beach house."

Emmett whistled, "what's the number?"

"One point seven." Emmett let out another whistle but this time he took his time. "Nice," he nodded appreciatively.

"What does that mean?" Alice asked what everyone was wondering silently.

"The worth of the project."

"And one point seven what?"

"Million." Emmett told her, smirking, he walked Mauricio to the door, "alright man, good luck with the drive."

"No worries man," he laughed shaking his hand. "I'll be back in time, I'll meet you at the lounge." Emmett gave him the affirmative and parted ways for the time being.

"He seems easy going." Jasper noted, Emmett chuckled nodding. "Very much so. What did you two end up doing?"

"I finished up with the acquisition paperwork, finalizing it all while Bella baked us some strawberry cakes."

"Tartlets," I corrected going to the kitchen to bring out the few spare ones we didn't eat. Emmett went for one immediately while Alice and Rose passed saying they needed to look for outfits. Edward took one sending me a quiet, pensive look.

He took a bite, eyes on me. I didn't look away, waiting for him to say or do something. "They're in their bubble now." I heard Rose comment somewhere to my right. Everyone chuckled moving around us and letting us be. "It's like watching a National Geographic special on the mating rituals of lions or whatever the fuck."

"The proud lion shows off the night's kill daring the stealthy lioness to come hither." Jasper imitated the voice of a commentator,"the lioness doesn't make a move towards the juicy, sweet morsel in his paws. He licks it slowly and invitingly."

"Jasper!" Alice exclaimed sounding falsely indignant.

"You know that's what they're thinking." He said, unapologetic. "The lion smirks blinking once," he went back to "commentating,"describing Edward's movements, "twice now. Get ready folks," Jazz said dropping his voice to a whisper. The atmosphere became heavy and hooded, "the lion is about to pounce." I didn't know if Edward was following Jasper's game or Jasper was following Edward's but next thing I knew Edward threw the unfinished tartlet in Emmett's direction, "hey!," before crouching down and showing his teeth. There was a mischievous smirk in the corners of the playful snarl before Edward threw himself at me, wrapping his arms around me and spinning us around mid-jump. I let out a surprised yelp as we landed the bigger sofa.

"Edward!" I chided, I extended my arm and pushing his shoulder away from me, he kept smirking, his jade eyes dancing.

"Get a fucking room!" Alice said half-heartedly. The guys laughed mercilessly and Rose muttered something about animal lust.

Edward got up in a swift movement pulling me with him and running out the room, the hall and into a closing elevator. There was a surprised middle aged couple; Edward punched a number as I pulled away."Edward!" My cheeks and neck became hot and I could only image how red I was quickly becoming.

"I'm only following their advice." He said, shrugging and putting his arm around me tightly- totally ignoring the couple who was now whispering at each other. The elevator stopped, checking the floor, Edward smiled broadly and pulled me into the new corridor as soon as the elevator doors opened.

I didn't know if to feel angry, indignant or amused so I just followed without much of a fight afterward. We reached room 260, taking out his key card he opened the door and pulled me in. His suite was smaller with two twin beds, a television, a little writing desk and what seemed to be the bathroom adjacent to the bed.

His window was wide and gave you a shot of the suburban city at the foot of chaparral hills, the bright afternoon looked more than inviting. I turned to Edward, who seemed to have sobered up.

"I don't like being angry with you." He told me simply. I bristled, wrapping my arms around me, "_you're _angry with _me_?" I scoffed, "_I'm_ angry with _you._" Edward's eyebrows shot up, "no no no. _I'm _angry with _you_." He pointed at himself than at me for emphasis.

I shook my head adamantly, "no no no no, _I'm _angry with _you_." I mimicked him.

"No no no no no." He shook his head adamantly while looking at the floor, "_I'm _angry with_you_." I exhaled noisily, "Edward," I growled hoping he heard the anger in my voice, "you're the one that rejected me at the pier."

He looked at me in shock. "_When_?"

"At the pier."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did." I scoffed again, noting wanting to face him and looking out the window. "Explain." His voice was rough and angry.

"I said something about showing me how much of a straight man you are and you said something about it being the worst thing you could do." Edward didn't answer right away but then I heard him expel a loud breath of air. We seemed to be mimicking each other a lot that day.

"I never said that. If I remember correctly you did imply something but I…"

"But you… what?" I demanded feeling him falter at the end of his clarification. He looked away, his perfect high cheekbones inking a little. "Edward?"

He ran his hand through his hair in frustration, "I promised him I wouldn't say anything."

"Promised whom?" _Huh?_

He sighed again, taking me in as if studying either my trustworthiness or my state of mind, "you're my girlfriend." He stated.

"Yes." I answered although I wanted to add something bitter to it but I knew the storm would soon pass. Edward and I always seemed to make it work somehow so I didn't continue.

"And we're allowed to speak openly with each other right?" He inched towards his point making me somewhat impatient but I knew I had to rein it in. He wasn't over the line where he would be forced to finish yet.

"That's a given." I nodded once, taking a step to sit with him on what I assumed was his bed. He placed his arms beside his legs, leaning forward as if preparing to run off if/once we got to a particular part of this odd conversation.

"And we have to be totally honest with each other- have no secrets between us?"

"Yes." I sat down tentatively keeping my eyes on his."That's the general school of thought."

He inhaled deeply looking at me again, "there's an invisible yet very solid agreement between us right?" I nodded, "one where we have to keep each other's secrets…"

"Edward…"

"Chief Swan told me not to touch you in _that_ way until you're thirty." He blew out standing straighter, "otherwise he would make my life a living hell and trust me Bella his tone gave me the fucking chills." My mouth dropped.

My anger immediately moved from Edward and faced Charlie, "what?"

"He asked me to see him at _Johnnie's_ last week and asked me to keep my distance for the time being." He sighed, his shoulders falling. "I wasn't rejecting _you,_I was following Chief Swan's orders." He looked away from me, tentatively.

"Charlie asked you to keep your distance?" _That is it. That's fucking it. I mean for him to come between Edward and I… agh! I want to punch something or _someone_!_

"He kind of has a point…" Edward told me quietly but edging away, "you _are _underage and well I'm not and the law clearly states…"

"He threatened you with jail time?!" I yelled jumping up, I'd never wished more than that moment to be able to run like The Flash."I… I can't believe this…"

"He has a point." He told me with more conviction,"there's a reason why those laws exist."

"You're not fifty five and I'm not thirteen!"

"That doesn't matter, the fact is that you're still a minor and I'm not." He got up and paced around in a tight circle, "I gathered he doesn't know how far we've gone but I'm sure he knows you're still a virgin."

"And so are you." I threw at him hoping it would sting. The fact that he was siding with Charlie angered me. _He's supposed to be on my side._

"That didn't hurt you know." He told me, smirking lamely. I sneered turning away, he came to sit with me, "your eighteenth birthday's coming up…" he whispered with promises weaved around his words. I felt goosebumps rise all over my skin, he leaned forward,"I gave your dad my word I wouldn't cross the line… yet."

He let out a breathy sigh, I felt his warm hand on my thigh, "I'll be the perfect gentleman," his breath fanned my neck forcing me to bite my lip as I tried to quench the sudden aching between my legs, "that doesn't mean I'll be one come September thirteenth." I felt him run his nose down my neck, inhaling slowly.

I pushed my neck towards him, sighing again and wishing he would touch me.

His lips met my skin, he nibbled chastely; I cursed Charlie under my breath deciding to give him a call before heading out to Pasadena. "I hear your gears turning." Edward whispered in between nibbles, "I told you so you would know why I won't be touching you not to tell on me."

I groaned pulling his face to me, his eyes were dark but lively, "this is not fair."

"I know." He bent his neck and went back to kissing my neck, this time going for my left side. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"I was hoping you'd be too distracted with the sightseeing and being with everyone to have a moment to ourselves but that kind of blew up in my face." Feeling horny and unsatisfied I said, "I wish I would blow up in your face."

Edward pulled me away with a shit-eating grin, "did you just say that?"

"Will you make it true?"

"Not for the time being." I rolled my eyes getting off his bed and going for the door, "I'll see you in a few hours."

"Bella, baby-"

I knew I was being childish and stubborn yet again but what the fuck man! I was finally happy in my own skin- for the most part, and here was Charlie getting in between us. _Fucking blows!_ I went upstairs to my suite to find Jasper and Emmett lounging around while the girls did their thing in the bedroom.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready?"

"Our rooms are so fucking small compared to yours."Emmett told me motioning me to sit down. I plopped down next to him, "did you and Edward get all _Lion King_ on each other?"

I snorted very unladylike, "do you mean if I watched as a homicidal uncle do away with- nevermind." I said, my words stopping me from continuing. Emmett cocked his head to the side knowing what I was about to say,"hey you're the one that compared my arguing with Edward to a kinda sad movie!"

"_I don't want to close my eyes_!" Jasper threw himself into the fast-approaching awkwardness,"_I don't want to fall asleep cuz I miss you baby! And I don't want to miss a thing!"_ He sang dramatically, standing up and jumping on the couch a la Steven Tyler. "_Cuz even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you, baby and I don't want to miss a thing_!"

Emmett and I stared at him, I thought of Edward singing_Pour Some Sugar on Me_ just as dramatically. _No wonder they're friends…_Rosalie and Alice stepped out of the room and gaped at Jasper who was belting the song at full volume, sounding more than good. "_and I don't want to miss one smile and I don't want to miss one kiss. I just want to be with you, right here with you- just like this; and I just want to hold you close. I fell your heart so close to mine._"

Edward came in stared at Jasper for a second and then jumped on the couch and finished with Jasper, looking at me as he found his place. I sat back not knowing what to do_,"and you'll stay here in this moment for the rest of time! Yeah! Yeah, yeah!"_

Jasper put his arm on Edward's shoulders and continued to sing letting Edward sing along, _"yeah! Yeah! Don't want to close my eyes, don't want to fall asleep cuz I miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing._ _Cuz even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you, baby and I don't want to miss a thing_!" Jasper took over the Steven Tyler screeching, hitting the notes perfectly.

_Who knew Jasper could sing?_

They ended the song with a photo finish. Jumping on, breaking and burning their air guitars in the process. _Yup, they both escaped from the same mental institution._

Jasper threw himself on the couch and Edward jumped off gracefully. "That was fun, we should do that again." He told him.

Jasper let out an out-of-breath laugh, nodding. "What the hell was that?" Rose was the first of their audience to say something.

"I needed to release some internal stress." Jasper shrugged going to the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. "You're nuts."Rose shook her head, pointing between he and Edward. Alice stood in between the kitchen and the living room looking at Jasper with a dreamy expression. I bit my lip feeling excited for her.

I knew she would kill me is she ever found out I knew about something so important as Jasper crushing on her but Jasper needed a friend to lean on more than Alice needed to know. I would just have to sweeten her up with my baking and hope for the best when and if it happened.

"Ok anyone with high levels of testosterone," I said wanting to block out unhappy thoughts, "get out."

"Why?"

"We need time to get ready and it's obvious you're just going to loiter around."

"Oh come on." Emmett groaned, "this is stupid. You just need an hour-"

"You obviously don't know those two, besides we're not free to walk around with the three of you making a mess out here."

"What?" Jasper asked grinning, "are you going to walk around naked?" His lips spread out in a wolfish grin, Edward and Emmett half-groaned, half-harrumphed. Jasper would be the only one to enjoy the show if there was one, while the Cullen brothers would have to invest in mental bleach.

"Shut up, Longhorn Pervhorn." Rose literally pushed Jasper to the door while I stared the brothers down, "we need at least two hours and there's no guarantee that we'll be fully dressed."

"Oh come on!" Rose opened the door and pushed him out, Em and Edward walked out mumbling to themselves about unfairness and girl issues. Edward ran back to kiss me goodbye and bolted before Rose went after him.

"Finally." She said after she closed the door on Edward running and jumping Emmett from behind, I rolled my eyes, _the boy is full of testosterone._

"Why didn't you let Jasper stay?" Alice asked, blushing and fanning herself; Rose and I laughed shaking our heads, "someone's panties are wet."

"Oh shut up! You were totally drooling over Mauricio, you brother-flirter!"

"No, you pronounce it Mau-rricio! Hey, Emmett is hot but that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to peruse the marketplace!"

"Ugh whatever and besides you don't roll the r! Bella isn't that when there's double r's not just one?"

* * *

**EPOV**

"A Shirley Temple or a Roy Rogers?" Emmett asked me mockingly. We were in _Azul Purpura_, a two-floor lounge in the hub of Pasadena. The bottom floor was for the underage while the upper floor was for those twenty one and over. The place was decorated with low lighting in dark purple and blue tones, Hispano-American décor everywhere. Aztec, Incan and Mayan symbols hang over each of the long U-shaped booths.

The lighting was muted enough where you couldn't see in front of you but thankfully no one had tripped on anything when we'd made our way into our dark purple booth. I had my arm around Bella's waist and held on tighter knowing her tendency to trip on a flat surface. "Thank you." She'd whispered once the Posh Spice-looking hostess.

Mauricio had taken a liking to Rose and was currently showing her how to dance to a very loud and obviously sexual song that rang all over the place. The dance floor was a few ways away from our booth. They'd set it up so the patrons sitting down could watch the dance floor like a live floor show. _I guess that's the general layout in clubs._ I thought mildly.

Alice grabbed Jasper and pulled him after Mauricio and Rose leaving Emmett, Bella and I to talk amongst ourselves. Emmett complained about being the seventh wheel and muttering about regretting not calling one of his old flames.

"Shut up and get me a scotch and coke." I tell him, Bella giggles mostly at my expense. I kiss her cheek out of impulse pulling her closer to me.

"You guys are just too cute." He complained, drinking his double scotch.

"Go get your own girlfriend and let me and mine talk in the corner while we touch each other inappropriately."

"Edward!" I couldn't see her blush but I knew it was there, I kiss her on the lips slowly and apologetically but mostly hoping she got swept up in the slowness. _Ah. I think she just squirmed in her seat._

I felt like a cad for teasing her especially now that'd come clean about Chief Swan's laced last Friday but I wanted to test my moral limits and Bella's patience.

"Don't rub it in." Emmett huffed, "not in front of me anyway... literally." He finished salaciously.

"Not you too Emmett!"

"Oh Bella, you're going to be a college student in a few months and have a horndog for a boyfriend, you don't have to be so closed off."

"I hope she isn't." I knew I would pay for continuing the teasing but I couldn't help myself. "You bet your sweet ass I will." She growled pulling on the baby hair at the nape of my neck. "Ow." I hissed lightly and feeling a jolt of desire go straight to my dick, "how do you know I don't like that?" I whispered taking her earlobe and biting it softly as I elongated it slowly.

She inhaled sharply and immediately elbowed me in the gut- lightly but still. "Fuck."

"I'm not into window shopping. Either buy the fucking shoes or don't bother." She got up and strutted off to the dance floor. Emmett guffawed raising his drink to her retreating form, "that's my Bella Ella."

"But you didn't want me to buy you anything." I told her lackadaisically before I became entranced in the way her ass looked in that snug dark green cocktail dress.

"When are you going to give her the bag?" Emmett asked me over the lip of his glass.

"Her birthday." I smirked to myself. As if I wouldn't get her something in Rodeo Drive, fuck that; I wanted to give her everything and even though she wasn't a flashy person I found it unfair that her two best friends would have something unbelievable expensive yet equally coveted while she wouldn't have anything to show for this trip.

"Are you sure she'll like it?"

"Yeah, Rose gave me the thumbs up when I picked it out." I'd decided on a black _Guess _bag but Rose corrected me by calling it a "sling back bag." It was nothing like Rose's "hobo" bag or Alice's "tote." I'd been over my head when we walked into the various designer stores but once I laid eyes on the one I bought, I knew it was for Bella.

It was small, practical, simple and unassuming yet just as sophisticated and valuable as its counterparts.

Emmett gave out a long sigh, he looked at the dance floor wistfully. I followed his line of vision to find him looking at Rose and Mauricio. They were in the middle of what seemed like side-along Salsa but I wasn't sure. I didn't know much about Latin dancing except the few lessons Mom had given me when I was a kid.

Alice was chirping away at an amused Jasper, clearly humoring her as they tried to follow Mauricio's tutorial. Bella was on the side watching them and bobbing her head to the rhythm of the song. I was about to excuse myself from Emmett's side when the song changed to a club song.

Everyone jumped up and down, cheering at the change in atmosphere and those who knew the choreography began to line up.

Jasper and Alice stepped to the side next to Bella as Mauricio whispered something to a sheepish Rose. She nodded once as everyone began to dance in unison. Rose fell into step with Mauricio who seemed to be the leader, Rose was a quick learn followed just as well as one of the seasoned dancers behind her.

A slow hip thrust to the left, to the right, pivot to the left to the right, gyrating downward and upward, half jump and repeat while simultaneously raise arms to the left to right, hip thrust to the right, to the left, pivot to the left to the right, gyrating downward and upward, half jump and repeat.

It seemed simple enough and the addicting beat and infectious atmosphere made me want to join. "I'll be right back." I whispered to Emmett who got up with me so as he wouldn't be alone that is until he saw a leggy brunette sitting in our booth next to us. "Make sure she's legal."

"They wouldn't let her in if she wasn't." He grumbled finishing his drink. "You never know." I warn him, somewhat mocking myself as I run to Bella, "let's go in." I whisper putting my hands on her hips and pushing her lightly to where Rose is. Bella turns to me in shock, shaking her head. "I don't dance."

"Come on baby." I groan, "we're not back home, no one knows you."

"I don't have any coordination or rhythm."

"Go on Bella." Jasper encourages her smoothly, she just shakes her head emphatically. I sigh looking at the crowd, "you go."

"Not without you."

"It's ok." She shakes her head again, "go." She glances at Rose who catches her eye, she points to me and I turn to look at her. Rose waves me over, I turn back to Bella feeling slight frustration bubble at the pit of my stomach. I sigh defeated and head over to Rose. A small voice in my head telling me I shouldn't have been surprised. I ignore it and take my place next to Rose who laughs at me.

I laugh with her and almost immediately find her place. I throw myself into the dance enjoying the ambience. To say the trip was turning out to be more stress than fun was an understatement couple that with my constant run ins with Bella's walls, it made me want to blow off some steam and forget about insecurities, policeman fathers and medical jargon.

The song ended and Rose and I looked at each other not knowing if to sit down or continue dancing. I heard Mauricio yell to the DJ, "¡una vez más!" The crowd cheered and the song started again, Rose and I grinned starting again, "why isn't Bella with you?" She asked right before it started the steps quickened.

"She isn't into this."

She shook her head, scowling slightly but soon Mauricio had everyone cheering with him so we forgot about it all.

Pushing it aside again, I allowed it all to fly away, I had the unshakable feeling of roaring but I just laughed it off. I felt good.

* * *

**Remember how I said the LA chapter was going to be one chapter or less? Yeah... not anymore. BUT it'll still just be a transition. **

**The Song: I won't be able to upload this chapter's blog entry in my blog tonight because my baby brother is currently crying bloody murder and I'm on babysitter duty, yay! Anyway, let me quickly explain here: Axé Bahía is a Brazilian group who hit it big in Latin America in the late 90s/early 00s- our version of BsB with girls hahaha, but not quite (there were others). They had a super hit with _Beso en la Boca_, the Spanish version of their song_ Beijo na Boca_. It was HUGE in 2003/2004 which works for the story's timeline- a plus. **

**Go to YT and type in Axé Bahía Beso en la Boca (original)- you know you've got the music video if you see it open to a club scene and yes they're definitely _Jersey Shore_ types but they have good music to dance to ;)**

**Mini Spanish dictionary: **

**_¿cómo les va?_-I'm sure some of you who know the singular French counterpart kinda figured out but to those who didn't it means "how are y'all doing?"**

**_Azul Purpura_- There really isn't an English word for this color other than "bluish purple" or "purplish blue." By the way, this establishment doesn't exsist ;)**

**_¡una vez más!_- "one more time." In this instance that little _i_ is an an exclamation point lol.**

**NOTE: Don't freak out, a _little_ angst is on its way but trust me ok? Thanks for reading!**

**P.S. For those who don't know, I'm beta-ing Cevvin's _Don't You Remember_ and I will shamelessly plug it here (she doesn't know I'm doing so), it's definitely a worth-while read. I can't wait for the upcoming chapters, they're juicy ;)**


	27. Overprotected

**Ok, I have some 'splainin to do. Read my ending A/N, it is very important. I apologize in advance for its length.**

**I want to thank Jade's Roses for inspiring some of the monologue in this chapter :)**

**After you read my update I recommend you go and read _That Doesn't Happen in Real Life _by lil hummingbird. Not only do I LOVE that story- about best friends B/E looking at each other for the first time after knowing each other so long but I LOVE lil hummingbird herself. Kickass._  
_**

**Thank you Cevvin for helping me work through the writer's block. YOU ROCK! -and so does your story!- ;)**

* * *

Britney Spears- _Overprotected_

* * *

_2004._

**BPOV**

I listened to the musical trickling of multiple fountains arranged in and around the back gardens of our hotel. They were all the same design, two tiered pedestal, four- foot fountains singing to each other in the warm summer night. I heaved out a long sigh leaning back on the cold stone bench in between two fountains and stared at the colorful little flowers the hotel planted at the edge of the grassy lawns.

It was past one a.m. and we'd gone home from Pasadena less than an hour before. Mauricio was kind enough to offer Edward and Jasper a ride back since the car Emmett rented out could only seat five people. We'd squeezed in the back when we went to Santa Monica, and Jazz and Edward took a cab to _Azul Purpura_ but we all figured it would be easier for Mauricio to drop them off.

After dancing a few songs with Rosalie and Mauricio as part of a crowd, Edward went to sit in our booth sitting as far away possible. I watched him and he watched me, the others were either too busy with their conquests to care about another one of our tiffs or they had decided to give us some space.

Even when we were angry at each other, we still managed to stay in the same vicinity as the other. Edward ordered us various finger foods and we ate in silence.

We both knew that we would hash things out when we went back to the Hilton.

After excusing myself and wishing Mauricio a good night, I let Alice know I would be in the gardens because I needed some fresh air.

This was partly true. The air in the lounge was stifling from all the body heat and the air in the car was stale, but I was also making myself available for Edward to follow me so we could step away from the group.

I knew his curiosity would be piqued and would ask where I was going, not asking me directly because we were still angry with each other.

I waited outside trying to gather my thoughts but sooner than I expected Edward's light footfalls echoed to my right bringing me out of my reverie.

I felt my heartbeat quicken and my palms became clammy. I focused on the smooth pebbled pavement as he took his seat next to me. He was a few inches away but I knew he was thinking the same thing. He would've closer but the silent quarrel we'd had was sitting between us like an annoying cockblocking nuisance.

Edward stared in the same direction as me, unlike our pre-dating days there wasn't open animosity nor proud competitions to see who would crack first. He was the first to speak though.

"You cut yourself at the knees." This wasn't an accusation or an insult but a statement.

I said nothing knowing he was right. It was my turn to speak though.

"You're impatient."

"You close yourself off." _True._

"You're slightly aggressive when you try to make your point across." I see through the corner of my eye that he nodded once, his sharp handsome features being highlighted by the yellow lighting of the lamps.

"You're slightly aggressive when you try to make your point across." He repeated my point as one of his own. I nodded.

"I am a work in progress."

"I am a work in progress too." I turned to him somewhat annoyed that he was "stealing" my points. "You lack originality."

"You lack prospective." He looked at me, dead serious. His eyes were bright viridian and he was smirking.

"Ugh." I felt a rush of affection as I closed the space between us, I crashed my lips to his. "God," I pulled away after a moment of aggressive 'I'm sorry' kissing from both of us, I pressed my forehead on to his, "must you be so annoying?"

"It still surprises you?"

"I hate that I love it." I close my eyes and allow the stupid grin to overtake my lips.

He pulled away laughing freely, "come on." He stood up and offered his hand for me to take, I took it without thinking and he wrapped his hand into mine and began walking the circumference of the central garden.

A few people walked all looking slightly disheveled and drunk. We ignored them and continued on.

There were pathways around the grounds all leading to center, green trimmed hedges that reached just below my midsection, rose bushes, and scattered trees filled the lawns in between the paths.

"I'm sorry for being upset over you not wanting to dance." He told me as I fell into step with him, I smiled, "I'm sorry for not saying yes."

He stopped to look at me, "I know it's hypocritical now but I don't want you to do _anything_ you don't want to in fear that I'll be upset or disappointed."

I smile wider squeezing his hand while keeping eye contact, "I know that. It's me who wants to force you to do something you don't want to do." I couldn't help keeping slight bitterness drip at the end of my sentence. He knitted his eyebrows, "what do you mean?"

"I want you to sleep with me," I told him biting my lip and feeling my blush creeping over my cheeks. He laughed, swinging our intertwined hands back and forth and putting his free hand around me, "I _do_ want to be with you but I gave Chief Swan my word and I'm going to keep it."

"Yeah well," I huffed pulling away from his grasp and taking a step to the side, "since when does the 'rebel' Edward Cullen care about following the rules?" He chuckled, putting his hand on my hip, "I'm surprised you didn't go to the library and look up the Washington State laws of consent." His hand burned through my uncharacteristically frilly cocktail dress Alice wrangled me into buying in Port Angeles. _I'm surprised I didn't trip over these kitten heels._

But I soon forgot about my shoes because his lips were at the shell of my ear and his breath tickled me. I shivered, not because of my surroundings but because of the honey in his voice. "What do you mean?" My voice came out shaky and I felt his fingers flex at my hip.

"As a daughter of a policeman, a chief no less, I'm more surprised you don't know… I'm somewhat- no, _very_ disappointed you didn't look this up."

"What?"

"The age of consent in the State of Washington is sixteen _not_ eighteen…" He answered me slowly and deliberately. I hear what his saying but it takes a second for it to click in my mind. Assuming I'm just being quiet, he goes on. "It is somewhat of a misconception that the U.S. has a general 'eighteen and over' consent law." I turn around and stare at him, my heart rate picked up, my eyes became glassy and my lungs filled with air. "If anything, sixteen is the most popular age in state law." His eyes became hooded and I felt him come closer, our bodies were almost flush against one another.

My mouth became dry and I licked my dry lips, his eyes darted to them and he slowly pulled back to my eyes. I began to feel the familiar burn in my lower abdomen. "Unfortunately…"

"What?" I demanded quietly, feeling the weight of his spell and finding it hard to hold my own.

"California isn't one of them." He pulled me away, his voice becoming playful; I blinked furiously trying to understand why we weren't naked and finding new ways to sweat. _I feel cold_, I thought absentmindedly as his body heat escaped my body.

"You fucker." I growled once the lusty fog lifted.

"Eventually." He shrugged taking my insult as a literal title. He skipped away, yes skipped away from my reach. "You suck Edward fucking Cullen!"

He laughed, "and swallow! Baby," he dodged a half-assed attempt to slap his arm, "it should be 'Swan fucking Cullen,' wouldn't you agree?"

"Unoriginal, unwitty tease!" I growled again as he dodged another attempt before catching my hand and pulling me to him, he suddenly became serious. "I've made so many idiotic mistakes with you," his voice was low and powerful. My breath caught in my throat at his tone, words and his sudden twitching in the inside of my thigh. "But I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Then do it." I sighed, seeing how far I could take this and if I had any leeway with his stupid decision to let my stupid father dictate our relationship.

He chuckled again, annoying me further. I sure as hell didn't find the situation as funny as he did nor did my borderline groveling escape my notice. I just hoped it escaped his.

"I will, I promise I will." His eyes softened, he stroked my hair reassuringly, "I've been waiting for you longer than you've been waiting for me." He pointed out mischievously. "You realize that right?" I huffed again trying to pull away but this time he held me there, "I'm not trying to be difficult nor am I denying you anything," I scoffed again, "_but_ I want to prove to Charlie that he can trust me _and _show you I'm not kidding around." I rolled my eyes at first but then I looked at him in surprise when he made his second point.

"I love you Bella." His eyes scorched into mine, "I don't know what that means in the real adult world because let's face it, our hormones are still ruling our lives," _he had a point there_. "But all I know now is that I have this intense, almost unbearable feeling to be with you non-fucking-stop; to protect you, to show you around, to share everything that makes me happy. I want to be with you when good things happen to _you_, to make you better when they don't. I want to show you off, to kiss you, to ravish you." He pressed himself harder into me making the already wild butterflies in my stomach almost die from fluttering so much. "I fucking love you and I'd love to fuck you."

"Edward." I breathed feeling my legs quiver under me, thankfully he held me tightly to support my weight.

"Forgive me for being an ass but don't expect me to be ok when you cut yourself off." He told me emphatically.

"Oh god." Could I feel any more flattered and quite frankly, shocked that he was not only expressive but so fucking sexy? He was like Orlando Bloom and Colin Firth all wrapped into one except that I had him whereas I could only dream of meeting the other two.

Colin Bloom chuckled, "I know that's an expression but every time it comes out of your sweet mouth I imagine us sitting in identical thrones, regalia, pomp and circumstance."

"Delusional egomaniac." I giggle, placing my hands that'd limp on his arms, up to his chest.

"Understated goddess." He whispered placing a sweet kiss near my ear. I sighed again putting my head on his shoulder, "I love you."

"I know." His voice was both teasing and arrogant. After a moment of holding on to each other he spoke, "I hope my dancing with Rose didn't upset you." He sounded nervous. I stiffened slightly which I'm sure he felt because I felt him grasp me tighter.

It did bother me to see them dancing together, not because I doubted Rose or even Edward but because it was a silent and painful reminder of how physically attractive they would have been if they'd set their eyes on each other.

After a minute of self-doubt I shook it away reminding myself of the last words Dr. Carter had told me before our tenure ended.

"We only have ten minutes left in our session Bella." She'd told me a week before graduation, "I want you to know that even though I don't play favorites, you will be one of my more memorable patients."

I blushed at her words and glanced at the floor letting my hair curtain me, "thank you." I know she meant it as a compliment because she took her glasses off and I saw nothing but sincerity in them.

"I want you to know you are a brave and transparent young woman that knows her flaws and attributes and not a lot of people are willing to not only face them head on but also want to fix them." She set her Handy Dandy Notebook down, "although I feel like there's more work to be done, we must close one book and open another." I nodded knowing what she meant and smiling to myself because my eyes were on her leather-bound book. "If you want to continue therapy I can research the New York State Psychological Association and see if I can find a colleague that suits your needs."

"Let me think about it." I blushed not knowing if I would want that just yet. "Thank you for everything you've done for me Dr. Carter, because of you and my friends and family I'm not as broken as I once was."

"You were never really broken Bella," she shook her head making her long dirty blonde mane shake slightly. "I don't like to characterize my patients or anyone for that matter that way; you were and still are a work in progress just like everyone else." She smiled at me good-naturedly, "I believe that we never stop learning; not to be morbid but I believe that we learn new things about ourselves even as we're dying."

I blink a few times churning on this new point of view, I considered it and found that I agreed. "As for your self-image and self-esteem, I've worked with you throughout our sessions but I feel like you still doubt me." She looked slightly downcast but quickly recovered, "I can't force you to see yourself as I see you but I will tell you one thing, Edward may be cocky and overconfident but in my personal opinion that is to say off the record," she blinked making me laugh since that was the first time she ever wanted to be off the record. "It's better to be overconfident than 'underconfident'."

"Is that even a word?" I asked laughing knowing the answer already.

"Now it is." She joined in, I was somewhat baffled since this was the first time I'd ever seen her as a contemporary of sorts rather than my therapist. She leaned back as she laughed, her youth coming through, "how old are you Dr. Carter?" I asked before I could stop myself.

She looked surprised for a moment but answered me, "I'll be thirty-eight in August." I wanted to smack myself for breaking one of the major Girl Rules: never ask a woman her age. "I apologize," I said trying to backtrack but she just grinned and shook her head.

"Bella, Bella if I was offended I would have told you so. I don't mind the question, I have nothing to hide." I blushed a bright scarlet but still apologized nonetheless, "I'm not one to announce my age of course, but I'm not ashamed to admit how long I've been alive."

I gave her a watery smile, not knowing what to say. "Time's up." She said sighing and giving me an out, "good bye Bella." She stood up and I went for our traditional handshake but she surprised me by hugging me fiercely, "send me and email every now and then ok? I want to keep in touch. Your father has my personal email and phone number—for emergencies of course." She blushed herself even though I didn't understand why she would feel embarrassed for that.

I leaned in ignoring my train of thought and her sweet smelling perfume filled my nostrils, "I will Dr. Carter." She pulled away, "no more Dr. Carter, sweetie. Call me Avery. And remember, you are more than your mirror tells you."

I brought myself back from my memories and looked over at Edward who watched me with a small smile on his lips. "I was just remembering something." I told him hoping I wasn't "gone" too long. He grin became wider, "you must have been remembering something nice because you had a very pleasant look on your face.

"Part of my final session with Dr.- I mean Avery."

"I'm still not used to her not being 'Dr. Carter.'" He tells me the same thing he'd told me when I first commented how our last meeting had gone.

"I hope I don't lose touch with her," I sigh feeling tired all of a sudden, "she, along with Esme, helped me get over Renee leaving." I stifled a yawn but Edward looked at me knowingly. He let go of me but kept our hands together, "so you're not upset about me dancing with Rose and the crowd right?" He sounded nervous.

"I was," I tell him surprised at my own honesty, "for various reasons but I'm over it now. Let's just put the drama to bed; I really don't like being at odds with you." I told him as I pulled his hand so his arm draped my shoulders. He smiled holding me tighter as he lead me towards the hotel, I didn't want to say good night but I knew I couldn't stay with him in his room.

He shared it with Jasper and I didn't want to make him uncomfortable with my presence.

Disappointed but relieved Edward and I were ok again, I let him walk me to my suite. I expected him to depart once we kissed goodnight but we heard boisterous yelling inside.

I sent him a questioning look to which he answered with a shrug and walked in with me.

Emmett and Rose were whopping at Mauricio who was downing a shot while Alice looked over Jasper who laid face down on one of the sofas. "What the fuck?" Edward said getting Alice's attention. She bounced up to us but looked us over suspiciously. I rolled my eyes at her obvious thoughts.

"We've been doing shots and after Em dared Jasper to drink five shots of Cuervo he passed out!" She moved aside to show us Jasper even though we'd already seen him. Emmett noticed us and laughed going over to Edward.

"Eddie! Come on, come on!" He pulled him roughly to where Rose and Mauricio where, "if anyone can drink it's my baby brother!" Emmett said pounding his chest and shaking Edward who looked a little taken aback.

"No, Emmett." He tried pulling away from his grasp, "I don't feel like drinking tonight."

"Are you fucking with me?!" He looked incredulously at Edward who stepped away, "I think you've all had enough for the night. Take some Advil, drink a glass of water and go up to your room and sleep the alcohol off, you'll thank me in the morning."

"Come on Eddie!"

"Emmett, go." He shook his head before going to the kitchenette and getting a glass of water, "I have some Advil in my suitcase so let's go to my room before going to your room."

"Why do I feel like our roles were reversed?"

"Let's go you big lug; you too Mauricio." He told him who looked put out, Rose giggled into her hand looking a little tipsy but not as bad as the guys.

"Where would I sleep?"

"Emmett has a big enough bed and I'm sure both of you are willing to share it." He gave the glass of water to Emmett who downed it in three huge gulps. Someone was thirsty_._ I walked over to Alice who'd gone back to watching Jasper.

He was out for the count that was for sure.

"Poor baby." Alice whispered looking at him before looking over at Edward who was too preoccupied to notice her extra attention.

"He'll find out eventually you know." I whispered back.

"I know but I want to see if I have a chance before he finds out."

_Oh Jasper, why did you have to knock out?_

"What if you do?" I asked cautiously.

"Oh," Alice's eyes shone like two freshly lit candles, "that would be perfect wouldn't it? I mean he's sweet, caring, attentive and sensitive." She sighed, "what else could I want?"

_Him being conscious to hear you say these things._

I knew I was a double agent but not because I wanted to or because I was playing a sick joke. Alice trusted me with her secret and I couldn't imagine betraying her that way just like I owed Jasper the same loyalty. I was at the center of two touching U-turns.

"Bella," Edward called out to me bringing my attention to him, "I'm going to take care of Dumb and Dumber but I'll be back to take Jasper to our room."

"Ok." I nodded, liking this new and responsible Edward. He sent me a wink and carted the two drunkards off.

"Well since that's over," Rose sighed closing the doors, "I'm going to bed." She told us going off to our room. Alice clicked her tongue but I knew she wasn't really annoyed at Rose by the tiny grin on her lips.

I smiled because this meant she wasn't upset that Rose was bonding with Emmett's friend. _Makes me wonder though…_

"I think I'm going to bed too, it's been a long day." I tell her, stretching my upper body after feeling

"Did you fix things with Edward?"

"Yes and we cleared up everything even though I'm still not sure what was wrong to begin with."

"You don't always have to know exactly what causes a disagreement, you know." She told me sagely, I barked a laugh, "what's made you so wise?"

"I don't need to have a boyfriend to know about relationships," she huffed turning her cheek from me. Jasper stirred in his sleep, "chicken and waffles." He sighed.

"Someone's hungry." I chuckled.

"Let's go to Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles tomorrow, huh?" Alice told me, hopeful. I thought about it, "let's run it by everyone else because we planned on going to try In 'N Out."

"We can always go the next day." She huffed; her obvious attempt to please Jasper fell flat with me. "We leave on Sunday morning so we should definitely plan what we want to do next."

Edward made himself in before Alice could answer; we both got up quickly and looked away trying not to look suspicious, "ugh. I can see why they're good friends." He shook his head walking over to us, "He's out?"

"Completely." I nodded gravely.

"You think I can carry him upstairs?" He looked at his friend dubiously, "I wouldn't try."

"So what then?"

"Let him sleep here." Alice piped up but quickly walked off to the bathroom saying she needed to wash her hands. It was very difficult not to roll my eyes playfully.

"Hey there's an idea." Edward told me looking to me devilishly, "if we leave him here you can come upstairs with me."

"Edward come on." I shook my head feeling guilty; Alice left the door open as she rinsed her hands. She looked at us looking at her and said, "what?" _A little guilty, aren't we Alice?_

"I'm borrowing Bella for the night." Edward answered her, before I could tell her otherwise he grabbed my hand and practically ran out of the room with me. "Edward!" I gasped rushing to keep up with him.

"What, baby?" He asked after pushing the _Up_ button for the elevator. "You don't want to sleep with me?" He almost sounded hurt, I scoffed. "It's you who doesn't want to sleep with me— what's Jasper going to say when he finds out you ditched him for me?" The elevator arrived and we stepped into it.

"He'll be thinking about the massive hangover his going to have than my choosing my girlfriend over him." He looked at me pointedly, "I made a promise to your dad and I'm not breaking it." He told me as he pushed his floor's number.

"You suck." I said not finding anything less childish and more articulate. "And swallow." He put up his finger, cocking his chin to the side and looking very serious. I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips but I did manage to stop from embarrassing myself. I think about how I've never 'sucked' or 'swallowed' and like the Red Sea, I saw a loophole.

Edward began talking about doing the regular touristy stuff in Hollywood but wanting to visit the Capitol Records building, the Hyatt - where Led Zepplin, the Rolling Stones and Axl Rose used to party, "the only issue I would have with seeing the Hyatt is the whole Corey Taylor suicide attempt but then think about it baby, it has _so _much rock 'n roll history it would be crime not to see it!" I loved his enthusiasm, it made me just as excited as he just thinking about going. "And maybe we can swing by Whiskey a Go Go since it's so close by."

I was torn between being part of his conversation and trying to rein in the loophole that circling my thoughts. The old tone of The Voice piped up, _promises can be broken._

Edward opened the door to his room and waited for me to enter, I smiled sheepishly feeling the nerves crash down on me.

He'd always been attentive and focused on my release but I'd only ever focused on him _once_. I sighed internally, _selfish…_

This cemented my resolve even though I wanted to run for the hills. Not because he scared me but I was about to do something I'd only ever seen in the very limited exposure to porn, in Sex Ed with all of the warnings and gossipy quad talk at school with the other girls.

Suddenly the atmosphere around us changed. He closed the door and walked over to me, his cocky smirk in place. "I haven't been alone with you like this since…"

"The day you went to Forks overnight." I nod knowing what he means and feeling the excitement buzz between us. He stood over me, I felt my chin lift to see his eyes. "You're so tall." I whisper.

"You just noticed?" He grins arrogantly.

"I was annoyed with you." I scowl but secretly love the old fire between begin to ember. His eyes flicker for a second before he wraps his arm around my waist pushing me up to him. "I love being talker than you because I get to do this."

"You're such a sap." I said to try and control the now fast-burning fire, I didn't try to pull away though. "I've missed you." He whispered coming down and barely touching my nose with his. His eyes dropped and I knew where we were headed.

I grinned feeling another part of him show me just how _much_ he'd missed me. "It's been such a long time." I sigh running my hands up his button down-clad chest. I watched my hands slowly letting my eyes trail them slowly and hoping I look a fraction of what I assumed was sexy.

I wrapped my hands around his neck and looked up to find his eyes become hooded and dark olive green. He moved me against his body so he could hold me with both arms. "Did you know that my right hand is five percent more toned than my left arm?" He asked leaning down, tracing my jaw his nose.

I sighed closing my eyes, I had a little inkling at what he was trying to say but I wanted to play innocent without sounding like a total loser. "Why's that and why is it important?" He chuckled darkly at the base of my ear sending light and warm breath around my neck making the back of my hairs stand up to attention.

"Oh I think you know exactly what I mean." He began nipping at my skin with butterfly kisses, "let's get you out of that uncomfortable dress hmm?"

"Fucking tease." I sigh again pulling away before he lets me go before he finds my zipper on the side of my body.

"You used to tease me all the fucking time…" His eyes didn't meet mine focusing on working the zipper. _Thank god I decided to wear 'cute' underwear._ Rose and Alice had convinced me to go to a VSstore while Esme and Mrs. Hale went to the Pottery Barn down the street because Esme noticed the apothecary table they'd used in _Friends_.

"I didn't know your mom was into the show." Rose commented to Alice while we walked in to _Victoria's Secret_. I of course felt out of place but tried to keep my self-image issues to myself. _I am more than what the mirror tells me._

"She isn't." Alice answered, shrugging and changing the subject when she saw a cute pair of hiphuggers with initials all over it.

"Hmmm…" Edward hummed once he got me out of the dress, I blushed trying to kill the reflex to pull away and cover myself. "Sexy." He said more to himself than to me, "_Victoria's Secret_ never looked more intriguing."

I looked down at my black and white bra and panty set wanting to die in mortification. _I should have worn the red set! Fuck!_

"Don't." He told me fiercely, pushing my chin upwards with his index finger, "whatever's going through that pretty little head of yours, don't."

"Easy for you to say."

"Listen to me, and listen to me good." He grasped my hips, spreading my legs with his thigh and preceded to grind himself on me. I felt myself hope that he would forget about his so-called promise, "I don't give a fuck if you think you're not worthy of a catwalk but you are more than worthy of my throne."

"You seriously have to consider deflating your ego or otherwise you might actually believe these fantasies."

He laughed, "don't make me break my promise."

"What if I want you to?"

"Don't do that either baby," he stepped backwards and went to take off his shirt, "I want to look at Charlie in the face in December; I hope to make up for lost time by then." He threw his shirt somewhere to my right going for his belt. My eyes followed his hands but landed on the protruding bulge directly below his hands.

"I love it when you stare, it tells me how mesmerized you are by me." He palmed himself once taking his time. I forced my eyes to look up at his- I wanted to be annoyed but I just couldn't. "Let me do it." I said swallowing hard and remembering my watery plan.

His grin faltered a bit, his eyes dropped ever so slightly and I could have sworn I saw him shiver before unbuttoning his jeans. My fingers fumbled twice but he didn't seem to mind, he just stared at me with warring emotions deep in his eyes.

I unzipped the dark jeans and glanced down to see the white waistband of his black boxers fighting the erection underneath them. _Ok this isn't so bad. I can seduce him…_

Unable to help myself I traced the deep _V_ that I hadn't really noticed before; either because I was too focused on the main prize or because he'd been working out more than ever before. My fingernail raked his sooth, tight skin up, down and up again.

His breathing became shallow, he swallowed hard and I saw him twitch in his boxers. "Why do you make this so hard?"

I giggled, "you're the pre-med, baby." I breathed knowing exactly what he meant, "and a guy… I thought you'd know what happens when a healthy guy like you is sexually aroused." I hid my nerves rather well but I knew that if he rejected my advances I would be crushed.

I didn't want to sleep with him because I was horny, yeah ok maybe I was but I wanted to be with him in that way after so many fucking years of titillation and the new found love between us. Feeling impatient I went on, "a strong, virile male at his sexual peak." I dragged the last word hoping it would drag my words like a fishing line waiting for a nibble.

Edward put his hands on my shoulders, shut his eyes hard and breathed through his teeth. "I promised." He held on to that stupid sense of honor like a lifeboat. I huffed internally taking a step further, "_you_ did. I didn't." I couldn't hold the frustration at bay but I took the opportunity and turned us around so I could push him backwards onto the bed. _Fine, keep that stupid promise but that doesn't mean I won't test your resolve._

"Woah." He exclaimed, eyes popping open as he landed with a few little bounces on his white sheets. His head didn't reach the headboard making his long legs dangle off the edge. "Bella." He gasped as I quickly discarded his boxers and jeans.

It was now or never.

"You wanted a more confident me." I told him staring at his gorgeous face and lust-filled eyes. The lights were off but the huge window allowed the moonlight to shine through. I smiled, _this reminds me of his room._

"I-I'm sho-"

I was too riled up to keep talking and give him opportunities to talk me out of it so I climbed into bed making sure to touch his glorious body before enveloping us in a curtain of my hair. "You've been coming on to me for who knows how long," his mouth dropped at my brand new assertion, "stealing kisses, telling me you want to roll around with me in the dirt, making me fall for you, giving me who knows how many orgasms with your fingers and tongue but then you get this crazy notion to keep a stupid promise to my father."

"Uh… Bella-"

"No no no," I placed my index finger on his lips, "I'm not done." His eyebrows shot up in surprise, my ego inflated at the realization that I could actually shut him up. "As I was saying," I smirked once I felt his already hard cock twitch again. _Aren't you twitchy? _"You do all of these things to fuck with my head but you won't actually fuck me." Remembering the real confidence of The Voice I leaned back continuing to straddle him and grasped his throbbing dick in my hand.

He bucked once, hissing wildly. _Yes, this is what I do to you._ "You want me don't you?" I demanded feeling real anger because he was playing with my insecurities even though I knew he didn't mean it.

"I do." He gasped, taking a deep breath before opening his eyes which were cloudy and unfocused. I nodded once, the rejection flew out and the desire shot up.

"We live in the new millennium baby, not in the era of Don Quixote where chivalry is a way of life." I knew I needed lubrication to give him a handjob otherwise it could irritate his sensitive skin so I just squeezed a few times. He let out a deep groan at the bottom of his throat, he threw his head back giving me a beautiful view of the tense muscles there. "You love breaking the rules, why not break a few little laws and a stupid promise?"

"Fuck." He gasped coming back but not looking at my eyes. His hips began rocking back and forth trying to force my hand to slide up and down. His eyes finally rose but there was determined fire in them, I knew he wouldn't. _Not yet._

I kept our connection waiting for his resolve to break but he just breathed through his teeth. I ground me own and moved on to the next phase.

I let go of his cock ignoring his groan and leaned forward. "We'll play by your rules but I really hope you'll know how to make it up to me when you do." I whispered into his lips hoping my eyes burned just like his.

His lips curled back in a smirk, "I can't believe I passed." He mused more to himself than to me, "my resolve is stronger than I thought."

"Fuck you Edward Cullen!" I rose but didn't get up, "what the fuck?"

"You should be surprised too," I knew he enjoyed riling me up, _ugh some things will never change._ "Seeing you on top of me with nothing but a bra and panties while you grasp my dick, talking all confident and shit…" he shivered, "a dream come true."

"You suck." I gritted my teeth.

"And swallow." He winked; I let out a frustrated growl hitting him on the side of his arm. "Ow! What was that for?!" He pushed himself up on his elbows effectively pushing me up so he could sit on the bed.

"Are you kidding?!"

He let out a deflated sigh, "I want the satisfaction of knowing I proved Charlie wrong."

"This is stupid."

"I know it is, trust me I know." He reached up and rubbed my shoulders trying to soothe me. I relaxed in his arms feeling the weight of the day fall on me. I was exhausted.

"I want to sleep." I told him reluctantly getting off his lap and lying beside him. Relaxing, he snaked his hand around my cheek and leaned forward. He kissed me slow and sweet making me sigh into his lips. My heart missed a beat, the exhaustion eased a bit but I knew we were done for the night. Once he pulled away he leaned his forehead on mine, "this is harder on me you know?"

"How so?"

"I'm the one denying us this."

I pulled him down the bed and snuggled into his chest, "did Charlie really threaten you?"

"Not in so many words," he sounded sincere, "he just allowed me to read between the lines."

"Does he really expect me to be a virgin by the time I'm thirty?"

"I think that was an exaggeration on his part, baby." I could hear slight humor in his voice but I didn't find it funny. I knew Charlie was terrified of losing me like he did Renee but unlike Renee I would face him head on and work things through.

~.~.~.

We were dead on our feet when we stepped off the plane a few days later, we'd just arrived to Sea-Tac by way of LAX and all I wanted to do was sleep.

We pushed our luggage around, each carrying a carry-on and two suitcases except for Alice who bought a whole new set of clothes and had to buy a new suitcase. This meant we were going to be charged for overcarriage but Emmett didn't make much of a fuss. I tucked my brand new Winnie The Pooh plush bear under my arm as I juggled with my carry-on's weight. _Why didn't I pack this again?_

It was early afternoon but I felt like it should have been the middle of the night from how heavy my feet felt. The sleeping pill I'd taken before take-off had been pretty potent and I had to fight to keep my eyes open.

Alice told me there was a child rearing convention in Seattle that week, and there were a few mothers with their children all ranging in age causing a racket.

"A little boy kept kicking my seat as he sang the Spongebob song." Rose told me when we were gathering our luggage, "I wanted to yell, 'are you fucking with me?! Aye Aye fucker! Whooo's about to get their ass in a can? Boy sitting in A43!"

"Not only would you get an angry mother down your throat," Emmett told her pulling on her royal purple suitcase with a pink ribbon around the handle. "But the air hostess might have cried on your shoulder for making it worse."

"Yeah at least you didn't have to sit next to a nursing mother, with her boob out for you to see while the little ravenous kid gave you the stink eye for watching." Edward whined. He and Jasper had used the blank tickets Jazz gave him for his birthday last year. They managed to get seats in our returning flight home.

"_Were _you enjoying the show?" I gave him my own version of the stink eye hoping I looked more formidable than the baby.

"It wasn't my fault the woman wasn't watching the blanket slide off her shoulder while she asked me all these questions!" He told me defensively as we walked down the Arrival terminal, people where cheering and yelling names and making a lot of noise. _It's a flight from LA people, not Timbuktu_. "It's also not my fault that woman doesn't care if the old pervert sitting next to me was practically palming himself!"

"Who was palming himself, Edward?" Charlie's clear voice rung out. We all turned in unison to find him, the Cullens and the Hales holding up _Welcome Home!_ signs with little noisemakers. _Ah. The noisemakers._

"Well, where's the cold bucket of water to be thrown at you when you need it?" Edward deadpanned looking at Charlie.

"Mom!" Alice yelled running into Esme's arms, "I got the best _Prada_ bag, you have to see it!"

"Once we get home honey." She told her holding out her arms once she let go of her Alice. Emmett and Edward went to hug her hello while Rose threw herself onto her father. I looked at mine and still being angry at him for his meddling I gave him a quick hug and kiss hello.

I'd spoken to him over the course of the vacation wanting to hide my anger until talking to him face to face. I would breach the subject once we got home and I set my things down.

I knew Edward didn't want Charlie to know I found out but I wouldn't bring the actual conversation with him. I had a lot of pent up anger to deal with anyway and if Charlie decided to tell me himself, I would listen.

Rose drove home with her parents telling me she would call me the next day. Dr. Cullen drove Esme's old Blazer, Emmett decided to ride with Charlie and I in the Forks cruiser because there wasn't enough room. Charlie took this opportunity to ask me about the trip. I answered him trying not to give my displeasure away.

I could tell he knew something was not right but hopefully he would wait until we reached home to breach the subject.

We dropped Em off after Charlie thanked him for chaperoning me. He laughed it off and waved goodbye.

I told Charlie I was still under the effects of the sleeping pill to do anything other than sleep it off and he let me be.

I slept through the better part of the day, walking up after nine p.m.

I made myself downstairs to find him watching a game on television. "Evening Charlie." I said preparing myself for the impending argument.

"Hey sleepyhead, you're up."

"Yeah." I took a seat next to him on the sofa. He eased off his recliner and came to sit with me. "Emmett told me he took you to see the Walk of Fame. Did you take photos?"

"I did." Emmett had taken us around, we'd gone to Hollywood to see Grauman's Chinese Theater and at night to an eighteen and over club on the Sunset Strip, we went to Griffith Park and looked around the Observatory. Emmett took us to eat In 'N Out- which I now loved the Animal Fries and Roscoe's. We walked around The Grove, an outdoor shopping center, I loved their frozen yogurt and Edward made me ride the nostalgic trolley around the center taking photos with me and of me.

We met up with Mauricio on our last day in Los Angeles and spent the day in Disneyland. Emmett ate ungodly amounts of popcorn, cotton candy and funnel cake making me wonder if he ate like that at a normal fair. Edward loved the Haunted Mansion and the Matterhorn.

"Why do I feel like you're a ten year old right now?"

"Shush baby, you know how I love a good adrenaline rush."

Alice, Rose and Emmett threw up after riding the Teacups although I knew why Emmett did. It hadn't been a smart move after eating so much junk.

Jasper and Rose shared a love for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride especially because it reminded them of the movie. "I am Jack Sparrow, matey!"

"I just want Johnny Depp."

I rolled my eyes at their comments and looked over at some plush toys. That's when Edward bought me my Pooh Bear, "just don't give my honey away to any other bears." That earned him a slap and a kick in the shin.

I brought myself back from my memories and stared at Charlie right the face. "I think you and I need to have a little chat, Dad."

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**A few things to answer to:**

**_Charlie is being kind of creepy_****- yeah I know. That's exactly what I would have thought if I was reading this fic as a reader. He's just obsessed with keeping his little girl a little girl. Hopefully this will change in the next chapter when Bella talks to him.**

**_Why don't they just sleep with each other already?_****- I considered having them loose their virginities at various times of their relationship but the fact that Bella and Edward will be free of their families once she moves to New York won out.**

**That and of course my Charlie would exert his power over Edward as both a father and a Police Chief.**

**I'm sorry to those who I told I would update before today, Saturday but something came up last night and I couldn't update until now.**

**And finally to unknown hottie, I would have responded in your inbox but you reviewed as a guest. Thank you for all your reviews and your reading, it means a lot. I'm sorry I took 'so damn long' but college, work and a horrible case of writer's block got the best of me. Thankfully I'm over the WB and I have a better handle of school and work.**

**Next chapter: Bella runs Charlie through the ringer and she FINALLY moves to New York.**

**Thank you to all of you for your wonderful comments and questions they really do help an author get a better grasp of their story. And thank you for overlooking my horrible typos and grammatical mistakes but I'm sick of it myself. Therefore I'm looking for a beta, if you have a strong grammatical background send me a PM.**


	28. Daughters

**I would like to thank and hug all of you through our monitors because this story hit the 100,000 hit mark. WOW. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm not upset most of you didn't/haven't reviewed just the fact that you guys allowed me to get to that mark means a lot to me. A special thanks again to everyone who has alerted, favored and reviewed it too. Just know I mean it.**

**The drafts I wrote for this chapter were a lot more aggressive as far as Bella's conviction and ire towards Charlie; I toned it down because it didn't seem Bella would go absolutely nuclear on her dad. After all, he's her father and they stuck together when Renee left. There's still a blow up but it's a _tad_ bit tamer.**

**Please note that I'm going to take _some_ creative license with CIA and Hyde Park. Not much, but there will be bending.**

**Another John Mayer song, what can I say****—** he might be the rebound guy but he has good songs :D

**This chapter is dedicated to the great Frank Thornton. May everyone at _Grace Bros_. annoy the ever loving crap out of you Upstairs.**

* * *

John Mayer- _Daughters_

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_2004._

_"I think you and I need to have a little chat, Dad."_

Charlie's eyebrows quirked up, he finally picked up on my mood. He sat up straighter, "what about Bells?"

"I know you weren't happy with Edward dropping in LA but I just wanted to tell you that nothing happened that shouldn't have." I started pointedly. He caught what I was trying to say and looked away for a second. He cleared his throat, "I don't know why you feel the need to tell me this but I didn't expect anything less from you." His voice is heavy and with a hint of something. _Guilt maybe?_

"Edward was and always has been the perfect gentleman." _Yeah I know that's not totally true but he completely shot down my blatant advances. That counts right?_

"I'm sure he is." Charlie squirms in his seat but keeps my gaze. I was hoping he would come clean about his little covert "talk" with Edward before our trip but it didn't seem like he would.

I sighed and moved on to the next point, "I leave for New York in two days," his eyes flicker a sadness but he doesn't interrupt me, "I have to be there by Friday for my interview." As part of my prerequisites at CIA I had to have non-fast food restaurant experience. I'd mentioned this to Kate and she called me in LA to let me know she secured a position as dishwasher in one of the town's many bistros. I didn't squirm at the position because I knew I needed to work from the ground up and I didn't have much of a choice.

"Wow, I really misjudged her didn't I?" Alice commented after I'd told everyone at dinner. "I think we all did." I said looking over at Rose who nodded heavily. Edward didn't say anything except to give his good luck wishes and congratulations.

I'd been so sure in wanting to go to CIA that I didn't bother to ask Charlie to take me to Hyde Park to check out the campus. My heart was set and I knew I would love it no matter what. Unfortunately, I didn't give myself the chance to get to know the town hence needing to be there as soon as possible and get to know my surroundings.

_Stupid move, Swan._

"I can't believe you're really leaving." Charlie said looking down, my heart quenched and I went to take his hand to try and soothe him. We'd arrived at the central issue of our dynamic.

"It's for school, Dad." I reassured him willing him to look up. He must have felt the weight of my eyes because he eventually did. "I'm not leaving for good."

"I know but-"

"Don't compare me to Renee." I warned, he stiffened slightly trying to pull away from my hand but I stopped him. "I'm your daughter and unlike her, I'll always come back home. Always."

He looked up sheepishly, "you'll always be my little girl."

"Always." I echoed once again, _one who will have sex but that's beside the point._ "You also have to back off Edward."

"What do you mean?" He raised an eyebrow defiantly. I matched it hoping my years of imitating him in the mirror after he pissed me off paid off. Apparently they did because he wilted, "stop trying to butt in when he calls and leave us alone in the kitchen when he comes by tomorrow."

"I thought we were spending the day together, my week's leave from work starts tomorrow."

"I'm spending the day with everyone tomorrow. It's my last full day in Forks before moving to Hyde Park and I want to spend it with all of my loved ones."

He looked deflated, probably hoping he and I would spend the day bonding but I had to be fair to Esme, Dr. Cullen, my friends and my boyfriend. "How about this," I amended, "we spend the morning and afternoon together doing father/daughter stuff and go to the Cullens' for my 'Off to College' dinner Esme is cooking for me?"

Rose and Alice didn't leave for New York City until late July. It didn't make us happy but unlike me, they didn't need to be in the east coast as soon as possible.

"Ok." Charlie brightened when he saw the perks of my new plan. "That doesn't mean Edward isn't coming by before we go to his house." Charlie rolled his eyes in response.

"Hey, don't roll your eyes at me Old Man!"

"Excuse me young lady but this is my house and I can do whatever I want." In a very un-Charlie move he stuck his tongue out. My mouth dropped partially because he had always been "serious" about everything.

"Real mature Chief Swan." I rolled_ my_ eyes and turned away as I crossed my arms. _Which reminds me…_

"So we have a deal that you'll back off?"

"No."

"What?" I turned back to look at him totally shocked he wasn't seeing my way. "I love you Bella but I know how teenage boys are—I was one once remember?"

"Edward is twenty. He's not a teenager anymore."

"Technicalities, Bells." He shook his head, "he may be acting like a gentleman now but what guarantees that he'll keep it up later?" I gaped at him not knowing what to say. I knew Edward; if anything he wanted to show me how serious he was about me by keeping his promise to Charlie even if it was under coercion.

"Dad you're being ridiculous."

"Am I?" I stood up wanting to put distance between us, "Edward's pre-med isn't he? So he's studying the body and all that," he waved his hand in the general direction to refer to Edward's subject matter. "He's a growing boy too, so he knows _exactly_ what I mean." _Holy shit! I used the same argument when trying to seduce Edward! _

Charlie's face reddened but he went on, "I was married and having you when I was his age Bella."

"What does that have to do with you not trusting me around Edward and breathing down my shoulder when it comes to him and I?"

"I might have grown up in a different world than you," he stood up to full height but I'd seen him enough times in his Chief Swan mode not to be easily intimidated by him. "But I don't want you to mirror my life."

"What do you mean?" I felt like a cold bucket of water had been dropped on me. Edward was right. When was one when you needed it? "Do you mean to say you knocked Renee up and that's why she married you?"

_Now it_ all_ makes sense…_

"Your mother and I rushed our relationship and although I thank the heavens above every single day for giving me such a wonderful daughter, I would've loved to have saved her and I from all that pain." I knew he was referring to Renee but I still felt panicked.

"I wasn't the product of a broken condom?"

"Bella," he asked me shocked. I would feel the embarrassment of the question later but I needed to know if they had kept something that big from me. "You were conceived a year after we married. I thought you knew this."

"You said you were twenty…" Relief flooded my senses, "you said 'twenty' and well I remember you mentioned you were twenty-one and Renee was nineteen when I was born."

"I may have stretched the truth as I spoke just now," he rushed apologetically, "but I _was_ married when I was twenty." I nodded not looking at him and recovering from this unneeded U-turn.

_So Renee did have a choice to marry Charlie and go to New York but she chose Charlie and an unsatisfied life. She wasn't forced by social conventions or a baby. _

_She had a choice._

This ran through my mind over and over again. The idea of her being forced into marriage because of an unwanted baby on the way might have lessened the blame on her and I realized then that I wanted to excuse her for leaving us behind.

_Did I really want to find any kind of loophole to forgive her completely? _I'd blamed myself for her leaving. My weight, my lack of social skills and my all-round awkwardness had been the 'reasons' why I believed she left.

I'd long come to realize I wasn't in any way, to blame for her leaving… but…

_I want to talk to Edward._

I felt the panic come back and feeling Edward's touch would make me feel better instantly. I looked around, "is something wrong?" Charlie asked, watching me.

"No." I cleared my throat, "not at all." I killed the want to see Edward knowing it was too late for us to meet. I would make do with my own soothing.

"As I was saying before you went on a totally different tangent, I'm your father and that means I was put on this earth to take care of you and your wellbeing."

"But-"

"But nothing, as long as you live under my roof you will live under my rules." I bristled and stalked off, "thank god I'm leaving in two days then!" I rushed upstairs, keeping the angry tears at bay until I slammed the door behind me.

Charlie called out to me but I ignored him.

I knew I'd hit him below the belt with that but he just didn't understand me. I was willing to abide by his rules but not at the expense of having my wings clipped.

Hating the fact that he'd never gotten around to reinstalling my personal line, I threw myself into my bed and fell asleep crying. I hadn't handled that well and I'd behaved like the immature teenager that I didn't want him to see me as.

I'd shot myself in the foot and there was no way in hell he was going to let me be, even three thousand miles away.

_Well, we'll see about that won't we?_

~.~.~.

I woke up the next morning red-eyed and still angry. My bed covers were tangled around my legs like seaweed and my hair was nothing less than a crow's nest.

I knew Charlie was out after checking for his cruiser in the driveway. He probably didn't want to see me just yet.

Guilt overtook me and I immediately began to practice my apology speech. I wadded downstairs after freshening up and decided to start on breakfast. Food was always an easy way to get to Charlie even if he didn't want to.

Twenty minutes later and a batch of buttermilk waffles later, I was cutting fresh blueberries to top them off when he got home. I'd put them in the oven to keep them warm since I didn't know how long he'd take.

When he did come home, he walked in tentatively and with a rectangle-sized gift. "I know the computer we have is a few years old," he didn't dare look at my eyes; my shoulders fell because I knew it should have been me who stared at the floor. "And you won't be able to take it with you, I know we agreed that I would pay for a few months' worth of rent as part of your graduation preset before you finish that externship and find yourself a paying job but I wanted to give you this too."

He handed me the obviously store-wrapped present because Charlie always managed to cut either too little wrapping paper or too much before using a whole roll of scotch tape on _one_ present.

"Dad, you didn't have to do this." Fuck, did he know how to get to me. "I shouldn't have reacted that way but you seriously need to know that I can fend for myself."

"I know," he nodded still holding out the gift, "I taught you a few self-defense moves, a healthy respect for the law and gave you a can of pepper spray for every one of your birthdays." I couldn't help but smile at this, it made my heart wrench because I would be missing this.

"The only thing I regret is not teaching you how to use a gun." I shook my head emphatically, "I prefer to leave it to the professionals, Dad. I have my rape whistle and those cans of pepper spray."

"But do you think that's enough? You're going to go to New York City every other weekend to visit the girls and we all know how dangerous it could be."

Shook my head, leave it to Charlie to see a perp in every person. _Then again, that's his job…_

"Here honey." He puts the gift in my hands, "I hope this helps with your homework." I sighed knowing I would hurt his feelings if I didn't accept. I give him a side glance as I walked over to the kitchen table and opened the egg yellow present. It was heavy.

I raised an eyebrow at Charlie but he just sent me a shy grin and hurried me along. I chuckled and opened it.

It was a brand new laptop.

"Oh my god Charlie!" I gasped, this must have set him back a thousand dollars, "you didn't have to do this!"

He grinned looking at the floor still blushing, "I want to help you with your school work."

"But Dad this is ridiculous! You're already covering what my scholarships aren't, on top of paying my rent for the foreseeable future!"

"You're my little girl." He said dejectedly. I looked at him and felt guilty again, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound ungrateful but don't you think you're giving me too much?"

"I'm supposed to."

"Maybe when I was five and I wanted every Barbie available." I glanced at the printed foto of the laptop's packaging. It was an expensive brand and it looked top of the line. "But I'm going off to college; don't you think it's a lot?"

"Maybe," he shrugged smiling wryly. "I guess I'm trying to make it up to you for all those late-night shifts and weekend fishing trips with Harry and the boys."

"Dad," I sighed closing my eyes, "you were working and you deserved some time alone. You've done nothing but take care of me."

"It's not the same."

"Yes it is."

"Dad-"

"Please Bells, for your old man." He stepped towards me and took my hand gently. His dark brown eyes looked sad and with a hint of worry.

I relented knowing I was being stupid, "thanks Dad." I hugged him around his middle, he grasped me hard, "never forget how much I love you baby girl." The honesty and conviction made feel like shit. I shut my eyes and returned the hug even more.

I looked up and smiled, "I love you too Dad. I love you too."

"Even though I coddle you?"

I scoffed, "more than coddle me," I raised an eyebrow, "I'm still not letting that go by the way. You really have to learn to let me go."

"Let's sit and talk about this hmm?" He let me go and opened his body in the direction of our small kitchen table. I nodded and took my seat.

I needed to prove to Charlie that I was a responsible, mature almost-adult so I immediately stowed any leftover aggression away. I gently clasped my hands in front of me and waited for him to begin. He cleared his throat again and moved my new laptop to the side.

"You say I'm overbearing?" He mirrored me and put his hands in front of himself.

"Yes." I nodded once, inhaling deeply and hoping this permeated his mind. "You think I have you on a short leash?"

"You do." I decided on being honest and said very little to see where he would take this and if I was making any progress. He nodded and went on, this time letting his eyes fall on his hands in front of him. "And you think you need breathing room with your highly hormonal boyfriend?"

"You say this as if Edward is a sex fiend."

"Well?" He ignored my jibe and waited for me to answer his original question. "I do."

"Ok, I see your cards now let me show you mine." He nodded once and went on, "you've lead a very sheltered life, I understand I'm partly to blame and I consider this a good thing." I exhale loudly but not daring to interject. "You got into your school of choice _three thousand miles_ away from home, and as much as it pains me to let you go I'm extremely proud of you for that." I grin dryly knowing he means it but I still don't appreciate the general message.

"You're not even eighteen yet which I know is bound to change but the fact is, you're still a minor and we have to fill out some paperwork with the school."

"Dad-"

"I love the Cullens," he barrels through me shutting me up, "God knows I do. Edward is a brilliant kid but I know he likes the adrenaline rush. God also knows how many times I caught him speeding."

"But he never got a speeding ticket." I mention on the side.

"Because I knew he's not a bad kid. Overall." He tells me huffing up. "Right," I nod, "and your friendship with Dr. Cullen has nothing to do with it."

"Nope."

"Right."

"Listen Bella," he told me quickly, "I trust you and I'm sorry if you feel like I'm suffocating you," he looked down at his twiddling thumbs. "I'm just afraid."

"Of what Dad?" I sighed, exhausted. "You know I love and respect you; why can't you see that I won't do stupid shit like run off my boyfriend or end up pregnant?"

I promised Edward I wouldn't outright mention the fact that I knew he spoke to him but that doesn't take away the fact that I wouldn't be honest with Charlie on my own. He's given me enough reasons to believe he was afraid Edward would take advantage of me- _as if_, and get away with it.

Charlie blushed, "I know you're smarter than that."

I couldn't help my feathers getting ruffled. "Will you get over your aversion to my dating him?"

"I have nothing against Edward per se-"

"Uh huh." I folded my arms and waited for his backtracking, "it's true," he became defensive. "Like I said I know he's a good kid, but a growing boy just the same."

It seemed like we were in circuitous motion forever. I couldn't deal with it and let the weight fall on my shoulders. "Dad, I promise to take care of myself in every way." He made a sound to contradict me but I went on, "I swear I'll call you every other day if you want just to check up, I also swear to carry my rape whistle everywhere I go as well as my pepper spray but please, just _please_ give me some room to breathe."

I looked up from my hands and into his eyes hoping he would see the desperation and sincerity in mine. He took a deep breath before his eyes dropped. I felt I'd lost the battle but he surprised me by coming back to my eyes, "alright honey. I'll let you breathe."

~.~.~.

"I feel like there are crosshairs in the back of my head." Edward told me between his teeth, holding the glass of milk I'd poured him ten minutes prior.

I rolled my eyes. "He's in the living room reading one of his almanacs. His gun is safely in his belt and the bullets are stashed away."

Charlie and I mended fences Charlie and I ate breakfast, we spent some time in the lake just talking. He took me to Johnnie's for a late lunch and I ordered the cheeseburger special which I shared with Charlie still conscientious of Dr. Collins in the back of my head. _I should go visit her before I go tomorrow._ I'd thought idly.

Everyone in the diner had come up to me to wish me good luck in New York and even though I loved Forks, I couldn't deny the fact that I would be a total stranger in Hyde Park. It wasn't a huge metropolitan city but it was definitely bigger and more prominent than Forks, that was for sure.

"What time do you want to go over to my house?" Edward asked me taking a 'swig' of his milk. This made me laugh. "What's got you giggling, gorgeous?"

"You're drinking that milk like it was lager."

"Really?" He looked down at his glass, "huh."

"Anyway, Alice called before you got here; she asked me to head out around five." I glanced at the kitchen clock, "so that's in ten minutes."

"Ok." He nodded once and grinned, "so how did the talk go?" He whispered looking over his shoulder. "Ugh." I groaned not really wanting to go into details, "that bad huh?"

"No, the opposite. It just took a bit to get to the ending."

"Oh?"

"He's giving me room to breathe." I quoted our earlier conversation. "He kind of has to, doesn't he?" Edward asked tentatively, "I mean you're moving across the country." I knew there was no tone of sarcasm or snide thoughts so I didn't take it personally. "Well yeah but he could still call me every single day, or get me a bodyguard or some crazy thing like that."

"True." Edward nodded seriously. "I'm glad he gave in."

"Me too." I smiled extending my hand to him; he took it gingerly probably because he was afraid of Charlie's presence. "I leave tomorrow."

"I know."

"Are you sad?"

"Nope." He popped the _p_ smiling shyly. "It just means you'll be closer to me once I get back to Hanover." I couldn't help but smile. _You were the driving force behind CIA._

I'd never actually admitted that to him because it would have made him that much more arrogant about my affections towards him and because underneath it all I didn't want him to think I was clingy and stalkerish.

"Have you figured out a schedule yet?" I knew he was referring to how I would break my holidays once I began college. "Yes. We've decided that he'll fly over for my birthday for two or three days as well as Thanksgiving since I don't know if I'll be able to come here just yet.

And I'll spend Christmas and summer here."

"That sounds like a plan." He grinned. Edward always chose to spend Thanksgiving in Hanover much to Esme's chagrin but I hoped he would go to New York now that Alice and I would be living in New York.

I looked over at Edward to notice a little glint in his eye, right before I was about to ask him what he was thinking Charlie walked in and told us it was time to go to the Cullens.

He looked over at our intertwined hands to which Edward didn't let go and Charlie didn't object. I grinned and tugged at his hand when we got up, not letting go until he had to get into his shiny Volvo.

He smirked knowingly as he drove away knowing I would drive up with Charlie. I grinned back watching his car go off northward.

~.~.~.

"Holy shit."

"Bella."

"Sorry." I looked at Charlie but automatically went back to stare at my new apartment. The living room was a specious muted brown walls and earth green accents everywhere. Kate stood to the side, with a huge grin watching me take everything in.

There were wide square windows with rounded corners with a little bench. Kate had two potted plants perched on it and two small plush pillows. Even thirty feet away, I knew the windows overlooked the small city park facing west. I could see the tops of the dark green oaks and shorter maples and birches.

Whoever decided on the design had gone for underlines of boho chic. There was a white loveseat to my right with brown and green throw pillows. On my left they'd placed two matching black cushioned easy chairs with a white wooly blanket over one and a white throw pillow on the other.

On one side there was earth tones and on the other black and white. _Was this an accident or done on purpose?_ I asked myself. Unlike many homes, Kate had decided to place the brand new looking television in front of the living room, giving its back the foyer.

There were four whimsical laps around the room, two were on polished wood corner tables and the other two stood on their own. Kate had a collage of framed photographs on one of the walls; I couldn't really make them out from my vantage point and decided to look at them later.

There was a semi dark hallway on my right, where I assumed were the bedrooms and baths.

"Beautiful, Kate." I complimented as I uprooted myself and walked around towards the open kitchen. Like the furniture, she'd gone with earth tones for the cabinets and countertops. There was beautiful brown countertop breakfast bar with three chocolate wicker high chairs.

The appliances looked just as new as everything else—barely used as far as I could tell. _Stainless steel, top of the line… holy crap I died and went to heaven._

Mr. Denali sent Charlie and I bare fotos of the place, having only finished putting in the furniture a few days before. He'd gone back to Forks because his shipping business couldn't afford him to be gone longer than the week he'd spent in New York. I felt very guilty I'd gone to Los Angeles and not helped Kate out with the moving.

We'd come to an agreement where she would rent out the other two rooms, one being mine with utilities included. Mr. Denali bought the place outright so there was no middleman to deal with. Kate let me know her dad would decorate the place but I could put my own personal touches to what would be my room.

Kate would get the master bedroom with en suite bathroom and I would share the main bathroom with the other roommate. Having shared my bathroom with Edward at the Cullens and Charlie at Tulip Drive I didn't really care.

Charlie and Mr. Denali had both agreed the third roommate had to be a girl. I agreed wholeheartedly and I noticed Kate shrug noncommittally. I could tell she wouldn't have minded living with a guy. She wanted me to be present in the interviews, which we had three scheduled already starting in four days.

"Come on Bella, let me show you the 'back of the house'." She winked surprising me with her use of restaurateur terms. I chuckled and followed her into the darkened hallway. "We just finished painting the main bathroom yesterday." She told us as soon as the faint smell of paint greeted us. She opened the door closest to us, I looked in.

The bathroom was a matching earth green with white porcelain sink and toilet. Brown fluffy towels hung on the frosted shower door in front of us. After telling her I liked the color scheme she showed me the linen closet next to the bathroom door.

The hallway curved and opened up to three doors. One on each wall and the third up front, "that's my room." She pointed to it, "and these are the other two. Take a look so you can take your pick."

The room on the right was slightly larger than my childhood bedroom but smaller than my room at the Cullens. Kate told me she left the room white. "Dad and I figured we would leave them bare until you and the other girl choose the color scheme of your rooms."

"Wow, that's very sweet of you." Charlie noted, I could tell by his tone he liked the Denalis' thoughtfulness. _Wow that's a sentence I never thought I'd string together._

It faced east, and the window showcased the bucolic town of Hyde Park. I was a morning person so the thought of the sunlight waking me didn't bother me but I was so used to the sunset I decided to choose after seeing the other room. I noticed the carpet was an off-white almost light brown carpet and found this different since I was used to darker colors because of Esme.

The other room was bigger than the first room, and had two huge windows facing the west. I got a different vantage point of the small town park I'd seen in the living room and immediately decided I wanted this room. I felt somewhat guilty the other girl would get the smallest room, pushing the thoughts aside we began planning.

"Let's go to the Home Depot and get to painting this bad boy ASAP." Charlie told me trying to hide the slight sadness in his voice.

I'd decided to keep to the general tone of the apartment and painted the room a muted butter yellow with the help of Charlie and Kate. We bought white and mint green bedding with matching green curtains. My bed, desk and side tables still needed to be delivered so we weren't done just yet. I would later spray paint the wood of each piece an off-white color to match the room.

"Are you sure you don't want to get a car?" Charlie asked me as we got into Kate's white beemer. "I'm sure Dad. Like most college towns, the campus wasn't very far from the town which was equipped with great public transportation both public and a reliable taxi service. This meant I didn't need a car right away but I still planned to drive myself eventually.

I'd decided to leave my red truck back in Forks because I didn't trust the maintenance to anyone but Jake even though he annoyed the hell out of me. "I'm glad." Edward said to me when I told him this.

"Why?"

"Because that bitch would probably want to move to Hyde Park saying they have a great mechanic program in the town's community college just to be near you."

"Edward!"

"What? It's true."

"You sound like a child. And for your information, he's not as aggressive with his intentions as before."

"A truthful child. Oh really?"

"A _jealous_ child. Yes, he can barely look at me in the face."

"A truthful, _jealous_, unapologetic child; hmm… wonder why."

I grinned to myself sighing at the memory even though his tone towards Jacob's iciness had piqued my interest. _Eh. I was probably imagining things_.

He would come and visit with his family sans Emmett who'd gone back to work full time, before going to the city and moving Alice into an off-campus apartment in Chelsea. The day we painted my bedroom, Alice and Rose spent it in Seattle with their mothers—all of them on an interior design high.

"I think I want to do this for the rest of my life." Rose told me over the phone as I settled into my motel bed. Since my bed and desk wouldn't be delivered until the next day, Charlie and I stayed the night in neighboring rooms. "Really?" Rose knew she wanted to be in fashion and design but she hadn't pegged a specific career out of the general pool saying she would once she got to Parsons.

"Alice can be the stylist of the group but I'll decorate our houses. You can feed us."

"Oh thank you, dahling I do appreciate the scraps." I told her in my best Golden Hollywood voice. "Of course, of course mah dear! I beg you not to fuck the doctor so bad that he can't perform outside the bedroom!"

"Fuck you."

"Only if you're Emmett Cullen."

"Do you pick a daisy every day?" Asked her half-joking, half-serious, "one day you're hot for him, another you don't give a shit."

"I don't know," I could feel her shrug on the other line, "I guess you're right. I like the guy I'm not going to lie, but I'm not going to mope for him like some desperate loser drawing hearts all over his yearbook photo." The tone on her voice told me she'd done just that.

"You have his yearbook?!"

"Shut up."

"Holy shit Rose!"

"I did it _once _ok?! I was thirteen for fuck's sake!" I laughed noiselessly because I knew she would hold it against me if I guffawed, and I so wanted to guffaw. "How did you get his yearbook?"

"It wasn't his personal yearbook bitch. I paid someone off to buy me one." She told me defensively. "You weirdo!"

"At least I didn't rub myself all over it!"

"Please tell me you didn't!"

"Maybe."

"Rose!" I sat up, unbelievingly, "please tell me aliens abducted you or some other crazy but realistic tale."

"I was hot _if you know what I mean_ and it was one of the nights I was depressed and drank a little too much of Daddy's single malt and well… I was _hot_!"

"How old were you?" I smacked myself in my forehead, shaking my head. "Sixteen and desperate."

"Jeez."

"I know."

"You have it bad huh?"

"Like you said, some days yes, some days no."

"And today you do?"

"Yeah." She answered wistfully, "anyway tell me about your interview on Friday."

"Oh god," I became nervous and took a deep breath, "it's for a small bistro in the center of town. It's one of those 'well-known secrets' at CIA. You know the type where everyone acts as if it's this unpopular place yet totally mainstream."

"It's a good thing you'll get paid too." She mused, "do you know who's interviewing you?"

"The head chef. It's one of the five locales owned by the institute and it's student-operated. Kate is going to interview for hostess as part of her prerequisites too. There's a huge list but she managed to get us at the front of the line."

"How?" Nosey Rosie asked, I laughed because I could tell she was still deciding on Kate, "all she said was that she knows someone already in and pulled some strings."

"Sounds like she blew someone."

"Rose!"

"You never know, babe. I don't judge her; I'm just saying that if I had to put my money on lewd possibilities, I would put it on 'blow job' to say the least."

"I doubt it." It was my turn to be defensive, "but anyway it's called Bistro Alexandria, and it's a few blocks away."

"Hope you get it, Bells."

"Thanks, I do too. I need it." After telling her I missed her we said our goodbyes and I quickly called Edward who was still in Forks. It was eight in the west coast so I knew Esme wouldn't mind. I giggled thinking about the shoe being on the other foot as far as time zones when Edward himself answered, "Cullen residence, where the rebellious thrive." He sounded upset making _me _upset.

"What's the matter Oh Rebellious One?"

"Bella?" His tone brightened.

"The one and only." I smirked, feeling my heart flutter once. I sighed, "you forgot me already." I mocked.

"You know how I greeted you with 'where the rebellious thrive'?"

"Yeah?"

"Well the thing is that I miss you so much even though you've only been gone two days that I mentioned to Mom getting your name tattooed on the inside of my forearm in Palace Script."

"You're nuts!" I laughed out loud; part of me was flattered, the other was terrified. He was insane enough to do it. "For you." He whispered, sounding far away.

"Edward as much as I appreciate the gesture, no. Please don't."

"You and Mom think alike." He groused.

"You're not some gangster from the bad side of fucking _Forks_ that needs to prove his lady bitch how much he fake loves her as he rams into a hoe in the back of the KFC!"

"You've thought about this baby?" His voice was teasing with a hint of something else, "is this a fantasy of yours? To be fucked by a gangbanger? I could totally gangbang you baby. Just say the word."

I gasped, images of the scene played out in my mind. An over-tatted Edward giving it to me in the middle of the night up against the KFC in 'the bad side' of Forks past Hamilton Street.

"You're so dumb." I hoped my voice sounded serious but it came out all breathy at the end. _Fuck, I guess I did want that if it meant Edward was the one 'gangbanging' me._ "Anyway, isn't a gangbang more than three people?"

"Oh?" He sounded amused, "you know this?"

"Maybe." I blushed, I'd smuggled two random tapes from Emmett's porn collection the night of my goodbye dinner at the Cullens and watched them when Charlie had been called in the middle of the night because the DeMarcos were having a domestic dispute. The boys at the station didn't know how to handle it since this was the first time anything like that had happened in recent history in the boring town of Forks. _How they got their badges is a mystery to me._

I was horny and had a lot of pent up energy. Tape _C_ was lesbian porn, I was going to stop it but then morbid curiosity beat me to it and ended up watching the whole thing. It didn't do much for me but now I understood the real mechanics behind it.

Tape _F _was a gangbang. The same woman from Tape _A_ was being taken up by three guys; a redhead, a brunette and a dark skinned raven-haired man.

"You watched Tape _F_ didn't you?" Edward accused in a low tone, I remembered then that he was in the living room and I froze thinking of the possibilities of someone listening to our talk of gangbanging and chicken joints.

"Where's everyone?"

"Kitchen. Jasper is showing Mom how to make a proper red velvet cake even though I prefer yours."

"Thanks." I blushed, looking at my hands, "are you sure no one's with you?"

"Nope, we're safe for now."

"Yes I did watch Tape _F._ I'm surprised you memorized the collection." He cleared his throat nervously, "yeah well Emmett gave me those tapes and they were kind of like a bible to me." I laughed again, "I'm not disgusted by that. Why is that?" I asked rhetorically.

"Because every boy does that and because it turns you on."

"It does?"

"Oh yeah baby, you know you find the image of me getting off, hot." As if having a remote control to my body, I squirmed as he said that. "I need to show you Tape _B_, _M_ and a non-member of _Emmett's_ collection—_S_. These three are my personal favorites." He said thickly.

"You have tapes that aren't part of Emmett's collection?" He chuckled but didn't outright answer my question; before I could ask him to clarify he changed the subject, "how's the move going?"

"Well, the bedroom I chose is great! We're half way through." I informed him.

"Are you nervous about your interview?" I felt an obvious sense of déjà vu since Rose had just asked me the same question fifteen minutes before but I answered him just the same, "a little but I have a feeling I'm going to charm the pants off of him."

"Wrong words baby." He growled.

I smirked to myself, "jealous again?"

"Cautious."

"I love you." I cooed trying to remind him I was kidding and my attention was solely his.

"I love you too but keep that kind of charm for me and me only Bella." He sounded placated but I was enjoying it too much to let go just yet. I got comfortable in my bed and looked at the ceiling imagining it was his face. "Baby," I crooned, "do you really think I have that power over any one else?"

"You'd be surprised." He gritted.

I continued to play innocent, "are you serious? I doubt anyone else wants to see me naked."

"Bella stop being naughty or I'm going to have to do something about it next time I see you." His words went straight to my core, chilling me in the most delicious way. I licked my lips and continued on, "really Edward. Who'd want to see me naked?"

"Bella."

"I mean besides you of course but then again you won't touch me until September."

"Bella." He drew out my name between his teeth. _If only he had my clit between them doing the same thing._ I wished scandalously feeling myself get wet with the turn of our conversation.

"I mean really, Edward. I practically throw myself at you and you tell me no. Who the fuck is going to say yes to little old me?" I knew I was pushing him to the edge but I got a disgustingly delicious thrill out of it. "Maybe I should ask the next guy I see if he'd do me."

"Fuck it." He growled, "Bella_ Mine_ Swan, I suggest you not find yourself alone with me when I see you in July."

_Oh._ I couldn't help cheering in my head, "why?"

"You better be touching yourself tonight and every night from now imagining what I might do to you if you don't hide from me." His voice was low and calculating. "What if I don't do what you tell me to?" I challenged feeling brave and slightly annoyed he was telling me what to do. Even though I would.

"We'll see then, love. We'll see." His voice changed in a beat, "I love you and I'll pass on your greetings to the family. Good luck with the interview baby; you are amazingly talented and charming as fuck even if I want that to myself. Don't forget what I told you." I heard voices in the background and automatically realized the family had moved into the living room. "I love you." He told me again, this time cleanly.

"I love you Edward, and you better rub a few out tonight too." I told him, "I'm wet and horny and I wish you were here punishing me for being a bad girl." I heard him inhale sharply before hanging up. _Put that in your pipe and smoke it._

~.~.~.

Bistro Alexandria was on the corner of Roosevelt and Elliot, surrounded by little storefronts, a café on the south end of the street and a few apartment buildings. Kate was nice enough to drop me off, promising to pick me up in two hours.

Charlie had decided to check out the Franklin Roosevelt House, once FDR's home—now a national historic site while I was being interviewed.

I pulled on my simple navy blue A-line dress and then on the sleeves of my white three-quarter thin cardigan. I finished my interview look with black ballet flats that I knew Alice would have squirmed at but would have also deemed them appropriate. My hair was down and in small waves, I thought of what Rose would do and I knew she would tell me to put a little bit of makeup just to finish everything off.

The bistro had quaint tables outside with large khaki restaurant umbrellas over each one with the café's insignia—the letters _B_ and _A_ overlapping in Palace Script.

I laughed loudly at the sight. Thankfully, there wasn't really anyone outside to hear and peg me as a crazy person. Well, that's what I thought.

"Am I so out of the current comic trends that I don't find outdoor seating funny?" A clear tenor voice asked behind me. Totally embarrassed and surprised I turned around to face a handsome brunette guy with hazel eyes and a well-enough defined jaw. I thought of Edward's sharp one and determined this guy's wasn't as nice.

"Uh… what?" I asked dumbly.

"You laughed while looking at the tables." He pointed his index finger as a form of explanation, looking at me. "Either it's one of those weird _SNL_ jokes or you're nuts."

I felt my blush deepen, "inside joke." I squeaked. I nodded in understanding. "I see." He grinned, "I'm Riley Biers, Non-Nutso." He extended his hand lightheartedly.

I bristled taking his hand and shaking it hard, "Bella Swan, Nutso Extraordinaire." He was a few inches taller than me and from what I assumed, a few years older too. He laughed easily, but then looked at me curiously, "did you say Bella Swan?"

"Yes."

"I know about you." He pointed his index finger at me and wondered if he had an unknown condition where one was forced to point at things without against one's own will. I'm sure they would name it _Soft Jaw-Finger Force Syndrome._ _I'll ask Edward._

"I didn't realize my non-reputation exceeded me all the way across the country." I deadpanned but I was kind of freaked out, _how the fuck did this guy know about me?_

"It doesn't." He said, "I don't know you from Eve but my roommate knows Kate, _your_ roommate." _Oh._

"Oh." I nodded once feeling relieved and slightly annoyed by his tone. "That's cool I guess."

"Come on. Alec is the head chef here and he's been prepping for dinner service." He put his hand on the small of my back as he lead me from the cobbled street onto the smooth pavement and then into the beautiful colonial style bistro. There were a few patrons enjoying a late lunch.

The floor was polished dark wood, with dark gray walls and wooden panels in every other wall. Large portraits of bright poppies, morning glories and Brown Susans hung between the wood panels. There was a small bar on left, with a large assortment of bottles the patrons could choose from. Martini glasses hung overhead and upside down.

Even though it was just about two o'clock in the afternoon and a beautiful clear day, the bistro was dark with small flower pendant lighting lit every table giving the only kind of real lighting inside. The golden hue of the lights bounced off the wood beautifully.

It was dark enough where you felt cozy and taken care of but muted enough where you could see around you. There was a bored brunette hostess filing her nails.

"Gianna how many times do I have to tell you to not file your nails anywhere near the restaurant?" Riley asked her in a hushed tone as he neared the podium. Gianna looked up, disinterested. "This would be your one hundred millionth time."

"Right." He answered curtly.

"Too bad you're not anywhere dropping dead." I gasped. _Who the fuck said that to who was apparently their boss? No wonder they were looking for a replacement._

"God, I hope the grad school that accepted you gets their accreditation revoked before you receive your degree."

"Hardy har har." Gianna answered back dryly before noticing me. "Who's the chubby behind you? _Please_ don't tell me _she's_ going to be my replacement because really Riley-" My mouth dropped to the floor.

"Shut the fuck up Gianna," Riley leaned forward trying to look menacing but not too much because of the few patrons. I doubted they were paying attention. They looked his age and too engrossed in their own conversations to care.

"Do you really want another write up? Please give me a reason to fire your dented ass because that would be the best graduation present anyone could ever give me."

I wanted to say something but I felt Riley wouldn't have accepted that and as much as the bile was burning my throat and mouth, I needed this job not only to begin a nest egg but it was a prerequisite for the institute. _Fuck._

"I apologize." Gianna told me stiffly, not bothering to look at me but rather threw daggers at Riley.

"I'm watching you." He warned her before turning on his heel and telling me to follow him. I looked at Gianna hoping my glare was harsh enough where she could hear my thoughts. _Fuck you bitch and if we were outside with no ties to this place I would be totally drawing blood as I pound your ugly mug on the historic pebbled streets of this illustrious city._

"Please ignore her," Riley told me as he led me into a small hallway off the floor. I assumed the kitchen was on the other side of the restaurant because I didn't hear yelling, cutting or enticing smells. Instead I smelled the faint aroma of day-old coffee and paper.

There were two wood doors adjacent to each other, "this is my office, when I'm not here Rina is." He pointed to the one of the right. "And this is Alec's, he's looking over produce paperwork; but you'll usually find him in the kitchen if he's not on campus." He pointed to the left. "Marcus is the sous chef and in charge when Alec isn't here."

I became nervous again, forgetting Gianna and everyone else. Riley knocked twice before a man told him to come in on the other side.

Riley opened the door, "Bella's here."

"Oh great. Tell her to come in." I breathed a sigh of relief, he didn't sound so harsh. Riley turned to me giving me a huge smile, "we've heard nothing but good things from Kate about you and I'm sure she's right. But this is how it goes." He looked at me apologetically.

I didn't understand why he was telling me this. _Did he expect me to believe I had some kind of right to get in sight unseen? Really?_

"Anyway, it was nice meeting you Bella." He extended his hand out to me as a form of departure, "welcome to CIA and Bistro Alexandria. Hope to see you around campus." I shook his hand before he walked off not giving me a chance to thank him for showing me the way.

I turned back to the door, standing ajar. I took a deep, cleansing breath. I needed to hit this out of the park and begin my college career on my right foot. _Confidence, confidence, confidence._

Edward's voice rang in my ears, '_you are amazingly talented and charming as fuck…'_

I grinned and walked in with squared shoulders and a bright smile.

* * *

**I know there wasn't much of E/B but this chapter served to set up the next phase in Bella's life. For those of you waiting, the V-Card exchange will happen _sooner_ rather than later ;)  
**

**Who's excited to see _The Host?_ I'll be honest, I read like fifteen chapters of the book when I was eighteen and I liked it but I haven't opened the book since then. It's there in my bookcase and I'm trying to find the inspiration to finish it but then I might just go see the movie hahaha we'll see. **

**If you want to see the inspiration for the girls' apartment go to my blog at ilithyae dot blogspot dot com. Have a great week everyone!**

_**04.04.13. Some of you already know that I'm putting this story on temporary hiatus because I was accepted by Project Team Beta. The fabulous ladies/gents over there are currently working with me with fixing this hot mess of a story. Not plotwise- much, but most grammatical stuff, you know? I hope to make this quick but not too quick where I rush everything. I love all of you and I hope to see you on the other side. Ilithya.**_


	29. Shots

**Hi! Did you miss me? I missed you! The self-imposed hiatus did not work whatsoever so I'm going to be sending the earlier updates to Project Team Beta while I update in real time.**

**Sorry about that and you should thank lil hummingbird, Sam and BethanyKn0x for making me see the light!** **Thank you to everyone who added me on Twitter, you guys seriously rock! (If you added me on Twitter than you've probably already read part of this chapter.)**

**Thank you to lola92 and livelovelaugh91 for literally reviewing every single chapter (are you all early 90s kids like me?)**

** BelieverALEX and melissamary55 for sticking with me since the very beginning- THANK YOU!**

**Thank you silvaren for your sweet words, you have no idea how much I appreciate them! Same goes for everyone of you, if I missed you sorry! But you're included too :)**

**Btw, I've never really given you a visual on my Bella's body so if you want to see it go to my blog where I've posted a photo of who I believe shares her silhouette.**

**I've already told you this but HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIL HUMMINGBIRD! (her birthday as yesterday.)**

**I'm ashamed to admit that I've had most of the drinks mentioned in the title song... nah not ashamed at all. Okay maybe a little. **

* * *

LMFAO ft. Lil Jon-_ Shots_

* * *

_2004._

My alarm went off letting Ciara tell me about her 'goodies'. I hit the _Snooze_ button not bothering to unpeel my face from my soft pillow. I heard Kate's footsteps outside of my door as she made her way into the main part of the apartment.

She knocked lightly. I groaned again knowing she heard my alarm go off and expected me to be up. "Come in."

She popped her head in, "hey, you up?"

"I hate Alec." I groaned as answer. Thinking about last night's busy lunch and dinner service and hating the fact that our new menu was attracting so many people. I was happy for the restaurant but not at that moment.

My hands hurt from slicing, dicing, mincing, cleaning, stirring, flipping, whisking and my leg muscles ached from running, squatting, bending, extending, lifting and all around straining.

"And I Riley, but you see me up and moving."

"Go away."

"Get up, B!" She laughed leaning on the doorjamb, "we need to go to the grocery store to stock up for the Cullens, 'member? Fucking Jessica ate half the pantry in less than a week." She growled.

I ignored her quip about our annoying, roommate and focused on "the Cullens" part. I rushed out of my bed to get clean clothes. I'd completely forgotten that Edward and his family were stopping on their way to New York City to check out my new place. The last few weeks had been spent on settling in and making the rooms livable.

In between researching CIA and possible classes, Kate and I had been accepted at Bistro Alexandria. I'd gone in expecting to interview for the dishwasher position but I mentioned I had a sturdy baking menu and he'd asked me to make a few things. "Show me what you've got," he'd told me when he led me into the bustling kitchen.

The first thing I noticed is that they all wore the same long-sleeved double-breasted chef's jacket in khaki with a green neckerchief while Alec wore his in black with a red neckerchief. I guessed it was to show off his status as head chef.

The student-comprised staff gave me a side-glance and went on prepping for that day's dinner service. Apparently they'd been behind and were scrambling to catch up, it made me doubt Alec's abilities as head chef. The bistro focused in redefining American cuisine—whatever that meant, and once my eyes laid on a crate of fresh blueberries I knew I could make something out of that.

I asked one of the assistant bakers who had been applying eggwash onto perfectly cut turnovers ready to be put away until dinnertime. She dismissed me by telling me to use whatever I wanted as long as I didn't worry her. I thanked her not bothering to let that get to me and scourged for what I needed.

Remembering that Jasper loved my strawberry tartlets, and having puff pastry at arm's length I quickly made three. One for show, one for taste and one as insurance in case something happened to the other two.

Alec asked me simple questions, like where I learned to make tartlets, who'd taught me to bake, how did I know I wanted to be a pastry chef? Usual interview questions with a baker's twist to them. I'd answered being honest but remembering that even though we'd moved on the kitchen, I was still vying for a spot in the very place.

The tartlets came out well and Alec asked Riley to try the third for a second opinion. Riley raved about the pastries and commented Alec needed to hire me. I let a relieved sigh go but I didn't want to get my hopes up.

Riley seemed to be the general manager of _Bistro Alexandria_ and as far as I knew I would answer to Alec but I didn't see Riley in the same respect. His demeanor was friendlier and less detached from the rest of the crew.

"Where are you from Bella?" He asked me when we left the kitchen, Alec stayed behind to dispatch orders. There was a little inter-room between the dining room and the kitchen to keep the noise of the kitchen as far away from it as possible.

"Washington." I answered as he led me back into the office. "You?"

"Upstate."

"You're close to home then." I smiled feeling a little jealous; he chuckled but didn't give me a real answer.

He excused himself and I sat in Alec's tiny, off-white office that only consisted of a two filing cabinets that looked like they belonged in the forties, an old desk whose top you could barely make out because of the random loose leaf paperwork that was scattered all around it and a single chair haphazardly placed in front.

The phone that stood at the edge of the desk that was also covered in paperwork, began to ring. I looked at the door wanting Alec to come back so he could answer it. Sitting down and letting it ring off the hook, I thought about calling Edward and telling him about the crazy afternoon I was having.

Okay so it wasn't crazy. More like random.

I'd only ever been on two work-related interviews in my life: one for the Smart & Final in Port Angeles that I didn't get and the other for Newton's Outfitters that I did. They'd been by-the-book interviews where I'd sat across either Linda—a bucktooth, beady-eyed supervisor and a-once handsome Mr. Newton answering questions about myself and why I wanted to work in their fine establishments.

I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. This was 'the real world' and college, this isn't even out of the ordinary! I chastised myself.

That's when I had one of those weird 'I'm-actually-here' moments. I'd said goodbye to everyone that mattered to me in Forks in a half-assed way because I knew I would see them again.

Take Charlie who would come with me for a week and the Cullens who would visit in a month.

I didn't have many close friends at school and I'd already said 'have fun in college, take care!' goodbyes during graduation and thereafter so the usual pang of sadness and nostalgia hadn't hit me like Victoria's or Jane's. They'd both had nervous breakdowns after realizing they were really leaving home even though they were only going to UDub and would only be a few hours' drive away.

I looked around me feeling odd and out-of-place, _as soon as Charlie goes home and then the Cullens next month I'm going to be by myself for the greater part of four years. Holy crap._

"Sorry about that Bella." Alec entered the room looking distracted and shaking his head. "It's Marcus' day off and I've been dealing with the restaurant's produce distributors." He sat down on his office chair, the only office furniture not looking over ten years old.

"It's okay Mr. Knox I don't mind." I told him easily and sitting up straight. He shuffled some paperwork in front of him, making me wonder if my resume was somewhere in that mass of sheets.

"I still need to interview four other people today but I don't have the time and quite frankly I think you're not right for the position of _plongeur_." I tried to save myself from the disappointment and heartbreak and mask it with unaffected neutrality before he went on, "we need a kitchen's assistant and I think you could do it."

I blinked twice, my mind tried to catch up to his words.

"If you work at it," he steepled his long fingers a la Mr. Burns, "you can move up the chain. Your tartlets were delicious and I hope to add them to my menu one day. Alistair is the _pâtissier_ and therefore his opinion would be weighed too but we have plenty of time to show him your skills."

"I-I'm sorry," I blinked rapidly, my mood going from deep blue to bright yellow with flares of red. "Are you asking me to stay?"

He gave me a look, "that's exactly what I'm saying Bella. Do you accept?"

"Yes!" I stood up starling him, my hand shot out for him to take, "thank you so much sir, I mean it. Wow." He took my hand as he stood up and I shook it firmly. He smirked shaking it with me before we let go. "You won't regret this."

"I'm sure I won't." He laughed and went on to explain to me my responsibilities in the kitchen, my schedule and my wages. "Because it's an externship you have to notify Admissions and Records so you can receive credit towards your prerequisites. You'll be paid but as you probably already know it's not something to brag about. Especially since it's to help you with your classes and gain experience in a real kitchen and not necessarily a 'real' job; even though we expect nothing but the utmost respect and work as a five-star establishment."

"Right." I nodded feeling nothing but elation. _Edward, Esme and Charlie are going to be psyched!_ I thought as I continued to listen to Alec.

"Come back in two days to fill out your paperwork, meanwhile study up on the _brigade de cuisine_. We follow CIA's curriculum and we're expected to follow the French titles, duties and expectations."

"Okay." I nodded and felt nothing but excitement to get home and ask Kate to take me to the library and get started on my homework.

"I'll walk you to the floor," he allowed me to walk out, I noticed my gait had turned more of a confident strut. We walked a few feet stopping at the mouth of the hallway into the dining room where there was only one couple visible from where I stood.

Alec looked at them, his mind obviously thinking. "We need to spice up the menu- most of the students went home for the summer but there are a few that stayed back."

"You want to rework the menu?"

"Yes. We usually do anyway." He folded his arms over his chest, "we add a few seasonal items but I don't know. I want to do an overhaul. Paul Mercer is the head chef at _Patriot Adam's_, our direct competition among the CIA restaurants. Their cuisine is New England-based whereas ours is general- we don't have a regional palate. Know what I mean?" He looked at me not as a commentator but as my boss.

I nodded knowing exactly what he meant and felt the weight of his dark brown stare.

"Where's Riley?" He asked himself, looking around when he looked away from me. I turned to the now-empty hostess podium and didn't offer an opinion thinking Gianna had something to do with it.

"You called?" Riley asked as he opened his door looking annoyed.

"What's up with you?"

"Gianna's gone. I warned her one too many times and she didn't listen." He walked up to us, looking at Alec as a challenge. Alec didn't answer right away and shrugged. There was an undercurrent in the simple exchange that I obviously wasn't part of hence keeping my mouth shut.

"Okay Bella," Alec extended his hand to me one last time, "see you."

"Thanks again, Chef." I said feeling my heart flutter at the sound of that word come out of my lips. It would the first of millions I would say.

"So?" Riley asked me as soon as Alec closed his office door behind me. I gave him a small, proud smile.

"I didn't get the job of dishwasher but I did get the job of kitchen assistant."

Riley gave out a bark of a laugh and clapped his hands once. "Great!" I grinned in thanks, "stay for dinner to celebrate."

"As tempting as that sounds, I can't." I shook my head thinking of Charlie and Kate and a phone call to Edward. "My dad is expecting me."

"Oh." Riley gave me a tight-lipped smile, "another time then."

I laughed, "after getting the job? You bet." I said goodbye to him and thanked him for his hospitality, "that's my major isn't it?" He'd answered me when I told him.

I'd told Kate about Riley's and Alec's attention and she commented how she believed Alec was a good guy but quiet and authoritative but her comments towards Riley irked me.

"I think he has a crush on you."

"He does not."

"Yeah he does, he asked you to stay for dinner."

"Don't be ridiculous, he was just being friendly."

"Don't blind yourself Bella."

Her words reminded me of Edward's comments when we'd talked over our lover's tiff in Los Angeles annoying me even further.

I called Edward when Kate drove me home and noticed Charlie was still out. Edward was beyond ecstatic telling me how proud he was of me and how he knew it all along. I grinned from ear to ear at his praise, getting used to taking it without rebuff.

Charlie's reaction was similar to Edward's and he took Kate and I out to dinner— _Patriot Adam's_ no less even though I felt like a traitor for eating at a rivaling eatery. Charlie heard great things about the place during his tour of FDR's house and wanted to try it out.

Knowing he would only be with me for a few days I didn't put up much of an argument. I hated to admit it but their Maine lobster salad was pretty good, Kate enjoyed her Chicken Cordon Blue and Charlie couldn't get over their baked Atlantic salmon and their choice of premium lager on tap.

Smiling at the memory of Charlie actually letting loose and drinking two large beers made me smile. Glossing over our tearful goodbye I scrambled for clothes. I remembered a promise I made to a certain pixie and looked for the article of clothing.

Another A-line dress in pink, it had a scoop neckline with capped sleeves and gold side zippers under the arm openings. The skirt hit my knees, flaring out and 'showing off' my figure. I'd promised Alice I would wear it for her visit and I planned to follow through even though it was a little out of my comfort zone.

I only wore dresses when I had to, like my interview at _BA_.

"You're wearing that today?" Kate asked over my shoulder.

"Yeah," I exhaled darkly, staring at it like it wronged me in some way. Kate chuckled behind me coming to touch it, "it's sexy."

"Think so?" I asked looking at it and not really seeing it.

"Not when it's hanging on a hanger. But you can tell its body-hugging and with your figure? Hell yeah it's bound to be sexy." She patted my shoulder and allowed me to get ready in private. I glanced at my now-closed door mulling over her words.

Everyone told me I had a 'great' figure, rack and ass. I looked at myself in the mirror and I just saw 'chubby' but hearing Kate say it made it different. It was almost as if I'd never believed my friends and family _because_ they were my friends and family and they were just saying it to make me feel better.

But Kate, although I considered her a friend now, was an 'outsider,' someone who had no real desire to hide the 'truth' from me and spare my feelings.

I looked my full-length mirror that I'd nailed to my closet door and stared at myself wearing my white pajamas with hot pink and dark grey pokadots. They were loose but my figure wasn't really lost. I tightened the shirt behind me and noticed the curves that apparently everyone saw.

_Okay. So I'm not as fat as I thought_.

I'd never really studied myself in front of the mirror. I would glance at it not really wanting to see myself but this time was different. I actually stared at myself and noticed the concave slope that created my silhouette.

Humming slightly I turned my upper body at angle and stared at my chest. Okay so they're not saggy like I thought_. Kinda perky._

I turned my body in the opposite angle and noticed the same thing. I felt the confidence budding inside but didn't let it take over into full arrogance.

I turned and looked at my back and ass pulling on the shirt in front like I had behind.

The love handles I used to have, weren't as prominent as they had been before. _Did they melt away?_ I asked myself running my open hand down my back. "What the hell?" I said out loud, "where did they go?"

"Bella hurry the fuck up!" Kate called out to me, probably getting impatient with me. The reason for her impatience and destination came back to me. _Edward!_ I jumped in the shower hissing at the cold water knowing Kate and Jessica had used up the hot water.

I was the early bird of the house and was not used to it but then again, I would get dibs the next day.

~.~.~.

"Who are they exactly?" Jessica Stanley asked me picking at the small bowl of fruit on our breakfast bar as I moved around the kitchen. Esme called and told me the family arrived safely at Stewart International Airport in Newbough, twenty miles away. Considering traffic their cab would arrive in less than a little over half an hour. _Okay don't panic._

"Family friends." I answered Jess, annoying me more than usual. She'd been living with us for a month and had heard of them plenty of times, the cynic in me doubted her honesty in not knowing who I was expecting. "You've heard me talk about them all the time. They've called asking for me more than once." I chopped some lettuce for the simple salad I would serve with the penne pasta in tomato sauce I would serve for lunch.

Under Alec and Alistair, my technique had improved exponentially. Not that I didn't know how to hold a knife before but now I held it with precision and expertise. I was nowhere near the restaurant's _poissonnier_, Bryce Pierce also known as The Woodpecker because of how fast he was with a blade.

"His name sounds like he belongs in a British slash Victorian novel, hidden away in a dilapidated manor house wounded over the loss of his lover as he drinks himself into his oblivion." Alice commented over the phone when I recanted the first time I'd seen chop an onion.

I'd laughed at her verbose yet oddly realistic description of Bryce Pierce. "He certainly looks like he belongs in the pages of a Brontë novel."

"Heathcliff or Edward?"

"Edward. Definitely Edward." I grinned to myself replacing Bryce with my Edward in Alice's dramatization. She laughed at my comment, "you take Rochester and I'll take Heathcliff." She acted as if she didn't know where I was getting at.

"Nah," I answered her playing along, "I prefer Cullen."

_"Did I hear my name?"_ I heard the far away voice of the boy that made my heart flutter like a hummingbird. _"Go away Edward, you already spoke to her and slung maple syrup at her."_

I giggled into the receiver, blushing at Alice's outing of my previous conversation with her brother where he told me he loved me over and over again to see when I would get annoyed. I didn't.

"I prefer sugar to maple syrup, actually."

My blush deepened, biting my lip hard and wanting to kiss him that instant. It was our inside joke and I reveled in it. Alice obviously didn't get the joke, "you guys sicken me." She told me after she managed to shoo him away.

"No leeway with Jasper?" I asked for various reasons, but mainly to gauge where my little southern gentleman was at in his 'conquest.'

"He gave me a peach rose from Mom's garden out back."

"Oooh." I winced knowing of Alice's secret hatred for the flower. "Is that a dealbreaker?" I joked.

"No but I would have preferred a red rose."

"At least it wasn't yellow."

"Because it means 'get well'?"

"No because in some cultures it means 'friendship' and you don't want friendship from Mr. Whitlock do you?"

"Really? It means that?"

"I don't know." I shrugged over the phone as if Alice was there with me, "why don't you research it?"

She squealed, "I can look it over my new laptop!" I laughed rolling my eyes at her excitement. Alice had gotten the brilliant idea of getting herself a laptop so she could get an _America Online!_ account and screenname so she could stay in touch with everyone.

"Bella," Kate entered the main room across the kitchen as I finished my thought, "what are you making for lunch?"

"Penne pasta in a light tomato sauce with side salad."

Kate laughed like a teenage boy, "you're serving penne pasta to your boyfriend's parents?"

"Shut up Kate." I groused, "they don't speak Spanish and I hope to fucking god Alice, Rose and Edward keep their mouths shut."

"This is too funny." She chuckled, shaking her head and helping me stir the sauce over the flame.

"What's so funny?" Jess asked from her seat on the wicker chairs eating a banana.

I gave Kate a look and she laughed even harder, _the phallic symbols are everywhere today_. "_Pene_ with one _n_ is Spanish for dick," I answered her as she deep-throated the fruit looking at me as if her actions didn't resemble anything else. I grinned, "and it's pronounced the same."

"Oh." She nodded as she bit off half the banana. I winced, definitely one wouldn't do something like that. Not that I knew from personal experience but the pornos and general commentary from my more experienced acquaintances had hinted as much.

The doorbell rang making me forget about all kinds of phallic symbols and sprinted for the door. I swung the door open and was greeted by the Cullens, the Hales and Jasper.

Edward stood in front of everyone, smiling broadly as his eyes met mine. I squealed loudly jumping on him and he, thankfully, caught me. "You're here!"

He laughed stepping forward and spinning me around, "I missed you."

"I missed you too!" I slid down his body awkwardly but I ignored myself focusing solely on my boyfriend who stood right in front of me. _Not far, far away._ I grinned wider feeling his hardening muscles underneath his light blue sweater and white t-shirt.

He bent down, putting his hand on the side of my chin and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck clutching on for dear life. His woodsy, spicy scent filling my senses, his lips were soft yet forceful, sweet yet demanding.

I'd been away from Edward for longer periods of time but this time it felt different. This time I'd been the one to travel away from him instead of the other way around.

"I still find this weird." Alice commented off-handedly. We pulled away suddenly remembering we had a huge audience. I looked at his family and Rosalie's and then at my roommates. All of them except Alice and Rose stared with identical looks of shock and... pride?

"Oh shut up Alice." Edward said keeping his hands around my waist but turning his body towards his family.

"Sorry." I blushed a deep red and bit my lip. I felt Edward begin to run smoothing circles around my hip looking down at me with a small smirk; his green eyes danced and sparkled when I looked at him through my lashes.

"Edward let our Bella go so we can greet her properly and show us around." Esme chided as she made her way in with her arms extended to me.

After saying hello to everyone, Kate and I introduced them to Jessica and we ate lunch. I'd thankfully made more than enough as everyone found seats at the breakfast bar, the sofas, easy chairs and Dr. Cullen and Mr. Hale were gracious enough to sit on the floor at the foot of the sofa next to Edward and everyone else. Esme, Rose and Cathy sat at the breakfast bar, they were the only ones with traditional seats.

"I want to check the sights." Jasper announced after we finished cleaning up, "I read a bunch of brochures and I want to go to look around."

"I want to go too!" Alice piped up jumping up and down.

"We can take you around the town, there's great shopping around." Kate told her knowing how much Alice liked shopping. Ali watched for a second but then nodded, "okay!"

I looked over at Edward who'd been giving me looks ever since we pulled apart and I knew I looked at him the same way. We wanted to be alone.

My wet panties definitely wanted us to be alone.

"Mom, if it's okay with you I would rather stay with Bella so we can talk?" Edward told his mother who was asking Kate about Hyde Park.

"You want to talk?" She asked studying both our faces. I tried to keep the lust away from my face as we said yes.

"Okay, we won't be long though." She told us before everyone, meaning the women, got their handbags. Alice, Rose, Jasper, Jessica and Kate gave us bloated looks to which we just returned with neutrality. The adults told us to behave and left.

I noticed Kate lock the door from the inside as she walked out making me thank her silently.

I looked at my boyfriend who sat on the opposite side of my loveseat. He grinned patting the space next to him. I was sitting on the edge, scooting closer to him.

Edward grabbed my thigh and draped it over his own while simultaneously propping his elbow on the white sofa's edge. "Hey baby, nice to meet you." He said in a ridiculous Barry White voice, "I was hopin' you and I could get acquainted over a nice glass of orange juice."

I snickered slapping him playfully, "don't be stupid."

"Not an orange juice person?" He didn't drop the deep, stupid imitation. Instead he quirked his eyebrow and jutted his thick lower lip out, "let's go crazy then with a glass of Welch's finest grape juice."

"You are an idiot." I told him between laughs, he leaned forward, his chest touched mine.

"I bet grape juice will have you opening up those creamy legs of yours, baby doll."

"Edward!" I tried pulling away but he held on to me, pushing me into the sofa.

"Say it again, baby, say it again!" Déjà vu hit me; sudden memories of him requesting the same thing came back to me.

"Why do I feel like I'm reliving something?"

He shrugged speaking normally, "I like it when you groan my name."

"You mean moan?"

"No I mean groan."

"Groan sounds like a complaint."

"A sexy complaint." He wiggled his eyebrows and I slapped him lightly again, "I love it when you're rough." He pushed himself on me a little bit more, soon enough I could feel hardness near my inner-thigh.

"You like it rough baby?"

"You know it." He leaned forward and ran his nose down the length of my throat, making me exhale suddenly.

"Stop playing around Edward." I groaned, hoping he didn't think I was trying to be sexy. I wanted to hear the frustration in my voice instead.

"I'm not playing around," he countered as his hands traveled up my thighs. Even in jeans, his touch burned my skin in delicious ways.

"Yes you are," I grabbed his jaw and forced him to look at me. His green eyes met my brown ones. I flicked to his pouty lips and up again, swallowing in the process. He literally made my mouth water.

"Looks like you want to lick something." His sweet breath gently fanned my warm face. I couldn't help the slight shiver that ran through me at the sound of his natural, throaty voice. His bedroom voice.

"I want to lick you." I told him boldly trying to keep his gaze.

"Do it then." He encouraged me, his voice dropping ever so slightly.

"You want me to lick you?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I want you to mark me."

His words shook me. They literally shook me. I subconsciously clenched deep inside, eyes still glued to his viridian ones. I swallowed again, feeling my heartbeat quicken and my palms begin to feel clammy.

"You want me to… mark you?"

"Yes." His eyes flicked to my lips, lingering a bit. The flick of his red tongue caught my attention as it moistened those deep pink lips.

"Okay." I said going back to his eyes and inching towards his neck. He leaned back slightly, inhaling sharply as he waited for me to make contact with his taunt skin.

Another flashback came to me, this time it was when he stole my first kiss. A blurry fourteen-year-old Edward came to mind as his eyes closed coming at me in slow motion.

I flattened my tongue at the base of his throat and slowly made my way up. He grasped my arms tightly but I didn't complain nor pull away. Instead it fueled me further.

I'd licked Edward before but that had been out of pure lust and aggression after being misled by Tanya. It felt different the second time around.

Better. Powerful. _Mine._

I enjoyed the smooth skin under me, curving upwards once I reached his jaw. He hissed when I puckered my lips and added a little bit of suction to my progression. I got to his chin and pulled away because my tongue had dried out and I wanted to see his face.

He groaned in disappointment, his eyes closed and still holding on to me tightly.

I wet my tongue tasting him. It wasn't strawberries and crème but definitely Edward. I grinned at myself, proud at the fact that it took him a few seconds to open his eyes.

When he did, they were stormy and lust-lidded. I clenched again, biting my lip roughly.

"Do that-" _Buzz buzz!_

We looked at the front door in surprise, someone was ringing the bell. Edward looked at back at me questioningly. I shrugged answering his nonverbal question. His family was out enjoying the sights and FDR's house and had let us know they wouldn't be back 'til a few hours later.

"Maybe they're early." Edward read my mind and answered me.

"You think so?" I asked back, getting up once he got off me.

It was his turn to shrug, "maybe."

I made my way across the room and opened the door to find Garrett, Kate's possible-probably boyfriend and Riley. "Garrett? Riley? What are you doing here?"

Riley was the first to answer, "what a way to greet us, Bells." I blinked a few times not being able to get over the fact that he was wearing painted-over khaki cargo shorts, a ratty green _I Love New York _shirt and sandals. _Ok then…_

Garrett on the other hand wore light washed jeans, an old grey CIA threadbare shirt that showed off his nice pecs and white Chucks. He and Kate had met when she and Mr. Denali visited CIA, they stopped to ask him for directions and ended up with Kate's phone number.

She claimed Garrett was just a friend but I knew her hangouts with him were a little friendlier than normal.

"Bella?" Edward called out to me from behind, I turned to him over my shoulder somewhat forgetting he was there. He walked over watching the guys at the door, "who is it?" He asked me even though he was staring at my surprise visitors.

"Kate's… friend and the manager at_ Bistro Alexandria_." I told him, grinning slightly. Garrett smiled easily but Riley gawked at Edward.

"Hey." Edward waved awkwardly but not unfriendly, digging his left hand into his jean pocket.

"'sup dude?" Garrett smiled making me think of Emmett for a second.

"I'm Edward." He leaned forward and shook his hand, Garrett took it grinning broadly.

"I'm Garrett and this is my roommate Riley." He jutted his free thumb at Riley who watched Edward intently.

"Hey man." Edward turned to him and extended his hand, Riley took it after a beat making Edward cock his eyebrow in question. "What's up?"

"We came to see if the girls were free." Garrett told him looking at me. Edward turned to me questioningly. I could tell there was something hidden in his pleasant smile. I gave him a small smile and looked at Garrett.

"Sorry guys but the girls are out with Edward's family and he and I planned a night in." I explained.

"Are you together?" Riley asked lightheartedly.

"Very much so." Edward answered him, smirking.

"Yeah, unfortunately Edward is a lost puppy that tagged along and I haven't been able to shake him since childhood." I jabbed him lightly with my index finger.

He let out a deep laugh, throwing his head backwards, "you can say that babe but you know you love me."

I sighed dramatically, rolling my eyes at my visitors, "cocky bastard isn't he?"

"You would know." Edward returned my jab with his elbow before taking my hand lightly. I blushed looking away and not able to meet their eyes.

Garrett laughed and Riley chuckled after coughing slightly. "Too bad, we were going to tell you to join us in going over to_ Luke's_ and try out their new menu options. Apparently they're all the rage in the common rooms."

"_Luke's_ has new menu items?" I groaned.

"Yeah, a blue cheese Angus burger, a Swiss cheese avocado burger and a Jack Daniel's burger with onion rings instead of regular onions."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Yeah, it could be bad."

"Baby?" Edward looked at me in question, he didn't follow.

"_Luke's_ is another one of the five student-run restaurants in Hyde Park. They go for the sports bar vibe while _Bistro Alexandria_ goes for demi-formal American cuisine."

"Oh." He nodded slowly.

"The burgers sound great but are they any good?" I asked the guys once Edward answered me.

"I'm telling you the common rooms are buzzing." Riley told me, shaking his head in horror.

"Do they have new desserts too?" I wanted to know in case it meant trouble for our pastry team.

"Blueberry tartlets, chocolate cake with salted caramel sauce and raspberry and white chocolate cheesecake."

"Oh no." I groused covering my face, "Alistair is going to flip."

"Tell me about it." Garrett agreed, "didn't you make blueberry tartlets for Alec during your interview?"

"Yeah and they were superb." Riley agreed, his eyes glazing over in thought. I grinned remembering how Alec had forced him to try one of my tartlets during my impromptu kitchen visit and rise from possible dishwasher to _femme de cuisine_.

"That sounds kind of fishy." Edward commented, off-handed. I looked at him questioningly.

"What do you mean?"

"Isn't it weird that you make blueberry tartlets, succeed and then your competition adds it on to their menu?"

I scoffed, "you mean to say someone stole the idea?"

He shrugged noncommittally, "you never know. I'm just saying that it sounds fishy to me, baby."

"I doubt it." Riley commented, "we're all part of the same school; I mean where not in the middle of a restaurant Cold War of sorts."

"Dude," Edward looked at him pointedly, "I'm not saying you are. I'm just saying that I find it odd that my girlfriend bakes something amazing and then _bam!_ Your competition gets the same idea a month later."

"Blueberries are in season." I tell him, thinking he's watched too many spy movies.

"So are apples, cantaloupes and apricots." He told me turning around and walking over and flopping down on one of the black easy chairs. He moved over a throw pillow, leaning back and putting his palm behind his head.

I'm not going to lie. I was slightly impressed that he knew what fruits were in season. Edward talking about food facts was chef porn to me. I almost wanted to say "yeah baby, tell me more. What would you add to give consommé a little more body?" or "oh Edward, tell me again about kitchen utensils and their proper place in the cupboards and drawers."

Yeah I was weird.

"I doubt it." Riley laughed at Edward, suddenly my feathers were ruffled. I gave him a side-glance not making a comment but wishing he would leave me alone with my boyfriend, whom I was currently lusting over.

A part of me was already imagining ways of seducing him and actually succeeding.

"Whatever dude, First Amendment and all that crap," Edward told him, clearly losing his temper. I moved quickly to remove the visitors and salvage his deteriorating mood.

"Yeah well, sorry guys another time." I tried sounding apologetic and polite.

"Yeah Bella," Riley smiled tightly at me, "another time."

"Tell Kate I stopped by, okay?"

"Sure Garrett. Bye." I heard them give me their goodbyes as I closed the door on them. I turned to Edward, raising my eyebrow. He looked at me with his own tightly knit.

"Nice friends."

"Yeah."

"Are they gay? Because if they are I totally support them."

I gawked at him, "what the fuck?"

"Yeah Bella," he leaned forward, there was an edge to his voice but I doubted it had anything to do with Garrett's and Riley's nonexistent homosexuality. "I totally support the LGBT community, even though it's not the norm."

"Edward, Garrett and Riley are not gay." I half-laughed, half-chastised. "But I'm proud of you nonetheless." I grinned, admiring his open mind.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Damn."

He and I put my impromptu visitors aside and went back to where we were before we were rudely interrupted.

I expected Edward to forget about his fucking promise to Charlie but _noooo_ he kept it above the fucking waist.

Did I sound angry? I fucking was. Angry and fucking sexually frustrated.

I was begging for it and I didn't give a flying fuck.

Between our PG-13 making out, Jasper called the apartment two hours later telling us that Esme and Alice had decided to go to dress shopping two towns over after hearing about a great dressmaker.

"Hey Bella?"

"Yeah Jasper?"

"You're welcome darlin'."

"You did this on purpose?!"

He chuckled and told me they wouldn't be home until late only to drop off Kate and Jess and check into a motel for the night. "Carlisle expects Edward when we go back to Hyde Park."

"Okay." I told him I would relay the massage, thanked him one more time for being a sweetheart and hung up the phone.

_A stupid, horny, desperate, whorish plan beginning to form in my mind._

"That was Jasper." I told him as he looked at Kate's photographs. They were various shots around Forks and the La Push area all in black and white.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah." I wrapped my arms around his middle resting my chin on his arm since his shoulder was a little high for my chin.

"Your Mom wants to go to look for a dressmaker a thirty minute drive away and won't be back for the rest of the day. They'll drop Kate and Jess but your Dad wants you to go to the motel you're staying at."

He turned around and hugged me to him, I sighed contently. "So we have the day to ourselves?"

"Yes." I bit my lip hoping that meant something more.

"That's good." He whispered kissing my head tenderly. I loved Edward don't get me wrong, but I craved Pirate Edward like no fucking tomorrow.

I needed that sexy, demanding mountain lion to come back otherwise I would burst at the seams. _Where the fuck did this new me come from? Holy shit._

Biting my lip and the proverbial bullet I pulled away, "Kate and Jess have some drinks stashed away. Want one?" I asked innocently.

He cocked his eyebrow, "you drink?"

"No but the girls won't mind. We have an open door policy." I shrugged feeling myself buzz with anticipation and nerves. _I am a smooth criminal, yes I fucking am._

I guess I want to fuck hence the dramatic rise of my mental spew of 'fucks.'

Geez I really was nuts.

I'd gone down the deep end and there was no turning back. That was a lie, I could still pull the car in reverse and drive away from the cliff but right now I wanted to be Thelma and Louise but not literally.

Shaking my head and feeling the old sense of dread at my mental state I walked over to the laundry closet where Kate and Jessica stashed the alcohol. I gave Edward a knowing look as he chuckled obviously catching on.

Kate and Jess wouldn't run the risk of their parents coming unannounced and stumbling into the booze.

"Are you going to drink with me?" Edward asked his voice dropping slightly as I opened the small door and bent down to the floor. I pulled out two fluffy brown towels and grabbed the Patrón, the Smirnoff and Jack Daniels.

"Yes." I nodded deciding on the spot even though I hadn't thought of that.

"You sure?"

"It's not good for you to drink alone."

"I don't mind." He shrugged, "I've never done it but I don't want you to decide on it just because you're being polite."

"Edward-"

"If you're going to drink I want you to do it because you want to and not because I inadvertently forced you to."

"Ed-"

"I'll have one shot and that's it." He told me coming to help me with the bottles. "Tequila's easier for me to drink aside from JD but I'm kind of sick of it."

"Of the whiskey or the tequila?"

"The whiskey."

"Okay," I told him putting back the vodka and whiskey. "The tequila is Kate's; she loves margaritas." Edward laughed at this, "I know she does. She used to steal all of Tanya's Cuervo and do shots with some of the girls from the rez."

I quirked an eyebrow, "say what?"

"Oh yeah." He ran his hand through his hair as we made our way to the kitchen, "she was really good friends with two girls named Emily and Leah."

"I met Leah at the reservation Christmas Day."

"What? Really?"

"She's a bitch, I can't believe Kate's her friend." Edward took the bottle and silently asked for a shot glass, I went to the pantry and took out a hidden shot from behind our glasses. I washed it and handed it to him.

_Distraction is the best way. He'll lose count quickly._

"They got along much to Tanya's annoyance; she wanted Kate to be a loner." I opened the fridge for some limes.

"Why?" He poured himself a shot passing on the limes and salt and taking it neat.

"Tanya hates Kate's guts." He looked at me for a moment, raising his glass. "To you and your success at _Bistro Alexandria _and CIA."

"Thank you." I smirked and feeling flattered but feeling impatient for him to take the shot. "Drink up." He drank that shot like a pro giving me a great view of his prominent Adam's apple and thick neck.

_Mmmm... I want to see _another_ prominent bulge..._

He winced slamming the glass on my breakfast table, making me squirm and showing me how fucking hot he looked when he drank.

I squirmed a little feeling my body begin to wake up, my mouth watered again and my heart beat faster.

"Why did you take it straight?"

"Tequila was meant to be consumed like wine, baby." He informed me looking at the fancy Spanish label.

"Really?"

"Uh huh, poured into wine glasses and all that. But somewhere along the lines we changed the way people drink it and the limes and salt came into play."

"We?"

"American college students." He chuckled, "do you have a wine glass?" He asked looking around at the cupboards.

"Yeah." I went to get one Kate kept "for her mother" who'd never step foot in the apartment because she'd been too busy with work at a Port Angeles department store. She was some senior manager there and never had time for anything other than work.

It sort of reminded me of Renee.

I handed him the newly-washed glass hoping he didn't notice my hand shake as he took it. He poured some tequila filling it halfway and swirled it for a moment before breathing it in. He smirked, "it does something to the body."

"Human or alcohol?"

"Both. You don't mind? I wanted to see if it was true." He looked at me sheepishly, I couldn't help but laugh letting it out like a weird yelp. You don't realize that you're helping me.

"Not at all, go for it." I smiled clenching my teeth trying to kill the building tension around me. Before I could stop myself I said, "I bet you, you can't drink all that like a shot."

"Really?" Edward was cocky and confident, I knew he wouldn't be able to decline such a 'simple' dare.

"Yes."

"I'll take that bet." He put down the glass and extended his hand to me, "what is your wager?"

"If you can I'll give you a strip tease." His eyes bugged out and swallowed hard, I smiled widely looking his reaction. "And if you don't _you_ give _me_ the strip tease." I was really thinking with my clit then.

"Okay." I nodded once looking nothing but determined. We shook on it and he literally drank half a glass of genuine one-hundred percent agave tequila in two gulps.

My mouth dropped on the floor. He pounded the glass on the bar and I was surprised the stem didn't break from the force.

"Strip." He told me between winces, half-closed eyes and heavy breaths.

"Let's go to my bedroom." I told him feeling breathless myself. "And bring the bottle."

~.~.~.

"What's the capital of Austria?" I asked him, we were on my bed and naked. Mostly.

I was naked and he was shirtless and still wearing his jeans with no shoes or socks. Not for long...

"Z-zurig!" After my strip tease we'd moved on to playing _What's the Capital_ if he got it wrong he would take a shot. He wouldn't let me drink though somehow annoying me.

"Wrong." I told him, he mumbled something unintelligible and took the shot. He was on his fourth shot counting the one before the half-glass he drank in the kitchen.

_One more and we're done. Give him something easy to test where he is..._

"What's the capital of England?"

"London!" He yelled happily and sloppily. I laughed at how cute he was, and feeling a morbid sense of elation when I realized he was plastered.

"Edward I'm going to ask you one last thing before we finish."

"Waz dat?" He leaned forward on the bed making our noses touch. His eyes were glossed over but still bright and alive.

"Is this the most you've ever drank?"

He snorted looking away, "nos even. I drank a whole bottle once." He told me rather proudly, "diz is nothing."

"So you'll remember this tomorrow?"

"Yes." He nodded solemnly.

"Really?"

"Yes." He nodded again violently, "I swear."

"That's all I needed to know." I threw myself at him taking him by surprise and letting him drop the bottle. I should have been angry at myself for letting him drop it but I didn't give a fuck. Or rather I was too busy trying to get _get_ a fuck.

* * *

******As a formal culinary institute, I suspect CIA uses the French kitchen hierarchy otherwise known as _brigade de cuisine_. Something that would leak into their student restaurants. (I researched this and found no credible research to prove my theory but I'm sticking to it.)**

**Bella was applying was applying for the position of ****_plongeur- '_****cleans dishes and utensils, and may be entrusted with basic preparatory jobs.' But instead got pushed up to _femme de cusine._The ****official term is _garçon de cuisine- _the kitchen boy—'someone who performs preparatory and auxiliary work for support.'**

**But Bella is obviously a girl so I switched it to _femme._**

**Other titles:**

**_Poissonnier: _Fish chef; a chef assigned to the fish and seafood dishes in a formal kitchen.**

**_Pâtissier: _Head pastry chef; a chef assigned to run the pastry division in a formal kitchen.**

**If you want to read teasers, talk to me about anything fandom or otherwise add me on Twitter at ilithyae or visit my blog at iithyae dot blogspot dot com!**

**********__****Disclaimer: She is not going to rape him. So before you hit the Review or PM button telling me how I might be promoting rape, I'm not. He's drunk but I've dropped enough hints throughout the story that show how Edward can handle more than half a bottle of pure tequila. I even had him mention it. The question is if Drunk Edward will let Horny Bella defile him...**


	30. Pour Some Sugar on Me II

**I apologize for being so late with this update. This chapter was a B.I.T.C.H to write and those of you who follow me on Twitter know I rewrote it a few times.**

**Those same readers also know that my sister graduated from Woodbury University two days ago and that I fell on my face after parking on a hill. I hate heels now. For realz with a _z._**

**Annnnd I'm not proud of the fact that I got wasted last night after work AND sent a drink to a manager I work with that was there too before I went to a male strip club and spent my paycheck on trying to get Washingtons closest to the strippers' dicks. I blame my gay cousin. He is the devil in disguise and I love him :D Anyway yeah that's what's made this update late. **

**BTW, the manager's name is Edward and he's Lenny Kravitz hot. Yummy.**

**Don't judge me lolz with a _z_.**

* * *

Def Leppard- _Pour Some Sugar on Me_ Part Dos

* * *

_2004._

"Bella," Edward gasped hitting my mint green bed knocking my breath out for a moment. His copper hair was in disarray and his dark green eyes although glazed over, looked beautiful surrounded by the lighter shades.

"No talking." I whispered, running my hands down his chest and fumbling with his dark-washed jeans that hugged his lower body perfectly. I ran my hands all over his bare chest and noticed the auburn trail that led to the Promised Land.

I bit my lip, swallowing the excess saliva that was once again pooling in my mouth. I contemplated possible health issues right before Edward pried my hands away from his growing bulge.

"I promised."

"But I didn't." I fought back, angry with him for trying to follow through and cursing my father three thousand miles away. Edward was cocksure but his pride and honor beat his overconfidence by a slight margin.

"Bella please." He croaked when I pulled away and dug on of my hands into his exposed hip while bringing the other to his hardening dick. I palmed him greedily over his jeans. He let out a strangled moan, thrusting his lower body into my hand. I responded with my own moan and gripped him harder.

"Tell me you want me." I leaned forward into his face, his warm breath smelled of tequila and a rogue thought of shoving my tongue down his mouth and tasting the alcohol still there.

"I want you." He told me reverently, "so, _so _bad."

"I want you too." I climbed on his lap forgetting my old fears of being too heavy to be on his lap. I couldn't think of anything but being with him. The lust and want was running rampant through my body that all I could think about was having him deep inside me.

Even though I'd never had sex before, the primal side of me wanted it. My body somehow knew what it wanted and I anticipated it with impatience.

"You're so pretty." He told me, his eyes danced as he led me higher on his lap.

We both moaned at the slight friction it caused.

"You think I'm pretty?" I asked innocently, I felt more wetness drip from me making me wonder if he could feel it through his jeans. The sudden movement under me told me that he could.

"Very." He told me making me think of a little boy confessing to his kindergarten crush how much he liked her. It made my heart hammer away and my insides warm up all over.

"Do you want to kiss me?" I asked leaning forward and tempting him with my lips. His eyes darted to my mouth and I saw them darken with desire.

"Yeah."

"Kiss me then." I whispered our lips ghosting over each other.

As soon as the words were out of my mouth his lips came up and sucked on mine. He wrapped his arms around my middle and bent me backwards so that we would change places on the bed.

I found myself down against my mattress as he shoved his tongue into my mouth. I moaned tasting the hint of alcohol and sucking on it and fulfilling my earlier fantasy. He groaned in response and ground his body into mine.

He pulled away and pushed my neck to the side and attached himself to my neck. His hands were everywhere; I thanked myself for suggesting the bet and 'loosing' to him.

After a few passes around my body his hands finally parked on my breasts. He sucked on one side of my neck only to turn to the other while he thrust into my dripping core as he began tugging and twisting my pebbled nipples.

"Oh fuck." I gasped not knowing where to focus and how to respond to his enthusiasm.

"You like this?" He asked in between bites.

"Yeah." I told him digging my hands into his soft hair pulling him impossibly closer to me. He growled into my mouth and pulled away only to unbuckle his jeans and kick them off. I tried not to show how excited I was for winning and I was sure he was too focused on undressing.

He stood over me, his chest showed red scratch marks from my overzealous touching. His tattoo looked darker than I remembered, and his glorious dick saluted me as his eyes bore into me.

"You are mine."

"I am." He responded ardently, I felt my blood rush south in a rush, I knew he was too keyed up for romance. _And that's all right with me._

I scooted back and leaned back on my bed reaching out for him to follow me. He came forward, putting most of his weight on his left elbow, his other hand pushing my thigh away for more room.

My heart was in my throat like never before, my breathing was slow but hard and my determination was stronger than ever. I felt a horde of invisible ants run rampant all over my body once I realized that we were really going to go through with it.

I reached up to touch his jaw, he instinctively leaned into my hand closing his eyes for a second. "You are mine." He whispered almost as a revelation.

"I am." I told him trying to mimic his devotion when he'd answered me. He opened his eyes slowly and I could see the old raging storm in his eyes I used to see when we were 'enemies.'

"I don't think I'm going to last long."

I blushed a little feeling a fresh wave of jittery nerves. I may have been naïve with the art of flirtation and sex but I knew enough from Health class to know that boys' first times were quick and mostly unsatisfactory for their partner.

"It's okay. I just want to be with you." I sighed feeling the nerves leave my body slightly. The words were like aloe vera on sunburned skin— it doused them.

He didn't need any more convincing even though I doubted the alcohol in his bloodstream was letting him think clearly anyway.

He came forward and attacked my breasts, nipping, kissing and sucking in a random pattern. I did notice he liked my left boob more than my right. "_Mmm_…" he moaned into my flushed skin, "so full."

I said nothing enjoying the thrill shoot sparks all over me, I ran my fingers through his messy locks.

He started tweaking my erect nipples; I glanced at his cock and wondered idly if he would've liked me stroking him while he kissed me all over.

Letting my instincts take over, I followed through with my thoughts and earned a low grunt from him. He had reversed into a caveman and I _liked _it.

His cock twitched in my hand as I slowly ran my hand up and down, I took this as an incentive to go harder. He ended up wincing in pain and recoiling.

"What's wrong?"

"Too rough." He closed his eyes in pain.

I blushed feeling embarrassed for doing something wrong. "I'm sorry." I felt a new flush of blood spread all over me but instead of going south it went north up to my cheeks.

"It's okay." He opened them and looked at me, "lick your hand."

Remembering the first time I'd given him a handjob I did. I began a slow pace taking him in between us and running my hand up and down. I noted that it looked like I was pleasuring myself and wondered if he'd like that, seeing me pleasuring myself.

He'd asked me once to do it in front of him and he always mentioned it over the phone. Suddenly, I wanted to finish pleasuring him so I could touch myself and see his reaction.

_No. _My subconscious spoke up, but it wasn't 'The Voice' from before. It sounded more like me disappointing me a little. _He's given me countless orgasms, it's time to return the favor._

I pushed my thoughts of self-gratification for his pleasure aside and began pumping a little faster but felt my hand begin to dry up because of the friction.

Edward moaned and groaned on top of me. His upper body was slightly bent upwards as he pushed his hips into mine pinning me down.

_I need more lubrication._

The thought of stopping and licking my hand every few minutes annoyed me. _More for him than for me._ I didn't want it to be a stop and go way and the only way to keep him highly lubricated at all times is if I…

The thought formed slowly in my mind then becoming an idea before blossoming into an action.

I leaned into his ear, "I want you in my mouth." I licked his earlobe with the tip of my tongue, my mind already ready for the act.

"Ohhh." He moaned, his body stiffened and he let go. I felt hot, sticky liquid in my hand effectively coating his length. I looked down and excess semen dripped into the inside of my thigh. "Oh."

His body went limp right before his cock, letting his head bow down in between my breasts he tried to regain his breath.

His hair felt soft and cool against my warm pink skin, I enjoyed the feeling.

I let go of his dick and wiped my hand on my duvet. Once I felt I'd gotten most of it off—still feeling stickiness in between my fingers, I pushed his chin up so he could look at me.

His eyes were glazed over and something told me was because of his orgasm and the alcohol.

"I still want you in my mouth." I felt the corners of my lips quirk up. I was feeling adventurous and my nerves were disappearing quickly.

He groaned deliciously, "give me a minute."

He literally needed a minute before I felt him hard against me again. My mind thought of young men's quick recovery time and I thanked his virile hormones for it.

It was a good sign for the main act.

I pushed him lightly off me and nudged his legs apart. We said nothing to each other, letting our eyes speak for ourselves.

His were asking mine if I was okay with this, and mine responded with a resounding yes.

Thinking of Jessica's assault on a banana earlier that day made me want to try it in real life. I bit my lip as I stared down at the veiny, swollen, slightly purple head before flicking my eyes to look at him.

He inhaled sharply before I lowered my lips on to it.

I gave it a light kiss. Edward shuddered under me, digging his nails into my green bed. I noted the droplet of semen on my lips and tentatively licked it off.

It tasted salty and slightly metal-ly.

_Definitely not saccharine. Def Leppard you lied to me._ I giggled at my idle thoughts.

"What?" Edward asked quietly, cocking his head to the side.

"_Pour some sugar on me._" I sang slightly off-key leaning forward to give him a kiss on his lips. He smirked, visibly relaxing. "_ooh in the name of love!"_ He was a better singer than me.

_"Pour some sugar on me!" _I sang again, with a slight improvement. He sat up, smiling from ear to ear and wrapping his arms around me.

_"Come on, fire me up!" _Pushing me into his chest, he ground himself onto my stomach. I giggled like a five year-old.

_"Pour your sugar on me!"_ I wiggled around him suggestively, liking how my nipples tickled against his bare chest.

_"Can't get enough." _He half-moaned joining our foreheads together, I beamed feeling warm honey all over my insides.

_"I'm hot sticky sweet/ from my head to my feet yeah!"_ I finished before pecking his lips.

He opened his mouth giving me access and I took his invitation readily. His hands roamed my body, massaging me before he grasped my ass cheeks and grinding them down into his dick. I pulled away gasping.

He looked at me sheepishly, waiting for a reprimand but I didn't give it to him. I got over the surprise and grinned wickedly at him.

"Turn me over."

He did what I asked and kissed me reverently all over my body, letting his hands wander onto my wet core. "So wet." He told me between kisses.

I let out a breathless moan, I thrust my lower body into his open palm hoping he would do something about it.

"I want your lips on me." He told me before digging his tongue slowly into mine giving me a hint.

I moaned again feeling like a broken record but I couldn't help it. _Just call me the happy Moaning Myrtle._

"I want to try something." I whispered not getting over the want of having _him _in my mouth.

I'd never read the Kama Sutra— I preferred _Ben & Jerry's_ Karmel Sutra to that, but I did know from an overexcited Rose about the fabled 69 position.

It seemed simple enough. He would eat me out while I sucked him dry. _Nothing difficult about that right?_ Wrong.

Once I bashfully let him know about my idea he more than willingly told me he wanted to try it too.

When I'd tried to position myself I banged my head against the headboard. After telling him I was okay he proceeded to position himself over me but I was a little over-enthused and lifted my head banging into his perfect cock. Hard.

"Fuck!" He winced pulling away from me and letting himself fall on the side of the mattress, with both his hands on his dick.

"Oh crap!" I exclaimed feeling like a total dick myself. "Baby are you okay?" I didn't know what to do. _Should I try and massage it for him? _That idea didn't seem like a good one once I noticed tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Fuckity fuck fuck!" He writhed, rocking sideways trying to ease the pain away.

"Edward?" I tried sitting on my thighs but I got caught in my own limbs going forward and falling on my elbow which landed on his thigh.

"Fuck!" He screamed trying to get away from me. "That fucking hurt!"

"I'm sorry!" I yelled feeling self-loathing and embarrassment.

"Give me a minute please!"

The phrase came out disgustingly different to the first time he said it making my embarrassment double. _Why did I have to be such a klutz?_

"Baby please let me help you!" I pleaded inching closer. He inched back going to the edge of the bed. That fucking hurt.

"Hold on Bella. Fuck." He gritted with one eye open and one eye shut. I would have preferred both his eyes closed because I could see the anger in the open one. There was also annoyance in his voice, making my blood run cold.

I felt my body go limp.

"Okay." I responded in a low voice. I looked down at my hands feeling a lump forming in my throat, I leaned forward so that my hair could shield me from him. I didn't want him to see the rejection going through me then.

After the aforementioned minute he leaned forward carefully because he was still tender and in case I made a move that would land him on the floor and sterile.

I bit my lip fighting the tears.

"Bella?" He sounded pained, I said nothing keeping my eyes down, I saw a tear drop and fall into my bare skin. "Babe, look at me."

I knew that if I did, he would see the tears. _All I wanted was to be with him. Why was it so hard to be with him?! It's like the god, the Universe and Colonel Sanders don't want us together!_

An ugly thought grew into an idea and festered into a fact.

I looked up at him, my eyes bugging out. He looked at me surprised at my sudden motion and visibly relaxed when he noticed I wasn't coming after him. His face fell immediately after taking in my tear-stained face.

All of this happened in a second but it was enough time to make me think of the possibilities.

"What if you and I aren't meant to be together?"

"What?"

"Every single time we've tried to have sex either I wasn't ready, we were interrupted, threatened or practically kill ourselves in the act!"

"What the fuck are you talking about Bella?" His eyes narrowed and his body tensed. "what do you mean by 'we aren't meant to be together'?"

I raked my brain for an example he would get immediately. Rachel and Joey.

"Remember when the guys from _Friends_ went to Barbados and Rachel and Joey finally let loose but every time they tried to fuck they were interrupted by something or someone?"

"Yes." His answer was slow and clipped, his eyes were still suspicious turning into hard emeralds.

"What if you and I are Rachel and Joey?"

"You're comparing us to a sitcom?"

"Aren't all sitcoms based on real life?" I countered feeling annoyed that he wasn't focusing on the important aspect of my example.

"That's not what I'm trying to say." He told me coming closer to me but still keeping his distance. Something told me it wasn't because he was afraid of me anymore.

I felt the almost forgotten undercurrent I used to feel when Pirate Edward ruled the seven seas otherwise known as the rainy streets of Forks, WA.

I looked down at his flaccid dick, even limp and red in a most unflattering way made me want to mount him.

"Eyes up here, baby doll." He told me in an eerily quiet voice. My eyes snapped to his simultaneously feeling delicious pleasure begin to wake me up.

I told myself it wasn't the time. I needed to get my point across.

"Rachel didn't belong with Joey," he began, in the same detached tone. I bit my lip feeling the invisible coil inside me begin to wiggle. "She belonged with Ross."

"You hate Ross."

"I do." He told me, "he is a self-absorbed, self-righteous son of a bitch."

I grinned, the old fire began to lick around us, "sound familiar baby boy?" I threw back his new term of endearment with my own spin.

He let go of a loud, almost-honest laugh throwing his gorgeous head of hair backwards. "Fuck I love you."

I smiled meekly feeling the coil tighten.

"Yes." He chuckled, "I can see the similarities but I still prefer her with him."

"Edward," I sighed, "it's been hard between us. I had to get you drunk to get me to fuck me."

"We've had it hard? Really? I don't mean disrespect Bella but our relationship has been easy compared to other people." He told me carefully.

I narrowed my eyes, "why do I feel like it's an accusation?"

"You've made it hard."

"What?" I gasped jumping off the bed and squaring off.

He sighed heavily getting up himself, "you've made it hard Bella. The arguing, the sudden breakup/makeup and now this." He motioned between us to point out the budding argument. I crossed my arms in anger.

"You're blaming all our blips on me?"

"I'm not perfect," he admitted, I scoffed. "Finally you admit that." I told him acidly, "took you long enough."

"I'm not perfect baby blue but I've been the one to convince you more times to be with me than you me."

"Explain."

"It took you years to come around. Except for our first kiss, you allowed me to kiss you every time after that. You sent me mixed signals."

"What about you?!" I yelled, "you teased me relentlessly, cornered me, forced me to do your homework. Shall I go on?!"

"I know and I've apologized to you for that over and over," he countered crossly. "But what about you? I'm telling you, you used to return the kisses, the double entenderes. Everything."

"What's the point of all this?"

"My point is that I'm getting sick of you always finding the most ridiculous, far-fetched excuses to not be with me." He started strong but ended weakly. He looked at the floor, glancing at me and back down. "It's almost as if you're grasping at straws to break up with me."

"I…" I blinked a few times taking in what he was saying. He looked at me with a guarded look studying me carefully.

"Tell me the truth."

"I don't know."

"I see."

"Edward."

"Bella."

"I love you."

"I know."

"But…"

"But…?"

"I don't know."

"I know."

I said nothing. I felt hot tears roll down my eyes. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_ Did I really do that? Did I really try to find stupid excuses to not want to be with him?

Part of me knew that it was true but the bigger part of me, the part of me that wanted to be with him and fight for what we had fought against this new revelation.

Edward must have seen something in me because next thing I knew we were on my bed, hands everywhere, wet kisses all over and growing appendages. Mostly his.

"I love you." He grasped hungrily, "I will fight everyone and everything to be with you. Even you." He pulled away, green eyes glaring into me. I gasped at his fervor.

"Oh Edward." I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him with newfound passion. I was desperate to be joined to him in a more physical way. "I need you."

"It's not going to be like the movies." He warned me yet again.

"I know."

"It won't be perfect."

"I know."

"Don't judge me."

"I won't." I pulled away and looked deep into his gorgeous green eyes. I thought of the dark moss back home in Forks and it made me feel like home.

Opening my legs, he touched my clit before inserting his middle finger inside me. I gasped lifting my butt of the bed. "_Shhh_… it's okay baby I just want to prepare you." He whispered calmly. Well, it would have been calm save for the breathlessness in his voice. "You're beautiful."

I moaned as his finger began trespassing the darkest part of my body. It felt weird but good weird. Like a welcome intrusion.

It was light and the carnal side of me wished for more.

"More." I groaned twisting my neck around and beginning to squirm. Edward introduced his index finger and pumped slowly. "Oh." I gasped, the slow simmering pleasure rising slightly.

"_Mmmm_…" Edward moaned above me, I could feel him watching me as he worked me. He massaged my clit just as slowly making more wetness seep out of me. "You like this?"

"Uh huh." I couldn't really speak, I was too entranced in this new kind of pleasure. It was different than just the typical build up. Different yet familiar and different again.

"So tight." He said, his fingers going a little deeper. "Oh." I groaned lazily opening my legs a little wider. "Three."

He inserted his ring finger slowly, pumping three times to get my walls used to it.

"Oh fuck me." I gasped.

He let out a nervous, giddy laugh pumping all three fingers slowly. It was torturous.

"Lick me."

Without question and not stopping his ministrations, he leaned forward and removed his thumb from my clit only to replace it with this tongue. He pumped slowly, tasting me when he retracted his fingers. I felt pleasure all around.

"Oh yes." I wiggled, my body telling me it wanted to go faster.

"Slow down Blue." He whispered before going back to licking me. I watched him between my lashes and over my peaked and flushed breasts. My legs were bent at the knees framing him, I wanted to see more so I parted them further.

His hair was gloriously messy, eyes trained down watching his own fingers enter me not really exiting. His angled jaw, sharp nose, high cheekbones and sexy tattoo watched me, watching him. I threw my head back, _fuck he was beautiful._

I scooted my ass closer to his face feeling him grin in response. He was literally torturing me.

"You want to break up with me?" He asked leaving my clit and kissing my inner thighs, I didn't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. _Bad thing, definitely a bad thing._

"No." _Break up? Why would anyone want to break up with you? You're a fucking god dropped from the heavens to torture me with sin and temptation._

"Really?" His voice was devoid of any real emotion, he leisurely pecked my skin taking his time and making me writhe with impatience.

"Fuck, Edward!" I yelled between my teeth.

"Yes baby doll," I could hear the laughter behind his voice, "fuck Edward." I screamed, flashbacks of a dressed up Edward, shadowed by the darkness in his room, _'fuck you.'_

_'Yes, please and thank you.'_

I let out an angry yell and flipped us over, knocking the wind out of him. Instead of letting it get to me I pumped his cock one, twice, thrice before coming down and sucking him as I squeezed the base.

"Fuck Bella." He winced, "too rough, too rough." He grabbed my hand and tried to pry it away but I loosed it to show him I would ease up but not let go. "Oh fuck." He groaned, his hips beginning to roll, "oh yes, fuck, yes. Yes." He chanted, "just like that baby. Grab my balls." He eased my reluctant hand and placed it on his testicles. "Roll them gently." He gasped. I did so slowly. "Yes baby doll- oh fuck yeah just like that."

I popped him like a lollypop, "tell me how to suck."

"Oh fuck." He watched me take him in again, "run your tongue down the underside of my—oh fuck just like that!" He lifted his hips off the bed, thrusting shallowly into my mouth. The act surprised me a little, but I relaxed knowing it was natural from him to want to begin thrusting.

Tape _A_ replayed in my mind, the professionals being replaced by Edward and I.

I imagined how we might've looked from outside. We looked good.

"Oh fuck baby, fuck." He began to move, "you okay with this?" He asked me.

I nodded, not wanting to let go again. I was enjoying this too much, I was enjoying _him_ too much.

"Relax your mouth." He told me, "just like that. Don't stop, don't stop. Oh fuck yeah, _mmmmmm…_" He closed his eyes and leaned back, getting lost in his pleasure. I felt myself drip under me, who knew giving head would be so fucking hot?

"You like this Bella?" He asked coming back to me, "you like fucking me with your mouth?"

I moaned around him eliciting another string of _fucks_ from him, "don't stop massaging my balls baby." He instructed and I followed. "Yeah baby girl, you learn so quickly. Run your tongue over my tip. _Oh fuck_ _yes_." He stiffened, "I'm about to blow Bella, let go if you-"

Not wanting to miss anything I grasped him, sucking harder as to attach myself to him—_I wish it was permanent._

"Oh fuck, Bella, fuck!" He screamed letting go and thrusting four times into my mouth. Hot spurts of salty liquid hit the back of my throat, I let go once his cock began to soften and swallowed.

He watched me as he rode out his orgasm, this body thrusting on empty. The semen definitely didn't taste 'divine, delicious, amazing' like the women in the pornos claimed but I liked it only because it came from him. All Edward.

"Oh fuck." He breathed, his body calming down and covered in a beautiful pink glow. I licked my lips loving the vista.

"How long?" I was an impatient bitch.

He laughed lazily, running his hands through his hair and sighing. "Come here," I climbed him happily. "You listened to everything I said."

"I wanted to learn."

"Thank you." He kissed me. I didn't know if to open my mouth because I'd just swallowed his cum and I had no idea how he felt about that.

He answered my silent question by forcing his tongue up my mouth. I grinned into his lips, we both knew what the other one was thinking.

I licked his tongue, he licked mine before letting go. He looked at me openly, "only if you want to."

"I want to."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Okay."

He leaned forward, rolling us again and putting me down on the bed. He came down to kiss me but this time it wasn't passionate, it was soft and sweet.

My hands roamed the bare planes of his chest, finding his tattoo from memory and tracing it. The ink didn't feel any different than his white skin but I knew where it was and where it ended. He moaned into my mouth enjoying my tracing.

He let go of my lips only to begin kissing my jaw, my throat, the length of my body, the inside of my thigh and finally finding purchase in my clit.

I came hard and fast from all the foreplay.

Without a word I pushed him off, leaned into my drawer and pulled out a foil packet. I'll admit I stocked it the day before for just in case.

He gave me an impish grin and tore it open. His nerves got the better of him and he ended up throwing it to the side. He asked for another one and tried it again. This time he was able to put it on without much trouble. Much.

"I love you." He told me, caressing my face and moving my hair away.

"I love you too." I answered coming up to touch his face; he closed his eyes and smiled to himself.

"You want to be with me?"

Remembering our bitter argument and pushing it aside quickly, I answered him honestly, "yes. My love for you is greater than my fear of losing you."

"You won't lose me, ever."

I hugged him fiercely before he nudged me down so he could begin my—our deflowering. I couldn't help but laugh. It sounded so trite, so old-fashioned.

"You laugh?"

"Deflower me." I grinned feeling fooling and oddly relieved.

"As you deflower me." He caught on quickly before grasping his dick and stroking it a few times. He gave a sigh and eased the tip in. I didn't feel anything and told him to keep going. I inhaled sharply as I began to feel him inside.

"Oh god." He moaned, he clearly felt more than I did but I didn't complain.

"Oh." I gasped feeling that familiar different feeling.

"You okay?"

"Yes." I grasped his muscled arms, "keep going."

I felt him stop, "I love you." He told me before thrusting once, I gasped digging my hands into his arms. I felt a weird pinching deep inside. It wasn't necessarily painful just uncomfortable.

"Oh fuck me." He groaned dropping his head on my shoulder.

I gave out a nervous laugh, "I am." I grasped his arms digging deeper, he hissed but didn't recoil. I guessed he liked it. I began to feel impatient from just sitting there and I felt my inner muscles relax; the small discomfort was gone and all I felt then was need.

"Move." I pushed his arms up as a way of getting him started, he chuckled looking down at me, "ready?"

"The worst part is over."

He kissed me languidly as a response, "let's make love."

"Fuck me."

"Love."

"Fuck."

"Love."

"Fuck."

"Okay fuck." He said, rolling his eyes and beginning to thrust.

You know how karma's a bitch? Well she/he/it is. He was done before I even started.

_That's what you get for getting him drunk in the first place and bringing up the Rachel/Joey bullshit, bitch._

~.~.~.

"You didn't realize I was trying to get you drunk?"

"Not at first. You gave yourself away when you asked me to bring the bottle with me." He drew invisible patterns on my arms.

It was late evening and Kate and Jess weren't back yet from their outing with the family. Edward might have been experienced—fuck you Tanya— but his body was still virginal.

I laughed when I thought of this.

He came quickly and being the third time he'd come in two hours, his body was spent. _Even a twenty year old gets tired._

After apologizing to me over and over, I made him promise we would try again before he left for New York City. What? I was impatient, I've said this.

"And you still drank?"

"Of course. I wanted to see how far you would go." We laughed together at my obviousness.

"Were you really drunk?"

"I was," he nodded once, "but I played it up a bit."

"Holy fuck you can hold your liquor." I was impressed, he grinned arrogantly, "Jasper and I might not go to the campus' keggers much but we do like a nice drink every now and then."

"How do you do it?"

He shrugged, "I have my ways."

"You don't go to work at the clinic drunk do you?" I pulled away from his grasp, feeling anger at the thought.

"Of course not! We only drink on the weekends when we don't have class or work!" I grumbled in response and went back to leaning on his chest. We were wrapped around each other, with only the lightest blanket I owned as a cover.

Our bodies were too warm to be under the heavier covers I'd made the bed with and therefore were thrown to the side.

"Do you regret it?" He asked after a beat.

"No. Do you?"

"Nope."

"Did you like it?" I asked shyly and pulling on my thumb nail with its sister.

"I did." He whispered into my ear from behind as he tightened his grasp on me, "I'm—"

"If you apologize one more time about coming quickly, I'm going to clobber you with a skillet!" I yelled at him irritably.

"Sorry." He told me, abashed.

"Better be for annoying me, Cullen."

He didn't reply letting the question waft around us, I clicked my tongue angrily. "Why is it so important you, men?"

"It stems back to our need to reproduce. If I can't satisfy you then the integral part of my male psyche will feel like I didn't do my job in reproducing and furthering my lineage."

"But you did come, what is it to your inner cave man if I come or not?" I asked interested, I turned to him slightly.

"True but we want to satisfy you. It's not just about the reproduction per se. There's more to it."

I rolled my eyes, "you satisfy me all the time."

"Then why do you want to break up with me?" He asked in a quiet voice. I felt like an a bucket of ice water was dropped on me. I knew he would want to talk about it but I didn't know so soon. I mean we'd just lost our virginities to each other two hours before.

"I don't want to break up with you."

"Then explain-"

Mimicking his comment I said, "it stems back to my feelings of inadequacy." I thought of Dr. Carter er… Avery and wished she was there to hold my hand.

"Oh."

"You're just so good you know? You take care of me, you ask about my day. You said so yourself, you've fought for me against me."

"I said that when I was angry."

"It's still true." I looked down again feeling shame, "I'm afraid of you waking up one day and realizing I'm not good enough for you…" The image of Renee walking away from me into the forest played in my mind, "and walking away… and leaving me behind…"

He didn't answer right away but gasped, "oh Bella." He hugged me tight against his chest. "Baby, _I love you_ and can't imagine my life without you."

"That's because we've lived around each other all our lives." I wasn't trying to be difficult, more like realistic. I knew that we both didn't have much life experience and the whole 'high school sweethearts' thing didn't thrive much after high school.

I guess that was my biggest fear when it came to Edward. That one day he would realize how gorgeous, intelligent and funny he was to be with plain me. He already knew how gifted he was, much to my superficial annoyance.

"Don't over-analyze." He told me. I looked at him in surprise, "don't think of the 'ifs,' just do."

"But-"

"You're mine, I'm yours. That's it."

I looked at him and saw nothing but conviction in those dark green orbs. Taking a deep breath, I knew I could trust him.

_I hope you're right. Because if you're not it would kill me._

* * *

**There you have it. Your thoughts? **

**Shout out to the brilliant lil Hummingbird for helping me string them together. I was having difficulties breaking E's promise and making Bella a 'woman' when HB suggested Bella get Edward drunk. Thank you HB, you inspire me every day :) Also, I apologize for the drunk tweets. Lol **

**P.S. -waves- hi Zdenka a.k.a. silvaren2! 3**

**Okay I'm done. Follow me on Twitter at ilithyae :)**


	31. Telephone

**Happy Saturday/Sunday depending on where you live lol! **

**I turned in my first final today and my brain is fried!(yes on a Saturday because my professor is going on vacation next week.) I need to find good fics to de-stress! Any recc's?**

**I would like to thank all of those who reviewed telling me you liked how the FINALLY did the dirty and let me tell you: I'M GLAD. I would also like to address all of you who've requested more of JXA/EmXR and here you have it. I wanted to weave a bit of E/B into it because let's face it, you're here for them but the other four deserve a little time in the sun, right?**

**I named it after Lady Gaga's song only because of the title not because of the lyrics :D**

**Thank you again for staying with me :)**

* * *

******Lady Gaga- _Telephone_**

* * *

**JPOV**

"Done." I let go of a relieved sigh saving the document named _Longest Fucking Essay in the History of Finance; Fuck You Professor Addison._ Yup, the name matched the essay.

"Hey," Edward walked in wearing a white t-shirt with _Vote for Pedro _in black ink. _Napoleon Dynamite _was fast becoming his new favorite movie, mine was _Anchor Man_, Will Ferrell could do no wrong.

"Hey man." I answered back. I was working on the small dining table his mother, Esme had bought for us right after I moved in. "I'm done with Addison's critical essay on the rise and fall of the Stock Market."

"Good for you man, learned anything important?" He leaned on the back of another one of his mother's furniture pieces. The dark wood chairs matched the dark cherry table I'd been using as a desk for the last four hours.

"I learned that Jack is real good for washing down stale donuts." I smirked pointing to the greased pink box my 'lunch' had been packed in. _Deluca's _was sprawled all over it, boasting of their delicious confections. _Sure._

Edward laughed shaking his head and taking a seat. "You should really cut back on the Jack."

"What the hell?" I stood back, "this is the first time I drink this week!"

"Maybe you should re-read your essay tomorrow before printing it and turning it in." His shoulders rocked from quiet laughter, annoying me a little.

"I did pretty fucking well if you ask me."

"Remember when you dropped the _c_-word to that fucker that married his cousin or something last year?" He cocked an eyebrow as a challenge.

I rolled my eyes beginning to clear the table, "so I made a little slip, sue me. And besides he married his _second_ cousin. According to him there's a difference."

"Right. Do you think that's even legal?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "first-cousin marriages are legal in Hawaii, Alaska, California, New Mexico, Colorado, the Dekotas, New York-"

"Hold up! It's legal to marry your first cousin in all those states?" He waved his hands frantically, "and better yet, how the fuck do you know all of that?"

"Sociology class." I shrugged knowing what he was about to say.

"Wait… you didn't mention any southern states. Are you sure that's right?"

"Fucking Yankee." I grabbed the donut box and chucked it at him, he dodged it like the fast fucker he was laughing like an idiot. "There are some southern states that accept first-cousin marriages but

Texas isn't one of them, I'll have you know." I told him slathering up my accent and sounding like Rhet Butler with a Texan twang.

"Okay, okay. I apologize, sir." He deepened his voice and sounded like a high society New Englander.

"You sound like you should be part of an old gentleman's club in Rhode Island. You're from Washington!"

"Then technically I'm not a Yankee am I?" He sat back, hands out in defense. I shook my head; sometimes our conversations were so pointless. Like they should be.

"You're ancestors come from Boston you idiot, therefore you _are_ a Yankee." I shot back remembering a conversation I had with Alice last year just after I arrived at their home uninvited and heartbroken. Both for my sudden breakup with Karla, a German exchange student and because my family was still playing war games with one another.

_Alice. I haven't replied to her email yet._

"Did you forget that my mother's family is southern?" He asked me as-a-matter-of-factly, "don't forget about the Platt Ranch outside of Chattanooga."

"You've gone to that ranch _once_ and you were three. I bet you don't remember a thing."

"Yeah well, whatever." He told me doing a one-eighty and letting a long breath out. He'd moved from the table to the space between the kitchen and the living room. He looked odd.

"What's up?"

He shook his head gravely as if clearing his head. "Bella's birthday is next week."

"Right." _Ah. _Edward had two equally important factors in his life: his schoolwork and Bella Swan.

"I don't know what to get her."

"Dude," I finished gathering my things, picking up the discarded greasy box to throw away. "You always freak yourself out before gift-worthy holidays and you always manage to pull something out of the bag."

"I know but this is her eighteenth," he insisted. "I've gotten her jewelry, flowers, spa tickets, photos, old stuff that I stole when I was pining for her."

"You never pined for her. From what you've told me, you were a little dipshit."

"I pined in my room."

"Yeah good point." I laughed shaking my head. But then again I was a hypocrite. I mean, I was pining for his sister and corralled his girlfriend into keeping my secret.

_Note to self: call Bella to ask for gift ideas for Alice's birthday next month._

Shit.

"I was thinking—and don't judge me for this," he rushed out. I was about to make a crack about him 'thinking' for the first time but stopped myself; he looked too preoccupied for me to be making jokes. "I haven't taken her on a proper date."

This caught me by surprise.

"What?"

"I don't know," he shrugged, "it's always been casual you know? Our first date was ruined by the waiter, then I made it up by taking her to the Pike Market and every time we've been out it's been a group thing or whatever."

"You're kidding me."

"Wish I was." He exhaled loudly, pulling on his crazy hair.

"Before you make yourself bald," I told him half-joking, "think it through, you're freaking out. Does Bella really sound like the girl that would want to go to a fancy restaurant, wear fancy clothes and eat fancy food?"

"Every girl wants that."

"Don't assume." I shook my head putting the trash in the can and pointing to the couch in the living room. He followed me there even though he was closer.

"I'm not assuming. Alice is always going on about her perfect date." My breath hitched ever so slightly at the mention of her. "They watch chick flicks all the fucking time and you know the standards set by Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise and Leonardo DiCaprio are pretty fucking high."

"True." I wasn't going to refute that. Those fuckers made it hard for us real guys to find and girl and get laid. "But Bella doesn't sound like she wants to go to a Michelin restaurant instead of the corner's Mom 'n Pop."

"That's another thing." He barreled through me, "she works at a nice restaurant, surrounded by same-minded people. She's learning about menu combinations, what wine goes with what dish and laughing about chef jokes and I don't understand." He surprised me with his passionate rant. Edward was one of the most confident guys I knew and yet here he sat sounding so unsure of himself.

"The other day she called me and told me this joke about butter come to found out it was a play on words for butt."

I laughed like the idiot that I was, "wow that's lame. Who knew Bella was into those corny jokes?" He glared at me before answering me, "she said_ Riley_ told her stupid pick-up lines chefs use on women to 'teach her how to keep away from the losers' at school."

"What?"

"Yeah," he scoffed getting up and pacing two feet away. "another story on the _wonderful, friendly, nice_ Riley Biers."

_Fuck._

Bella's manager and friend Riley Biers had been very nice to Bella since she started working for the Culinary Institute of America's _Bistro Alexandria_. Something Edward was not happy about. Every phone call they had Bella would mention something or other about Biers.

"_He knows origami and he folded a napkin like a swan and gave it to me! Isn't that cool?"_

"_He walked me home after we closed late even though he didn't have to. He's so nice Edward, he went out of his way, too!"_

"_Kate and Garrett were making out like rabbits and he called the apartment to ask me to come over and keep him company. He took me to the movies and we watched _Exorcist: The Beginning_. Holy fuck Edward that was scary."_

That had not made Edward happy. At all.

"Fuck this shit. Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it." Edward growled the following week when he told me this. "I'm going to call Dr. Jones; I'm taking Friday off and going to Hyde Park for the weekend. We agreed I would go down a week after her birthday because of Charlie but I can't wait."

"Edward, wait."

"No," he took two purposeful steps towards me with his index finger pointing at me. "I know she's just sharing her life with me and means no harm but I'm sick of hearing about how great of a guy Riley fucking Biers is. That motherfucker knows exactly what he's doing and I'm putting a stop to it."

His eyes were full of anger and his body was coiled up ready to pounce.

"You're blowing a gasket. That fucker is being too slick for Bella to see what he's doing. She has no idea."

"Yeah well I'm going to give her one." He turned around to head for his room, "and if she wants him more than she wants me then I might as well hear it in person. God knows she subconsciously wants to break up with me!"

"Fuck my life." I gritted out once he slammed the door so hard the frame shook.

~.~.~.

"You're being stupid, you know?" I told him as we made our way into the busy terminal at the Lebanon Municipal Airport nine miles from our apartment. I always felt like I was going to Lebanon, the country every time I thought about the airport near Lebanon, New Hampshire.

"Maybe." Edward clenched his teeth. He had been an insufferable, monosyllabic ball of jealous rage for the last three days tightening by the day.

"Don't do anything rash." I told him knowing full well Edward Cullen was not one to listen to reason when he got into his 'corner,' the place I dubbed where he had tunnel vision and focused solely on getting what he wanted. _Which was more often than naught._

"Sure."

"Edward, Chief Swan is there for the weekend too you know?" I reminded him of his girlfriend's gun-trotting father.

"I know." That didn't faze him like I hoped, "trust me I know."

"What are you going to do? Ruin her eighteenth birthday in front of her father because some jerk is closing in on your girl?"

"Haven't thought of it."

"You have five hours to think about it and study for-"

"MCATs. I know, I know Mom." He interrupted me with annoyance. Because of the size of both Lebenon and Stewart Airports he would have to change planes in Philadelphia and Boston.

"One of us has to be the responsible one." I countered knowing he couldn't come back with anything witty. He didn't answer and fixed the strap on his carry-on bag. He'd only packed for three days and was carrying a few textbooks, his laptop and three notebooks full of medical jargon.

We checked in his luggage and said our goodbyes.

"Take care of the cat." He told me with a grin.

"What cat?" I panicked, _when the hell did we get a cat? Did I forget to feed it? Did it die?_

"That's why we don't have a cat." He laughed, obviously trying to clear the air between us before he checked in. I punched him in the arm, hard. "Fuck," he winced rubbing it furiously.

"That's what you get motherfucker."

"Yeah well you would probably kill the cat if he did have one."

"Get on that fucking plane, get your woman and fuck her senseless." I laughed feeling a pang of jealousy. _That reminds me, I need to finish that mock-up spreadsheet before signing in._

Alice had asked me to help tutor her in her Econ class at Parsons. When I asked her why she was taking Economy at a fashion school she told me about the business side of the industry. I was properly embarrassed for asking such a dumb question but thankfully she just laughed about it over the phone.

Instead of sending our long distance phone bills up the wall we decided to do our study sessions over _AOL_ even though we needed to cut the phone line to do so.

Edward blushed in front of me, "I just hope I can last." He whispered.

He was still embarrassed about admitting he'd come too soon when he and Bella lost it to each other last July.

After finding out that Bella had deviously tried to get him drunk so he could sleep with her made me rethink my idea of her.

I'd always thought she was a quiet, innocent thing but not so much. It made me like her more.

"I told you it wasn't going to be perfect the first time." I sighed, reminding him of our serious bro talks. "Emmett told you the same thing."

"I know but I thought with all that practice before-"

"Your hand, her hand and her mouth are nothing like the real thing." I spoke candidly. He and I had a no-holds-barred policy when it came to our serious discussions.

Of course the whole I'm-into-your-sister-thing didn't factor in and I hoped he would forgive me when he did find out.

Putting my inner war aside I focused on him. "Now, you weren't able to do it again after the first time because of Ali's move to NYC but seriously man, make it special for her birthday."

"I'm still mad at her."

"She doesn't know you're mad at her."

"I want to tell her in person and besides I can't think of sleeping with her again if there's the possibility of Biers stepping in."

"I agree," I nodded handing him his black roll-on suitcase with his heavy study supplies. "Talk to her before anything else. Put everything on the table and hope she does too."

"Okay."

"Just don't do it in front of Chief Swan, he would kill you."

"Literally." He added darkly before we bro-hugged goodbye and pounded our shoulders so we wouldn't look like pussies.

"See you."

"Have a safe flight."

~.~.~.

**_Ali's Late! _**_has signed in!_

My heart beat once when the little _ping_ sounded off my desktop's speakers. I'd rushed home, ordered a pizza and finished studying before signing on _AOL_ half an hour early before our agreed time.

I thought about being the first one to speak… I mean type. Talk. Whatever. She beat me to it though.

**_Ali's Late!_**_: hey Jazz! Wat r u up 2?_

**_Jazzman84_****: **_nothing much. U?_

**_Ali's Late!_**_: Rose just got home 4m skol. She has a l8 class._

I wasn't new to initialization but I was still learning, apparently Alice's knowledge was vaster than mine.

**_Jazzman84: _**_dat sux. Wat class?_

**_Ali's Late!_**_: Concepts._

What the fuck does that entail? What type of concepts? I didn't really want to ask in risk of sounding stupid again so I just moved on.

**_Jazzman84_**_: How r ur classes going? Did u hav econ 2day?_

**_Ali's Late_**_: I didn't but I still need 2 study 4 it! Care 2 help me? :)_

She was being coy and I didn't mind one bit. Actually, it was the superficial reason why _I _was there.

I wanted to help her in class, show off my skills and be her savior but I mostly wanted to talk to her, Even if it meant talking about supply and demand; but seeing that smiley face looking back at me made me smile wildly. I imagined her smiling at me, in front of me and it spurred me on.

**_Jazzman84: _**_Of course! Wat is it ur having most trouble w/?_

**_Ali's Late_****: **_Everything. Bella and Rose are the econ whizzes but B's not here n R's showering now._

**_Ali's Late: _**_I mean she's sleeping._

**_Jazzman84: _**_stupid typos rite?_

**_Ali's Late: _**_rite._

**_Ali's Late_**_: So tell me, any hot girls 2 brag about over there in NH ;)_

Alice always asked me about my love life whenever we spoke after not talking for a bit. I knew I had some kind of Casanova reputation with her since she'd never dated. _Something that both thrills me and scares me._

She would giggle and nudge me in the ribs when she asked and my answer was mostly the same: no.

**_Jazzman84: _**_no :( no one cares_

**_Ali's Late_**_: awww I care_

Holy shit.

**_Ali's Late_**_: I mean like a friend_

_Oh._ I deflated right away and feeling like the biggest dumbass in the world. Of course like a 'friend,' of course.

**_Jazzman84_**_: I know :) ur awesome!_

Play it cool Whitlock. Play it cool.

**_Ali's Late_**_: so no girls 2 take 4 coffee at the local café?_

**_Jazzman84:_**_ nope_

Lies.

**_Jazzman84: _**_Wat about u? no hot guy to take u on a boat n make u queen of the world?_

Did I just inadvertently admit I've watched _Titanic_? I think I did. But then again so has every single fucking person in the world and their mother, dog and chicken.

**_Ali's Late_**_: no :( I'm not queen of anything._

Thinking of the _Alice in Wonderland _theme she was going for with her screenname I typed,

**_Jazzman84_**_: ur the Queen my Hearts_

**_Ali's Late_**_: Jazz?_

**_Jazzman84_**_: Of! I meant of!_

**_Ali's Late: _**_Oh OF course! Ha ha ha stupid typos rite?_

**_Jazzman84_**_: yea sorry :( stil getting used 2 it_

**_Jazzman84_**_: still* (case n point)_

**_Ali's Late_**_: ha ha ha dat's funny!_

**_Ali's Late_**_: I guess it's time 2 study huh?_

Feeling a little down that she was bringing us back to her tutoring but knowing that was the only reason why she was talking to me then I agreed.

**Jazzman84**_: sure :) wat r ur questions?_

We spent the next two hours talking about Econ and math, she needed a little extra help with the algebra involved but nothing I should have been surprised about. Soon we were signing off and saying goodnight.

**_Ali's Late_**_: Gotta go Rose wants 2 eat n since B's not here we have 2 order out. We don't kno how 2 cook LOL_

I stared at the last acronym remembering how Granddaddy Whitlock used to sign his love letters to Grandmommy Jane when they were going together.

_Lots of love, D. J. Whitlock._

I knew Alice meant it as 'laugh out loud,' but that acronym would forever mean 'lots of love' to me.

**_Jazzman84_**_: LOL Ali. I know at u mean Edward's lucky he's w/ Bella I luv her pastries_

**_Ali's Late_**_: yeah I feel bad 4 not going up 2 c her on her bday but Rose n I plan 2 go nxt wknd 2 make up 4 it_

**_Jazzman84_**_: dat's good give her a hug 4 me :)_

**_Ali's Late_**_: wat n no hug 4 me? :'(_

**_Jazzman84_**_: of course not! a HUGE hug 4 u!_

**_Jazzman84: _**_n Rose!_

**_Ali's Late_**_: :)_

**_Jazzman84_**_: :)_

I was smiling from ear to ear as I re-read the last five lines, I bit my lip and typed away,

**_Jazzman84_**_: Well darlin gotta go I'll c u l8r rite?_

**_Ali's Late_**_: yeah soon :) bye Jazzman_

**_Jazzman84_**_: sweet dreams, sweet thing :D_

**_Ali's Late_**_: :)_

I thanked the powers above for making me Southern. Actually I thanked them every day for it but more so that night. I loved getting away with the typical southern terms of endearment I threw at her every time we spoke.

I powered down the desktop, and saw two voicemails waiting for me.

They were both from David, my father. _"Jasper Whitlock why in the hell aren't you answerin' your phone? I've been tryin' to call you all fucking evening! Call me back immediately will you?"_

"_Why isn't my phone ringin' and yours is? Oh right because you haven't called me you little ingrate! Call me or else! It's about Daddy's will!"_

Of course it was.

_Delete. _And _delete._

I was on an Alice high and David wasn't going to bring me down from it. No sir.

~.~.~.

**EmPOV**

"Fuck my life." I whispered between my teeth. The drawings I'd drafted earlier in the day were not accurate to the wood and paper model I was expected to assemble in a week.

_I need a drink or ten._

I was at home in my apartment after deciding to try and work from home. It had been an uphill battle with my boss Ben Chaney. But then he remembered that I'd graduated _suma cum laude_ at Woodbury University _and _was the top junior architect at _Chaney & Banner_ he let me have my way.

I rushing down the stairs from my mezzanine bedroom where I had everything laid out and into the kitchen for water.

I drank two glasses and went into my ultra-modern post-war living room with bay windows looking out into Seattle at night.

I'd been working non-stop since coming back from Los Angeles and I needed a good break. As an unlicensed junior architect I was expected to follow instructions and keep my head down. _Yeah right._ I scoffed letting myself fall on my dark blue sectional and put my feet up on my glass coffee table. _Mom would kill me but then again this is my house._ I was twenty-three with a college degree, an apartment but still thought of Mom.

I admit it.

I grinned to myself.

I grabbed the phone and called her. "_Cullen residence."_

"Hey Eli." I greeted my parent's housekeeper and one-time nanny, Eliza.

"_Hey Emmett, nice of you to call. Edward and Alice haven't called all week and your Mom is mad."_

"They haven't?" I whistled feeling bad for them and thanking my Mommyitis for reminding me to. I wasn't a fan of Esme Cullen's ire.

"No, oh wait here she is."

"_Emmett Matthew Masen Cullen!" _

Fuck, she was mad.

"_I haven't heard from you in two weeks, where have you been?!"_ She shrieked into my ear forcing me to pull away my receiver.

Mom was going through really bad empty nest syndrome and being the one closest to her, I carried the brunt of it all. "Hey Mom, sorry about not calling. I've been swamped at work."

"_I haven't seen you since Labor Day weekend. Are you planning to come over this Sunday?"_

I had plans to barhop with some coworkers but my mom didn't need to know that. "I don't know Mom," I rubbed the back of my neck thinking of a good excuse to not go home that Sunday. "I have to finish a model for a project in Spokane and I doubt I'll have time to go down."

"_Are you the only one they have doing this project?"_

"N-no…"

"_Because if they are, I want you out. What kind of reputable firm has one junior architect in charge for any kind of project?"_

"Mom you and I both know I need real life experience before I can take my licensing exams. I need to deal with all sorts of problems and stuff."

"'_And stuff'? Emmett, your father and I didn't pay out-of-state tuition to a private university for you to use such sub-par vocabulary."_

I rolled my eyes, thankful she wasn't there to reprimand me for doing something she hated. "Sorry, sorry I meant 'issues', 'scenarios.'" I offered.

"_Hmmm…"_

"How about I go down next weekend after next, Saturday and Sunday?" I wagered hoping to get off the chopping block. I knew she was being extra difficult because my siblings weren't calling her from out east. _Little fuckers._

"_Okay."_ She relented sounding suspicious, _"you better come by Friday that way I get two nights instead of one."_

"Mom…"

"_Friday, Emmett. I expect you here before dinner time. We'll be having your favorite: grilled chicken, with mashed potatoes and green beans."_

"With gravy like Bella used to make?"

"_Yes even though I'm a little jealous her recipe is better than mine."_

"Sorry Mom." I blushed feeling stupid for accidentally letting it slip I liked Bella's gravy better than hers.

"_It's okay honey. Bella's talented and that's why she's at CIA."_

"I love your double fudge cake though…" I hinted hoping that it would make up for my faux pas and hint that's what I wanted for dessert.

"_Oh that's right. I'll make it for you too."_

"Great, Mom." I grinned from ear to ear, making me miss her a bit.

"_I'll see you next week."_

"Say _hi_ to Dad please?"

_"I will."_

"Love you."

"_Love you too."_

I hung up and dialed New Hampshire, Edward was in for it. The phone rang three times before Jasper answered it groggily. "Mac Daddy residence."

"Why the fuck do you always answer it like that?" I laughed.

"_Because it's true. What's up, Em?"_

"May I speak to Edward?"

"_He's not here, he's in Hyde Park with Bella." _He told me in between yawning. "He arrived an hour ago."

_Oh right. Her birthday, damn_. "Don't tell me you're asleep," I checked my watch and added three, "at eleven thirty on a Friday." I chortled good-naturedly.

"_Long fucking day man and besides I had a shitload of work to do today."_ He griped. I laughed harder, "no one to fuck then?"

"_I should be asking you the same thing," _he shot back_. "What are you doing home at eight thirty on a Friday night?"_ He sounded smug.

"Work."

"_Right."_ He laughed himself.

"Let's face it, Edward's the only one getting some huh?"

"_I doubt it."_ Jazz's voice became serious, _"he wasn't happy when he boarded the plane."_ That piqued my interest.

"Why's that?"

"_Not my place to say, man."_ He sighed, _"call Alice though. She's still up as of an hour and a half ago."_

"How do you know?"

"_I spoke to her a little while ago and from what she's told me, she and Rose don't go to sleep until after midnight."_

"You speak to Alice a lot huh?" I asked point blank because unlike them. I could see the little looks they each gave each other and how one jumped when the other one spoke. They reminded me of Edward and Bella so I hadn't said anything to them, up until now.

Alice was my baby sister and I expected nothing but respect from possible boyfriends. I was sure to let Jasper know.

"_What?"_ He stuttered catching on to my serious tone.

"It's cool man, I don't mind. Just as long as you keep it clean."

"_Emmett…"_

"Shut up and let me call her." I felt myself laugh again, "just remember to stay true to your southern manners."

He let out a weird yelp before I hung up. I laughed at my ability to leave him speechless; I loved being the older one of the group.

I called Alice's apartment like I told Jasper.

"_Who the fuck is calling near midnight?"_ The angry voice of Rosalie Hale met me after two rings. I grinned, realizing I missed her sharp tongue.

"I'm sorry for not feeling sorry Rose."

"_Emmett?"_

"The one and only."

"_Oh."_ I could hear her deflate making me chuckle, I was laughing a lot that night. "May I speak to Alice?"

"_She knocked out ten minutes ago."_ She told me sounding weird herself. _What's up with that?_

"What are you doing up so late?" My curiosity beat me to it and the question was out before I could stop it.

"_Studying. Interior design is a bitch."_ She informed me, I grinned feeling a sort of kinship to her. Interior design was close to my heart because of the architectural aspect. "I personally like interior design. I considered it as a minor when I was thinking of going to graduate school."

"_Yeah."_ She sounded sleepy, her voice was all breathy and shit. _"You told me when your mom told you I'd decided on it."_

"Do you like it though?"

"_Yeah I do. I like the idea of dressing up a room however you want and making your own furniture portrait."_

I quirked an eyebrow, "that's interesting. I would have never thought of it that way."

"_Yeah,"_ she giggled, _"I'm kind of weird like that."_

"I didn't say you were weird, kid. I said that was interesting as in 'cool.' That's a cool concept."

"_Ugh. Don't talk to me about concepts. I hate that stupid class. I got home three hours ago and the lecture was the most boring thing I've ever had to sit through."_

"Welcome to college, kid." I laughed, feeling nostalgia and relief that I didn't have to deal with school, professors and homework anymore. Now I have bosses, coworkers and problems.

"_I'm not a kid Emmett!"_

"You're five years younger than me, you're a kid." I loved getting under her skin. Rosalie knew how to dish it and take it but it was so fun watching her fluster.

"_Fuck you Emmett Cullen, I'm eight-fucking-teen. I'm an adult."_

"Riiiiggghhhhttt." This was too much fun.

"_I'm going to sleep you oaf. Have a good night and I'll tell Alice you called."_

"Bye… kid."

She growled like a jungle cat before I heard the line disconnect. I guffawed really fucking hard, _I should call her more often. That was fun._

Deciding that I had no life, didn't want to go back to work and still had a bone to pick with my little brother I decided to call his cellphone. Something that hadn't occurred to me to do before calling his apartment.

The phone rang until it sent me to voicemail. _Oh no bitch, you ain't getting away._

I called again, and again and again until he finally answered. _"What the fuck do you want Emmett?"_ He growled into the phone sounding out of breath and fucking angry.

"Woah, woah, woah little brother is that how you answer a call from your lovable older brother?"

"_What's up?"_ I heard a giggle in the background. Grinning to myself and feeling a little proud of him. "Is Bella keeping you up?" I asked thickly.

"_Shut the fuck up and tell me what's up?"_

"You haven't called Mom and she fucking chewed me up for it."

"_I'll call her tomorrow."_ He told me while I heard movement in the back. I might have been proud of Edward but I didn't want to know what little Bella Swan was up to. It was a weird dichotomy I had with those two.

"_Emmett hang up already, you're ruining my birthday!"_

_Well, well, well little Bella Swan._

"Tell Bella Ella I want her to behave herself."

_"I doubt she can behave, Emmett,"_ Edward told me darkly and salaciously. Okay I did not need to know. _"Now, big brother, if that's all I'm hanging up now. My girlfriend's celebrating her birthday and I can't neglect her like that."_

* * *

**I've wanted to write a JPOV and an EmPOV for a while now and I'm glad I did :) Writing about AOL made me all kinds of nostalgic. Didn't use it much but it does bring back nice memories.**

**I won't be updating my blog today because my laptop is being stupid and it's barely letting me type this up. **

**If you have a Twitter account and want to chat I'm ilithyae, thank you to all of you who've added me there. And a bigger thank you to all of you who've dropped me line. You're hilarious and fabulous, you know who you are ;)**


	32. Some Nights

**Okay, here I am apologizing for being late. Again.**

**I was supposed to finish and update this on Friday night but work got in the way. I am soooo sorry and since most of you are probably over it, I am now barring myself from setting a specific day. Like many of you know, I don't have a set update schedule but I do try to update at least once a week.**

**I haven't written an EPOV and was waiting for the aftermath of two chapters ago to bring him back. I have to say, I've missed him!**

**To those of you whom I sent the preview to, there are some differences in the chapter that I rewrote and perfected :)**

* * *

Fun.-_ Some Nights_

* * *

_2004._

**EPOV**

I took my last drag before stepping on my burnt-out cigarette. The jealous rage I'd been experiencing for the past week had reduced during my five-hour flight and had turned into concentrated anger.

I stretched my neck, feeling temporary relief once the bubble of oxygen, nitrogen and carbon dioxide popped in my joint capsule.

I noted how my mind was becoming more technical than ever before and I heard myself chuckle in response.

I grabbed my small roll-on suitcase and adjusted the strap on my carry-on. Bella's apartment was on the second floor of a white-washed three-floor apartment building.

I wasn't into architecture like Emmett so I didn't know much of architectural styles but the building reminded me of the early 1900s. _I'll ask Emmett._ I thought in the back of my mind.

I pressed the security button, hoping the girls hadn't turned in just yet and was greeted by Jessica's disembodied voice. _'Yes?'_

"Jessica," I responded, "it's me, Edward."

'_Edward? What are you doing here?'_

"Visiting Bella—may I come up?"

'_Of course.'_ I heard the door unlock as soon as the word came through the intercom. I let myself in and dragged my stuff up the small carpeted staircase. I recognized the typical apartment building smell of stale air, mold and what I guessed was air freshener to combat it.

I reached Bella's landing—the apartment took up the whole floor just like the other two, and as soon as I was about to knock the door flew open.

Bella was dressed in ratty old sweats and a hoodie. Flashbacks to our childhood when she only wore jeans, a hoodie and Converse passed through my mind before she greeted me. "Edward! You're here!"

"I am. I wanted to surprise-" She didn't allow me to explain myself and threw herself on me. I let go of my suitcase and caught her. The anger I felt began to cool, and a bit of relief washed over me making me hug her fiercely.

The scent of freesias, sugar and chocolate greeted me and made my mouth water automatically.

"I thought you were coming next week!" She pulled away, keeping her lower body against mine and her arms around my neck.

"Change in plans?" It came out more of a question than a statement. She grinned and grabbed my suitcase.

"Come on. Charlie doesn't get here until eleven a.m. He wasn't able to book anything sooner."

_Charlie._ I heaved a sigh of relief and suddenly remembered Bella's overprotective-Chief-of-Police-father. _But then again, how could I forget?_

"Take off your bag." Bella ordered me as she opened the coat closet and stewed away my suitcase. "I just wanted to see you before I head to the Motel 6." I informed her, noting Jessica watching me from the hallway that led to the bedrooms. "Hey Jessica."

She squeaked and walked into the main room, "hey Edward. Good to see you again." Jessica was a girl-next-door that lost some of her sparkle. She wasn't ugly but she wasn't a standout like Bella. I knew I was being harsh by thinking this but I couldn't help it. I held every brunette to Bella's standards and not everyone had such glossy, soft and straight brown hair like her.

Bella was fuller, but her skin had a glow that Jessica's smaller frame didn't, and her big eyes shone brighter than Jessica's almond ones.

"Kate went to bed early, you'll see her tomorrow." Bella informed me as she put my stuff away.

I nodded and dug my hands into my pockets feeling awkward. I'd planned to confront her about her relationship with Biers but like most people after few hours, my rage had weakened. I still planned to talk to her but I wasn't so gung-ho about it.

"What something to eat?" Bella grabbed my hand and walked me over to sit on her small white sofa.

"I ate at the airport." I told her not really interested in food. She frowned at this but I cut her would-be reprimand, "can we turn in?" I asked not wanting to offend Jessica who still stood by the hallway.

"Sure, Edward. Do you have your pajamas?"

"In my carry-on." I got up and grabbed my bag from inside the little closet. I stretched and cracked my back, sighing once again at the temporary relief.

"Isn't that bad for you?" Jessica asked as I made my way back to Bella. I grinned at the common question. "It's not something doctors recommend but I've been on the go for a few hours now."

"Let's go to my room." Bella wrapped her arm around my body and walked me to her room. "Will you turn off the lights for me Jess? Thanks."

We walked down the darkened corridor and turned the corner, "I'm glad you made it for my actual birthday." She whispered into my ear and I almost forgot what propelled me to do so. We reached her door and opened it for me. "Gentlemen first."

I couldn't help but chuckle, "thank you, Madam."

"My pleasure, Sir."

I stepped inside and noticed an empty tequila bottle on top of a chestnut dresser off to the side of the bed. It served as a flower vase with little yellow daisies, white geraniums and green ivy. "Interesting vase." I complimented not knowing what else to say.

"Recognize the bottle?" She asked playfully.

"Is it _the bottle_?" I asked sitting down and realizing indeed it was; her tone told me as much.

"Yes." She sing-sang, skipping two steps and brought it over to me for a closer look. "I washed it and decided to do something about it." She handed it to me and I looked it over, recognizing the familiar bumblebee dead center. "I don't want to throw it away."

I looked at her and gave her a tight smile. Her eyes narrowed and sat down next to me, "what's up?"

I handed her the bottle-turned-vase not wanting to drop it remembering that I almost broke it the day I got drunk off of it. The tequila had seeped out while we were _otherwise_ engaged. According to Bella, her room smelled of tequila for three days before they called a carpet cleaner.

"How's CIA?"

"Good, I have great classes and my few months at _Alexandria_ have really helped." She smiled but I could tell she wasn't dropping the subject of my mood.

"I'm glad." I stood up and took off my shirt. I noticed her eyes dilated as she took me in. "How's the bistro doing?" _I guess she still finds me appealing…_

She groaned in response to my question, throwing her body backwards onto the bed, "don't remind me. Alec allowed me a day off tomorrow so I can't really complain."

"That's good." I nodded unbuckling my belt, her neck snapped up and watched me drop my jeans. She swallowed not taking her eyes away from me. "I need to call Jasper and let him now I'm here."

"Okay." I picked up my jeans and draped them over her small desk chair. I dug around my black satchel and found my cellphone. I turned it on and called Jazz, "just wanted to tell you I've arrived in Hyde Park."

"_That's good. Please tell me you're over it."_

"No not really. Call you later."

"_Edward,"_ he sighed, _"don't be stupid and get to the point without blowing a gasket."_

"Sure." I could feel Bella watching me and trying to gauge the undercurrent of my mood. "Sleep well."

"_Good luck."_

I hung up and turned back around. She frowned again and stood up, "I don't know why I feel like you're mad at me." She raked her hands in my hair, I involuntarily groaned since the sensation of her nails tickling my scalp was one of my favorites. It also gave me an instant boner.

She stood on her bare tiptoes, our noses touched and eyes met. "Are you mad at me?"

"Yes." I whispered deciding to go for all honesty.

She looked lost at sea, "why?"

"How's Riley Biers?" I questioned hoping to give her a hint and see how much she knew about my problem.

"He's… good…" She fell back on the balls of her feet letting my hair go but leaving her hands on my shoulders. "What does he have to do with you being angry with me?"

I sighed, placing my hands on her hips and gently pushing her away. She grasped my shoulders and scowled shaking her head. I rolled my eyes, "I don't like how he asks you out… and I hate how you accept."

"Accept what?"

"Accept his advances."

She stepped away from me after insisting we continue touching. She dropped her chin and crossed her arms. I tried to keep my eyes on hers even though they wanted to drop and watch her perky tits become even perkier now that her arms pushed them up.

"I do _not _accept his advances." She countered, her lips coming together and pursing. I laughed lightly, "baby, come on."

"No, don't _'baby, come on' _me, Edward Cullen. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

I inhaled sharply feeling the anger bubble inside. "Bella, how could you not see that Biers is interested in you?"

"He is not interested in me." She tried coming across as definitive but something about her voice told me otherwise. I narrowed my eyes and took a step forward. "Tell me the truth."

"I am!" She stomped her foot and turned around away from me. _I don't like this._

"No you're not." I side-stepped her and forced her to look at me, "has he given any inclination that he's into you?"

She bit her lip and looked down. I felt my heart breaking but I stayed resilient, _this will not break me._

My traitorous mind conjured up familiar images of them together in a darkened theater watching a scary movie as she leaned into him and he reveled in the attention…Biers walking her home at night and sharing stupid industry jokes… Bella clapping in delighted surprise from his little tokens or whatever the fuck.

"He hasn't." She brought me back from the replayed scenes that'd been running through my mind for weeks now. "But Kate did mention…"

"That…" I insisted, hoping she would grab the line.

"That he might be interested." She looked up, suddenly reeling. "Come on Edward. Who could be interested in me?" There was nothing but sarcastic denial in her voice.

"Me?"

"Besides you." She rolled her eyes and went back to sit on her bed only to get up and circle it. It now stood between us like a fake barrier.

I laughed mirthlessly feeling sort of insulted. "I'm sorry Blue," I was starting to like her new nickname I'd dubbed, "but I would brag about it if I were you."

"Oh?"

"Yes." I nodded, "I mean I'm a pretty good catch if I do say so myself."

"Excuse me, Mr. Full-of-It but are you saying I should thank you for bestowing your attention upon my plain self?" Sarcasm and incredulity laced her voice.

"I didn't say that." I shook my head, the anger seeping in mine. "All I'm saying is that having me fall for you should be proof enough that you're a desirable girl." She cocked an eyebrow, crossing her arms again and scoffing.

"Because you're King Edward, the Insufferable?"

"Because I'm King Edward, The Great."

"_The Great_? Are you fucking with me?" She let out a high-pitched laugh and began looking around her room. "Am I on _Candid Camera_ or did you get The WB to bring back Jamie Kennedy for one last hurrah after his cancellation?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh I know," she practically yelled over me, "you got Ashton Kutcher to do a non-celebrity_ Punk'd_."

"Bella, what the fuck-"

She stepped around her bed and came toward me, "tell me it's one of those ridiculous reasons why you're saying I'm lucky you've bestowed yourself upon me!"

"It's none of those reasons and yes! Yes you should be happy I'm interested in you, Bella fucking Swan!" I lost my tempter throwing it all away. "You should feel lucky because I give you everything I fucking have inside of me! You should feel lucky because I'm willing to come to you over land and over air! You should feel lucky because even though I've confronted you about subconsciously wanting to break up with me, I'm still here! You should feel lucky that even though there are idiots trying to get between us, I've fought them all!"

She stepped back, not afraid of me but more in shock. I went on, "wanna know a secret, baby?" Flashbacks of Mike Newton and I arguing over Bella last summer ran like a movie in my mind. "Mike and I ran into each other when you were in Port Angeles last summer and guess what? He told me to stop seeing you. Guess why?"

She stayed speechless and I was silently thankful because it was a rhetorical question. "He was into you!"

Her mouth dropped, I chuckled dryly. _Of course she had no idea._

"Now you're going to say I'm crazy. 'How can anyone like me? Me interested in me,' and all that jazz right, Bella?"

"I-I don't-"

"Don't finish that sentence because you're only lying to yourself." I exhaled violently through my teeth and went on. "I told him to back off and we almost exchanged a few blows if it hadn't been for Yorkie and Harkin whom got in the way. But trust me Bella, Mike wanted you."

She looked at the floor, eyes wide and distrustful.

"And little Jacob Black." I chuckled darkly, "he came up to me right after our trip to LA and I asked him if he liked you."

"You didn't…"

"I did. Guess what hetold me." This time I wanted her to humor me. She swallowed and said nothing. I didn't let this faze me and answered for her, "he told me he did and he'd asked you out before we started dating. Says I 'stole' you away from him and that I'd played dirty to get you.

My favorite part though is the fact that he asked you out and you never told me this."

"I didn't owe you an explanation, Edward." She spat back angrily. "We weren't together then."

"It still would've been nice to know."

"You already knew he had a crush on me. I hid nothing from you and besides what does this have to do with Riley?"

"It has everything to do with Riley, baby." I told her matter-of-factly. "You can't play the naïve card any longer. I've given you two examples, no three and now _four, _that guys find you attractive."

"Four?"

"Newton, Jacob, Biers and myself."

"Riley is just a friend."

"A friend that wants to fuck you." I corrected, she glared at me from her position and turned her chin to me.

"I've never accepted his advances."

"By you agreeing to go see a movie with him or having him walk you home, you give him hope."

She laughed throwing her arms in the air, "how do you figure?"

"I'm a guy. I know guys just like I know Riley. You open a window and he'll open the door. You give him a foot and he'll take a mile. You smile at him and he'll want to kiss you."

"Okay stop with the horrible-"

"No you stop." I cut her off not caring about my figurative language. I wanted to make my point across and I was going to finish. "Admit it to me."

"What?"

"Admit that you know Biers is into you."

"I don't know this for a fact, Edward!" She exclaimed, coming over to me and poking me with her finger. I took her hand and wrapped my arm around her waist and pushed her upwards. She inhaled loudly in response.

"Kate sees it, Jasper sees it, I see it."

"Jasper sees it?"

"Yes." I nodded gravely, "I bet you, you've mentioned his attention to Alice and Rose and I'm willing to call them right now and ask them if they agree."

She tried to pull away, "you're an idiot!"

"How much do you want to bet? You know I don't make bets unless I know for a fact I'll win." I held on to her even though I knew she wouldn't be able to push me away. She huffed and half-heartedly wiggled against me. "Just admit it." I whispered feeling my defenses begin to crumble.

She looked up at me with her big warm eyes and her shoulders fell. "Okay maybe I _do _blind myself." She whispered into my chest. I pushed her chin up wanting to see straight into her eyes and to try and see what was going on in her head that she wasn't telling me.

"I've told you this…"

"I know." She whispered, her eyes shining, "I won't talk to him unless it's absolutely necessary."

"No," I shook my head even though the green monster in me wanted to make that a fact. "I can't force you to do that. I would be a horrible person if I did."

"But it upsets you that I do… I don't know how to prove it to you that I only care about you."

"Just say no when he wants alone time with you." I could feel the honorable side in me begin to protest. The request wasn't much better but what was I to do? Go up to Biers and demand he leave her alone? I may have been immature but I wasn't petty.

Newton and Jacob had been run-ins and they'd offered their secrets to me without much influence. I wouldn't fall to the level of seeking out Biers— I was too good for that.

"Okay." Bella nodded, watching me and looking like a bashful little girl.

"I love you and if you want to be friends with him, by all means do so." I told her, "just be aware of his advances." Then the dark thought formed into words, "unless you want to reciprocate… and if you do… let me know… but be gentle…"

I expected her to agree or to disagree with me and tell me how much she loved me. Instead I found myself turned to the side, hearing a loud pop coming from my neck and my cheek beginning to warm after a loud _smack!_

I blinked twice trying to assess what'd just happened.

"Don't you ever say that again." She seethed. "Don't you _ever_ say _that_ again, Edward Cullen."

I blinked again turning my head to the side so I could see her again. My hand crept up to my cheek and felt a warm stinging sensation. "Did you just…?"

"Yes."

I blinked again. "Oh."

Her eyes her full of unushered tears, "here I am feeling horrible for saying _yes_ and making you question my loyalty and feelings for you and here you are, jumping to the conclusion that I'm interested in him!"

She was pissed. Her hair was wild and frizzy, glossy eyes popping with rage and grief. She took a step forward and I took a step back feeling my body come close to the edge of the bed. "I love you, you idiot and if you want to continue believing that I'm going to dump you than you've got a whole thing coming."

"What the fuck am I supposed to believe, then?" I defied her wanting to hear it again. I needed reassurance like never before and I wasn't afraid to ask for it.

She let out a growl and pushed me into the bed. Before I could respond she was on top of me and my boxers were coming off. _This is becoming a 'thing' isn't it?_

"My birthday's in half an hour. You better make it memorable."

My head swam trying to assess everything that's happened. Like a switch I flipped her on her back and filled my hands with her wonderful tits. Unfortunately her hoodie was in the way and I asked her to take it off.

She took off her sweater and t-shirt in one fell swoop leaving her there with a light camisole bra. I smiled staring at the soft, thin fabric that didn't hide the perky peaks. I licked my lips and sucked on the left while fondling the right. Bella pushed her upper body into me, sighing.

After a few passes I pushed the fabric aside and became reacquainted with her bare breasts. I felt my blood begin to head south and my dick harden. "Bella, touch me." I asked her. The idea of her touching me while I touched her, drove me fucking crazy.

She complied and dragged a fingernail up my base, the length of my shaft and over again. I shivered into her creamy skin, beginning to suck. I liked hickies and I loved seeing them on her.

"Not visible." She moaned as her hand gripped me lightly and lazily underneath me.

"What do you mean?"

"Charlie arrives tomorrow."

I'd completely forgotten about Charlie, thanking her silently for having the foresight to remind me. I was in a weird, shamefully possessive mood and knowing me I would have left love bites in visible places.

"Got it." I reassured her going back to work on her breasts.

"Edward." She mewled above me after a few minutes of touching.

"Hmmm?" I expected her to request something. Maybe to move on to her beautiful pussy lips that were currently soaked and were calling out to me or how she wanted to be taken against the wall like I'd always imagined. I was up for anything. Horrible pun intended.

"Your phone's ringing."

I lifted my face from her adorable belly button and looked at her in surprise.

"I didn't hear it."

"It's been ringing for a minute now." She giggled breathlessly, bringing her hand to rake over my messy hair. I leaned to the side, sighing. I loved it when she did that. "Look at the time, it could be important."

"If it was important, they would have called the landline."

"Check who it is." She insisted in a more serious tone. I sighed, reluctantly getting up to check. I bent over to grab it from my bag only to hear her take a sharp intake of breath. I looked over at her realizing that I was giving her a perfect view of my ass.

I gave her a cheeky grin and wiggled it. She laughed throwing her hand over her mouth. I retrieved my stupid phone just when the call was sent to voicemail, noticing it was Emmett. I shrugged and put the phone on the side table.

I went back to the siren that was sprawled out before me thinking of new things we hadn't tried before and wondered if she was game.

My fucking phone began to ring again, I groaned.

"Answer it, Edward." She told me, clearly knowing where my mind was going.

"He's ruining my mood." I pointed to my semi-deflated dick which had been raging and at full mast before my brother decided to cockblock me three thousand miles away.

"Answer it, see what he needs and then we'll get back to it." She promised with a glint in her eye and voice thick with promise. I couldn't help it, I jumped her and kissed her savagely.

Teeth clanked, tongues met, bites were involved and a lot of groping. I could feel her hear beating against her skin and it made mine beat faster.

She pulled away after a moment, she was flushed and looked absolutely beautiful. "He keeps calling. Go." I groaned again like a petulant child and picked it up after the fifth try. "What the fuck do you want Emmett?"

"_Whoa, whoa, whoa little brother is that how you answer a call from your lovable older brother?_" Emmett's booming voice came through my phone and I rolled my eyes at his teasing tone. _Ugh. Cockblocker._

"What's up?" I looked over at Bella with a lungful look, she giggled at my expense.

"_Is Bella keeping you up?"_ Emmett asked curiously and full of innuendo. I had no time for a ribbing and I wanted to get back to where she and I had left off. Immediately.

"Shut the fuck up and tell me what's up."

"_You haven't called Mom and she fucking chewed me up for it."_

"I'll call her tomorrow." I rolled my eyes. Knowing Emmett he'd only insisted on calling me as pay back for Mom's possible guilt trip that, I'd admit, I deserved.

"Emmett hang up already, you're ruining my birthday!" Bella got up from her bed and must have seen that the call was anything but important. I grinned at her, glad that she was just as annoyed with him as I was. We could have been finishing something very important.

"_Tell Bella Ella I want her to behave herself."_

I wanted to laugh at this but I held it in. I wrapped my arm around her waist and held her to me as she played with the tips of my hair looking all sexy and wanting. It brought my cock back to life and I desperately needed to get off the phone.

"I doubt she can behave, Emmett." I glanced at the clock and grinned to myself and then to Bella who bit her lip hard. "Now big brother, if that's all, I'm hanging up now. My girlfriend's celebrating her birthday and I can't neglect her like that."

I hit _End _and turned it off not wishing for an interruption. "It's my birthday." She whispered into my lips.

"What does the birthday girl want and where does she want it?"

"I want your dick," she drawled sensually, her eyes staring up at mine while her dainty fingertip dragged down my sensitive skin. "I want your dick in my…"

"Say it…" _Fuck. Her dirty talking is going to make me blow before we get to the good stuff._

"Pussy." She whispered the dirty word into my lips, sending chills down the length of my body and straight to my appendage in question.

"You dirty girl." I whispered.

"Come on, baby." She grabbed my hand and walked me over to her bed, sending me a smoldering look over her shoulder. "Let's roll around in the dirt."

~.~.~.

The bed creaked, our breaths tickled our overheated skin, my dick protested wanting to let go but I fought it. This time, Bella would come before I did. I would make sure of that.

"That feels so good." She told me, her hands wrapped so tightly around my neck it was almost uncomfortable.

"It does." Was all I could say. I wanted to talk to her but my testosterone could only think of one thing and even though I was doing it, my male ego wanted to wrap itself around the fact.

"Harder."

I didn't need to respond to her with words instead I followed orders, more than happy that she wanted more.

"_Mmmm_… just like that." Her skin shone of slick sweat, her chest was full of a rosy glow, her eyes were dilated, I could feel her heartbeat beating loudly but not at a worrying rate and her breathing was labored.

She showed all the markers of a sexually aroused woman and I fucking loved it.

"Deepeer…" She moaned, I briefly wondered if it was possible for me to go any deeper. I already felt like a fucking jackhammer but if that's what she wanted…

"Oh yes…" She screamed, rolling her neck and giving me easy access to it. I began to bite it, not hard but enough for her to feel my desperation. "Fuck, Edward, yeah."

Getting a little tired of the position I spun us around so she was on top of me. She giggled and began to move. "Just like that baby, yeah." I instructed her as she began to get used to the position.

Her tits began to bounce and I thanked god every day for giving her such ample boobs. Bella's boobs deserved their own statue. Preferably life-sized and in my bedroom where I could stare at them and write poetry to them every fucking day.

I grasped her ass and guided her until she got the hand of it, she grinned when she felt me let go.

"Fuck me, oh just…"

"I am. I am fucking you Edward Cullen." She told me as-a-matter-of-fact between breaths. I grinned slapping her ass playfully. She ground her clit into my pelvic bone, her eyes rolling. _Oh so she likes that… hmm…_

My dick was weeping inside the condom, inside of her and I was reaching the familiar-

"Fuck!" I found myself willing my dick to stop and maniacally rubbed Bella's clit as I felt my body snap. Bella gasped harshly, lifted her body off of mine but I followed her. My testosterone screamed and so did I.

I yelled a version of her name getting swept up in the serotonin, testosterone, endorphins and adrenaline that was sexual gratification.

Bella fell on top of me, both of our bodies spent and even more sweaty and out of breath than before. After a long minute of recuperation, she was the first to speak. "Wow."

"I know." I began to feel the lick of disappointment and shame. Once again, I'd come before her and I wanted to kill myself for it.

"That was…"

_Disappointing? Lame? Unsatisfying? Useless?_

"That was amazing." She whispered, wrapping her arms around me and snuggling into my chest. I groaned wanting to pull away. "What's the matter?" Her voice sounded… hurt?

"You don't have to lie to me, Bella." I groused wanting to run away for the hills. Images of the happy von Trapp children and Maria made me angry. Why were they allowed to be happy and I wasn't?

"Edward, what are you talking about?" Bella reached out to me, but I was too engrossed in my argument with Maria-Julie Andrews, demanding she take her bratty little children and sing somewhere else and let me wallow in peace.

_Maybe I should move to Austria…_

"Edward, are you listening to me?" Bella's angry voice brought me back from my odd thoughts.

"What?"

"Why the fuck did you just ask me not to lie to you?" She placed her hands on her hips and fumed which made _me_ fume.

"Because I don't want you to lie to me," I snapped back. "I did it again and you don't have to lie to me."

"Why would you say that?" She asked meekly, dropping her hands and her face.

"Because I don't expect you to hold on to some stupid notion that I want false encouragement. I would prefer you tell me the truth and spare my feelings."

"Tell me straight. Don't assume I know what you're talking about." She sounded annoyed and I wondered if that was fair. I mean, she was trying to lie to me to make me feel better.

"I came before you did. I didn't let you finish." I swallowed hard, and felt the shame come back ten-fold. All of a sudden I was making stupid plans to move to the Alps.

"Oh, you stupid boy." She laughed, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. I cringed back, "you rubbed my clit you idiot or were you so focused on yourself you forgot?" She stopped laughing and told me the last bit with a smile.

"You did not come."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

She rolled her eyes again and scooted up to me, "I did too, times infinity—no multiples."

I momentarily scowled, she beat me to it but then I softened and looked at her refreshed face. Her cheeks were pink, eyes bright and open, lips swollen…

"You did come…" I marveled in a quiet voice.

"I did." She nibbled on her lip bashfully making me grin. Maria-Julie kicked me out and I was more than happy to leave that weirdo hill.

"You did."

"I did."

"Cool." I tried saying it nonchalantly but I knew she knew that wasn't what I was currently feeling.

"Again?" She asked me sounding like a Teletubby, I grinned wider at the thought of her innocent determination.

"Again."

~.~.~.

"I don't see why you're finding it hard to go out, Bells." Charlie told Bella from the breakfast table. He'd arrived late morning, thankfully hours after I left her apartment for the motel. We slept for a total of five hours since knocking out after mind-blowing sex but I felt more than refreshed. We still hadn't perfected it but we were getting there and I loved the fact that it would involve more practice.

He-he.

I felt like walking on sunshine and imagining Katrina & the Waves next to me and Bella as they sung it. Totally manly and totally awesome.

"I don't want to go out." She groaned, my girl didn't want to dress up and go out but I quietly agreed with Charlie.

"Honey, it's your birthday and your eighteenth birthday at that. Come on."

"No."

"Bella, stop acting like a child. You're a legal adult now and you should begin acting like one." Charlie argued, sending me a little glare in between.

_What the fuck was that?_

Charlie had been surprised when I 'popped' in from the airport after lunch—Bella called me and told me to make it look like I'd just arrived and not let on that I'd arrived more than twelve hours earlier.

Her roommates were keeping our secret too.

He wasn't pleased that I'd showed up but he didn't outwardly show any resistance to my staying until tomorrow night. Unfortunately for him—fortunately for me, he'd booked a flight six hours earlier giving Bella and I six hours of more celebratory/practice sex.

It was her birthday and we needed to go out with a bang. Pun intended.

What? I never said I was more mature than Bella.

"Edward," she looked over at me from her seat far, far away from me. She was sitting in one of the easy chairs and I sat on the white loveseat. Charlie had a perfect view of me and a distorted view of Bella, that's probably what he was going for and I tried not to let it get under my skin.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to stay in or go out?"

"It's not up to Edward honey," Charlie began sending me a look again. "It's up to you."

"Dad, I don't care where I eat, as long as both of you are there."

"I think we should go out. I mean it's your birthday Bella, not any other day of the week." I coaxed gently. I didn't want her to think I was brown-nosing. I did agree with Charlie but I wasn't doing it to get on his good books.

I really did want to do it big with her and staying in—albeit delicious, it also meant she would cook and I didn't want that.

She gave me a cold look, probably thinking what I feared but I kept my face impassive. Charlie was watching me like a fucking hawk and I didn't want to waver in any way shape or form.

I'd already taken his daughter way before his little 'suggestion' and I didn't want to feed his ire. Not that I wanted to let him on the secret but still.

"Two against one." Bella huffed, "fine." She got up and went to her room presumably to begin getting ready.

Jessica walked out, carrying a backpack with her. "Hey Jessica, I'm taking Bella out for her birthday." Charlie informed her, "would you and Kate like to join us?"

"No thank you Mr- I mean Chief Swan." She smiled politely, "but I have study session in an hour and Kate is off with her… boyfriend." Something told me that they used that title for Charlie's benefit and from what Bella told me little Kate Denali had a fluid relationship with Garrett.

I personally didn't care. Kate had been a good friend while I 'dated' Tanya and she and I had gotten plastered every now and then.

That's how I found out that in a jealous rage Tanya had tried to poison Kate by lacing Tupperware with Raid and marinating chicken in it.

Tanya had always held a deep resentment to Kate and her mother, Anna after Mr. Denali left an already crumbling marriage to Alexandra, Tanya's mother.

During junior year, Tanya had been asked by Anna to make dinner for her and Kate since she and Michael were going out for date night. Tanya admitted to me that she was so angry she thought of nothing but how much she and her mother had suffered at the hands of Anna.

I didn't see how Alexandra was hurt, since she had been rumored to be sleeping with every available man that would want her.

I couldn't believe what Tanya had done and checked up on Kate. She had a horrible stomachache but nothing major. I recommended she go to hospital and seriously considered calling Charlie but Tanya told me she'd come clean to Kate.

I spoke to Kate and she let me know she understood Tanya and her attention-seeking personality. "Don't worry. I'll watch my back from now on. Just don't tell anyone, I hate to be the town's flavor of the month."

I'd insisted we come clean but Kate made me swear to keep her promise, but unlike the promise I made to Charlie, I would keep Kate's.

Four years later, I was still following through, even though I still kept tabs on Psycho Tanya.

"Edward, are you coming with us?" Charlie asked me, something about his tone told me he'd been repeating himself a few times before I came back from my inner thoughts. Jessica left during my small lapse.

"I-I think so Charlie."

"Hmm." He gave me a side-glance and stood up, "I need the restroom." He told me gruffly and stalked off to the bathroom. I sighed bringing myself back and focusing on the present.

Charlie returned and sat across me, watching me closely. I stared back gathering my self-confidence. "How are you doing at Dartmouth?"

"Well," I smiled hoping he could hear my slight bragging, "very well. I've been on the Dean's List for four consecutive semesters. I hope to make it a fifth with this one."

Charlie quenched the flash of surprise in a matter of a second. Something told me it was years of practice from working with the police force for so long. It still fed my fire and I think he knew it.

"What's your GPA?"

"4.77."

He whistle involuntarily and then coughed to make up for it, I grinned wider. _I will win you over, Chief Swan, I promise you that._

"How do you keep up such a high GPA when you have to volunteer at a clinic and visit your out-of-state girlfriend at the drop of a hat?"

"I manage." I shrugged being truthful and nonchalant. Charlie looked me over and stared back, I would definitely not break under his steely glare like the common criminals he was used to.

Bella came back looking beautiful in a muted blue dress that fell right above her knew giving me a cute little glimpse of her soft thighs I knew so well. The dress was of soft, clingy jersey that made it look like the material was panted on her and I so wanted to peel it off her. The _V_-neck was teasing me with her girls peeking out just a tad.

She put on a thick black belt right under her boobs and I wondered if they would jiggle if I took it off for her.

I felt myself get hot and bothered and stopped myself from imagining her on the floor, naked since her father was watching me closely.

"You look beautiful Bella." I squeaked, Charlie narrowed his eyes at me and told her the same thing. She blushed and blew us off as she up on those gladiator heels Alice hates so much.

"Rose sent it to me from New York. They're coming next week actually." She told us as she sat down and wiggled her feet into her sandals. "Where are we going?"

"I was thinking of _Bistro Alexandria_. I want you to go as a customer not as an employee."

"Oh, Dad that'll be embarrassing!"

"No it won't, come on."

She looked at me for help but I wasn't in a talking mood, still reeling from that dress and wondered if Rose needed anything in particular at Parsons. I would send her flowers or something as a thank-you for that wonderful dress.

"Before we go," I said looking at Charlie nervously, "I wanted to give Bella her birthday gift."

"Oh?" Bella scowled, I knew she hated being put in the spotlight.

"It's not something to brag about," I began bringing it out of my pocket and asking for her hand.

"I object!" Charlie roared, "Bella you are way too young and just because you're eighteen doesn't mean you can go off and get married!"

"Dad!" Bella yelled back stopping him, I stared at him in shock letting go of the Dartmouth bracelet I'd put on her during Charlie's objection. It was Dartmouth Green fake leather with _Dartmouth _written in white. I'd seen it in the college bookstore and thought of her but I hadn't planned for it to be her birthday present. More of a 'just-because' present.

Okay I was lying. I wanted her to wear it at CIA as a sort of varsity jacket or ring, kind of like Danny and Sandy.

I imagined Riley seeing the bracelet on Bella and asking her about it only to be defeated by the little piece of fake leather forever.

_Immaturity, thy name is Edward Cullen._

"It's a fucking bracelet with his school's name on it!" She threw her hand out to him to show him. "Which I love." She added, looking at me with big Bambi eyes. I grinned knowing it was her way of correcting herself.

Charlie became red and began to stutter. "I-I… don't…" He looked at me at a loss for words and I looked at him with a lack of them.

"I just wanted her to wear my school colors…" I explained feeling oddly rejected and on the spot.

"Come on let's go!" Charlie told us gruffly, grabbing his wallet from the breakfast table and walking off.

Bella looked at me with a pained expression on her face, I immediately knew she hated the gift "I wanted to get you something better but I came over in a rush and I-" She stopped my weak explanation by kissing me languidly.

"_I love it_." She breathed into me, her tone reminding me she'd already told me that. "And just so you know, I agree with Charlie. I would be too young to get married now but who's to say it won't happen… eventually." She grinned and walked off, her ass moving in a come hither way.

_Whoa._

* * *

**********I love writing cocky Edward's insecurities in the bedroom. It's such a fun contrast between upright Edward and Bedward, no?**

**********On that note, if you like an insecure Edward and a confident Bella go and read my other story _The Cellphone Tango_ which the awesome lil hummingbird is beta'ing for me. Imagine lonelyward and a sex operator Bella and you've got the start of the story :D**


	33. Light my Fire

**Hello there. -pops head from doorway- Haven't seen you in a minute :)**

**I won't bore you with the details of RL but all I'll say is having a less-than-quarter-life crisis kinda sucks. **

**On another note, I pulled _Say No_ and _Terms and Conditions are Subject to Change _from the site. I realized that I've lost all inspiration for these stories and found no reason to keep them if I didn't plan on finishing them. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to those who reviewed and alerted them in any way. I just found it unfair to keep them there tbh.**

** Anyway, here's the next update :)**

**This chapter is dedicated to Sam and Charlotte, it's been two weeks but I feel like I've known you forever. -Hugs-**

* * *

The Doors- _Light my Fire_

* * *

_2004._

Bella's place of work was something straight out of Gordon Ramsay's dreams. _Bistro Alexandria _was polished, well-run and from the semi-full dining room, very popular in town.

I imagined it to be smaller and not as well-put together but CIA was definitely not kidding around when it came to training its students.

A tall exotic woman with long, sleek raven hair in black slacks, a red collared shirt and nametag greeted us at the door. Bella smiled at the woman with polite friendliness. "Hey Rina, you're manning the front today?"

"For now." Rina answered with a small South American accent, "Riley comes in an hour."

I tense up trying to let go of the Riley situation. I look over at Bella and notice her send me a little look. Charlie asks Bella to introduce them and he finds out Rina is the assistant manager of the place.

Charlie made reservations for two in advance, unbeknownst to him I would be joining them for the weekend. Rina didn't bat an eye when we informed her we would need a table for three and sat us at the best table in the middle of the restaurant. "Lottie will be your waitress tonight."

"Thank you." We all said in unison.

"Happy birthday, Bella." Rina smiled before returning to the hostess podium that a short guy and tall girl where currently manning.

Bella was blushing furiously at the thought of everyone knowing it was her birthday. "Please don't mention it." She pleaded but Rina just grinned as she walked off.

"I know you don't want the attention but seriously honey, it's your birthday and you deserve it." Charlie told her lightly.

"I agree with Charlie, Bella." I said cautiously. She looked at me curiously, she probably thought I was still trying to suck up to Charlie but it wasn't my fault I wanted to show her off on her birthday.

"Besides, I've requested a small cake for you." Charlie told her, grinning. "Ave-I mean Dr. Carter suggested I do."

I tried very hard not to quirk an eyebrow. Something about the way his voice wrapped around Dr. Carter's name made me wonder if there was something more. I glanced at him and noticed his intense attention to the menu. Bella was too engrossed in everyone knowing about her birthday to notice anything else.

_Interesting…_

"You spoke to Dr. Carter?" Bella's surprise is evident in her voice.

Charlie wilted under Bella's gaze and looked at his hands sheepishly, "I ran into her in Seattle, when I went up to run some errands."

"Oh." Bella nodded watching her father, "I see."

I cleared my throat and perused the menu and felt them do the same. It seemed the three of us were studying rather than choosing.

Our waitress arrived soon after and told us her name is Lottie, something we already knew. She greeted Bella with bubbly enthusiasm. Charlie orders a cold house beer and Bella and I order water with lemon. We grinned at each other; I could only guess that she was remembering our date at _The Pacific Anchor_ like me.

"Bella," I said after Lottie went to retrieve our beverages, "what do you recommend?"

"Hmm…" She flipped over the glossy page, "try the pork chops with herb stuffing. Alec personally created the stuffing; it took him three weeks to perfect it, in the end he had to ask for help from Tom and Ronnie, the new _rotisseur _and _entremetier_, respectively ." She tells me with a smile.

"Fancy language there, Bells." Charlie told her, clearly loving her formative language. She blushed and explained what each title meant and what each chef did in the kitchen.

I grinned at her feeling proud and looked for her suggestion. It looked appetizing and I trusted her judgment.

"Got it."

Charlie cleared his throat and informed us he wanted to try the pan-roasted salmon with fresh onion and fennel salad.

"Sounds good, Dad. I think I'll have the same thing." She told him, closing her menu and looking at him expectantly.

Charlie looked at her for a moment and cleared his throat decidedly, I noticed Bella give him a look. He turned to me, "Edward, how's Dartmouth?"

I felt dejavu since he asked me this when Bella was getting ready but realizing that Bella is coercing him into asking about my life. I answered, "very well, Charlie."

"Edward is studying for his Medical College Admission Test, Dad." Bella beamed at me, hedging me on. Lottie arrived with our water and beer and asked if we've decided on dinner. We gave her our orders and she scurried off to take care of her other tables.

"Is that so?" Charlie told me, real curiosity seeping through his voice.

"Yes." I nodded, burying a sense of dread. The responsible side of me was telling me I should've been studying but the irresponsible side reminded it that Bella was more important at the moment. _I'll go back to studying as soon as I get back to New Hampshire._

"Yes, I'm teaming up with a test preparation company to help me study." I sipped on my lemon water, feeling the refreshingly cool liquid coat my mouth. I didn't realize I was so thirsty until I took a sip. Bella mirrored me, licking her lips before she did. The thought made me smile.

"You mean a tutor." Charlie drank from _his_ glass, dark amber liquid with a thin layer of foam looked just as refreshing as my water.

I wasn't much of a beer drinker, preferring spirits to beer but one couldn't fault me. I wanted to have a drink not because I had a taste for it but because I was still underage. _Nine more months..._

"Yes," I tell him nodding, "they specialize in helping students with standardized testing. It's all too common for students who are preparing for these kinds of tests."

"Like?"

"Gain admittance into law school, medical school, graduate school…"

"I see." Charlie nods, quietly accepting defeat in this little 'battle.' Bella was clearly annoyed by her father but I don't find it offensive. Charlie was having trouble letting go of Bella and even though I sympathized with him I was just as attached to her as he was.

"Bella," a suave voice greeted from behind me. We all turned our attention to where the voice came only to find Riley fucking Biers smiling widely at my girlfriend. "Happy birthday."

"Hi Riley." Bella blushed looking down at her lap, "thank you."

I felt my feathers ruffle but I took calming breaths. _She's with me, not him. She's with _me_, not him. She's with me, _not_ him. _

"Charlie this is the general manager of _Bistro Alexandria_, Riley Biers." Charlie stood up to shake the little smirking fucker's hand. I followed suit only because not only could I feel Bella was about to reintroduce us, but I could also hear my mother's faraway voice telling me to mind my manners. "Riley Biers, my father Charlie Swan."

"_Chief_ Charlie Swan." Charlie corrected Bella, giving Riley a look. I internally cheered, he was just as suspicious of Biers as he was of me; something about this made me extremely happy.

"You remember my boyfriend, Edward Cullen?" Bella asked in a slightly defensive tone. I sent her a reassuring smile before turning back to Biers. He extended his hand to me as soon as Charlie let go of it.

"Hello, Edward. Good to see you again." He told me in a pleasant voice, I gave him a crooked smile. We shook hands and I felt him grip my hand a little too hard. I chuckled hoping fake pleasure to see him again masked my condescending tone.

"Hey Riley. Good to see you again too." My voice came out smooth and hopefully Charlie ignored the venom in it.

"You're early." Bella accused Riley. She cleared her throat, "I mean, Rina just told us you were due in an hour."

"Yeah," he chuckled looking between Charlie and I toward Bella, "I came in half an hour early because I needed to cover some things with her. I don't want to scramble once she leaves. I want to run a tight ship and I believe that the managerial staff needs to converse before the changing of the guard, so to speak." It sounded like he was reciting a well-planned speech one gives at a job interview.

Something told me he was doing this for Charlie's benefit and I didn't like it one bit.

One fucking bit.

"That sounds very good." Charlie noted, nodding once but I could still hear the reservations in his voice. "Tell me, how is everyone treating my little girl?"

"Dad!" Bella chastised him. I sent her a comforting look to which she smiled meekly and locked eyes with me.

My heart raced a bit even after all these years.

"It's a perfectly good question Bella." He said, noticing the moment between her and I. He cleared his throat and turned back to Biers once she and I broke contact.

I noticed he still had an easy smile on my face but I recognized the storm in his eyes. I could hear Charlie ask him again but he and I exchanged hidden glares.

_She's mine._

I hoped he saw my message loud and clear, even nonverbally.

Just then, our server arrived with our food and Lottie came to refresh our drinks. Biers excused himself and reassured Charlie, Bella was being taken care of at _Bistro Alexandria._

Bella launched into this whole spiel on how Alec's team came up with our dishes and recommended a few desserts.

"No need honey." Charlie told her between bites, he was loving the salmon. "Remember I asked them to bake you a cake?"She blushed, looking embarrassed, Charlie went on, "it has blueberries, strawberries and raspberries." His tone was light and teasing. Everyone knew Bella had a very soft spot for berries.

She laughed, "you know how much I love berries…"

"We do." Charlie grinned, looking at me. I stared at him after he went back to his fish and I felt Bella watching me.

_Did Charlie just include me?_

Either Bella and I had become attuned to one another or the question was obvious on my face because she nodded and bit her lip trying to hide her growing smile.

I gave her my patented crooked smile but unlike with Biers, it wasn't condescending— more like relieved.

~.~.~.

_2005._

"This is not what our Founding Fathers fought for." Bella told Jasper who was currently filling his bag with every kind of firework available in the makeshift firework stand just outside of Forks.

"We must celebrate!" Jasper told her as Emmett arrived with more purchases. We were a few miles into the forest celebrating Fourth of July. We planned our own fireworks show before attending the town's show later in the evening.

Jasper ignored Bella, a smirk on his face when he noticed Emmett's white plastic bag with red _Thank You!_ written all over it. "Did you get it, man?"

"I got two ash snakes, a snapper and a few roman candles."

"Sounds great."

I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist as she clicked her tongue. I nudged her to me, quietly reassuring her. She was always the more responsible one of the group.

"Where's Alice and Rose?" Emmett asked us.

"Getting food for us." I told him as Bella tucked herself into my side. I kissed her in the neck, taking in her mouth-watering fragrance. She didn't smell of sugar and chocolate anymore but her freesia shampoo and body wash smelled just as delectable.

"I hope they get me a few hot dogs and a burger." Emmett comments, both he and Jasper ignore my public display of affection.

When before he would have ribbed us about it nonstop, Emmett- and the rest of the gang for that matter, learned to tune us out when we gave each other stray kisses here and there.

Bella sighed into me, and visibly relaxed. I grinned to myself knowing I caused her to relax just the same as she did me.

"Did you get the champagne and liquor?" Emmett continued taking inventory and looked over at me.

"Bought it and is chilling in the cooler." I jutted my free thumb over my shoulder where the blue and white cooler housed the day's refreshments.

"Donovan say anything?" He asked, nodding once and asking about clerk in Forks' lone convenience store.

"Nope."

"Did you get Captain Morgan or Jack?"

"I prefer Jack."

"Me too."

"I like Captain Morgan." Jasper whined, finishing loading. We were going deeper in, into an open meadow for a better viewing and more privacy.

"I don't like rum." Bella commented, her cute button nose scrunching up. I grinned, curving my fingers into her hip. She looked up at me with hooded eyes.

I knew what she was remembering only because I was too.

My twenty-first birthday had been two weeks before and Bella had finally drank alcohol with me. The hour prior to my official birthday, she sneaked into my room with a little cupcake and a green candle.

"I want to light this when twelve hits." She'd informed me. I stood up from my desk, forgetting about studying and focusing on her.

"Baby, you didn't have to do this."

"But I wanted to." She countered setting the cupcake with white frosting and blue sprinkles down on my bedside table. "I'm going to need your lighter by the way." She grinned, I grinned back.

"Do you mind if I light one?"

"No." She told me as she made herself comfortable on my bed. I opened the window and lit up, she watched me from where she was. "You're fucking sexy."

I quirked an eyebrow, feeling my ego swell. "Just because I'm smoking or is it in general?" I perched up on my desk moving my study materials to the side, careful not to sit or let any ash fall on them.

"In general." She told me, I could see her blush from where I sat. I got up quickly to turn off the light and went back to sit on my desk. "But I love it when you smoke. Does that make me a bad person?" She followed me with her gaze across and back.

"Not at all. You're not the one smoking." I tell her, inhaling deep and feeling myself relax. You would think I was smoking pot but even though I was all for doing dumb shit, I wasn't into drugs. Not illegal ones that is.

"Everyone at the restaurant smokes." She told me, sitting up criss-cross-apple-sauce. _There's a term I haven't used since elementary school… _I thought absentmindedly.

"Really?" I find this tidbit interesting.

"Uh-huh. It's a common vice in the restaurant industry though." She sounded like she's reciting a factoid off of a textbook so I ask her where she got this information. "Alec, Alistair and Rina told me as much."

"Interesting." I grinned, "I can say the same thing about medical students."

She blinked once and leaned forward, "are you nervous about senior year?"

"No." I answered her honestly even though I was was shitting bricks.

I'd taken my MCAT the spring before and received a 30.5 out of a possible 45. Considering that most students received a 28, I was one of the few that out-performed the majority.

I was used to being part of the higher-achievers but it was getting to me. Even though I was one of the few, there wasn't much difference between a 28 and a 30.5. I was used to the chasm being wider and I had taken it a little hard.

"_Edward, I can't believe you scored a 30.5!"_ Dad told me when I called to tell them the news.

"I'm sorry I didn't score higher, Dad." I told him, feeling like I let him down. I looked up to him more than I let on and one of my worst fears was disappointing him.

"_What do you mean, son? I scored a 28.9 when I took my MCATs! And I was hungover from the night before."_

I grinned, "say what?"

"_I took my MCATs senior year, Edward."_ He told me quickly, _"I was twenty one when I did."_

One of the very annoying things about my parents was the fact that they always told us the evils of alcohol and expect us to drink in moderation.

Unlike Bella though, Emmett, Alice and I drank behind our parents' back. Hearing my 'responsibility and civil conduct first' father admit that he overindulged was music to my ears. _Which reminds me…_

"Sure, sure Dad. Listen, do you think it would be too much to ask if you could ship the _Steinway _baby grand to New Hampshire?" I waited for the questions.

"_What? Why would you…? Edward are you taking up piano again?" _His voice was nothing but incredulous. I rolled my eyes, taking a deep breath.

"I've been thinking about it for about a year and a half."

"_Edward, that's great news! What made you change your mind after all these years?"_

"I don't know." _Lies. _"It just occurred to me that I could play as a hobby. You know as a tool to distress after studying and working so much."

"_That's great news and you're right. Music has been proven to increase productivity and decrease stress! Let me talk to your mother and see if she's okay with it. After all, it's her family's heirloom. Even though I think she'll be ecstatic."_

"Thanks, Dad. And by the way, could you ask Mom not to say anything to anyone? I don't want to answer the barrage of questions from Alice or Emmett." _Or Bella._ "I wish to refresh my memory and get back on it before letting anyone know."

"_Of course, Edward. You have my word."_

"Edward," Bella called out to me.

"Huh?"

"What happened?" She scooted off the bed and walked over to me, putting her hands on my shoulders. Because I was sitting on my desk, we were at eye-level. "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing." I looked at my cigarette and noticed I needed to shake it a bit. The ash was accumulating rapidly and I didn't want ash all over me.

"So you are nervous." She watched me like a hawk. She thought my little lapse had been because I was hiding my nerves. _Partially._ My silence told her as much. "You don't have to worry, baby." She told me.

"I guess realization that in a year's time I'll be in real medical school hit me." I whispered.

"I'm so proud of you." She whispered leaning forward and planting a chaste kiss on my lips. I grinned at this and put out my cigarette.

"I feel a little better at that." I tell her, wrapping my arms around her but wanting to change the subject and focus on her. "Come here." I pulled her to me roughly and kissed her with as much force as I could without hurting her.

I'd learned throughout our relationship that Bella didn't mind my smoky breath after a cigarette, instead I think she liked it.

Half an hour later she wished me a happy birthday, and thinking she wanted to light my candle I took out my old green lighter I'd had since I started smoking at sixteen.

"No," she shook her head, "I have my own."

"What?"

She took out a small wrapped square and gave it to me with both hands, "I hope you like it."

I grinned, kissing her as thanks and opened it in front of her. It was a-perfectly clean chrome lighter; my fingerprints smudged it when I picked it up. I ignored the small gray microfiber sheet used to clean it. "I love it."

"Turn it around." She whispered, her hands behind her back as she leaned forward on her toes for a second. I chuckled at her nervous movements reminding me how cute she was.

I did what she asked and I noticed something etched on the smooth surface. I leaned forward, squinting my eyes and leaning the lighter towards the window so I could get a bit of light on the reflective surface.

"_Baby, light my fire."_ I read out loud and a little slowly as I made out each word individually. I blinked a few times and realized what it was. I gasped delighted with myself, _"baby, light my fire!"_

"_Come on baby, light my fire." _She sang to me, obviously a little shy to show off her vocal skills but happy that I figured it out so easily. Something she knew would happen because of my Doors love.

"_Try to set the night on fire."_ I finished off the well-known verse and wrapping my hand around the lighter, I threw myself on her. She giggled, "you like it, then?"

"Of-fucking-course I do! How could I not?" I asked her, hugging her tightly.

"I'm glad!" She sounded relieved, "although I feel a little bad because I'm encouraging the habit."

"It's okay." I reassured her, loving her moral compass, "I love you." I pulled away holding her head between my hands. "I fucking love you." I told her again, making her face break out in an awkward smile only because of how I held her head.

"Let's light up the candle."

"Okay."

After wishing for all the luck in the world and sharing my cupcake with her, I took out my hidden bottle of Captain Morgan and a clear shot glass. She laughed when I did.

"Oh come on, Edward."

"Come sit with me." I lay down and patted the empty side of the bed, looking at her with mischievous eyes. She did as I asked and looked at me expectantly. "Are you looking to get drunk?"

"No, not really."

"Okay." She smiled, watching me pour a shot. "Is that rum?"

"Yes."

"What does it taste like?"

I enjoyed her innocent curiosity, "cinnamon and sugar."

"Kind of like Christmas?"

"You can say that."

"Is it very alcoholic?"

"A tad."

"Is it going to get you super drunk?"

"After one shot?" I laughed, "Not even."

"Oh." She nodded, sitting back and taking in this new information. Thinking her questions were over I rose my glass to her, "to us."

I was about to tip it towards me when she stopped me, "wait!"

"What's wrong?"

"I have an idea."

"Yeah?"

"Share."

"What?" I gaped at her, I didn't expect her curiosity to make her break her No Alcohol Before Age 21 rule.

"Share with me." She looked at the rum with wary apprehension. I shook my head, "nope."

"Why not?" She demanded, sounded offended.

"Because I know you, Bella. You're just being curious and I don't want you to force yourself to drink with me."

"You're being rude by not sharing."

"Says she who let me drink half a bottle of tequila by myself _only _to seduce me." I threw back, cocking my eyebrow and hoping she sees I'm teasing. She blushed in response but her eyes didn't leave the rum.

I bit my lip not knowing what to do. I wanted to give her what she wanted but part of me told me I was corrupting her too much.

"Come on Edward." She coaxed, leaning forward and looking at me with bedroom eyes.

_What the fuck? When did she turn on the sex kitten switch? Actually, when did she get this switch in the first place?_ "It'll be my first…" She whispered, licking her lips slowly.

I swallowed thickly, my eyes glossing over and feeling goosebumps all over. I began to breathe through my mouth and wondered when the fuck the tables had turned. Last I knew, I was the instigator who leaned on seduction to get his way.

The fact that she was becoming confident in her sexuality and herself both turned me the fuck on and scared the shit out of me.

"B-Bella, w-what are you saying..?" _Was I stuttering?_ I felt her lean toward me as I leaned back into my headboard.

"I just want a little taste." She whispered, she began licking her bottom lip at a torturous pace and my eyes went to it like a laser. "It must taste sweet…" She raked her eyes up to meet mine and her chocolate eyes turned mahogany but shone with seductive light. _Holy mother of fuck._ "Can't I have a taste?"

I blinked a few times before I realized I liked this more than feared it. I felt myself smile slowly, an idea forming in my mind.

"This is going to be my first legal drink." I whispered, getting a grip of myself and matching her quiet voice. I heard a tiny gasp escape her lips, "but this would also be your first illegal drink."

I fucking loved the idea forming in my mind.

"Ever heard of shotgun hits?" I asked, half-expecting her to not know of stoner speak.

"No." She shook her head lightly but keeping her eyes on me.

"Let me show you." I took the shot, not breaking eye contact. She frowned and pouted, I grinned holding the sweet liquor in my mouth and putting my index finger and thumb on her chin. I leaned forward, asking her to open up nonverbally.

She tipped her head back and opened her lips to me. _God, she's fucking sexy._

I closed my eyes and let half the liquid trickle down into her awaiting mouth. I feel her heartbeat against my chest loving the fact that it's beating as fast as mine. I lean back watching her get used to the taste, she inches back swallowing slowly.

Her face turned a little sour and I swallowed, myself. I waited for her to tell me how much she hated the taste, only focusing on the burn of the alcohol and not the sweetness of the rum.

"What do you think?"

"It's…"

"Yeah?"

"Interesting."

"Bad interesting or good interesting?"

"Interesting interesting."

"Okay…"

"Give me another."

"What?" I blinked, a little surprised at her answer. She giggled into her hand and I wondered the potency of half a shot to a virginal drinker. _I doubt she's tipsy even if it's her first time…_

"But this time give me a full shot."

"Baby-"

"Another Edward." She demanded, "I want to try it some more."

"Okay…"

She and I drank more than half the bottle of rum in shots, and ended up a little more than tipsy. "Bella," I told her after the umpteenth shot, "be quieter baby. Mom and Dad are going to come in…" She was giggling uncontrollably at something I said. Worst part was that I didn't remember what I said.

"Give me 'nother." She told me putting the glass in my face.

"Only if you're quieter." I giggled myself at her antics. She was slurring and so was I; I figured I was worsening my buzz subconsciously to match hers.

"Come on Edward." She whined, "or else I won't put out tonight."

"Excuse me?" I laughed not knowing if to feel surprised at her confession, insulted that she thought I expected it or disappointed that it might not happen. What? I was a horny motherfucker.

"Oh you know." She leaned toward me, trying to sound sensual like before but looking more adorable than sexy.

I gave her a two more shots and somehow we ended up naked, sweaty and on a post-coital high.

I said I was horny.

The next morning Bella learned of the beauty of the hangover and cursed me, Captain Morgan, molasses and alcohol for the rest of the day. I didn't mind one bit.

"I think we should set him on fire to recreate the Salem Witch Trials." I heard Jasper say. Something about it made me think he was talking about me. I looked at him trying to reestablish myself and hating the fact that I'd reminisced a little too much.

"There you are." Bella told me, smiling. "Where you remembering?"

"A little." I leaned forward and kissed her between her throat and shoulder— I had a thing for her neck and she knew it too. I wasn't ashamed to admit it.

"Come on kids," Emmett told us. "Do the girls know where we're going?" He asked as he set out deeper into the woods.

"Yes." I told him letting go of Bella but reaching out for her hand. "Let's go blow some fireworks up, shall we?"

~.~.~.

Alice and Jasper were obnoxious drunks, that was for sure.

They were arguing about what state knew more about barbecuing. I had no idea how the argument started, let alone the point.

"Washington!" Alice screams.

"Texas!" Jasper yells.

I roll my eyes, "Jasper wins."

"What does that mean?" Alice demanded, feeling offended that I didn't take her side.

"We obviously know more about grillin' than you, suga." Jasper answers for me rather proudly.

"Bull-fucking-shit." Alice so eloquently replied. I watch her and Jasper and for some reason dejavu hits me and I swear she…

_Hmmm…_

I sat back and thought for a minute. Bella took a sip of her cranberry and vodka drink—more juice than vodka and laughed at their antics. Emmett was chatting with Rosalie in between keeping an eye on the argument and eating his fourth hot dog.

They became close once Rose entered Parsons. The connection between architecture and interior design made them sort of kin. Alice told me Rose called Emmett when she had questions about anything technical.

"You're drink is watering down." Bella told me after a minute, she was buzzed more than the rest of us, her body still not used to the alcohol.

I absentmindedly listened to her and continued to watch Jasper and Alice. My mind was working over an idiotic thought, something told me to voice it.

"Do you think Alice likes Jasper?" I squinted, watching them literally dance around each other. They were trying to recite the Pledge of Allegiance faster than the other sounding more like a deranged patriotic show than anything else.

"… to the United States of America..!" Jasper skipped the very beginning putting him at an unfair advantage, infuriating Alice.

"I pledge allegiance to the United States of America..!" Alice tried to start as fast as possible only for Jasper to be ahead of her.

"... republic for which it stands..!"

"and to the republic..!"

"…one nation..!" I could feel their desire to beat the other in waves from where I sit making me wonder even more. Flashbacks came to me, one after the other.

"… for which it stands..!"

Bella scoffed and rolled her eyes, "I'll say. Those two are going to end up playing tonsil hockey by the end of the night."

"What?" I look at her in shock. "What do you mean..?"

"…indivisiblewithlibertyandjusticeforall!" Jasper yelled in one breath. "I win!" He punched the sky in triumph, Alice huffed stomping her foot.

Like a jigsaw puzzle, I saw everything come together in my mind. My mouth dropped, watching Jasper laugh like a maniac while Alice jabbed her finger into his chest, clearly demanding a rematch.

Bella and I replaced them in my mind.

"Are you telling me…"

She must have realized what I was thinking and she swallowed hard, looking at me with concern. She didn't answer right away but seeing my look of interested surprise she said, "may…be…?"

* * *

**_Rôtisseur_: roast cook. In charge of roasts, broils, and deep fries dishes  
**

**_Entremetier:_ prepares soups and other dishes not involving meat or fish, including vegetable dishes and egg dishes. (Thank you Wikipedia ;])**

**I've wanted to write this chapter since the very beginning of the story. Maybe because Bella is becoming confident in her own skin, or because... well that's the only reason lol**

**Finally, I haven't updated my blog in awhile mostly bc laziness got the better of me. Who would like me to get off my lazy ass and update it, show of hands?**

**Thoughts, comments, concerns? Let me know :)**


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